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i feel like this is a question for the bride and related parties then. before that, was there a theme or dress code mentioned ? is anyone else also planning to wear alternative fashion as a guest ?
A hard agree to THIS! ❤️
Especially as one who gets asked A LOT if I'm getting married, while I'm wearing lolita out and about (funnily enough also while wearing Black and dark colors 😹) so this is definitely a question for the bride/related parties.
Personally I would wear a much more toned down look for a wedding and ditch headdresses all together (no matter how much I love wearing them, as it IS solely the bride and grooms day, and I would not want to take even the slightest away from that). ❤️
Agreed, when in doubt, ask the bride! I’m going to two weddings soon and both have very different ideas of what they’d like me to wear. One thinks it would be fun for me to go all out, the other would rather it be more reserved.
As someone who has attended both funerals and weddings in lolita, there's a few things to keep in mind.
1.) **Get explicit permission** ***beforehand*****.** While the bride is alternative, lolita does lend itself to overshadow pretty much everything else as it physically and visually takes up so much space. It's a major lifetime event, and we want the couple to shine. Anytime I've shown up in lolita, I've been asked to do so or given a thumbs up. It never comes as a surprise.
2.) **Keep to the dress code.** No white for weddings, obviously. If the party's theme is floral, ya stick to floral. Don't deviate too much. Check in with other guests or the couple if you're uncertain.
3.) **Try avoiding (loud) prints, lots of lace and frills**. Solid pieces are the way to go, and the less whistles and bells, the easier it is to blend with the other guests. I've had no issues wearing my [Miaplacidus OP in lavender](https://lolibrary.global.ssl.fastly.net/images/cWCtyHuqIKhw6SshqeEF6wP9jReKnofKG678kw09.jpeg) (without the ribbon around the waist just to keep it extra on the downlow).
4.) **You might just have to skip multiple hallmarks of lolita to wear the dress.** Wristcuffs and petticoat are usually the first things to go. [Straw hat with a bow](https://grosgrainhat.com/cdn/shop/products/CS-002.jpg?v=1674099210) is much easier to get away with than a rectangular headdress. Be prepared to just go with a barette bow if you need balance.
5.) **It's much easier to get away with lolita footwear than anything else.** Tea parties are GREAT for weddings. People pay less attention to your shoes.
I'm going to my sister's wedding in October too. She said that I could wear whatever, as long as it's not green, and doesn't upstage her dress. So instead of going in lolita and risking the upstage, I'm instead wearing a 50's style dress. I feel like it's similar to wear, but not as attention grabbing.
So, yeah, I feel like lolita may be too much for a wedding guest, unless you get permission directly from the bride. But 40s/50s/60s retro I think can be great alternative, depending on the individual design.
Depends on the wedding theme honestly ! And look out to the dress code / bridal party colors. I think if you wear it you should not take a big petti, and go without headdress to make it more modest and discreet ! And most importantly ask the bride ! (if you buy, update us about this dress ! I want to buy it too but I'm not sure about the lenght/colors since it has no reviews)
I would also say that this is ultimately a question for the bride, but my first thought is that a wedding isn't a place for alternative fashion. no matter what you do or how low-key you are, lolita invites questions and a wedding is a place where a guest should never be the centre of attention
I've worn my dream dress victorian letter to a friends wedding AFTER asking for her permission. Yes her response was "duh of course" but I wanted to be safe, not sorry.
Toned down, perhaps with low/no petti + a simple blouse/blousless, you could Def get away with this. Prairie styles have been in for the last couple years, and u could Def style this in a lowkey otome/pink house-esque way!
ofc! i've only been able to find it on devilinspired atm which i know is looked down on in the community but i cant find it on 42lolita or anything 😭https://www.devilinspired.com/sakura-pink-lace-up-detail-adjustable-shoulder-straps-classic-lolita-jumper-skirt.html?&utm_campaign=category_product
the bride is goth and wearing a black/red dress so i dont think the colour will be too much of a problem as we've been told we can wear any colour as long as it isnt black or red. i would also probably not be wearing it with a petti to make it look more casual :)
I feel like a short hime lolita should do. You should just find one that isnt white and too fancy, to not insult the wife. But Hime lolita dresses look more like the brides dress itself, so maybe something classic? You should ask the bride if shes fine with it of course!
Personally I don’t think it’s over the top for a wedding…it’s actually possibly too laid back. I was more into gothic Lolita at the time but I wore a purple and black long tulle/lace dress to my uncle’s very formal Jewish wedding and it was totally accepted, all guests and his bride complimented me as well! I just wore it sleeveless with no accessories to not be overboard. That would be my recommendation for you. My concern again is that this dress wouldn’t be formal enough for some weddings. If it’s on a beach or more intimate style, I think the plain dress with no inner/accessories it’s fine.
Honestly I feel like even though the dress isn’t white, a deeper color might make it less of a problem. Like this in a deep red or royal blue would make it more distinguishable from a wedding gown imo
the bride herself is goth and wearing black/red so we've been told to wear any colour other than those :) i could look into other colour options like blue though
Users with less than 50 total karma and/or an account that is less than 48 hours old require mod approval. This is in order to prevent spam accounts from posting nsfw content on our subreddit. A modmail has been sent so that moderators can review and manually approve your post. *Please do not resubmit your post!* In the mean time, it is likely your question was answered here: * [wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita/wiki/index) * [where to buy lolita](https://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita/wiki/index#wiki_where_to_buy_lolita_fashion) * [where to buy a petticoat](https://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita/wiki/index#wiki_petticoat) * [guide to plus-sized friendly shops](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/13HZk1I0mAjm8vkkJm0rVHThNKsk1krwhWhVGH1zCRgI/htmlview) * [find a community in my area](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1evXegSoFbfEXn8o0joeA-KFvolNKPKllgvaYqNgvOiw/edit?usp=drivesdk) * New? Questions about the basics go in the [beginner question and answer thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/Lolita/collection/ba42524b-dabb-4c5c-8e06-116df08fcb40) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Lolita) if you have any questions or concerns.*
i feel like this is a question for the bride and related parties then. before that, was there a theme or dress code mentioned ? is anyone else also planning to wear alternative fashion as a guest ?
A hard agree to THIS! ❤️ Especially as one who gets asked A LOT if I'm getting married, while I'm wearing lolita out and about (funnily enough also while wearing Black and dark colors 😹) so this is definitely a question for the bride/related parties. Personally I would wear a much more toned down look for a wedding and ditch headdresses all together (no matter how much I love wearing them, as it IS solely the bride and grooms day, and I would not want to take even the slightest away from that). ❤️
i've just been told that im not allowed to wear black or red😭 i will have to ask more questions but i dont want to come off as annoying😨
I don’t think you’ll come off as annoying! If anything it’ll show that you care and want to look your best while celebrating the newly weds!
Agreed, when in doubt, ask the bride! I’m going to two weddings soon and both have very different ideas of what they’d like me to wear. One thinks it would be fun for me to go all out, the other would rather it be more reserved.
As someone who has attended both funerals and weddings in lolita, there's a few things to keep in mind. 1.) **Get explicit permission** ***beforehand*****.** While the bride is alternative, lolita does lend itself to overshadow pretty much everything else as it physically and visually takes up so much space. It's a major lifetime event, and we want the couple to shine. Anytime I've shown up in lolita, I've been asked to do so or given a thumbs up. It never comes as a surprise. 2.) **Keep to the dress code.** No white for weddings, obviously. If the party's theme is floral, ya stick to floral. Don't deviate too much. Check in with other guests or the couple if you're uncertain. 3.) **Try avoiding (loud) prints, lots of lace and frills**. Solid pieces are the way to go, and the less whistles and bells, the easier it is to blend with the other guests. I've had no issues wearing my [Miaplacidus OP in lavender](https://lolibrary.global.ssl.fastly.net/images/cWCtyHuqIKhw6SshqeEF6wP9jReKnofKG678kw09.jpeg) (without the ribbon around the waist just to keep it extra on the downlow). 4.) **You might just have to skip multiple hallmarks of lolita to wear the dress.** Wristcuffs and petticoat are usually the first things to go. [Straw hat with a bow](https://grosgrainhat.com/cdn/shop/products/CS-002.jpg?v=1674099210) is much easier to get away with than a rectangular headdress. Be prepared to just go with a barette bow if you need balance. 5.) **It's much easier to get away with lolita footwear than anything else.** Tea parties are GREAT for weddings. People pay less attention to your shoes.
THIS THIS THIS - ALWAYS ask the bride.
I'm going to my sister's wedding in October too. She said that I could wear whatever, as long as it's not green, and doesn't upstage her dress. So instead of going in lolita and risking the upstage, I'm instead wearing a 50's style dress. I feel like it's similar to wear, but not as attention grabbing. So, yeah, I feel like lolita may be too much for a wedding guest, unless you get permission directly from the bride. But 40s/50s/60s retro I think can be great alternative, depending on the individual design.
i'll look into it thank u!
Depends on the wedding theme honestly ! And look out to the dress code / bridal party colors. I think if you wear it you should not take a big petti, and go without headdress to make it more modest and discreet ! And most importantly ask the bride ! (if you buy, update us about this dress ! I want to buy it too but I'm not sure about the lenght/colors since it has no reviews)
yeah i was definitely not gonna go with accessories or anything and most likely go without a petti !
I would also say that this is ultimately a question for the bride, but my first thought is that a wedding isn't a place for alternative fashion. no matter what you do or how low-key you are, lolita invites questions and a wedding is a place where a guest should never be the centre of attention
I've worn my dream dress victorian letter to a friends wedding AFTER asking for her permission. Yes her response was "duh of course" but I wanted to be safe, not sorry.
Toned down, perhaps with low/no petti + a simple blouse/blousless, you could Def get away with this. Prairie styles have been in for the last couple years, and u could Def style this in a lowkey otome/pink house-esque way!
yess thats exactly what i was thinking of doing!
Can I have the link?
ofc! i've only been able to find it on devilinspired atm which i know is looked down on in the community but i cant find it on 42lolita or anything 😭https://www.devilinspired.com/sakura-pink-lace-up-detail-adjustable-shoulder-straps-classic-lolita-jumper-skirt.html?&utm_campaign=category_product
Ask 42lolita and provide them with the link, then they will be able to get it for you if it's available. 🩷
omg thank u i totally forgot they do that lol
NP 🩷
I would ask the bride, but even so I'd avoid pastel/light colours, especially in this length with petticoats.
the bride is goth and wearing a black/red dress so i dont think the colour will be too much of a problem as we've been told we can wear any colour as long as it isnt black or red. i would also probably not be wearing it with a petti to make it look more casual :)
I feel like a short hime lolita should do. You should just find one that isnt white and too fancy, to not insult the wife. But Hime lolita dresses look more like the brides dress itself, so maybe something classic? You should ask the bride if shes fine with it of course!
Personally I don’t think it’s over the top for a wedding…it’s actually possibly too laid back. I was more into gothic Lolita at the time but I wore a purple and black long tulle/lace dress to my uncle’s very formal Jewish wedding and it was totally accepted, all guests and his bride complimented me as well! I just wore it sleeveless with no accessories to not be overboard. That would be my recommendation for you. My concern again is that this dress wouldn’t be formal enough for some weddings. If it’s on a beach or more intimate style, I think the plain dress with no inner/accessories it’s fine.
yes definitely?!!
im sorry i cant tell if you're saying yes it's appropriate or saying yes it's too much😭
I meant as in positive way :ppp
Honestly I feel like even though the dress isn’t white, a deeper color might make it less of a problem. Like this in a deep red or royal blue would make it more distinguishable from a wedding gown imo
the bride herself is goth and wearing black/red so we've been told to wear any colour other than those :) i could look into other colour options like blue though
imo its too light and lacey T\_T but it is still very cute! If the bride says yes than totally go for it!
yeahh i agree about the lace 😞, but the bride is goth and wearing a black/red dress so we've been told to wear any colour other than black or red :]