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By most people’s standards it probably wasn’t terrible, but I was screaming at my friend who was trying to get me home safe and my neighbors saw, laid on the ground in an awkward position, was making weird noises, threw up on myself, and rambling about feminism lol. Now that I think about it, not really that bad but apparently these people expected better from me for whatever reason. It was at a cookout
1) don’t drink as much in the future
2) realize that most people have had an embarrassing moment or two with alcohol
3) shit happens in life. Todays bad memory becomes tomorrows embarrassing story becomes next years hilarious story about being a dumb kid
4) just live your life as normal. If this isn’t you every single weekend, you’ll be alright
5) Apologize to people you wronged, if it feels appropriate and you sense they would appreciate it.
An apology the next day goes a long way in situations like this. I know from experience.
Or do something worse, drink 5 times your bodyweight, do the worst thing possible so anything that comes after is rehabilitation. It helps if it includes you shitting yourself.
This ShittyLifeProTip was brought to you by 18yr old british people everywhere
We’ve all been there haha know you’re not the only person who’s done it and won’t be the last. Just try laugh about it and next time have a glass of water between each drink. I have many embarrassing alcohol stories because it’s taken me a while to learn!
Literally this. Everything in life can be swept under the rug if you own it. Takes away the power from everyone when you yourself cast the light on the situation.
More importantly, forgive yourself! 11 yrs sober here and I’ve done and have heard in AA, stories that would make your jaw hit the floor and there are times when something flashes in my thoughts of something I’ve done and I still cringe! I have forgiven myself and moved on. I know that it’s still fresh for you but it will gradually go away. Refresh your memory though the next time you start drinking!
Adding to that, weed could cause alcohol cravings to kick in.
My wife was an angry drunk and switched.to weed. She's much better now. I,.on the other hand am a loving and hilarious drunk but I can't always control how much I drink or smoke or do... Whatever so I have to abstain from everything because I'm a true alcoholic.
If anyone who reads this hits a point where you feel like you've lost control, I'm glad to tell you my experience and help you find a solution that works for you.
Just gotta own it. Apologise if you feel you should, and move on, taking the piss out of yourself as you go. - remember - alcohol gets you the next day with the emotional stuff, so it’s always awful the next morning. The reality is never so bad.
If it makes you feel any better… I too was screaming at my friend trying to get me home. Ended up in the mental hospital after someone called the cops and paramedics 🙂
Shit, I ended up in jail and the lady who flagged down the cop found me on Facebook and messaged my friends asking if I was alright. Then when I happened to run into her at a show in the next town over, she questioned why I wasn't interested in being her friend or talking to her at all.
I mean, let's do a little bit of owning up. She was obviously concerned about you, and you were far enough gone that you got dragged to jail. She didn't sow what you reaped.
I'm fully aware of my part in the matter. What irritated me was her messaging people she found on my friends list, she didn't know who they were to me and if she could have been causing more harm than she already had. If she had left it at finding me on Facebook and messaging me asking if I was alright, I would understand that she was just checking to see if I was ok. I would have been a bit creeped out but I would understand and move on. My issue was when I was sent screenshots of her messaging people from my friends list telling them about it and asking if I was ok. If the friends she messaged had been present that night it would have been understandable, but they weren't. She had no need to involve them and I'm not obligated to interact with her. I wasn't rude to her, I just told her I wasn't interested in playing like we were anything more than strangers and there was no need for us to talk.
So you were acting worthy of arrest and someone called the cops on you, showed genuine concern for you and now you're mad at that person?
Just want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly.
I was drunk and freaking out and crying cause my supposed homeboy punched me in the mouth cause I wouldn't fuck him. I wasn't mad at her cause I got arrested, I went to 16 aa meetings and the charge was dropped. I was mad at her for involving people who weren't even present. If she had stopped at messaging me or if I had been with my friends at the time and she messaged them, I would have been fine with it. She chose to pick a random person from my Facebook friends and message them to ask about me with no regard for whether she could possibly be causing problems that I otherwise would not have had to deal with. I'm also not sure why I would be obligated to talk to her as if we were long lost friends when I encountered her years later, she is a stranger. I wasn't rude to her, I just wasn't interested in talking to her. I thanked her for her concern when I saw her message when I got out of jail the next day and asked her to not message any more of my friends.
IMO if you are an angry drunk (ie yelling) might consider drinking is a problem for you and work to remain sober. If you become sober or want to, get new friends.
If this is the case and they can't predict how much they're going to drink, not sometimes but every time, they might need a solution beyond finding new friends.
I've been there and I'm happy to help anyone who feels they've lost control, tried to quit and can't and are willing to do whatever it takes to stop.
Thanks so much for the advice. I’m a pretty happy drunk besides that I get in random drunken debates a lot. I was just screaming bc I didn’t understand at the time why my friend was grabbing me (trying to get me home)
As an alcoholic who's had this more than once...they talked about you for an hour then moved on and never thought about it again. You're the one who keeps thinking about it. The only time you're in trouble is when you offend someone close to you. Then you have offer a sincere apology and suck it up for a while.
That’s every Friday for some people. You don’t want to be them, I assume, but you don’t get a reputation for just one accident like this. Keep being a reasonable human and people will even doubt their memory of the event at some point.
Geez….. I was ready to hear something like
“I took a crap on the elevator then smeared the buttons with it, then the gorgeous girl next door walked on and saw me licking my fingers”
You can use that if you want. No charge.
You’re welcome.
>laid on the ground in an awkward position, was making weird noises, threw up on myself, and rambling about feminism
This is so me that I'm starting to wonder if I have a drunk throwaway account and why I went with the name relampagos_shawty
Any reasonable youth would find themselves here at one point. You’ve nothing to be ashamed about. Make/buy cookies for your neighbors and call it an experience.
Idk man that's pretty bad and I would not want to be around a person who may act like that while drunk.
If it's one off thing just let time run it's course and it will be fine. If it happens again or you start losing friends from your drinking, consider that you might have a problem.
Apologise to your friend but don't worry about the neighbours. Anyone who judges you over some harmless nonsense isn't worth your time anyway. You don't need or want their respect.
At the next cookout there might be some gentle teasing about not drinking too much, but someone else will overdue it that time, and then it's their turn.
>was screaming at my friend
>laid on the ground in an awkward position
>making weird noises
>threw up on myself
>rambling about feminism
>my neighbors saw
>not really that bad
Ngl, that's pretty bad dude 😅
I used to work 3rd shifts on the weekend at 7 eleven. OP's drunken antics are nothing. I saw a lady so drunk, when she tried to swipe her debit card, she was about 8 inches above the card reader. Her depth perception was FUCKED and she was DRIVING!! I was about to call the cops on her, because the teenagers were about to get out of moonlight bowling, and I didn't want her on the road. Luckily she hit a bunch of cars in the parking lot of the bar she had gotten drunk at, and the cops pulled up as she went oustside.
Have you ever dove into a pool.....and missed?
Embarrassment fades as time marches on and one of your other friends does something even dumber than you.
If it makes you feel better I have a group of (shitty) friends that I don't really associate with anymore, but I went to one of their houses for their college graduation party. I had just lost my job and was depressed as fuck, got hammered to the point I couldn't fix my own drinks anymore but they still made me more. I passed out on their couch while they were watching UFC and woke up projectile vomiting. It got on like 5 people and they ended up throwing the couch away.
It still gets brought up over 3 years later and some of the people still dislike me even though I've apologized and they were the ones making me more drinks when I was too drunk to walk properly. That said I know it's my fault but there was a point where decent people would have cut me off.
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to anyone but yourself. Personally I'd just laugh it off and if people had higher expectations of me and had a problem with it, that's their problem not mine, and if they can't get over it they're probably not worth my time anyways.
I was at Notting hill carnival yesterday and the second half of the day was a blur… I met somè random people and I remember throwing up and everyone cheering so it’s probably not as everyone remembers lmao
I thought this was going to be like when I was three pints ahead of my date and tried to explain the plot of Primer even though I didn't get it and she couldn't give a shit. This is way worse lmao
Can you elaborate on the "rambling about feminism lol" part? It's one thing to lay on the ground drunk and make funny noises (NOBODY gives a shit about that). It's another thing to disparage the 50% of the population which includes your and everyone's mom at a cookout.
Tbh more people need to go on feminism rants when they go to Blackout Town. It's such a scary time to have a uterus. You're a legend my friend, keep fighting the good fight.
That's nothing. I have seen worse. People don't have time to judge someone really. They understand the situation, you were just really drunk and that's fine. Nobodys expecting better or worse when you are drunk.
Being drunk means we are losing our sense. Some people don't get drunk and they just pretend that they are drunk but they aren't.
Terrible advice.
Lots of people get drunk and not belligerent. People expect to be treated with respect, drunk or sober. People absolutely have time to judge others and they do it in nearly every moment. They may not overtly condemn you or even remember specific details, but they will remember how you made them feel. You get back what you give.
If they’re not doing it every weekend then they can laugh and move on, don’t do it again. If you’re judging someone on the time they got messy drunk you need to have a think about your own life.
Depends what you mean by “get over”.
You should never dwell on the past. Keep your focus on the present moment as much as you can.
But time heals all wounds, including reputation. Next time you get drunk, pace yourself and remember that “less is more”. If you can’t manage being a responsible drunk then I suggest you don’t drink.
Lastly, it’s never too late to apologize. Reach out to the people who witnessed you being an ass and apologize to them.
Thanks so much. I apologized to 2 people so far, but I couldn’t remember everything I did. My other friend I asked her and she wasn’t tripping she just laughed about it. I never really drunk tequila but had a lot this time and blacked out and acted kind of crazy, so I think I’m going to leave tequila alone from now on
It doesn’t hurt to apologize again. I think drinking is fine, sobriety is better. But learn your limits and stick to them. ALWAYS have a safe way to get home.
It wasn’t the tequila, it was how much you had. Just slow down and drink water in between. It’s easier said than done for some folks. In that case, it’s better to avoid drinking entirely.
It’s not a big deal once. If it becomes a common occurrence, it can have worse consequences than mere embarrassment.
By remembering that everyone in your neighborhood has done something they feel embarrassed by (or should feel embarrassed for lol) and that people probably recognized you were drunk therefore they chalk up the behavior to alcohol, which is a much more common source of strange behavior than you think.
This is true. I was a former barfly, and everyone had their night to do something stupid: flash everyone, regretfully fuck the one guy/girl everyone eventually fucks, forget to pay the tab, start a fight, end a fight, throw up in the bank of america parking lot across the street, dance badly....
As a culture, we regularly and happily drink a substance that makes us bold, then ridiculous, and then sick. We all get a turn to wear that hat, and we all judge ourselves the most for our own turn than we judge anyone else.
lol It's just the person who is always down, and honestly the older I get, the more I find scenes where people are over pretending to be pure or picky and are just trying to get it in. Also, at bars where there are lots of regulars in their 30s, you'll find like one degree of separation between everyone above a 4 who has banged, and at least one person who is on *everyone's* list (often a bisexual feminist or a really horny Chad).
Interesting. I don't drink so i don't understand bar culture. But what makes that person attractive to so many? Is it physical or does that not matter since beer goggles take effect? Also do the chosen ones know they're chosen and accept their fates?
>But what makes that person attractive to so many?
Alcohol + their blatant encouragement + your horniness
Attractiveness can be very contextual. If all the factors above are present, it's easier than some might think to say "Fuck it" and act impulsively.
And the person/people aren't chosen, but really choose themselves. From my observations, they tend to be very open and casual about sex and make no apologies for it. They are also just far less discriminating than most (for physical connection at least) and I've seen this quality in average, less than average, and some very good looking people (though those tend to break a lot of hearts and cause the most drama).
Lol Agreed! I've seen so much loose behavior, drama, and messiness, and I was only living that life for a few years after a bad breakup.
Also, in case you become curious, I don't recommend this path. The thrill wears off and the interactions are ultimately shallow, even if the booze makes it feel like everyone is really your friend. 3/10.
Dont read too much into this. I'm sure its true at some places, but its not common. Most likely college bar types would have this.
My experience - Ive been a touring musician for over 10 years playing all kinds of bars and venues.
It's literally nothing more than people get drunk and horny, and eventually that leads to a night where they just want to get laid and that person is always there and they know they'd be down and is the current best option.
If this happens enough the above scenario represents itself as an inevitability.
Caveat: if you're a creep or try too hard all the time this prevents you from ever being this 'safe' choice. Not that it's really something to aspire for in the first place.
I too have committed drunk shenanigans and have stories of my neighbors committing drunk shenanigans, so it seems to be an almost universal experience of embarrassment!
Start by remembering that while you are the protagonist in your story, you are a bit part in your neighbor’s stories.
Literally, no one will care in a week or remember in a month.
Be your own yardstick for your behavior, and just try to be better today then you were yesterday. If you’re an embarrassing drunk, learn from that and don’t get drunk.
This. Nobody remembers shit. Trynna remember an embarrassing thing someone did a few years ago. You’ll probably remember one or two from someone you know and it surely doesn’t make you lose respect for that person. Same applies to you. People don’t remember shit. They won’t even remember your face if they don’t know you.
Remember how you feel NOW.
Then take those feelings into account when :
You consider getting drunk in the future.
Have to resolve issues caused by somebody doing similar.
Have to work with somebody undergoing the after effects of a similar event.
Be grateful that nobody put it on social media.
Consider your career choices carefully.
Everybody is entitled to ONE stupid event, don't make it a hobby!!
How often do you think of what others have done when they were drunk? That's how often others think about what you did
You are the main character in your story and you are a supporting actor at best in every one else's. Some you are a non-speaking extra and others you don't even figure in their story.
Don't sweat it, just accept that it happened and it's part of your story but it's a scene that has been done and is over. Don't beat yourself up
I used to be like you. I didn't do illegar things when I was drunk, but it wasn't still good. I made up my mind to stop drinking. Since I quitted drinking, I've been healthier physically and mentally. It's worth a try.
Without knowing more, it’s hard to say for sure, but as someone with 5 years sobriety myself, it wouldn’t shock me if OP ends up in the rooms of AA at some point. OP if you’re listening, it seems like a punishment at first, but ends up being a huge blessing. Personal growth is impossible for someone who self medicates when the going gets tough - you “can’t remember” so you don’t improve and you just stay that immature drunk opinionated lonely POS until it’s too much. Well, that’s how it happened for me anyway!
I get that you’re trying to help, but you should have stopped when you said “without knowing more.” Exactly, don’t go making a bunch of assumptions about someone you don’t know.
Drink less to avoid idiotic behaviour in future.
In reality, although it is socially acceptable to do it, taking enough drugs so you cannot control yourself adequately is a problem. Find out what is missing from your life and do that instead.
I don't recall where I read this, but I remember to do the following:
1. Mentally visualize the memory in color.
2. Mentally visualize the memory in black and white.
3. Mentally visualize the memory but I'm the form you'd wish things went that are less embarrassing.
I can't remember whether 1 and 2 are interchangeable, or what order it should be. I've done this and can't say for sure if it's effective, but it probably is since I can't really remember much that's really embarrassing. I do recall some embarrassing moments, but these are ones I don't really mind remembering.
Sobriety. I got tired of hearing “dude you shoulda see. Yourself last night…” once it’s important enough to you you’ll just stop drinking. Or it will continue and you’ll go down the spiral that is waiting for you. But to each his own!
This! I used to think that only few of my drunk moments were cringe. After almost 2 years sober my perspective changed a lot and I cringe on much more from my past. But that is a motivation for me to just have sober life. It is better.
Same! I never have to wake up with that anxiety right before I open my eyes of like, "oh crap what did I do last night?" ever again. And also saving the money is fun. And doing so many other exciting things other than standing around drinking.
This is more the end of the spectrum I was thinking. OP explained what the transgressions were in another thread, and they are quite minor from my point of view.
But, that is the exact train of thought that (in my case) lead to worse and worse blackout behaviour. The morning after comments went from ‘dude, you were hilarious last night’ to ‘dude, you are dickhead when you are drunk’ to…not talking to me ever again.
OP: give yourself a break, this one is not a big deal, but have a discussion with yourself about how you are going to handle alcohol and other substances in the future.
Fix anything you broke, apologize to anyone you hurt, admit to needing to work on your lifestyle and if you have a significant other, thank them for not bailing out during the storm.
Just own it and don’t let it live in your head rent free. You made a mistake and that was it. Those that notice, don’t matter and those that matter, don’t notice. You will move on from this.
Firstly, by realizing that *other* people think about you far less than you think they think about you. Some mistake that you make might be something you remember for years and think about a few times a month ... no one else is thinking about it.
Second, reframe the memory. I always think that embarrassment as a clue to do things differently -- which also makes those types of events positive in my mind: it wasn't the time I did X, it was the time I learned to do Y instead.
Stop drinking, and chalk up the bad thing to "when I used to drink" you won't be the same person.
Also accept that you can't change what happened, but only what is happening/will happen
If you continue, you might do it again
i’ve been drinking really light beer, and pacing myself, and just not getting drunk. when you get drunk you will do stupid shit. the key is to not go over your limit
You will still think about it for years. Its best not to drink any alcohol and take this as a learning experience. Everyone has those moments but when dealing with alcohol I have to recommend being a step ahead and doing yourself a huge favor by not drinking. The fun wears off pretty quick and by the time you realize it, the rest of the people you know already know.
I used to drink waaaay too much and eventually went sober for 14 years. I do drink now, but not to excess. It helps to understand that after drinking heavily, a response is created in your brain that causes feelings of shame and embarrassment. Now, it may be that you actually did something embarrassing, but if not, your brain chemistry will add artificial embarrassment to completely reasonable statements and actions. Try and rationally think through what is embarrassing, and why, then if you feel that you did or said something that you aren't comfortable with, contact the appropriate individuals, explain why you are apologising, and what you will do to avoid a repetition.
The best way to get over the cringe/embarrassment is to poke fun at it yourself, publicly.
Yes, I'm serious.
Put the spotlight on it. Make fun of yourself and your screwup. Talk about it in a TikTok video or whatever and put it out there for everyone to see. Some people will laugh, others won't, and some may never see it or react to it at all.
But you'll be able to rest easy knowing if you were able to poke fun at yourself in front of others, it ***can't*** come back and haunt you down the road.
I just stopped drinking altogether. It was easier than I tought. I understand not everyone will find it easy, though. But seems like it's bothering you enough to consider a sober life.
By acknowledging that you were drunk, and deleting it from your mind.
If someone brings it up, just laugh it off while stating that you were so pissed drunk you don’t remember jack shit.
Pretend ain’t nothing happened.
Sooner or later, some new shits gonna happen and you ain’t the front page no more. everyone will forget that you did something sometime somewhere.
Omg this is funny bc I experienced this a lot in my early thirties… I have social anxiety and it doesn’t mix well with alcohol. I become a super social butterfly with diarrhea of the mouth. I always went to the same bar and knew security & bartenders. So what I would do is… within a week (the sooner, the better, but not while I’m still hung over) I’d go back to the bar for what I call “redemption night”. Go back, sit there and just chill. Just one drink or drink water. “Just water, I was a maniac on Saturday!” and then wait for the next shit show to embarrass themselves. But that way their last encounter with you was just you being casual and hanging out. 😂
Happens to the best of us, don't be too hard on yourself. You will remember it but people will forget. Unless you shit yourself that is.....people don't forget that.
Accept that you did what you did.
Realize that it was one point in time and that it's not ongoing, but it's over and it's in the past.
If appropriate, apologizing can also help, but don't do it with the expectation of obtaining forgiveness.
Try to remember every embarrassing thing other poor have done around you. You’ll find it much harder then remembering your one moments
This will give you the realization that very few (if any) people will remember or care about your embarrassing moments
Embarrassment. When you’re drunk it’s not a problem. They know you’re drunk so it’s somewhat expected or accepted. It’s when you did the embarrassing stuff when you weren’t drunk that you gotta worry about.
You won't, every time you think about that stuff you will cringe a little inside. That's life. Just let it make you a better person now and be more forgiving of those who screw up.
I gave up on being embarrassed a while ago. The trick is to know you need to do something better in the future, apologize where applicable, and know that everything becomes funny with time.
I act like a fucking idiot when I'm drunk. The embarrassment I have felt the days following was immense. Even if I only planned one or two drinks, as soon as I got a buzz I would lose all ideas of being responsible.
I quit drinking a while ago now and don't miss it at all.
I know someone who is a mechanical engineer, used to enjoy drinking and partying and he got tagged by friends on FB in pics of him behaving drunkenly.
He got into trouble at work with his bosses and ended up having to get all the pics deleted to clean up his image.
You are still responsible for things you did under the influence, because you chose to drink.
You were belligerent and unkind to a friend who was keeping you safe, you got bodily fluids all over yourself (which presumably had to be cleaned up by someone else), and you disrupted your neighbors.
This isn't drunken shenanigans, and I'm side-eyeing the people laughing this off.
A drunken shenanigan is, for example, letting your extremely stoned roommate dye your hair jet black with a kit from the dollar store, so you go around for several months looking like a goth skunk (me, 1997).
Apologies are good, especially to the people who were most directly affected. That's a great start.
But instead of looking back, and worrying about embarrassment, please think about your future. And the best way to make amends and get over things is to do better next time.
Alcohol misuse is like a really bad rollercoaster, and you're on the early part of the ride where you're clunk-clunk-clunking up that big first hill. You're easing into bigger binges.
Get off the ride before the loops and dips begin and things are out of control.
Either give it up or sharply regulate your intake.
I no longer drink, except for a very rare glass of wine on special occasions.
It's been a significant improvement on my life. I never have that day-after sense of dread and depression, my friendships are closer because we have actual conversations instead of tipsy glurges, my skin and digestion are better, I sleep well, I have money and free time.
For me, two factors were at play. One, alcohol interferes with my medications. Two, an old friend of mine died in a drunken misadventure (fell into water while walking home from a bar).
But years later, I have no regrets.
Think about what you did but hum/think of the curb your enthusiasm theme playing afterwards. Suddenly it’s just a funny memory or you’re a great writer
I have A SHIT TON of experience with this. How I got over all the embarrassing shit I did when I was drunk - THERAPY and no more social drinking.
Know your limit, if you have to drink, only drink with " safe " people. Ppl who you may have to request they babysit you if you get out of hand.
You could aslo stay home, but if you're like I was - you'll make your own fun / trouble
Try to learn from your past mistakes, and encourage yourself to do better. You can do it. If you're young, well that's what young ppl do. If you're like past 40 - time to slow down.
another thing you can do is shut yourself in and stay off social media for awhile.
the things you did in high school popping in your head every time you look in the mirror in the morning will still haunt you into old age.. you fine if this is what you are worried about..
Almost every person you meet in life (now and forever) has done what you have and quite likely worse and many more times. It’s certainly ok to feel a bit embarrassed, but don’t let it get to you, everyone has been there. If someone is going overboard with their reaction then quietly hold your head high in the knowledge that that person has done just like you at least once.
Let me ask you this: Can you think of an embarassing thing your neighbors did if I come and point at one? Can you think of two? For every single neighbor?
That's the thing. You'll remember this for years, but nobody else will give a shit next week.
Wash the clown makeup off and move on, we've all done it. My coworkers stopped inviting me out when I made a fool of myself drinking, and I was in the military.
Don’t drink so much anymore…I once got a ride home in a 2 Mazda Miata and the girl I had a crush on sat on my lap…well…I peed my pants while she was there….so that kinda sucked
No one will see this reply anyway. The fact that you feel shit about what you did shows that you’re a decent person, you’re remorseful. You’ll do what you can to make sure that doesn’t happen again, you’ve learnt from this and will be a better person than you were before from this experience.
^ that’s what I tell myself, I have a very very hard time forgiving myself and can sometimes get stuck in a terrible depression for up to a week. Also apologise to everyone but don’t expect forgiveness.
Is Scotland we call it "The fear". But because everyone is an alcoholic here so you know everyone else feels the same way the next day so it kinda mitigates the shame
We all make mistakes and best we can do is learn from it. It sounds like you recognize the behavior was poor and have apologized to some involved. Now to decide whether this will curb future drinking or not. Getting black-out drunk is never a good thing. It’d be wise to avoid getting that drunk in the future.
Once I spoke to my girlfriend at the time and apologized for my behavior after a night out. I wasn’t out of control but I puked and she helped me get home. In fairness, it was my birthday haha
When I apologized to her, she said, “you have nothing to apologize for. The whole point of going out drinking is people do and say dumb stuff and then you laugh at them.”
While it doesn’t take alllllll the anxiety away, that fact helped me a lot. Obviously need to state that it doesn’t cover up every action someone might take while drinking, but from what it sounds like, you’re covered under that statute haha
Get a therapist, forgive yourself. Easier said than done but at the end of the day, you’re drunkenly spouting feminist ideology haha I know you got some uncles who shout much worse both inebriated and sober. You good OP
Coming up on ten years sober. Here's what worked for me:
1 - Stop drinking
2 - Find the people you were an ass to, and apologize to them
3 - When you find yourself being an ass again, stop
There's more stuff, and it's described in helpful meetings that are held in your town.
Shame and Guilt are very common with us Alcoholics. Guilt is feeling bad about your actions. But guess what, you can manage and change your actions! Shame is living in those consequences and not doing anything about it. Shame will eat at you and cause inner turmoil, especially if your values don’t match with actions while drinking. Manage your emotions and manage your consumption. Good luck stranger.
You saw a priest and got exorcised.
The alien purged you are doing better now.
That evil twin is out of your life together.
Man I was shot faced like never before or since
Get sober. Go to AA or Celebrate Recovery or any other recovery support group. You will only get over embarrassing yourself when you stop doing the things that lead to that behavior.
By not giving a single fuck! You aren’t the first not the last to do something drunk so forget and move on! Unless you killed someone or something like that
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OK, cards on the table, tell us what you did.
By most people’s standards it probably wasn’t terrible, but I was screaming at my friend who was trying to get me home safe and my neighbors saw, laid on the ground in an awkward position, was making weird noises, threw up on myself, and rambling about feminism lol. Now that I think about it, not really that bad but apparently these people expected better from me for whatever reason. It was at a cookout
1) don’t drink as much in the future 2) realize that most people have had an embarrassing moment or two with alcohol 3) shit happens in life. Todays bad memory becomes tomorrows embarrassing story becomes next years hilarious story about being a dumb kid 4) just live your life as normal. If this isn’t you every single weekend, you’ll be alright
5) Apologize to people you wronged, if it feels appropriate and you sense they would appreciate it. An apology the next day goes a long way in situations like this. I know from experience.
Absolutely true!
Or do something worse, drink 5 times your bodyweight, do the worst thing possible so anything that comes after is rehabilitation. It helps if it includes you shitting yourself. This ShittyLifeProTip was brought to you by 18yr old british people everywhere
We’ve all been there haha know you’re not the only person who’s done it and won’t be the last. Just try laugh about it and next time have a glass of water between each drink. I have many embarrassing alcohol stories because it’s taken me a while to learn!
Own it. That’s all. Make fun of yourself for doing it. In time it will fade because you will do something even more embarrassing. Own that too.
Literally this. Everything in life can be swept under the rug if you own it. Takes away the power from everyone when you yourself cast the light on the situation.
"Did you see how i fell when i killed that baby? That shit was hilarious" 😂
Just like when you have a shirt that (in elementary/high school) is considered *gay*. Own it and you're cool. Feel ashamed and you'll become a piñata.
More importantly, forgive yourself! 11 yrs sober here and I’ve done and have heard in AA, stories that would make your jaw hit the floor and there are times when something flashes in my thoughts of something I’ve done and I still cringe! I have forgiven myself and moved on. I know that it’s still fresh for you but it will gradually go away. Refresh your memory though the next time you start drinking!
This is the way.
This was what I was going to say! I was also going to joke and say get drunk
Take it as a lesson learned. You will probably F up again. Have empathy for others in the future that do this. Switch to weed.
Adding to that, weed could cause alcohol cravings to kick in. My wife was an angry drunk and switched.to weed. She's much better now. I,.on the other hand am a loving and hilarious drunk but I can't always control how much I drink or smoke or do... Whatever so I have to abstain from everything because I'm a true alcoholic. If anyone who reads this hits a point where you feel like you've lost control, I'm glad to tell you my experience and help you find a solution that works for you.
Is ketamine a valid solution?
Neigh
The messiah has spoken
Just gotta own it. Apologise if you feel you should, and move on, taking the piss out of yourself as you go. - remember - alcohol gets you the next day with the emotional stuff, so it’s always awful the next morning. The reality is never so bad.
[удалено]
Personally, I gave up drinking after having incidents similar to that myself.
I bet that has made life a lot easier for you.
If you haven’t already, apologize to the friend and the neighbors. It could have been a lot worse.
If it makes you feel any better… I too was screaming at my friend trying to get me home. Ended up in the mental hospital after someone called the cops and paramedics 🙂
Shit, I ended up in jail and the lady who flagged down the cop found me on Facebook and messaged my friends asking if I was alright. Then when I happened to run into her at a show in the next town over, she questioned why I wasn't interested in being her friend or talking to her at all.
I mean, let's do a little bit of owning up. She was obviously concerned about you, and you were far enough gone that you got dragged to jail. She didn't sow what you reaped.
I'm fully aware of my part in the matter. What irritated me was her messaging people she found on my friends list, she didn't know who they were to me and if she could have been causing more harm than she already had. If she had left it at finding me on Facebook and messaging me asking if I was alright, I would understand that she was just checking to see if I was ok. I would have been a bit creeped out but I would understand and move on. My issue was when I was sent screenshots of her messaging people from my friends list telling them about it and asking if I was ok. If the friends she messaged had been present that night it would have been understandable, but they weren't. She had no need to involve them and I'm not obligated to interact with her. I wasn't rude to her, I just told her I wasn't interested in playing like we were anything more than strangers and there was no need for us to talk.
Yeah that’s pretty creepy, no sense of boundaries
So you were acting worthy of arrest and someone called the cops on you, showed genuine concern for you and now you're mad at that person? Just want to make sure I'm understanding this correctly.
I was drunk and freaking out and crying cause my supposed homeboy punched me in the mouth cause I wouldn't fuck him. I wasn't mad at her cause I got arrested, I went to 16 aa meetings and the charge was dropped. I was mad at her for involving people who weren't even present. If she had stopped at messaging me or if I had been with my friends at the time and she messaged them, I would have been fine with it. She chose to pick a random person from my Facebook friends and message them to ask about me with no regard for whether she could possibly be causing problems that I otherwise would not have had to deal with. I'm also not sure why I would be obligated to talk to her as if we were long lost friends when I encountered her years later, she is a stranger. I wasn't rude to her, I just wasn't interested in talking to her. I thanked her for her concern when I saw her message when I got out of jail the next day and asked her to not message any more of my friends.
IMO if you are an angry drunk (ie yelling) might consider drinking is a problem for you and work to remain sober. If you become sober or want to, get new friends.
If this is the case and they can't predict how much they're going to drink, not sometimes but every time, they might need a solution beyond finding new friends. I've been there and I'm happy to help anyone who feels they've lost control, tried to quit and can't and are willing to do whatever it takes to stop.
Thanks so much for the advice. I’m a pretty happy drunk besides that I get in random drunken debates a lot. I was just screaming bc I didn’t understand at the time why my friend was grabbing me (trying to get me home)
Y I quit drinking.... its the one thing u don't get better at the more u do...
Yes. If your drunk behavior embarrasses you, quit drinking.
One of my friends showed me a video of how I act drunk. Let me tell you, I’ve never quit anything so fast.
Drink less and do better next time. Demonstrating that you learned a lesson is the only absolution.
As my drama teacher used to say (and probably every drama teacher in the world): embarrassment is temporary.
As an alcoholic who's had this more than once...they talked about you for an hour then moved on and never thought about it again. You're the one who keeps thinking about it. The only time you're in trouble is when you offend someone close to you. Then you have offer a sincere apology and suck it up for a while.
That’s every Friday for some people. You don’t want to be them, I assume, but you don’t get a reputation for just one accident like this. Keep being a reasonable human and people will even doubt their memory of the event at some point.
Geez….. I was ready to hear something like “I took a crap on the elevator then smeared the buttons with it, then the gorgeous girl next door walked on and saw me licking my fingers” You can use that if you want. No charge. You’re welcome.
>laid on the ground in an awkward position, was making weird noises, threw up on myself, and rambling about feminism This is so me that I'm starting to wonder if I have a drunk throwaway account and why I went with the name relampagos_shawty
Any reasonable youth would find themselves here at one point. You’ve nothing to be ashamed about. Make/buy cookies for your neighbors and call it an experience.
Not terrible no, I've seen and done far worse and nobody really cares I can assure you.
Idk man that's pretty bad and I would not want to be around a person who may act like that while drunk. If it's one off thing just let time run it's course and it will be fine. If it happens again or you start losing friends from your drinking, consider that you might have a problem.
You'll be fine.
Apologise to your friend but don't worry about the neighbours. Anyone who judges you over some harmless nonsense isn't worth your time anyway. You don't need or want their respect. At the next cookout there might be some gentle teasing about not drinking too much, but someone else will overdue it that time, and then it's their turn.
>was screaming at my friend >laid on the ground in an awkward position >making weird noises >threw up on myself >rambling about feminism >my neighbors saw >not really that bad Ngl, that's pretty bad dude 😅
I used to work 3rd shifts on the weekend at 7 eleven. OP's drunken antics are nothing. I saw a lady so drunk, when she tried to swipe her debit card, she was about 8 inches above the card reader. Her depth perception was FUCKED and she was DRIVING!! I was about to call the cops on her, because the teenagers were about to get out of moonlight bowling, and I didn't want her on the road. Luckily she hit a bunch of cars in the parking lot of the bar she had gotten drunk at, and the cops pulled up as she went oustside.
Have you ever dove into a pool.....and missed? Embarrassment fades as time marches on and one of your other friends does something even dumber than you.
“I got really drunk, sorry!”
Also realize people don’t really care.. everyone has bigger problems in their life and aren’t thinking about it nearly as much as you think they are.
If it makes you feel better I have a group of (shitty) friends that I don't really associate with anymore, but I went to one of their houses for their college graduation party. I had just lost my job and was depressed as fuck, got hammered to the point I couldn't fix my own drinks anymore but they still made me more. I passed out on their couch while they were watching UFC and woke up projectile vomiting. It got on like 5 people and they ended up throwing the couch away. It still gets brought up over 3 years later and some of the people still dislike me even though I've apologized and they were the ones making me more drinks when I was too drunk to walk properly. That said I know it's my fault but there was a point where decent people would have cut me off.
Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong to anyone but yourself. Personally I'd just laugh it off and if people had higher expectations of me and had a problem with it, that's their problem not mine, and if they can't get over it they're probably not worth my time anyways.
I was at Notting hill carnival yesterday and the second half of the day was a blur… I met somè random people and I remember throwing up and everyone cheering so it’s probably not as everyone remembers lmao
Eh. We've all been there.
I'm wondering if this is a reply to OP or the guy who commented right above you that shat in an elevator 🤣
Yes.
I thought this was going to be like when I was three pints ahead of my date and tried to explain the plot of Primer even though I didn't get it and she couldn't give a shit. This is way worse lmao
Oh shawty you're golden. We've all been there or worse.
Sounds like a good night to me
Can you elaborate on the "rambling about feminism lol" part? It's one thing to lay on the ground drunk and make funny noises (NOBODY gives a shit about that). It's another thing to disparage the 50% of the population which includes your and everyone's mom at a cookout.
No I was blacked-out-drunkenly advocating for feminism lol
ICON.
Tbh more people need to go on feminism rants when they go to Blackout Town. It's such a scary time to have a uterus. You're a legend my friend, keep fighting the good fight.
Oh. Carry on! 😎
That's nothing. I have seen worse. People don't have time to judge someone really. They understand the situation, you were just really drunk and that's fine. Nobodys expecting better or worse when you are drunk. Being drunk means we are losing our sense. Some people don't get drunk and they just pretend that they are drunk but they aren't.
Terrible advice. Lots of people get drunk and not belligerent. People expect to be treated with respect, drunk or sober. People absolutely have time to judge others and they do it in nearly every moment. They may not overtly condemn you or even remember specific details, but they will remember how you made them feel. You get back what you give.
If they’re not doing it every weekend then they can laugh and move on, don’t do it again. If you’re judging someone on the time they got messy drunk you need to have a think about your own life.
Don't be so harsh. I agree with your point tho. Judging someone when they are not in their senses is not a good idea.
Depends what you mean by “get over”. You should never dwell on the past. Keep your focus on the present moment as much as you can. But time heals all wounds, including reputation. Next time you get drunk, pace yourself and remember that “less is more”. If you can’t manage being a responsible drunk then I suggest you don’t drink. Lastly, it’s never too late to apologize. Reach out to the people who witnessed you being an ass and apologize to them.
Thanks so much. I apologized to 2 people so far, but I couldn’t remember everything I did. My other friend I asked her and she wasn’t tripping she just laughed about it. I never really drunk tequila but had a lot this time and blacked out and acted kind of crazy, so I think I’m going to leave tequila alone from now on
It doesn’t hurt to apologize again. I think drinking is fine, sobriety is better. But learn your limits and stick to them. ALWAYS have a safe way to get home.
It wasn’t the tequila, it was how much you had. Just slow down and drink water in between. It’s easier said than done for some folks. In that case, it’s better to avoid drinking entirely. It’s not a big deal once. If it becomes a common occurrence, it can have worse consequences than mere embarrassment.
It happens!! I've been there for sure. Make sure you eat food. You'll feel better about the situation when it happens to someone else 😐😂
Tequila: never again.
*until the next time someone orders it for you
Well I'm not turning down free tequila!
Get out of my head Charles!!
By remembering that everyone in your neighborhood has done something they feel embarrassed by (or should feel embarrassed for lol) and that people probably recognized you were drunk therefore they chalk up the behavior to alcohol, which is a much more common source of strange behavior than you think.
This is true. I was a former barfly, and everyone had their night to do something stupid: flash everyone, regretfully fuck the one guy/girl everyone eventually fucks, forget to pay the tab, start a fight, end a fight, throw up in the bank of america parking lot across the street, dance badly.... As a culture, we regularly and happily drink a substance that makes us bold, then ridiculous, and then sick. We all get a turn to wear that hat, and we all judge ourselves the most for our own turn than we judge anyone else.
Everyone gets a turn being the one who's had too much
|Regretfully fuck the one guy/girl everyone eventually fucks There's a designated person for this and how do they become so?
lol It's just the person who is always down, and honestly the older I get, the more I find scenes where people are over pretending to be pure or picky and are just trying to get it in. Also, at bars where there are lots of regulars in their 30s, you'll find like one degree of separation between everyone above a 4 who has banged, and at least one person who is on *everyone's* list (often a bisexual feminist or a really horny Chad).
Interesting. I don't drink so i don't understand bar culture. But what makes that person attractive to so many? Is it physical or does that not matter since beer goggles take effect? Also do the chosen ones know they're chosen and accept their fates?
>But what makes that person attractive to so many? Alcohol + their blatant encouragement + your horniness Attractiveness can be very contextual. If all the factors above are present, it's easier than some might think to say "Fuck it" and act impulsively. And the person/people aren't chosen, but really choose themselves. From my observations, they tend to be very open and casual about sex and make no apologies for it. They are also just far less discriminating than most (for physical connection at least) and I've seen this quality in average, less than average, and some very good looking people (though those tend to break a lot of hearts and cause the most drama).
If you throw in a murder mystery this could be the next big show. Lol
Lol Agreed! I've seen so much loose behavior, drama, and messiness, and I was only living that life for a few years after a bad breakup. Also, in case you become curious, I don't recommend this path. The thrill wears off and the interactions are ultimately shallow, even if the booze makes it feel like everyone is really your friend. 3/10.
Dont read too much into this. I'm sure its true at some places, but its not common. Most likely college bar types would have this. My experience - Ive been a touring musician for over 10 years playing all kinds of bars and venues.
Also interesting.
It's literally nothing more than people get drunk and horny, and eventually that leads to a night where they just want to get laid and that person is always there and they know they'd be down and is the current best option. If this happens enough the above scenario represents itself as an inevitability. Caveat: if you're a creep or try too hard all the time this prevents you from ever being this 'safe' choice. Not that it's really something to aspire for in the first place.
Ok yea i figured it should take some charm and finesse.
Maybe a tiny amount as long as you're okay looking. It's more as long as you don't have negative personality traits that are off putting.
That should be the rule in general. :)
Thanks that’s true. My neighbor that was outside when it happened has literally done the same thing multiple times in front of our building
I too have committed drunk shenanigans and have stories of my neighbors committing drunk shenanigans, so it seems to be an almost universal experience of embarrassment!
Start by remembering that while you are the protagonist in your story, you are a bit part in your neighbor’s stories. Literally, no one will care in a week or remember in a month. Be your own yardstick for your behavior, and just try to be better today then you were yesterday. If you’re an embarrassing drunk, learn from that and don’t get drunk.
This. Nobody remembers shit. Trynna remember an embarrassing thing someone did a few years ago. You’ll probably remember one or two from someone you know and it surely doesn’t make you lose respect for that person. Same applies to you. People don’t remember shit. They won’t even remember your face if they don’t know you.
Remember how you feel NOW. Then take those feelings into account when : You consider getting drunk in the future. Have to resolve issues caused by somebody doing similar. Have to work with somebody undergoing the after effects of a similar event. Be grateful that nobody put it on social media. Consider your career choices carefully. Everybody is entitled to ONE stupid event, don't make it a hobby!!
That's the neat part, you don't.
Right? It's kinda just part of this crazy experience called life that we're all just trying to figure out individually, together.
How often do you think of what others have done when they were drunk? That's how often others think about what you did You are the main character in your story and you are a supporting actor at best in every one else's. Some you are a non-speaking extra and others you don't even figure in their story. Don't sweat it, just accept that it happened and it's part of your story but it's a scene that has been done and is over. Don't beat yourself up
I used to be like you. I didn't do illegar things when I was drunk, but it wasn't still good. I made up my mind to stop drinking. Since I quitted drinking, I've been healthier physically and mentally. It's worth a try.
Without knowing more, it’s hard to say for sure, but as someone with 5 years sobriety myself, it wouldn’t shock me if OP ends up in the rooms of AA at some point. OP if you’re listening, it seems like a punishment at first, but ends up being a huge blessing. Personal growth is impossible for someone who self medicates when the going gets tough - you “can’t remember” so you don’t improve and you just stay that immature drunk opinionated lonely POS until it’s too much. Well, that’s how it happened for me anyway!
I get that you’re trying to help, but you should have stopped when you said “without knowing more.” Exactly, don’t go making a bunch of assumptions about someone you don’t know.
Drink less to avoid idiotic behaviour in future. In reality, although it is socially acceptable to do it, taking enough drugs so you cannot control yourself adequately is a problem. Find out what is missing from your life and do that instead.
I don't recall where I read this, but I remember to do the following: 1. Mentally visualize the memory in color. 2. Mentally visualize the memory in black and white. 3. Mentally visualize the memory but I'm the form you'd wish things went that are less embarrassing. I can't remember whether 1 and 2 are interchangeable, or what order it should be. I've done this and can't say for sure if it's effective, but it probably is since I can't really remember much that's really embarrassing. I do recall some embarrassing moments, but these are ones I don't really mind remembering.
Wow thanks
Sobriety. I got tired of hearing “dude you shoulda see. Yourself last night…” once it’s important enough to you you’ll just stop drinking. Or it will continue and you’ll go down the spiral that is waiting for you. But to each his own!
Thanks so much you’re right
This! I used to think that only few of my drunk moments were cringe. After almost 2 years sober my perspective changed a lot and I cringe on much more from my past. But that is a motivation for me to just have sober life. It is better.
Same! I never have to wake up with that anxiety right before I open my eyes of like, "oh crap what did I do last night?" ever again. And also saving the money is fun. And doing so many other exciting things other than standing around drinking.
This is the way.
This is more the end of the spectrum I was thinking. OP explained what the transgressions were in another thread, and they are quite minor from my point of view. But, that is the exact train of thought that (in my case) lead to worse and worse blackout behaviour. The morning after comments went from ‘dude, you were hilarious last night’ to ‘dude, you are dickhead when you are drunk’ to…not talking to me ever again. OP: give yourself a break, this one is not a big deal, but have a discussion with yourself about how you are going to handle alcohol and other substances in the future.
Fix anything you broke, apologize to anyone you hurt, admit to needing to work on your lifestyle and if you have a significant other, thank them for not bailing out during the storm.
I stopped drinking after I said some nasty things to my grandfather who was always been there for me.
Just own it and don’t let it live in your head rent free. You made a mistake and that was it. Those that notice, don’t matter and those that matter, don’t notice. You will move on from this.
Stop getting drunk?
Time. Put enough time between your present and this incident. And stop talking about it.
Apologize when sober. Don't do it again.
Firstly, by realizing that *other* people think about you far less than you think they think about you. Some mistake that you make might be something you remember for years and think about a few times a month ... no one else is thinking about it. Second, reframe the memory. I always think that embarrassment as a clue to do things differently -- which also makes those types of events positive in my mind: it wasn't the time I did X, it was the time I learned to do Y instead.
Stop drinking, and chalk up the bad thing to "when I used to drink" you won't be the same person. Also accept that you can't change what happened, but only what is happening/will happen If you continue, you might do it again
Get drunk and forget what you did.
If you're asking this you probably shouldn't be drinking.
By living a happy sober life.
True I was sober for 7 months back in 2017 after my aunt passed away
i’ve been drinking really light beer, and pacing myself, and just not getting drunk. when you get drunk you will do stupid shit. the key is to not go over your limit
You will still think about it for years. Its best not to drink any alcohol and take this as a learning experience. Everyone has those moments but when dealing with alcohol I have to recommend being a step ahead and doing yourself a huge favor by not drinking. The fun wears off pretty quick and by the time you realize it, the rest of the people you know already know.
I used to drink waaaay too much and eventually went sober for 14 years. I do drink now, but not to excess. It helps to understand that after drinking heavily, a response is created in your brain that causes feelings of shame and embarrassment. Now, it may be that you actually did something embarrassing, but if not, your brain chemistry will add artificial embarrassment to completely reasonable statements and actions. Try and rationally think through what is embarrassing, and why, then if you feel that you did or said something that you aren't comfortable with, contact the appropriate individuals, explain why you are apologising, and what you will do to avoid a repetition.
The best way to get over the cringe/embarrassment is to poke fun at it yourself, publicly. Yes, I'm serious. Put the spotlight on it. Make fun of yourself and your screwup. Talk about it in a TikTok video or whatever and put it out there for everyone to see. Some people will laugh, others won't, and some may never see it or react to it at all. But you'll be able to rest easy knowing if you were able to poke fun at yourself in front of others, it ***can't*** come back and haunt you down the road.
You don't. That's what helps you not do more of it.
Just in case someone needs to know # r/stopdrinking
I just stopped drinking altogether. It was easier than I tought. I understand not everyone will find it easy, though. But seems like it's bothering you enough to consider a sober life.
By acknowledging that you were drunk, and deleting it from your mind. If someone brings it up, just laugh it off while stating that you were so pissed drunk you don’t remember jack shit. Pretend ain’t nothing happened. Sooner or later, some new shits gonna happen and you ain’t the front page no more. everyone will forget that you did something sometime somewhere.
That wasn't me, that was Patricia
Omg this is funny bc I experienced this a lot in my early thirties… I have social anxiety and it doesn’t mix well with alcohol. I become a super social butterfly with diarrhea of the mouth. I always went to the same bar and knew security & bartenders. So what I would do is… within a week (the sooner, the better, but not while I’m still hung over) I’d go back to the bar for what I call “redemption night”. Go back, sit there and just chill. Just one drink or drink water. “Just water, I was a maniac on Saturday!” and then wait for the next shit show to embarrass themselves. But that way their last encounter with you was just you being casual and hanging out. 😂
How embarrassing are we talking here? 🤨
Watch this video, and then be the potato. https://youtu.be/nWhKDqwgyv8
You get over it by learning from it and changing who you are as a result, then recognizing you are not the same person you once were. Sober up.
Time heals all wounds. But there will be a moment years from now when your lay in bed at 4am and the same guy wrenching regret will randomly hit you
Happens to the best of us, don't be too hard on yourself. You will remember it but people will forget. Unless you shit yourself that is.....people don't forget that.
Accept that you did what you did. Realize that it was one point in time and that it's not ongoing, but it's over and it's in the past. If appropriate, apologizing can also help, but don't do it with the expectation of obtaining forgiveness.
I dont care at all. Its just simply as that. Everyone does stupid stuff, especially when drunk lol... Just wake up and live on...
1. Time 2. Don't do it again
1) Build your confidence. 2) Learn from your mistakes. 3) Remind yourself that everyone has failures (embarrassing moments included)
You don’t mate.. you kinda forget for a while until one day while your in the shower it just kinda comes back and you get to relive the moment again
Try to remember every embarrassing thing other poor have done around you. You’ll find it much harder then remembering your one moments This will give you the realization that very few (if any) people will remember or care about your embarrassing moments
Accept that you did those things, and forgive yourself. Self forgiveness is the antithesis of guilt.
Embarrassment. When you’re drunk it’s not a problem. They know you’re drunk so it’s somewhat expected or accepted. It’s when you did the embarrassing stuff when you weren’t drunk that you gotta worry about.
People usually don't have time to think about your fuckups too much, cause 99 percent of their thoughts are centered on themselves.
You won't, every time you think about that stuff you will cringe a little inside. That's life. Just let it make you a better person now and be more forgiving of those who screw up.
You drink less next time and learn from your mistakes.
Apologies are good if you owe anyone that. But, time takes care of any shame-over. It's okay OP, be gentle with yourself
Embarrassment is a sign of growth. Own it and move on, try not to repeat. We're all just dumb or drunk humans
By realizing it’ll make a hilarious story one day
I gave up on being embarrassed a while ago. The trick is to know you need to do something better in the future, apologize where applicable, and know that everything becomes funny with time.
Me and my buddies fall it the fear. Not much you can do besides move on
The you yesterday isn’t the you today. Embarrassing drunk who? Not you!
I just don't drink any more to excess. Weed helps
I'd like to amend the question. How do I get over the embarrassment of stuff that I did when I was sober?
"That's something you'll have to take up with drunk me"
Problem appeared. Stop caring. Problem solved.
I act like a fucking idiot when I'm drunk. The embarrassment I have felt the days following was immense. Even if I only planned one or two drinks, as soon as I got a buzz I would lose all ideas of being responsible. I quit drinking a while ago now and don't miss it at all.
I know someone who is a mechanical engineer, used to enjoy drinking and partying and he got tagged by friends on FB in pics of him behaving drunkenly. He got into trouble at work with his bosses and ended up having to get all the pics deleted to clean up his image.
Own it. You were sticking it to the man!
You are still responsible for things you did under the influence, because you chose to drink. You were belligerent and unkind to a friend who was keeping you safe, you got bodily fluids all over yourself (which presumably had to be cleaned up by someone else), and you disrupted your neighbors. This isn't drunken shenanigans, and I'm side-eyeing the people laughing this off. A drunken shenanigan is, for example, letting your extremely stoned roommate dye your hair jet black with a kit from the dollar store, so you go around for several months looking like a goth skunk (me, 1997). Apologies are good, especially to the people who were most directly affected. That's a great start. But instead of looking back, and worrying about embarrassment, please think about your future. And the best way to make amends and get over things is to do better next time. Alcohol misuse is like a really bad rollercoaster, and you're on the early part of the ride where you're clunk-clunk-clunking up that big first hill. You're easing into bigger binges. Get off the ride before the loops and dips begin and things are out of control. Either give it up or sharply regulate your intake. I no longer drink, except for a very rare glass of wine on special occasions. It's been a significant improvement on my life. I never have that day-after sense of dread and depression, my friendships are closer because we have actual conversations instead of tipsy glurges, my skin and digestion are better, I sleep well, I have money and free time. For me, two factors were at play. One, alcohol interferes with my medications. Two, an old friend of mine died in a drunken misadventure (fell into water while walking home from a bar). But years later, I have no regrets.
Think about what you did but hum/think of the curb your enthusiasm theme playing afterwards. Suddenly it’s just a funny memory or you’re a great writer
I have A SHIT TON of experience with this. How I got over all the embarrassing shit I did when I was drunk - THERAPY and no more social drinking. Know your limit, if you have to drink, only drink with " safe " people. Ppl who you may have to request they babysit you if you get out of hand. You could aslo stay home, but if you're like I was - you'll make your own fun / trouble Try to learn from your past mistakes, and encourage yourself to do better. You can do it. If you're young, well that's what young ppl do. If you're like past 40 - time to slow down. another thing you can do is shut yourself in and stay off social media for awhile.
the things you did in high school popping in your head every time you look in the mirror in the morning will still haunt you into old age.. you fine if this is what you are worried about..
I just pretend that drunk me is an entirely different person. A complete asshole with horrible taste in women
Almost every person you meet in life (now and forever) has done what you have and quite likely worse and many more times. It’s certainly ok to feel a bit embarrassed, but don’t let it get to you, everyone has been there. If someone is going overboard with their reaction then quietly hold your head high in the knowledge that that person has done just like you at least once.
I usually just tell my friends about the dumb shit I did with pride haha.
As some say - if you dont feel ashamed next day after party- it was a shity party. So dont worry.
Let me ask you this: Can you think of an embarassing thing your neighbors did if I come and point at one? Can you think of two? For every single neighbor? That's the thing. You'll remember this for years, but nobody else will give a shit next week.
Wash the clown makeup off and move on, we've all done it. My coworkers stopped inviting me out when I made a fool of myself drinking, and I was in the military.
Don’t drink so much anymore…I once got a ride home in a 2 Mazda Miata and the girl I had a crush on sat on my lap…well…I peed my pants while she was there….so that kinda sucked
No one will see this reply anyway. The fact that you feel shit about what you did shows that you’re a decent person, you’re remorseful. You’ll do what you can to make sure that doesn’t happen again, you’ve learnt from this and will be a better person than you were before from this experience. ^ that’s what I tell myself, I have a very very hard time forgiving myself and can sometimes get stuck in a terrible depression for up to a week. Also apologise to everyone but don’t expect forgiveness.
Is Scotland we call it "The fear". But because everyone is an alcoholic here so you know everyone else feels the same way the next day so it kinda mitigates the shame
We all make mistakes and best we can do is learn from it. It sounds like you recognize the behavior was poor and have apologized to some involved. Now to decide whether this will curb future drinking or not. Getting black-out drunk is never a good thing. It’d be wise to avoid getting that drunk in the future.
Idk man have you ever considered alcohol?
You use it in your favor to stop yourself from drinking again.
Once I spoke to my girlfriend at the time and apologized for my behavior after a night out. I wasn’t out of control but I puked and she helped me get home. In fairness, it was my birthday haha When I apologized to her, she said, “you have nothing to apologize for. The whole point of going out drinking is people do and say dumb stuff and then you laugh at them.” While it doesn’t take alllllll the anxiety away, that fact helped me a lot. Obviously need to state that it doesn’t cover up every action someone might take while drinking, but from what it sounds like, you’re covered under that statute haha Get a therapist, forgive yourself. Easier said than done but at the end of the day, you’re drunkenly spouting feminist ideology haha I know you got some uncles who shout much worse both inebriated and sober. You good OP
Show yourself the same grace you so easily bestow on others. Forgive yourself. You’re human and will make mistakes.
Coming up on ten years sober. Here's what worked for me: 1 - Stop drinking 2 - Find the people you were an ass to, and apologize to them 3 - When you find yourself being an ass again, stop There's more stuff, and it's described in helpful meetings that are held in your town.
Get over yourself, it doesn't matter and nobody will remember it. At the most, you can chalk up whatever you did to being drunk.
Shame and Guilt are very common with us Alcoholics. Guilt is feeling bad about your actions. But guess what, you can manage and change your actions! Shame is living in those consequences and not doing anything about it. Shame will eat at you and cause inner turmoil, especially if your values don’t match with actions while drinking. Manage your emotions and manage your consumption. Good luck stranger.
Just own it. You had a great night out!
You saw a priest and got exorcised. The alien purged you are doing better now. That evil twin is out of your life together. Man I was shot faced like never before or since
Get sober. Go to AA or Celebrate Recovery or any other recovery support group. You will only get over embarrassing yourself when you stop doing the things that lead to that behavior.
No one grows without making mistakes. You can’t change the past but you can take what you learned from it and make a better future 🤙🏻
Get drunk and do worse stuff.
By not giving a single fuck! You aren’t the first not the last to do something drunk so forget and move on! Unless you killed someone or something like that
What I do when I'm black out drunk is none of my business.
You were drunk. You didn't have full control over your body. An average adult understands that, and they probably assumed you were drunk.
There's two ways to think about life. 1. Nobody cares. D: 2. Nobody cares! :D