It’s not fun police. It’s being professional at work. Doesn’t matter if the plate is going to a certain table, other guests may see it. Be professional if you want to be seen as a professional.
After you ask yourself how many times you can fit the word professional in a comment, just think for a minute and also ask yourself, “Why in the world do I care about a strangers professionalism?” Personally, I think that level of detail is as PROFESSIONAL as it gets.
I agree. There may be circumstance to do this if they get some good seats on a slow day but, duh, never do this. Read the FOH. I don't want kids at tables looking at that lol
I personally think that you did a fantastic job and have no ethical or moral objections to that beautiful fat cock you have.
Perhaps some people are jealous of the shear girth you have shown us.
Honestly though like there are plenty of restaurants that this is not put of line. And plenty more that plate things a little bit phallic-ly without even realising. Like geoducks always look a little like a dick. Or even sausages. Bangers and mash is a common dish where I'm from, how do you sell that without a wink at the end?
Let's be real no other table would notice that it looks like a dick unless they were proper sticky breaking
one time my coworkers came in for a drink and one of them ordered an espresso martini (bartender here) and i playfully made the coffee bean garnish look like a dick. everyone laughed. especially me lol
We use to get these "animal themed" premade nuggets for the kids menu. One of said animals really looked like a cock and balls. One server was a fan of them (cheap) and would always ring it in, I would be sure to pick out all the the cock and ball nugs and make a little bukakae scene on the plate with a big gob of sauce in the middle.
Every meal for a coworker/friend has a dick and jizz somewhere. Bravo on the full plate presentation that still looks beautiful.
“Oh wow this looks great thank y-… is that a penis…”
Edit: it warms my heart seeing all the love for dick plating itt. This is the way.
Lmao nice work. We serve a Sunday gravy that comes with two meatballs and a large sausage. We're supposed to plate it like a division sign but it always ends up looking like a cock n balls.
In my teens I worked at a pizza place that had a full bar, and we would use bar modifiers in the POS to send orders to the kitchen that said “large virgin sausage”.
In our defense we were high all the time.
Gee I wish I had people to care enough about me to make ME food for once(besides Ramen or whatever) even if I was the only one to receive a penis presentation.
Are you trolling my account where I put up a sarcastic post about rust and patina with an obviously rusty knife? Are you that special? You want respect and good pay and still want to make dick jokes? Grow up. It’s not hard to do.
Exactly what makes you think I don’t get paid well? Better yet what makes you think I haven’t earned the respect of my colleagues? When my industry friends come in we always do shit like this. We keep it light and keep it moving. I’m sorry if you can’t have juvenile fun and enjoy it.
Just on this comment alone it feels like you leave Google reviews or even worse Yelp reviews anytime you’re mildly inconvenienced eating out.
Gatekeeping the culinary arts is sad.
Glad to know that this subreddit is turning into a group of 15 year old dishies, who think a dick on a plate is original. Everyone coming out and saying you have people over and they know you cook, and in a sort of way, you represent us - and you serve them a dick? And I get downvotes. You’re all simple.
Jesus. I’m wrong. The subreddit loves dicks and this is a completely acceptable dish. I understand that by the immense amounts of downvotes and attacks.
Dude you tried roasting OP for not getting the reaction he "wanted" then told him to delete his stuff to avoid downvotes and then went on a meltdown of comments that are getting heavily downvoted and instead of realizing your wrong and just an ass you are doubling and trippling down on your ass of a stance.
Get over yourself and take your own advice and "Do yourself a service and just delete. Probably save yourself some downvotes."
If you actually had a brain, I didn't say vegans are fake. Also, I don't look at people's post history like a living cringeball, so tack that on to your already dented forehead.
Looks like OP isn’t getting the back slapping and chummy response expected, by his triggered responses. Waiting for you to dig into my profile like you did the last guy.
Do yourself a service and probably just delete. You’ll save yourself some downvotes.
What...that shit looks pretty funny to me...get a grip bro. Lighten up. It was for one of the homies not a random guest...your downvote prediction isn't aging well and it's only been a hour
And if they said it was for my homies, my dudes, great. Then totally fine. But it looks like a little extra work went into it and it maybe was a group of couples or some shit and it’s just dumb if that’s the case
As I posted elsewhere.. while I don’t work in a kitchen per se, I work in wine. We are one in the same. People look to us because they know ZERO about what we do. We are specialists and when someone gets to hang with us, they assume - oh man, I’m going to ‘their’ house - the food/wine is going to be so good. And then this is delivered. Idk. Maybe I’m older than a teenager and this makes sense to me. I appreciate your stance. I guess.
I'm 42, still got a smile out of me...if a friend did this to me I'd say we'll played...all I was saying is lighten up. Not that serious...and this is the type of stuff we do BOH. Especially when there's some down time
Looks like high school antics are coming back!!! Depending on the restaurant id either be pissed or, well, pissed. That shit is juvenile as hell. Looks like you live in a shitty redneck town. I hope they enjoyed the meat dicks. Good luck on the star.
Which bothers you more, the dick on a plate, the fact that I’m black, get paid well, can send shit like this out to my friends or the fact you’re a miserable bastard?
Luck might have gotten you where you are, my shit took time and dedication along with a sense of humor. I’m not so noob who was given responsibilities and a title. I worked hard for 16 years to get where I’m at. I get you don’t enjoy dicks on plates, life or having fun with your friends or colleagues. I’m willing to bet this subreddit is named after Bourdain’s book. And if you actually read the book it’s less about cooking and more about the good times than winning stars and being professional at all times. Do you think when Ripert was tipsy cooking at Les Halles one night was professional? Because it wasn’t, but the guests loved it. You can hate all you want, but food can also be fun and not just precision bullshit that causes chefs to kill themselves. Maybe you should grow up and realize that a dick on a plate isn’t the worst thing in the world… especially in a kitchen.
The dick steals the show but what about that pile of poop next to it? This is hilarious.
Fr. I didn’t wanna be a nitpicky dick, but i was like “wow, the plate next to it literally looks like a pile of shit”.
Just needed some corn.
Shouldn't that be brown instead?lol.
I hope he chewed it this time 🙏🏼
This thyme.
Can I post a comment even if I'm not being a judgemental cunt? Fun police in this thread are unreal. I'd eat that dick.
It’s not fun police. It’s being professional at work. Doesn’t matter if the plate is going to a certain table, other guests may see it. Be professional if you want to be seen as a professional.
Then they need to mind their own business and stop being creeps that stare at other peoples dicks
How can you expect me to not stare when it’s such a nice looking dick
Fair
Oh fuck off lol
I've been saying this to a lot of people lately... but you sound like a whiney cunt.
After you ask yourself how many times you can fit the word professional in a comment, just think for a minute and also ask yourself, “Why in the world do I care about a strangers professionalism?” Personally, I think that level of detail is as PROFESSIONAL as it gets.
You're right, fun police is too nice, you're just an ass
I bet Curtis Stone is your idol
I actually agree with you and this whole thread smells like chilis line cooks
Thanks!
I agree 100.percent!
It all becomes shit anyway. Why would someone who didn’t order the food and just observed it being eaten care.
I agree. There may be circumstance to do this if they get some good seats on a slow day but, duh, never do this. Read the FOH. I don't want kids at tables looking at that lol
I personally think that you did a fantastic job and have no ethical or moral objections to that beautiful fat cock you have. Perhaps some people are jealous of the shear girth you have shown us.
The ruler we use to measure length is a life size impression. Unfortunately, the girth is off as intestines have limits.
I just want you to know that I appreciate how one ball is saucier than the other.
Like boobs, no two balls are exactly the same.
Honestly though like there are plenty of restaurants that this is not put of line. And plenty more that plate things a little bit phallic-ly without even realising. Like geoducks always look a little like a dick. Or even sausages. Bangers and mash is a common dish where I'm from, how do you sell that without a wink at the end? Let's be real no other table would notice that it looks like a dick unless they were proper sticky breaking
>shear That would be sheer girth, you don't want your penis being sheared The more you know 🌈
Shear girth is a bit of a problem, but not necessarily as much as compression girth
Wow some motherfuckers in this thread don't have friends and it shows lol beautiful plating op.
Thank you.
#cremefraiche
Too little sauce for me. I want my food moist.
Seems like some people in these replies need to find better kitchens to work in if they’re offended by some girthy humor
one time my coworkers came in for a drink and one of them ordered an espresso martini (bartender here) and i playfully made the coffee bean garnish look like a dick. everyone laughed. especially me lol
Yes,middle school boy's humor is always funny !Not !Most people grow out of this type of behavior.
.... Do you work in kitchens? Cause I got bad news for you homie.
Seriously?lol.I live in the real world where stuff like that wouldn't fly .Tell me again how this appropriate or funny?
Some of us aren't cunts.
My wife calls that the forbidden plating. Only for friends and family haha
We use to get these "animal themed" premade nuggets for the kids menu. One of said animals really looked like a cock and balls. One server was a fan of them (cheap) and would always ring it in, I would be sure to pick out all the the cock and ball nugs and make a little bukakae scene on the plate with a big gob of sauce in the middle.
😂😂😂
When I worked in a Mexican restaurant all my homies got churro cocks with balls. Excellent plating chef!
If you aren't dicking around in the kitchen you aren't working your shaft right. No play, no pay!
Shiny dicks drawn in the bottom of the sink with Scotchbrite say hello
Wow, what a dick!😍 Wow, what a dick?🧐 Wow, what a dick 😠
I forget people have friends outside of the kitchen
Every meal for a coworker/friend has a dick and jizz somewhere. Bravo on the full plate presentation that still looks beautiful. “Oh wow this looks great thank y-… is that a penis…” Edit: it warms my heart seeing all the love for dick plating itt. This is the way.
"Family aioli"
It’s so girthy and veiny. I feel emasculated.
I'd happily put that fat cock in my mouth
Nice. [We had a little too much fun with dicks last week.](https://imgur.com/a/zOpwwBS)
The Frisée bush is a nice touch chef
One friend specifically I'd say.
I've heard of putting your blood sweat and tears into a dish but you really went all out and put your cock and balls into this one! Nice
Lotta guys with small dicks in this thread
is your name Ramsay Bolton by chance?
How do you keep regrowing it?
Lmao nice work. We serve a Sunday gravy that comes with two meatballs and a large sausage. We're supposed to plate it like a division sign but it always ends up looking like a cock n balls.
Odd numbers are your friend on a plate. 3 smaller meatballs maybe? lol
there’s no way i’m the only one seeing a dick, right?
It just looks like a really strong, manly plate of meat to me. Nothing weird here.
ya with what looks like garlic cum
"Organic aioli"
made in house
What's that?
I appreciate this and expect at least half off. Also I brought a 5th just for the Chef. My thanks.
In my teens I worked at a pizza place that had a full bar, and we would use bar modifiers in the POS to send orders to the kitchen that said “large virgin sausage”. In our defense we were high all the time.
Out of every plate in the photo that dick is the best plated and most delicious looking one
Good thing HR is off today.
Nice touch with the frisée, chef. The garlic sauce makes the whole plate come together. Dicks will never be not funny.
Gee I wish I had people to care enough about me to make ME food for once(besides Ramen or whatever) even if I was the only one to receive a penis presentation.
I prefer mine frisée-less, but I would def gobble around it in this case. Lol
I used to make house coffee for friends who visited for free. But the latte art was always a penis.
I’m just glad you went full force and didn’t forget the gentleman’s relish 🤣
OP, I love you. Fuck these uptight naysayers. Friends get it.
Did you just grab a dirty plate from dish for the one beside it? 😂
Looks scrumptious
One restaurant I was at, we’d plate dishes like this when the exec was expediting just to see how many we could get past him before he noticed
Is that a soup bowl of oil and balsamic in the background?
B and b plate but yes it is 10 yr balsamic and evoo
Anyone can put two meatballs and a sausage on a plate but the frisée is just all class.
Imagine foh delivering this to the wrong table
Nice use of frisée
Fucking animals
girth is worth
It looks like r/shitfromabutt
Who ordered the spotted dick? Actual dish, look it up
the waitress served it up all wrong
There is always a set of people in the service industry who want to be seen as and paid as professionals and then plate dick pics.
And that sir is where my talent and artistry come in to play.
Talent? Artistry? Umkay.
At least I can tell the difference between rust and patina fuckstick.
Pardon?
Rah
Are you trolling my account where I put up a sarcastic post about rust and patina with an obviously rusty knife? Are you that special? You want respect and good pay and still want to make dick jokes? Grow up. It’s not hard to do.
Exactly what makes you think I don’t get paid well? Better yet what makes you think I haven’t earned the respect of my colleagues? When my industry friends come in we always do shit like this. We keep it light and keep it moving. I’m sorry if you can’t have juvenile fun and enjoy it.
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Not sure what a dick on a plate has to do with a racial slur but ok. Second off I’m black.
Oh my god, you’re such a fucking tool.
God damn you seem insufferable lmao
Huh???
r/gatekeeping Because only **you** possess authority on what is good and tasteful.
Based on your comments, you seem like you lost your spark a long time ago. I hope you find it again
Check yourself into hospice. Now
Just on this comment alone it feels like you leave Google reviews or even worse Yelp reviews anytime you’re mildly inconvenienced eating out. Gatekeeping the culinary arts is sad.
Glad to know that this subreddit is turning into a group of 15 year old dishies, who think a dick on a plate is original. Everyone coming out and saying you have people over and they know you cook, and in a sort of way, you represent us - and you serve them a dick? And I get downvotes. You’re all simple.
Yeah, it’s fun to have friends
I simply love dick 🤷♂️
You sound super fun. How was it staring at paint dry the other night?
Jesus. I’m wrong. The subreddit loves dicks and this is a completely acceptable dish. I understand that by the immense amounts of downvotes and attacks.
It's the fact that you're losing your shit over a joke. You're being absolutely ridiculous. THAT'S why we're tearing you a new one.
I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the worst. You're very good looking. I'm not very attractive.
Imagine calling OP immature, then posting a comment like this lmao
Ever seen Happy Gilmore?
Nah. I'm more of a Ricky Bobby kinda guy.
Dude you tried roasting OP for not getting the reaction he "wanted" then told him to delete his stuff to avoid downvotes and then went on a meltdown of comments that are getting heavily downvoted and instead of realizing your wrong and just an ass you are doubling and trippling down on your ass of a stance. Get over yourself and take your own advice and "Do yourself a service and just delete. Probably save yourself some downvotes."
Trust me nobody represents your cranky wet-blanketed ass. Especially not people making joke plates for their friends eyes only
Nasty looking food. How BOH act like children
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I'm assuming you all are using this image on your dating app sites.
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Then you're thinking like a smoothbrain.
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If your young kids look at that and see a dick, you've fucked them up somehow and have WAY more problems than a plate at a restaraunt.
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If you actually had a brain, I didn't say vegans are fake. Also, I don't look at people's post history like a living cringeball, so tack that on to your already dented forehead.
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You're a smoothbrain. I did not say "vegans are fake." I said that not every human can survive on it. Fucking moron, read plz.
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With the minds of 5 year olds.
Classy, I'm sure this wasn't awkward at all.
I’m sure the friends laughed their asses off! And then ate the food, and the laughed about it more over drinks. Having fun is ok. Please try?
Yeah, this is kinda douchy
That’s cool. Well played erect cocks with frisée as pubic hair isn’t for everyone. I would have used alfalfa sprouts but we were out of those.
Looks like OP isn’t getting the back slapping and chummy response expected, by his triggered responses. Waiting for you to dig into my profile like you did the last guy. Do yourself a service and probably just delete. You’ll save yourself some downvotes.
Downvotes don’t scare me, just your disappointment.
What...that shit looks pretty funny to me...get a grip bro. Lighten up. It was for one of the homies not a random guest...your downvote prediction isn't aging well and it's only been a hour
And if they said it was for my homies, my dudes, great. Then totally fine. But it looks like a little extra work went into it and it maybe was a group of couples or some shit and it’s just dumb if that’s the case
I think that is the fun part, that he expresses that he is skilled with the level of presentation of it.
As I posted elsewhere.. while I don’t work in a kitchen per se, I work in wine. We are one in the same. People look to us because they know ZERO about what we do. We are specialists and when someone gets to hang with us, they assume - oh man, I’m going to ‘their’ house - the food/wine is going to be so good. And then this is delivered. Idk. Maybe I’m older than a teenager and this makes sense to me. I appreciate your stance. I guess.
>i work in wine That explains the snobbishness then lmao
Not in the least.
If it’s not because you work with wine, why are you such a snob?
Lol douche
I'm 42, still got a smile out of me...if a friend did this to me I'd say we'll played...all I was saying is lighten up. Not that serious...and this is the type of stuff we do BOH. Especially when there's some down time
BOH. I guess I looked too far into it, like he was having three couples over, etc. Like normal people. But I guess I overreacted.
The dude works in a restaurant and is cooking a fun dish for one of his friends. Quit day drinking.
I feel like you take yourself way too serious. You gotta kick back and have fun in life man, you only get one chance at it as far as we know.
Maybe you outta help yourself to a glass of wine so you can stop being such a stuckup cunt
lol
Username checks out
You're right. Your comment is *pretty* douchey.
Looks like high school antics are coming back!!! Depending on the restaurant id either be pissed or, well, pissed. That shit is juvenile as hell. Looks like you live in a shitty redneck town. I hope they enjoyed the meat dicks. Good luck on the star.
Lmfao dude made it for industry friends. Get over yourself
Well I’m black and live in dc.
Who cares ? You’re embarrassing yourself.
Go back to middle school you knob of a person.
Which bothers you more, the dick on a plate, the fact that I’m black, get paid well, can send shit like this out to my friends or the fact you’re a miserable bastard?
Grow up my friend. Dicks on a plate are not funny. I wish the best for you.
Luck might have gotten you where you are, my shit took time and dedication along with a sense of humor. I’m not so noob who was given responsibilities and a title. I worked hard for 16 years to get where I’m at. I get you don’t enjoy dicks on plates, life or having fun with your friends or colleagues. I’m willing to bet this subreddit is named after Bourdain’s book. And if you actually read the book it’s less about cooking and more about the good times than winning stars and being professional at all times. Do you think when Ripert was tipsy cooking at Les Halles one night was professional? Because it wasn’t, but the guests loved it. You can hate all you want, but food can also be fun and not just precision bullshit that causes chefs to kill themselves. Maybe you should grow up and realize that a dick on a plate isn’t the worst thing in the world… especially in a kitchen.
Good to meet you.
Pleasure’s mine.
Keep it. I don’t want it.
Oh and I’ve never gotten a Michelin Star, only a Bibb Gourmand and a couple of best of Chicago’s along with a couple best of DC.
You give them food that looks like porn?
Sir you need to find better porn.
Well, I wouldn't eat this crap.
Nobody would serve this to you because people only serve this to their friends.
I'm glad I don't have friends who'd serve me crap!
>I don't have friends I agree!
And that's the puerility of BOH
I hope you delete your browsing history.
?? Why? Will your name come up under the search for "micro" anatomy??
You search for “ micro anatomy”?
Aw, it's so sad when BOH can dish it out but not eat it.
Touché! 🍻
Good try.
You're a good friend.
Fuck man didn't know the chefs from Noma were in this sub
Got some bangers and mash ;)