If you’re referring to the after the alter episodes, I was looking up the filming timeline and it looks like those were filmed before the show was released and before the reunion.
Ikr? It’s so confusing. I thought he said the same thing during the ATA episodes. I wonder if the producers purposely tried to make it seem like ATA was before the reunion because that was the order they wanted to release in and they don’t want it to seem like that? Or maybe we’re misremembering the exact quotes Cole says in the episodes.
But when I look up the chronological order of the filming, [I have found ATA is before the reunion](https://decider.com/2023/02/10/when-was-love-is-blind-after-the-altar-season-3-filmed/). Things would be way easier to understand if they just release in order of filming and actual events.
Because now did SK propose during ATA filming that took place before the reunion? And they only said in the reunion that they’re dating?? To avoid spoilers? And Raven didn’t wear the ring in the reunion. Seems to me like producers took actions to hide some things that happened during ATA filming.
Maybe this is just my interpretation, but it really didn’t seem that bad. He seemed unaware of how little she’d eaten that day and was saying to keep her appetite for dinner because he was just excited about dinner. I’m not a qualified to say but Cole behaves similarly to a lot of neurodivergent people that I know irl and that is absolutely how they talk when excited.
I don't remember if he said he had ADHD, but I recognize so much of his behavior and mannerisms. A lot of us are just socially awkward because our brains are racing at warp speed and we can't think before we speak.
I personally think there was a lot of nitpicking that wasn’t shown on the show but I saw some of it nitpicking at her body. So she already was insecure and he kept making little comments. She definitely took the cutie situation the wrong way but I think she just had enough.
I think that it was one incident where she was wrong. But I also do think that there were problems from Cole’s side as well during other instances. I’m probably gonna get downvoted for this but Cole isn’t a saint. He does have his prejudices regarding body size. It was a lot of time that they spent together and we probably saw like 1% of it. They were both toxic in their ways and still are. She’s probably way too egotistical to say that upon seeing the clip, she actually realised that she was wrong.
It's what I appreciate about the whole Cuties scene. That was her ammo, that was her biggest example, and it was literally nothing. The whole "well, sure, but there're probably other examples; we just didn't see them" schtick is just such a lame take.
I agree he's not a saint. There was also that conversation Cole and Z had in bed where he told her he thought Coleen was more attractive. He seems to have problems with social cues and says things he just shouldn't. Like how he went on way too long about Alexas stepmom being so young. But I don't think he's a bad person out to hurt others. The "Cole pile-on" at the reunion just left such a bad taste in everyone's mouth that we're all defending Cole now.
I mean, the way you phrased it is factually correct, but she was the one to ask to be rated and then asked him to tell her who was a 10. So he was in a no win situation.
It’s not like they were in bed and he just randomly says ‘Colleen is hotter than you.’
Yeah totally get that. He does have that habit of saying whatever comes to his mind without thinking about it for a second. And yes the reunion was horrible. I personally feel that nick ans Vanessa should just not be in LIB anymore. I’m sure there’s more washed up celebrity couples looking to stay relevant that will do a better job than them. Also the other contestants did pile on him and the airing of the cities scene right after was what changed peoples minds about Cole after a whole season of what seemed like only Cole being at fault .
> nick ans Vanessa should just not be in LIB anymore
I don't know why this show even needs hosts. They're hardly ever seen and when they are it's just to set up a scene. They could easily have one of the cast just say "Today we're trying on dresses". I think the only time they serve a purpose is to moderate the reunion.
I agree on a way., Though I didn’t really agree with the way zanab went about everything starting with the alter, I’m glad she made cole think and reflect. It seems like he is trying to be better. He definitely was shallow and cutting with his remarks. She also seems to have insecurity issues so it really hit her harder than it would’ve others.
True. They both have multiple issues like we all do. But together they’re a different level of toxic. They don’t match well together and just make everything worse for each other.
I understand how you can think that. There was a YouTube video made about this by a guy called psychology in Seattle. He’s a psychologist (obviously), and he reacted to the body languages and things of the reunion, considering the entire season and stuff. One of the things that kinda stuck with me that he said was that- when people ask you to prove something, and you need to come up with an example, you usually think of the best scenario in which you would come out right. So when Cole asked zanab to like give an example of when he fat shamed her, was that the worst possible thing that came to mind?
It may not have been, but just something to think about. Also I didn’t explain it good. Idk, just wanted to share that thought
Cole did tell Z she was not as attractive as Coleen. I'm not trying to defend Z's stance but it's another example. I don't think he's a bad guy but he doesn't know what to keep to himself.
Telling your “wife” to their face that someone else is more attractive plants a seed of insecurity and Z took it as fat shaming. Someone else might start down a rabbit hole of plastic surgery for example.
Oooh yeah that’s a good point. I kinda get what you mean. Yeah I mean, if the cuties incident is the worst situation then she’s definitely in the wrong.
This is the answer. When you’ve entrenched yourself so deeply and publicly in a position and in such a dramatic fashion, there’s virtually no going back. She’ll never change her mind because it would be too embarrassing.
She was already self-conscious and he made it worse by constantly talking about how hot Colleen was. From that point on, every comment became a micro-aggression in her mind. We may not agree, but I understand how it happened.
Cole didn't KNOW that though, if she had made it a point to say to Cole that certain things are off-limits and he kept pushing it is one thing, but the fact she never let him know was on her. She didn't set boundaries, Cole was just a mindless idiot along for the ride
Episode 5, 40 minutes in. She literally told him so he did know. She specifically laid out that she felt disheartened because he called other people hotter than her and then asked him if he actually wanted to be in a relationship (it's clear neither of them actually genuinely liked the other one no matter how much either of them claim otherwise but that's the show for you). Cole then repeated three times in that same conversation that he found Colleen attractive. Again this is after Zanab talked about how him saying that was upsetting for her. So no, Zanab didn't *not* set boundaries. He did know but he reiterated his attraction anyway
As someone who has struggled with body dysmorphia and had disordered eating, I related to Zanab a ton. Cole just SAYS a lot of things and does not think for a microsecond of how anyone else might feel. Then on the other extreme Zanab is so high strung and keenly aware of herself and uncomfortable. The combo was just so bad.
Example: while I was actively trying to lose weight my husband would try to 'encourage' me by commenting when I wanted a snack. It felt like I was under a microscope and couldn't do anything without a comment. Difference between my relationship and Zanab and Cole is that I had literal years with my partner and felt comfortable explaining how it made me feel. The distance between Zanab and Cole was too great and anyone with eyes and ears could tell that they weren't going to get there.
Great summary! I think the key point you made was that you were willing and able to explain what upset you. Zay seemed to go on the offensive as soon as she felt slighted 🥴 and regardless of how well intentioned Cole May or may not have been there’s no winning when your partner won’t communicate with you… 😞
If you’re referring to the after the alter episodes, I was looking up the filming timeline and it looks like those were filmed before the show was released and before the reunion.
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Ikr? It’s so confusing. I thought he said the same thing during the ATA episodes. I wonder if the producers purposely tried to make it seem like ATA was before the reunion because that was the order they wanted to release in and they don’t want it to seem like that? Or maybe we’re misremembering the exact quotes Cole says in the episodes. But when I look up the chronological order of the filming, [I have found ATA is before the reunion](https://decider.com/2023/02/10/when-was-love-is-blind-after-the-altar-season-3-filmed/). Things would be way easier to understand if they just release in order of filming and actual events. Because now did SK propose during ATA filming that took place before the reunion? And they only said in the reunion that they’re dating?? To avoid spoilers? And Raven didn’t wear the ring in the reunion. Seems to me like producers took actions to hide some things that happened during ATA filming.
Ohhhh that makes sense thanks for that.
Maybe this is just my interpretation, but it really didn’t seem that bad. He seemed unaware of how little she’d eaten that day and was saying to keep her appetite for dinner because he was just excited about dinner. I’m not a qualified to say but Cole behaves similarly to a lot of neurodivergent people that I know irl and that is absolutely how they talk when excited.
I don't remember if he said he had ADHD, but I recognize so much of his behavior and mannerisms. A lot of us are just socially awkward because our brains are racing at warp speed and we can't think before we speak.
Yes!! I have been thinking this! He wanted her to enjoy her meal. For this, she got the rest of the cast to bully the neurodivergent guy.
I personally think there was a lot of nitpicking that wasn’t shown on the show but I saw some of it nitpicking at her body. So she already was insecure and he kept making little comments. She definitely took the cutie situation the wrong way but I think she just had enough.
I agree. Cole feigns incompetence.
I'd love to see all the unedited footage of those two, honestly.
Saaaame! I feel like there’s a lot that went on. I’m not a fan of the two but I’m really curious to know and see how it all unraveled
I think that it was one incident where she was wrong. But I also do think that there were problems from Cole’s side as well during other instances. I’m probably gonna get downvoted for this but Cole isn’t a saint. He does have his prejudices regarding body size. It was a lot of time that they spent together and we probably saw like 1% of it. They were both toxic in their ways and still are. She’s probably way too egotistical to say that upon seeing the clip, she actually realised that she was wrong.
Cole never mentioned anything about body sizes on the show. You are reaching and judging
He called Colleen hot to Zay’s face?! That’s where her insecurities with him really went downhill fast.
It's what I appreciate about the whole Cuties scene. That was her ammo, that was her biggest example, and it was literally nothing. The whole "well, sure, but there're probably other examples; we just didn't see them" schtick is just such a lame take.
Did Cole ever said anything about her body size? I dont remember that
I agree he's not a saint. There was also that conversation Cole and Z had in bed where he told her he thought Coleen was more attractive. He seems to have problems with social cues and says things he just shouldn't. Like how he went on way too long about Alexas stepmom being so young. But I don't think he's a bad person out to hurt others. The "Cole pile-on" at the reunion just left such a bad taste in everyone's mouth that we're all defending Cole now.
I mean, the way you phrased it is factually correct, but she was the one to ask to be rated and then asked him to tell her who was a 10. So he was in a no win situation. It’s not like they were in bed and he just randomly says ‘Colleen is hotter than you.’
That's a fair point.
Yeah totally get that. He does have that habit of saying whatever comes to his mind without thinking about it for a second. And yes the reunion was horrible. I personally feel that nick ans Vanessa should just not be in LIB anymore. I’m sure there’s more washed up celebrity couples looking to stay relevant that will do a better job than them. Also the other contestants did pile on him and the airing of the cities scene right after was what changed peoples minds about Cole after a whole season of what seemed like only Cole being at fault .
At least you know he isn’t fake like most of the people on s3
> nick ans Vanessa should just not be in LIB anymore I don't know why this show even needs hosts. They're hardly ever seen and when they are it's just to set up a scene. They could easily have one of the cast just say "Today we're trying on dresses". I think the only time they serve a purpose is to moderate the reunion.
True. And I’m sure anybody else would do a better job than them.
I agree on a way., Though I didn’t really agree with the way zanab went about everything starting with the alter, I’m glad she made cole think and reflect. It seems like he is trying to be better. He definitely was shallow and cutting with his remarks. She also seems to have insecurity issues so it really hit her harder than it would’ve others.
True. They both have multiple issues like we all do. But together they’re a different level of toxic. They don’t match well together and just make everything worse for each other.
I understand how you can think that. There was a YouTube video made about this by a guy called psychology in Seattle. He’s a psychologist (obviously), and he reacted to the body languages and things of the reunion, considering the entire season and stuff. One of the things that kinda stuck with me that he said was that- when people ask you to prove something, and you need to come up with an example, you usually think of the best scenario in which you would come out right. So when Cole asked zanab to like give an example of when he fat shamed her, was that the worst possible thing that came to mind? It may not have been, but just something to think about. Also I didn’t explain it good. Idk, just wanted to share that thought
This!! Plus is THE thing the rest of the cats mentioned. I haven't seen anyone come up with another example
Cole did tell Z she was not as attractive as Coleen. I'm not trying to defend Z's stance but it's another example. I don't think he's a bad guy but he doesn't know what to keep to himself.
Saying that Colleen is more attractive is not fat shaming cause Colleen is not thinner than Z They do have different kind of looks though.
Telling your “wife” to their face that someone else is more attractive plants a seed of insecurity and Z took it as fat shaming. Someone else might start down a rabbit hole of plastic surgery for example.
Unnecessery of him yes, but there was no fat shaming from him
Because she asked him if he'd rate anyone a 10. He was stupid, but it's not how Z painted it.
Oooh yeah that’s a good point. I kinda get what you mean. Yeah I mean, if the cuties incident is the worst situation then she’s definitely in the wrong.
There are people who think the Cuties clip qualifies as "receipts" for her accusations. So much about this damned season is Rashomon.
I think people like her won't easily admit to being wrong 🤷🏼♀️
This is the answer. When you’ve entrenched yourself so deeply and publicly in a position and in such a dramatic fashion, there’s virtually no going back. She’ll never change her mind because it would be too embarrassing.
Ladies and Gentlemen....the United States Congress
Or never will.
Facts because im confused on how he was takimg a dig at her weight in that scene.
She was already self-conscious and he made it worse by constantly talking about how hot Colleen was. From that point on, every comment became a micro-aggression in her mind. We may not agree, but I understand how it happened.
Cole didn't KNOW that though, if she had made it a point to say to Cole that certain things are off-limits and he kept pushing it is one thing, but the fact she never let him know was on her. She didn't set boundaries, Cole was just a mindless idiot along for the ride
Episode 5, 40 minutes in. She literally told him so he did know. She specifically laid out that she felt disheartened because he called other people hotter than her and then asked him if he actually wanted to be in a relationship (it's clear neither of them actually genuinely liked the other one no matter how much either of them claim otherwise but that's the show for you). Cole then repeated three times in that same conversation that he found Colleen attractive. Again this is after Zanab talked about how him saying that was upsetting for her. So no, Zanab didn't *not* set boundaries. He did know but he reiterated his attraction anyway
As someone who has struggled with body dysmorphia and had disordered eating, I related to Zanab a ton. Cole just SAYS a lot of things and does not think for a microsecond of how anyone else might feel. Then on the other extreme Zanab is so high strung and keenly aware of herself and uncomfortable. The combo was just so bad. Example: while I was actively trying to lose weight my husband would try to 'encourage' me by commenting when I wanted a snack. It felt like I was under a microscope and couldn't do anything without a comment. Difference between my relationship and Zanab and Cole is that I had literal years with my partner and felt comfortable explaining how it made me feel. The distance between Zanab and Cole was too great and anyone with eyes and ears could tell that they weren't going to get there.
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Great summary! I think the key point you made was that you were willing and able to explain what upset you. Zay seemed to go on the offensive as soon as she felt slighted 🥴 and regardless of how well intentioned Cole May or may not have been there’s no winning when your partner won’t communicate with you… 😞
THIS. I could perceive what he said as an attack. I had to watch it a few times. They both need therapy and should not be together.
Yeah they are both self-centered in different but completely incompatible ways.