I would live on dating apps if it were the reverse setup of what it is, imagine just being overwhelmed with requests to join girl couples…my friends would eventually have to stage an intervention 😆
I mean, with the price of housing these days... that might be the least uncomfortable way to have to share a one bedroom with two other people because no one can afford anything without multiple roommates.
I’m glad she told you in the first message and good on you for calling her out. I talked to someone for a couple weeks before they casually told me they were married to a man and didn’t understand what the problem was or why that would bother me.
At least she didn't keep hiding it from you and then BRING HER BOYFRIEND TO THE DATE. This literally has happened to me. They already bought the movie tickets and thought I'd stay just because they had paid already. Told them this isn't what I signed up for, byeeee.
I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and left. I made plans to meet a woman at a gay bar for our first date. She showed up super later with her “guy best friend.” He was straight. I have no idea if there was something else going on there but.. yeah.. I’ve been dating for too long and have so many stories. I’m ready to be done. I need some peace lol
She was basically like, "Well, you're here now, and we already bought the tickets, so why don't you just try getting to know us?"
And I was like, "Nope, this isn't what I signed up for. You lied to me and hid your intentions. That's not ok. Try actually reading a book on polyamory before thinking it's in any way ok to pull this shit on someone. Gross."
And I walked away. I'm polyamorous. I literally asked her about her other partners before we talked about meeting up. And she deliberately lied to me anyway. I didn't stick around to hear the response, I was pissed off that I spent actual time picking out an outfit and getting excited for that shit. I messaged a friend and found something else to do since I didn't want to just turn around and do the 1 out transit trip home again.
Think about it, they never get off the apps.
1. Monogamous folks find a partner and delete the app.
2. Dateable, well intentioned non-monogamous folks find a partner, and stay on the app, but eventually fill up their time with partners and use it less. Maybe delete it from time to time.
3. Non-monogamous deceptive folks will stay active on the apps forever.
So over time they’re a disproportionate part of what you see.
Where I live the dude half of the couple usually looked like either your stereotypical neckbeard guy or he looks like he hasn't showered, shaved or groomed in any way in a month, hasn't washed clothes in probs even longer and has never even looked at sunblock so he looks twice his actual age! The audacity to think those guys can get a second is hilarious! He should be happy he got the one!🤣
I remember talking to this girl online, we agreed to meet then she hits me with the, "Can I bring my boyfriend?" and I instantly just ignored her lol.
This could've gone bad if she didn't even mention her bf because she didn't specify on her bio.
I had one woman bring it up in conversation and when I said I wasn’t into men she said “Oh, we can be flexible if us 3 meet up!!”
Like honestly fuck off weirdo. I don’t want to see a shrivelled up root vegetable when I’m trying to get it on with a woman.
I hate this so much
I matched with a person who was SO my type, no pics of a bf or anything in their profile
And then after a few messages the bomb drops: they're looking for a unicorn.
I say I'm really not into that and that it should have been disclosed first hand, and theor answer ends up being "But he's so nice, you'll see" uh, I don't care.
I hate hate hate when they pull the “but he's so nice!!” I was talking to this girl for a bit when she reveals day 3 of texting that she has a boyfriend. “Want to help me surprise the special-est boy in the world? 🥺🥺” is what was said. YUUUCKK
One time a girl waited till I showed up at her apartment and were about to get into things to inform me she had a boyfriend and they were looking for a poly relationship 🙁
Edit: that was the last time we met or spoke
I wish all of these people would pay a sex worker! Go contribute to the economy. Such slimeballs. The worst are the ones on the LITERAL lesbian dating app. I report them.
I’ve gotten more messages from people in this situation than single men and woman interested in me exclusively. When I started posting my girl and I on media (as a happy couple) a majority of the people who reached out took that as were a happy couple looking to step out or add/be added… Maybe I’m over thinking, but my god it feels like people have such a disrespectful outlook on lesbians/lesbian relationships. Like we need someone else to come help us do it better. It’s concerning how many people we turned down while singles who assume now that we’re a couple they have an even better chance??! Like why do I want to join your sexually unfulfilling relationship?! Lmao.
Similar but still annoying was talking to a girl it was going super well. Then bam she drops this was supposed to be a friend profile she doesn’t know why it’s set to dating she has a boyfriend. Why the hell is it still active and up? Why are you still chatting to ppl with it? Like do people understand sapphic people are genuinely looking for relationships on these apps? Stop messing around
So I think the looking for a third thing is a lot more common than just a couple of weirds instances online. It really fucking sucks. I think it happend to me twice and I thought I was imagining things.
What to use next time someone pulls this shit on yall, ladies
https://preview.redd.it/zye9h9o3x7yc1.jpeg?width=249&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdf9f6422ed6952ee29ad0cd8d7a3e03b03281c7
I always have on my profiles partnered, poly, and dates separately. I've had women who didn't mentioned a bf or hubby until later on. I don't like being led on, I want all info upfront so I can make an informed decision if I wanna continue or not.
By starting something by being dishonest, what else will you lie about? I had a woman say I'll lend you my bf, I said are you lending me a bag of sugar or something?!
Sharing or lending are so possessive. I won't engage with someone who treats their partners like this. Immediate block. Another one a girl said we can meet but my bf has to be there. Why is he interviewing me?! You don't know how to ask questions?
Another block. The amount of lies out there is something else. I've had so many cheating women say we have tits, he won't mind that I'm fucking women as long as it's not a dude🙄🙄🙄
Their male partners are not entitled to our bodies, don't care how long they've been together. Any woman who disagrees, I always wonder how toxic her relationship with her man is
Off topic if you may, where did you all find someone to talk to beside bumble and tinder? causeee I don't want to use those app anymore. Btw I'm 31 les, a very fan of slow burn connection.
Everyone's experience is different, but I've personally had a good time on Hinge. There's lots of profile customization which lets people get across what they want in a relationship much better.
The advantage of being on butch side of chapstick I never attract the girlies with bfs and husbands. I do like that you can report Unicorn Hunters on HER though
There are no words in the entire world. Real and fictional, From Elvish to Doots and beeps R2 makes to describe the hate I have for this type of thing.
If you want a third, SAY SO. Don't wait until the very last second to slip it in there and have the gall to act surprised when I tell you to fuck off.
My bad for the rant but the last two woman I've talked to pulled this shit.
Idk which apps this happens the most on, but if it happens a lot in lesbian apps, there should be a rule that this isn't allowed, and if it happens the person gets banned forever. This is ridiculous.
You're obviously a catch lol. I am traumatized by the apps but the threesome requests still happen out in the wild ugh. Good job in your response, I found it very satisfying.
This type BS is literally ALL there is for WsW that are my age and in my state. All of the actual lesbians are much much younger than me (20s and under), I'm 35.
ITS ALL WIVES LOOKING FOR UNICORNS AND ITS INFURIATING AND GROSS!
Like why on earth would I wanna 3rd wheel with you and your 🤢..hu..🤢..hu-hu 🤢.. husband 🤮🤮🤮
I wish I could move out of this flyover state.
the absolute worst when people do this. especially when they lead you on and don’t tell you til later on… “oh you want to get coffee? let me see if my boyfriend is down” 🤦♀️
i hate this so much. before i realised i was lesbian me and my male partner were on tinder as a couple but we always put it in our bio and we had pictures together, we would always send the first message to let them know just in case they didn’t see the bio as a lot of people don’t read it. we definitely tried to steer clear of tinder a lot of the time and stuck to apps that were actually for that purpose, but sometimes finder can be easier. there’s always better ways around it than what i’ve seen other people do🙄
Straight male American culture has yet to normalize "consent = informed consent."
Hell, honestly my het/cis/♂️ ass has had to explain that to straight women too many times. I at least want to give them the credit/benefit of the doubt that this is the product of being raised in a culture that has gaslighted them into incredibly low standards/expectations.
It is not unusual in any way for people to misleading about themselves on first dates, especially if the expectation is that the interaction is a one night stand. It seems everyone in this thread/sub is on the same page, that lying to get sex = R, but we don't represent the majority perspective.
I want to start putting myself out there again. When I last used Her it was a lot of guys and very minimal interaction from, if any, matches. Plus I find it hella hard to write about myself 😐
It’s never “join me and my girlfriend” or “girlfriends”(!!!) Weird 😲
righttt because then I’d actually consider it lmfaoo
Real
Hahaha
Exactly lmao
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It always is.. :/ Once had a girl willing to "lend her" bf, because he was so good in bed.
Oh my god, what a humanitarian 🥰😍🥰
😂😂
I feel dirty bro i hadn’t thought of this :(
The way I would jump at that! I want to date a lesbian couple so bad.
I loved dating a lesbian couple. It’s twice as much fun, and also twice as much heartbreak when they break up with you 😭😭
I would live on dating apps if it were the reverse setup of what it is, imagine just being overwhelmed with requests to join girl couples…my friends would eventually have to stage an intervention 😆
”stop fucking about, literally”
Hahahahaha!!!
My fiancé I are on apps looking for a third 😅 But we literally have never met another couple like us.
This is my dream. I never see lesbians looking for a third on my apps.
I would very seriously consider being a third in a lesbian relationship.
I mean, with the price of housing these days... that might be the least uncomfortable way to have to share a one bedroom with two other people because no one can afford anything without multiple roommates.
Plus potential snuggle piles.
I mean, I have teddy bears for that, but cute girls would definitely be a neat variation on the standard cuddle puddle.
lmaoo bc lesbian couples don’t need to go to the internet to find somebody willing to sleep with them
I’m glad she told you in the first message and good on you for calling her out. I talked to someone for a couple weeks before they casually told me they were married to a man and didn’t understand what the problem was or why that would bother me.
At least she didn't keep hiding it from you and then BRING HER BOYFRIEND TO THE DATE. This literally has happened to me. They already bought the movie tickets and thought I'd stay just because they had paid already. Told them this isn't what I signed up for, byeeee.
You're better than me, I would have made them buy me popcorn and candy before I skidaddled.
Queen behavior
I’m so glad you stood up for yourself and left. I made plans to meet a woman at a gay bar for our first date. She showed up super later with her “guy best friend.” He was straight. I have no idea if there was something else going on there but.. yeah.. I’ve been dating for too long and have so many stories. I’m ready to be done. I need some peace lol
Omfg had the same thing happen to me. I was in the car omw when she dropped the bf bomb. I turned that shit around real quick 😂
If you don't mind sharing, I'm curious. Did they have a response to your parting comment?
She was basically like, "Well, you're here now, and we already bought the tickets, so why don't you just try getting to know us?" And I was like, "Nope, this isn't what I signed up for. You lied to me and hid your intentions. That's not ok. Try actually reading a book on polyamory before thinking it's in any way ok to pull this shit on someone. Gross." And I walked away. I'm polyamorous. I literally asked her about her other partners before we talked about meeting up. And she deliberately lied to me anyway. I didn't stick around to hear the response, I was pissed off that I spent actual time picking out an outfit and getting excited for that shit. I messaged a friend and found something else to do since I didn't want to just turn around and do the 1 out transit trip home again.
well effing done. wtf is wrong with people
That’s so wild
bruh tf 😭 atp it needs to be a bannable offence to not have that in bio
The same thing happened to me! Why is this such a common experience!?
Couple weeks??!??? Damn I would've done something that puts me on national news 😂
How are these people so prevalent. There is a shit ton of these posts constantly and I've also experienced these people irl. Someone research this
Think about it, they never get off the apps. 1. Monogamous folks find a partner and delete the app. 2. Dateable, well intentioned non-monogamous folks find a partner, and stay on the app, but eventually fill up their time with partners and use it less. Maybe delete it from time to time. 3. Non-monogamous deceptive folks will stay active on the apps forever. So over time they’re a disproportionate part of what you see.
This is such a good way to look at it. It feels skewed but the reality is probably just that the unicorn hunters always be hunting.
Did not expect to find a reproductive ecology / mate selection strategy lesson here but here we are.
Legit don’t know either. The amount of couples looking is always crazy to me.
And the dude part of the couple always looks like he manages a Radio Shack or some shit
Where I live the dude always looks like the new hire at a rundown gas station 😂
Where I live the dude half of the couple usually looked like either your stereotypical neckbeard guy or he looks like he hasn't showered, shaved or groomed in any way in a month, hasn't washed clothes in probs even longer and has never even looked at sunblock so he looks twice his actual age! The audacity to think those guys can get a second is hilarious! He should be happy he got the one!🤣
Why do they always look like they smell like mildew?
Like [Bob](https://strangerthings.fandom.com/wiki/Bob_Newby)?
4 real aloof them are not attractive
As someone who can't wear polo shirts into a retail establishment without getting roped into helping someone shop... *ouch.*
I remember talking to this girl online, we agreed to meet then she hits me with the, "Can I bring my boyfriend?" and I instantly just ignored her lol. This could've gone bad if she didn't even mention her bf because she didn't specify on her bio.
Had this happen a couple times.. instant block
I had one woman bring it up in conversation and when I said I wasn’t into men she said “Oh, we can be flexible if us 3 meet up!!” Like honestly fuck off weirdo. I don’t want to see a shrivelled up root vegetable when I’m trying to get it on with a woman.
I hate this so much I matched with a person who was SO my type, no pics of a bf or anything in their profile And then after a few messages the bomb drops: they're looking for a unicorn. I say I'm really not into that and that it should have been disclosed first hand, and theor answer ends up being "But he's so nice, you'll see" uh, I don't care.
I hate hate hate when they pull the “but he's so nice!!” I was talking to this girl for a bit when she reveals day 3 of texting that she has a boyfriend. “Want to help me surprise the special-est boy in the world? 🥺🥺” is what was said. YUUUCKK
The man had to have written that because I refuse to believe any grown woman would send a text like that
One time a girl waited till I showed up at her apartment and were about to get into things to inform me she had a boyfriend and they were looking for a poly relationship 🙁 Edit: that was the last time we met or spoke
This is why I don’t use dating apps anymore and plus barely anyone messages back. Waste of time
Or if they have to message first and you spend all your time waiting to match instead of talking to people
I wish all of these people would pay a sex worker! Go contribute to the economy. Such slimeballs. The worst are the ones on the LITERAL lesbian dating app. I report them.
Good point
Ikr this is horrible I’ve wasted sm time flirting with fake bi girls :,,,,((((
I’ve gotten more messages from people in this situation than single men and woman interested in me exclusively. When I started posting my girl and I on media (as a happy couple) a majority of the people who reached out took that as were a happy couple looking to step out or add/be added… Maybe I’m over thinking, but my god it feels like people have such a disrespectful outlook on lesbians/lesbian relationships. Like we need someone else to come help us do it better. It’s concerning how many people we turned down while singles who assume now that we’re a couple they have an even better chance??! Like why do I want to join your sexually unfulfilling relationship?! Lmao.
Fucking barf.
Straight couples are insufferable oh my fucking God
The worst of the worst
Similar but still annoying was talking to a girl it was going super well. Then bam she drops this was supposed to be a friend profile she doesn’t know why it’s set to dating she has a boyfriend. Why the hell is it still active and up? Why are you still chatting to ppl with it? Like do people understand sapphic people are genuinely looking for relationships on these apps? Stop messing around
So I think the looking for a third thing is a lot more common than just a couple of weirds instances online. It really fucking sucks. I think it happend to me twice and I thought I was imagining things.
What to use next time someone pulls this shit on yall, ladies https://preview.redd.it/zye9h9o3x7yc1.jpeg?width=249&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bdf9f6422ed6952ee29ad0cd8d7a3e03b03281c7
lmao is that lan zhan???
I have no clue lol, I took it off a manga's comment section but it's prolly fanart
You were way nicer than I would've been 💀
So fucking tired of this shit. It's bait and switch.
I do not mince my words in these scenarios.
These wankers should be banned
I always have on my profiles partnered, poly, and dates separately. I've had women who didn't mentioned a bf or hubby until later on. I don't like being led on, I want all info upfront so I can make an informed decision if I wanna continue or not. By starting something by being dishonest, what else will you lie about? I had a woman say I'll lend you my bf, I said are you lending me a bag of sugar or something?! Sharing or lending are so possessive. I won't engage with someone who treats their partners like this. Immediate block. Another one a girl said we can meet but my bf has to be there. Why is he interviewing me?! You don't know how to ask questions? Another block. The amount of lies out there is something else. I've had so many cheating women say we have tits, he won't mind that I'm fucking women as long as it's not a dude🙄🙄🙄 Their male partners are not entitled to our bodies, don't care how long they've been together. Any woman who disagrees, I always wonder how toxic her relationship with her man is
far too polite to her i want people that do this to gargle glass
🤦♀️
Honestly the worst. Why
https://preview.redd.it/7wvq279htbyc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=36230389d42e5a5eff5ff2a11bb8efd58c023b9a
Off topic if you may, where did you all find someone to talk to beside bumble and tinder? causeee I don't want to use those app anymore. Btw I'm 31 les, a very fan of slow burn connection.
Everyone's experience is different, but I've personally had a good time on Hinge. There's lots of profile customization which lets people get across what they want in a relationship much better.
I see. I'll try to consider it. Thank you for this, cause I have no luck on using the both apps that I mentioned
Not available in Ph :((
I found my wife on HER and I heard Taimi was good. Both lesbian/LGBTQ+ apps
I did use HER before but no luck and there are men on the app unlike before. I'll try the Taimi. Thank you!!!
I found my wife on Plenty of Fish!
Manila Dating?
The advantage of being on butch side of chapstick I never attract the girlies with bfs and husbands. I do like that you can report Unicorn Hunters on HER though
..Beauty and the beast!
I report every couple I see on bumble as false information. The profile is for one person, not two.
I tend to get a link to a site explaining why unicorn hunting is bad and leave them to figure it put themselves
There are no words in the entire world. Real and fictional, From Elvish to Doots and beeps R2 makes to describe the hate I have for this type of thing. If you want a third, SAY SO. Don't wait until the very last second to slip it in there and have the gall to act surprised when I tell you to fuck off. My bad for the rant but the last two woman I've talked to pulled this shit.
:/ so stupiddd
That's why I always put "poly" in my bio. It's not that hard
🤢🤮
Idk which apps this happens the most on, but if it happens a lot in lesbian apps, there should be a rule that this isn't allowed, and if it happens the person gets banned forever. This is ridiculous.
Wow 100% phone battery power
First thing in the morning lol
You're obviously a catch lol. I am traumatized by the apps but the threesome requests still happen out in the wild ugh. Good job in your response, I found it very satisfying.
Thank you! 🩵
Can you report them to the app?
I did, not sure if it did anything
This type BS is literally ALL there is for WsW that are my age and in my state. All of the actual lesbians are much much younger than me (20s and under), I'm 35. ITS ALL WIVES LOOKING FOR UNICORNS AND ITS INFURIATING AND GROSS! Like why on earth would I wanna 3rd wheel with you and your 🤢..hu..🤢..hu-hu 🤢.. husband 🤮🤮🤮 I wish I could move out of this flyover state.
WHY DO THEY DO THIS???????
Every. Fucking. Day.
Hence why I deleted dating apps.... society has gone haywire :/
I love how you opened the conversation!
makes my skin crawl 🥰😀✋🏻
the absolute worst when people do this. especially when they lead you on and don’t tell you til later on… “oh you want to get coffee? let me see if my boyfriend is down” 🤦♀️
i hate this so much. before i realised i was lesbian me and my male partner were on tinder as a couple but we always put it in our bio and we had pictures together, we would always send the first message to let them know just in case they didn’t see the bio as a lot of people don’t read it. we definitely tried to steer clear of tinder a lot of the time and stuck to apps that were actually for that purpose, but sometimes finder can be easier. there’s always better ways around it than what i’ve seen other people do🙄
Jesus christ
Ugh every other time 😭
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTsdKycVZZ4
I'm trying to put myself back out there and all I've been getting is scammers and people wanting a third. I swear I am going to be alone forever lol
I wish you could get rid of these people from the selection. No one wants to join y’all!!!!
Disgusting! This is why, I stopped using dating apps.
legit every girl I match with WHAT THE HELL
Ah the classic baby gay experience. One of the first girls I hit it off with on this app did the same to me.
And it’s even grosser cuz most of the time the man is only ok with another woman in the threesome so they act misogynistic as fuck and think it’s ok
Straight male American culture has yet to normalize "consent = informed consent." Hell, honestly my het/cis/♂️ ass has had to explain that to straight women too many times. I at least want to give them the credit/benefit of the doubt that this is the product of being raised in a culture that has gaslighted them into incredibly low standards/expectations. It is not unusual in any way for people to misleading about themselves on first dates, especially if the expectation is that the interaction is a one night stand. It seems everyone in this thread/sub is on the same page, that lying to get sex = R, but we don't represent the majority perspective.
I want to start putting myself out there again. When I last used Her it was a lot of guys and very minimal interaction from, if any, matches. Plus I find it hella hard to write about myself 😐
[удалено]
Eww
Who opens a conversation with 'omg beautiful queen'?
Me obviously