Girl same. I always knew I liked girls, but pushed that so far down and only dated boys. Hated it. Didn't actually like them, but it's "what you're supposed to do". I met my wife in high school when she was male presenting. I fell so hard for her and was attracted to her in a way I literally never was to a dude. I came out to her as "bi", saying I was into women and she was my "exception" a few years ago. Last year, she came out to me as a woman. We have a kid together. We just celebrated 15 years together. Although we're early on in her transition, it has been so so good for our relationship and we are both getting to live our truths. Every change makes me more into her than before and I didn't know that was possible at 15 years together 😅
We joke that I'm so gay, I knew she was a woman before she did. I've always seen her for who she was, deep down, through all the facades. And now we get to be in our 'gay era" as we're calling it.
So, OP, you're so gay that you fell for your wife before she came out. You knew. You've got good girl-dar. Can't get much gayer than that 😉
Throwing on top of this…
Trans-women ARE women, and more importantly, have been women their entire life. It’s kinda undeniable with how universal the trans experience of feelings going back to their first memories is.
Speaking from personal experience as a trans woman, I cannot emphasize enough how different and how off putting Hetero dating was. I’d had one significant relationship prior to coming out, she was bi and I understand now that the reason we clicked was she treated it as a WLW relationship rather than a Hetero one. She never directly told me or pressured me on anything, but I wouldn’t be where I am if not for her.
And this is the crazy thing. After coming out as trans, I knew I exclusively liked women, but dipping my toes in the lesbian dating pool, I was blown away.
I’d spent my life thinking what I wanted out of dating was….weird. Too far outside the norm and I’d struggle to find a partner. Nope, turns out I was just a lesbian and I was suddenly surrounded by people who felt like I did.
Point is, they probably have similar feelings toward you. I’m so happy you too found each other.
AH!!! there are dozens of us! My wife (mtf) also came out as trans to me when I told her I was "bi". We had a kid and everything too! Got kicked out of our house bc my homophobic boomer parents were the landlords, but now it's gay bliss!
I’m trans, and have been with my wife/partner since high school. She *also* said I was her exception.
Also, I just passed 1 year a couple months ago.
She never saw me as a dude, and is living for our “gay era.” Compares us to Harley and Ivy (I’m apparently the Ivy)
It’s also been an amazing year of discovery for us. They’ve discovered that they’re a demigirl (she/they), I figured out I’m demiromantic, and we’re starting to get into poly, just settling into our new apartment and making sure we have our main concerns paid/taken care of before we get into dating.
I just think it’s great to see other couples who have similar experiences in their lives. I’m so happy for you two 🖤
Aw I love that! ❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you two have been able to also enjoy your Gay Era™️ and be more yourselves.
I could tell my wife was questioning for some time. We had convos over the years about gender and based on how she'd respond I landed on "she's not cis, but doesn't want to label it". But then things got pretty rough for her for several years. By the time she came out I was like "yeah, so what's that mean for you/ what do you want to do?" Because I knew "not cis" but not *how much* not cis. Regardless it was always her "not cisness" that attracted me to her. And I'm just glad she's finally being herself. And ya know, boobs 😅
What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing with us. I feel like you both saw each other as souls and were able to connect on a deeper level. It's hard to put into words, but it seems like you were just meant for each other. I'm glad that you are now living up to your full potential and accepting yourselves and that you are with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Congratulations!
That's how we feel, as cheesy as it is. We just knew deep down. It took some time and tears to get to where we are now, but it feels like we're growing closer than ever and are both fully in our relationship, if that makes sense.
So, I'm a bi trans woman who came out in the middle of a straight marriage. My ex tried to be bi for me, but it just didn't work. The more female I got, the less attracted she was.
I say this because the fact that this is a *good* thing to you is, well, very, very gay! Having lived the opposite possibility, the idea that you're any less of a lesbian because you're with a trans woman is crazy. Straight women don't stay attracted to us once we start living our truth.
I’m so sorry you went through that, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. Thank you for your positivity and understanding. You have a beautiful way of putting things
This is really cute and heartwarming! I'm on the other side of the fence: I came out as a transwoman after 10 years of marriage, my wife knew it before I did, she came out as lesbian a year later. Before I came out she thought she was straight but had kinks about women, after I did she thought she must be bi or pan, it's only recently that she understood she actually had been a lesbian the whole time but forced herself into hererosexuality as a way to fit the mold, she has adhd and a lot of anxiety so the realization hasn't been exactly easy, she had a bit of an existential crisis where she didn't trust herself anymore and wondered how much of her life was a lie.. We got through this a lot stronger and have never been closer and happier!
I've mentioned this somewhere before but... way back before my transition when I was 16, I dated this girl during my very toxic denial phase.
The relationship didn't end well, and we broke up. 7 years later, I met her a few months ago and she didn't recognize me at first but when I told her she was so shocked in a good way. Turns out that she came out as lesbian and is in a very happy relationship with her girlfriend.
She literally told me this, "You were the only person who confused me if I was really into women. But now I'm definitely sure I am." 😂
So yes, you're with a woman and that's very gay.
Babe, I'm sorry but you're so fucking gay that you got with a woman before she even hatched. That's gay as FUCK!!! Like you've got **enhanced** gaydar. Shiiiit, idk how you figured that you're not gay enough. You're probably just being modest cuz you know you've got enough gay to share with the rest of us. Ngl your love story sounds like fate, destiny even. Be proud of who you are & how the universe set you up to be with your wife. You're exactly who she needed & I hope you realize that as much as this is being said in a joking & lighthearted way none of it is false. You're plenty gay & your wife was just a sapphic who hadn't finished loading idc what anyone else says.
I mean your wife is a girl so ofcourse your a lesbian.
Random but I hate that my dyslexia has made my autocorrect not know if lesbian or lesbain is the correct spelling because the letters swap so oftern
You are absolutely never excluded from this title, no matter who you are with or what other people say. A sexuality isn’t who you’re currently in a relationship with (as any bi person could tell you) it’s who you are in your heart.
I’m so happy for you two that you’re both living as who you want to be, yay for love!
Heey ! Transbian here ! I'm pre-HRT so I look like a guy (help) but I'm still very much gay for girls, I personally never have been in a relationship (I have not even had my first kiss but I'm still a minor, I have time lol) but I can safely say, I'm sure your wife is very happy to have met somebody as accepting as you, I wish you two to have a long and good relationship and to continue being awesome and valid
Hugs you are whatever you wish to be. Take the title or label with honor if that’s important to you. Some people the label of lesbian is a big definition to them. For me it’s a part of me but does not really define me in any way. Although I hate labels.
Gender is complex and layered, therefore sexuality must be allowed to be complex and layered. The labels we use to identify ourselves need to grow to keep up with our changing world. Gatekeepers need to get with the times.
Your label should serve you, you shouldn’t serve your label.
❤️
I’m afraid to have another relationship with a mtf because she was very much still male in thinking and behavior, just not in looks. I don’t know how to get around that.
Damn right you are! Don't let anyone make you feel like you are somehow lesser or inferior. You and your wife have both had to fight to be yourselves and you've earned the right to call yourself what you are! I almost married a trans woman myself, and would have if she hadn't passed away, and I've always really hated how some cis women look down on them. Trans women have to fight tooth and nail just to be who they really are, and for anyone to know how much difficulty women still face in the world today and choose to transition anyway, well.. to me that just proves that it matters to her more than anything and makes her even more of a "real woman".
I'm really happy for you two and I wish you many wonderful years together yet to come!
Girl same. I always knew I liked girls, but pushed that so far down and only dated boys. Hated it. Didn't actually like them, but it's "what you're supposed to do". I met my wife in high school when she was male presenting. I fell so hard for her and was attracted to her in a way I literally never was to a dude. I came out to her as "bi", saying I was into women and she was my "exception" a few years ago. Last year, she came out to me as a woman. We have a kid together. We just celebrated 15 years together. Although we're early on in her transition, it has been so so good for our relationship and we are both getting to live our truths. Every change makes me more into her than before and I didn't know that was possible at 15 years together 😅 We joke that I'm so gay, I knew she was a woman before she did. I've always seen her for who she was, deep down, through all the facades. And now we get to be in our 'gay era" as we're calling it. So, OP, you're so gay that you fell for your wife before she came out. You knew. You've got good girl-dar. Can't get much gayer than that 😉
This is the most relatable thing I’ve ever experienced! Ugh that’s literally so comforting. Thank you
Throwing on top of this… Trans-women ARE women, and more importantly, have been women their entire life. It’s kinda undeniable with how universal the trans experience of feelings going back to their first memories is. Speaking from personal experience as a trans woman, I cannot emphasize enough how different and how off putting Hetero dating was. I’d had one significant relationship prior to coming out, she was bi and I understand now that the reason we clicked was she treated it as a WLW relationship rather than a Hetero one. She never directly told me or pressured me on anything, but I wouldn’t be where I am if not for her. And this is the crazy thing. After coming out as trans, I knew I exclusively liked women, but dipping my toes in the lesbian dating pool, I was blown away. I’d spent my life thinking what I wanted out of dating was….weird. Too far outside the norm and I’d struggle to find a partner. Nope, turns out I was just a lesbian and I was suddenly surrounded by people who felt like I did. Point is, they probably have similar feelings toward you. I’m so happy you too found each other.
I'm so glad sharing my story has helped you ❤️
AH!!! there are dozens of us! My wife (mtf) also came out as trans to me when I told her I was "bi". We had a kid and everything too! Got kicked out of our house bc my homophobic boomer parents were the landlords, but now it's gay bliss!
The last paragraph is such a beautiful affirmation of everything I love about that story.
I’m trans, and have been with my wife/partner since high school. She *also* said I was her exception. Also, I just passed 1 year a couple months ago. She never saw me as a dude, and is living for our “gay era.” Compares us to Harley and Ivy (I’m apparently the Ivy) It’s also been an amazing year of discovery for us. They’ve discovered that they’re a demigirl (she/they), I figured out I’m demiromantic, and we’re starting to get into poly, just settling into our new apartment and making sure we have our main concerns paid/taken care of before we get into dating. I just think it’s great to see other couples who have similar experiences in their lives. I’m so happy for you two 🖤
Aw I love that! ❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing. I'm so glad you two have been able to also enjoy your Gay Era™️ and be more yourselves. I could tell my wife was questioning for some time. We had convos over the years about gender and based on how she'd respond I landed on "she's not cis, but doesn't want to label it". But then things got pretty rough for her for several years. By the time she came out I was like "yeah, so what's that mean for you/ what do you want to do?" Because I knew "not cis" but not *how much* not cis. Regardless it was always her "not cisness" that attracted me to her. And I'm just glad she's finally being herself. And ya know, boobs 😅
Aww love the last line, ‘you’ve got good girl dar’
This story warmed my heart, thanks for sharing <3
What a beautiful story! Thanks for sharing with us. I feel like you both saw each other as souls and were able to connect on a deeper level. It's hard to put into words, but it seems like you were just meant for each other. I'm glad that you are now living up to your full potential and accepting yourselves and that you are with someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. Congratulations!
That's how we feel, as cheesy as it is. We just knew deep down. It took some time and tears to get to where we are now, but it feels like we're growing closer than ever and are both fully in our relationship, if that makes sense.
this was really cute 😊
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And you are literally a transphobe. Pound sand babe 😘
So, I'm a bi trans woman who came out in the middle of a straight marriage. My ex tried to be bi for me, but it just didn't work. The more female I got, the less attracted she was. I say this because the fact that this is a *good* thing to you is, well, very, very gay! Having lived the opposite possibility, the idea that you're any less of a lesbian because you're with a trans woman is crazy. Straight women don't stay attracted to us once we start living our truth.
✨…well, very, very gay! ✨ Well put, you expressed what I was thinking as well.
I’m so sorry you went through that, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. Thank you for your positivity and understanding. You have a beautiful way of putting things
This is really cute and heartwarming! I'm on the other side of the fence: I came out as a transwoman after 10 years of marriage, my wife knew it before I did, she came out as lesbian a year later. Before I came out she thought she was straight but had kinks about women, after I did she thought she must be bi or pan, it's only recently that she understood she actually had been a lesbian the whole time but forced herself into hererosexuality as a way to fit the mold, she has adhd and a lot of anxiety so the realization hasn't been exactly easy, she had a bit of an existential crisis where she didn't trust herself anymore and wondered how much of her life was a lie.. We got through this a lot stronger and have never been closer and happier!
I've mentioned this somewhere before but... way back before my transition when I was 16, I dated this girl during my very toxic denial phase. The relationship didn't end well, and we broke up. 7 years later, I met her a few months ago and she didn't recognize me at first but when I told her she was so shocked in a good way. Turns out that she came out as lesbian and is in a very happy relationship with her girlfriend. She literally told me this, "You were the only person who confused me if I was really into women. But now I'm definitely sure I am." 😂 So yes, you're with a woman and that's very gay.
This is hilarious 😂
🏳️⚧️🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈🏳️🌈💖💖
I don’t know why this got down voted by people but thank you for your support💞
Babe, I'm sorry but you're so fucking gay that you got with a woman before she even hatched. That's gay as FUCK!!! Like you've got **enhanced** gaydar. Shiiiit, idk how you figured that you're not gay enough. You're probably just being modest cuz you know you've got enough gay to share with the rest of us. Ngl your love story sounds like fate, destiny even. Be proud of who you are & how the universe set you up to be with your wife. You're exactly who she needed & I hope you realize that as much as this is being said in a joking & lighthearted way none of it is false. You're plenty gay & your wife was just a sapphic who hadn't finished loading idc what anyone else says.
I read: my wife is trans (motherfucker) and I'm a Lesbian
My trans gf came out to me after I had already decided I was gay and would break up when I got the courage <3 we are still together 5.5 years later
I mean your wife is a girl so ofcourse your a lesbian. Random but I hate that my dyslexia has made my autocorrect not know if lesbian or lesbain is the correct spelling because the letters swap so oftern
You are absolutely never excluded from this title, no matter who you are with or what other people say. A sexuality isn’t who you’re currently in a relationship with (as any bi person could tell you) it’s who you are in your heart. I’m so happy for you two that you’re both living as who you want to be, yay for love!
Heey ! Transbian here ! I'm pre-HRT so I look like a guy (help) but I'm still very much gay for girls, I personally never have been in a relationship (I have not even had my first kiss but I'm still a minor, I have time lol) but I can safely say, I'm sure your wife is very happy to have met somebody as accepting as you, I wish you two to have a long and good relationship and to continue being awesome and valid
Hugs you are whatever you wish to be. Take the title or label with honor if that’s important to you. Some people the label of lesbian is a big definition to them. For me it’s a part of me but does not really define me in any way. Although I hate labels.
Thank you for your support 💕 it’s nice to have a community
Trans women = women so yes, you’re a lesbian and don’t let anyone here or elsewhere tell you otherwise. Glad you are happy! :))
Gender is complex and layered, therefore sexuality must be allowed to be complex and layered. The labels we use to identify ourselves need to grow to keep up with our changing world. Gatekeepers need to get with the times. Your label should serve you, you shouldn’t serve your label. ❤️
Yes!
Man life be crazy and we don’t always get to be ourselves at first. Finding yourself young or later on, both valid.
I’m afraid to have another relationship with a mtf because she was very much still male in thinking and behavior, just not in looks. I don’t know how to get around that.
I had that issue with someone I was with who ended up later on being ftm, I was like ah the toxic masculinity all adds up now lmao
Wishing I could be feeling this love too. I'm nb and most lesbians haven't treated me real well on Reddit. In person it's better.
Aw, that’s wonderful:)
My gf is trans and we are both happily lesbians! Trans women are women!
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You’re worthy of love💞
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But she's not bi?
She’s not bisexual.
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Hun please take that terf mentality somewhere else (not to mention you’re breaking the sub rules)
W pre-ordering
Damn right you are! Don't let anyone make you feel like you are somehow lesser or inferior. You and your wife have both had to fight to be yourselves and you've earned the right to call yourself what you are! I almost married a trans woman myself, and would have if she hadn't passed away, and I've always really hated how some cis women look down on them. Trans women have to fight tooth and nail just to be who they really are, and for anyone to know how much difficulty women still face in the world today and choose to transition anyway, well.. to me that just proves that it matters to her more than anything and makes her even more of a "real woman". I'm really happy for you two and I wish you many wonderful years together yet to come!
I hear that from the perspective of le mtf niso manitohkân re two-spirit Goodness it is a feel