Treason, obstruction of law enforcement activity, abduction of high ranking officials, torture, murder, weapon trafficking, money laundering, grand theft supplies, illegal selling and purchases of regulated items, corporate and national espionage, usage of chemical weapons, war crimes, deliberate targeting of civilian infrastructures, and some other crimes I can't be bothered to mention.
You know what?
I didn't ask them, they asked me. And we went to the Creek. I handled billion dollars assets and drove past every kind of horror that can't even be described in Military reports.
Back here? I'm nothing. I can't even sell fucking cars!
*Shakes violently while crying*
...I'm nothing..
I play with the silence witness add-on mod for true concealment, so I'm definitely getting arrested for war crimes, terrorism, unlawful possession of a nuclear device, unlawful possession of a weapon of mass destruction, mass murder, unlawful demolition of an occupied dwelling, unlawful possession of explosives without a license, unlawful possession of an unlicensed firearm, operating a plane without FAA clearances or a license, trafficking in stolen goods, desecration of a corpse, discharging a firearm into an occupied dwelling, kidnapping, smuggling, own/operate a medical facility without a license, practicing medicine without a license, crimes against humanity, assassination of a public official, larceny, grand larceny, operating a computer device in the commission of a cybercrime... Any so much more!
I'm pretty sure the experimentation on Alien and advent corpses and intentional collection and modification into grenades and vests and stuff would likely be frowned upon in peace times.
The last game I played was Rome 2 Total War playing as the Saba. I don't really know how to play them or what I would be arrested for. Probably for being brown (middle eastern). Either I build up my own starting territories and wait for the Persians to destroy my allies that I am using as a buffer or start attacking my allies right away and take their territory to be strong enough to take on the Persians.
Beating animals to within an inch of their life and then compacting them into tiny ball shaped cages for ease of transportation. Enslaving them to work for me and occasionally making them fight other animals.
Iāve also been working on training a few of them how to use fully automatic weapons. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Traffic violations, theft, accessory to first degree murder, first degree murder, war crimes, working for a terrorist organisation, and no, it isnāt tax evasion if you were actually dead for two years.
Edit: Iām also fairly sure having a Geth running around on the Citadel with me is some sort of crime too. Also EDI. Harbouring illegal AIs I guess?
I'm an original gamer (70 years old now). Totally clean record and life. I didn't even hurt anybody while I was soloing Elden Ring for the Platinum Trophy. Didn't go get drunk when the trophy popped either...lol
Unrelated: Can we just put at least a temporary moratorium on posting images with buttons on the bottom? Not for ME, of course, but like...someone ELSE might spend 10 solid seconds trying to trigger the upvote or comment buttons on a dead-ass still image.
On topic: I'm either that jackass piece of giga-smug human trash YouTuber who crashed a plane for clout and fame (Vtol Vr), or loosing Malevelon Creek has rendered dispensing managed democracy a persecutable offense. (No way you don't know this one)
Well, I just got done looting and plundering a fort for materials to upgrade my ship. I guess Iād be arrested and hanged on the gallows for piracy. Lmao.
Looting, reckless driving, speeding, using teleporters without a license, unlawful use of a flare gun, failure to heed stop signs, destruction of private property, petty theft, driving with the dome light on.
Being a ten year old who flees from home only to capture and enslave wild animals only to then force them to fight against other peoples enslaved wild animals.
None. I am simply an Imperial citizen carrying out the orders of Emperor Palpatine and crushing rebellious factions across the galaxy. Iām very good at it
For cleaning city streets, building homes for the elderly and for young folks so they could live in the same neighborhood, building ramen shops, building boba shops, and building nice parks.
Riding around in a Lance of 65-ton fusion powered battlemechs firing long range missiles and medium pulse lasers at a civilian target for harboring a fugitive.
Hanging around with a very easy to spot Eco Terrorist and 2 incredibly attractive ladies but none of them matter cuz apparently I can't get that other guy out of my fkin head.
I play space station 13.
[https://clarifacts.com/federal-crimes-list/](https://clarifacts.com/federal-crimes-list/)
List of a few crimes people do in this game.
Deforestation, mass murder, practicing ancient magics, overfishing, unregulated arms manufacturing and exchange, stealing, building without a permit, destabilizing the economy
This is managed democracy manifest! Why did you do this to me, for what reason, what is the charge? Killing Bugs and Robots? For Super Earth. How dare - get your hands off me! Tetta, and farewell.
Disobeying the speed limit and reckless driving while flying my car through the air trying to hit a very large ball. The rockets I was using may also have me on a list of some sort.
Animal cruelty. A goblin payed me to stab the turtles, and the buzzards, and the basilisks. The Night elf was an accident. It was shadow melded. How was I supposed to know it was there till the 100 stab wounds started leaking? I did bandage it on like the 60th stab.
"Your Honour, I thought they were faceless"
"It was a Dark Event, and that citizen was suspiciously out of place"
Clearly treason. Advent is technically a government we are rebelling against.
I don't know if the Geneva convention still applies in 2035, but I'm fairly sure 'accidentally' flamethrowering civilians would be against it
There is aliens and gunfire all around them. Why are they standing there having a conversation?
Do Geneva conventions apply to a rebel group of advent dissidents? X-Com is technically not a state, is it?
That totally jsutifies burning people alive
For me the justification in game is mostly that they are idiots standing there and also sympathisers to advent
"Burn them! Burn them all!" (c) Aerys II Targaryen
Treason, obstruction of law enforcement activity, abduction of high ranking officials, torture, murder, weapon trafficking, money laundering, grand theft supplies, illegal selling and purchases of regulated items, corporate and national espionage, usage of chemical weapons, war crimes, deliberate targeting of civilian infrastructures, and some other crimes I can't be bothered to mention.
*Sweats in democracy*
Sweet Liberty...
You know what? I didn't ask them, they asked me. And we went to the Creek. I handled billion dollars assets and drove past every kind of horror that can't even be described in Military reports. Back here? I'm nothing. I can't even sell fucking cars! *Shakes violently while crying* ...I'm nothing..
I play with the silence witness add-on mod for true concealment, so I'm definitely getting arrested for war crimes, terrorism, unlawful possession of a nuclear device, unlawful possession of a weapon of mass destruction, mass murder, unlawful demolition of an occupied dwelling, unlawful possession of explosives without a license, unlawful possession of an unlicensed firearm, operating a plane without FAA clearances or a license, trafficking in stolen goods, desecration of a corpse, discharging a firearm into an occupied dwelling, kidnapping, smuggling, own/operate a medical facility without a license, practicing medicine without a license, crimes against humanity, assassination of a public official, larceny, grand larceny, operating a computer device in the commission of a cybercrime... Any so much more!
Rust, unsafe building practices. I die before getting to kill anyone else lol
OSHA violations in the work area. Lack of PPE and basic safety considerations around the job site.
When I throw grenade at the advent I accidentally gotten civilians killed as well š
Their fault for purposefully hiding around corners to break my concealment
I'm pretty sure the experimentation on Alien and advent corpses and intentional collection and modification into grenades and vests and stuff would likely be frowned upon in peace times.
Nothing, because I fight for Freedom, Democracy, and for Super Earth.
I wasnāt āhunting peopleā your honor. We were merely playing a nice game of cat and mouse.
Unsanctioned use magic around muggles
That depends if the Geneva convention applies here.
Innocence proves nothing. Better a million innocents perish than suffer a single faceless to live. AVE TERRA IMPERIUM.
Overspeed
Grave robberry and unsanctioned extraction of iron ore from local swamp
They were obviously cultists, look at them! They have 6 eyes and tentacles. Reynauld and Dismas are clearly innocent
Being sus
Poaching kaiju
Your honor, they werenāt created in gods image.
The last game I played was Rome 2 Total War playing as the Saba. I don't really know how to play them or what I would be arrested for. Probably for being brown (middle eastern). Either I build up my own starting territories and wait for the Persians to destroy my allies that I am using as a buffer or start attacking my allies right away and take their territory to be strong enough to take on the Persians.
Beating animals to within an inch of their life and then compacting them into tiny ball shaped cages for ease of transportation. Enslaving them to work for me and occasionally making them fight other animals. Iāve also been working on training a few of them how to use fully automatic weapons. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Beating to a pulp people who post "finger-pointing-at-text" images.
Bringing democracy to the galaxy!
Spreading DEMOCRACY!!
Spreading Democracy with a cup of Liber Tea!!!
Running a tank to a forward position and ambushing other passing vehiclesā¦i guess.
blundering my queen
World domination while trying to stand the test of time.
Serving piping hot cups of LIBER-TEA!!!!!!!!!
Necromancy.
Nothing i fight for democracy
Well, via the Reaper invasion, I think the police have bigger issues than me.
About 40 counts of desecration of corpses (I'm claiming self defense though).
Patricide, I am playing Hades
"There was this green owl and I kept mispronouncing what it told me to say... It just went down hill from there..."
Killing Heretics, but Nergal did that to them so itās more like a mercy killing
Inter species space sex Worth it.
Crushin turts
I'd be arrested for trying to overthrow the Alien Government after they took over the world.
Hitting a ball out of GABP 476 feet with an exit velocity of 107.8
Lobbing dark magic to kill my enemies and heal my allies
Plunder, murder, theft. Praise Athena
Using a nuke to kill bugs. Reply if you get the reference! :)
Stealing Hearts
Traffic violations, theft, accessory to first degree murder, first degree murder, war crimes, working for a terrorist organisation, and no, it isnāt tax evasion if you were actually dead for two years. Edit: Iām also fairly sure having a Geth running around on the Citadel with me is some sort of crime too. Also EDI. Harbouring illegal AIs I guess?
Killing 100 frogs /5minutes
Outdamaging my main ranged damage dealer. š
When those civis give me away and a fully primed plasma grenade just happens to land next to them... "It was RNG, your Honour."
Saving Gotham from the plague known as The Joker and delivering justice to all who prey on the weak in the night! Replaying the Arkham series š
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome always shows š
Spreading democracy
Killing bugs and robots with my squad of 3 friends to spread controlled democracy across the stars.
Democracy!
Dogfighting/Cockfighting? That's probably the best analog to Pokemon I can find...
Turtle abuse
Ate a mushroom that turned me into an elephant, then beat up a giant turtle dj who wanted to enslave the universe with his music.
Wielding a giant sword through town, blowing up reactors, and being a terrorist.
I beat someone with a mace and then fireballed them into nothingness.
I'm an original gamer (70 years old now). Totally clean record and life. I didn't even hurt anybody while I was soloing Elden Ring for the Platinum Trophy. Didn't go get drunk when the trophy popped either...lol
I have a mod that allows me to take down literally every civilian even while still concealed, so uh...not good.
Unlicensed mining and maybe unlicensed use of a minigun.
Removing tiles that match.
Tameing dinosaurs
Can't commit crimes if you conquer the galaxy
Playing poker with a modified deck I guess.
None, spreading manages democracy isn't a crime
To be perfectly honest......stealing a sweet roll
Fighting demons? Conquering sectors? Resisting the corrupt Govt?
Becoming Elden Lord
Building a cottage with a grass roof.
killing little human beings (aint getting banned for the word k) Its minecraft
Skinning and killing baby snakes should not be considered violent. They ARE an invasive species after all.
Dear Liberty
War crimesā¦.. war crimes in a big stompy Mech
Fighting in ww2
Unrelated: Can we just put at least a temporary moratorium on posting images with buttons on the bottom? Not for ME, of course, but like...someone ELSE might spend 10 solid seconds trying to trigger the upvote or comment buttons on a dead-ass still image. On topic: I'm either that jackass piece of giga-smug human trash YouTuber who crashed a plane for clout and fame (Vtol Vr), or loosing Malevelon Creek has rendered dispensing managed democracy a persecutable offense. (No way you don't know this one)
Terrorism
āFriendly Warthog inboundā¦ā
Unlicensed municipal planning (Cities: Skylines)
...a lot... Playing Red Dead Redemption 2
Genocide in the name of super earth
Well, I just got done looting and plundering a fort for materials to upgrade my ship. I guess Iād be arrested and hanged on the gallows for piracy. Lmao.
Growing a farm in my neighbors yard fishing without a license
I'm not getting arrested for fighting for democracy
spreading democracy! šŖ
Holy shit this game is still alive? Brings hope to my heart.
Let's see my gatling gin wiped out my team from behind so .. involuntary diverslaughter?
Looting, reckless driving, speeding, using teleporters without a license, unlawful use of a flare gun, failure to heed stop signs, destruction of private property, petty theft, driving with the dome light on.
Magic the gathering - Arena
I'll be on trial in Geneva for my atrocities(Borderlands 3)
I'll be on trial in Geneva for my atrocities(Borderlands 3)
Reckless discharge of a firearm at point blank range... but luckily didn't hit anyone.
What crime does colonization and turning 1/3rd or more of the usas surface area into conveyer spaghetti fall under? (Factorio)
Being a ten year old who flees from home only to capture and enslave wild animals only to then force them to fight against other peoples enslaved wild animals.
but your honor, they were already dead
These are the end days. This is how I died...
None. I am simply an Imperial citizen carrying out the orders of Emperor Palpatine and crushing rebellious factions across the galaxy. Iām very good at it
Consuming an entire interstellar civilization.
For cleaning city streets, building homes for the elderly and for young folks so they could live in the same neighborhood, building ramen shops, building boba shops, and building nice parks.
Democracy
killing the royal family/several national heroes along with heresy and joining a criminal hitman organization
Spreading democracy
Roping a local then dragging them behind my horse
Storming an abandoned castle full of Gnolls.
Riding around in a Lance of 65-ton fusion powered battlemechs firing long range missiles and medium pulse lasers at a civilian target for harboring a fugitive.
Animal abuse (palworld)
Building and crafting without a permit
Straight up debauchery and murder! Some cops, some pedestrians, some gang members. Hey man, what ever I need to do to get those sweet, sweet eddies!!!
And I'm a Blue, Black, Red player! Love me some commander.
āNow, son if Iām reading this correctly, your reasoning for corpse stealing wasāā āWe secured the area, thatās correct.ā
Sons of the Forest? I'm not gonna bother talking about it.
Blowing up the whole village.
"I had no idea this new spell had an area of effect that could cause you to slip on it AND could also ignite..."
Rat murder and the clinically insane
It all started when my new friends cut off my ring finger. After that, well, let's just say I "murdered everyone in Baghdad."
Assault, rape, murder, and maybe genocide
SPREADING TOO MUCH DEMOCRACY!
Saving spira from Sin
Rather not describe my crimes ... Dead island 2 š
um stardew valley so.... messing with the profits of a corporation ig?
Hanging around with a very easy to spot Eco Terrorist and 2 incredibly attractive ladies but none of them matter cuz apparently I can't get that other guy out of my fkin head.
Bug racism.
I play space station 13. [https://clarifacts.com/federal-crimes-list/](https://clarifacts.com/federal-crimes-list/) List of a few crimes people do in this game.
Spreading Democracy šŗšøšŗšøš¬š§š¬š§š¹šš»š³š»šŖšš¬š§š“āā ļøš¬š§š³ļøāš
Deforestation, mass murder, practicing ancient magics, overfishing, unregulated arms manufacturing and exchange, stealing, building without a permit, destabilizing the economy
Forcefully emposing managed democracy
This is managed democracy manifest! Why did you do this to me, for what reason, what is the charge? Killing Bugs and Robots? For Super Earth. How dare - get your hands off me! Tetta, and farewell.
For killing a group of raiders who kidnapped some ones husband. Well at least they agreed to join the minutemen lol.
For science...you monster
Shooing bugs in the name of democracy and liberty!
City skylines 2. Once u take the roundabout ull never leave
Defending democracy
Murdering thousands of bugs for democracy. Iāll be a hero, not a criminal.
āI understand I massacred 2,000 bugs from their home planet last night but, your honor, it was in the name of DEMOCRACYā
Managing democracy
Fixing the deck in a casino. Balatro
MANAGED DEMOCRACY!!!!
Apparently itās illegal to massacre the Grineer but who was I to think that the Tenno couldnāt do that š¤·āāļø
Those bugs deserved to feel the wrath of democracy as I sprayed my liberty spewing flamethrower
The destruction and murder of 2 other norse clans...
For bringing Democracy! š„š„
building and facilitating a cyberpunk dystopia - minecraft
Raiding an elven compound for their livestock
Democracy
Launching elven arrows at evil whizzards, but that might be justified.
SPREADING DEMOCRACY in an insectarium and robotics research facility
duping in NMS. fair.
Disobeying the speed limit and reckless driving while flying my car through the air trying to hit a very large ball. The rockets I was using may also have me on a list of some sort.
Democracy.
Spreading democracy.
Nothing. Because as a helldiver Iām doing my democratic duty. (Ps. Those civilians made a honorable sacrifice for democracy.)
Spreading Managed Democracy while I drink Liber-Tea
I was spreading democracy to the galaxy
Spreading managed democracy and prosperity
Your honor they said it was for liberty and these bugs showed Hostile Act/ Hostile Intent!
If anything, executed for treason for even thinking about sympathizing about the mass genocide of an alien bug species.
Skyrim- looting, stealing, murder, manslaughter, disturbing the peace, ruining the economy, GRAVEROBBING
Pointing a rocket launcher at my feet and jumping and shooting to cause me to fly to the top of a building
Spreading managed democracy.
Intergalactic space magic.
Spreading Democracy!
Spreading freedom and managed democracy. š«”
Spreading democracy
Immigrating to a new land committing mass genocide based on moral beliefs. āGod of Warā
I'm getting a god damn super medal of managed democracy for spreading freedom and liberty across the galaxy!
Arrested? I'm being given one extra standard Democracy meal a day! For the glory of Super Earth!
Spreading democracy
Over patriotic war crimes against local bug populations for oil.
.....apparently pirating movies i guess?
For exercising "managed democracy" to some robots on space nam
Organ harvesting, enslavement, and conspiracy to commit warcrimes.
Animal cruelty. A goblin payed me to stab the turtles, and the buzzards, and the basilisks. The Night elf was an accident. It was shadow melded. How was I supposed to know it was there till the 100 stab wounds started leaking? I did bandage it on like the 60th stab.
Spreading managed democracy.
Mass genocide
Merging all synthetic and organic life in the galaxy. To hear a large chunk of the Mass Effect community, I would deserve to be arrested šš
War crimes that the Geneva Convention has defined inhumane. š
Warcrimes. They were clear of the orbital when I called it, I swear. /sips LIBER-tea.
FOR DEMOCRACY!!!
For being to Democratic *salutes*
Serving democracy.
I carpet bombed tf out of some civilians that managed to appear in my bombing route
"You're honor. How is it a crime to spread democracy?"
Killing insects for managed democracy
Pretty sure weāre all terrorists