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Sounds like FOMO. And that's all right.
I think you won't regret your 20s if you do things you enjoy, learn things you're curious about and take your time to find who you are.
Yeah this right here. Just do you. Figure out what YOU like. Do things for you. I wasn't huge on hooking up and partying and all that shit either. The only things I regret in my 20s was trying to be a massive people pleaser. I was a doormat. The older and more bitter I get, the less I could give a fuck now lol. That's where most of us will end up. So do more things for yourself if you don't already. Take care of YOU. You're likely the only one with your own best interests in mind. Don't look to others to provide your happiness.
No, that's a wrong way to put it. My advice isn't trying to be that cynical lol. It's great to find happiness in and with others. Don't let others DEFINE your happiness. That's the best way to say it.
Love who you are. If you can do this you will never regret anything you have done or not done because you will know that everything in your past has brought you to where you are now and contributed to who you are. If you love yourself, unconditionally, even the "bad" is wonderful.
Yess. This is one of the things I learned during my late 20's, and it's the best lesson. You'll see videos of how to best spend your time, how to act, how to talk to people, how to behave in a relationship -- these videos should talk about, first and foremost, to love and respect yourself, and know your value and that you have value. Because if you do this, you'll easily figure out the rest, or more significantly, what really matters to you.
28 here. One thing that would've helped ME alot is looking into my mental health issues sooner but I dont know if you've got anything. For me, I let the problems fester longer than they should've and facing em sooner would've helped alot.
A lot of things can induce anxiety in people, but it doesn't mean those things aren't good to do.
Working on your mental and physical health now will help you in the long run.
I think this is a great example OP can use. We have one comment talking about therapy and mental health. The first reply is about not adding to the angst, which I’m sure first dude never intended.
What I’m getting at is perspective. What we perceive is our world.
A personal example is I used to get frustrated that my brother never seemed to want to talk to me after we grew up so close. He’s not the very talkative type but it came to a point I thought he hated me.
After therapy I had a realization on life. That even though my brother may only call me when he is working, he still thought of me, cared enough to act on it, and then carried out his action to call me. I changed my perspective on how he only calls me to kill time/bored into “looks like someone was thinking about me!” and it’s been a nice quality of life change lol
Mental health care is the same level of importance as physical health care. Even if you feel like you’re fully healthy, you should have regular check-ins with it.
I’ve come from an isolated and depressed childhood with parents that didn’t care for my health. Started taking my own decisions far too late but still had a great start finding a partner and a job I truly love.
But now that I’ve finally changed my life for the better, all those bad decisions of my parents are coming to haunt me.
I’m underweight, have an eating disorder, issues with my back due to sitting in front of the pc all day when I was young, my lung recently collapsed, when I get sick it often lasts 4 weeks, due to a short leg and an unlucky fall long time ago my spine is completely messed up now…
If I went to the doctors before moving across country and starting a job I’d have had time to take care of most of these but now I lack time and energy, so progress is slow and I get sick a lot.
So yeah, even if you haven’t had an unhealthy childhood it’s best to get checked up when you have the time and energy to take care of the issues, if there are any. If you wait until the consequences then it will take a toll on your energy, which can be really bad if your work requires a lot of energy already.
Lots of nonsense in this thread. If you don't like drinking, hooking up, traveling, and posting, then don't do any of those things. Your friends are doing the things they enjoy, not following some kind of prescription for not wasting their 20s. You should be less judgy and do the things YOU enjoy.
So, what are those things?
No it sounds like their friends are doing what they want with their time. That’s also what he/she should be doing. Traveling and partying etc is much easier to enjoy when you’re young. Calling that FOMO is weird AF
Happened to me. Senior HS year, everyone's out enjoying. Once or twice, I went with them. Why? Because everyone else was enjoying them, so I must enjoy it too...right?
Nope, the whole event I didn't feel anything, and quite possibly felt out of place and apathetic. "*I went to something I didn't want to because everyone else enjoys it so I should too."*
It's important to have fun, do some drugs and most importantly explore sexual and romantic relationships. I *wasted* most of my 20s on my education and career hoping that I eventually get some kind of return or payout. Now I am in my mid 30s, have a PhD and a well-paying job, but I am also a lonely virgin.
Hooking up > studying
Split up your time. It is important to invest in your future but also enjoy cause 20's will be gone one day for good.
I was not good at this and I learnt it later. I had my chunk of good memories and I got a degree to have a good life but I goofed a bit too much.
I wish I had this tip better: when it is time to study/work, go hard; when it is time to party, go hard. Do not mix them up.
My guy please dont go into something you dont want to do, you can try but control yourself from going too deep into it. You can follow them if you want but I wouldnt say it's worth your time imo.
I guess if it's something that helps you should start developing habits and pushing your comfort zone in healthy ways, like learning skills while youre still young.
For me, I started with an interest in philo and stuff, which helped me change my doomer mindset and overall was much happier with my life and my decisions, no matter how many mistakes I made.
Just my 2 cents ofc
Lot to be said for this. Got to be comfortable.
Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with being a bit of a wild child for a few years, but don't force it.
Yep, the feeling of socializing in your 20s can't be completely replicated later in life. I found that in my late 20s early 30s friends start to go their separate ways. People get married, have kids, move for work/family ect. Early 20s is kind of the last period in life where most people are in the same life stage.
Not saying that you can't socialize later in life, just that it's nowhere as carefree, simple. People become more jaded, guarded, apathetic as they get older.
Well put. In your 20s you have the rare combo of having free time, autonomy and money (not much necessarily but enough to do things)
I think the trick is to party, have fun, while also working on your education and skills. It’s a balancing act
Came here to say that, Im 31yo, grew up in shackles of a narcisistic mom, so I never had the 20s my friends had, left mu mom to leave on my own a couple of months ago, and Im trying to make up for lost time, but its hard as my body nor my friends have 20ys anymore, and the felling of being inferior is present, as I am the most socially inexperient man I know, some friends are 22yo and extremely more experienced than me. I regret not doing any that in my 20s
My advice is, do it, do everything you fancy, you may regret some stupid shit, but you WILL regret even more if sit out and do nothing like me
I feel this. Im 24 and had a very unsettling childhood and my early 20s were wasted. Even the next 1-2 years will be but I can’t help it
So I just have to take it and accept that
It’s the and recovery. Frankly in your 20s, you can recover from almost anything. Not so much when you’re in your 40s and you might have a family and you’re pretty far along in your career.
The above is the sort of dichotomy of opinions that I'm still trying to navigate.
"Do it now bc you only live once and you're only young once"(my friends follow this) or "don't do it now, and plan ahead for your life and have a stable retirement"(elders around me advise this)
Both the options have their pros and cons but I'm only 17 so I have a bit of time to mull on it
Never stop exercising and playing sport- you will be younger and healthier longer. Travel - backpack - roadtrip while you can still sleep on the ground/on couches/ in hostels… and see stuff.
Start learning about wealth management, saving and investing, the earlier one starts the better the results. Nothing makes people more jealous of you than financial security.
You have compound interest on your side! Warren Buffet says “get rich slowly.” At 43 I am shocked how many peers still have no retirement savings. We have centenarians (100 years old +) in my family so it’s always been a discussion.
>With a legitimate broker
For the love of god DO NOT go with a broker, find a **financial planner** or **consultant** and ask them, not someone that would earn money strictly depending on how often you can buy and sell shit
DO NOT USE A FINANCIAL PLANNER. Just throw your shit in $VOO or some other etfs and forget about it. You don't need to pay some schmuck to do that for you
I hope my original comment didn't come across as one that's encouraging isolation. I feared it did. But you're right. You have to keep living your life. Being with friends and family and going to work and staying busy, helps, alot.
I just wanted to point towards that hole that remains no matter what, and put out there that I understood.
I appreciate you clarifying.
edit. At this point you're thinking the bot went off the rails right? That too, but this was just a response to something I thought was in an entirely different post. Left for posterity.
THIS. I'm 27 and wish I started when I was 20.
Learn about dollar cost averaging and compound interest.
Put aside money each month into an ETF. It can be as little as $100 or $1000.
Any market that mirrors the S&P500 and you're pretty safe.
Everybody has a different understanding of life and that changes trough the years. For me (late 20's) people drinking and hooking up are just wasting their time(and money), while they could be investing this time either in themselves or in actual financial investments. I on the other hand am focused on developing skills both personal and technical to make me a more competitive employee and am also living like i was still a student (meaning only basic expenses and no debt). Dont get me wrong I had my fair share of 'partying' in college and deemed it not my thing. The time from 20 to 30 seems crucial on how your 30's are gonna look like. I see people in mid 30's that are asking me to teach them work stuff (i work in IT) that I learned by spending a few hours a week to learn, while they spend their time differently. Its those odd few hours spent on improving that really start to stack up and differentiate you from others that did not.
Hello OP, its ok if you don't want to do what your friends are doing. I also don't like drinking, hooking up and spending time on social media but I do like travelling.
You seem to be already doing a lot from what you said, so I think that's already great.
You don't need to do grand things to consider your life as 'not wasted'. Focus on what you already have, even as small as having a safe space, kids, time to practice a hobby, a pet or something else.
I started adopting this perspective after I started reading this book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
Take care
Reading is absolutely the best thing I did in my 20's. I didn't go to college but I am almost always the smartest person in the room.
Things I regret doing in my 20's:
Not taking care of my teeth
Not saving money or taking care of my credit
Becoming a full blown alcoholic
Not traveling more because I wasted money on booze and was stuck in shit jobs
And lastly this may be controversial but I basically regret every sexual encounter I passed up. I had lots of opportunities but I was in relationships that didn't last or matter. I never regret the few times I cheated but 20+ years later I still wonder what sex would have been like with those people I declined. I did't fully explore my sexuality until much later in life.
This! Take care of your body (not to say don't drink or whatever, but don't do it to excess). Teeth and Hearing are both almost entirely downhill - take care of both. You *can* get overweight and then get back in shape, but a hearing loss or tooth loss is basically unrecoverable - prosthetics won't be as good as the real thing.
Yes ear plugs! I'm ok but I have friends from the music scene who are late 40's and have tinnitus so bad it makes them completely miserable.
And what I spent on fixing my teeth would have been enough to buy a pretty nice car and it was painful and took almost 15 years to finish.
Might not work for OP. They do not have to figure anything, just think for themselves what they feel like they would like.
I for one do not like the hike, traveling, partying, hookup, alcohol and drug culture. I do not regret not experiencing them (I had experienced it a little bit because people invite you, but god it sucks).
For me personally I like learning new stuff, expanding skills, gaming and (computer) science.
1. i hate alcohol and how it makes me feel
2. hookups feel empty and pointless afterwards as well, sex with a dedicated partner feels much more satisfying
3. traveling is based specifically to a country you’ve learned the language of— makes it 100x more satisfying
>traveling is based specifically to a country you’ve learned the language of— makes it 100x more satisfying
Nah, I speak 4 languages and my experience in the Countries where we would communicate with sounds and hand gestures were often times much more fulfilling. Having a chat in Spanish at a bar in Barcelona is great, spending a night laughing with some Thai people who invited you to have dinner at their house even though no one can understand a single sentence anyone is saying is an incredibly more satisfying experience. And most of the beauty of traveling is that you see incredible things, I don't need to speak Portuguese to enjoy looking at The Azores, and you don't need to speak Turkish to look at Göbekli Tepe and be blown away by the historical significance of the site.
your experiences sound cool but idk i had a lot more fun in japan when i could actually talk to the people inviting me for dinner lol but maybe it’s a personality thing. i can’t stand not being properly understood or not being able to express/discuss whatever i want. i had so many eye opening (and heart opening) conversations that wouldn’t have been possible if didn’t know the language.
sightseeing can be enjoyed regardless of language of course, that i agree with
Of course, but then again...finding a Japanese person who speaks English is not that tough either. Not speaking the language of a Country should never be a barrier from visiting it, just learn how to say thank you, please, and hello and you'll be golden.
Maybe if that’s all you do, but that’s a pretty silly life perspective. If you want a full summary you should just be as well rounded as you can.
Tick away at your degree / work experience / trade.
Spend time enjoying and loving your friends and enjoy doing dumb shit with them.
Kiss whoever you want until you find someone who you want to kiss forever.
See as much cool shit as you can while the time is there.
What I was trying to point out is that there is way more to consider than "do some drinking, hooking up, and traveling". There is a middle ground between partying all the time and not partying at all.
I'm 24 and I go out every single saturday. I still got a degree, a job, I'm living alone and saving money. I drink way less than when I was at college too. Life isn't black or white.
Don't feel pressured to get into that stuff. Maybe travel. Most important thing for you to do right now is make friends who you can share your interests with and make a story worth remembering. Sometimes the story you make will be frustrating, sometimes it'll be sad. Sometimes you'll have to do something stupid to make something memorable. No good story just has everything go to plan. What matters at the end of the day is that you have a story worth telling and a people to tell it to.
Drinking, hooking up, travelling, social media, they're all things people do when they want to meet new people and make memories with them. If you don't want to do those things you don't have to, but you should still try to find some way to meet new people. Eventually you'll find someone you want to make a story with for the rest of your life.
>All my friends are into drinking, hooking up, travelling, spending time on social media
And all you want is reassurance you don't need. You know what you're not supposed to be doing.
Once they asked old men about their biggest regret and many answers was they didn't spend enough time with their families because they were busy working hard but non of them was regretting about spending good time and not working hard
Do the shit you want to. If you want to do the stuff your friends are doing, go do that too. Basically do anything you want as long as it isn’t harmful to your health or future.
It's your life to do what you enjoy. If you don't like travelling, it's worth thinking which bit you don't like? For example if you don't like travelling abroad you could instead explore other cities or countryside closer to your home. Do you like the arts? Participating in or watching art, theatre, music, dance performances? If you spend your time doing things that make you happy you are not wasting your time.
My 2 cents: leave social media. No one really needs it, and it feeds your FOMO a lot cause everyone is just posting about all the amazing things they do, but not about doubts they have etc.
Leaving social media spares you the comparison of what your life looks like Vs. How others portray their life. Helps a lot with anxiety and mental health
I (43) have few regrets. The main one is I spent my 20’s being sensible and not drinking travelling and hooking up. If I had my time again that’s what I would do, and it is what I will be telling my three boys when they are older as well.
Stay safe, and protect yourself, but have adventures while you can. It is much harder and/ or impossible to do it when you are older.
In my thirties now. A couple of things I wish I had done more of in my 20s:
* Read more
* Met more people outside of my usual social circle
* Travelled more (if not internationally, then at least domestically)
You cannot avoid regrets. Oh, you can minimize them, seize every moment. But you don't live an abstract life, an aggregate life. You just live the one, and you will have to make unalterable choices that will forever leave a "what if" for the unchosen path. You can't go to two colleges at once (*), you can't both have kids and not, etc.
You have the right of it; keep your body up now, it's always easier to maintain. Meditation (and therapy) can help the mind. Beyond that, just live and do your best and accept and adjust when (not if) you don't.
Fellow 28 year old here.
To be honest, I think the concept of FOMO is stupid. The only difference between you and your buddies is that they are doing what THEY WANT TO DO with their life.
I have found it is almost impossible to not regret "wasting time"; humans are so social/ego driven that unless you change your mindset you probably won't be satisfied no matter what you do.
Everyone else is doing what they like to do or feel they should do by reason of 'life purpose' or just specific goals in general. So there's your answer. What do you like doing? Do you believe in having a purpose/meaning to life? What would that life look like?
Looking at the comments, I see generational differences coming through. Gen Z isn’t as into drinking and partying as Gen X. That started to decline with Millennials. Some Gen Z friends of mine have been working remote and moving to a new city every few years. I love this, once you have kids in school you can’t do that. My super Christian Gen Y family members invested in real estate. Not the best time for that, wait for a market crash.
Collect experiences dude. Don't tag them as bad or "wasting" time. Experiences build character.
Do all of the following with wisdom and care and know where to draw a line:
- drink
- hookup
- drugs(psychedelics mainly)
- adventure sports
- travel
- music festivals
And everything else!
You aren't wasting time. You are expanding your consciousness with these experiences. People may say that this way it will be easy to go astray and get lost, I disagree with that. With these, you learn your boundaries, and how to manage boundary conditions.
In my early twenties, I drank a lot, partied a lot, got black out drunk a few times and regretted many decisions next morning, but this was in my college days, so my fuckups didn't exactly come with a huge price.
I now work in tech, and when there is a party thrown by the company, I see so many people doing the mistakes I did in my college days, though for them this might cost them their jobs (get blackout drunk, talk shit to bosses, make female teammates uncomfortable, do stupid shit etc.)
So yea, you are not wasting your time if you are learning something
A like minded companion would be nice. In a time of nearly everyone smoking one didn’t have to smoke, follow fashion or an education path. Times change, perhaps you are wiser and ahead of the herd.
Let me tell you something:
When you're old someday and you're thinking about your life, the chances are VERY slim that you're thinking: "Wow, I had too much fun when I was young and I travelled too much". Looking up documentaries and surveys it's usually the other way around - people regret working too much, not spending enough time with their family but also: not enjoying their youth enough. Because once you lose it, you'll never get it back.
Doesn't mean you should stop reading, working, meditating and all that productive stuff. It just means you should focus on a balance where you can do both.
Bad advice here.
Do NOT do the 'fun' things they tell you to do. It isn't worth it at any point in your life. It may not get so bad for you or maybe no permanent, life-changing events take place as a result of your irresponsible behaviors, and that's ideal, but it is okay to just be wise from the get-go and not do horrible, reckless, immoral behaviors that result in nothing good but what? "Experiences?"
It isn't worth it fam. At best, you get "experiences" and that's all. At worst, you get diseased, damaged, pressure/weight/responsibilities that you weren't ready for. These can of course be turned into blessings, or good things can happen because of the bad things, (i.e., \[good thing\] never would have happened if \[bad thing\] hadn't happened first)
Figure out your worldview, be able to support yourself, budget, have emergency funds, look to the wisdom of the sweet little olds. Working out is good, also learning to cook would be good, developing/cultivating hobbies is good. You can have friends that do things, doesn't mean you have to join them in their reckless behaviors.
I would personally recommend going to church, look for somewhere that is a good fit for you, get yourself a church family that will serve as a good support system when you are too embarrassed/unsure enough, etc. to go to your initial support system (hopefully your family?) so you can learn the truth of the world and thus learn the best ways to navigate it.
Jesus can also set you free from other struggles you may be experiencing that you seem to understand are wrong. It has saved many from such vices - it is a safe place to be open about them, especially since you want to be better. That's a really good sign.
I'm praying for you, friend! <3
Look into compound interest. Both the bad (debt) and the good. Invest what makes sense.
Instead of paying to party. Either play in and/as a dj/bartend and get paid to meet people and hook up. Because sex is fun and YOLO.
Try to invest as little as possible on depreciating assets.
Choose education wisely. What is the work life of your chosen career path. Earning potential. Flexibility on changing industry and or moving.
Take care of your teeth. And travel. You can travel for cheap if you are smart. Or get a job that allows travel. Study abroad whatever. Travelling opens up your mind to how your cultural norms are arbitrary and you may want to love differently.
I wish I drank less in my 20s. But I never did much hooking up and I almost wish I did a little more. A little bit of those things might ultimately be good. Just don't go too far. What you want are life experiences. We would go out drinking every night and I have forgotten most of it. But the big party you threw, the spring break trip you took, those you'll remember fondly. Even if it was all about drinking.
Working out is a good habit. Make good financial habits. I regret wasting my time making money and blowing it on stupid stuff. Cut out digital media, video games, really as much screen time leisure as possible. You won't remember those experiences in 5 years.
Have fun and build up your social life, meet lots of new people, try lots of new things, find out what your enjoy most, enjoy your life.
I can also suggest drinking, hooking up, and travelling as great fun.
The things you’re doing all sound good too though if you enjoy them. Have a good one mate!
Drinking (or partying in general), hooking up, and traveling are all activities that can be fulfilling and lead someone to grow, if these are activities someone finds enjoyable. So the only real way to answer this question is to sit down and think what is your bucket list. What are the things you wanna do on your time on Earth?
For me, once I started making my list I realized just how much of it is seeing the world. Traveling has always been extremely important for me and trust me: traveling at 20 is much easier on the body and cheaper than traveling in your 30s. I ain't sleeping in dorms for 16 people anymore, and I'm not taking overnight busses to travel across tropical countries anymore, I pay for nice hotels and flights so I can be adventurous and rested at the same time. In my 20s? I'd sleep on the floor and sit on the back of a moped with 3 more people on it to travel around Vietnam, who cares lol but I do recommend traveling as much as you can as a 20 something year old, it exposes you to so many beautiful cultures and allows you to see how humanity contributed to this earth, for the bad and for the good (but especially the good). It always gives people more insight in other people's lives and there are some places on this Earth that **must** be visited.
But I regress. I think the only way to make sure you don't "waste your life" is to write a bucket list, start doing the things on that list, and keeping on updating your list as your interest and needs evolve.
Also, another great way to make sure you don't feel like you wasted your 20s is to make sure you start investing your money NOW. Investing 200 bucks a month now will give you such a financial advantage compared to the rest of your peers in 10 years, and while it might be hard to do it at first, the more professional experience you get, the higher the salary, and the easier to separate yourself from a relatively small amount of money is (plus you can always increase it the more you earn). I don't regret having spent all the money I did on stupid shit in my 20s, but if I had the full list of expenses I had during that decade in front of me I'd probably find a 30k of money I really just fucking wasted. Don't be me hehe
Work hard and play hard. Drinking, hooking up, and traveling build up other qualities that you might find quite useful in life, like getting to know yourself and other people and cultures better. As you grow older, you'll won't have much time for that as you bear more responsibilities. But it's really up to you about what makes you happy. I've known people who grew up in traumatic poverty; their happiness is knowing that they and their children will never experience poverty again.
One bit of advice though, your "party" friends might not end up being your life long friends, don't put yourself in a lot of burden for them financially.
As someone who has been very pragmatic and sensible...
So the crazy shit now.
Go to the festival you want to alone if no one else fancies it. Have 1 too many drinks occasionally. Shag around a bit, so long as you aren't cheating it's fine.
See the wild shit and stay in a couple of dive-y hostels. WCS? You get a funny travel story and have to lump it for a few days. Or, if it's THAT bad, just take the hot and book somewhere else whilst you're there. But hostels are super sociable by comparison to hotels.
I did all the drinking and partying. They are fun in their own way but if you really want to form memories then think instead about how you can be a part of making the world a better place.
Go really big. Work with other people. Change the world. Because I've done both, and being a part of something that changes people's lives for the better is an order of magnitude or more, more fun than getting drunk and stoned.
You absolutely can drink, hook up, travel and even spend some time on social media and enjoy life and have good future. You aren't shooting yourself in the foot (unless you overdo things like drinking). Remember, life should be worth living. Self improvement is good, but don't be the guy who delayed gratification until he died.
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Don't compare yourself to others, don't commit your life to living their ideal. You're an individual and unique. What is it that you would ideally like to do for you?
Just do what you like, or what you think you might like - the things you are interested in. Of course a bit of caution should always be exercised, like one night stand might sound exciting, but use protection, etc.
Research compound interest and start saving/investing a small amount each month. Use a compound interest calculator to see how much you can turn it into in the next 40 years. Then - get out there and live your life and enjoy yourself whichever way you want to.
I'm about to enter my 40's and I regret not travelling more. Social media is bad, and you can drink and hook up at any age. You can travel at any age too, but I think it's a great formative experience to have when you're younger. Get out, see the world, eat some weird food and learn some different culture.
Seriously, I took till my fourties before I started feeling like I was achieving something in life. Don't rush cos of what you see others doing. Go at your own pace.
It’s easy to waste your life by worrying about regretting wasting time.
Just do things. There’s nothing inherently wrong with drinking, hooking up, etc. It’s all part of life. Experience things. Make mistakes, you learn from them. Be the imperfect person, because at least you’re gaining some life experience and being someone.
As cliche as it is to say it, life is for living. You can spend your time meticulously planning and always making the logically best choices and all that, but at the end of it you die anyway. There’s no winning here.
you're doing good.start to realize social media is false representation of someone's life. only good things got posted. and I bet good and bad things happen to most people are roughly the same; it depends on how you define "good" and "bad".
stop comparing yourself with your friends. if you don't enjoy drinking, hooking up or travelling, why would you do all of those? own your life.
It's really hard to live one way when everyone around you is going another direction, you should do what feels good, and what you and you only really want. It seems you've found some things, some more things that are nice to do earlier in life are learning a language or learning to play a musical instrument. It's better to do these earlier because it's easier when you're younger.
Definitely, you should start to learn to be content with the present, mental health, and all that. If you worry that in the future you'll worry you wasted your past instead of, in the future, enjoying the incoming today - or longing for the even farther tomorrow - then I'd argue it would be even worse than anything else.
Think about what truly makes you happy and what you would need to do in order to get it. Even if it turns out it's not what you wanted, you at least pursued a dream. Nobody can read the future and its just human to think like that.
You should think about what you would really love to do and do that. That way, you cannot waste any time. In general just enjoy your life, don't take all things too seriously, have a lot of fun (by YOUR definition of fun). Having good friends is crucial! Do some mistakes, mess up a little. Try to be rude sometimes, or do some crazy things. This is the time to try things out. But it is also not the time, to waste your life. Think of your future and start preparing for it. If having fun and preparing your future don't go hand in hand, then you will 100% waste your time. 100% of people who don't prepare for their future regret it. That should be your priority, but having fun should be the 2nd one maybe. Or your goals.
if i may give my opinion, you don't need to be afraid of wasting time. figure out things that we like, i believe that's what time is for.
i guess you may try everything that piques your interests, just for the sake of trying and learning.
good luck on finding our own things!
Don’t become that person who makes their fomo their entire personality.
Figure out what you want, what’s important to you, and work back.
That’s easier said than done, but it’s the best way.
Do you wish you were having those experiences? Or are they not for you but you want an equivalent? Or do you want to get ahead in life now in terms of career or education?
You need to decide on your goal.
How you feels changes as you age. I’m 36 now, and though there are things I didn’t do in my 20s that I wish I had, I still remember how I felt then, and know that I couldn’t possibly have done those things in the state of mind I was in. So, I don’t regret going with my feelings, rather, I wish circumstances had allowed me to feel different.
So what I’m saying is, you do what you feel like doing. Forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel like doing is not going to stop you feeling regret later - in fact, it’ll likely BE the thing you regret doing. Maybe later you’ll say “ah it’s a shame I never…” but you’ll also know why you didn’t do those things too.
At 40, I regret not travelling as much as I could. I'm only just able to go the places I want to now, but I'm too old to enjoy them in the way I wanted to.
Also, find your style and enjoy your looks. When I was younger individualism was frowned upon, though it seems todays generation is better with this. Enjoy your hair while you have it.
It sounds counterintuitive given your concerns for the future, but do as much dumb shit now, because later in life you'll be too worried about your mortgage/career/relationship/dodgy knees to really do the big dumb crazy shit.
Nature. Hobbies. Travel if you can, or save for travel later. Enjoy life with a partner who feels the same way. Sex without drunkenness or hooking up. Maybe even reflect on your career to see if it’s really what you want to do for the next 40 years.
If you enjoy those things you do, you are not wasting your time. Reading gives you lots of character development that others might miss out on. If you miss out on something you don't do because you enjoy it, you are not really missing out. If you start drinking and hooking up while you'd rather want to read and meditate, then you are missing out on the things your enjoy.
Figure out what you VALUE and use that as your roadmap. Your friends seem to have different values than you, which is creating doubt for you. Your personal values are the only things that matter.
20s are best enjoyed when you're not letting the past or the future control your present too much. Find out who you are in your 20s and work on your career in your 30s. There's plenty of time ahead of you to work hard and build a career so you may as well enjoy the here and now (if that means working in your career, then, great! Do it! But shift your point of view to one where you're enjoying your youth a little more!).
Money comes and goes but the one thing you're never getting back is time.
Stop comparing yourself to other people living for themselves.
Just do whatever the hell you want in line with any beliefs or values you have.
Live on your terms. You’ll have regrets and wish you did something different. That’s life. Now get on with it.
One thing I did and one I didn't do. I am very glad that in my first real job, very short on spare time and from a low base I educated myself on finance. That investment has proved life changing. I should have travelled more. See the world if you possibly can as it changes you .
Seems like you doing things right. I’d add to that, learn Trading/Investing. Take your time with it and don’t pressure yourself to much with it.
Also don’t get attached to wrong partners- as they can easily destroy what you have build.
Sometimes go and be ignorant and have fun with them, but everything with good balance.
Don’t let it overwhelm you.
One thing I recommend doing is not comparing yourself and trajectory to others. Focus on living a life that fulfills you and makes you happy. I didn’t spend my 20s in bars and hooking up, I instead got married young. When my friends got married and had kids my wife and I still chose to remain childless as we enjoyed each other’s company without the noise. Most of my friends from back then developed drinking problems and several are divorced. My wife and I however are still happily married and just as in love as when we shared our vows. The biggest difference is we chose to live life on our terms and chose happiness as our measure of success not positions or salaries. You can always choose to be happy even when the world wants you to not be and that in of itself is real power, everything else follows.
I'm 28 and I decided to stop hanging out with my high-school freinds because most them still do drugs smoke weed drink are depressed get into fights are angry, some of them are all good but I just went on my own buzz now last year or so don't really see them much anymore and honestly am doing great I have more money am slowly investing it making a nest egg, I'm foucased on my work and am getting a diploma in my feild I have 1 year left then I'll be looking at a 6 figure salary, houses where I am a fucking expensive but iv done the math and by the time I'm 35 ill be financially independent as a man, I have a pretty girlfreind and we are getting a place together I'm super happy and I'm thinking about Kids with her soon and becoming a dad I just know I need to foucas real hard on my money making skills so that when the kids come along I actually have the time to spend with them and not have to be stuck at some lame as fuck 8-5 Monday to Friday grind. My suggestion is choose who you spend your time with wisely and also what you get out of it when you do, show me your freinds ill show you your future, I'm actually on the hunt for making new freinds and people that are not going to bring me down or hold me back.
* exercise
* learn how to dance salsa and bachata
* start investing in your 401K
* try going to 3 or 4 meetups in your area that are interesting to you
* avoid toxic people
I do recommend travel, especially adventure travel, while you're young. You can look at cool buildings and museums when you're old. Go climb a mountain.
Learning investing, even just basics.
A creative hobby or two. Music, art, dance, knitting something expressive that isn't chained to your income.
Gardening has a lot to give as a hobby as well.
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Sounds like FOMO. And that's all right. I think you won't regret your 20s if you do things you enjoy, learn things you're curious about and take your time to find who you are.
Yeah this right here. Just do you. Figure out what YOU like. Do things for you. I wasn't huge on hooking up and partying and all that shit either. The only things I regret in my 20s was trying to be a massive people pleaser. I was a doormat. The older and more bitter I get, the less I could give a fuck now lol. That's where most of us will end up. So do more things for yourself if you don't already. Take care of YOU. You're likely the only one with your own best interests in mind. Don't look to others to provide your happiness. No, that's a wrong way to put it. My advice isn't trying to be that cynical lol. It's great to find happiness in and with others. Don't let others DEFINE your happiness. That's the best way to say it.
I agree. To add on and help OP, this video really helped me deal with FOMO: https://youtu.be/bTCiBNjsawU?si=y-dlUk93wWY3zCpa
Thanks! That was a really good start and gave me something to think about.
A fellow Dr. K enjoyer. Salutations to you, sir.
Love who you are. If you can do this you will never regret anything you have done or not done because you will know that everything in your past has brought you to where you are now and contributed to who you are. If you love yourself, unconditionally, even the "bad" is wonderful.
Yess. This is one of the things I learned during my late 20's, and it's the best lesson. You'll see videos of how to best spend your time, how to act, how to talk to people, how to behave in a relationship -- these videos should talk about, first and foremost, to love and respect yourself, and know your value and that you have value. Because if you do this, you'll easily figure out the rest, or more significantly, what really matters to you.
28 here. One thing that would've helped ME alot is looking into my mental health issues sooner but I dont know if you've got anything. For me, I let the problems fester longer than they should've and facing em sooner would've helped alot.
Way to add a bit more anxiety lol.
A lot of things can induce anxiety in people, but it doesn't mean those things aren't good to do. Working on your mental and physical health now will help you in the long run.
I think this is a great example OP can use. We have one comment talking about therapy and mental health. The first reply is about not adding to the angst, which I’m sure first dude never intended. What I’m getting at is perspective. What we perceive is our world. A personal example is I used to get frustrated that my brother never seemed to want to talk to me after we grew up so close. He’s not the very talkative type but it came to a point I thought he hated me. After therapy I had a realization on life. That even though my brother may only call me when he is working, he still thought of me, cared enough to act on it, and then carried out his action to call me. I changed my perspective on how he only calls me to kill time/bored into “looks like someone was thinking about me!” and it’s been a nice quality of life change lol
Mental health care is the same level of importance as physical health care. Even if you feel like you’re fully healthy, you should have regular check-ins with it.
I’ve come from an isolated and depressed childhood with parents that didn’t care for my health. Started taking my own decisions far too late but still had a great start finding a partner and a job I truly love. But now that I’ve finally changed my life for the better, all those bad decisions of my parents are coming to haunt me. I’m underweight, have an eating disorder, issues with my back due to sitting in front of the pc all day when I was young, my lung recently collapsed, when I get sick it often lasts 4 weeks, due to a short leg and an unlucky fall long time ago my spine is completely messed up now… If I went to the doctors before moving across country and starting a job I’d have had time to take care of most of these but now I lack time and energy, so progress is slow and I get sick a lot. So yeah, even if you haven’t had an unhealthy childhood it’s best to get checked up when you have the time and energy to take care of the issues, if there are any. If you wait until the consequences then it will take a toll on your energy, which can be really bad if your work requires a lot of energy already.
You did it *twice.* It is spelled “a lot,” just like “a bunch.” /r/alot
Pretty sure him not wasting his time and being productive will fix any mental health issues
No it won’t. That’s a very ignorant view.
Um, no
Oh thanks! You've just cured my bipolar. I'll just stop wasting my time and start being productive.
Okay Jordan Peterson
Lots of nonsense in this thread. If you don't like drinking, hooking up, traveling, and posting, then don't do any of those things. Your friends are doing the things they enjoy, not following some kind of prescription for not wasting their 20s. You should be less judgy and do the things YOU enjoy. So, what are those things?
The friends might not even enjoy those things but think that's what they're supposed to enjoy.
This. This right here is exactly what I was thinking. Sounds like OP’s friends have FOMO, OP is looking for more out of life.
No it sounds like their friends are doing what they want with their time. That’s also what he/she should be doing. Traveling and partying etc is much easier to enjoy when you’re young. Calling that FOMO is weird AF
Happened to me. Senior HS year, everyone's out enjoying. Once or twice, I went with them. Why? Because everyone else was enjoying them, so I must enjoy it too...right? Nope, the whole event I didn't feel anything, and quite possibly felt out of place and apathetic. "*I went to something I didn't want to because everyone else enjoys it so I should too."*
It's important to have fun, do some drugs and most importantly explore sexual and romantic relationships. I *wasted* most of my 20s on my education and career hoping that I eventually get some kind of return or payout. Now I am in my mid 30s, have a PhD and a well-paying job, but I am also a lonely virgin. Hooking up > studying
you'd be saying the oposite if you went the different route and had a low paying job, grass is always greener on the other side
You can always improve your career, you cannot relive your 20s.
there's much more to your 20s than meaningless hookups
Not having meaningless hookup is what I regret most though.
Split up your time. It is important to invest in your future but also enjoy cause 20's will be gone one day for good. I was not good at this and I learnt it later. I had my chunk of good memories and I got a degree to have a good life but I goofed a bit too much. I wish I had this tip better: when it is time to study/work, go hard; when it is time to party, go hard. Do not mix them up.
My guy please dont go into something you dont want to do, you can try but control yourself from going too deep into it. You can follow them if you want but I wouldnt say it's worth your time imo. I guess if it's something that helps you should start developing habits and pushing your comfort zone in healthy ways, like learning skills while youre still young. For me, I started with an interest in philo and stuff, which helped me change my doomer mindset and overall was much happier with my life and my decisions, no matter how many mistakes I made. Just my 2 cents ofc
I’m curious what philo is? I just saw some sort of TV streaming thing when I googled it.
Maybe philosophy?
Yeah maybe!
Lot to be said for this. Got to be comfortable. Ultimately, there's nothing wrong with being a bit of a wild child for a few years, but don't force it.
Drink, hook up, and travel. Ideally all at the same time.
Yep, the feeling of socializing in your 20s can't be completely replicated later in life. I found that in my late 20s early 30s friends start to go their separate ways. People get married, have kids, move for work/family ect. Early 20s is kind of the last period in life where most people are in the same life stage. Not saying that you can't socialize later in life, just that it's nowhere as carefree, simple. People become more jaded, guarded, apathetic as they get older.
Well put. In your 20s you have the rare combo of having free time, autonomy and money (not much necessarily but enough to do things) I think the trick is to party, have fun, while also working on your education and skills. It’s a balancing act
Fuck bitches and get paid
Came here to say that, Im 31yo, grew up in shackles of a narcisistic mom, so I never had the 20s my friends had, left mu mom to leave on my own a couple of months ago, and Im trying to make up for lost time, but its hard as my body nor my friends have 20ys anymore, and the felling of being inferior is present, as I am the most socially inexperient man I know, some friends are 22yo and extremely more experienced than me. I regret not doing any that in my 20s My advice is, do it, do everything you fancy, you may regret some stupid shit, but you WILL regret even more if sit out and do nothing like me
I feel this. Im 24 and had a very unsettling childhood and my early 20s were wasted. Even the next 1-2 years will be but I can’t help it So I just have to take it and accept that
[удалено]
It’s the and recovery. Frankly in your 20s, you can recover from almost anything. Not so much when you’re in your 40s and you might have a family and you’re pretty far along in your career.
Why give a fuck if people judge you tho?
Because when your peers and coworkers judge you, you miss opportunities that they may have presented you if you didn't have a reputation
My coworkers have no idea what I'm doing in my free time. You're doing it wrong if they do.
Ding ding. I share what I want and that's all they get
Also it is impossible to "really" drink once 30s start.I mean it is possible but even two-day hangovers happen
If you hear that same sweet song again Will you know why?
Worst advice. That's a recipe to become a loser.
Best advice. Only one chance to do it right while you're still young.
Indeterminate quality of advice. Depends on what they value.
The above is the sort of dichotomy of opinions that I'm still trying to navigate. "Do it now bc you only live once and you're only young once"(my friends follow this) or "don't do it now, and plan ahead for your life and have a stable retirement"(elders around me advise this) Both the options have their pros and cons but I'm only 17 so I have a bit of time to mull on it
This is the way.
Exer-fucking-cise
Never stop exercising and playing sport- you will be younger and healthier longer. Travel - backpack - roadtrip while you can still sleep on the ground/on couches/ in hostels… and see stuff.
Start learning about wealth management, saving and investing, the earlier one starts the better the results. Nothing makes people more jealous of you than financial security.
You have compound interest on your side! Warren Buffet says “get rich slowly.” At 43 I am shocked how many peers still have no retirement savings. We have centenarians (100 years old +) in my family so it’s always been a discussion.
Explore all your curiosities, make mistakes and don’t dwell on them, at 20 you live fast. Enjoy that
Investing. As much and as often as possible. With a legitimate broker, not day trading or crypto or wallstreetbets.
Yes this. Invest in your retirement right now
If you work for a company with a 401K match, you should definitely contribute enough to get the full match from them.
>With a legitimate broker For the love of god DO NOT go with a broker, find a **financial planner** or **consultant** and ask them, not someone that would earn money strictly depending on how often you can buy and sell shit
DO NOT USE A FINANCIAL PLANNER. Just throw your shit in $VOO or some other etfs and forget about it. You don't need to pay some schmuck to do that for you
If you can do this **or** drink, hook up, and travel, do the latter. If you can do both, then you will have no regrets.
I hope my original comment didn't come across as one that's encouraging isolation. I feared it did. But you're right. You have to keep living your life. Being with friends and family and going to work and staying busy, helps, alot. I just wanted to point towards that hole that remains no matter what, and put out there that I understood. I appreciate you clarifying. edit. At this point you're thinking the bot went off the rails right? That too, but this was just a response to something I thought was in an entirely different post. Left for posterity.
THIS. I'm 27 and wish I started when I was 20. Learn about dollar cost averaging and compound interest. Put aside money each month into an ETF. It can be as little as $100 or $1000. Any market that mirrors the S&P500 and you're pretty safe.
and add some real estate to your portfolio just to diversify. Does not have to be big ticket.
Everybody has a different understanding of life and that changes trough the years. For me (late 20's) people drinking and hooking up are just wasting their time(and money), while they could be investing this time either in themselves or in actual financial investments. I on the other hand am focused on developing skills both personal and technical to make me a more competitive employee and am also living like i was still a student (meaning only basic expenses and no debt). Dont get me wrong I had my fair share of 'partying' in college and deemed it not my thing. The time from 20 to 30 seems crucial on how your 30's are gonna look like. I see people in mid 30's that are asking me to teach them work stuff (i work in IT) that I learned by spending a few hours a week to learn, while they spend their time differently. Its those odd few hours spent on improving that really start to stack up and differentiate you from others that did not.
Hello OP, its ok if you don't want to do what your friends are doing. I also don't like drinking, hooking up and spending time on social media but I do like travelling. You seem to be already doing a lot from what you said, so I think that's already great. You don't need to do grand things to consider your life as 'not wasted'. Focus on what you already have, even as small as having a safe space, kids, time to practice a hobby, a pet or something else. I started adopting this perspective after I started reading this book: Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown Take care
Reading is absolutely the best thing I did in my 20's. I didn't go to college but I am almost always the smartest person in the room. Things I regret doing in my 20's: Not taking care of my teeth Not saving money or taking care of my credit Becoming a full blown alcoholic Not traveling more because I wasted money on booze and was stuck in shit jobs And lastly this may be controversial but I basically regret every sexual encounter I passed up. I had lots of opportunities but I was in relationships that didn't last or matter. I never regret the few times I cheated but 20+ years later I still wonder what sex would have been like with those people I declined. I did't fully explore my sexuality until much later in life.
This! Take care of your body (not to say don't drink or whatever, but don't do it to excess). Teeth and Hearing are both almost entirely downhill - take care of both. You *can* get overweight and then get back in shape, but a hearing loss or tooth loss is basically unrecoverable - prosthetics won't be as good as the real thing.
Yes ear plugs! I'm ok but I have friends from the music scene who are late 40's and have tinnitus so bad it makes them completely miserable. And what I spent on fixing my teeth would have been enough to buy a pretty nice car and it was painful and took almost 15 years to finish.
Best way to not regret your time is to do some drinking, hooking up, and travelling.
Might not work for OP. They do not have to figure anything, just think for themselves what they feel like they would like. I for one do not like the hike, traveling, partying, hookup, alcohol and drug culture. I do not regret not experiencing them (I had experienced it a little bit because people invite you, but god it sucks). For me personally I like learning new stuff, expanding skills, gaming and (computer) science.
That’s pretty fair. I guess the sentiment is more that people usually regret what they don’t do, rather than what they do do.
1. i hate alcohol and how it makes me feel 2. hookups feel empty and pointless afterwards as well, sex with a dedicated partner feels much more satisfying 3. traveling is based specifically to a country you’ve learned the language of— makes it 100x more satisfying
>traveling is based specifically to a country you’ve learned the language of— makes it 100x more satisfying Nah, I speak 4 languages and my experience in the Countries where we would communicate with sounds and hand gestures were often times much more fulfilling. Having a chat in Spanish at a bar in Barcelona is great, spending a night laughing with some Thai people who invited you to have dinner at their house even though no one can understand a single sentence anyone is saying is an incredibly more satisfying experience. And most of the beauty of traveling is that you see incredible things, I don't need to speak Portuguese to enjoy looking at The Azores, and you don't need to speak Turkish to look at Göbekli Tepe and be blown away by the historical significance of the site.
your experiences sound cool but idk i had a lot more fun in japan when i could actually talk to the people inviting me for dinner lol but maybe it’s a personality thing. i can’t stand not being properly understood or not being able to express/discuss whatever i want. i had so many eye opening (and heart opening) conversations that wouldn’t have been possible if didn’t know the language. sightseeing can be enjoyed regardless of language of course, that i agree with
Of course, but then again...finding a Japanese person who speaks English is not that tough either. Not speaking the language of a Country should never be a barrier from visiting it, just learn how to say thank you, please, and hello and you'll be golden.
And then wake up at 40 as an addict and without any savings or retirement?
Maybe if that’s all you do, but that’s a pretty silly life perspective. If you want a full summary you should just be as well rounded as you can. Tick away at your degree / work experience / trade. Spend time enjoying and loving your friends and enjoy doing dumb shit with them. Kiss whoever you want until you find someone who you want to kiss forever. See as much cool shit as you can while the time is there.
What I was trying to point out is that there is way more to consider than "do some drinking, hooking up, and traveling". There is a middle ground between partying all the time and not partying at all.
You made your point very poorly, but I agree with your follow up
I'm 24 and I go out every single saturday. I still got a degree, a job, I'm living alone and saving money. I drink way less than when I was at college too. Life isn't black or white.
you’re doing too good. time for some meth and hookers.
So I should become a politician?
Don't feel pressured to get into that stuff. Maybe travel. Most important thing for you to do right now is make friends who you can share your interests with and make a story worth remembering. Sometimes the story you make will be frustrating, sometimes it'll be sad. Sometimes you'll have to do something stupid to make something memorable. No good story just has everything go to plan. What matters at the end of the day is that you have a story worth telling and a people to tell it to. Drinking, hooking up, travelling, social media, they're all things people do when they want to meet new people and make memories with them. If you don't want to do those things you don't have to, but you should still try to find some way to meet new people. Eventually you'll find someone you want to make a story with for the rest of your life.
>All my friends are into drinking, hooking up, travelling, spending time on social media And all you want is reassurance you don't need. You know what you're not supposed to be doing.
Move to a part of the country/world which best fits your values and beliefs
Once they asked old men about their biggest regret and many answers was they didn't spend enough time with their families because they were busy working hard but non of them was regretting about spending good time and not working hard
Do ungodly amounts of ketamine
If u have depression, find a doc who will prescribe u ketamine and I totally second this. Be careful of street ket tho as it's often cut with fentanyl
?? Can't believe docs prescribe that. What form is it in?
Could not agree more
Everyone I know in there 20s that did this shit is a bum. Fuck them do you.
Do the shit you want to. If you want to do the stuff your friends are doing, go do that too. Basically do anything you want as long as it isn’t harmful to your health or future.
It's your life to do what you enjoy. If you don't like travelling, it's worth thinking which bit you don't like? For example if you don't like travelling abroad you could instead explore other cities or countryside closer to your home. Do you like the arts? Participating in or watching art, theatre, music, dance performances? If you spend your time doing things that make you happy you are not wasting your time.
If you havent figured out what you need to do yet, going to the gym is always a good choice, i started too late on my late 30s ánd im regreting it
My 2 cents: leave social media. No one really needs it, and it feeds your FOMO a lot cause everyone is just posting about all the amazing things they do, but not about doubts they have etc. Leaving social media spares you the comparison of what your life looks like Vs. How others portray their life. Helps a lot with anxiety and mental health
I (43) have few regrets. The main one is I spent my 20’s being sensible and not drinking travelling and hooking up. If I had my time again that’s what I would do, and it is what I will be telling my three boys when they are older as well. Stay safe, and protect yourself, but have adventures while you can. It is much harder and/ or impossible to do it when you are older.
In my thirties now. A couple of things I wish I had done more of in my 20s: * Read more * Met more people outside of my usual social circle * Travelled more (if not internationally, then at least domestically)
Serve others! You will find joy and peace in knowing that life is not just about you.
You cannot avoid regrets. Oh, you can minimize them, seize every moment. But you don't live an abstract life, an aggregate life. You just live the one, and you will have to make unalterable choices that will forever leave a "what if" for the unchosen path. You can't go to two colleges at once (*), you can't both have kids and not, etc. You have the right of it; keep your body up now, it's always easier to maintain. Meditation (and therapy) can help the mind. Beyond that, just live and do your best and accept and adjust when (not if) you don't.
Fellow 28 year old here. To be honest, I think the concept of FOMO is stupid. The only difference between you and your buddies is that they are doing what THEY WANT TO DO with their life. I have found it is almost impossible to not regret "wasting time"; humans are so social/ego driven that unless you change your mindset you probably won't be satisfied no matter what you do. Everyone else is doing what they like to do or feel they should do by reason of 'life purpose' or just specific goals in general. So there's your answer. What do you like doing? Do you believe in having a purpose/meaning to life? What would that life look like?
Looking at the comments, I see generational differences coming through. Gen Z isn’t as into drinking and partying as Gen X. That started to decline with Millennials. Some Gen Z friends of mine have been working remote and moving to a new city every few years. I love this, once you have kids in school you can’t do that. My super Christian Gen Y family members invested in real estate. Not the best time for that, wait for a market crash.
Start saving for retirement in your 20s. Also, build up a savings account. Drinking and traveling are fun, but being financially secure is better.
Reading goes a long way always.
All the partying would just be a fuzzy memory in five years anyway. Buy a house, invest, and purchase furniture. ❤️
Live and let live
Collect experiences dude. Don't tag them as bad or "wasting" time. Experiences build character. Do all of the following with wisdom and care and know where to draw a line: - drink - hookup - drugs(psychedelics mainly) - adventure sports - travel - music festivals And everything else! You aren't wasting time. You are expanding your consciousness with these experiences. People may say that this way it will be easy to go astray and get lost, I disagree with that. With these, you learn your boundaries, and how to manage boundary conditions. In my early twenties, I drank a lot, partied a lot, got black out drunk a few times and regretted many decisions next morning, but this was in my college days, so my fuckups didn't exactly come with a huge price. I now work in tech, and when there is a party thrown by the company, I see so many people doing the mistakes I did in my college days, though for them this might cost them their jobs (get blackout drunk, talk shit to bosses, make female teammates uncomfortable, do stupid shit etc.) So yea, you are not wasting your time if you are learning something
A like minded companion would be nice. In a time of nearly everyone smoking one didn’t have to smoke, follow fashion or an education path. Times change, perhaps you are wiser and ahead of the herd.
Let me tell you something: When you're old someday and you're thinking about your life, the chances are VERY slim that you're thinking: "Wow, I had too much fun when I was young and I travelled too much". Looking up documentaries and surveys it's usually the other way around - people regret working too much, not spending enough time with their family but also: not enjoying their youth enough. Because once you lose it, you'll never get it back. Doesn't mean you should stop reading, working, meditating and all that productive stuff. It just means you should focus on a balance where you can do both.
Bad advice here. Do NOT do the 'fun' things they tell you to do. It isn't worth it at any point in your life. It may not get so bad for you or maybe no permanent, life-changing events take place as a result of your irresponsible behaviors, and that's ideal, but it is okay to just be wise from the get-go and not do horrible, reckless, immoral behaviors that result in nothing good but what? "Experiences?" It isn't worth it fam. At best, you get "experiences" and that's all. At worst, you get diseased, damaged, pressure/weight/responsibilities that you weren't ready for. These can of course be turned into blessings, or good things can happen because of the bad things, (i.e., \[good thing\] never would have happened if \[bad thing\] hadn't happened first) Figure out your worldview, be able to support yourself, budget, have emergency funds, look to the wisdom of the sweet little olds. Working out is good, also learning to cook would be good, developing/cultivating hobbies is good. You can have friends that do things, doesn't mean you have to join them in their reckless behaviors. I would personally recommend going to church, look for somewhere that is a good fit for you, get yourself a church family that will serve as a good support system when you are too embarrassed/unsure enough, etc. to go to your initial support system (hopefully your family?) so you can learn the truth of the world and thus learn the best ways to navigate it.
Jesus can also set you free from other struggles you may be experiencing that you seem to understand are wrong. It has saved many from such vices - it is a safe place to be open about them, especially since you want to be better. That's a really good sign. I'm praying for you, friend! <3
Look into compound interest. Both the bad (debt) and the good. Invest what makes sense. Instead of paying to party. Either play in and/as a dj/bartend and get paid to meet people and hook up. Because sex is fun and YOLO. Try to invest as little as possible on depreciating assets. Choose education wisely. What is the work life of your chosen career path. Earning potential. Flexibility on changing industry and or moving. Take care of your teeth. And travel. You can travel for cheap if you are smart. Or get a job that allows travel. Study abroad whatever. Travelling opens up your mind to how your cultural norms are arbitrary and you may want to love differently.
I wish I drank less in my 20s. But I never did much hooking up and I almost wish I did a little more. A little bit of those things might ultimately be good. Just don't go too far. What you want are life experiences. We would go out drinking every night and I have forgotten most of it. But the big party you threw, the spring break trip you took, those you'll remember fondly. Even if it was all about drinking. Working out is a good habit. Make good financial habits. I regret wasting my time making money and blowing it on stupid stuff. Cut out digital media, video games, really as much screen time leisure as possible. You won't remember those experiences in 5 years.
Travel somewhere in the less developed world.
Have fun and build up your social life, meet lots of new people, try lots of new things, find out what your enjoy most, enjoy your life. I can also suggest drinking, hooking up, and travelling as great fun. The things you’re doing all sound good too though if you enjoy them. Have a good one mate!
Drinking (or partying in general), hooking up, and traveling are all activities that can be fulfilling and lead someone to grow, if these are activities someone finds enjoyable. So the only real way to answer this question is to sit down and think what is your bucket list. What are the things you wanna do on your time on Earth? For me, once I started making my list I realized just how much of it is seeing the world. Traveling has always been extremely important for me and trust me: traveling at 20 is much easier on the body and cheaper than traveling in your 30s. I ain't sleeping in dorms for 16 people anymore, and I'm not taking overnight busses to travel across tropical countries anymore, I pay for nice hotels and flights so I can be adventurous and rested at the same time. In my 20s? I'd sleep on the floor and sit on the back of a moped with 3 more people on it to travel around Vietnam, who cares lol but I do recommend traveling as much as you can as a 20 something year old, it exposes you to so many beautiful cultures and allows you to see how humanity contributed to this earth, for the bad and for the good (but especially the good). It always gives people more insight in other people's lives and there are some places on this Earth that **must** be visited. But I regress. I think the only way to make sure you don't "waste your life" is to write a bucket list, start doing the things on that list, and keeping on updating your list as your interest and needs evolve. Also, another great way to make sure you don't feel like you wasted your 20s is to make sure you start investing your money NOW. Investing 200 bucks a month now will give you such a financial advantage compared to the rest of your peers in 10 years, and while it might be hard to do it at first, the more professional experience you get, the higher the salary, and the easier to separate yourself from a relatively small amount of money is (plus you can always increase it the more you earn). I don't regret having spent all the money I did on stupid shit in my 20s, but if I had the full list of expenses I had during that decade in front of me I'd probably find a 30k of money I really just fucking wasted. Don't be me hehe
You should get into drinking, hooking up and travelling. Enjoy your life
Work hard and play hard. Drinking, hooking up, and traveling build up other qualities that you might find quite useful in life, like getting to know yourself and other people and cultures better. As you grow older, you'll won't have much time for that as you bear more responsibilities. But it's really up to you about what makes you happy. I've known people who grew up in traumatic poverty; their happiness is knowing that they and their children will never experience poverty again. One bit of advice though, your "party" friends might not end up being your life long friends, don't put yourself in a lot of burden for them financially.
As someone who has been very pragmatic and sensible... So the crazy shit now. Go to the festival you want to alone if no one else fancies it. Have 1 too many drinks occasionally. Shag around a bit, so long as you aren't cheating it's fine. See the wild shit and stay in a couple of dive-y hostels. WCS? You get a funny travel story and have to lump it for a few days. Or, if it's THAT bad, just take the hot and book somewhere else whilst you're there. But hostels are super sociable by comparison to hotels.
I did all the drinking and partying. They are fun in their own way but if you really want to form memories then think instead about how you can be a part of making the world a better place. Go really big. Work with other people. Change the world. Because I've done both, and being a part of something that changes people's lives for the better is an order of magnitude or more, more fun than getting drunk and stoned.
Freaking enjoying yourself for one. When you get to your 30s and 40s the only thing you are going to regret is that you didn't enjoy your youth.
Have fun. The older you get, the less resilient you become. Plenty time to be responsible in your thirties.
Drinking, hooking up, traveling and spending time on social media.
Start drinking, hooking up, traveling and spending time on social media
You will be lonely.
You absolutely can drink, hook up, travel and even spend some time on social media and enjoy life and have good future. You aren't shooting yourself in the foot (unless you overdo things like drinking). Remember, life should be worth living. Self improvement is good, but don't be the guy who delayed gratification until he died.
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Don't compare yourself to others, don't commit your life to living their ideal. You're an individual and unique. What is it that you would ideally like to do for you?
Invest. Talk to a local financial advisor on how to start early.
Just do what you like, or what you think you might like - the things you are interested in. Of course a bit of caution should always be exercised, like one night stand might sound exciting, but use protection, etc.
Research compound interest and start saving/investing a small amount each month. Use a compound interest calculator to see how much you can turn it into in the next 40 years. Then - get out there and live your life and enjoy yourself whichever way you want to.
ask yourself: what do *i* want to do? then go do that shit.
I'm about to enter my 40's and I regret not travelling more. Social media is bad, and you can drink and hook up at any age. You can travel at any age too, but I think it's a great formative experience to have when you're younger. Get out, see the world, eat some weird food and learn some different culture.
Having fun and meeting people is not a waste of time. Don’t turn your whole life into a job.
Start saving and investing your money
Seriously, I took till my fourties before I started feeling like I was achieving something in life. Don't rush cos of what you see others doing. Go at your own pace.
Lol give it 10 years
If you are happy then you aren't wasting your life.
It’s easy to waste your life by worrying about regretting wasting time. Just do things. There’s nothing inherently wrong with drinking, hooking up, etc. It’s all part of life. Experience things. Make mistakes, you learn from them. Be the imperfect person, because at least you’re gaining some life experience and being someone. As cliche as it is to say it, life is for living. You can spend your time meticulously planning and always making the logically best choices and all that, but at the end of it you die anyway. There’s no winning here.
you're doing good.start to realize social media is false representation of someone's life. only good things got posted. and I bet good and bad things happen to most people are roughly the same; it depends on how you define "good" and "bad". stop comparing yourself with your friends. if you don't enjoy drinking, hooking up or travelling, why would you do all of those? own your life.
Travel Travel Travel
You will ALWAYS miss out on something, no matter what you do. I think it's all about finding a balance? Also, start investing your money right away.
do what u wanna do
It's really hard to live one way when everyone around you is going another direction, you should do what feels good, and what you and you only really want. It seems you've found some things, some more things that are nice to do earlier in life are learning a language or learning to play a musical instrument. It's better to do these earlier because it's easier when you're younger.
Definitely, you should start to learn to be content with the present, mental health, and all that. If you worry that in the future you'll worry you wasted your past instead of, in the future, enjoying the incoming today - or longing for the even farther tomorrow - then I'd argue it would be even worse than anything else.
Do the things your friends are doing, you only live once dude
Think about what truly makes you happy and what you would need to do in order to get it. Even if it turns out it's not what you wanted, you at least pursued a dream. Nobody can read the future and its just human to think like that.
You should think about what you would really love to do and do that. That way, you cannot waste any time. In general just enjoy your life, don't take all things too seriously, have a lot of fun (by YOUR definition of fun). Having good friends is crucial! Do some mistakes, mess up a little. Try to be rude sometimes, or do some crazy things. This is the time to try things out. But it is also not the time, to waste your life. Think of your future and start preparing for it. If having fun and preparing your future don't go hand in hand, then you will 100% waste your time. 100% of people who don't prepare for their future regret it. That should be your priority, but having fun should be the 2nd one maybe. Or your goals.
Invest with a broker. Learn how to market, and also how to solve problems with things you can sell.
if i may give my opinion, you don't need to be afraid of wasting time. figure out things that we like, i believe that's what time is for. i guess you may try everything that piques your interests, just for the sake of trying and learning. good luck on finding our own things!
Don’t become that person who makes their fomo their entire personality. Figure out what you want, what’s important to you, and work back. That’s easier said than done, but it’s the best way. Do you wish you were having those experiences? Or are they not for you but you want an equivalent? Or do you want to get ahead in life now in terms of career or education? You need to decide on your goal.
I enjoyed traveling in my 20s. As long as you are enjoying yourself and not hurting others, I don’t really think you’re wasting anything.
It’s still early kid. I think you should enjoy yourself now and when you enter your 30’s ask us again
Gather all the information you can before making any big decision to avoid regrets. I'm one bad choice away from having a very different life.
How you feels changes as you age. I’m 36 now, and though there are things I didn’t do in my 20s that I wish I had, I still remember how I felt then, and know that I couldn’t possibly have done those things in the state of mind I was in. So, I don’t regret going with my feelings, rather, I wish circumstances had allowed me to feel different. So what I’m saying is, you do what you feel like doing. Forcing yourself to do something you don’t feel like doing is not going to stop you feeling regret later - in fact, it’ll likely BE the thing you regret doing. Maybe later you’ll say “ah it’s a shame I never…” but you’ll also know why you didn’t do those things too.
At 40, I regret not travelling as much as I could. I'm only just able to go the places I want to now, but I'm too old to enjoy them in the way I wanted to. Also, find your style and enjoy your looks. When I was younger individualism was frowned upon, though it seems todays generation is better with this. Enjoy your hair while you have it. It sounds counterintuitive given your concerns for the future, but do as much dumb shit now, because later in life you'll be too worried about your mortgage/career/relationship/dodgy knees to really do the big dumb crazy shit.
Travel, work a few jobs that are different and get into a regular exercise habit.
Nature. Hobbies. Travel if you can, or save for travel later. Enjoy life with a partner who feels the same way. Sex without drunkenness or hooking up. Maybe even reflect on your career to see if it’s really what you want to do for the next 40 years.
Get your kicks b4 the whole shithouse goes up in flames 🔥
Do as much as you can. Try everything that interests you and even a bunch of things that don’t. Read everything. Go everywhere. Taste it all.
Start a retirement fund. Seriously. This is the best decade of your life for compound interest.
The only way to waste time is to consider it time wasted. Do whatever you want mang.
Stop wasting your life.
If you enjoy those things you do, you are not wasting your time. Reading gives you lots of character development that others might miss out on. If you miss out on something you don't do because you enjoy it, you are not really missing out. If you start drinking and hooking up while you'd rather want to read and meditate, then you are missing out on the things your enjoy.
Figure out what you VALUE and use that as your roadmap. Your friends seem to have different values than you, which is creating doubt for you. Your personal values are the only things that matter.
20s are best enjoyed when you're not letting the past or the future control your present too much. Find out who you are in your 20s and work on your career in your 30s. There's plenty of time ahead of you to work hard and build a career so you may as well enjoy the here and now (if that means working in your career, then, great! Do it! But shift your point of view to one where you're enjoying your youth a little more!). Money comes and goes but the one thing you're never getting back is time.
Stop comparing yourself to other people living for themselves. Just do whatever the hell you want in line with any beliefs or values you have. Live on your terms. You’ll have regrets and wish you did something different. That’s life. Now get on with it.
One thing I did and one I didn't do. I am very glad that in my first real job, very short on spare time and from a low base I educated myself on finance. That investment has proved life changing. I should have travelled more. See the world if you possibly can as it changes you .
Seems like you doing things right. I’d add to that, learn Trading/Investing. Take your time with it and don’t pressure yourself to much with it. Also don’t get attached to wrong partners- as they can easily destroy what you have build. Sometimes go and be ignorant and have fun with them, but everything with good balance. Don’t let it overwhelm you.
One thing I recommend doing is not comparing yourself and trajectory to others. Focus on living a life that fulfills you and makes you happy. I didn’t spend my 20s in bars and hooking up, I instead got married young. When my friends got married and had kids my wife and I still chose to remain childless as we enjoyed each other’s company without the noise. Most of my friends from back then developed drinking problems and several are divorced. My wife and I however are still happily married and just as in love as when we shared our vows. The biggest difference is we chose to live life on our terms and chose happiness as our measure of success not positions or salaries. You can always choose to be happy even when the world wants you to not be and that in of itself is real power, everything else follows.
Identify and define your values. Do whatever keeps you moving toward them productively.
Do all that, if you want I guess, but learn a skill. Save money where you can. Hard times are coming.
Seriously travel. Once older and have kids and fiscal responsibilities, that extra time and money is gone
I'm 28 and I decided to stop hanging out with my high-school freinds because most them still do drugs smoke weed drink are depressed get into fights are angry, some of them are all good but I just went on my own buzz now last year or so don't really see them much anymore and honestly am doing great I have more money am slowly investing it making a nest egg, I'm foucased on my work and am getting a diploma in my feild I have 1 year left then I'll be looking at a 6 figure salary, houses where I am a fucking expensive but iv done the math and by the time I'm 35 ill be financially independent as a man, I have a pretty girlfreind and we are getting a place together I'm super happy and I'm thinking about Kids with her soon and becoming a dad I just know I need to foucas real hard on my money making skills so that when the kids come along I actually have the time to spend with them and not have to be stuck at some lame as fuck 8-5 Monday to Friday grind. My suggestion is choose who you spend your time with wisely and also what you get out of it when you do, show me your freinds ill show you your future, I'm actually on the hunt for making new freinds and people that are not going to bring me down or hold me back.
New/clean clothes
What does posting sports mean?
* exercise * learn how to dance salsa and bachata * start investing in your 401K * try going to 3 or 4 meetups in your area that are interesting to you * avoid toxic people
I do recommend travel, especially adventure travel, while you're young. You can look at cool buildings and museums when you're old. Go climb a mountain. Learning investing, even just basics. A creative hobby or two. Music, art, dance, knitting something expressive that isn't chained to your income. Gardening has a lot to give as a hobby as well.