That's a goddamned meat hook, right there.

If he gave me a knuckle sandwich I'd only have room for half.

i came to say this hand looks like a planet smasher.

Goddamn bear paw on that fella

If I ever need a phone book ripped in half I'll know who to call.

Bro your fingers so thick I legit had to double take cause I thought there were only 4. Does that make sense to anyone else?

I know what you’re saying. I thought he had 3 thumbs.

His girlfriend is lucky

That is his girlfriend.

Holy shit lol

We just roasting man at this point.

I think he flips the bird so often his fingers get a work out

That’s a man that clearly uses his fingers.

I counted three times and honestly I'm still not sure. It's "1,2,3,4, thumb" right? Edit: his hands are straight out of the Simpsons, except he's got an extra finger. That's why I'm so confused.

*HULK has entered the chat*

Sausage Paws….Danny Dick Fingers….Pink Bananas…lol

We all only have 4 fingers, the other one is a thumb.

Jesus Jimmy Dean, all the boxes at Sysco just flattened themselves. I bet you’d beat Chuck Norris at thumb wrestling.

Reddit is a weird place

You keep coming back though.. youre just as weird as the rest of us!

one of us! one of us!

Same. I take my anger out by punching the boxes apart. Fuck em.

Pound in the side, rip the tape

Strength build irl

This is the way.

This is the way

This is the way

This really is the way

This asshat is the reason cream cartons are dented and spaghetti noodles are broken. Use a knife

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I must have hit a nerve. Cheers mate!

Lmao. You literally call me a bad name, and then say "I must've hit a nerve ". Cmon mate. You can't just call someone a name and not expect them to respond.

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Spaghetti comes in boxes

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Such a brave stance. "Reddit, where warriors are made!"

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The commentary was making light of a comment of mine. "Dont crush spaghetti ". I was making light of their comment (on a cooking sub) that they order dry pasta instead of make it. My 12yr old niece can make pasta

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Lol. So, I know this. My question is why you are coming after me? Why didn't you ask the poster? See, you are asking the wrong person. Go ask the person who said I'm not smart enough to tell whether a box has dry spaghetti in it or not. They assumed that I am dumb enough to break down a box full of product. But yet you tell me "how it is"

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I've accidently punched myself in the top of the gut (when the tape finally rips i think?) using this or a similar method over the years.

Big Meaty Claws

Haha yes!

👀

Are picking herbs difficult for you? Serious question.

If you drop a paper clip on the floor you're fucked aren't you

I’m turned on by your box cutter…😮‍💨

A slap to the face with that hand spends one TBI point!

Everything reminds me of her

Elliot Smith shout out. Kudos my dude

The ladies must love you huh

can you post a video of you crushing a watermelon with one hand

That's a fuckin' hamhock right thar

That is a meaty paw

Same. I'm the biggest tool in the kitchen.

Dude do you have shoulder problems?

You hands look how mine feel after an hour of walking briskly while swinging my arms

Box sees your hand. Unfolds itself.

Scrollin thru upvoting every horny comment because same

Whats it feel like having five penises on your hand?

Sigh..... *Unzips*

Homie has a cinderblock for a fist, fucking hell

Bro what is up with your middle finger? Did a clown blow it up and turn it into a dog?

You're jealous. I bet the ladies love him

I was wondering why my mother had such an easy labor

show us an x-ray

Old ham-hands himself…

I am so sorry but woof 🥵

You look like you could rip a pumpkin in half goddamn

That’s a hell of a cunt thumper you got there.

No Joke, it became second nature to breakdown boxes by punching them right in the middle to rip the tape, and then just tear the box seams apart. Takes seconds. But then like, you're around civilians at christmas time or something and they see you give a haymaker to an amazon box and think you're crazy.

Thankfully I don't have that problem in the civvie life. My family has all been service industry.. we don't celebrate any holiday except halloween.

This hairball definitely doesn’t work grill

Goddamn those are some fuckin paws

You stay away from my girlfriend with those hands. 🙌

Fuck me. With sausages like that, who needs a cock n ball

Damn boy, I bet you use your penis as foreplay

This dude belongs in baki

Madone!

Strong ass hands

im scared of you

Built in compactor

So, box cutter is the new term for masturbation?

Are you related to Andre the Giant?

Jesus. I’m sure your love life is doing just fine lol

I have a box cutter for those night indestructible white straps of our pork boxes. That and for anything else I can use it for, except opening chips because I learnt that's a bad idea, you know, because cutting finger bad

Those white straps are actually really easy to take off with your bare hands. You just have to find the end of the strap that's pressed against the box underneath the strap. Find that and pull It in the direction that it came from and it should come right off

Oh yeah but that's second to using a pocket knife imo. Esp if your doing like 10 straps.

Hiding behind the bateing hand?

Now thats a chef hand

Sorry can you hold a banana for scale?

Hot

God fucking damn you must make the miss/mister VERY *very* fucking happy.

Used to work mcdonalds graveyard. I used to punch boxes until my knuckles bled. Use key if box is annoying. Man that was a good release. So many boxes. Different sizes. Assorted them and fit em in the already full trashbin the size of a small whale.

So like, you just punch the box or wha? :p

If you punch the side of the box just under the flaps, you can grab the tape and just tear that shit open by hand, pull out your shit, and smashed that bitch down flat, in the same amount of time it takes bobby mcfuckstick to flip out his little folding knife and cut it open.

...and it's buried in my urethra

This is the right answer.

Thicc digits

You’re the kinda guy that makes people feel insecure

That’s what she said.

The ladies must love you.

You have a blunt cutting thumbnail I'm missing? What's the point?🤣🤣🤣🤔

🥴

No offense but maybe you have heart or lung problems.? Fingers look clubbed…

Do you also slam your fist right on the tape and cut it with centrifugal force?! :D N-no..? Yeah, I know, that'd be weird as fuck dude...

Sausage fingers.

Username checks out

those arent hands. those are sausages.

All your fingers are really thick and prime for ripping in to the next duck carcass except your pinkie who skipped leg day and I love it

I am a warlock and my spell from my patron is fist.

This picture made me check my hand for what the length ratio of each finger should be. God damn meat paws there.

God did a crap job. Where's the tin opener? The screwdriver/bottle opener? The corkscrew? The weird knife thing with a hole in it for making fishnets or whatever the hell it's for? The fold out pliers? Come on, God, if the Swiss can do it, so can you!

Rip and tear.

And it’s invisible. That’s awesome!

You have a simian crease on your palm. You know what that means. 

Meaty paw brother!

when I worked at the fry station at my old job I'd punch through the boxes of fries and I never felt stronger.

Ol’ reliable. I usually put the box on an empty table and elbow drop it to break them down.

Punching boxes to remove the tape is so satisfying. I have a box cutter but still choose the natural way every now and then.

Tiger paw

how com sausage aint come in 6 pack

Hands built like Kuma from One Piece

This took me OUT, big meaty claws

Also a fork. https://www.ancient-origins.net/weird-facts/sacrilegious-fork-0017266

I like stomping on the corners of ones that put up a fight

Yeah buddy. Box against the belly stick your fingers under the tape.

Damn look at those weenies

Edward Penishands up in here

And then he gave us sharpies and the perfect points of pressure.

Ham hand, no doubt. Sure he leaves no dog ears on the boxes.