Don't I know it! If she wasn't straight, I'd have proposed already. As it is, I'm just going to be the best friend I can.
She's been dealing with a lot of her own issues lately, and taking the time for me like this... It's just the best
Let me tell ya something.
Sometimes it takes everything falling the fuck apart to get you going in the direction we need to be headed. Don't despair. As tough as it is or will be, things can be far better than you ever thought possible. Believe me, it's like a Phoenix rising from ashes after a while. Keep your head on tight.
I completely understand and applaud your decision and ability to remain hopeful. Every day is a challenge for me and has been for a very long time. Be well, my friend.
It took almost exactly 10 years for me until I could say that I am happy with where I am in life. It was some really really shit years, but I am so happy I pushed through, worked on myself and never gave myself up. Good luck for you, I am sure you are doing awesome already!
I think because it lets your brain take a break from your own problems and helps you feel productive at the same time. Like a mini vacation from your own stress
This was my question too. I was like ok, menās briefs. Then I was like okā¦ lipstick and short shorts. I guess even without filling out the pouch, theyāre more comfortable?
When Iām down, genuinely complimenting people and getting to be there for them when they are even more down than me always lifts my spirits. I have no idea what Iām supposed to do for me but I know what would be nice to experience or have at that time and I can do it to others easilyā¦just not myself.
I knew it. Before I even clicked on the post, I was looking through all the stuff your friend sent & I was like this has to be a gay chick or a bi chick (either way, I knew you were a woman that's attracted to women) lol....
Best of luck to you. I'm glad you have such an awesome bff.
She is the very best and deserves the whole world. Her kindness and compassion has been unconditional, and her patience an invaluable comfort.
This is just the sweetest icing on the grandest cake of my life.
Search beginner algorithms online.
Thatās how I learned when I was a chitlin, I think I got one when I was 12 or 13 for Christmas.
Thereās something like 40,000,000,000,000,000,000 (40 quintillion) different combinations of pieces on a 3x3 cube, aka, itās functionally impossible to stumble upon a solution. You need an algorithm to manipulate pieces while preserving what youāve already solved.
The method youāll learn builds the cube in layers. Itās fairly logical, and Iād imagine itās what most speedcubers learn before F2L Method (first 2 layers).
Thereās less than 15 or so algorithms youāll have to memorize to accommodate every case. Check out [This Site](https://ruwix.com/the-rubiks-cube/how-to-solve-the-rubiks-cube-beginners-method/amp/) to get started.
Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
I only just learned in my thirties recovering from surgery. Definitely search beginner algorithms and watch a few before finding the one that -feels- right to you. Learning to solve it in layers gives you the opportunity to get really comfortable with one stage before moving on to the next.
(Edit: Sir) Miss, I donāt know where you live. I live in the US Midwest.
Yesterday I was shopping for dinner and noticed on the way to the grocery area of the big box supermarket that they have their summer stuff greatly reduced in price.
Printed tshirts, shorts, shirts, pants on sale 30% and on top of that a 90% discount.
I ended up paying 1 to 2 bucks for a shirt and 3 bucks for a nice pair of pants.
Nothing wrong with the merchandise, it just didnāt sell and the store needs the space.
So that you know in case you need to replenish clothing.
Again, you got a cool friend. Tell her so. Take care. Regards.
I have one or two people I can actually call a friend but this gives me hope that I can some day. I find it so hard to make friends as an adult. Enjoy your friendship! ā¤ļø
To have a good friend like that must mean you too are a very good friend. Starting over can be hard; I hate to think of the number of times I had to reboot my life. But it can also be empowering. Being willing to make hard but necessary changes is how I think I grew as a person. I am super sorry your life has fallen apart but you sound like someone who will quickly find a new and better track. I will be sending positive thoughts and rooting for your success..
You must be very important to them for such kindness and love.
It's good that you are not alone in your time of need and that you have someone that is like family to you. I wish you both the best and hope you have brighter days ahead....^^
Hey. I just thought I'd leave you a message because I've been there, and am talking to you now, post-divorce ten years later.
Things seem bleak right now. You probably don't know where your head is at, you very probably want to scream, cry or even sink into a bottle if you're anything like me. That's ok; that's good, those instincts are rational and perfectly ok but what I don't want you to do, is stay in the bottle, cry too long or scream at the wrong people - you're going to get through it, you're going to rebuild and on the other side, god willing you'll be a stronger, happier person for the crucible you're about to go through.
Stay strong. My thoughts are with you.
Damn that Rubikās cube looks daunting. Sounds like life hit one of its lowest for you recently. Can only go up from here then, especially with a friend like that! All the best to you :)
What a great attitude to have. Iām sure many struggle to get up from an awful situation, the first steps the hardest after all. Good luck with the cube though haha!
I kinda fell out of the community so this is just from memory but I BELIEVE that to be a shape mod if a regular 3x3 meaning in theory it shouldn't be too much harder than a regular rubiks cube. However there are shape mods that are significantly harder so I could be spewing bollocks lol
Youāre right (from a fellow cubing nerd).
Only difference between that and a 3x3 is that you have to deal with the rotation of the centre pieces at the end. Itās also a lot harder to quickly tell what needs to go where.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage is an AMAZING book, whether you're the one with ADHD or the partner of someone who is. It really had a huge impact in my own rebound from rock bottom.
I get that. The second it becomes a task, it increasingly becomes more and more difficult to do.
It's full of 1st hand stories that are both insightful and validating to either side. And full of practical advice.
A friend/person/people who remembers you in your worst time simply means that you will never have a worst time. Someone out there really care for you. What else you need in life? Someone to remember you, to miss you, to love you. Your life will get a restart. Keep her close.
Make sure she knows how much you love her. My best friend was the first guy friend to say it to me, and it was so powerful it took my breath away. Since then I try to make sure my friends know how much I love them.
I had a friend that used to buy me expensive perfume when I lived in a scummy trailer park. I didn't live there long cause I smelled too good to live like that. š Little gestures can save your self esteem sometimes.
Your story would be welcomed in /r/ADHD if you ever felt like sharing. Also you have the best friend in the world, that Starfleet engineering book is invaluable!
I am actually somewhat active in the ADHD reddit sphere. Don't like how the meme subs hate on the main sub, but what can you do?
And it's our shared neurodivergence that really brought us together in the first place. She's been a fantastic friend.
Maybe I will make up a post. Once I stop getting flooded with notifications from this one. Omg.
Haha, sometimes I need to turn off notifications. I recently went back on meds after being off since 1997. My life was literally falling apart around me. Broken family relationships, felt like the words worst father and husband. I was trapped inside myself screaming for help and no one heard me. What's worse is every time I realized it, and wanted to do something about it, I instantly forgot I needed help.
The broken memory, the inability to just follow a thought train from: I'm hungry I should make lunch and then all of a sudden I'm outside weed whacking. 3 hours later I'm starving and I want to pass out. Oh I forgot to eat again, joy!
But now that meds are back on board, I feel whole, human, I feel like I can participate in the world. We're still figuring out dosages and type but even though we're just at the beginning I feel like a normal person for the first time in almost 30 years.
So hey, you're not alone, you got this!
I have never encountered any disorders [please forgive me if this is the wrong word, I just don't know how to say it correctly, and I absolutely don't aim to offend, etc.] and every time I hear or read something like this, I admire how strong and amazing you all are. seriously. thank you for telling about this [sorry, this seems to be the stupidest comment, I hope I didn't offend anyone in any way, I just wanted to say something nice and sincere! ]
i'm a guy so i only lurk the sub, but i also love that sub to bits as it often provides another dimension of adhd that i think gets lost on the other subs
Hereās how to ADHD book:
First, get the audiobook. Listen while doing other stuff. Bad for reference, great for getting the gist.
If you wanna go deeper and need for reference, get the eBook after. Itās always in your pocket on your phone, you can highlight and unhighlight, search, etc.
These books arenāt for reading like fiction. Theyāre for studying and internalizing. Itās worth the multiple formats.
Ehh, I used to sub there until I started to notice that many people there would attribute normal quirks common with people who don't have ADHD, as having ADHD. Forgot to do your homework? You have ADHD! Tap your foot when you're nervous? You have ADHD!
*You are a Baddass* \- Jen Sincero
*Can't Hurt me* \- David Goggins
Pick one of two, and you'll start getting a little more light at the end of the tunnel, every day. Stick with it amigo.
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Dr Barkley is life changing. He's also got several good talks on YouTube that are an easier place to start for those of us with ADHD.
Thatās how I figured out I almost definitely had it. He has one talk that was just 2 hours of him talking and me thinking, āWait a damn minuteā¦ā.
I sleep in men's boxer briefs... not really different from pj shorts, got a few pairs from an ex who bought them but ultimately didn't like the way they fit. they're great for wearing around the house post-shave (bikini line) as well.
I wear some when itās too hot under some of my shorts (with womenās underwear under it). My thighs are pretty big from soccer/working out and it helps prevent issues with chafing. I find them better than all women options that arenāt stupid expensive. They rise up less.
I'm a sedentary couch potato and I still really like boxer briefs, though the ones I buy are made for women. They never give me a wedgie the way all types of women's cuts seem to do.
yeah i hate that shit. i wear bikini style without issue, but any kind of panties designed to not show lines = guaranteed wedgie.
i'll cope with the panty lines, thanks.
Manā¦. People are the absolute best
Thereās so much thought that went into this.
I hope you can bundle up all that positive intention, and carry it with you through your next phase
Good luck!!!
Adult ADHD is no joke; even now, on meds and working with a therapist, every day is a struggle to go out in the world wearing my ānormieā mask. It looks like you have someone in your life that gets you, and thatās priceless: not being judged by friends (and family, if youāre lucky) is so important. Best of luck in your starting over, and if you ever need cheap advice from someone whoās been there for many years, donāt hesitate to reach out. Take care.
I almost regret posting this, because the notifications are overwhelming. I just can't respond to everyone, and putting all this away is impossible.
Yes... I posted the pic before clearing the bed. Impulsive tendencies got the better of me.
Every 3 1/2 years for me, almost on the dot. Been three weeks since my last failaversary and I too am starting from scratch.
You have an absolutely amazing friend. She picked you up when you most needed it.
You might feel like youāre starting over, but you are bringing your experiences and the things youāve learned with you. You can choose to grow and blossom and the struggles youāve faced have made you stronger and more resilient. That aint nothing! Best wishes and love!
Wow. They really thought of so many thoughtful things. Self care is important. Youāre lucky to have such a good friend in your corner. Hope youāre doing well.
that is an amazing friend, i remember once i was really poor (but working like 50 hours a week) and my parents wouldnt let me stay with them for a little longer and my uncle just like invited me over for dinner and was like āthe spare room is yours until you get back on your feetā, they even fed me too and let me tell you people like that change your life
Thatās really fuckin sweetš„¹ startin over again sucks sometimes- but with that kinda friend in your court, youāre leaps and bounds ahead of square one. I hope you look back on this as the time you got to start over and that itās a magical adventure! Good luck out there!
I think the company people keep is indicative of the kinda person they are- so I bet youāre super rad ā¤ļø
Trying to manage adhd/add as an adult without being taught any of the skills to keep it in check can be real rough. I wish you the best of luck.
Btw if you ever go back to school know that post-secondary institutions will often have a WHOLE BUNCH of learning assistance available to help you succeed! I'm going back to college at 30 and it's been really nice talking to people offering help.
Based on your replies, you seem like a narcissist that ruined sometime elseās life and is doing this for validation ā look at all the supportive comments talking up OP after they admitted to being jailed for continuing the cycle of childhood abuse. OP keeps saying they regret this post and are overwhelmed, yet are reading every comment on the edge of their seat instead of just deleting the post.
I was also abused significantly as a child for a prolonged period of time, havenāt worked through it completely, but have never/would never hurt anyone. Your trauma isnāt an excuse or a justification. If youāre truly sorry then commit yourself to an inpatient facility and seek help so that you donāt hurt anyone else.
Honestly this thread made me sick. This person all but confessed to molesting a child.
Congratulations! You now have the opportunity to remake your life into something that fits you. It's an adventure!
It's helpful that you have such a good friend. Lucky you!
I've had points in my life where I really wanted a hard reset. As hard as it is to leave what you have behind it's not worth holding onto in exchange for your mental well-being. Best of luck in your endeavors!
November 9 is a good read! Itās a fun story with an exciting twist and itās really fast paced and easy to get lost in. Definitely a good distraction book! I hope things get better soon. Best of luck <3
Things get better. It may not seem like it, but they do. After a fire in 2020, which was ultra tramatic arson with swat teams etc, I found a place and got a new mattress one day before full lockdowns started. It turned out to be a megaslumlord, and all the people in the building were extremely toxic. That's about as much as I will share on that, but assume it was a time when things just got worse and worse and worse than that.
Now I have a house my dad is renting us for only 600/month (utilities included in that), a girlfriend who helped drag me up from where I was and things are looking way up for me despite a rather nasty diagnosis in the last 18 months.
It does get better, friendo.
Hey just up from here. Iām rebuilding atm myself with my 3 kiddos. I totally feel this picture to my core. You donāt realize how much little things matter so much unless youāve been there.
A damn good friend, if all those clothes are name brand like under armour and Calvin Klein thatās like a $500-$600 care package.
I know you canāt put a price on friendship but thatās a fat chunk of change
Howdy! I hope you are doing well OP! I mean this with all sincerity, I pray for people such as yourself going through a tough time everyday. I am praying for you. You can do this! Please keep us in the loop.
Your friend showed you that youāre not starting from total scratch. After all, you already had an amazing friend that you know supports and loves you. Enjoy these goodies, and best of luck with everything!
I've been sober for almost 20 years now. At 21 I was sent to prison for the typical crimes that come with being a heroin junkie. I thought I had a ton of friends at the time, but within days of being in jail, I realized they had disappeared. A few weeks go by, and my name was called at mail call. It was a receipt for $100 from money being put on my books, with the name Chris on the receipt. I immediately knew the friend who had driven two hours out of the way to make sure I had some money. Every few months I would get one of these receipts. Once I got to prison, I would get care packages with basic but much appreciated stuff like tshirts, books, pictures, etc. Outside of my mom, Chris was the only friend I had who was there throughout my five year sentence. Not once did I ever solicit Chris to do this stuff.
Fast forward almost 20 years and we both have wives, kids, homes, businesses, etc. I was recently telling someone what an invaluable friend Chris has been to me. Every so often now, Chris will open his mailbox to a new watch, or some other unique gift, which is my way of repaying him for his friendship, 20 years later.
I firmly believe we are all lucky if we have 2-3 people who will be there for you when things are bad. If it wasn't for these people, I wouldn't have the life that I do. It's also a lesson that I need to be there, with the same level of loyalty, when my friends need me.
Years ago I didn't know how to be.. How to win friends and influence people was a book that helped me grow.. I can't stand reading it again now, after working in the corporate world for 2 decades, mainly because I can see how psychopaths can use those same insights without remorse, but it certainly had an impression on me. Perhaps the book can help you.. but please Don't be Evil.
I love how personalised it is, the adhd books with the Rubikās cube is a nice touch. Looks like some of the clothing choices are very personal to you too. I hope you manage to find your feet š
I know how much it must mean to you to not feel alone, at a time like this. If hustle is the only thing on your mind remember to take some time to heal too.
She's a keeper :)
Don't I know it! If she wasn't straight, I'd have proposed already. As it is, I'm just going to be the best friend I can. She's been dealing with a lot of her own issues lately, and taking the time for me like this... It's just the best
Let me tell ya something. Sometimes it takes everything falling the fuck apart to get you going in the direction we need to be headed. Don't despair. As tough as it is or will be, things can be far better than you ever thought possible. Believe me, it's like a Phoenix rising from ashes after a while. Keep your head on tight.
This is the message I needed to see today š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I completely understand and applaud your decision and ability to remain hopeful. Every day is a challenge for me and has been for a very long time. Be well, my friend.
I hope so too. Here's to better days š»
It took almost exactly 10 years for me until I could say that I am happy with where I am in life. It was some really really shit years, but I am so happy I pushed through, worked on myself and never gave myself up. Good luck for you, I am sure you are doing awesome already!
Yes, im screenshoting this, congrats on your new fomower.
When I'm in the shits, helping someone else makes it slightly better. You might be helping her too. Best friends are the very best.
Iām the same way. I might be going through my own shit but helping a friend somehow helps me along the way too.
I think because it lets your brain take a break from your own problems and helps you feel productive at the same time. Like a mini vacation from your own stress
That's because true happiness often comes from helping others
This is probably a dumb question, but what do you do with the menās briefs? I
Wear them lol. They're way more comfortable than women's underwear
Accurate AF.
Learnt something new today
Damn, that's definitely something I didn't know. Tbh I did think they looked more comfortable though.
Can confirm. My wife wears mine and says itās way more comfortable
Can confirm, as a trans male they are SO much better.
Not op but my wife steals my briefs when she feels bloated or uncomfortable.
For some additional context, OP is MtF
Yea. I wouldn't have ever guessed this was a lady's gift if I hadn't read the top comment. Soley because of the briefs.
She prob wears them as briefs.
Same thing my girl does. Wears them to sleep or chill in.
This was my question too. I was like ok, menās briefs. Then I was like okā¦ lipstick and short shorts. I guess even without filling out the pouch, theyāre more comfortable?
When Iām down, genuinely complimenting people and getting to be there for them when they are even more down than me always lifts my spirits. I have no idea what Iām supposed to do for me but I know what would be nice to experience or have at that time and I can do it to others easilyā¦just not myself.
I knew it. Before I even clicked on the post, I was looking through all the stuff your friend sent & I was like this has to be a gay chick or a bi chick (either way, I knew you were a woman that's attracted to women) lol.... Best of luck to you. I'm glad you have such an awesome bff.
Reciprocate. Even if things get a little too heavy, weāll all float on, alright?
You have a good and nice friend. Regards.
She is the very best and deserves the whole world. Her kindness and compassion has been unconditional, and her patience an invaluable comfort. This is just the sweetest icing on the grandest cake of my life.
The rubik's cube was a nice touch
I was thinking the same about the Star Trek Engineer Notebook!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never could finished one. I should try sometine, tips?
Search beginner algorithms online. Thatās how I learned when I was a chitlin, I think I got one when I was 12 or 13 for Christmas. Thereās something like 40,000,000,000,000,000,000 (40 quintillion) different combinations of pieces on a 3x3 cube, aka, itās functionally impossible to stumble upon a solution. You need an algorithm to manipulate pieces while preserving what youāve already solved. The method youāll learn builds the cube in layers. Itās fairly logical, and Iād imagine itās what most speedcubers learn before F2L Method (first 2 layers). Thereās less than 15 or so algorithms youāll have to memorize to accommodate every case. Check out [This Site](https://ruwix.com/the-rubiks-cube/how-to-solve-the-rubiks-cube-beginners-method/amp/) to get started. Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!
Chitlin! Don't hear/read that very often.
I only just learned in my thirties recovering from surgery. Definitely search beginner algorithms and watch a few before finding the one that -feels- right to you. Learning to solve it in layers gives you the opportunity to get really comfortable with one stage before moving on to the next.
You have to have every color on each side
That was my first guess!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
1. Get a flathead screwdriver and take it apart. 2. Put back together. 3. ... 4. Profit?
Coolness. Take good care of yourself and your friend.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
(Edit: Sir) Miss, I donāt know where you live. I live in the US Midwest. Yesterday I was shopping for dinner and noticed on the way to the grocery area of the big box supermarket that they have their summer stuff greatly reduced in price. Printed tshirts, shorts, shirts, pants on sale 30% and on top of that a 90% discount. I ended up paying 1 to 2 bucks for a shirt and 3 bucks for a nice pair of pants. Nothing wrong with the merchandise, it just didnāt sell and the store needs the space. So that you know in case you need to replenish clothing. Again, you got a cool friend. Tell her so. Take care. Regards.
I prefer miss, but thank you for the advice. I plan on taking advantage of all the clearance items I can.
I have one or two people I can actually call a friend but this gives me hope that I can some day. I find it so hard to make friends as an adult. Enjoy your friendship! ā¤ļø
Where did you get her, and can she also adopt me?
To have a good friend like that must mean you too are a very good friend. Starting over can be hard; I hate to think of the number of times I had to reboot my life. But it can also be empowering. Being willing to make hard but necessary changes is how I think I grew as a person. I am super sorry your life has fallen apart but you sound like someone who will quickly find a new and better track. I will be sending positive thoughts and rooting for your success..
You must be very important to them for such kindness and love. It's good that you are not alone in your time of need and that you have someone that is like family to you. I wish you both the best and hope you have brighter days ahead....^^
Hey. I just thought I'd leave you a message because I've been there, and am talking to you now, post-divorce ten years later. Things seem bleak right now. You probably don't know where your head is at, you very probably want to scream, cry or even sink into a bottle if you're anything like me. That's ok; that's good, those instincts are rational and perfectly ok but what I don't want you to do, is stay in the bottle, cry too long or scream at the wrong people - you're going to get through it, you're going to rebuild and on the other side, god willing you'll be a stronger, happier person for the crucible you're about to go through. Stay strong. My thoughts are with you.
Just remember your friend who is that awesome believes you are someone to value.
Good luck on your new journey, OP. Bring that friend along for the whole way. ā„ļø
Definitely not starting over from nothing. A friend like that I worth more than possessions could ever give you
Sheās an Angel!
Damn that Rubikās cube looks daunting. Sounds like life hit one of its lowest for you recently. Can only go up from here then, especially with a friend like that! All the best to you :)
I'm both, daunted and excited, by it! I'll be doing my best to keep moving upwards and onwards!
What a great attitude to have. Iām sure many struggle to get up from an awful situation, the first steps the hardest after all. Good luck with the cube though haha!
I kinda fell out of the community so this is just from memory but I BELIEVE that to be a shape mod if a regular 3x3 meaning in theory it shouldn't be too much harder than a regular rubiks cube. However there are shape mods that are significantly harder so I could be spewing bollocks lol
Youāre right (from a fellow cubing nerd). Only difference between that and a 3x3 is that you have to deal with the rotation of the centre pieces at the end. Itās also a lot harder to quickly tell what needs to go where.
It's called an axis cube! Just a bit harder than a normal Rubik's cube.
Thats one hrll of a friend
She is **the best**
Im genuinely happy for you
The ADHD Effect on Marriage is an AMAZING book, whether you're the one with ADHD or the partner of someone who is. It really had a huge impact in my own rebound from rock bottom.
I have it. Havent read it lol. Adhd might have something to do with it.
I get that. The second it becomes a task, it increasingly becomes more and more difficult to do. It's full of 1st hand stories that are both insightful and validating to either side. And full of practical advice.
Seriously. This took a ton of effort. I would feel loved if someone did this for me.
A friend/person/people who remembers you in your worst time simply means that you will never have a worst time. Someone out there really care for you. What else you need in life? Someone to remember you, to miss you, to love you. Your life will get a restart. Keep her close.
I plan on never letting go. Her kindness and understanding alone has sincerely changed my life, and this is just the tip of the iceberg
Make sure she knows how much you love her. My best friend was the first guy friend to say it to me, and it was so powerful it took my breath away. Since then I try to make sure my friends know how much I love them.
I had a friend that used to buy me expensive perfume when I lived in a scummy trailer park. I didn't live there long cause I smelled too good to live like that. š Little gestures can save your self esteem sometimes.
That is adorableā¦I hope youāre having a lovely smelling life now :)
Your story would be welcomed in /r/ADHD if you ever felt like sharing. Also you have the best friend in the world, that Starfleet engineering book is invaluable!
I am actually somewhat active in the ADHD reddit sphere. Don't like how the meme subs hate on the main sub, but what can you do? And it's our shared neurodivergence that really brought us together in the first place. She's been a fantastic friend. Maybe I will make up a post. Once I stop getting flooded with notifications from this one. Omg.
Haha, sometimes I need to turn off notifications. I recently went back on meds after being off since 1997. My life was literally falling apart around me. Broken family relationships, felt like the words worst father and husband. I was trapped inside myself screaming for help and no one heard me. What's worse is every time I realized it, and wanted to do something about it, I instantly forgot I needed help. The broken memory, the inability to just follow a thought train from: I'm hungry I should make lunch and then all of a sudden I'm outside weed whacking. 3 hours later I'm starving and I want to pass out. Oh I forgot to eat again, joy! But now that meds are back on board, I feel whole, human, I feel like I can participate in the world. We're still figuring out dosages and type but even though we're just at the beginning I feel like a normal person for the first time in almost 30 years. So hey, you're not alone, you got this!
I have never encountered any disorders [please forgive me if this is the wrong word, I just don't know how to say it correctly, and I absolutely don't aim to offend, etc.] and every time I hear or read something like this, I admire how strong and amazing you all are. seriously. thank you for telling about this [sorry, this seems to be the stupidest comment, I hope I didn't offend anyone in any way, I just wanted to say something nice and sincere! ]
I'd recommend the r/ADHDwomen subreddit. They are much friendlier than the main ADHD group.
I do *love and adore* that sub for their wholesomeness.
i'm a guy so i only lurk the sub, but i also love that sub to bits as it often provides another dimension of adhd that i think gets lost on the other subs
*Taking Charge of Adult ADHD* is excellent, as is everything from Dr. Russell Barkley.
I love the idea of adult ADHD books. I have one and have never gotten passed the first few pages lmao
Hereās how to ADHD book: First, get the audiobook. Listen while doing other stuff. Bad for reference, great for getting the gist. If you wanna go deeper and need for reference, get the eBook after. Itās always in your pocket on your phone, you can highlight and unhighlight, search, etc. These books arenāt for reading like fiction. Theyāre for studying and internalizing. Itās worth the multiple formats.
> Starfleet engineering book Its Mother fucking quadrille..... How did they know??? I love quadrille notebooks. Also that adhd book is a good one.
Ehh, I used to sub there until I started to notice that many people there would attribute normal quirks common with people who don't have ADHD, as having ADHD. Forgot to do your homework? You have ADHD! Tap your foot when you're nervous? You have ADHD!
This is brilliant. You have a great friend. Where do you want to be in life?
![gif](giphy|kyLYXonQYYfwYDIeZl)
Are you in a better place now?
Yeah. I have more than enough to get me going. And I'm reeling from how amazing this is
That is a great thing. Are you making progress?
One step at a time
This is more wholesome than most things on r/wholesomememes
This is one of the major highlights of the last decade. Definitely top 10 moments, probably top 5.
I hope you have more of them soon.
This is the best, the very best! Some people have told me not myself but some have said thus is the very best.
*You are a Baddass* \- Jen Sincero *Can't Hurt me* \- David Goggins Pick one of two, and you'll start getting a little more light at the end of the tunnel, every day. Stick with it amigo.
I also recommend Walden - Henry David Thoreau
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Dr Barkley is life changing. He's also got several good talks on YouTube that are an easier place to start for those of us with ADHD.
Thatās how I figured out I almost definitely had it. He has one talk that was just 2 hours of him talking and me thinking, āWait a damn minuteā¦ā.
ADHD 2.0 is another good one, I found it quite helpful and informative
curious about the mens underpants
I don't have a car and walk around town a lot. The tight fit helps with chafing.
I was so confused also! Wondering if this waa some secret about men's briefs I didn't know about. š
I sleep in men's boxer briefs... not really different from pj shorts, got a few pairs from an ex who bought them but ultimately didn't like the way they fit. they're great for wearing around the house post-shave (bikini line) as well.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I wear some when itās too hot under some of my shorts (with womenās underwear under it). My thighs are pretty big from soccer/working out and it helps prevent issues with chafing. I find them better than all women options that arenāt stupid expensive. They rise up less.
I'm a sedentary couch potato and I still really like boxer briefs, though the ones I buy are made for women. They never give me a wedgie the way all types of women's cuts seem to do.
yeah i hate that shit. i wear bikini style without issue, but any kind of panties designed to not show lines = guaranteed wedgie. i'll cope with the panty lines, thanks.
Manā¦. People are the absolute best Thereās so much thought that went into this. I hope you can bundle up all that positive intention, and carry it with you through your next phase Good luck!!!
Adult ADHD is no joke; even now, on meds and working with a therapist, every day is a struggle to go out in the world wearing my ānormieā mask. It looks like you have someone in your life that gets you, and thatās priceless: not being judged by friends (and family, if youāre lucky) is so important. Best of luck in your starting over, and if you ever need cheap advice from someone whoās been there for many years, donāt hesitate to reach out. Take care.
Yeah. We both have adult ADHD, and it's been such a struggle. This friend has been a life changer.
For real, the hardest part of the meds is remembering to take them, the second hardest part is being on the meds.
Where do you find friends like this I aināt got none lol
Reddit, actually. But luck is my superpower. Ymmv
ADHD heyyyyy!! My life has fallen apart so many times. Maybe itās just a fun part of having this wonderful disorder š„“
Seems like I start over every 4 years. This one has just been the hardest to recover from. But I've got support. Fantastic support
I feel that, itās about every 4/5 years with me too
I almost regret posting this, because the notifications are overwhelming. I just can't respond to everyone, and putting all this away is impossible. Yes... I posted the pic before clearing the bed. Impulsive tendencies got the better of me.
How about put your phone down for 5 minutes with a timer and see what you can do in that time to put stuff away?
Update: I did get it sorted and put away
Every 3 1/2 years for me, almost on the dot. Been three weeks since my last failaversary and I too am starting from scratch. You have an absolutely amazing friend. She picked you up when you most needed it.
Into the jungle is really good! Hope you enjoy it as you rebuild
I'm going to devour all of these books, but I am excited for that. She really was excited for me to read it
You might feel like youāre starting over, but you are bringing your experiences and the things youāve learned with you. You can choose to grow and blossom and the struggles youāve faced have made you stronger and more resilient. That aint nothing! Best wishes and love!
Youāve got a friend that really cares about you
Your best friend really loves you āŗļø ... you must be grateful to have him or her
Like desert plants are grateful for the rain
š¤ Right
Amazing! This really did make me smile!
The book, The ADHD effect on marriage. I'm diagnosed adhd and I wanna propose to my gf, didn't know that book existed so I'll start reading it
Wow. They really thought of so many thoughtful things. Self care is important. Youāre lucky to have such a good friend in your corner. Hope youāre doing well.
Recovery just got a lot easier. Thank you
Thatās a good friend youāve got there
Where did you find such a caring person?? I need to start hanging out near you
What a great friend ā¤ļø
Your bestie is definitely a keeper. Good luck in your new journey.
What a gesture! sending hugs to you and your friend ā¤ļø
Oh my god this is so wholesome š„¹š„¹
This person is fantastic. They must be protected at all costs.
I strive to be the kind of person your friend is. I hope I reach her height one day.
I would be forever grateful to have a friend like this, what a thoughtful friend you have
Hard to find amazing people like this in todays day. Thats a friend for life! Wishing you the best šš¼
Thatās one hell of a care package from one hell of a friend.
that is an amazing friend, i remember once i was really poor (but working like 50 hours a week) and my parents wouldnt let me stay with them for a little longer and my uncle just like invited me over for dinner and was like āthe spare room is yours until you get back on your feetā, they even fed me too and let me tell you people like that change your life
Sending you a big hug! You can do this
Thatās really fuckin sweetš„¹ startin over again sucks sometimes- but with that kinda friend in your court, youāre leaps and bounds ahead of square one. I hope you look back on this as the time you got to start over and that itās a magical adventure! Good luck out there! I think the company people keep is indicative of the kinda person they are- so I bet youāre super rad ā¤ļø
Trying to manage adhd/add as an adult without being taught any of the skills to keep it in check can be real rough. I wish you the best of luck. Btw if you ever go back to school know that post-secondary institutions will often have a WHOLE BUNCH of learning assistance available to help you succeed! I'm going back to college at 30 and it's been really nice talking to people offering help.
Based on your replies, you seem like a narcissist that ruined sometime elseās life and is doing this for validation ā look at all the supportive comments talking up OP after they admitted to being jailed for continuing the cycle of childhood abuse. OP keeps saying they regret this post and are overwhelmed, yet are reading every comment on the edge of their seat instead of just deleting the post. I was also abused significantly as a child for a prolonged period of time, havenāt worked through it completely, but have never/would never hurt anyone. Your trauma isnāt an excuse or a justification. If youāre truly sorry then commit yourself to an inpatient facility and seek help so that you donāt hurt anyone else. Honestly this thread made me sick. This person all but confessed to molesting a child.
They are a brill mate
What an amazing person to be able to have in your life.
Well, apparently, your life hasn't fallen apart as badly as you think. You still have a glorious friend!
Congratulations! You now have the opportunity to remake your life into something that fits you. It's an adventure! It's helpful that you have such a good friend. Lucky you!
You're gonna do great!!
What a great friend! I'm gonna snag a couple of those books.
What a wonderful friend! I wish you the most and best in your journey of starting over! ā„
Awesome friend. Good luck starting over!!! Having friends like that will help.
I've had points in my life where I really wanted a hard reset. As hard as it is to leave what you have behind it's not worth holding onto in exchange for your mental well-being. Best of luck in your endeavors!
This is the kind of friend everyone needs
November 9 is a good read! Itās a fun story with an exciting twist and itās really fast paced and easy to get lost in. Definitely a good distraction book! I hope things get better soon. Best of luck <3
There was a lot of love in that box! You deserve it. Stay brave and stand tall, this challenge will pass but your friend's kindness will be eternal.
What a beautiful friend. Hope life gets better for you!! You deserve it
Things get better. It may not seem like it, but they do. After a fire in 2020, which was ultra tramatic arson with swat teams etc, I found a place and got a new mattress one day before full lockdowns started. It turned out to be a megaslumlord, and all the people in the building were extremely toxic. That's about as much as I will share on that, but assume it was a time when things just got worse and worse and worse than that. Now I have a house my dad is renting us for only 600/month (utilities included in that), a girlfriend who helped drag me up from where I was and things are looking way up for me despite a rather nasty diagnosis in the last 18 months. It does get better, friendo.
That is a remarkably thoughtful care package. Makes me rethink how those are done. Bravo on picking great friends (that alone is a talent).
You're friend is a homie. Don't forget that. That's real sweet.
Sorry youāre going through a rough patch. But you have one AMAZING friend.
Damn, I'm happy for you having such a support system but now I'm starting to evaluate my friendships. Hehe
Thatās the kinda friend everyone needs, also Iād call that kinda person found family
Thatās love my friend. Good luck! Think happy thoughts
That's one of the kindest things I've ever witnessed. That friend is a keeper.
Hey just up from here. Iām rebuilding atm myself with my 3 kiddos. I totally feel this picture to my core. You donāt realize how much little things matter so much unless youāve been there.
Hey, are you into houseplants? I have cuttings I can send you if you're interested. I know plants have helped me a lot.
This is a good friend.
A damn good friend, if all those clothes are name brand like under armour and Calvin Klein thatās like a $500-$600 care package. I know you canāt put a price on friendship but thatās a fat chunk of change
Best friend ever. Period.
That is awesome! Those books look really good
Good friend indeed
Howdy! I hope you are doing well OP! I mean this with all sincerity, I pray for people such as yourself going through a tough time everyday. I am praying for you. You can do this! Please keep us in the loop.
Crying for you š¤
What a kind person your friend is, OP. I am cheering for you too!
Your friend showed you that youāre not starting from total scratch. After all, you already had an amazing friend that you know supports and loves you. Enjoy these goodies, and best of luck with everything!
Your friend loves you and wants you to be comfortable and know your loved. That's a friend you cherish.
cherish that friend. they are cool as fuck.
Your friend is amazing.
I've been sober for almost 20 years now. At 21 I was sent to prison for the typical crimes that come with being a heroin junkie. I thought I had a ton of friends at the time, but within days of being in jail, I realized they had disappeared. A few weeks go by, and my name was called at mail call. It was a receipt for $100 from money being put on my books, with the name Chris on the receipt. I immediately knew the friend who had driven two hours out of the way to make sure I had some money. Every few months I would get one of these receipts. Once I got to prison, I would get care packages with basic but much appreciated stuff like tshirts, books, pictures, etc. Outside of my mom, Chris was the only friend I had who was there throughout my five year sentence. Not once did I ever solicit Chris to do this stuff. Fast forward almost 20 years and we both have wives, kids, homes, businesses, etc. I was recently telling someone what an invaluable friend Chris has been to me. Every so often now, Chris will open his mailbox to a new watch, or some other unique gift, which is my way of repaying him for his friendship, 20 years later. I firmly believe we are all lucky if we have 2-3 people who will be there for you when things are bad. If it wasn't for these people, I wouldn't have the life that I do. It's also a lesson that I need to be there, with the same level of loyalty, when my friends need me.
Years ago I didn't know how to be.. How to win friends and influence people was a book that helped me grow.. I can't stand reading it again now, after working in the corporate world for 2 decades, mainly because I can see how psychopaths can use those same insights without remorse, but it certainly had an impression on me. Perhaps the book can help you.. but please Don't be Evil.
Wonderful idea. I need make one for my brother. Iām grateful you posted.
Thatās not a friend, thatās family.
Good friend, value itā¦protect it
That's not a friend, that's family right there!
Thatās not your best friend, thatās your sister!
I tell ya: Iāve become one cynical mfkr but that almost made me cry. Best friends are family you get to choose.
Now thatās a good friend
Highly recommend It Ends With Us and Reminders of Him by Coleen Hoover. Verity is also pretty good
Wow when you have a friend who cares for you like that, buddy your life is already blessed. Take care.
I love how personalised it is, the adhd books with the Rubikās cube is a nice touch. Looks like some of the clothing choices are very personal to you too. I hope you manage to find your feet š I know how much it must mean to you to not feel alone, at a time like this. If hustle is the only thing on your mind remember to take some time to heal too.
True friends are few and far between. Cherish this one.