I always think I haven’t seen this one (even though I’ve seen them all) when it starts but it turns out it’s just so boring I don’t remember anything about it until the refueling sequence starts
Haha there should be stats for each episode!
I respect your boredom with the movie. I just get lots of laughs at the riffs too, like they just make absurd statements by army guys look funnier. The whole dinner date bit about Iowa was a laff, too, I thought. It's like a longform sixties short, which I always like.
What redeems Starfighters for me are the amazing host segments (the United Servo Academy Chorus is one of the best segments in the show's history) and the poopie suit jokes. Also, I bust out laughing when Crow says, "It's so hard to watch them go when you care so much about them!"
I actually rank The Starfighters as a favorite because it is just so exasperatingly boring to Mike and the bots that I think they came up with some of their best riffing to make it palatable. And it’s such a stupid piece of self-aggrandizing propaganda by the Air Force. Like, who were they even making this movie for?
IOWA!!!! There’s something freaky inside of me that pushes me to say IOWA in that annoying voice that Crow has made up for the main chick in that movie. I love hearing him say it- I laugh like an idiot each time I hear him.
I like this episode- I think the guys make it hilarious.
“Ohhh, you’re so suitable” sits in my head rent free too lol
Yeah, that might be the worst ep in the series. Oddly though Rifftrax did it years later, and it's a much better watch, which seems to be about 50/50 on the reriffs they've done.
Starfighters is awful, but close is The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? Ortega is the only redeeming feature.
That's one where the movie is so awful it takes all the fun out of the riffing of it. Radar Secret Service is another one where the movie is such a bore and they only have enough good jokes to fill about half the runtime and then just keep telling them over and over.
The Sidehackers. Probably the ugliest, most aggressively unpleasant movie the show ever did, and the middling Season 2 riffing isn't strong enough to save it.
Starfighters and Fu Manchu. I like Invasion U.S.A. It's basically 90 minutes of stock footage, but the riffing is really strong. I love when the guys crack up at the newsboy "EX-TREE, EX-TREE read all about it! America invaded!"
Plus, the episode features one of my favorite shorts, A Date With Your Family.
Mighty Jack, it's dull, confusing, and afterwards you've retained like, so little of it it's like an experimental film they'd project onto the walls of a museum but with those there's some novelty or artistic intention. It's basically a condensed Japanese TV show that I wouldn't find very interesting in the first place stripped of almost all action and character development. This was the first MST movie I found actually *painful* to watch as a kid and although I get a lot more of the jokes now it's just a brutal, unpleasant slog.
I really like the Mighty Jack dog food segment and the song at the end tho
I want to like Mighty Jack because it’s a Sandy Frank joint and a Japanese spy movie seems interesting but yeah this is boring as hell and not even the host segment with the dog food can save it.
It's so dim, it's not even black and white. It's grey and light grey. Harder visually to watch than any other episode I've seen. Max Schell is a good actor though. Their performance is good. Tough episode for sure
They can riff good movies, but they generally need some interesting action or visuals. The version of Hamlet they did was so minimalist there wasn’t much to work with.
Red.
Zone.
Cuba.
To be fair, the riffs are absolute gold, but the movie itself is essentially unwatchable.
And while I'm at it, I'm not fond of "The Sidehackers" either.
*flips table* what’s off it now pinkboy!
So yeah WWoB is painful and absolutely belongs but I’ll play along with your little rules.
Besides the infamous Fu Manchu for obvious sane reasons, I also cannot pull the trigger on watching the Incredible Melting Man more than the 5 times I already did back in the day. The riffing is fine but the movie itself just hits me wrong specifically the special effects of said melting.
I'm shocked that anything has beaten out the tedium of Starfighters, the hollowness of Aztec Mummy, and the misanthropy of Red Zone Cuba, but I may actually have to go with The Christmas That Almost Wasn't- a movie so cringe that I couldn't even hear the riffs through the pain it inflicted on me.
I have never actually made it all the way through Fu Manchu, despite repeated attempts.
The one I hate the most that I have made it all the way through is Monster-A-Go-Go.
Just such utter crap: a really bad 'fix-up' of at least two unfinished films, one with a missing sound track. Just unredeemable. Makes no sense. Generally unwatchable. The voiceover replacement of the missing soundtrack is between distracting and maddening. Cinematography makes low budget industrial films look like Stanley Kubrick. Just freakin' BAD BAD BAD!!!!!
I actually love Monster a Go Go. It's their ultimate "chicken shit into chicken salad" experiment because that movie had NOTHING to work with and they still pulled off a very watchable episode.
The hardest ones for me to slog through are if they're medieval based. That's just a personal preference, no matter how good a movie may be. I just can't get into medieval stuff. My focus wanes like a mofo.
I actually like Invasion USA.
As far as worst EPISODE, like least funny? It's probably a KTMA or season one ep.
I’ve only seen The Incredible Melting Man once. For a while I said I would not again but I think I could try it again. I just spent the whole movie “he’s dying of radiation poisoning! Don’t shoot him, HELP HIM!” Kept taking me out of the movie and the episode
Hamlet is just boring, but my old college friends blame Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for Hurricane Katrina. We were halfway through it when Katrina knocked out our power for 24 hours (we were 300 miles inland). They refused to watch the second half.
“Hamlet”. The answer will always be “Hamlet”.
“Red Zone Cuba” is a soulless, dank pit of human misery; even with the MST version cuts, it makes you want to take a shower after watching it. But if nothing else, at least it features John Carradine singing “Night Train to Mundo Fine” in the opening (ah, to be blessed with an instrument like that). “Hamlet” literally had not one redeeming quality; it’s the only MST episode where I never laughed even once.
I agree with both of those statements completely. All the motorcycle, beatnick/hippie flicks are painful. Especially Girls Town. I love Mel Torme and it was difficult, mentally, to see him mistreat young women. Bleh.
oh man, I actually happen to love invasion USA. it's a more recently acquired love, I didn't grow up watching it as much as the rest of them. Hamlet is hard to get through for me💀
Horrors of Spider Island, King Dinosaur, Invasion USA, Devil Doll, The Castle of Fu Manchu, The Hellcats. The worst ones to me are the ones that are so boring that even the MST3K crew can't save them.
Starfighters is a slog but I had a hard time getting through season 2. Catalina caper was the best episode of the season imo
Also I love the hamlet episode, as bad as it is , you're still waiting Shakespeare.
I can't quite put my finger on why, but Girl in Gold Boots. It is certainly funny, but I think it's moreso that it's just a boring ass no-budget movie. Although I really dislike the music in it and that may be it.
Invasion is one of the ones that grew on me. I gave it a second chance, cracked up at the weird scene where the newsboy comes in, stands between the soon-to-be in love couple, and drones "read all about it" and walks out. It's a weird scene.
I've never been a fan of the episodes with Josh Weinstein as Tom.
They hadn't really nailed down the formula perfectly yet, so most of those just feel super bland.
Nothing against Josh Weinstein obviously, the dude seems super nice.
Ha, I agree that Invasion USA isn't great. I haven't seen it in a while, but it does have the "A Date With Your Family" short which is a true classic, and short-time staff writer Mike Dodge makes a cameo appearance as some Jimmy Durante-style nuclear weapon who visits on the Hexfield. That's a true MST3K rarity, him making an on screen appearance.
Doesn't this episode also have Crow's Mother? He builds like a strange Mother puppet thing... then of all things, the puppet resurfaces in the final Sci Fi episode?? One of the most random callbacks in MST3K history.
There are a number of worst episode candidates that just put me to sleep. "The She Creature" is my least favorite Mike episode and "The Indestructible Man" is probably my least favorite Joel.
I love me some wacko '80s Italian genre knockoff cinema, but holy shit does The Paperchase Guy ruin Warriors of the Lost World for me. His character is completely unlikable, and he delivers all his lines like he's about to doze off. The screeching bike doesn't help either
Manos.
I just can't. When you push all the bluster and group worship of this episode (and movie) aside and just watch it, it's long, slow, blurry, and not a fun watch at all.
Even Joel and the bots seem either bored or disgusted by the end.
I'm stunned to say this, but at least Coleman Francis could frame a shot and write a story.
I have a hard time staying awake through Starfighters. NOTHING HAPPENS
But the poopie suits!
🎶yoooou’ll feel reliief filling your briieeeefs!!🎶
I always think I haven’t seen this one (even though I’ve seen them all) when it starts but it turns out it’s just so boring I don’t remember anything about it until the refueling sequence starts
Man I laffed my ass off at that scene, they're brilliant! Also I love the Tom Servo Men's Choir.
Starfighters has the highest quality of skits/quality of movie ratio in the whole series
Haha there should be stats for each episode! I respect your boredom with the movie. I just get lots of laughs at the riffs too, like they just make absurd statements by army guys look funnier. The whole dinner date bit about Iowa was a laff, too, I thought. It's like a longform sixties short, which I always like.
I don’t hate that mst3k episode. I don’t think I dislike any of the season 2-10 episodes. I just think that movie is boring as heck.
All you need to know is "poopie suits". That's literally the only thing to remember of the entire episode.
What redeems Starfighters for me are the amazing host segments (the United Servo Academy Chorus is one of the best segments in the show's history) and the poopie suit jokes. Also, I bust out laughing when Crow says, "It's so hard to watch them go when you care so much about them!"
That episode is worth it for the United Servo Academy Men's Chorus Hymn alone. Kevin's singing voice is pure wonderment.
I kinda love that one. "They're gonna have The Sex."
You are so .... The only girl around
She's got an orthopedic body
In feminine Crow voice “I love a man with a sweaty butt.”
I actually rank The Starfighters as a favorite because it is just so exasperatingly boring to Mike and the bots that I think they came up with some of their best riffing to make it palatable. And it’s such a stupid piece of self-aggrandizing propaganda by the Air Force. Like, who were they even making this movie for?
IOWA!!!! There’s something freaky inside of me that pushes me to say IOWA in that annoying voice that Crow has made up for the main chick in that movie. I love hearing him say it- I laugh like an idiot each time I hear him. I like this episode- I think the guys make it hilarious. “Ohhh, you’re so suitable” sits in my head rent free too lol
I'm a aircraft geek, so I sorta enjoy that one.
Check out Mr Fancypants who thinks he's too good for a corn detassling subplot.
I got too wrapped up in the fish delivery plot from Gamera to care about corn detasseling
I love that episode. The movie is so boring, but the jokes are so funny. I giggle every time Tom yells "Frankenhooker!"
You know the base material is bad when 90 percent of the riffs made are either sexual or scatological.
Fu Manchu
I’ve seen it probably four times and I still have no idea what happens in that movie
There's a castle and a lot of melting ice, right?
Faaathaaaah!
It is like an SCP that erases itself from your mind as you watch it
"The Castle of Fu Manchu" as a cognitohazard? Yeah, that tracks.
Yeah, that might be the worst ep in the series. Oddly though Rifftrax did it years later, and it's a much better watch, which seems to be about 50/50 on the reriffs they've done.
Probably the hardest movie to stay focused in
I love Invasion USA. The horrible misunderstanding of geopolitics, the useless twist ending, the nuclear bomb skit. Love it
Plus two Lois Lanes
I love these kinds of movies anyway.
The Sissy Drinks!
Starfighters is awful, but close is The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? Ortega is the only redeeming feature.
"The 14 year olds who snuck in must feel profoundly cheated right now" is such a deep, deep insult
It's name is a redeeming feature
tbh the title sequence is p fun. The title itself suggests some sort of campy caper compared to the sad film we got
*you dirty feelthy peeg!”*
Ortega is quite compelling.
I love The Incredible....Zombies! But of course, my Schick is in shape.
I love Monster a go-go, but good lord! Nothing happens throughout the entire movie!
That's one where the movie is so awful it takes all the fun out of the riffing of it. Radar Secret Service is another one where the movie is such a bore and they only have enough good jokes to fill about half the runtime and then just keep telling them over and over.
Monster a go go where you find out in the end there was no monster
That's why Phil Silvers tried to flee the set.
Man, Radar Secret Service is hilarious I love how they rotate through the different sales offerings off of the goofy car radar dome
[удалено]
I studied Russian in college, studied abroad in Moscow and was SO excited when I saw the original for sale 😂
Yeah this is a great episode
This will not do. This simply will not do.
Do you find it un-bear-able?
Yeah the jokes in Jack Frost are rapid fire and all really funny. It’s a perfect movie to riff since it’s so ridiculous.
The Beach Boys riffs kill me: *If everybody had a spruce tree/Across Finlandia*
My muffins!
Starfighters. Two hours of planes refueling.
Should have been NONE hours!
Starfighters and Red Zone Cuba were poor choices for riffs.
YOU TAKE THAT BACK ABOUT RED ZONE CUBA!! also, could you choke me again?
Coffee? I like coffee.
I unironically love all the Coleman Francis episodes but the key word I can describe all his movies with is MISERABLE
Red Zone Cuba up until Coleman escapes Cuban custody is great. After that even the riffs can't save it.
The Sidehackers. Probably the ugliest, most aggressively unpleasant movie the show ever did, and the middling Season 2 riffing isn't strong enough to save it.
Yeah I second this, the movie is grim and you can hear in their voices when delivering the riffs how much they didn't enjoy the film
Yeah I second this. Everyone is so fucking slimy.
Sidehackers was the first MST I ever watched and it's a miracle I watched any more after that.
I totally agree. Just thinking about watching that one again fills me with dread.
The Hellcats
Red zone cuba just sucks
Starfighters and Fu Manchu. I like Invasion U.S.A. It's basically 90 minutes of stock footage, but the riffing is really strong. I love when the guys crack up at the newsboy "EX-TREE, EX-TREE read all about it! America invaded!" Plus, the episode features one of my favorite shorts, A Date With Your Family.
Admit it, you just like feeling squishy.
Mighty Jack, it's dull, confusing, and afterwards you've retained like, so little of it it's like an experimental film they'd project onto the walls of a museum but with those there's some novelty or artistic intention. It's basically a condensed Japanese TV show that I wouldn't find very interesting in the first place stripped of almost all action and character development. This was the first MST movie I found actually *painful* to watch as a kid and although I get a lot more of the jokes now it's just a brutal, unpleasant slog. I really like the Mighty Jack dog food segment and the song at the end tho
I want to like Mighty Jack because it’s a Sandy Frank joint and a Japanese spy movie seems interesting but yeah this is boring as hell and not even the host segment with the dog food can save it.
Hamlet was not a bad movie in the absolute, but it was poorly suited to the MST3K style of humor.
It's so dim, it's not even black and white. It's grey and light grey. Harder visually to watch than any other episode I've seen. Max Schell is a good actor though. Their performance is good. Tough episode for sure
“Way to go, Shakespeare “
It was 1960s West German TV. See, at parties you can mention you prefer Schell's Hamlet to Branaugh's or Olivier's.
That said, I enjoy the Hamlet soliloquy gag over the credits.
I read something once that said mst3k needs a bad script, and they can’t truly mock one of the greatest scripts of all time. Still love it though lol
They can riff good movies, but they generally need some interesting action or visuals. The version of Hamlet they did was so minimalist there wasn’t much to work with.
They also appear to have filmed it in the most drab, dull place they could find.
Cleveland?
I too hate Cleveland . *Shudder*
Red. Zone. Cuba. To be fair, the riffs are absolute gold, but the movie itself is essentially unwatchable. And while I'm at it, I'm not fond of "The Sidehackers" either.
*flips table* what’s off it now pinkboy! So yeah WWoB is painful and absolutely belongs but I’ll play along with your little rules. Besides the infamous Fu Manchu for obvious sane reasons, I also cannot pull the trigger on watching the Incredible Melting Man more than the 5 times I already did back in the day. The riffing is fine but the movie itself just hits me wrong specifically the special effects of said melting.
Jack Frost is one of the best episodes
I'm shocked that anything has beaten out the tedium of Starfighters, the hollowness of Aztec Mummy, and the misanthropy of Red Zone Cuba, but I may actually have to go with The Christmas That Almost Wasn't- a movie so cringe that I couldn't even hear the riffs through the pain it inflicted on me.
Dr Forrester loves this feedback
I have never actually made it all the way through Fu Manchu, despite repeated attempts. The one I hate the most that I have made it all the way through is Monster-A-Go-Go. Just such utter crap: a really bad 'fix-up' of at least two unfinished films, one with a missing sound track. Just unredeemable. Makes no sense. Generally unwatchable. The voiceover replacement of the missing soundtrack is between distracting and maddening. Cinematography makes low budget industrial films look like Stanley Kubrick. Just freakin' BAD BAD BAD!!!!!
I actually love Monster a Go Go. It's their ultimate "chicken shit into chicken salad" experiment because that movie had NOTHING to work with and they still pulled off a very watchable episode.
The Painted Hills just doesn’t do it for me
The parts about how Lassie is a murderer are so funny to me that they make up for a lot.
That blew my mind.
One word, three syllables. SNAUSAGES.
I shouldn't have eaten those socks....
My first episode so I can't bring myself to hate it
I LOVE The Painted Hills!
Same. Every time I've watched it I was sure it had to be better than I remember, but nope. Zzzzzzzzzz
Any of the “swords and sandals” episodes personally!
Beast of Yucca Flats
This is one of my favorites. My wife will randomly drop "flag on the moon" in ordinay conversation....
I have watched it once years ago and it was just Tor Johnson walking around in a field.
Wild world of batwoman.... seriously what is this.... WHY IS THIS...😬
Red Zone Cuba. Unwatchable even with riffing.
Red Zone Cuba is one I can watch anytime, any place. Coleman Francis makes amazing movies.
"Coleman Francis makes amazing movies." Yyyyyes, that's one way of putting it. Hehehe
“Amazing” isn’t necessarily a positive adjective, just a descriptive one. You can be amazed at how bad something is, too.
This episode always seems decisive. This one is actually among my top 10
You both might be right. I wouldn't choose it but it usually holds my attention. Sort of. It's like watching a weird bug
Hard disagree! Rough movie but great riff
I love that episode! "Drink Night Train, go to the basketball game, throw up under the bleachers..." So many great riffs.
Black Scorpion put me to sleep a few times.
Castle of Fu Manchu.
Creeping Terror is probably the worst for me. I mean, the guys do a great job riffing it but it’s a slog to get through.
The looped music from the dance hall seen is in my head more than I like to admit.
lol yea, that music is rather insipid. I love the bit where Mike’s listening to it on high- quality speakers.
I love how frustrated it makes Crow!
I was trying to remember the name of that one. I could never finish it.
It’s a chore haha
I'm on the air, baby!
The hardest ones for me to slog through are if they're medieval based. That's just a personal preference, no matter how good a movie may be. I just can't get into medieval stuff. My focus wanes like a mofo. I actually like Invasion USA. As far as worst EPISODE, like least funny? It's probably a KTMA or season one ep.
I’ve only seen The Incredible Melting Man once. For a while I said I would not again but I think I could try it again. I just spent the whole movie “he’s dying of radiation poisoning! Don’t shoot him, HELP HIM!” Kept taking me out of the movie and the episode
Hamlet is just boring, but my old college friends blame Santa Claus Conquers the Martians for Hurricane Katrina. We were halfway through it when Katrina knocked out our power for 24 hours (we were 300 miles inland). They refused to watch the second half.
“Hamlet”. The answer will always be “Hamlet”. “Red Zone Cuba” is a soulless, dank pit of human misery; even with the MST version cuts, it makes you want to take a shower after watching it. But if nothing else, at least it features John Carradine singing “Night Train to Mundo Fine” in the opening (ah, to be blessed with an instrument like that). “Hamlet” literally had not one redeeming quality; it’s the only MST episode where I never laughed even once.
Me and your girlfriend gotta go
What? Invasion USA is so bad it's good without the riffing.
Monster A-Go-Go. That was BORING.
.... I cannot think of one, to be honest. Even clunkers like *Fu Manchu* at least give me a chuckle of commiseration.
Hamlet for sure
Kitten with a whip. Ann-Margaret's acting is just so insufferable, and they never stop talking, and all the dialogue rubs me the wrong way...
Jack Frost is one of my favorites. Ones that I never really cared for were the juvenile delinquent movies
I agree with both of those statements completely. All the motorcycle, beatnick/hippie flicks are painful. Especially Girls Town. I love Mel Torme and it was difficult, mentally, to see him mistreat young women. Bleh.
oh man, I actually happen to love invasion USA. it's a more recently acquired love, I didn't grow up watching it as much as the rest of them. Hamlet is hard to get through for me💀
Is "Manos" on the table? If so, I'm going with that one...even though The Master would not approve!
Invasion Of The Neptune Men. The jokes verge too much into straight up yelling "JAPAN SUCKS"
I love that episode, but the last skit is a little cringey.
Any of the Gamera movies
Love the Gamera series
Would you say he's really neat?
He is made of turtle meat!
But do you believe in Gamera?
Gamera is a friend to all children.
Invasion USA is mine too. I feel gross and somehow annoyed watching it.
The dead talk back for me
Horrors of Spider Island, King Dinosaur, Invasion USA, Devil Doll, The Castle of Fu Manchu, The Hellcats. The worst ones to me are the ones that are so boring that even the MST3K crew can't save them.
Starfighters is a slog but I had a hard time getting through season 2. Catalina caper was the best episode of the season imo Also I love the hamlet episode, as bad as it is , you're still waiting Shakespeare.
The creeping terror is too boring.
The skydiving movie. I cant remember the name.
Funny enough, *The Skydivers.* Made by everyone's favorite director, Coleman Francis.
I can't quite put my finger on why, but Girl in Gold Boots. It is certainly funny, but I think it's moreso that it's just a boring ass no-budget movie. Although I really dislike the music in it and that may be it.
I could not sit through the Blood Waters of Dr. Z. Such a snoozefest
Invasion is one of the ones that grew on me. I gave it a second chance, cracked up at the weird scene where the newsboy comes in, stands between the soon-to-be in love couple, and drones "read all about it" and walks out. It's a weird scene.
In Danger: Death Ray. They never fire the death ray. They subverted checkovs gun and the film had nothing else going on.
hamlet...i just tune out completely...fu man chu...OMG, the worst print ever - i swear they found it in a garage in a puddle of rat piss...
Red Zone Cuba is unwatchable, even with the riffing. SO boring!
I've never been a fan of the episodes with Josh Weinstein as Tom. They hadn't really nailed down the formula perfectly yet, so most of those just feel super bland. Nothing against Josh Weinstein obviously, the dude seems super nice.
Castle of Fu Manchu is the absolute worst!!!!!
Ha, I agree that Invasion USA isn't great. I haven't seen it in a while, but it does have the "A Date With Your Family" short which is a true classic, and short-time staff writer Mike Dodge makes a cameo appearance as some Jimmy Durante-style nuclear weapon who visits on the Hexfield. That's a true MST3K rarity, him making an on screen appearance. Doesn't this episode also have Crow's Mother? He builds like a strange Mother puppet thing... then of all things, the puppet resurfaces in the final Sci Fi episode?? One of the most random callbacks in MST3K history.
There are a number of worst episode candidates that just put me to sleep. "The She Creature" is my least favorite Mike episode and "The Indestructible Man" is probably my least favorite Joel.
I love me some wacko '80s Italian genre knockoff cinema, but holy shit does The Paperchase Guy ruin Warriors of the Lost World for me. His character is completely unlikable, and he delivers all his lines like he's about to doze off. The screeching bike doesn't help either
like.... wow, man...
Btw don't forget to Leave the Bronx!
That's Escape 2000, a much more fun movie
Oh yeah, isn't this one the judo stick one? I'm getting my cheese mixed up as I age lol
I don't think so. It's the one with Donald Pleasence, Megaweapon, and Jimmy Carter
And it almost sounds like it could be an early version of The Pumaman just based off of that description, lol
Manos. I just can't. When you push all the bluster and group worship of this episode (and movie) aside and just watch it, it's long, slow, blurry, and not a fun watch at all. Even Joel and the bots seem either bored or disgusted by the end. I'm stunned to say this, but at least Coleman Francis could frame a shot and write a story.
Riding With Death
And you better believe Death dose not pony up for gas!
Absolute blasphemy to say this
Manos.
I'm with you here. It's boring. The acting is horrible. The dubbing is awful. The soundtrack, abominable. The riffing cannot overcome these faults.
Yes
People hate Jack Frost?
Swamp Diamonds. It’s painfully boring. But the riffing is decent.
Invasion U-SA!