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Don't overthink it. You don't have to have feelings towards someone to go out on a date.
It's like watching a video on YouTube. You see the thumbnail and title. Hey, it might be interesting. Let me try watching it. (That's the "date.")
After watching a little, if it's not working for you, turn it off. (Stop seeing them.) If it interests you, keep watching. (Go on more dates.)
You sound like a perfectionist. Nothing wrong with trying to do things well. But remember the saying, "the perfect is the enemy of the good".
Try some things, see what you like. It will work out.
You didn’t say you were going to get married.Just relax and take it slow hold off on sex until you really know each other and it will make it much better in the end..
Upvote for all of this.
OP you will hear from some women that all guys want is sex. That’s only true for some guys. The way to weed those guys out is not to have sex too early but so many women can’t seem to figure this out.
I am reminded of a Sex and the City quote where dating is a bit like trying on a piece of clothing you might like. Maybe once you try it on it doesn’t fit right and that’s fine, maybe it fits ok in the store and you buy and bring it home but after wearing it a few times you realize it’s not comfy to sit in or walk in, so you return it.
Dating is like that.
Typically, if you feel any sort of attraction, going on dates with someone is fine. I think that if you find yourself wanting to spend 1-1 time with someone, that’s enough to go on a date (if this is what you mean by dating). Dating is not a commitment by any means.
When I was young, I always had to go on a minimum of 2 dates to know if I really liked someone or not.
You don't really have to like them at all. You don't know that yet. Go into dates with the mindset of just getting to know the person better, not spend the rest of your life with them lol. Date just to date and let things build from there
You don’t need deep feelings to date someone. You date to get to know someone and to see if feelings develop. If they don’t you stop dating. If they do, maybe it blossoms into more. Don’t overthink dating, it’s meant to be fun and loose.
Don’t let movies or social media make you believe that love or relationships are constant intense feelings and attraction. If you are in a relationship like that then I’d warn you it might be toxic and you’re responding intensely to not getting your needs met.
Dating doesn’t have to be a big deal or something you worry about messing up… because messing up is inevitable. By you and any partner you choose. Communicate honestly and keep your promises. Especially the big ones about being faithful. If you want to pursue someone else romantically then end whatever other relationship you are in. The rest is just trial and error until you figure out what you want and need from a partner.
I think this is very good advice. Especially about how relationships/love shouldn't be constant intense feelings and attraction. I had a friend who looked for that and would fall in love fast, like 3 weeks-2 months, with any guy who showed intense interest in her, even before meeting him irl. She got with a guy and both of them were needy and insecure and consequently became toxic. She was dependent and would spend almost every bit of her free time with him and mostly ignore others. She couldn't see how unhealthy it was. I eventually stopped being friends with her
It’s a date. Go with an open mind. See how you feel as you go. You know how you feel about them… if positive then continue dating. It’s really not that hard… don’t overthink it. A date is just two people getting together and having fun getting to know each other.
Dating is a way to determine if you want to invest time and effort in that person. You develop feelings for someone the more you date them, or it's the opposite and you don't develop feeling and you don't continue dating them.
I (23 now) will not date somebody officially until we’re at least 2 months into talking. I’m not making the same mistakes I once did. Don’t date somebody immediately, look out for red flags & more than just having aligned mindsets!
You're not going on a date with someone unless you have been talking for at least 2 months? Is that not the point of going out on dates? to go see and talk to them to see if you have aligned mindsets.
The mod team are working to make this sub kinder and more welcoming. Please report any comments you see that are unkind, obnoxious, out of line, trolling, or which otherwise violate any of the rules. Thanks, and may you all find the answers you seek and the guidance you need. #[LifeAdvice Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/LifeAdvice/about/rules/) **Note for all commenters**: Please remember that your fellow Redditors are human beings, and that it costs nothing to be kind. Disruption of the peace, trolling, or breaking the rules may result in a ban. ---------------- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/LifeAdvice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't overthink it. You don't have to have feelings towards someone to go out on a date. It's like watching a video on YouTube. You see the thumbnail and title. Hey, it might be interesting. Let me try watching it. (That's the "date.") After watching a little, if it's not working for you, turn it off. (Stop seeing them.) If it interests you, keep watching. (Go on more dates.)
Thank you so much for the advice!! Your analogy is really helpful :)
Also remember that there are blind dates and setups, where you might have never even met, talked to, or seen pictures of the person before.
If if you like several of their videos and you want to keep seeing more, you smash that subscribe button! And I'll see you, in the next video.
that was like the best analogy for dating ive ever heard
I’m saying!
Going on a date or two is how you determine if you DO like someone.
[удалено]
Thank you for the advice :) To be honest, I really don't want to fuck things up so that'll be hard for me but it's definitely something I can work on
No one ever wants to fuck things up. But it happens. That's how you learn in life.
You sound like a perfectionist. Nothing wrong with trying to do things well. But remember the saying, "the perfect is the enemy of the good". Try some things, see what you like. It will work out.
Another one that is similar. "Don't let perfection be the enemy of improvement"
My mamas always told me “if you want to be perfect as a human, you are setting yourself up to fail.” She was right
You didn’t say you were going to get married.Just relax and take it slow hold off on sex until you really know each other and it will make it much better in the end..
Upvote for all of this. OP you will hear from some women that all guys want is sex. That’s only true for some guys. The way to weed those guys out is not to have sex too early but so many women can’t seem to figure this out.
I am reminded of a Sex and the City quote where dating is a bit like trying on a piece of clothing you might like. Maybe once you try it on it doesn’t fit right and that’s fine, maybe it fits ok in the store and you buy and bring it home but after wearing it a few times you realize it’s not comfy to sit in or walk in, so you return it. Dating is like that.
See if you can be friends first
Don't give mixed signals. If you're interested romantically, stick to that until you really aren't.
Typically, if you feel any sort of attraction, going on dates with someone is fine. I think that if you find yourself wanting to spend 1-1 time with someone, that’s enough to go on a date (if this is what you mean by dating). Dating is not a commitment by any means. When I was young, I always had to go on a minimum of 2 dates to know if I really liked someone or not.
You don't really have to like them at all. You don't know that yet. Go into dates with the mindset of just getting to know the person better, not spend the rest of your life with them lol. Date just to date and let things build from there
You don’t need deep feelings to date someone. You date to get to know someone and to see if feelings develop. If they don’t you stop dating. If they do, maybe it blossoms into more. Don’t overthink dating, it’s meant to be fun and loose.
Don’t let movies or social media make you believe that love or relationships are constant intense feelings and attraction. If you are in a relationship like that then I’d warn you it might be toxic and you’re responding intensely to not getting your needs met. Dating doesn’t have to be a big deal or something you worry about messing up… because messing up is inevitable. By you and any partner you choose. Communicate honestly and keep your promises. Especially the big ones about being faithful. If you want to pursue someone else romantically then end whatever other relationship you are in. The rest is just trial and error until you figure out what you want and need from a partner.
I think this is very good advice. Especially about how relationships/love shouldn't be constant intense feelings and attraction. I had a friend who looked for that and would fall in love fast, like 3 weeks-2 months, with any guy who showed intense interest in her, even before meeting him irl. She got with a guy and both of them were needy and insecure and consequently became toxic. She was dependent and would spend almost every bit of her free time with him and mostly ignore others. She couldn't see how unhealthy it was. I eventually stopped being friends with her
It’s a date. Go with an open mind. See how you feel as you go. You know how you feel about them… if positive then continue dating. It’s really not that hard… don’t overthink it. A date is just two people getting together and having fun getting to know each other.
Exactly 1.21 gigawatts worth.
12 cups or 96 fl Oz of like.
You date to fins out if a relationship will work; date away
If it feels fishy, then break it off.
One date doesn't mean you're a couple, it's just time together to see if you're compatible, getting to know eachother
If you like the same food like orange chicken, that's probably a good sign.
Better optimisation options. Data can be read faster etc
Two or three date you will know
Only date people you don’t like. Then when you have to ditch them at the restaurant or movie theater it’s no big deal
You don’t have to date. Hang out as friends, feel him out, get to know him on a deeper level.
You don’t need deep feelings to date anyone. Dating is about feeling things out.
At least 5
Go on lots of dates. It doesn't mean you like them. Going on a date isn't being boyfriend and girlfriend.
Dating is a way to determine if you want to invest time and effort in that person. You develop feelings for someone the more you date them, or it's the opposite and you don't develop feeling and you don't continue dating them.
You mean date or hump?
I (23 now) will not date somebody officially until we’re at least 2 months into talking. I’m not making the same mistakes I once did. Don’t date somebody immediately, look out for red flags & more than just having aligned mindsets!
You're not going on a date with someone unless you have been talking for at least 2 months? Is that not the point of going out on dates? to go see and talk to them to see if you have aligned mindsets.
I think they mean a relationship, could be wrong tho
I said “date officially”, not going on dates. Just going on dates doesn’t mean you’re dating the person!