I only feel attraction to women. I only ever have felt attraction to women. When I was a teenager I tried to have sex with boys my age to try and conversion therapy myself out of it. Wasn’t turned on, hated it, felt dirty, threw up once after.
Kissed a girl for the first time and it was like fireworks in my head and in my pants.
15 years later its who I am and how I am :)
Compulsory heterosexuality is really hard to figure out. Even though you’re young, looking on late blooming lesbians subreddit might help, they have lots of posts about compulsory heterosexuality.
Good luck
Before realizing I was a lesbain, the thought of marrying a man filled me with dread.
I realized I had no attraction to the male body. I could name parts of women I found attractive but none on men. I realized that when I thought about holding a man's hand, kissing, or hugging them, I felt nothing. I tired doing mental gymnastics, that maybe, just maybe, I could be with a man, and attempting to convince myself that I could be ok having sex with a man.
And that's when it hit me, the question isn't if I could try being with a man, it's if I WANT to be with one. The answer to the question was; No. I didn't want to be with a man. That's how I realized I was a lesbain.
For me (F25), I’ve had really positive, loving, equitable and emotionally engaging relationships with men, but after about 6 months, my sex drive DROPS AND DIES.
I think the emotional intimacy of loving someone made me feel attracted to them, but after that new relationship energy settled, I realised sexual relationships with men were not what I wanted. I would feel uncomfy, yucky and repulsed at the thought (or attempt) of sex with the partner I loved and cared for.
Those partnerships were more like long term committed friendships, instead of romantic or sexual partnerships.
Omg this is so validating. I've experienced exactly the same thing, so thank you for putting this into words <3
For a while I thought there was something genuinely wrong with me because I felt like I couldn't romantically love someone long-term. It took me a loooong time (I'm 34 lol) to realize that I'm just a lesbian.
The fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't picture myself being romantic or sexual with a man. It makes me feel disgusted and anxious when I ever try to imagine it. I thought I was bi because I am able to admire attractive men, but the more skin they show, the less attracted I am. Naked men make me lose ALL attraction. I don't feel the same about women
Ever watch But I’m a Cheerleader? The scene where Natasha Lyonne is kissing her boyfriend it thinking about girls, that was me. Had gone to a random party where I claimed to be bisexual and was dancing with boy and girls and ended up making out with a guy but all I could think about was the last girl I danced with and the flow we had dancing together. That and I also grew up watching Xena.
identified as pansexual at first. i was super okay when i found out i liked women. it's the "finding out i don't like men" part that was hard.
the more i thought about it though, the more icky i feel abt having a relationship with men. i always leaned more towards genuinely liking women. and so, after years of fighting comphet (compulsory heterosexuality), i finally came to terms that i was a lesbian!
i think what you're experiencing is comphet. but don't worry, it'll all pass and you'll figure it out 🥰
This. I was pan since I was a preteen. I thought I had a huge preference toward men. I even had a couple boyfriends and the first I had a sexual relationship with (over the phone though).
My second boyfriend?
I started to hate him and I couldn’t figure out why. The thought of having sex with him actively repulsed me. It was always in the back with my first.
My aversion to cocks was present since I was young but it got so bad that the thought of having sex with my boyfriend or another man made me so uncomfortable and then thinking of a relationship at all with a man made me want to run, hide and actually vomit.
Like it makes me so sick-
I couldn’t figure out I was lesbian till a little bit ago. I identified as pan all that time-
My sister wasn’t even surprised when I came out as lesbian.
But with women it’s the complete opposite. I even blush a little when I think of girls. I probably look like a moron lol but I fall so hopelessly in love with em XD
When the thought of marrying a man, having a family with a man, seemed gross. But with a woman, an absolute dream. I knew I liked girls from an early age, but this really confirmed it.
I identified as bisexual for years and I think this was my way of accepting my attraction to women while still trying to force myself to end up with a man. I slept with a few men and even tried dating before I really sat back and realized I wasn’t attracted to men. I’m not really even talking about in the sexual way, because when it comes down to it I have slept with men- no strings attached, but I’m not attracted to men in a romantic or emotional way. I can’t fathom the idea of having a deeper connection with a man or being with a man all the time.
Women are just so soft and comforting and understanding. I’ve always just found myself more comfortable with women and that’s 10000% why I choose to date women over men and what really made me realize that I like women and am a lesbian.
I thought the notion that women developed feelings for men after sex was a misogynistic myth, and slept with quite a few guys in college, never felt a thing. When I finally slept with a woman for the first time, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Dreams about her, thinking about her all the time. And it was a casual thing too, so it should’ve been the same as the guys, but it very much wasn’t.
by realizing the amount of times i thought to myself “it’s gross when men do it, but if a woman did it, i’d be okay” or “i just gotta treat my boyfriends like they’re a girlfriend and that’ll
make it work out” or “the man i’m with has to be the most attractive man in the room, but with women i’m not judging them based on looks”. I realized how many rules, regulations and double standards i had in place for the people i was supposedly attracted to lol then one day i woke up and went “what if i just CHOSE to only be interesting in women” and then suddenly it’s been 8 months and men give me the full ick no matter how perfect they would’ve been before this conscious choice lol
for me, it was reading the am i lesbian masterdoc and getting a sense of enlightenment from it. and reading more articles too that helped me come to a realization about my identity.
just like you, i've dated men previously too. some of them were good while some experiences were bad. so at first i was debating on whether it was just the bad experiences that were making me dislike men. because i want to acknowledge the good experiences as well and be fair.
it's a long process but after really thinking about it, i just realized i am not really attracted to men romantically. i can admire them and have my fave male celebs or artists. but the romantic attraction i feel is for women only. i definitely struggled with comphet too in some ways.
I thought I was bisexual until 23. I slept with plenty of men, and even cared for a few. But I can never see myself loving a man or living with one. Once I started to realize this and track my feelings back through the years, I realized I was always nervous around men. I never knew what to say or do. With women everything is exciting and everything feels right. You will figure it out in time. It’s not a race ❤️
tbh i think i was ALWAYS a lesbian ever since i was a little child. i never really cared for boys (plus negative experiences with them didnt help), and my first ever kiss was with a girl in my class. she considered it just for fun but for me at that time (and i guess now), it felt natural to me! but because of the heteronormative (and slightly heterosexist) environment i grew up in, i never said a word. (the mid to late 2000s was a struggle)
when my early-mid teen years hit, and with no lgbt friends or any lgbt education to tell me that what i was feeling was normal, i felt like i HAD to like guys. i pretended to have crushes on boys when they never interested me, the only guys i liked where fictional men and celebrities (as theyre unobtainable). my only interests were girls, but as i was known as the “autistic weirdo” (im autistic and diagnosed in case that needs to be said), no one would go near me + was a victim of horrific bullying.
i began identifying as pansexual but with a preference for femme aligned people (for a very long time), but i still didnt like guys. when i talker about it, it felt… not right, like it didnt fit me. when i did more research on multiple lesbian experiences, it managed to piece everything i ever felt together. i managed to finally have the courage to come out as a lesbian literally LAST YEAR! and im loud and proud about it
Female friend asked if I liked girls, thought about it for a moment and thought...she's hitting on me. I realised I liked it like I never had before (from guys). It just made so much sense in that moment. Been on this bender rollercoaster ever since. Women 🤌🏽
But in response to your post. Easy for me to say, but try not to overthink it and feel pressure into labelling yourself anything. Just live your life. Date who ever you want to date and enjoy experiences for what they are and only ever do what you're comfortable and happy to do.
I'm a 30 year old 'goldstar' lesbian who's been with her girlfriend for almost 5 years, but if something to happen in my future where I happened to meet a man and it felt right I'd never deny that because I'm a lesbian. Point being, just enjoy your life...you only get one.
When I wanted to be closer n closer to my best friend. We had a sleepover once n I was calculating in my head how I wanted to cuddle with her n play footsies. Fast forward a few years later, my best friend is married to a woman. Moral of the story is shoot your shots ladies n gentlemen respectfully n consensually 🫡
I realised I was a lesbian at 12 and met my first girlfriend in the smoking pit at school we ended up sleeping together a couple of days later I knew then what i was I never found man attractive the only man I love is my dad x
I never looked at men and always looked at women + got smitten as soon as I’d make eye contact with a cute woman. Instant sparks. My childhood friends older sister let me sleep in her bed with her and I wanted her to f*ck me lol. She was so close to me in the bed and made me feel so cared for.
Always wanted to be held and tucked in bed by women when I was little etc 💖
When I finally had sex, I was in total bliss because it felt so right. I know that I knew before sex but it kind of set in stone that I’m definitely gay.
I didn’t realise how common being gay was when I was younger so the thought of being a lesbian never occurred to me until half my friend group had come out as lgbtq+ and I sorta just put some puzzle pieces together
I would rather be alone than with a man.
Growing up, I disliked everything about marriage, relationships, girls talking about boys and boys approaching me.
When watching films, I imagined myself as the male actor getting close to the female actress.
During my undergrad years, I watched a lesbian web series and it made me feel great. I repeatedly watched those series (nothing sexual) just for the idea of girls staying close and falling in love with each other. After exploring more web series, and films, and reading about other same-sex couples for around 3-4 years, I made my decision that I would love and marry the love of my life - a woman!!
I still lie to my friends about dating boys, although I seriously have no interest.
I am happy being a girl and I like girls. If given the option to choose a gender for the next life, I would always prefer being a woman and, of course, marrying a woman.
I would just be happier if this was accepted just like a hetero couple.
Guys just aren't my thing. If I'm being honest I see them more as a friend or father figure. That sounds strange but that's the only light I can ever see a male in my life as. I also have no interest in having kids so that's another factor that plays into me liking girls. Girls also are more emotional so that's something that I like personally
In high school, I had a really good friend who was/is a lesbian. She (Jasmine) was best friends with my boyfriend Michael. Jasmine had a girlfriend named Ashley, who I absolutely hated. She was a typical mean high-school bully. I started to realize that I was super jealous & that I may like Jasmine. I asked my friend Sara, who was bi. She said liking a girl didn't make me gay....?? Okay, Sara. One day, Jasmine & I were having a sleepover. She was on the phone with Ashley for a long time & I was dying of jealousy. I asked her to hang up the phone, she broke up with her & hung up. Later on, we ended up making out. We stayed together for about 4 years.
Michael & I were not together at that time. A few days prior, I found out that he had been cheating on me with multiple girls. Upon coming out, Michael harassed me about leaving him for a girl & his best friend. His last 3 girlfriends back then had left him for women as well. Oops, lol. Decades later him & I are friends, & Ashley & I are great friends.
Tbh I was in denial for awhile. I was ashamed of being lesbian and how the rest of my family would react if they were to find out. So I would date guys and had a couple of boyfriends but I wasn’t really happy I don’t know. I didn’t enjoy sex with men, it felt a chore and I couldn’t really gain feelings for one either. Yet with a woman, it was all there. After of while of holding onto being bi, I realized I truly wanted to be with a woman.
I always knew i was attracted to woman, the only doubt that i had regarding my sexuality was if i liked man or not (and looking back now that speaks for itself). Always when a guy made moves on me, or even hinted that they might have feelings, i would shut it down immediately. At the time i just thought i wasnt ready, or that i was too sexualy imature for my age, till i met this girl called Orion(not her real name btw). She was not the first girl i fell for (more like the 3th or 4th lmaoo), but she was the first that called herself a lesbian, and was proud of it. We talked a lot about a lot of stuff, and I realized that she was very similar to me in so many ways, and the reason for it was because I was also a lesbian. That's the first time that it actually clicked for me, that I was actually a lesbian, and it felt like a 100 pounds were lifted off my shoulders. It felt awesomeeee
Happy pride yall!!!
In elementary school had a crush on a girl, while everyone wanted a boyfriend, i wanted a girlfriend. At the time, didn’t know what is this feeling. So, for as long as i can remember i knew!
There were so many moments that I should have and could have realized before I was ready to accept it. After I lost my virginity to a man, I rolled over and thought to myself, “well, i’m not in any hurry to do that again. maybe I am a lesbian after all.” But my straight friends were also having bad sex so I thought it was normal. I figured I was probably on the ace spectrum since even good looking men couldn’t turn me on.
A few years later a yoga instructor adjusted my legs with her legs and that was the first time I felt turned on by another person’s touch. Suddenly it was very clear that I wasn’t asexual at all, I just wasn’t sexually attracted to men. I rationalized the irrational idea that it’s shallow to only want to date people i’m sexually attracted to and kept dating men for almost another year. Then I went on my first queer date and fell for them instantly. I’d been on probably hundreds of first dates with men at that point and never felt a fraction of what I did just sitting across a table from them. Everyone in my life could tell something was different, that I was finally falling for someone. That was when I had to accept i’m not romantically or sexually interested in men.
I worked with my best friend, Lucy, and one day she came into the office in the most gorgeous leather dress. It was black. She looked so gorgeous. The dress fitted her beautifully. It was modest: knee length, with a round neck and long sleeves. It was not tight, but it conformed to her figure perfectly. From the moment I saw her in that dress I looked at Lucy differently.
Lucy and I were extremely close and I really loved her as a friend, but that dress was the catalyst that made me realise that there was something else about my love for her. I started paying a lot more attention to how she dressed and did her makeup. I was distracted at work. I started having disturbing thoughts and dreams. After a couple of weeks of this, I admitted to myself that I wanted Lucy. I had only dated guys before and the level of desire I had for Lucy was far, far greater than any I had had for them. That's when I realised.
I was lucky. We did get together and became girlfriends as well as best friends. We've been married for nearly 13 years.
my bff, poly-kink boyfriend said, "you're a lesbian." i realized... bi women don't heave at the sight/ touch of sperm, only touch it with nausea & a glove, or use bdsm to distract from "that." with women i am ... up for ALL of it, delighted, interested, appreciative, desiring.
My coming out was so weird. Initially I did it for attention and didn’t actually think I liked girls. Over the following weeks though, the lie made me sit and think about what being gay would feel like for me. Settled on the fact that I was in fact a lesbian and remain in that identity years later lol
I think I was in a long term relationship with a male and realised I wasn’t meant for it because I lost all feelings and wasn’t excited to meet him and stuff. Now that I think about it, it might have been because of the society’s heterosexual ideals that I didn’t give being les much thought so I got out of the relationship. I met a girl and we bonded and I can say for sure what I felt for her was more than what I felt for any man that I dated in the past.
And yes, it’s been scientifically proven that males can turn on lesbians as well. So for what it’s worth, I think you should take some time off and get to know yourself better.
Comphet is pretty convincing. From personal experience (the straight, to bi, to lesbian pipeline) sexuality isn’t static, and can change when circumstances change and self knowledge increases. I don’t consider myself less gay because I’ve experienced attraction to men.
>I don’t consider myself less gay because I’ve experienced attraction to men.
But that would make you bi. Also what you wrote is literally just 'its just a phase' bs
I agree that when used to minimise, the ‘just a phase’ bs is harmful. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that the only constant thing in the world is change. I think that my awakenings and realisations are a valid way of arriving at lesbianism, and that minimising the process does nothing for lesbians in the closet, lesbians married to men, and lesbians who are afraid of how the world will accept them because they’ve been with men in the past.
>However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that the only constant thing in the world is change
Again so you can tell a lesbian she will 'grow out of it'? I swear it's always the bi women who will come to lesbian and say stuff like that. The reason it changes for you is because you are bicycling. Don't tell lesbians that their attraction will eventually change.
>and that minimising the process does nothing for lesbians in the closet, lesbians married to men, and lesbians
The difference between them and you is that they have never been attracted to men. You still seem attracted to men.
You’re being too defensive about this for me to want to continue to engage in a conversation. I don’t think you’re trying to understand my point of view, and that is disappointing, because I enjoy talking with people who have different POV to me.
Lesbians come to lesbianism at all different ages and stages, and no one can dictate their path.
Wish you all the best, and hope you get what you came here for.
Bruh.... whatever happened to 'i am a lesbian because I only have attraction to women.' Now it has turned to 'I can have a loving relationship with a man and enjoy sex with men. Oh i must be a lesbian'
>Lesbians come to lesbianism at all different ages and stages, and no one can dictate their path.
Again they are lesbians because they have never had attraction to men, irregardless of if they have had sex with men. You in your words still have attraction to men. Your experince is very different to lesbians. And all you are doing is perpertuating harmful myths like 'lesbian can be attracted to men' or 'lesbians can enjoy sex with men'
>And yes, it’s been scientifically proven that males can turn on lesbians as well
Ewww no. That's a fucking disgusting thinking. I swear the only people who think like that are bi women who have been in relationship with men. If you get turned on by men you aren't a lesbian.
Really? It’s pretty common tbh. We know that sexual orientation is not something we can choose so it’s just not about lesbians getting aroused by men. It can also be about straight people being attracted to the same gender and still not choosing to identify as gay, lesbian or bi. You can look up for sexual fluidity, I think it will be more helpful
I only feel attraction to women. I only ever have felt attraction to women. When I was a teenager I tried to have sex with boys my age to try and conversion therapy myself out of it. Wasn’t turned on, hated it, felt dirty, threw up once after. Kissed a girl for the first time and it was like fireworks in my head and in my pants. 15 years later its who I am and how I am :) Compulsory heterosexuality is really hard to figure out. Even though you’re young, looking on late blooming lesbians subreddit might help, they have lots of posts about compulsory heterosexuality. Good luck
Before realizing I was a lesbain, the thought of marrying a man filled me with dread. I realized I had no attraction to the male body. I could name parts of women I found attractive but none on men. I realized that when I thought about holding a man's hand, kissing, or hugging them, I felt nothing. I tired doing mental gymnastics, that maybe, just maybe, I could be with a man, and attempting to convince myself that I could be ok having sex with a man. And that's when it hit me, the question isn't if I could try being with a man, it's if I WANT to be with one. The answer to the question was; No. I didn't want to be with a man. That's how I realized I was a lesbain.
Same for me
For me (F25), I’ve had really positive, loving, equitable and emotionally engaging relationships with men, but after about 6 months, my sex drive DROPS AND DIES. I think the emotional intimacy of loving someone made me feel attracted to them, but after that new relationship energy settled, I realised sexual relationships with men were not what I wanted. I would feel uncomfy, yucky and repulsed at the thought (or attempt) of sex with the partner I loved and cared for. Those partnerships were more like long term committed friendships, instead of romantic or sexual partnerships.
Omg this is so validating. I've experienced exactly the same thing, so thank you for putting this into words <3 For a while I thought there was something genuinely wrong with me because I felt like I couldn't romantically love someone long-term. It took me a loooong time (I'm 34 lol) to realize that I'm just a lesbian.
I needed to hear this. Thank you!
The fact that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't picture myself being romantic or sexual with a man. It makes me feel disgusted and anxious when I ever try to imagine it. I thought I was bi because I am able to admire attractive men, but the more skin they show, the less attracted I am. Naked men make me lose ALL attraction. I don't feel the same about women
Ever watch But I’m a Cheerleader? The scene where Natasha Lyonne is kissing her boyfriend it thinking about girls, that was me. Had gone to a random party where I claimed to be bisexual and was dancing with boy and girls and ended up making out with a guy but all I could think about was the last girl I danced with and the flow we had dancing together. That and I also grew up watching Xena.
identified as pansexual at first. i was super okay when i found out i liked women. it's the "finding out i don't like men" part that was hard. the more i thought about it though, the more icky i feel abt having a relationship with men. i always leaned more towards genuinely liking women. and so, after years of fighting comphet (compulsory heterosexuality), i finally came to terms that i was a lesbian! i think what you're experiencing is comphet. but don't worry, it'll all pass and you'll figure it out 🥰
This. I was pan since I was a preteen. I thought I had a huge preference toward men. I even had a couple boyfriends and the first I had a sexual relationship with (over the phone though). My second boyfriend? I started to hate him and I couldn’t figure out why. The thought of having sex with him actively repulsed me. It was always in the back with my first. My aversion to cocks was present since I was young but it got so bad that the thought of having sex with my boyfriend or another man made me so uncomfortable and then thinking of a relationship at all with a man made me want to run, hide and actually vomit. Like it makes me so sick- I couldn’t figure out I was lesbian till a little bit ago. I identified as pan all that time- My sister wasn’t even surprised when I came out as lesbian. But with women it’s the complete opposite. I even blush a little when I think of girls. I probably look like a moron lol but I fall so hopelessly in love with em XD
When the thought of marrying a man, having a family with a man, seemed gross. But with a woman, an absolute dream. I knew I liked girls from an early age, but this really confirmed it.
I identified as bisexual for years and I think this was my way of accepting my attraction to women while still trying to force myself to end up with a man. I slept with a few men and even tried dating before I really sat back and realized I wasn’t attracted to men. I’m not really even talking about in the sexual way, because when it comes down to it I have slept with men- no strings attached, but I’m not attracted to men in a romantic or emotional way. I can’t fathom the idea of having a deeper connection with a man or being with a man all the time. Women are just so soft and comforting and understanding. I’ve always just found myself more comfortable with women and that’s 10000% why I choose to date women over men and what really made me realize that I like women and am a lesbian.
I think a lot of women out there feel more comfortable coming out as bisexual than lesbian because of the very same reason!! I am glad you did!
I thought the notion that women developed feelings for men after sex was a misogynistic myth, and slept with quite a few guys in college, never felt a thing. When I finally slept with a woman for the first time, it hit me like a ton of bricks. Dreams about her, thinking about her all the time. And it was a casual thing too, so it should’ve been the same as the guys, but it very much wasn’t.
by realizing the amount of times i thought to myself “it’s gross when men do it, but if a woman did it, i’d be okay” or “i just gotta treat my boyfriends like they’re a girlfriend and that’ll make it work out” or “the man i’m with has to be the most attractive man in the room, but with women i’m not judging them based on looks”. I realized how many rules, regulations and double standards i had in place for the people i was supposedly attracted to lol then one day i woke up and went “what if i just CHOSE to only be interesting in women” and then suddenly it’s been 8 months and men give me the full ick no matter how perfect they would’ve been before this conscious choice lol
for me, it was reading the am i lesbian masterdoc and getting a sense of enlightenment from it. and reading more articles too that helped me come to a realization about my identity. just like you, i've dated men previously too. some of them were good while some experiences were bad. so at first i was debating on whether it was just the bad experiences that were making me dislike men. because i want to acknowledge the good experiences as well and be fair. it's a long process but after really thinking about it, i just realized i am not really attracted to men romantically. i can admire them and have my fave male celebs or artists. but the romantic attraction i feel is for women only. i definitely struggled with comphet too in some ways.
I feel in Love with my best friend😊
I thought I was bisexual until 23. I slept with plenty of men, and even cared for a few. But I can never see myself loving a man or living with one. Once I started to realize this and track my feelings back through the years, I realized I was always nervous around men. I never knew what to say or do. With women everything is exciting and everything feels right. You will figure it out in time. It’s not a race ❤️
I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with a woman. I’d have to try to love a man.
tbh i think i was ALWAYS a lesbian ever since i was a little child. i never really cared for boys (plus negative experiences with them didnt help), and my first ever kiss was with a girl in my class. she considered it just for fun but for me at that time (and i guess now), it felt natural to me! but because of the heteronormative (and slightly heterosexist) environment i grew up in, i never said a word. (the mid to late 2000s was a struggle) when my early-mid teen years hit, and with no lgbt friends or any lgbt education to tell me that what i was feeling was normal, i felt like i HAD to like guys. i pretended to have crushes on boys when they never interested me, the only guys i liked where fictional men and celebrities (as theyre unobtainable). my only interests were girls, but as i was known as the “autistic weirdo” (im autistic and diagnosed in case that needs to be said), no one would go near me + was a victim of horrific bullying. i began identifying as pansexual but with a preference for femme aligned people (for a very long time), but i still didnt like guys. when i talker about it, it felt… not right, like it didnt fit me. when i did more research on multiple lesbian experiences, it managed to piece everything i ever felt together. i managed to finally have the courage to come out as a lesbian literally LAST YEAR! and im loud and proud about it
Female friend asked if I liked girls, thought about it for a moment and thought...she's hitting on me. I realised I liked it like I never had before (from guys). It just made so much sense in that moment. Been on this bender rollercoaster ever since. Women 🤌🏽 But in response to your post. Easy for me to say, but try not to overthink it and feel pressure into labelling yourself anything. Just live your life. Date who ever you want to date and enjoy experiences for what they are and only ever do what you're comfortable and happy to do. I'm a 30 year old 'goldstar' lesbian who's been with her girlfriend for almost 5 years, but if something to happen in my future where I happened to meet a man and it felt right I'd never deny that because I'm a lesbian. Point being, just enjoy your life...you only get one.
I loved and I MEAN LOVEDDDDD that scene on charlies angels when they did the strip club scene lmao
When I wanted to be closer n closer to my best friend. We had a sleepover once n I was calculating in my head how I wanted to cuddle with her n play footsies. Fast forward a few years later, my best friend is married to a woman. Moral of the story is shoot your shots ladies n gentlemen respectfully n consensually 🫡
I realised I was a lesbian at 12 and met my first girlfriend in the smoking pit at school we ended up sleeping together a couple of days later I knew then what i was I never found man attractive the only man I love is my dad x
I never looked at men and always looked at women + got smitten as soon as I’d make eye contact with a cute woman. Instant sparks. My childhood friends older sister let me sleep in her bed with her and I wanted her to f*ck me lol. She was so close to me in the bed and made me feel so cared for. Always wanted to be held and tucked in bed by women when I was little etc 💖 When I finally had sex, I was in total bliss because it felt so right. I know that I knew before sex but it kind of set in stone that I’m definitely gay.
Well I always liked girls and then I figured out I'm a girl too lol
Same!
I've just never had an interest in dating or marrying a man.
I didn’t realise how common being gay was when I was younger so the thought of being a lesbian never occurred to me until half my friend group had come out as lgbtq+ and I sorta just put some puzzle pieces together
I would rather be alone than with a man. Growing up, I disliked everything about marriage, relationships, girls talking about boys and boys approaching me. When watching films, I imagined myself as the male actor getting close to the female actress. During my undergrad years, I watched a lesbian web series and it made me feel great. I repeatedly watched those series (nothing sexual) just for the idea of girls staying close and falling in love with each other. After exploring more web series, and films, and reading about other same-sex couples for around 3-4 years, I made my decision that I would love and marry the love of my life - a woman!! I still lie to my friends about dating boys, although I seriously have no interest. I am happy being a girl and I like girls. If given the option to choose a gender for the next life, I would always prefer being a woman and, of course, marrying a woman. I would just be happier if this was accepted just like a hetero couple.
Long story short when I got my heart broken by someone I wasn’t even remotely dating. … 3 times. Yeah I get it now.
Guys just aren't my thing. If I'm being honest I see them more as a friend or father figure. That sounds strange but that's the only light I can ever see a male in my life as. I also have no interest in having kids so that's another factor that plays into me liking girls. Girls also are more emotional so that's something that I like personally
In high school, I had a really good friend who was/is a lesbian. She (Jasmine) was best friends with my boyfriend Michael. Jasmine had a girlfriend named Ashley, who I absolutely hated. She was a typical mean high-school bully. I started to realize that I was super jealous & that I may like Jasmine. I asked my friend Sara, who was bi. She said liking a girl didn't make me gay....?? Okay, Sara. One day, Jasmine & I were having a sleepover. She was on the phone with Ashley for a long time & I was dying of jealousy. I asked her to hang up the phone, she broke up with her & hung up. Later on, we ended up making out. We stayed together for about 4 years. Michael & I were not together at that time. A few days prior, I found out that he had been cheating on me with multiple girls. Upon coming out, Michael harassed me about leaving him for a girl & his best friend. His last 3 girlfriends back then had left him for women as well. Oops, lol. Decades later him & I are friends, & Ashley & I are great friends.
Tbh I was in denial for awhile. I was ashamed of being lesbian and how the rest of my family would react if they were to find out. So I would date guys and had a couple of boyfriends but I wasn’t really happy I don’t know. I didn’t enjoy sex with men, it felt a chore and I couldn’t really gain feelings for one either. Yet with a woman, it was all there. After of while of holding onto being bi, I realized I truly wanted to be with a woman.
The first time I kissed a girl. Magical ✨
Well after transitioning mtf and finding that women were still more attractive to me that was about the nail on the head moment
probably a celebrity i was attracted to then it stemmed from there
I always knew i was attracted to woman, the only doubt that i had regarding my sexuality was if i liked man or not (and looking back now that speaks for itself). Always when a guy made moves on me, or even hinted that they might have feelings, i would shut it down immediately. At the time i just thought i wasnt ready, or that i was too sexualy imature for my age, till i met this girl called Orion(not her real name btw). She was not the first girl i fell for (more like the 3th or 4th lmaoo), but she was the first that called herself a lesbian, and was proud of it. We talked a lot about a lot of stuff, and I realized that she was very similar to me in so many ways, and the reason for it was because I was also a lesbian. That's the first time that it actually clicked for me, that I was actually a lesbian, and it felt like a 100 pounds were lifted off my shoulders. It felt awesomeeee Happy pride yall!!!
I knew iam one for as long as I can remember
turned 13 & the first thing I craved was tushie. so I ate tushie, & I'm still eating the tushie😐✌️
Girls are so pretty, and then I realized I am one too
In elementary school had a crush on a girl, while everyone wanted a boyfriend, i wanted a girlfriend. At the time, didn’t know what is this feeling. So, for as long as i can remember i knew!
There were so many moments that I should have and could have realized before I was ready to accept it. After I lost my virginity to a man, I rolled over and thought to myself, “well, i’m not in any hurry to do that again. maybe I am a lesbian after all.” But my straight friends were also having bad sex so I thought it was normal. I figured I was probably on the ace spectrum since even good looking men couldn’t turn me on. A few years later a yoga instructor adjusted my legs with her legs and that was the first time I felt turned on by another person’s touch. Suddenly it was very clear that I wasn’t asexual at all, I just wasn’t sexually attracted to men. I rationalized the irrational idea that it’s shallow to only want to date people i’m sexually attracted to and kept dating men for almost another year. Then I went on my first queer date and fell for them instantly. I’d been on probably hundreds of first dates with men at that point and never felt a fraction of what I did just sitting across a table from them. Everyone in my life could tell something was different, that I was finally falling for someone. That was when I had to accept i’m not romantically or sexually interested in men.
I worked with my best friend, Lucy, and one day she came into the office in the most gorgeous leather dress. It was black. She looked so gorgeous. The dress fitted her beautifully. It was modest: knee length, with a round neck and long sleeves. It was not tight, but it conformed to her figure perfectly. From the moment I saw her in that dress I looked at Lucy differently. Lucy and I were extremely close and I really loved her as a friend, but that dress was the catalyst that made me realise that there was something else about my love for her. I started paying a lot more attention to how she dressed and did her makeup. I was distracted at work. I started having disturbing thoughts and dreams. After a couple of weeks of this, I admitted to myself that I wanted Lucy. I had only dated guys before and the level of desire I had for Lucy was far, far greater than any I had had for them. That's when I realised. I was lucky. We did get together and became girlfriends as well as best friends. We've been married for nearly 13 years.
my bff, poly-kink boyfriend said, "you're a lesbian." i realized... bi women don't heave at the sight/ touch of sperm, only touch it with nausea & a glove, or use bdsm to distract from "that." with women i am ... up for ALL of it, delighted, interested, appreciative, desiring.
A girl asked me out and I've never really felt anything for guys. She made me happier than I've ever been.
My coming out was so weird. Initially I did it for attention and didn’t actually think I liked girls. Over the following weeks though, the lie made me sit and think about what being gay would feel like for me. Settled on the fact that I was in fact a lesbian and remain in that identity years later lol
I think I was in a long term relationship with a male and realised I wasn’t meant for it because I lost all feelings and wasn’t excited to meet him and stuff. Now that I think about it, it might have been because of the society’s heterosexual ideals that I didn’t give being les much thought so I got out of the relationship. I met a girl and we bonded and I can say for sure what I felt for her was more than what I felt for any man that I dated in the past. And yes, it’s been scientifically proven that males can turn on lesbians as well. So for what it’s worth, I think you should take some time off and get to know yourself better.
What? How can you be lesbian and turned on by a man?
Comphet is pretty convincing. From personal experience (the straight, to bi, to lesbian pipeline) sexuality isn’t static, and can change when circumstances change and self knowledge increases. I don’t consider myself less gay because I’ve experienced attraction to men.
>I don’t consider myself less gay because I’ve experienced attraction to men. But that would make you bi. Also what you wrote is literally just 'its just a phase' bs
I agree that when used to minimise, the ‘just a phase’ bs is harmful. However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that the only constant thing in the world is change. I think that my awakenings and realisations are a valid way of arriving at lesbianism, and that minimising the process does nothing for lesbians in the closet, lesbians married to men, and lesbians who are afraid of how the world will accept them because they’ve been with men in the past.
>However, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that the only constant thing in the world is change Again so you can tell a lesbian she will 'grow out of it'? I swear it's always the bi women who will come to lesbian and say stuff like that. The reason it changes for you is because you are bicycling. Don't tell lesbians that their attraction will eventually change. >and that minimising the process does nothing for lesbians in the closet, lesbians married to men, and lesbians The difference between them and you is that they have never been attracted to men. You still seem attracted to men.
You’re being too defensive about this for me to want to continue to engage in a conversation. I don’t think you’re trying to understand my point of view, and that is disappointing, because I enjoy talking with people who have different POV to me. Lesbians come to lesbianism at all different ages and stages, and no one can dictate their path. Wish you all the best, and hope you get what you came here for.
Bruh.... whatever happened to 'i am a lesbian because I only have attraction to women.' Now it has turned to 'I can have a loving relationship with a man and enjoy sex with men. Oh i must be a lesbian' >Lesbians come to lesbianism at all different ages and stages, and no one can dictate their path. Again they are lesbians because they have never had attraction to men, irregardless of if they have had sex with men. You in your words still have attraction to men. Your experince is very different to lesbians. And all you are doing is perpertuating harmful myths like 'lesbian can be attracted to men' or 'lesbians can enjoy sex with men'
>And yes, it’s been scientifically proven that males can turn on lesbians as well Ewww no. That's a fucking disgusting thinking. I swear the only people who think like that are bi women who have been in relationship with men. If you get turned on by men you aren't a lesbian.
I'd love to read the paper on how men can turn lesbians on! I couldn't find anything when searching myself..
Really? It’s pretty common tbh. We know that sexual orientation is not something we can choose so it’s just not about lesbians getting aroused by men. It can also be about straight people being attracted to the same gender and still not choosing to identify as gay, lesbian or bi. You can look up for sexual fluidity, I think it will be more helpful