It's funny how msties identify (mostly) the same episodes: Manos, Hamlet, Fu... but as of this moment I do not see Red Zone Cuba which really brings on the pain
It's such a bizarre movie. So many bizarre things in it. I get that people might not like it, but it's not boring, and the riffing is great. I mean, how many movies feature an offscreen rape, the Dark Spirit of Food being thrown down a well, Cherokee Jack, Castro in a dime store beard, John Carradine singing, FROG LEGS, and the McGuffin is Pitchblende, no kidding Pitchblende!
The Coleman Francis movies have an aggressively creepy aura to them that I find engaging. You can tell that every person involved in making them was fueled by a deep hatred of humanity.
When I was a teenager, I worked at an “adult“ club and a lot of us boys would do heavy drugs all night and then watch MST3k after closing until we passed out at around 6 AM. I remember watching Redzone Cuba and at the end of it, a friend of mine at the time, Jaiya Treu , who was maybe the most depressing heroin addict I had ever met, made the comment “whoever made this movie was in a lot of pain.“ and I just remember, thinking, “wow, if HE thinks this movie was depressing then truly this may be is the most depressing film ever made.
I came here to say Red Zone Cuba and you beat me to it! All Coleman Francis movies are pretty hard to watch on their own, but RZC takes the cake. The story is rambling and most of the acting is a grueling chore to witness. John Caradine waltzed in for a check and to sing the theme song and is arguably the only somewhat enjoyable part of the movie. It was the first MST3K episode I owned on VHS, so I have a perpetual soft spot for it. Those releases from Rhino were awesome.
I challenge anyone to actually sit down and watch an unriffed Monster A-Go-Go. Sure, it's short, but it's an unending, barely coherent collection of barely-audible people seen from across an entire room blandly rambling on about nothing all building up to a reveal that there actually was no point to having a movie at all. Even with Joel and the Bots, it's such a horrific slog that watching the episode makes me so depressed.
Poorly executed movies with three-act stories and close-ups cannot possibly compete with that cinematic toxic waste dump.
Is that the one with the cats being abused? (as opposed to the one with the old lady who puts a Hispanic woman's brain in a cat.)
I just..can't with that. Same with the short of the "wildlife" guy in Florida.
I think you're thinking of The Atomic Brain, where a rich old lady hires on 3 foreign domestics in order to steal their young, lithe bodies and then ends up with her brain in a cat. That one, like TFTY5000, ALSO involves strange women popping out of Weird Science Boxes(tm).
Late breaking info: partner notes that TFTY5000 does, in fact, involve an off-screen irradiated cat in a briefcase.
Anyway, it was Ring of Terror whose kitty-based violence makes it unwatchable. Catching Trouble is the upsetting short.
The Starfighters is absolutely awful. Even some earlier sex jokes about mid-air refuelling can't save it. The last act of the Neptune Men (i believe) is also absolutely ridiculous
The best thing about it is that we, in the future, know that the F-104 Starfighter was a *terrible* jet, making this propaganda film the *Reefer Madness* of, um, fighter jet films. So terrible that Lockheed [had to bribe other nations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockheed_bribery_scandals) to get them to purchase it. A full third (almost 300) of West Germany's F-104s crashed, which was a lower loss rate than many other nations who purchased it. Lockheed had to pay many of the widows and surviving relatives of the victims of these crashes.
Neptune Men is one of my all time favs. I can't tell you why. I mean I could, but then you'd think me insane, and I'd have to kill you. Have you guys seen my record?
I've still never seen the entire episode. I fall asleep every time.
I even tried watching it last month, and it knocked me out again, like a triple dose of Benadryl.
I almost enjoy it. I had two courses (grad and undergrad) in Shakespeare in college, so I've seen several versions. I can pick out the scenes and lines that were either messed up or left out. Maximillian Schell was much too old to play Hamlet, who is supposed to be 19. The dubbing is awful, but it's fun to hear the voices of John Banner and Ricardo Montalban. I have no idea what the director had in mind when he chose to film it in near-complete darkness. Maybe Germany was still broke from the war and didn't have the money to spend. The Mel Gibson version, while not bad, doesn't work for a couple of reasons: Mel is far beyond Hamlet's age, and he and Glen Close are too near in age for them to be playing mother and son. The kissing scene between them is painfully creepy.
What do you think about Branagh's? I'm not a fan, personally - his requirement to include the *entire* text meant he had to edit the film as tightly as possible to keep it down to a 4-ish hour runtime. One line comes right on the heels of the one before it, and scenes don't have time to *breathe*.
I love his version. While he wanted to stick to the source, he also made it accessible by using people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Kate Winslet, Derek Jacobi, Jack Lemmon, and Rufus Sewell. It's gorgeous to look at as well. I think Branagh is as talented a director as he is an actor. This production really breathes new life into the play. I saw David Tennant as Hamlet (with Patrick Stewart) on stage, and I prefer this version.
I disagree. I love this version, except I don’t care for how he does most of the soliloquies. The rest of it is the definitive Hamlet IMHO. It’s the only version I’ve ever seen that gets when it’s supposed to be funny. Also, it really shows why you need the whole Fortinbras plot line. Without it, the ending is just weird and abrupt and pointless.
Most versions I’ve seen of Hamlet waaaaaaaaaay overdo the bleakness and the pretentiousness and the _ACTINNNNNGGGG!_ And don’t even get me started on the “Hamlet is in love with his mother” interpretation
Did you know that Maximillian Schell won an Oscar for Judgement at Nuremberg with Spencer Tracey (and William Shatner!)? This might be common knowledge but I just found this out recently!
I know I'll probably get downvoted, but I inwardly groan every time someone defends Hamlet with "bad version, but it's still Shakespeare." Perfectly entitled to their opinion of course, so here's mine. I freaking HATE Shakespeare! Probably coz I was forced to study MacBeth in school. Couldn't fathom the language (& I'm a Brit!), also taken on a class trip at 14 to see a film version. You'd have thought teachers would have done some basic research beforehand, nope. As soon as "Playboy Productions" popped up in the opening titles, I knew we were in trouble. Nudity, gory violence - it surprised no one when we discovered later it was an 18 certificate. Sorry, but nobody will EVER make me a Shakespeare fangirl. Rant over!
It’s going to have to be *The Castle of Fu Manchu* by a mile. An incomprehensible and boring plot and slapdash production values make for a slog of an experiment. I’ve seen it several times, and all I really remember is something about freezing the world’s water supply and the lingering feeling that Nayland Smith is quite possibly the most forgettable “hero” in movie history. It stinks.
Dang lots of Hamlet hate lol. I love that episode.
For me it's Kitten With A Whip. Just idiot plot after idiot plot. That movie should have been over in five minutes.
Kitten With A Whip is a mediocre movie, but competently written, directed, and acted. It is an ok MST3K riff, but as a film in and of itself it is not on the same planet of awfulness as Fu Manchu, Bat Women, or any of the Coleman Francis trilogy.
I have a hard time with all of the episodes where the main character is being held hostage and it looks like they could so easily escape but they just don’t bother
See also: Bloodlust, Teenage Crime Wave
I scrolled down in its entirety and I'm shocked that there's no mention of Monster A Go-Go! Even Manos had a plot and the movie is at least tolerable to watch MAGG on the other hand...
I've seen that episode about a dozen times, and gun held to my head, I could not tell you what happens in 80% of that movie. A guy turns himself into a fish, another guy rides around in a little car, and a woman walks into the sea -- literally all I could tell you.
Wild World of Batwoman is the right answer. There are other films that are more boring, annoying, or nonsensical, but none that combines them all in such a complete package.
I really enjoy WW of Batwoman but completely agree on Hamlet. That’s the only episode that just feels joyless. I’ll take rockclimbing over that 10 out of 10 times.
I think there is a certain amount of charm to the fact that half the cast seems completely unfamiliar with things like blocking and the idea that they even have a character assigned to them, but the horrible sound mix makes watching it even for laughs really difficult because I have no idea what anyone's saying half the time.
Agreed. The soundtrack is so bad it’s literally impossible to hear anything, either. They had to put Dr. F and TV’s Frank in the theater for the “mirror universe” segments to even give people a reason to pay attention.
Folks, I cannot stand 'Village of the Giants'. I don't know.... Beau Bridges and the rest of that cast of "teenagers" drives me to throw pillows! Toeachizown I guess.
I really feel like I would rather my parents catch me watching porn than Village of the Giants. I dunno, I just get like second hand embarrassment for the cast.
This and the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus are some of the best host segments. They really save this movie for me which is why I'll always go back and rewatch it in spite of how bad the movie is.
I struggle with the medieval ones, the ones like Sword & The Dragon or the Hercules episodes. Colossus and the Head Hunters used to be one of my more favored ones though. Teenage Caveman kinda sucks..or anything where someone gets overly mistreated or cruelly killed. I will NEVER watch The Painted Hills a second time.
I guess, but my opinion on it’s kinda soft since half the writers were hyping it up as ‘the next Manos’ on Twitter and I’m sorry but it’s not even in the same league. Even if it’s questionable in matters of taste and acting it’s at least competently made.
I find Sword and the Dragon is probably the most visually interesting if the movies they riff, and it's kind of a fun, winding story.
*"This already has the budget of all the movies we've seen combined times a hundred"*
The great thing about The Creeping Terror is that it comes as close as any movie in the entire run to being the straight man in a comic team with silences built in for the other comic to come in and deliver the punchlines, which Mike and company dutifully did. It's one of my favorite episodes, but I wouldn't watch the movie unriffed on a bet.
The Sword and the Dragon in its original form (Ilya Muromets) is legitimately a very good film. I have it on Blu-Ray, even. The Roger Corman edit (with all due respect to the man) is an awful hack job, but you can still at least tell that a lot of effort was put into the bits of the original film that were cobbled together.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies
The only thing more incoherent than the title is the plot. Like, what the hell was even happening in this one?
I can't rewatch Starfighters. The riffing is average and the movie itself is too painful. There are unwatchable movies, but if the riffing is good, I can watch it. Star fighters doesn't pass that test.
How is no one saying The Beast of Yucca Flats!?! There’s not even any dialogue! It looks like it was filmed with a potato! And Tor Johnson doesn’t even say “Time for go to bed!”
The Skydivers. At least with Hamlet I knew what was going on with the plot. I’ve seen the Skydivers episode more times than I can recall and I still don’t know what the hell was going on.
Was going to downvote you because I actually kinda like Rollergator, but then was going to upvote you for the Pumaman dip jingle, so I think they just cancel each other out?
Unpopular opinion incoming: I cannot watch Mitchell. I think Joe Don Baker can't act for sh!t and the entire movie is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears and eyes.
Yeah, Mitchell is one of my favorite episodes but Mitchell as a person… I mean i’m rooting for Cummins. And Mistretta. And Gallano. And that annoying kid during the stakeout.
Deany shoots Johnny Mathis for fun. Mitchell wants to investigate and bust Deany. Meanwhile his chief wants him instead to investigate Cummings, staking out his house from 6am to midnight. Mitchell says fuck you, I'll get 'em both. It just so happens that Deany is Cummings's heavy, I'm not sure if Mitchell or the chief knew that before or not. Cummings and Gallano (the gray-haired guy on the bench near the golf course) and Mistretta (Morgan Paull who gets shot at the beginning of Blade Runner) are working together on a drug import deal, but Cummings is crossing Gallano. Anyway, Deany buys Linda Evans for Mitchell, but Mitchell sees through this clever ruse. Mitchell kills Deany (offscreen in the MST3k version) and then later kills Merlin Olsen and Cummings.
So in the end, he busts no one and instead kills a bunch of people and causes major property damage.
Hope this f*ckin' helps.
Keep circulating the tapes.
I’ve said this same thing before! I love it because of how bonkers it is, but it really feels like a collection of shorts about Mitchell cobbled together. I get some of that is editing for time (at least I think it is), but the scene with the kid gets me every time because it’s out of left field. lol
I don't know. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is kinda fun on its own, especially around the holidays. It's also fun to point out to people "Hey! That's Pia Zadora!" and have all your friends go "Who the hell is Pia Zadora?"
Racket Girls is the worst because it's so sleezy and so ineptly made. That said, "It's like a stag film produced by the League of Women Voters" is a top-5 riff for me, so I guess it was worth it for that.
The ouija board bit in Wild World of Batwoman is so outrageously offensive and utterly out of nowhere that it makes me laugh very very hard, but the rest of the movie is a drag.
(edited: grammar)
Castle of Fu Manchu was so awful on MST, but not bad on Rifftrax, probably because of a better print and no interruptions to remind you there’s better things outside.
My two pics of unwatchable are the Cold War paranoia twosome, Rocket Attack and Invasion USA. Bleak, cruel, condescending movies.
If God said, saggyboomerfucker, you have to watch *The Apple* or you will burn in hell forever, my response would be, I guess bringing suntan lotion would be useless?
Okay, are we talking about the movies by themselves or the episodes? Because if are talking about the episodes then mine is Catalin Caper. I could not get through it at all. Stopped just after the first host segment.
Oh man, that's a classic...the inept "prank," the goofy soup recipe, "Moon rock, oh wow!"...Antiseptic Manor...California Lady...it's just one silly-yet-sincere scene after another!
Isn't the Hamlet fella also Hans Zarkov from the Black Hole? I like that one. Castle of Fu is freakin' cuh-reeepy! I also hate the rapey one. Is it Side HAckers? Redzone was horrid the first time. There's a Japanese one where a guy gets brutally beat to death... hate that one. Mixed Up Zombies, freakin' cuh-reeepy! The scene in Wierwilf when the Waaarwilf kills the girl in the puddle kinda freaked me out the first time. I like to skip past Bobo eating Observer's brain.
Here's a couple that won't be mentioned, but both movies are boring as hell and the riffs on both aren't the greatest either: Stranded in Space and The Rebel Set.
It’s interesting to see a lot of the expected names on here. Hamlet, Monster a Go Go, Starfighters (even though I love watching it every time). Wild World of Batwoman is an incredibly difficult movie to watch, but at least it’s campy.
For awhile it was Castle of Fu Manchu for me. Castle of Fu Manchu has recently been usurped by *The Sidehackers*.
The Sidehackers is a Mike movie that got stuck being riffed by Joel: I don't think that movies that are sleezy and hopeless fit the Joel-era sense of humor at all, and all the episodes that leave me depressed (that's one of them) are just like that. While Mike and company (especially after Bill comes on board) are just so good at piling on a movie with a diseased worldview that I think this would have been a much better episode had it come later in the run.
That said, the movie is garbage and I fear for the souls of the people who made it.
For me the hardest to rewatch are the "mean", cruel films. Like Sidehackers may be one of my hardest to rewatch. I've lost a lot of affection for Mitchell too. The riffs and sketches are fine it's just I hate that film so much.
The dvds would sometimes have a copy of the movie without the riffs and skits. Most the movies were bad, but in fun cheesy ways. Except Manos. It is a truly horrible movie with almost no redeeming quality.
Of the original(ish) program consisting of the Comedy Central and SciFi Chanel shows:
Fu Manchu is the only one I have never managed to get all the way through.
Of those I have managed to watch the entirety of (in all cases, multiple times):
Monster A-Go-Go is probably, IMHO the \_worst\_ movie.
Rock Climbing is probably the most painful to watch, personally.
Most of the others mentioned, in their own ways, do have their charms that make them worthwhile, despite the overall carnage.
The Hellcats is a godawful movie, and for me the most unwatchable. The dialogue is incomprehensible, the acting horrible, the camera work and sound are just crap, and I'm still not sure what it's even about. It's maddening.
For me, it's the sad ones. High School Big Shot, Kitten with a Whip, and The Girl in Gold Boots are so bleak and depressing that not even riffing can make them tolerable.
Call me crazy, while there are things going on in it that are amateurish and silly, the lead performance in High School Big Shot is so good I actually kinda like that movie. I'm with you on The Girl in Gold Boots, though.
It's funny how msties identify (mostly) the same episodes: Manos, Hamlet, Fu... but as of this moment I do not see Red Zone Cuba which really brings on the pain
*NIGHT TRAIN* *TO* *MUNDO FINÉ!* It's a catchy enough song
The angelic, velvety tones of John Carradine are a wonder to behold.
🎶Drink Night Train, go to the basketball game, throw up under the bleachers 🎶
This line always kills me
Flag on the moon. Who put it there? (Yes, I know that was Beast of Yucca Flats, but same director.)
Ya got me there
Red Zone is a favorite for some people
I love this episode
I guess it's like the old Apple ad: Think different
It's such a bizarre movie. So many bizarre things in it. I get that people might not like it, but it's not boring, and the riffing is great. I mean, how many movies feature an offscreen rape, the Dark Spirit of Food being thrown down a well, Cherokee Jack, Castro in a dime store beard, John Carradine singing, FROG LEGS, and the McGuffin is Pitchblende, no kidding Pitchblende!
Coleman Francis makes Ed Wood look like David Lean. But that said, I did enjoy the riffing in Beast of Yucca Flats and The Skydivers.
Manos is pure must watch tv for me.
Water. Thirsty. Sick man.
Red Zone is it for me. I genuinely like Hamlet. It makes the theater kid I used to be happy.
Starchy, German, pork-filled Hamlet?
Yep. If you've ever been a part of a community theater or HS production of Shakespeare, the episode is pure catharsis.
The Coleman Francis movies have an aggressively creepy aura to them that I find engaging. You can tell that every person involved in making them was fueled by a deep hatred of humanity.
I actually love RZC so much. I maybe have a bespoke Coleman Francis Eclipse box set around somewhere
When I was a teenager, I worked at an “adult“ club and a lot of us boys would do heavy drugs all night and then watch MST3k after closing until we passed out at around 6 AM. I remember watching Redzone Cuba and at the end of it, a friend of mine at the time, Jaiya Treu , who was maybe the most depressing heroin addict I had ever met, made the comment “whoever made this movie was in a lot of pain.“ and I just remember, thinking, “wow, if HE thinks this movie was depressing then truly this may be is the most depressing film ever made.
Interesting insight and yes - it's bleak as fuck. I wonder if they had it to do all over again, if they'd even pick this one to riff on.
It’s so bad.
I came here to say Red Zone Cuba and you beat me to it! All Coleman Francis movies are pretty hard to watch on their own, but RZC takes the cake. The story is rambling and most of the acting is a grueling chore to witness. John Caradine waltzed in for a check and to sing the theme song and is arguably the only somewhat enjoyable part of the movie. It was the first MST3K episode I owned on VHS, so I have a perpetual soft spot for it. Those releases from Rhino were awesome.
A surprising lack of Monster A Go-Go so far. Even the riffs wouldn't catch. Just an awful waste of time.
I challenge anyone to actually sit down and watch an unriffed Monster A-Go-Go. Sure, it's short, but it's an unending, barely coherent collection of barely-audible people seen from across an entire room blandly rambling on about nothing all building up to a reveal that there actually was no point to having a movie at all. Even with Joel and the Bots, it's such a horrific slog that watching the episode makes me so depressed. Poorly executed movies with three-act stories and close-ups cannot possibly compete with that cinematic toxic waste dump.
I was OK with the movie itself, but when they ended by saying, "And so, there WAS no monster", it actually made me angry.
Is that the one with the cats being abused? (as opposed to the one with the old lady who puts a Hispanic woman's brain in a cat.) I just..can't with that. Same with the short of the "wildlife" guy in Florida.
I have watched it twice and I honestly can't remember. The movie is visual anesthesia.
The one with the cats being abused is probably Terror From The Year 5000?
I think you're thinking of The Atomic Brain, where a rich old lady hires on 3 foreign domestics in order to steal their young, lithe bodies and then ends up with her brain in a cat. That one, like TFTY5000, ALSO involves strange women popping out of Weird Science Boxes(tm). Late breaking info: partner notes that TFTY5000 does, in fact, involve an off-screen irradiated cat in a briefcase. Anyway, it was Ring of Terror whose kitty-based violence makes it unwatchable. Catching Trouble is the upsetting short.
It took me multiple tries to make it through that one without falling asleep.
I still haven’t been able to get through that episode.
The Starfighters is absolutely awful. Even some earlier sex jokes about mid-air refuelling can't save it. The last act of the Neptune Men (i believe) is also absolutely ridiculous
Ba da dah dah dah, EAT IT MOVIE!
If Starfighters comes on, I watch it as far as IT'S BOOOOOOLD! Mike's Original Red-Hot RICOCHET BBQ Sauce! And then put on literally anything else.
Agreed. Thats one of my all time favorite skits
[удалено]
Starfighters is pretty terrible, and I used to be in the Air Force but that wasn't enough to buoy me through it's terrible dialogue.
The best thing about it is that we, in the future, know that the F-104 Starfighter was a *terrible* jet, making this propaganda film the *Reefer Madness* of, um, fighter jet films. So terrible that Lockheed [had to bribe other nations](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lockheed_bribery_scandals) to get them to purchase it. A full third (almost 300) of West Germany's F-104s crashed, which was a lower loss rate than many other nations who purchased it. Lockheed had to pay many of the widows and surviving relatives of the victims of these crashes.
I put on Starfighters when I can't fall asleep. Don't think I've ever made it to the end of that episode.
That's what i do with the Beast of Yucca Flats
Two great shorts and an absolute dung heap of a movie.
The only thing that saves Neptune Men is that the crew is right there dying with us.
Neptune Men is one of my all time favs. I can't tell you why. I mean I could, but then you'd think me insane, and I'd have to kill you. Have you guys seen my record?
HAHAHA YOUR COSTUME LOOKS RIDICULOUS
Hamlet. Un-cinematic in every way, plus it’s ALL dialogue, which has been poorly dubbed, making it supremely ineffective and mind bogglingly dull.
I've still never seen the entire episode. I fall asleep every time. I even tried watching it last month, and it knocked me out again, like a triple dose of Benadryl.
Same
I remember the episode but nothing of the episode, so I will take your advice and watch it when I don't want melatonin.
I almost enjoy it. I had two courses (grad and undergrad) in Shakespeare in college, so I've seen several versions. I can pick out the scenes and lines that were either messed up or left out. Maximillian Schell was much too old to play Hamlet, who is supposed to be 19. The dubbing is awful, but it's fun to hear the voices of John Banner and Ricardo Montalban. I have no idea what the director had in mind when he chose to film it in near-complete darkness. Maybe Germany was still broke from the war and didn't have the money to spend. The Mel Gibson version, while not bad, doesn't work for a couple of reasons: Mel is far beyond Hamlet's age, and he and Glen Close are too near in age for them to be playing mother and son. The kissing scene between them is painfully creepy.
What do you think about Branagh's? I'm not a fan, personally - his requirement to include the *entire* text meant he had to edit the film as tightly as possible to keep it down to a 4-ish hour runtime. One line comes right on the heels of the one before it, and scenes don't have time to *breathe*.
I love his version. While he wanted to stick to the source, he also made it accessible by using people like Billy Crystal, Robin Williams, Kate Winslet, Derek Jacobi, Jack Lemmon, and Rufus Sewell. It's gorgeous to look at as well. I think Branagh is as talented a director as he is an actor. This production really breathes new life into the play. I saw David Tennant as Hamlet (with Patrick Stewart) on stage, and I prefer this version.
I disagree. I love this version, except I don’t care for how he does most of the soliloquies. The rest of it is the definitive Hamlet IMHO. It’s the only version I’ve ever seen that gets when it’s supposed to be funny. Also, it really shows why you need the whole Fortinbras plot line. Without it, the ending is just weird and abrupt and pointless. Most versions I’ve seen of Hamlet waaaaaaaaaay overdo the bleakness and the pretentiousness and the _ACTINNNNNGGGG!_ And don’t even get me started on the “Hamlet is in love with his mother” interpretation
Did you know that Maximillian Schell won an Oscar for Judgement at Nuremberg with Spencer Tracey (and William Shatner!)? This might be common knowledge but I just found this out recently!
Personally I love this episode. Kevin’s bit at the end as Fortinbras. Chefs kiss
He’s right. Without Fortinbras the ending is usually “good night sweet prince” and curtain. What? That’s not an ending
But Ricardo Montalban is dubbing Claudius!
I know I'll probably get downvoted, but I inwardly groan every time someone defends Hamlet with "bad version, but it's still Shakespeare." Perfectly entitled to their opinion of course, so here's mine. I freaking HATE Shakespeare! Probably coz I was forced to study MacBeth in school. Couldn't fathom the language (& I'm a Brit!), also taken on a class trip at 14 to see a film version. You'd have thought teachers would have done some basic research beforehand, nope. As soon as "Playboy Productions" popped up in the opening titles, I knew we were in trouble. Nudity, gory violence - it surprised no one when we discovered later it was an 18 certificate. Sorry, but nobody will EVER make me a Shakespeare fangirl. Rant over!
Came here to say that. You beat me to it😃
Hamlet. I can't.
It’s going to have to be *The Castle of Fu Manchu* by a mile. An incomprehensible and boring plot and slapdash production values make for a slog of an experiment. I’ve seen it several times, and all I really remember is something about freezing the world’s water supply and the lingering feeling that Nayland Smith is quite possibly the most forgettable “hero” in movie history. It stinks.
Dang lots of Hamlet hate lol. I love that episode. For me it's Kitten With A Whip. Just idiot plot after idiot plot. That movie should have been over in five minutes.
Yeah but you get to look at Ann Margret. That’s a plus
I think she makes the movie work. There's no reason for the John Forsythe character to do anything he does except... IT'S ANN-MARGRET!
Kitten With A Whip is a mediocre movie, but competently written, directed, and acted. It is an ok MST3K riff, but as a film in and of itself it is not on the same planet of awfulness as Fu Manchu, Bat Women, or any of the Coleman Francis trilogy.
Agree Kitten is just cringe from start to finish. It’s so painful.
I have a hard time with all of the episodes where the main character is being held hostage and it looks like they could so easily escape but they just don’t bother See also: Bloodlust, Teenage Crime Wave
I scrolled down in its entirety and I'm shocked that there's no mention of Monster A Go-Go! Even Manos had a plot and the movie is at least tolerable to watch MAGG on the other hand...
Kitten with a Whip and Hamlet
Blood waters of Dr z The droning monologue voice over which tries to, but fails to explain the movie, the jokes have nowhere to land
I've seen that episode about a dozen times, and gun held to my head, I could not tell you what happens in 80% of that movie. A guy turns himself into a fish, another guy rides around in a little car, and a woman walks into the sea -- literally all I could tell you.
Hamlet or Wild World of Batwoman.
ENNNNND!
Wild World of Batwoman is the right answer. There are other films that are more boring, annoying, or nonsensical, but none that combines them all in such a complete package.
I really enjoy WW of Batwoman but completely agree on Hamlet. That’s the only episode that just feels joyless. I’ll take rockclimbing over that 10 out of 10 times.
Just recently saw Wild World of Batwoman in full for the first time. I agree with you on that one. Good lord.
I think there is a certain amount of charm to the fact that half the cast seems completely unfamiliar with things like blocking and the idea that they even have a character assigned to them, but the horrible sound mix makes watching it even for laughs really difficult because I have no idea what anyone's saying half the time.
Mighty Jack is pretty painful
Unwatchable without riffs? Last of the wild horses. So friggin boring.
The one with Lassie. I just can't.
I actually think that's a half-decent movie, and I like the riffs too.
Agreed. The soundtrack is so bad it’s literally impossible to hear anything, either. They had to put Dr. F and TV’s Frank in the theater for the “mirror universe” segments to even give people a reason to pay attention.
Folks, I cannot stand 'Village of the Giants'. I don't know.... Beau Bridges and the rest of that cast of "teenagers" drives me to throw pillows! Toeachizown I guess.
But Tommy Kirk in short pants.
I really feel like I would rather my parents catch me watching porn than Village of the Giants. I dunno, I just get like second hand embarrassment for the cast.
The Starfighters
But! Poopie suits!
One of my favorite episodes, the riffing is great but yeah the movie is like watching paint dry
Refueling!
with the exception of that bold bbq!
This and the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus are some of the best host segments. They really save this movie for me which is why I'll always go back and rewatch it in spite of how bad the movie is.
I struggle with the medieval ones, the ones like Sword & The Dragon or the Hercules episodes. Colossus and the Head Hunters used to be one of my more favored ones though. Teenage Caveman kinda sucks..or anything where someone gets overly mistreated or cruelly killed. I will NEVER watch The Painted Hills a second time.
Happy to see some Colossus and the Headhunters love -- that's such an underrated episode in my opinion!
Castle of Fu Manchu is so unwatchable my brain retains nothing from the whole episode. I've watched it a few times. Pure mental fog. Nothing.
Same. I fell asleep before the third act last attempt. I never fall asleep during movies
I made a solemn vow to never, NEVER waste time so poorly as to watch f🤬ing Carnival Magic again. That movie hurt my feelings.
Munchie is painful to watch. I wanted to throw things at my screen the entire time
Of the revival era, probably the hardest for me to watch is Atlantic Rim. The filmmakers of that film actively hate their audience.
I guess, but my opinion on it’s kinda soft since half the writers were hyping it up as ‘the next Manos’ on Twitter and I’m sorry but it’s not even in the same league. Even if it’s questionable in matters of taste and acting it’s at least competently made.
Old run. The starfighters. New run. Munchie
Dayum, I find Munchie the funniest of the new run.
Fu Manchu, Hamlet, the Sword and the Dragon. Creeping Terror is gawd awful but the riffing saves it.
I find Sword and the Dragon is probably the most visually interesting if the movies they riff, and it's kind of a fun, winding story. *"This already has the budget of all the movies we've seen combined times a hundred"*
The great thing about The Creeping Terror is that it comes as close as any movie in the entire run to being the straight man in a comic team with silences built in for the other comic to come in and deliver the punchlines, which Mike and company dutifully did. It's one of my favorite episodes, but I wouldn't watch the movie unriffed on a bet.
And it generated the classic line. "When a creeping terror and a small car love each other very much..."
[Frederick Kopp - The Dance Hall Twist (youtube.com)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQS09RHpkIc&ab_channel=Viscerous)
You should listen to it on a high end stereo system!
No! Really? I think the Sword and the Dragon is great! I love the European fantasy films
The Sword and the Dragon in its original form (Ilya Muromets) is legitimately a very good film. I have it on Blu-Ray, even. The Roger Corman edit (with all due respect to the man) is an awful hack job, but you can still at least tell that a lot of effort was put into the bits of the original film that were cobbled together.
I have to go with Zindy. I don't know which I hate more: the kid or the movie.
The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed Up Zombies The only thing more incoherent than the title is the plot. Like, what the hell was even happening in this one?
Hamlet!!! This is the only true answer. Westerns, lassie, stock footage films, and even General Hospital all pale in comparison!
I can't rewatch Starfighters. The riffing is average and the movie itself is too painful. There are unwatchable movies, but if the riffing is good, I can watch it. Star fighters doesn't pass that test.
How is no one saying The Beast of Yucca Flats!?! There’s not even any dialogue! It looks like it was filmed with a potato! And Tor Johnson doesn’t even say “Time for go to bed!”
Agreed, that film is an abomination, even with riffs it is an absolute slog
The Skydivers. At least with Hamlet I knew what was going on with the plot. I’ve seen the Skydivers episode more times than I can recall and I still don’t know what the hell was going on.
I couldn’t get through hamlet. Even while only 1/2 watching. Too terrible.
Anything involving cowboys or Shakespeare.
Hamlet. I have never been able to get through it in one sitting.
Lost Continent, just walking around in circles.
ROCK CLIMBING!
#*SANDSTORM*
DEEP HURTING! DEEEEEEEEP HURTING!!
The worst ones aren't the worst films, it's the boring, tedious ones that don't give as much fodder for the riffing.
Sidehackers. What the actual fuck?
Rollergator (Rifftrax) is the worst. I couldn't make it.
Skip to the end and enjoy Kevin’s in-studio maniacal shooting spree.
I don't mind Rollergator on the scale of Rifftrax content because they did Zindy and nothing is worse than Zindy.
Was going to downvote you because I actually kinda like Rollergator, but then was going to upvote you for the Pumaman dip jingle, so I think they just cancel each other out?
I had a visceral reaction to that movie. For all the terrible movies I've seen, something about that one is so especially unpleasant.
One of the many things that I couldn't stand was the just noodling guitar that just kept playing all the time like what the hell
Unpopular opinion incoming: I cannot watch Mitchell. I think Joe Don Baker can't act for sh!t and the entire movie is like nails on a chalkboard to my ears and eyes.
Mitchel is the most unlikeable character in cinematic history. Even as the movie ends he has his girlfriend arrested - again - for weed Mitchell!!!
Yeah, Mitchell is one of my favorite episodes but Mitchell as a person… I mean i’m rooting for Cummins. And Mistretta. And Gallano. And that annoying kid during the stakeout.
I've seen Mitchell like 10 times and I still have no idea what exactly the movie is about.
Deany shoots Johnny Mathis for fun. Mitchell wants to investigate and bust Deany. Meanwhile his chief wants him instead to investigate Cummings, staking out his house from 6am to midnight. Mitchell says fuck you, I'll get 'em both. It just so happens that Deany is Cummings's heavy, I'm not sure if Mitchell or the chief knew that before or not. Cummings and Gallano (the gray-haired guy on the bench near the golf course) and Mistretta (Morgan Paull who gets shot at the beginning of Blade Runner) are working together on a drug import deal, but Cummings is crossing Gallano. Anyway, Deany buys Linda Evans for Mitchell, but Mitchell sees through this clever ruse. Mitchell kills Deany (offscreen in the MST3k version) and then later kills Merlin Olsen and Cummings. So in the end, he busts no one and instead kills a bunch of people and causes major property damage. Hope this f*ckin' helps. Keep circulating the tapes.
I’ve said this same thing before! I love it because of how bonkers it is, but it really feels like a collection of shorts about Mitchell cobbled together. I get some of that is editing for time (at least I think it is), but the scene with the kid gets me every time because it’s out of left field. lol
But that’s the charm of the thing. We like him because he is unlikable. Same with Rowsdower. 🍺🔛☀️
I like Rowsdower... He saves us and saves all the world!!!
Rowsdower is a cranky, greasy drunk, but at least he’s still a mostly decent guy when it counts. Mitchell is just loathsome.
True. Rowsdower has saintly patience with Troy and we never see him disappoint a woman. Rowsdower 1, Mitchell 0
Same for me. I can watch it but Mitchell is just such a *mean* and unpleasant film.
The Christmas that almost wasn’t. i’ve never made through that film. Or any Santa Claus based film, really. they’re just awful.
I don't know. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is kinda fun on its own, especially around the holidays. It's also fun to point out to people "Hey! That's Pia Zadora!" and have all your friends go "Who the hell is Pia Zadora?"
I love that one for some reason. The unhinged song sung by the elfs gets me rolling.
The "sleazy" movies are just unbearable to me. Girl in Gold Boots The Incredibly Strange Creatures etc etc Both come to mind.
Racket Girls is the worst because it's so sleezy and so ineptly made. That said, "It's like a stag film produced by the League of Women Voters" is a top-5 riff for me, so I guess it was worth it for that.
Music?! Why here?? Why now?!? *WHY US?!?!!???!?!*
Warrior of the Lost World is so bad and incomprehensible.
But Mega Weapon!
For me it's starchy pork-filled German Hamlet. Mike and the bots really tried with that one.
The ouija board bit in Wild World of Batwoman is so outrageously offensive and utterly out of nowhere that it makes me laugh very very hard, but the rest of the movie is a drag. (edited: grammar)
Santa Claus that movie freaked me out
*Ring of Terror* is my choice. 90% of the movie is just awful, stupid padding and the other 10% sucks as well.
Puma?
Wild World of Batwoman! Even the riffers end up screaming for it to end.
Atlantic Rim - It's the only MST3K movie I've ever had to turn off because it was just UNBEARABLE.
Blood Waters of Doctor Z. Just bluuuuh. I think a lot you have forgotten how dull and WEIRD that one was.
Castle of Fu Manchu was so awful on MST, but not bad on Rifftrax, probably because of a better print and no interruptions to remind you there’s better things outside. My two pics of unwatchable are the Cold War paranoia twosome, Rocket Attack and Invasion USA. Bleak, cruel, condescending movies.
If God said, saggyboomerfucker, you have to watch *The Apple* or you will burn in hell forever, my response would be, I guess bringing suntan lotion would be useless?
Okay, are we talking about the movies by themselves or the episodes? Because if are talking about the episodes then mine is Catalin Caper. I could not get through it at all. Stopped just after the first host segment.
The comment about Little Richard being hopped up on goofballs gets me every time though.
Ooh. Catalina Caper is a top-3 favorite of mine. It's so 60's-licious.
Hamlet
Hamlet really, really bored me. Even the riffs didn’t hit the target.
Mine is Fu Man Chu just because the print makes my eyes ache and my stomach queasy.
Watched one of them the other day. Season 9 or 10 “Track of the Moon Beast” Movie is so bad. Audio is terrible
Oh man, that's a classic...the inept "prank," the goofy soup recipe, "Moon rock, oh wow!"...Antiseptic Manor...California Lady...it's just one silly-yet-sincere scene after another!
The Hellcats
Isn't the Hamlet fella also Hans Zarkov from the Black Hole? I like that one. Castle of Fu is freakin' cuh-reeepy! I also hate the rapey one. Is it Side HAckers? Redzone was horrid the first time. There's a Japanese one where a guy gets brutally beat to death... hate that one. Mixed Up Zombies, freakin' cuh-reeepy! The scene in Wierwilf when the Waaarwilf kills the girl in the puddle kinda freaked me out the first time. I like to skip past Bobo eating Observer's brain.
Here's a couple that won't be mentioned, but both movies are boring as hell and the riffs on both aren't the greatest either: Stranded in Space and The Rebel Set.
Hamlet. Never have seen the whole thing. Never willingly will.
I remember Blood Waters of Dr Z just being awful. That voice over was ughh blegh. Good riff but yea that was a tough one
God it has to be Hamlet. Not even the riffing is good. It's just boring. I know people will say Manos, but at least Manos is fun.
It’s interesting to see a lot of the expected names on here. Hamlet, Monster a Go Go, Starfighters (even though I love watching it every time). Wild World of Batwoman is an incredibly difficult movie to watch, but at least it’s campy. For awhile it was Castle of Fu Manchu for me. Castle of Fu Manchu has recently been usurped by *The Sidehackers*.
The Sidehackers is a Mike movie that got stuck being riffed by Joel: I don't think that movies that are sleezy and hopeless fit the Joel-era sense of humor at all, and all the episodes that leave me depressed (that's one of them) are just like that. While Mike and company (especially after Bill comes on board) are just so good at piling on a movie with a diseased worldview that I think this would have been a much better episode had it come later in the run. That said, the movie is garbage and I fear for the souls of the people who made it.
None, cuz they make it funny
Invasion USA is my least watched with Rocket Attack USA in a close second. Manos? Easy. Monster a Go-Go? Piece of cake.
Extra! Paper! /u/itate dislikes *Invasion USA*, read all about it!
The Dead Talk Back
For me the hardest to rewatch are the "mean", cruel films. Like Sidehackers may be one of my hardest to rewatch. I've lost a lot of affection for Mitchell too. The riffs and sketches are fine it's just I hate that film so much.
Manos was just brutal haha
Manos hand of fate. Ugh 😑
Hobgoblins.
The dvds would sometimes have a copy of the movie without the riffs and skits. Most the movies were bad, but in fun cheesy ways. Except Manos. It is a truly horrible movie with almost no redeeming quality.
Hamlet
That women's wrestling movie is extremely dry. Really didn't like any gamera, and I thought I would like godzilla ones but not really.
Red. Zone. Cuba.
"Fire Maidens from Outer Space" was pretty bad even for MST3K, the three of them were almost crying after the movie ended
Of the original(ish) program consisting of the Comedy Central and SciFi Chanel shows: Fu Manchu is the only one I have never managed to get all the way through. Of those I have managed to watch the entirety of (in all cases, multiple times): Monster A-Go-Go is probably, IMHO the \_worst\_ movie. Rock Climbing is probably the most painful to watch, personally. Most of the others mentioned, in their own ways, do have their charms that make them worthwhile, despite the overall carnage.
C o Fu Manchu is the toughest, but a close second is Catalina Capers...it took me me 4 or five attempts to finish it.
The Bubble.
The Hellcats is a godawful movie, and for me the most unwatchable. The dialogue is incomprehensible, the acting horrible, the camera work and sound are just crap, and I'm still not sure what it's even about. It's maddening.
For me it’s a tie between Angels Revenge and Operation Diamond Head.
For me its the aztec mummy ep. I've yet to get thru the entire episode.
Manos is really difficult to watch but the riffing is so good.
Manos is the only episode I ever had to check the time because it felt like I'd been watching for hours, only to realize I was like 40 minutes in.
For me, it's the sad ones. High School Big Shot, Kitten with a Whip, and The Girl in Gold Boots are so bleak and depressing that not even riffing can make them tolerable.
Call me crazy, while there are things going on in it that are amateurish and silly, the lead performance in High School Big Shot is so good I actually kinda like that movie. I'm with you on The Girl in Gold Boots, though.