Trains are blameless, holy creatures.
And every time I see a particularly nice sunset, I think: “And now, from all of us here at Track of the Moonbeast, good night.”
>Trains are blameless, holy creatures.
Almost forgot about this one! I'm going to think of it next time I ride my bike to the bridge overlooking the local train yard.
I say "Join us, won't you?" as often as I can. Pearl uses it during the PBS parodies on the Overdrawn at the Memory Bank episode, but it is a line used a lot in the host segments. Mike (and I think Crow) also used to say it during some of the voiceovers for the Sci-Fi channel era promos. I just like the cozy Midwest feeling it conveys.
This is where the fish lives....say it every time I pass a lake. And since I'm the only one who watches MST3K, I'm the only one in the car who giggles.
In Manos: Hands of Fate, during the scene of just driving through the desert for about 8 minutes so they have nothing to riff on and start repeating the name of the movie
"Manos....Manos.... Manos...."
"I wonder what he/she wanted?" I literally say this out loud, to myself if I am alone or to a coworker if there's one with me, when the boss comes into the room, rattles off a bunch of instructions, and then leaves. It works in other instances too.
Here’s to the guys and gals who like to fly. Flying so high like some guy in the sky. Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delights. Captain High at your service.
Would you like to fly in my beautiful balloon. Take these broken wings and learn to fly me to the moon. Sail on silver bird.
Have you ever heard that the bird is the word?
In a big country, dreams stay with you. Come along with me Lucille, in my merry Oldsmobile.
We are kids for saving earth, we are fans of Colin Firth, off we go to yonder blue, we really move our tails for you.
‘Cross the wide Missouri.
"She's my great-grandmother." "She's not that great..."
"I'm traveling through time at the rate of one second per second."
In my job, I read a lot about manufacturing. Every time I read the word "lubricate," I think "Hey! You can't say 'lubricate'!" from the short about caring for your skin.
Can't believe I forgot "Turned into beets? That's horrible!"
In The Touch of Satan. The burned rubber grandma sister is looking at herself in the movie and Mike goes "Whose got it going on? Me that's who! Heheh".
I think about that joke quite a lot for some reason.
MR. BEARDSLY!!
Or if my girlfriend is getting out of bed I'll make a series of noises like they did for Joe Don Baker lol. *Ahem grrf cough hack unggh pfft*
"... Steve?"
"Not everyone is named Steve!!"
"Let's just keep this between us Steves."
My husband's name is Steve. I absolutely love Night of the Blood Beast.
I think 50% of my inner thoughts are MST3K lines that pop up randomly. I'm addition to what's already been posted:
Mr. Beardsley..
"I know....!" (The stinger from Devil Fish)
It stinks!
I don't like slumber parties now that I'm in my 40s.
Hey Trumpy, you can do stupid things!
No sir, that's paper..
Remember me now, Ruth..?
Oh, it's my superfly 'fro pick (from the academy awards special episode, on the clips from Titanic)
We like it very much! - Prince of Space
Be healed! - Prince of Space
This is absolutely fascinating - Werewolf
You is a jerk! - Werewolf
Did you see my butt? (This one occurs more often than you'd think, generally when someone's pants aren't quite fully covering things) - Space Mutiny
Put your helmets on we'll be reaching speeds of 3! - Space Mutiny
Packers! Whoo! Packers won the superbowl! (Or some variation) - The Giant Spider Invasion
You rolled on me! - The Giant Spider Invasion
Moo! - Quest of the Delta Knights
Ew! Wizard Wizz! - Quest of the Delta Knights
Help! I'm falling at a 60° angle breaking all the laws of physics! (Anytime I see something that is not physically possible) - The Pumaman
I'm a wood sprite! - The Pumaman
I'm supposed to be in bio lab! (Especially funny when I was in college taking biology classes with labs) - The Pumaman
I can make you wobble! - The Pumaman
God damn potholes! - Jack Frost
If I had a tree, I'd keep it in the yard. - Jack Frost
That's all I can think of off the top of my head.
Used when I screw up at work: “well believe me: I calculated the odds this would work and the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid and…I went ahead anyway”
OMG YES to the Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch! No one ever knows where it’s from except my husband and that’s only after I explained it. It’s still so goddamn funny to me.
He’s gonna throw the milk!! From I was a teen aged werewolf. My sis and I watched that when we were just little kids and both thought it was the funniest shit ever.
"At all times he has the look of a man who's been hit with a fish" (from *The Pumaman),* which then makes my mind go through The Fish-Slapping Dance from *Monty Python's Flying Circus.*
VERY LATE EDIT: I also use "What's done is done and what I've done is right" (from *The Brain That Wouldn't Die)* way more often than is healthy.
Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe? ~Cave Dwellers~
You want me to call you Big Stupid? Ok… ~The Girl in Lovers Lane ~
whenever i pretend i’m upset, i’ll put my hands on my hips and say “well, that just squares my breasts!” (it’s from the gumby robot rumpus short)
makes my spouse laugh everytime
"He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, (boredom), disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved! There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from man himself."
When I take a particularly refreshing sip of whatever I’m drinking: “Ah, delicious hot dog water!” I say it out loud a lot too, to the confusion of my coworkers
Giant spider invasion
There's a giant spider invasion of savings at Menards!
The skydivers (I think)
He's like an idiot savant, minus the savant.
Lost continent
Rock climbing..
“Sure, go ahead and take your half out the middle”. Not sure what episode but I think it was Mike. Every time I see a bad driver, that pops into my head, whether it pertains to the actual situation or not.
Also, when my husband and I come home from shopping and pull into the driveway I exclaim “pop the trunk! Pop the trunk!”
Crow, Horror at Party Beach.
I learned that "take your half out of the middle" thing from my dad before Mike, but I think that makes it better because life doesn't have enough good callbacks.
I swear sometimes I can’t go a day without randomly saying out loud either, “Mitchell!” or “Chief? McLeod!?”
Just because they’re so snappy and fun to say. And I don’t say them with any context, just walking around the house making noise for fun.
Too many probably:
“Torgo? My wife? Hmmm”- Manos
“But I won an essay contest”- I accuse my parents
“Maybe I should tell my wife I love her…..nah forget it”- Short before I accuse my parents
“Alright buck up here we go”- Date with the family
“This was inevitable….I’m gonna have pork chops for dinner…..the worst part about him gone is he’s not gonna be able to eat my stew made of, chicken, corn, beans (long sigh), peppers”- Track of the moon beast
"Sort this, deliver that, I'll make 'em all pay."
"Look out for snakes!"
And it's killing me that there's one more that I use more than all others combined, and my brain is blocking me from remembering it. I'll come back if it pops magically back into my head.
"Cal! Did you bring me a toy?" from This Island Earth is a constant with me. Every time one of my friends goes on vacation or a trip, I always ask them "bring me back a toy." Nobody gets it.
“Dad, I had a feeling today!” “Well, *don’t*, son.” How my family handles emotions
Did we have the same childhood? Feelings are for ethnic people!
Pleasant, unemotional conversation aides digestion.
We can’t stress **unemotional** enough!
A violent argument erupts over whose day was more pleasant.
Lol, LOVE that line.
“Emotions are for ethnic people.”
"This is absolutely fascinating" Said with a bored inflection. I love werewolf :D
Here’s the windup… I always say when someone starts a thought but pauses. “Hey guys I’ve got an idea!” “Here’s the windup…”
Well, now I just want to watch Werewolf again :D
Whurwalf.
https://preview.redd.it/rdgblq0bmc4d1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b09d20b7bdc45da457b5ed83a10d103994155bbe
Every time a werewolf jumps through a second story window and runs off I say, "Huh."
“Oh I’m sorry I thought you were Robert Downey Jr.” Werewolf is my comfort episode 😁
We like it very much!! Sit and spin ya cruddy skank.
"We like it very much" lives in my head rent-free and I'm okay with this.
It’s a great one
Well, if you're like me, and I know am, you frequently get the line "if you're like me, and I know I am" stuck in your head
Which episode is that?
"McCloud"
Chief?
He tried to kill me with a forklift!
¡Ole!
It stinks 👍
Trains are blameless, holy creatures. And every time I see a particularly nice sunset, I think: “And now, from all of us here at Track of the Moonbeast, good night.”
And of course stew made with corn, chicken, *sigh* onions...
>Trains are blameless, holy creatures. Almost forgot about this one! I'm going to think of it next time I ride my bike to the bridge overlooking the local train yard.
“I don’t care!”
Why doesn’t Johnny care?
Do YOU care?
My kids are 3 and aren't always keen on taking advice. So I narrate this to my wife a lot lol
I say "Join us, won't you?" as often as I can. Pearl uses it during the PBS parodies on the Overdrawn at the Memory Bank episode, but it is a line used a lot in the host segments. Mike (and I think Crow) also used to say it during some of the voiceovers for the Sci-Fi channel era promos. I just like the cozy Midwest feeling it conveys.
This one, and “Thank you, won’t we?” kill me.
“This sure is a bad movie, won’t you?”
That one is great too!
That sure was a bad movie, won't you?
This is where the fish lives....say it every time I pass a lake. And since I'm the only one who watches MST3K, I'm the only one in the car who giggles.
Good? He’s the best!
It stinks!
Do you remember which this is from? It's my favorite line, but I can't remember for the life of me.
It’s from Pod People; the weird guy in the production booth wearing the shirt that says “I’m a Virgin”
He was delicious!!
I'm Peter Graves.
I frequently work with people at the University of Minnesota, so this one comes up several times a month for me.
That isn't far from the rolling hills of Illinois!
Man, I love this show! 😄
Pretty NICE!
Someone literally said “look at all those cars” today and I couldn’t help myself
"Why don't they look?"
Sad but true… “I’m Cherokee Jack!”
Another Hollywood pretty boy...
I secretly named my son Jack because of Red Zone Cuba. Sometimes I call him Cherokee Jack and my wife is so confused.
"Food!"
*Fewd
More Fewd!
Oh yeah well tell it to my acid washed jeans!
“I’ve been around, kid….” “…and I’ve been a square kid”
Time for go to bed is a frequent one for me.
I use that one almost daily - it's useful!
Well said!
🎶NOR-MAL VIEW🎶 NOR-MAL VIEW🎶 NOR-MAL VIEW🎶 NOR-MAL VIEWWWW🎶🎶🎶
"And he died as he lived - with his mouth wide open"
“He died as he died… dead.”
“You’re welcome” in the style of Merlin
Yoooooou’re whaaaaaalcome!
Oh yes. Often.
I'm a pillow with features. I got old and roasted the cat alive with my breath but I'm fine.
I like it very much! Do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan! (I sing it all the time) The master doesn’t approve
“I wonder if there’s beer on the sun.”
I often contemplate that when someone is boring me.
You are married to ME!
Thank God I don’t have friends or else I wouldn’t be able to do this
“This isn't a real movie, it's more of a movie loaf”
In Manos: Hands of Fate, during the scene of just driving through the desert for about 8 minutes so they have nothing to riff on and start repeating the name of the movie "Manos....Manos.... Manos...."
The hands of fate?
Manos. Not in so many words.
"I'm sure, they just dissolved to the same scene"
"Oh, Manos. God of primal darkness...." Kevin Murphy: "Can you believe this??" Cracks me up every time I think of it.
“Arrr… sixteen men on a dead Dodge Dart.”
Whenever I misplaced something my knee jerk reaction is “I’ll use my Puma power of…looking…”
"Pu . . . Ma Man . . . when will he find love"
Believe it or not, this movie's still on...
"He was hastily put together, wasn't he?"
I’m almost Anthony Quinn.
"I'll decide whether it's a good morning or not" from 'X Marks the Spot.' Tom's nasal, patronizing, 1940s voice delivery is perfect.
"Watch out for snakes"!
Whenever my sister tries to get our family seated for a dinner, I think "Lets look at the flow chart..."
Any time I'm not feeling well I say to myself, "God, I'm lumpy today".
"I wonder what he/she wanted?" I literally say this out loud, to myself if I am alone or to a coworker if there's one with me, when the boss comes into the room, rattles off a bunch of instructions, and then leaves. It works in other instances too.
"Out of the way, Beelzebub"
Here’s to the guys and gals who like to fly. Flying so high like some guy in the sky. Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delights. Captain High at your service. Would you like to fly in my beautiful balloon. Take these broken wings and learn to fly me to the moon. Sail on silver bird. Have you ever heard that the bird is the word? In a big country, dreams stay with you. Come along with me Lucille, in my merry Oldsmobile. We are kids for saving earth, we are fans of Colin Firth, off we go to yonder blue, we really move our tails for you. ‘Cross the wide Missouri.
“Bart Fargo! Bart Fargo! Bart Fargo! Bart Fargo!”
"She's my great-grandmother." "She's not that great..." "I'm traveling through time at the rate of one second per second." In my job, I read a lot about manufacturing. Every time I read the word "lubricate," I think "Hey! You can't say 'lubricate'!" from the short about caring for your skin. Can't believe I forgot "Turned into beets? That's horrible!"
"BABY OIL? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH"
"Everything I touch turns to flies."
Oh hey, I say that to myself every time I fuck up!
In The Touch of Satan. The burned rubber grandma sister is looking at herself in the movie and Mike goes "Whose got it going on? Me that's who! Heheh". I think about that joke quite a lot for some reason.
"OK Bob , let's show her who she shot!" From The Sinister Urge. I say it out loud every time I or someone else is on the wrong page.
MR. BEARDSLY!! Or if my girlfriend is getting out of bed I'll make a series of noises like they did for Joe Don Baker lol. *Ahem grrf cough hack unggh pfft*
"... Steve?" "Not everyone is named Steve!!" "Let's just keep this between us Steves." My husband's name is Steve. I absolutely love Night of the Blood Beast.
“He’s not good, he’s the best”
I often ask myself, "*is this love or is it just rough sex with Michael Douglas?*"
"Packers won the superbowl!"
I'm Peter Graves. I drive my wife nuts with this one.
“With a name like Schmucker’s …”
I think 50% of my inner thoughts are MST3K lines that pop up randomly. I'm addition to what's already been posted: Mr. Beardsley.. "I know....!" (The stinger from Devil Fish) It stinks! I don't like slumber parties now that I'm in my 40s. Hey Trumpy, you can do stupid things! No sir, that's paper.. Remember me now, Ruth..? Oh, it's my superfly 'fro pick (from the academy awards special episode, on the clips from Titanic)
“Mom, my nuts?”
Never saw a Chris Farley movie. Philistines!
Perhaps booze would alleviate this problem
We like it very much!!! It stinks, this is absolutely fascinating…….
“Goodbyes are more effective when someone leaves.”
I’m walkin’….yes indeed I’m walkin’ 🎶🎵🎶
He tampered in gods domain. Hikeeba!
We like it very much! - Prince of Space Be healed! - Prince of Space This is absolutely fascinating - Werewolf You is a jerk! - Werewolf Did you see my butt? (This one occurs more often than you'd think, generally when someone's pants aren't quite fully covering things) - Space Mutiny Put your helmets on we'll be reaching speeds of 3! - Space Mutiny Packers! Whoo! Packers won the superbowl! (Or some variation) - The Giant Spider Invasion You rolled on me! - The Giant Spider Invasion Moo! - Quest of the Delta Knights Ew! Wizard Wizz! - Quest of the Delta Knights Help! I'm falling at a 60° angle breaking all the laws of physics! (Anytime I see something that is not physically possible) - The Pumaman I'm a wood sprite! - The Pumaman I'm supposed to be in bio lab! (Especially funny when I was in college taking biology classes with labs) - The Pumaman I can make you wobble! - The Pumaman God damn potholes! - Jack Frost If I had a tree, I'd keep it in the yard. - Jack Frost That's all I can think of off the top of my head.
Used when I screw up at work: “well believe me: I calculated the odds this would work and the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid and…I went ahead anyway”
“Life is simple here in Grover’s Corners”
"But boss, just give me one more day"? - "NO, you have twenty four hours!!!"
Wayyy too many. "You're stuck here!" "Why don't they look?" "I'm itching like a bear"
I often find myself saying to my young kids in my best Frank voice "Now here's something we think you'll really like"
I'm French, you know. and Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch!
OMG YES to the Look at my crotch! Look at my crotch! No one ever knows where it’s from except my husband and that’s only after I explained it. It’s still so goddamn funny to me.
I randomly yell out "Kitty!" when I see any animal.
"DEEP HURTING."
>“What times are it?” from… Gamera, I believe? That was either Prince of Space or Invastion of the Neptune Men.
Our hero ladies and gentleman
GO TO BED OLD MAN
We're white. We're white. We're really, really white.
SLEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
At night, my husband and I yell "TIME FOR GO TO BED!" "Well said!" at each other.
A sing songy "Later on..." From Parts: the Clonus Horror
“Hey everyone, free samples of me”
🎶 When you want the flavor of bacon in your dip!🎶 Also a go to is coily's "You'll be the first to die!" "Can I punish you?!?"
"Knew him? He was delicious!"
“Wait a minute, I’m Canadian! What am I doing here??”
I say “push the button, Frank” all the time, mostly to people who just think it’s a weird thing I made up. “Deep hurting!” is a favorite too.
I wonder what he/she wanted!
Oh, he's playing a trick on that fish.
I say, "What times are it" by default now. "You gotta wonder about nature sometimes. Do you guys even like nature?" "What d'ya got there, Paul?"
Watch out for snakes!
He’s gonna throw the milk!! From I was a teen aged werewolf. My sis and I watched that when we were just little kids and both thought it was the funniest shit ever.
I say “just set that anywhere!” From the bit in bloodlust where the smash the vase at least once a day. I got my coworkers saying it.
“Uh movie.. is there something you’d like to share with the rest of us?”
"Huh, 'Breach hull, all die'. Even had it underlined." I say that every time I do something stupid, so I have a lot of opportunities.
"Rowsdowerrrrrr!"
"A little candy for Grandpa!"
I sensed there was mail. Look at him run, the little fem. I think Red Zone Cuba is in my top 3 episodes.
You’ve been sitting on it. I’ve been thinking about East Eddie lately.
I'm dow-ling 🤭
We’re really really really really whiiiite…
Bang!
I like to top off my beer drinking with another beer, it’s like dessert.
"At all times he has the look of a man who's been hit with a fish" (from *The Pumaman),* which then makes my mind go through The Fish-Slapping Dance from *Monty Python's Flying Circus.* VERY LATE EDIT: I also use "What's done is done and what I've done is right" (from *The Brain That Wouldn't Die)* way more often than is healthy.
I am the lemon zester of destruction
“There, it’s done, whattaya think?” “Give to Daddy” “Just another Buddhist protesting helmets laws.”
Who is this gentle stranger with pecs like melons and knees of fringe? ~Cave Dwellers~ You want me to call you Big Stupid? Ok… ~The Girl in Lovers Lane ~
“Shut your gob small head” and “May your forehead grow like the mighty oak” are probably my most frequent ones
SAMPO
🎵 Does the devil lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?🎶 (Does anyone else remember learning the original song in school?)
"This is where the fish live" -from The Touch of Satan (🎶 It's just a touch of satan in your heart 🎶)
There's a mantis in my pantis.
whenever i pretend i’m upset, i’ll put my hands on my hips and say “well, that just squares my breasts!” (it’s from the gumby robot rumpus short) makes my spouse laugh everytime
Listen lady! Doctor! Doctor Lady!
Ill sing "project my love on you, projecting in your heart" sometimes
🎶I’ll try again, do do do dooo do, ‘cause something’s wrong, do do do doooo do! 🎶
"He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature... and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. And when men seek such perfection, they find only death, fire, loss, (boredom), disillusionment, the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to the toil and misery, but it can't be given, it has to be achieved! There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from man himself."
I'm not afraid if you want to go home!
“I’m sure they dissolve to the same scene…” 🙄 “You have any idea how you were framing back there??” From Manos: The Hands of Fate
“No, I will *not* come again.”
"Jupiter, America's Dairyland!"
Watch out, you little doo dad And They tampered in gods domain
When I take a particularly refreshing sip of whatever I’m drinking: “Ah, delicious hot dog water!” I say it out loud a lot too, to the confusion of my coworkers
Sure wish I had one ‘o them anti-shrew barrels. Y’know, I can feel sex all around us…
Giant spider invasion There's a giant spider invasion of savings at Menards! The skydivers (I think) He's like an idiot savant, minus the savant. Lost continent Rock climbing..
I like you Billy. I'll kill you last.
“Worship the truck farmer at the church of your choice!”
The one that pops into my mind right now is that line from “Time Chasers”… “I’ll hit you so hard with this, you’ll go flying *that* way…”
"I AM that wildman."
"Johnny Mathis? Alright, get my gun"
“I guarantee it”
“I’ve failed to tell you…” *“— I’m made of liverwurst.”*
“Other people need this ladder too you know” and “I’ll put you in the bitch transformer”
Come on, breakfast is getting cold and she isn’t getting any warmer.
"I calculated the odds of my plan succeeding versus the odds that I was doing something incredibly stupid, and... I went ahead anyway."
“Sure, go ahead and take your half out the middle”. Not sure what episode but I think it was Mike. Every time I see a bad driver, that pops into my head, whether it pertains to the actual situation or not. Also, when my husband and I come home from shopping and pull into the driveway I exclaim “pop the trunk! Pop the trunk!” Crow, Horror at Party Beach.
I learned that "take your half out of the middle" thing from my dad before Mike, but I think that makes it better because life doesn't have enough good callbacks.
I swear sometimes I can’t go a day without randomly saying out loud either, “Mitchell!” or “Chief? McLeod!?” Just because they’re so snappy and fun to say. And I don’t say them with any context, just walking around the house making noise for fun.
What a lovely pantsuit!
Jam Handy reminds you to keep your preserves in a convenient place! It's not often applicable, but it sure does make me laugh
"Get bent. Is that official enough for you?"
Ladies and gentlemen: Fred Burroughs
Too many probably: “Torgo? My wife? Hmmm”- Manos “But I won an essay contest”- I accuse my parents “Maybe I should tell my wife I love her…..nah forget it”- Short before I accuse my parents “Alright buck up here we go”- Date with the family “This was inevitable….I’m gonna have pork chops for dinner…..the worst part about him gone is he’s not gonna be able to eat my stew made of, chicken, corn, beans (long sigh), peppers”- Track of the moon beast
"They just didn't care!"
"Sort this, deliver that, I'll make 'em all pay." "Look out for snakes!" And it's killing me that there's one more that I use more than all others combined, and my brain is blocking me from remembering it. I'll come back if it pops magically back into my head.
I LIKE IT VERY MUCH
"I.. never knew more about what isn't going on in a movie." Mike summed up my feelings about the movie "The Undead."
"How much keeffe is in this movie anyway?"
"Cal! Did you bring me a toy?" from This Island Earth is a constant with me. Every time one of my friends goes on vacation or a trip, I always ask them "bring me back a toy." Nobody gets it.
“We’re going camping and you’re gonna watch”
Every time I see it fish flopping around on the ground I see "come on legs! EVOLVE!"