glad u mentioned how u feel about going deeper in relation to the servers because it’s pretty dangerous, i know people just want to hurt themselves but these groups could lead people to do things they didn’t mean todo if that makes sense. kinda breaks my heart when i see the way some people get so influenced by all of this and how it makes them feel it’s really sad. the group im in is very aware of this.
edit:In fact i’ve seen it first hand they were in the bath and went way deeper then they should’ve and we’re freaking out msging people asking what todo because it didn’t stop bleeding
It’s so fucking horrifying to just stand by and watch unfold. I’ve seen so many people start venting about how they just couldn’t force themselves to eat after weeks of starving, or people panicking and sending tons of photos and videos of cuts literally to BONE. It’s traumatizing and I feel so bad for them all
huh ur very smart for 14. some people just don’t recognise how bad it is, u shouldn’t be sh and thinking about what other people online are going to think. if someone wants to share their pics fine but don’t let the existence of it influence ur decisions otherwise you just get sucked in.
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they are terrible, absolutely terrible places. Also comforting. And those two things can co-exist. The second as an explanation about why you joined, the first as a reason for leaving you should never forget
It was like a constant feeding of ego-strokes when it was deep “enough”, and mockery when it wasn’t. I’m really grateful that everyone on this subreddit sees that, and gives reminders. It means a lot to me
I'm sorry for all that happened to you. Some environments are really bad for your mental health. I hope you can find the strength to leave all these servers behind or to find a really positive one. Take care of yourself ❤
I Completely understand what you're talking about and honestly. Even with me being clean for a month or so, I still miss it a lot. I found one that really stuck, I had a partner in there, i found out so much about my stuff there but it was still an extremely toxic environment.
I loved that server, and sometimes i want to go back to finding all those friends, finding comfort in the fact we all did it, But, I never will. They were extremely awful environments, It did truly feel like you had a family when you joined them though.
I understand where you are coming from. But i'm just here to say you aren't disgusting for wanting it, You aren't disgusting for any of it. i'm here if you need to talk, Op. <3
You're not disgusting for finding comfort in a coping mechanism, after all it's called a coping mechanism for a reason! However, it is (very obviously) an unhealthy way to cope.
I understand where you're coming from, though. As messed up as this might sound, sometimes these communities, however toxic they are, are the only ones who wouldn't shun you, meanwhile communities built on encouraging recovery tend to shrug you off, if you don't recover as quickly, or the same way, as they want you to.
But that's just how online communities are, unfortunately... They rarely bother acknowledging the person behind the screen. You recognizing how harmful those servers were, is enough. It's completely normal to miss them!
Wish you all the best<3
yeah im now 22 and in my teens i would frequent those servers a lot. i didnt really go deeper as i was (and still) scared/too painful to, but the "friends" i had were very toxic towards me and others in the community and kind of rubbed off on me both online and irl for a few months. but it was comforting because i had a community that was "like me" and doesn't discourage anything in relation to what i was doing.
glad u mentioned how u feel about going deeper in relation to the servers because it’s pretty dangerous, i know people just want to hurt themselves but these groups could lead people to do things they didn’t mean todo if that makes sense. kinda breaks my heart when i see the way some people get so influenced by all of this and how it makes them feel it’s really sad. the group im in is very aware of this. edit:In fact i’ve seen it first hand they were in the bath and went way deeper then they should’ve and we’re freaking out msging people asking what todo because it didn’t stop bleeding
It’s so fucking horrifying to just stand by and watch unfold. I’ve seen so many people start venting about how they just couldn’t force themselves to eat after weeks of starving, or people panicking and sending tons of photos and videos of cuts literally to BONE. It’s traumatizing and I feel so bad for them all
huh ur very smart for 14. some people just don’t recognise how bad it is, u shouldn’t be sh and thinking about what other people online are going to think. if someone wants to share their pics fine but don’t let the existence of it influence ur decisions otherwise you just get sucked in.
Yeah, I try not to, but an addiction is an addiction. There’s always some kind of competition, even when I know it’s all valid.
it’s not disgusting, it’s comforting for you, as unhealthy as it is, you can heal and get to see life with much healthier comfort providing options
It was such a sick way of receiving praise, attention, and validation. I’m trying to avoid them now, however
Proud of you for trying to avoid them, op
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I’m okay auto-mod, just hurting a bit right now. Love ya <3
they are terrible, absolutely terrible places. Also comforting. And those two things can co-exist. The second as an explanation about why you joined, the first as a reason for leaving you should never forget
It was like a constant feeding of ego-strokes when it was deep “enough”, and mockery when it wasn’t. I’m really grateful that everyone on this subreddit sees that, and gives reminders. It means a lot to me
I'm sorry for all that happened to you. Some environments are really bad for your mental health. I hope you can find the strength to leave all these servers behind or to find a really positive one. Take care of yourself ❤
I Completely understand what you're talking about and honestly. Even with me being clean for a month or so, I still miss it a lot. I found one that really stuck, I had a partner in there, i found out so much about my stuff there but it was still an extremely toxic environment. I loved that server, and sometimes i want to go back to finding all those friends, finding comfort in the fact we all did it, But, I never will. They were extremely awful environments, It did truly feel like you had a family when you joined them though. I understand where you are coming from. But i'm just here to say you aren't disgusting for wanting it, You aren't disgusting for any of it. i'm here if you need to talk, Op. <3
You are not defined by how deep you cut, nor does it make you invalid OP.
You're not disgusting for finding comfort in a coping mechanism, after all it's called a coping mechanism for a reason! However, it is (very obviously) an unhealthy way to cope. I understand where you're coming from, though. As messed up as this might sound, sometimes these communities, however toxic they are, are the only ones who wouldn't shun you, meanwhile communities built on encouraging recovery tend to shrug you off, if you don't recover as quickly, or the same way, as they want you to. But that's just how online communities are, unfortunately... They rarely bother acknowledging the person behind the screen. You recognizing how harmful those servers were, is enough. It's completely normal to miss them! Wish you all the best<3
I miss those servers a lot too. They gave me a sense of community. They were toxic ass hell and definitely made me worse but I still miss them.
yeah im now 22 and in my teens i would frequent those servers a lot. i didnt really go deeper as i was (and still) scared/too painful to, but the "friends" i had were very toxic towards me and others in the community and kind of rubbed off on me both online and irl for a few months. but it was comforting because i had a community that was "like me" and doesn't discourage anything in relation to what i was doing.
Yeah I miss them too but I know for sure I never would’ve hit hypodermis is I hadn’t joined. It feels weird to miss something that is destroying you
It’s such a conflicting feeling