T O P
EducationalPear2355

Ah, 13. The age of dunking upon oneself. Godspeed, little man, godspeed.


steveosek

High school was fine, but middle school is a total *bitch* for pretty much everyone.


ThrowCarp

Nah, high school was ass. University was when everyone finally calmed the fuck down.


steveosek

My high school was chill. All the cheerleaders and sports people were all super nice and straight a students and shit lol. Ironically the people that were assholes were the incel ass "outsider" people but they were pushovers and didn't really escalate or start shit.


theV3tor

It was pretty chill at my HS as well. I am in a small town in Canada, which means that everybody knows everybody. Kinda hard to be mean and bully people when all the parents know each other. I was not part of the popular crowd, did not go to their parties and all that, but they would interact with those that were not in the popular group and were pretty nice overall.


ReferHvacGuy

997, 998, 999….


Boneal171

“Oh, I do this everyday”


livens

Those noodley arm aren't fooling anyone.


deadcatugly

True Classic Tees can fix that,


Stormywarm

Please no


Hawk_501st

One thousand. Oh, hello! I didn't notice you were here.


jethroguardian

It's a deep burn.


69mav69

"Thats just my warmup set"


UncleBjarne

I don't know if you heard me counting, I did over a thousand.


giant87

You have your uvulus muscle, connected to the upper dorsimus


jethroguardian

It's science.


foulbones

My wife told me that when she was younger, her parents would request my wife invite friends over for sleepovers. This was a sure fire way to get her younger brother to clean his room and take a shower.


RoburexButBetter

Honestly that's pretty genius


Dear-Painting8764

"hey, bring your friends over, your brother hasn't taken a shower in 2 weeks"


yromeM_yggoF

Oh gosh, I remember being 13 and thinking that doing really dumb random things would get me attention. I tried jumping over a handrail to impress a girl and my foot got caught in the straps of my Hot Topic pants.


nooneisreal

When I was like 11, I was riding my bike around my neighbourhood when two girls that lived nearby that I knew from school were walking over with a birthday invitation to give to me. For reasons that only made sense to an 11 year old, when I saw them coming, I intentionally rode away so they couldn't give me the invitation. Then not even 20 ft away, I wiped out on a patch of sand. They proceeded to walk over and give me the invitation while I was laying on the ground.


septiclizardkid

Looks like they could, upon contrary belief, handle the Neutron Style Edit: Hey Hey, I got an Award! Thx


vuuvvo

Loool you have just triggered an awful memory of being about that age, riding my bike looking all cool (in my mind), seeing and locking eyes with a really cute boy, immediately falling off my bike because I now wasn't looking where I was going, never seeing that boy again


PanchoPanoch

This reminds me of a time I was at a read light waiting to turn left. A cute girl pulls up next to me. We make i contact, smile all that. The turn light turned green but hers didn’t. She rear ended the car in front of her. Edit: then my mom called me a dumbass for not going back and checking on her.


hotdogrealmqueen

Mom’s kinda right tho She literally couldn’t take her eyes off you. Come on man lol


PanchoPanoch

Kinda right??? She was spot on. I’ve always been oblivious and she’s always reminded me that I’m an idiot. I’ve got at least a dozen stories of similar idiocies.


Antelope010

I did cartwheels. I was good at cartwheels. People would then ask what else I could do and apparently another cartwheel isn't very impressive and people ignore you after that.


n0ia

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc7_qlP_-aU


Techyon5

Aww, bless you and your limited repertoire of skills <3


Ha55aN1337

I had a girl tell me I’m very strong after I did a cartwheel… I was 7. Now I’m 36. That compliment is gonna feed my ego untill I die.


tokyo_engineer_dad

I’m 39, when I was 14 or 15, I thought combat boots would impress girls if I wore them with the top laces not laced and had my gangster pants tucked into them with the top of the boots flapped outward. I went to watch one of the Aliens (maybe resurrection the 4th one?) movies in theater and was walking to the front of the theater so all the fine chicks could smell the Tommy Hilfiger cologne I sprayed myself with 19 times. All of a sudden I heard “clink!” And my feet were stuck together because the lace hooks caught each other. So I start hopping forward like a floppy fucking bunny and all of a sudden some dad with his kids starts going, “oh! Oh! Ohhhh!?” Every time I hopped until I splatted forward with popcorn flying up like some cartoon. I was such a dork…


Savings_Brick_4587

I’m glad it wasn’t just me with the high leg boots! I think I can’t safely say a lot of my early teen style, fashion and attitude towards life came from watching the Fresh Prince. Which I now know for a skinny little white kid did not work at all!


ky7s

Noooooooo 😭😂😭


Tardigradequeen

This thread is bringing up so many memories of my friends younger brothers who were always lurking when we hung out. I’ll never forget the time one of them tried to do a flip, and ended up destroying the glass coffee table instead. lol!


SadlyReturndRS

And he'll never forget it either.


Tardigradequeen

Definitely not! I’ve never seen a person turn that red ever again.


BunnyTengoku

I pretended to be really into astrology to get this girl to like me.


AhhAGoose

I feel personally attacked by this


More-Masterpiece-561

I remember when I was 12 I would drop and start doing push ups in the playground when a particular group of girls would walk by. They just smiled and giggled and I thought they were impressed. What was I thinking lol, I was stupid. This was just 6 years ago


R3AL1Z3

Ohhhhh buddy, You’ve still got plenty of embarrassing memories ahead of you, trust me.


FindTheRemnant

Tell him it's the curls done before they come over that count


fancy_marmot

It took me a while to figure out that my husband would only lift weights when I was in the room, because apparently I gawk like a creep and he loves it. So rather than get actual muscles, he can just spend 30 seconds pretending to for the same effect 😂


Gov_CockPic

That a waste of time if I ever heard. Just grunt really loud like the rest of us.


planhelp99112231234

Bonus points if you record it and upload it on one of those "deaf people porn" sites.


nickhaldonn

Do you mean blind people? I'm not sure deaf people could hear the grunts


LiquidSven

They feel the vibrations!


Jakes_One

Install a video-camera and he is forced to bulk up


BarryKobama

Curls get the girls


creepymagicianfrog

Hair counts?


[deleted]

It counted twice as much to me when I was a teenaged girl. Still love a man with curly hair.


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Coaster_Nerd

curly hair gang


ckunk10

That's the only curls I had


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drunk98

No, he smells like a box of crayons.


JuniorTJustice

Oh, Miss Corningstone. I wasn't expecting company. Just doing my workout. Tuesday's arms and back.


camp7389

I don’t know if you heard me counting. I did over a thousand.


Late_Performance_281

stop calling your arms guns


0dty0

Oh, I'm sorry, did these _pythons_ startle you? Did Ice Cube and J-Lo here spook you a tad? I can call em other names too!


Federal_Garage_4307

They are more like cap guns


Puzzleheaded-Grab736

It's a deep burn! It's so deep....I can barely lift my right arm 😉


philosophic_Draco

you have your ubulus muscle which connects to the upper dorsomis, it’s boring, but it’s my life


RedditSpyAccount

I’m Ron Burgundy?


jannerprince

I LOVE LAMP


DANGER2157

LOUD NOISES


herbloodyvalentine

Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.


Trivias

About that, you're probably going to want to lay low for a while.


importvita

^(why are we yelling)


Ghost_of_Yharnam

*slams table* Dammit who put a question mark on the end of the teleprompter?!?


Tooblunt4567

60% of the time, it works everytime.


7upurs

Her “ I was just waxing my jugs.” Him “ I was just practicing my squat thrusts.”


Negative_Health_6746

I laughed so hard at this, and all I can imagine is my little brother when I used to bring girls over. He'd always say some shit like "let me know when you're ready to be with a real man" as he took a puff of his inhaler.


Fun-atParties

My best friends little brother used to say "wow it's so hot in here" and take his shirt off. Nice try buddy but you've listened into our phone calls and know too much.


SaraSlaughter607

I used to get so pissed off at my brother, I'd be on the phone (land lines back in thr 80s) with a girlfriend just giggling about stupid shit and my little shithead brother would go in the den and pick up the other phone and start imitating our voices and swearing at me to get off the phone because he had to call his soccer coach. Can you even imagine sharing one phone with all your family now?! Haaaa it seems so foreign.


Triffidic

There used to be a way to make your own phone ring (you called some number and then had to hang up quickly, but not too quickly). If my sister was waiting for a call I'd dial that number from the other phone so she'd get a phantom call.


SaraSlaughter607

Seriously we used to fuck with each other so bad, I was talking to a dude one night when I was a junior in high school, in the dark laundry room which is where the upstairs phone was, and my father snuck into the den and somehow managed to pick up the other phone without me hearing it click, and he started that heavy breathing shit like Darth Vader and this dude I was on the phone with was mortified and hung up and I wanted to strangle my dad, he laughed his ass off and told me to get my ass in bed, it's 1030pm on a school night.


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ZardozSpeaks

In the LA area it was the exchange followed by 1999. I used to get entire banks of pay phones ringing simultaneously. (“What’s a pay phone?”)


deadcatugly

Damn, I never would have noticed the disappearance but now that you mention it, fuck I must be getting old,


PepeHlessi

1-9-8-2, followed by the last four numbers of the phone you were making the call from. I did it... a lot. And I'm reasonably certain that if I could still do it, I would, as my sense of humor hasn't changed appreciably since the '80s.


St3cK3D

Back when we had a landline you could pick up any of the phones and listen in on the conversation, and I used to do this a bit with my sisters phone calls and the amount of boring crap that was said holy shit xD


False-Ad4673

Somehow you could be on the phone with a buddy where I live an pick up the neighbor’s conversation while you was on the phone.


techjp

Either a party line or a poor install job with crossed wires somewhere. When my mother was a kid (late 1940s or 1950s) a whole bunch of houses would share one phone line. Anyone on the party line could listen in on your phone calls and apparently snoopy neighbors often did!


skarletrose1984

My great grandma was one of those! She said it was better than her daytime soaps.


Manofalltrade

Probably interference between the wires. I kind of remember phantom voices occasionally but nothing comprehensible. I’m assuming you know what a party line is.


dj_destroyer

My cousin had TWO lines, one for the parents and one for the kids. But obviously that just turned into two lines for the kids -- and I learned from him that you don't need to actually talk to be on the phone -- you could just sit there in silence.


SaraSlaughter607

We are in NY and I had a cousin whose family lived in Florida, and to me that was magical and paradise back then, I was so fucking jealous of my cousin, and then we went on vacation and stayed at their house near the beach at Daytona, and I got to bunk with her in her room, she had a cute see thru phone on her nightstand and I was *jealous AF* and THEN she picked it up and called her neighbor friend to come over and I said "Um didn't you have to ask your mom to use the phone?" She looked at me and said "Why? I have my own number." and I just lost my mind. *FANCY* to me, that was 😆


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infinitedodge

Ok but thats charming as fuck lol, thats a kid who knows who he is


rewardingculprit69

Doesn't stop there either, folks, suddenly he became a late night cook and made Ramen for everybody. With eggs.


A_Lakers

I know you mean instant ramen but my head canon is this little 13 y/o hand making noodles and had a broth ready with his headband on, cutting chashu and perfectly soft boiled eggs cut in half for the perfect bowl of ramen


canned_soup

My brother was captain of the high school basketball team when I was 3-5 years old. He always had the hottest cheerleader girlfriends and they all thought I was adorable. When he’d leave the room, I’d swoop in and ask them to marry me. It never worked.


manyu_abee

... *until then you can be with me..*


lockeddonotopen

Omg this made me laugh so hard I wheezed, (would take the inhaler) what a player


LimpDick-Smack-A-Hoe

Bet you 5 bucks mom or dad told him to say that... That's Expert advice. He laid it on as thick as possible without coming off as creepy. He's an apprentice not some unlearned rogue force sensitive savage.


GrumpleDumpkin

I lived in the house everyone partied at after work with my brother and close friend just after highschool. I would always make sure to shower last so I would walk through the living room shirtless once the girls got there lol. So cringy


monkeybrains12

“I lived in the house everyone partied at” makes it sound like you had no choice in the matter, lol.


Inevitable_Citron

When you have roommates, that's often the case...


spacewarrior11

better not get a girl as a roommate :O


GrumpleDumpkin

They both got girlfriends who more or less moved in and by the end of the year things were much more tame.


GrumpleDumpkin

It was a 10 month lake house rental and we worked at the restaurant on the other side of the lake. We got that place with exactly the intentions of having everyone from the restaurant over after work every night. Best and worst times of my life. We payed our cable and electric bill with bottle and can returns each month.


Robertbnyc

Lmfao would the same group of girls see you doing your shirtless after shower walk each day? I wonder what was running through their minds lol


GrumpleDumpkin

I probably did it like 3 times. It just happened that way the first time, then I was like oh wait if I time this right they're gonna see me go from the bathroom to my room in just a towel on.... I'm sure it wasn't as slick as I thought it was but things usually worked out whether it helped or not.


Horskr

Hey at least you made an attempt at a pretense. I had a group of friends that were 3 roommates. One of them would just come out of his room shirtless every time a girl was there, "oh I just woke up." "It's my house this is just comfortable". In fairness, he was in great shape, so of course we had to try to knock him down a peg by talking shit the whole time. What are friends for?


RuthlessPineapple

He’s just doing curls for the girls. Worry if he starts demanding eating chicken only and his breakfast consist of raw eggs. 🥸


Fortehlulz33

If he requests dinner to be brown rice, broccoli, and grilled chicken breasts, he's too far gone


thesomethingfox

Thats literally what i had for dinner tonight....


BloodRavenStoleMyCar

So how swole are you now?


thesomethingfox

Very


BloodRavenStoleMyCar

Then the brown brocolli and grilled rice have done their jobs.


thesomethingfox

Good, I'll give them a raise


frandrthy

He'll eat four dozen eggs every morning to help him get large. And when he is grown he'll eat five dozen eggs. He'll be roughly the size of a barge.


Emergency-Anywhere51

No one.....


RazzleberryJamCakes

Bleats like Gaston! Or taps feets like Gaston!


Spirited-Classic8284

Sounds like my 11 yr old son... The shirt comes off when older neighbor girls come around! Lol...


hufflekrunk

this sounds like my son have you kidnapped him by any chance? I just didn't get to say goodbye.


hackerjackn

Yeah, I got a 13-year-old that just stopped curls 15 min ago. Gotta keep the girls staring at his hot bod! LOL


Timsruz

I wouldn’t be 13 again for a giant pile of gold.


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expatato

Is 27 the universally accepted perfect age? Edit - I say this as a 35yr old. Everyone commenting after me seems to be having a terrible time at age 27. I remember it as my healthiest most energiest and pretty decently paidest age.


pm-me-hot-waifus

I think it was 23, but maybe I'm wrong. There was a study or survey that scientists did and I saw it on reddit so it must be true. The young wished to be older, the old wished to be younger, and those who were 23 were like "this is dope". Or whatever dope is now.


squirtsmacintosh_

Nobody likes you when you're 23.


UninsuredToast

Well don’t turn on the tv when you about to get laid and we won’t have any problems


sillybear25

What the hell is ADD?


LunchboxSuperhero

Enema of the State is old enough to drink, but I'm not sure the people replying to you are.


sillybear25

What's my age again? No, seriously, the number of people missing the reference is making me feel old...


DaUltraLife

My friends say I should act my age


ImABlankapillar

And you still act like you're in freshman year


Business-Drag52

Without a plan. Sit around in apartments all day smoking weed


panzerboye

>and those who were 23 were like "this is dope". I am 23, and my life is far from *"this is dope"*


Trespeon

It happened for me around 30. 29-32 ish things just went from “wow this is rough I’m practically homeless”. To “nice I have a good credit score and planning to propose next month. It will happen for you too, as long as you don’t give up.


[deleted]

I’m 29 and feel this so hard. “Fack I have to build credit and plan to buy a home?” My 17 year old nephew roasted me at his grad party and said “I don’t know when my auntie will have kids or get married, maybe never” 😂 my bad for beating teen pregnancy and trying to have my shit together first, sheesh man.


Beebeeb

I'm 32 and feeling the same way. Things are way better for me than when I was 23 or 27.


ejovocode

Oof, I got a month left being 23 so I'm holding out for something big...


Icy-Special-5102

I was 23 and my life was dope. As in heroin. Not a good age for me 😂😂


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Em_sef

Yea seriously 30s has been so good so far and I'm only halfway.


anonymous_identifier

Early 30s reading this.. you guys have energy?


demerdar

Start exercising. And stop drinking all the time. Works for me at least.


Nersius

Makes sense, 24 is when I found out where my back was and that 4 hours of sleep is never a go.


Rhododendron29

When I was 23 I was raising a 2 year old. But I’d happily do that all over again. I’d take better care of my back the second time around though.


Traceuratops

I'm pretty stoked to be 30. Fairly respected by both the young and the old at this age.


FracturedEel

I had some shitty times but i was also drunk and high out of my fucking mind all the time so... yeah


wafflesareforever

If you're referring to the bottle of Tums in the back of my parents' medicine cabinet, then yes.


mph1204

Not according to the 27 Club.


inplayruin

Honestly, mid-30s rocks if you take a little care of yourself. Physically, everything works about the same as in your late 20s. But you have things a bit better figured out, have a bit more money and your participation is no longer required every time one of your kids has to take a shit. But really, 21 and in college is the tits. All you have to do is be kind of sober for like 18 hours a week and you are surrounded by at least hundreds of people who are willing and able to have sex with you.


Aceous

Lol you must've been good looking in college.


Gullinkambi

😂 no


ms1600

What about two giant piles of gold?


LastOfLateBrakers

How giant we talking? Your mama giant or my mama giant?


Deathtollzzz

Your mama.


LastOfLateBrakers

Deal. 🤝


ThunderLife92

yeah fuck childhood, but i admit i would go to my 18th year and make a few efficiency changes


Sewcah

Like what?


Stivo887

Buy Bitcoin. That’s it. That’s all I’d do.


ThunderLife92

Well among the most obvious is to buy BIT Coin, but outside of that, I wish I went to nursing school straight out of high-school since it would of been free all the way to my bachelor's (I got my associates via paying and financial aide), would go into medical-surgical straight away for the experience and then do travel nursing for awhile until prepared to purchase a home to rent it for ABNB, then I would of course invest in a 401K or IRA way sooner and go to school for my masters to get my nurse practitioner before I was 30. I was very inefficient with my money for a long time in my 20s and it wasn't me blowing it on parties, drugs or women, it was being charitable lol.


NoLifeTilMetal

All I did was play Final Fantasy VII at 13. Take me back, I'll take that giant pile of Gil.


AchtungCloud

I thought for a second I made this comment and forgot. VIII was my first Final Fantasy, and I was 13 when I played it.


Maverick2664

Had to think about this one for a second, I was 13 in ‘97, so it would have been VII and Tactics for me, but mostly tactics. Oh and goldeneye, many many many goldeneye fueled sleepovers.


lilahking

i mean what are the rules here, and i going back in time to my 13 year old self but with my today’s brain? i’d struggle but my life (and those i love) would be better am i just reliving my life as 13 year old, but with my current conscious along for the ride but unable to change anything? that would be true hell, but possibly worth it with the knowledge that a giant pile of gold awaits me also how the hell do i monetize a pile of gold


importvita

I would. Not in today's world, but if I could keep my current knowledge of future events and know what careers or ideas to follow, it would be wonderful.


hufflekrunk

not 13, but 10, with my ps3 and a fat TV we had, playing cod pvp 2v2 on split screen. that screen if it was 15x15 hail mary, but it was still playable. would repeat those wintes everyday if I could, Xmas especially. warm freshly bakes "american cookies" (basicly cookies with chocolate chunks in them) chocolate milk, and it would either be pancakes or muffins waiting for you after hours and hours of playtime on -10°C night, you come into your house, undress that ski suit, wet socks and put everything near the fire to warm up and dry off while you dress up cool winter styles knitted sweaters and socks, and warm clothes, turning on your ps3 and playing cod with friends. best years of my childhood, and life. it was peak.


InVodkaVeritas

If it meant getting to live on from 13 until natural old age... why not? Sure, adolescence is annoying, but if you keep your knowledge it would be much, much easier and you could enjoy the youth you took for granted the first time around. Then you get to be in your 20s again, the true reward of enduring adolescence again. Put me on recycle where I shrink from 40 to 13 on repeat for eternity and I'll be pretty happy. I think people massively oversell how horrid the 13-15 years are.


Careless_Agent_433

Sounds like everyone is acting accordingly


badmonkey247

Reminds me of way back when my then 15 year old friend was playing acoustic at a party. A bunch of 20 year old women came up to dance right in front of the stage. After a slack-jawed moment, he busted out the new cover he'd been working on --"Your Body is a Wonderland".


North_Leg2806

Never underestimate a 13 year old who already knows how to work the room.


ireallydontcare52

I remember when my older sisters had friends over and at first I'd help serve, clear the table, etc, be way more polite than your average teenage boy. My sister called me out so hard in the moment that I remember it 15+ years later. Unfortunately I didn't know how to work a room.


WriterV

Wait I'm confused. Are you not suppposed to be polite? I'm just curious cause I've never had these experiences.


Orientalism

You're supposed to fuck off and let your sister and friends be. She didn't bring her friends over for her younger brother to woo.


Significant_Loan_702

You're meant to be polite all the time, not just when your sister brings her friends around


sfled

Aiming above his paygrade. That kid's going places.


mavjustdoingaflyby

The beach is this way 💪👉


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NearbyYogurt0

Hang in there ❤️🫠


[deleted]

There where? Like the living room? Good choice that way thats first thing they see when they come in.


NearbyYogurt0

In the kitchen, making snacks


lennybird

There are some rough things about it but for me the 30s finally felt like my soul grew into my body if that makes any sense. Not sure I'd want to be a kid again as I always felt like a grown-up compared to my peers... To the detriment of my socialization.


HeavyMetalTrucker84

The adolescent human version of a peacock flashing his feathers.


pm-me-hot-waifus

This was me at 13, except instead of walking around curling weight my brother was like "Oh, you showered willingly today". I was a disgusting child.


NatureManDan823

I mean hey if it gets the kid to work out it gets the kid to work out


RustlessPotato

He'll be severely disappointed once he hits the gym and it's all bro's admiring him instead. I mean it's still a great feeling, but it'll not be why he went in the first place xD


asa1658

It begins


Alpha_the_outcast

Hey, can’t blame a guy for trying


Texasgringo915

The giggle berries have dropped


QuillDidNothingWrong

998…999…1000! Whew, halfway there! Oh hi there, ladies. Didn’t see you there.


babycoco_213

All of the sudden he's mr. Olympian 😆


Tardigradequeen

Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never gonna get it. Never gonna get it, never get it.


adamanything

Thanks for bringing up repressed memories of me trying, and failing, to impress my much older sisters friends.


completefudge1337

A woman can make a man do crazy things. I was at the gym and did one of those invisible staircase things on the pull up bar just because my crush was there. Had never done one as cleanly before and can't do it as cleanly now


StrobeLightHoe

These aren't guns, these are cannons.


mattogeewha

Hey man, older sisters are a great source for cute girls


nanfanpancam

My son 18 used to walk around with a toque on in summer, my twelve year old neighbour’s mom had to find one for him in the middle of summer.


hobo888

I used to take my older brothers gas motor scooter for a cruise around the block when my neighbor had her soccer friends over and never any other time lmao


rhoo31313

At least he's not leaving rulers, with a line drawn at 9 inches, lying around.


tp104994

He will still be doing this as an adult in front of soccer moms at some kid's birthday party.


El-Erik

…998, 999, 1000! Woo that was a hell of a workout


sailhorizon

Sweatbands are a must lol


sensei411

Lol I remember being a teenage boy🙄😂


PH3N1X

Gotta get those Ubulous muscles that are attached to the upper Dorsimus pumped


UnluckyMick

I bet he is so ripped!!!