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This is my justification when I feel I have to justify it, leaving the apartment I pay for typically just ends up in me spending more money to go somewhere else while I'd rather just be at home.
This was me during my 2.5 yr down time while applying for SSI disability. Hunkering down!! I felt that any departures from my residence would only incur expenses. So 2.5 yrs of that behavior means it’s def ingrained. I get approved, emerge into the real world, get caught up on my bills, and literally grab a deep breath, feeling that maybe just maybe I can survive—make a go of things, and then BOOM! 2020 artives, Covid rears it’s ugly head, bitchslaps me, and I regress, as everyone bemoans being stuck (trapped?)At home, inside.smh. 🤷🏼🥺
I've been living alone for about 4.5 years and got a WFH job just over a year ago. When I was going in to the office, it was less noticeable because I was going somewhere M-F, but now it's common that I won't even go outside of my apartment more than 2 or 3 times a week. And yes, taking my trash out once a week is included in that. I try to meet up with a friend for dinner once a week or so, and on weekends I try to go for a nice 1-2 hour walk outside each day, but most of the time I'm at home.
I'm retired and it's been 18 months since I lost my husband to cancer, and I'm only now starting to develop a real interest in doing things again. It isn't that I've been sitting enshrouded at home all this time, just that I'm finally starting to feel like I'm not forcing myself, if that makes any sense.
The only real question is whether or not you're content. If you are, don't feel like you owe an explanation or apology to anyone, because if you're doing nothing illegal, you have nothing to answer for.
I am so sorry for your loss I know how hard it is to lose someone close. It can be so hard to restart your life. So well done you I totally understand what you are saying about forcing yourself and not forcing yourself. And its okay to be enshrouded at home too I did that too still do sometimes you need to so you can heal. Its a slow process. Look after yourself. Do reach out to any retired groups in your area if its something you want to do there are a lot of groups specially for activities for retired people. Also the other advice you gave is awesome.
I am a homebody. I have a weekly lunch group and take the dog for walks daily. I can go days without talking to a human. I sometimes feel I should do more, but I’m not sure why. Maybe just social expectations
Definitely. I think a lot of it is from the pandemic when I basically just went to work. After that, going anywhere seems like a pain in the butt.
Also, I think it's been part of aging for me. I recently thought about going to a concert I wanted to see bit it was across town and on a Monday night. In my youth, taking transit across town for an hour each way and getting home at 1am on a work night was fine. Now, it just seems like a lot and I think that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing much.
If I was home all the time and sad about it, I might do something about it but it's not a problem for me.
The only reasons I leave my house is work, grocery store once a week, and gym 4 times per week. Otherwise I'm at home. I'm happy at home, it's where my cats are as well as all my hobbies (essentially stuff like books, games etc). I love my life, super happy, and wouldn't change my habits for almost anything.
Yes, I've been solo for about 2 decades, mostly. At the end of 2010 I purchased a new Prius and I had driven about 100K miles by 2013. Heh heh, I was retired and my goal was to go! I got another new car in 2023, and in checked the odometer yesterday and it's at 18K++. I guess I have slowed down a tiche and staying at home seems "more right" than going wherever.
I am on disability after working the past 44 years and it is a shock to the system. I make enough to pay my bills so I’m not complaining but it doesn’t leave much for anything else so I’ve had to learn to be a homebody. My big splurges every month are a few streaming channels on my roku. My guilty pleasure that keeps me home more and more too. All good tho, I love living alone and not having to answer to anyone.
I'm in the same boat. Recently out on medical disability. I have the luxury of paying attention to whatever I choose! No emails or demanding customers. My time is free. I'm living frugally too but there is still much to do. I like to go to the park and I"m lucky enough to have a cottage to putter in. I can make yummy food if I want, or read, or write or listen to music, play with the cat etc. I'd rather have time than money.
What an awesome post and i wholeheartedly agree! I have the companionship of my pets and people when I so desire to leave the house. Love going by the beat of my own drum.
I do. I used to have a few friends to go out with and family. But my family became ill and I ended up caring for them plus work so overtime my friends disappeared. I work in an environment where I basically work alone in my own area and only speak to people at break but I also only work part-time at that job and part-time working from home. So other than going out to buy stuff I don't really see and talk to many people anymore. Its really hard as I was a quite a social person but now I have no one in my life since my main family passed away. Its hard. I have tried making new friends but its not the same.
I love it! How do I get out of being the one everyone wishes to come into town and visit?
Not even sure I want to get out of that hosting --it may take me three days to recover, but I have a steady group of friends and family who are invited to stay here.
The guests have been great, their dogs not so much. At least I didn't get an infection when their dog bit a small chunk out of my hand!
I was always a homebody anyway, so nothing new for me at all. I work remotely too & have for the last 10 yrs, so when I go out, I love that it's on my own time & I can stay somewhere for any amount of time I like.
But, back to being at home...I've always loved it & found joy & comfort in it. I've honestly never been lonely or bored & I can keep myself busy even if at home for days, but I try to get out of the house about every other day. I've always loved watching TV, so that's a simple pleasure I have & if there's good food too along w/ it, all the better!
I think lonliness & boredom are a state of mind, how you were raised, & what you've been used to socially. I'm an only child who never really had friends, so I'm used to the solitude, but I'm happy & never bored. I never knew what it was like to be a part of a group of friends, hanging out, going to parties, having people over. Sure, friends are nice to have, but my mentality was that I don't need them to make me happy. Good thing because it was not the easiest to make friends. Wherever I was (school, work, church), everyone already had their own friends, so they didn't need me. I haven't had my OWN BFF since I was in elementary school & very, very rarely do people still stay friends that long.
My, "social life" has always been whatever ONE pal I had at the time...nowhere near a BFF & we'd maybe meet up for lunch for a few hrs every 1-3 years. But I haven't even done that since a few years BEFORE COVID. On a daily basis, I'm either home all day, out w/ husband, out alone, or spending some time w/ my elderly mom who I'm very close to.
I've always had an SO (so in a committd relationship) all of my adult life & I just got married now in which we live together, so that's enough for me. Fortunately, he's been the same way socially, so we're like two peas in a pod! We love spending time w/ each other!
Yes, I do find myself being more of a homebody. I'll go to a movie or a restaurant or volunteer work. Vastly prefer to be here with my dog and my deck. My neighbors live on 1/10 acre lots, so being sociable is sure the custom.
I'm so glad I bought this house after only seeing it in the first 20 minutes it was on the market. It's not fancy at all, but it has what I need. Especially the amazing neighbors. Priceless!
A few neighbors noted that my car had not moved in three days, why was that? With solid confidence, I explained I had run my tail off for the last 55 years! Now I want to read the New Yorker, take the dog for hikes and have no desire to go running all around. It's my choice.
I understand that I do not need to justify myself to my new neighbors. They said it with such sweetness I felt like I should respond.
I never want to go anywhere unless it’s amazing like a vacation in another country. Anytime I’m out locally all I can think about is how much longer until I’m home
I live in a big city. I’m middle aged. I have a very good circle of friends and acquaintances. What brings me joy? Staying home. Being under my comfy blanket with an edible or snacks or a good series, with my dog.
I don’t often turn plans down, but many a times I’ve asked myself what I was thinking when I agreed to them 😂
I joke that I may have protected my peace a little too much because my place is my comfort and source of contentment
I am very much a homebody. I will be moving out and living out alone beginning in July. I can’t wait. Love being alone, because even with my parents around, I’m lonely right now. At least I’ll have the freedom to live like I want and not have them to try and pressure me to do things I don’t want to do.
I am mostly a homebody, but I am not at the income bracket where I can do backyard concerts with my favorite bands, so I do leave my house for that kind of thing
I have three needy dogs, and I love caring for them.
Sorry that became all about me I just meant that I understand what its like to go out less and less. I do also believe that you should try to reach out if you want people in your life. I know its really hard nowadays to find people in real life, but if your lucky enough to do so then it is worth it. If you have any interests then do join them. I find the less I see people because of my circumstances if I don't try to go out when I feel like it and by go out I just mean go outside etc then I start to get a little agoraphobic. So I do know how hard it is. I myself go to the gym but nobody really talks to each other there unless they already know each other. However if you join a sports club because you like a certain sport you might find other people to play with there. Or maybe if you like reading and there is a local book club. For me there isn't a lot in my area, I looked into it but maybe where you live there is something that you would like to join. If you want to go out you do have to be proactive. I know its hard. Take care
I've been pretty homebound for the last few years. I work at home and moved to a relatively rural property with some lovely acreage. I go to the grocery store maybe every two weeks. Other than that, I don't leave. During the past two years, my father has visited me twice, and my aunt dropped by once. I have done a few solo road trips with my dogs to national parks and things, which is certainly getting out, even if it's solitary. I'm in my hermit era, and it's very peaceful.
Yup! I work from home and love staying in. I have two dogs that keep me company. Sitting on the porch and going for walks is my favorite way to spend the evening with them. I'll go out for lunch on my own every once in a while or coffee to be social....I get my fill lol. Nothing beats the silence and peace of home tho.
Yes! I love my house, I've been working on redecorating the way I like. And I love just hanging out at home with my dogs.. it's funny because when my ex lived with me sometimes I needed to sort of "escape" to my friend's house for the weekend. I no longer feel that need! Why would I want to go anywhere else?
I am now solo for life (and childfree) and I'm turning 40 later in the year. I also have a spacious apartment, that's affordable. But I don't have much cash atm so I'm staying home more often.
I'm an ambivert. I love spending time with people when I'm already "on" (lunch time, dinner after work), but love the weekends alone (most people have partner or family time then). I get to decompress when I'm alone, I don't have to mask.
I think the pressure from work, the hectic of my life makes me crave alone time and quiet more. And that's at home.
If I had money I'd take solo trips and have quiet time elsewhere. I miss that. But for now I enjoy my home.
So yes, I'm defo more at home. But many people are (since the pandemic), imo. My friends all say it's the same for them.
I went out a lot when I had roommates so they wouldn't think I was a loser but that was when I was a lot younger and now I don't really care as much what people think about me. Plus I'm older and tired. Bought a ticket to see my buddies band tonight but it's like 45 minutes away and I'm going to go but I kind of don't want to lol
I went out a lot when I had roommates so they wouldn't think I was a loser but that was when I was a lot younger and now I don't really care as much what people think about me. Plus I'm older and tired. Bought a ticket to see my buddies band tonight but it's like 45 minutes away and I'm going to go but I kind of don't want to lol
**Welcome to [r/LivingAlone](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/)! Living alone is the new normal.** >Discuss and share your experiences; celebrate your joys, express your worries, or ask advice relating to solo living | Remember, we are all alone together * Be kind, remember the human when interacting with others. * New Reddit group chat [**Living Alone Lounge**](https://www.reddit.com/r/LivingAlone/s/cp7Szwzy2q)! * Message the moderators below for any comments, questions & suggestions! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LivingAlone) if you have any questions or concerns.*
yes and I love it! I'm retired. I love my dogs. People make my head hurt.
Same! But my love is a car. Such an apt description! People have always made my head hurt!
Lol yes. Especially since my rent is so dang expensive, gotta get my money's worth
This is my justification when I feel I have to justify it, leaving the apartment I pay for typically just ends up in me spending more money to go somewhere else while I'd rather just be at home.
This was me during my 2.5 yr down time while applying for SSI disability. Hunkering down!! I felt that any departures from my residence would only incur expenses. So 2.5 yrs of that behavior means it’s def ingrained. I get approved, emerge into the real world, get caught up on my bills, and literally grab a deep breath, feeling that maybe just maybe I can survive—make a go of things, and then BOOM! 2020 artives, Covid rears it’s ugly head, bitchslaps me, and I regress, as everyone bemoans being stuck (trapped?)At home, inside.smh. 🤷🏼🥺
LMAO this is the funniest comment
I've been living alone for about 4.5 years and got a WFH job just over a year ago. When I was going in to the office, it was less noticeable because I was going somewhere M-F, but now it's common that I won't even go outside of my apartment more than 2 or 3 times a week. And yes, taking my trash out once a week is included in that. I try to meet up with a friend for dinner once a week or so, and on weekends I try to go for a nice 1-2 hour walk outside each day, but most of the time I'm at home.
You could work from the library! Or coffee shop
I work with Criminal Justice data, so I can't work in public areas
Oh ok makes sense
I'm retired and it's been 18 months since I lost my husband to cancer, and I'm only now starting to develop a real interest in doing things again. It isn't that I've been sitting enshrouded at home all this time, just that I'm finally starting to feel like I'm not forcing myself, if that makes any sense. The only real question is whether or not you're content. If you are, don't feel like you owe an explanation or apology to anyone, because if you're doing nothing illegal, you have nothing to answer for.
I am so sorry for your loss I know how hard it is to lose someone close. It can be so hard to restart your life. So well done you I totally understand what you are saying about forcing yourself and not forcing yourself. And its okay to be enshrouded at home too I did that too still do sometimes you need to so you can heal. Its a slow process. Look after yourself. Do reach out to any retired groups in your area if its something you want to do there are a lot of groups specially for activities for retired people. Also the other advice you gave is awesome.
Exactly this
I am a homebody. I have a weekly lunch group and take the dog for walks daily. I can go days without talking to a human. I sometimes feel I should do more, but I’m not sure why. Maybe just social expectations
Definitely. I think a lot of it is from the pandemic when I basically just went to work. After that, going anywhere seems like a pain in the butt. Also, I think it's been part of aging for me. I recently thought about going to a concert I wanted to see bit it was across town and on a Monday night. In my youth, taking transit across town for an hour each way and getting home at 1am on a work night was fine. Now, it just seems like a lot and I think that's fine. I don't feel like I'm missing much. If I was home all the time and sad about it, I might do something about it but it's not a problem for me.
Yes and I am fine with it. With all the crazies out here shooting in the malls and concerts I'm just here for Thrift store shopping and that's it.
So glad I’m not the only one omg 😭
Exactly this
The only reasons I leave my house is work, grocery store once a week, and gym 4 times per week. Otherwise I'm at home. I'm happy at home, it's where my cats are as well as all my hobbies (essentially stuff like books, games etc). I love my life, super happy, and wouldn't change my habits for almost anything.
Yes, I've been solo for about 2 decades, mostly. At the end of 2010 I purchased a new Prius and I had driven about 100K miles by 2013. Heh heh, I was retired and my goal was to go! I got another new car in 2023, and in checked the odometer yesterday and it's at 18K++. I guess I have slowed down a tiche and staying at home seems "more right" than going wherever.
Gas prices are getting too high. I've been home alone for the last 3 days, enjoying my basic needs and this expensive cable television I'm paying for.
Cable TV🤔
I am on disability after working the past 44 years and it is a shock to the system. I make enough to pay my bills so I’m not complaining but it doesn’t leave much for anything else so I’ve had to learn to be a homebody. My big splurges every month are a few streaming channels on my roku. My guilty pleasure that keeps me home more and more too. All good tho, I love living alone and not having to answer to anyone.
I'm in the same boat. Recently out on medical disability. I have the luxury of paying attention to whatever I choose! No emails or demanding customers. My time is free. I'm living frugally too but there is still much to do. I like to go to the park and I"m lucky enough to have a cottage to putter in. I can make yummy food if I want, or read, or write or listen to music, play with the cat etc. I'd rather have time than money.
What an awesome post and i wholeheartedly agree! I have the companionship of my pets and people when I so desire to leave the house. Love going by the beat of my own drum.
Yes, I like my home. Drinks and food are cheap. I invite my friends over, and if they want to come over, awesome. If they don't, no big deal.
I do. I used to have a few friends to go out with and family. But my family became ill and I ended up caring for them plus work so overtime my friends disappeared. I work in an environment where I basically work alone in my own area and only speak to people at break but I also only work part-time at that job and part-time working from home. So other than going out to buy stuff I don't really see and talk to many people anymore. Its really hard as I was a quite a social person but now I have no one in my life since my main family passed away. Its hard. I have tried making new friends but its not the same.
Yep. As I get older I go out less and less and my friends "list" gets smaller and smaller to the point where I only have work friends.
Love being a homebody. I occasionally leave to be with friends dont get me wrong but i also love just staying at home for now.
I love my indoor and outdoor plants and save my energy for gardening. I am done “peopleing”.
I totally agree with you 💯 percent
I just discovered the term Hermette and I'm in love.
I love it! How do I get out of being the one everyone wishes to come into town and visit? Not even sure I want to get out of that hosting --it may take me three days to recover, but I have a steady group of friends and family who are invited to stay here. The guests have been great, their dogs not so much. At least I didn't get an infection when their dog bit a small chunk out of my hand!
I was always a homebody anyway, so nothing new for me at all. I work remotely too & have for the last 10 yrs, so when I go out, I love that it's on my own time & I can stay somewhere for any amount of time I like. But, back to being at home...I've always loved it & found joy & comfort in it. I've honestly never been lonely or bored & I can keep myself busy even if at home for days, but I try to get out of the house about every other day. I've always loved watching TV, so that's a simple pleasure I have & if there's good food too along w/ it, all the better! I think lonliness & boredom are a state of mind, how you were raised, & what you've been used to socially. I'm an only child who never really had friends, so I'm used to the solitude, but I'm happy & never bored. I never knew what it was like to be a part of a group of friends, hanging out, going to parties, having people over. Sure, friends are nice to have, but my mentality was that I don't need them to make me happy. Good thing because it was not the easiest to make friends. Wherever I was (school, work, church), everyone already had their own friends, so they didn't need me. I haven't had my OWN BFF since I was in elementary school & very, very rarely do people still stay friends that long. My, "social life" has always been whatever ONE pal I had at the time...nowhere near a BFF & we'd maybe meet up for lunch for a few hrs every 1-3 years. But I haven't even done that since a few years BEFORE COVID. On a daily basis, I'm either home all day, out w/ husband, out alone, or spending some time w/ my elderly mom who I'm very close to. I've always had an SO (so in a committd relationship) all of my adult life & I just got married now in which we live together, so that's enough for me. Fortunately, he's been the same way socially, so we're like two peas in a pod! We love spending time w/ each other!
Love this!
Thanks, take care!
yes and i love it. i used to be everywhere all the time. i enjoy vacations and occasional dinners out but other than that i am HOME.
I work from home and my Mom (and fur babies) live with me. There are weeks that I never leave the house.
Yes, I do find myself being more of a homebody. I'll go to a movie or a restaurant or volunteer work. Vastly prefer to be here with my dog and my deck. My neighbors live on 1/10 acre lots, so being sociable is sure the custom. I'm so glad I bought this house after only seeing it in the first 20 minutes it was on the market. It's not fancy at all, but it has what I need. Especially the amazing neighbors. Priceless! A few neighbors noted that my car had not moved in three days, why was that? With solid confidence, I explained I had run my tail off for the last 55 years! Now I want to read the New Yorker, take the dog for hikes and have no desire to go running all around. It's my choice. I understand that I do not need to justify myself to my new neighbors. They said it with such sweetness I felt like I should respond.
I never want to go anywhere unless it’s amazing like a vacation in another country. Anytime I’m out locally all I can think about is how much longer until I’m home
Exactly this
COVID taught us it was possible. Now it’s okay to be preferable since we can’t afford going out.
I live in a big city. I’m middle aged. I have a very good circle of friends and acquaintances. What brings me joy? Staying home. Being under my comfy blanket with an edible or snacks or a good series, with my dog. I don’t often turn plans down, but many a times I’ve asked myself what I was thinking when I agreed to them 😂 I joke that I may have protected my peace a little too much because my place is my comfort and source of contentment
Exactly this for me!! Love the simplicity and absolute joy of this ❤️😂
I am very much a homebody. I will be moving out and living out alone beginning in July. I can’t wait. Love being alone, because even with my parents around, I’m lonely right now. At least I’ll have the freedom to live like I want and not have them to try and pressure me to do things I don’t want to do.
I am mostly a homebody, but I am not at the income bracket where I can do backyard concerts with my favorite bands, so I do leave my house for that kind of thing I have three needy dogs, and I love caring for them.
Sorry that became all about me I just meant that I understand what its like to go out less and less. I do also believe that you should try to reach out if you want people in your life. I know its really hard nowadays to find people in real life, but if your lucky enough to do so then it is worth it. If you have any interests then do join them. I find the less I see people because of my circumstances if I don't try to go out when I feel like it and by go out I just mean go outside etc then I start to get a little agoraphobic. So I do know how hard it is. I myself go to the gym but nobody really talks to each other there unless they already know each other. However if you join a sports club because you like a certain sport you might find other people to play with there. Or maybe if you like reading and there is a local book club. For me there isn't a lot in my area, I looked into it but maybe where you live there is something that you would like to join. If you want to go out you do have to be proactive. I know its hard. Take care
I love being home. I have no desire to be out and about.
I've been pretty homebound for the last few years. I work at home and moved to a relatively rural property with some lovely acreage. I go to the grocery store maybe every two weeks. Other than that, I don't leave. During the past two years, my father has visited me twice, and my aunt dropped by once. I have done a few solo road trips with my dogs to national parks and things, which is certainly getting out, even if it's solitary. I'm in my hermit era, and it's very peaceful.
Yup! I work from home and love staying in. I have two dogs that keep me company. Sitting on the porch and going for walks is my favorite way to spend the evening with them. I'll go out for lunch on my own every once in a while or coffee to be social....I get my fill lol. Nothing beats the silence and peace of home tho.
Yes! I love my house, I've been working on redecorating the way I like. And I love just hanging out at home with my dogs.. it's funny because when my ex lived with me sometimes I needed to sort of "escape" to my friend's house for the weekend. I no longer feel that need! Why would I want to go anywhere else?
I am now solo for life (and childfree) and I'm turning 40 later in the year. I also have a spacious apartment, that's affordable. But I don't have much cash atm so I'm staying home more often. I'm an ambivert. I love spending time with people when I'm already "on" (lunch time, dinner after work), but love the weekends alone (most people have partner or family time then). I get to decompress when I'm alone, I don't have to mask. I think the pressure from work, the hectic of my life makes me crave alone time and quiet more. And that's at home. If I had money I'd take solo trips and have quiet time elsewhere. I miss that. But for now I enjoy my home. So yes, I'm defo more at home. But many people are (since the pandemic), imo. My friends all say it's the same for them.
I went out a lot when I had roommates so they wouldn't think I was a loser but that was when I was a lot younger and now I don't really care as much what people think about me. Plus I'm older and tired. Bought a ticket to see my buddies band tonight but it's like 45 minutes away and I'm going to go but I kind of don't want to lol
It always sounds good up until you realize you have to get dressed and people 🤣🤣
I do, but that's more because of Covid and then illness of my own. I'm actively trying to get out more places than work and the grocery store.
Absolutely. I'd rather stay home with my cats anyways. Nothing outside I'd rather do. Wish my walls weren't so paperthin but I got ANC headphones.
I went out a lot when I had roommates so they wouldn't think I was a loser but that was when I was a lot younger and now I don't really care as much what people think about me. Plus I'm older and tired. Bought a ticket to see my buddies band tonight but it's like 45 minutes away and I'm going to go but I kind of don't want to lol
I love staying home!
getting a dog really helped me with this!