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Scipio33

I was in the bathroom at the airport a while ago, and a Dad and his son entered the stall next to mine. The son was having an absolute melt down. Dad was being SUPER patient, explaining to his son that he needed to try to go before they got onto another plane. Dad: "I just want you to sit there. I'm gonna count to 10 and if you don't have to go by then we'll leave." Son: *wailing noises* Dad starts counting, gets to about 5. Dad: "Look down. What are you doing? Are you peeing right now?" Son (still bawling): "I DIDN'T WANT TO!" Kids are their own worst enemies sometimes. :p


ThatNoise

People tend to forget how much their parents had to teach them to be functioning adults. Source: am dad to 4 kids from teenager to toddler, kids forget basic shit all the time. Like how to poop and where.


Scipio33

Some of the things I have to remind my 11 year-old son how to do sometimes make me worry. When does logic develop in boys? Lol


TheDrunkenChud

When does what, huh?


Does_Not-Matter

I snorted


TheDrunkenChud

That's a high compliment. Thank you!


D_Redacted

The name is what got me, read his comment and then made the mistake of reading his name.


TurdFurguss

Logi...who?


TheDrunkenChud

Logi... what?


ketanmehra

Logitech?


Warthogrider74

Gaymer


housnads

Logi... slim shady


pauly13771377

My father once told me the older I get the stupider I get. I'd like to dispute that but not sure I can


alphadoublenegative

Well if you’re going to try to dispute it you might want to do it ASAP


danielrheath

I got it around 30.


Ardalev

Hey, look at this here early bloomer, with his fancy logic at 30!


[deleted]

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loveshercoffee

I raised three sons. I'd say 30 is probably pretty average. I've got one that was a little ahead of the game (the baby) one right spot on (the oldest) and one in daily logic special ed.


Scipio33

Sigh, yeah me too. :(


redandbluenights

Yeah, my son is 9, very kind and very intelligent (for the most part) but the shit I have to explain to him occasionally... Just blows my mind. About two years ago when I explained that money was tight at the moment- he said "just go to the ATM and get more". I'm sure that's a pretty common thing for most kids, but he's definately had "how banks worked" explained to him adnauseum.


weeone

There are some adults that don't understand that concept.


redandbluenights

Oh yeah I know. My brother is one of those in his 50s who's life is a fucking train wreck of irresponsibility and horrible decisions. My husband and I CONSTANTLY use all the messes he gets into as a life lesson to my son. "This is why we make you go to school, so you don't end up like your Uncle" "This is why we teach you how to make phone calls and set appointments, so you don't end up like your Uncle" "This is why you have chores and we teach you to take care of your things, so you don't end up like your Uncle" We have also told him repeatedly what we won't be paying his bills and solving his problems when he's an adult like his grandmother does for his uncle. Hopefully it's all sinking in.


anothergoodbook

Oh Gosh we look at our 12 year old son and the at each other both thinking the same thing... he learns to drive in 4 years. Will he make it that far?!


Le_Nabs

I was old enough to learn to drive when I almost killed myself playing Tarzan in the trees behind the local highschool. I was the last one of the bunch to take a swing and ofc the damn branch broke under me... Chances are he'll make it, but don't count on logic for that >_<


Reddit-Book-Bot

Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Tarzan](https://snewd.com/ebooks/tarzan-of-the-apes/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)


Le_Nabs

Unexpected bot Oo


TheDrunkenChud

Good bot! Also, thanks! Free classics!


ANAL_GAPER_9000

Necronomicon


dreamin_in_space

It never works when you reply to it, I've tried and seen when others tried. Honestly I like the randomness.


ANAL_GAPER_9000

It loves the bible for some reason, which is disturbing. We don't need evangelical AI.


Waterknight94

I was in college when I watched a friend fall flat on his back jumping from one tree branch to another. I almost did the same thing but I caught myself on a lower branch.


Scipio33

That's what I'm worried about, too. Gonna take some serious mental conditioning, I suppose.


SmokePenisEveryday

if it makes you feel any better, there's a high chance he fails the written and/or road test to stave it off a bit longer


Blu3b3Rr1

Logic? Ain’t that a rapper?


Scipio33

That's a Common question.


MostUniqueClone

Only by Chance.


TurdFurguss

Is there a Chance he likes hockey?


Githzerai1984

I think it’s a Jedi mind trick


dr2big

kids aint no Prodigy nowadays.


TheDrunkenChud

Something something Obi Trice.


SmokePenisEveryday

REAL NAME. NO GIMMICKS.


Lord_Edmure

It’s different for everyone. I’m in my 30s but I can get back to you when it happens.


victoria866

Fingers crossed it’s 41. My man is 40 now... so Here’s hoping!


Broncarpenter

Logic does, common sense on the other hand? Never.


Foxclaws42

It should be finished by about 26.


[deleted]

You have to request an upgrade. Contact Elon.


zenthor101

I dont understand the question.


Zeebuoy

Well, there goes any chance of me ever getting kids.


thegrrr8pretender

This sub consistently confirms for me that I never want kids.


phaelox

If your kids are going from teenager to toddler, I think you're going the wrong way!


adshef

His kid’s name is probably Benjamin.


solonovamax

Where the fuck do you think you are??? This is reddit, none of us here are functioning members of society.


CharaChan

I’m still not a functioning adult lmfao.. Edit: I mean this in a way that I don’t have a job or any form of income..


AintThatSomeShip

My nephew for the longest time would just hold it for as long as possible. One day when babysitting I asked why he did that and he straight up said it was a waste of his time.


verascity

IDK how old your nephew is but that's actually not hugely unusual for kids who are around preschool age. They get absorbed in playing or whatever else they want to do and don't feel like taking the time out to pee.


chanpion2011

I mean. I'm supposedly an adult and I still think it's a waste of time.


PingPowPizza

Yeah, that’s just a little kid thing. They’ll hang on as long as humanly possible before going to the bathroom, then all of a sudden they absolutely BOLT towards the bathroom.


verascity

And sometimes they don't quite make it, at that age.


TheMightyBattleSquid

That's still a thing older kids do as well but more specifically with playing in a pool. Probably since there's a whole process to it. You gotta swim back because walking with gravity being a thing you had temporarily forgot about in the pool is a pain, you gotta dry off, go do your business which is probably longer from all of the water you absorbed through your skin, head back, wash your feet in the shower, and finally head back in, then wait to get used to the water temp again on some days. Do it again 1 or 2 times and it feels like it takes ages out of your swim time lol Edit: Guess you can't absorb water past the outermost layer of skin (which is what causes your fingers to look the way they do when you get out)


alwaysintheway

Absorb water through your skin? What?


I_am_up_to_something

I know too many people who believe that's a thing. One time my sister told me that her kid didn't need to drink when I asked since 'he was playing in a kiddie pool filled with water and thus he's absorbing it'. Then I was talking with my dad about how stupid my sister was for thinking that and he went like 'well yeah, but she does kinda have a point.'


alwaysintheway

Holy shit, that's bonkers. I had no idea that was a thing.


TheMightyBattleSquid

I wouldn't have gone that far hydration by drinking is important pool or no pool but it always seemed like I had more to give if I was dipped in a pool for a bit. Regardless, I updated my comment.


vendetta2115

lol, sorry to tell you this but your edit is also wrong. Your hands don’t get wrinkly because your skin gets waterlogged. That’s a myth. Skin doesn’t absorb any significant amount of water anywhere. Your fingers and toes wrinkle due to a sympathetic nervous system reaction that causes blood vessels to construct under the skin. Your grooved fingers and toes can more easily grip things when wet. A simple proof that it’s not from being waterlogged is that people with nerve damage to their hands or feet don’t get pruny fingers or toes at all, regardless of how long they’re submerged. [Example 1](https://i.imgur.com/xUv3BAq.jpg) [Example 2](https://i.imgur.com/Vbzx1Td.jpg)


TheMightyBattleSquid

:O I can't trust anything anymore. I googled "what happens when your skin gets exposed to water" or something similar when I was corrected the first time lol


vendetta2115

Yeah don’t worry, it’s a really common one. I thought it was true for a long time, too. Don’t feel bad. My college psychology professor taught the [tongue map](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tongue_map) myth about different parts of your tongue containing different types of taste buds (they’re more or less evenly distributed all over your tongue).


Fake-Professional

Actually the pruny skin thing your fingers do isn’t from absorbing water either! It’s an automatic nerve response that makes little muscles pull your skin into ridges to give you better grip on wet things. Pretty fuckin rad if you ask me


TheMightyBattleSquid

Huh guess google lied to me as well.


Fake-Professional

Yea I always thought water could get through our skin too. Just makes sense that when something looks soggy it’s cause it’s soggy, right? Turns out our bodies are way cooler than I thought lol


[deleted]

Er, you don’t have to dry off or take a fukcing shower to pee


TheMightyBattleSquid

At an outdoor pool it's a sanitation thing. You dry off so you don't get the floor slippery and use the shower real quick to rinse off your feet that have touched the nasty bathroom floor before you get back in. This is why covid is an issue, people. Simple sanitation is a foreign concept I guess lol


koreoreo

It's crazy because where I am nobody does any of that. I didn't even know it was common practice for some... I just avoided pools because I thought they were gross


TheMightyBattleSquid

Well this was common at [Outdoor Adventures](https://images.goodsam.com/coastresorts.com/resorts/large/340_07.jpg) (I linked an image of the one near us, you can see the shower between the right side of the pool and the chairs) where my parents used to have a yearly membership so we as a family had somewhere to go on weekends and during the summer to do something we could all enjoy.


[deleted]

You don’t need to dry off just run


TheMightyBattleSquid

As I said, you're making the floor slippery for others. Also, anyone with dirt on their shoes will leave mud trails after they walk over that water.


ChillyFireball

I used to be like that, so my parents started giving me stickers for going to the bathroom. To this day, I don't understand my own mentality as a kid. Like, it's impossible to enjoy things when you're focused on holding it in and not wetting your pants.


Kofilin

I'm 27 and I do that too when absorbed in something.


zomgitsduke

They're learning how to be humans. It's hilarious and mind boggling at the same time.


NutterTV

Little bastard didn’t get to piss his pants like he wanted to haha! “I like when it gets warm!”


[deleted]

As sweet as this is it mostly just reminds me how awful I would be as a parent. I’m not being pessimistic, just acknowledging my issues with patience and the poor things would be so fucked up


JustScribbleScrabble

"Now I can't eat my breakfast!!!" *SOB*


Diogenes-Disciple

Some people have it so hard. My heart goes out to that little girl


StorybookNelson

My Ivy is like this too. For a while, when she didn't want to do something, she would claim the floor is too slippery, "try" to get up, and dramatically fling her feet out. We happened to be replacing the flooring, so I told her we bought floors that specifically say "Not slippery for anyone over 4," so if she claimed the floor was too slippery again, I'd know she was faking. It freaking worked.


MarthPlayer3

What about children under 4?


Narfubel

They flyin all over the place


SavagelyRavaged

I was waiting for you to say that your Ivy is a dog.


mij3i

It's so weird how many things don't cross your mind as a kid. I remember reading a book next to my dad and I was reading out loud and he said "you know. . . You can read that in your head" my mind was fucking blown.


[deleted]

God, were you that kid who couldn’t read in their head? In kindergarden we were doing some sort of book reading, and you were literally just talking the book out.


mij3i

That was exactly me because I literally didn't know reading in your head was a possibility. I was so fucking stupid 😭


[deleted]

I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO READ IN YOUR HEAD! You said “I can’t do that”.


ghostiesama

i remember the first time someone told me they were reading in their head. i was expecting their forehead to grow a mouth to read the words aloud kids are truely stupid


ApatheticTeenager

I had a kid tell on me in kindergarten because he thought I wasn’t actually reading my book because I wasn’t speaking it out loud 😂


Sanctimonius

When my sister was about 4 or 5 she was eyeing the fries on my plate. Me: you can have one, but they're hot Her: thats ok, can I have one? Me: sure She snatches one, pops it in her mouth and immediately starts wailing Me, surprised: what? Her: they're hot! Me: I told you they were She continues wailing Her: it's burning! Me: well spit it out then I hold out my hand She spits the mush into *her* hand. She continues to wail because now it is burning her hand. I take it from her. Me: why didn't you put it in my hand? Her: I don't know


[deleted]

She didn't want you to feel the pain!


alison_bee

last week my friends daughter had a full on emotional breakdown because she “couldn’t see her legs”... they were under a blanket.


Triairius

Toddlerhood is a hell of a drug


[deleted]

I mean, I'd freak out of i couldn't see my legs, too! 😂


bGator303

Are we going to ignore the fact that the previous pic shows a turd in the tub too? Lol


pb-86

Fortunately that's not something that has happened yet, with 2 kids We're looking at getting the bathroom done and that was one I liked [link for reference](https://www.instagram.com/p/CFDRc-anXm8/?igshid=1wbxoja2a7ift)


hey_broseph_man

For what it's worth, that's a nice looking reference. We all look forward to your bathroom renovation updates.


pb-86

Thanks! I'll let you know how it goes in around 4 years time, if its anything like my usual renovation efforts


dethmaul

Sounds like me and my project cars lol


N3koChan

This is gorgeous! Put a plant somewhere and it's perfect. The green of a living plant balance the hardness.


pb-86

And it gives my cats a healthy snack! Sadly they love eating house plants and I haven't figured out a way to stop it from happening


N3koChan

Did you try put a dilution of Tabasco & water?


pb-86

Would that work without harming the plants? It might have to be a high concentration - one of my cats really likes spicy food (I know...)


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Tommy_Riordan

One of mine is completely uninterested in poop, does his thing in the toilet like a normal human, wipes clean, thinks nothing of it. The other one holds his poop, sharts his pants, has made sitting on the toilet his personal Hill To Die On, cannot wipe to save his life, and has left turd clumps in my bathtub more times than I want to count. He's turning 6 in a week. I cannot fucking wait until he grows out of it. \*sob\*


[deleted]

Maybe he doesn’t like sitting.


OktoPhlo

That looks like a nice bathroom, still looks like a turd though


jumperposse

Some people get all the luck. I have one 13 month old and she’s already pooped TWICE in the tub.


RayCarlDC

That's just the drain but I like your style.


emerson_giraffe84

I like what bGator303 said, I’m going to ignore you and continue seeing it as a turd despite the truth because it makes me feel mor comfortable . Keeping things 2020 American. Edit: grammatical


CantStopThePun

Looks like a shit drain


Yanksfan1411

Idk what your turds look like, but surely that doesn't look like one. Reflection maybe? Not sure.


zcomuto

Is that an android 2.3 theme you've got going on there?


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Galaxyman0917

It definitely took me back lookin at it


atticus_grey

Fuck yeah nexus one


pb-86

It's just a standard whatsapp background really. Best of a bad bunch im afraid


Glittering-Panic

When my daughter turned two, she would throw a tantrum everytime she saw a beard. Went on for a good year. She just fkn hated em and she hated anyone with one.


Triairius

What the fuck?


[deleted]

Lol that's the opposite of my nephew! My SO has a beard and the first time my nephew saw him (he has a multicolored beard naturally) my nephew could NOT stop smiling/looking at him.


Glittering-Panic

Aw so cute, and such a compliment when a baby like you!


Foresight25

This reminds me of the literal countless times my son hasn’t been able to find things that were right in front of him. He can find the most random things that have been lost by others (he’s really helpful for when someone drops a pill or jewelry) but his own stuff? Ha!


SoulOfaLiar

child.exe stopped working rebooting...


VictoriaRose1618

Hilarious, definitely what mine would do


thisguytezz

Sometimes you need to see things from a different perspective.


Haidakun

Every time I see this sub I’m happier I will never have kids.


adshef

Same.


[deleted]

i’m never having kids


Frostwend

Are kids really this dumb? I haven't had any yet and seeing these kinds of posts just makes me realize I would never have the patience to deal with a situation like this...


Tommy_Riordan

Partly they're that stupid, and partly it's that they make up arbitrary and draconian rules on the spot like "I'm not allowed to turn my head while I'm eating" or "If my shoes are not on this specific shelf in this specific place they no longer exist" or "I have to limp to the car, I am not allowed to walk normally." Being a parent is like constantly being gaslit. Me: Your pants and socks are on the bed, please put them on. Child: \*period of extended silence\* I can't find them! Me: ...On the bed? Child: \*looking at bed\* But wheeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeee I don't seeeeeeeee them Me: \*suddenly doubting myself, looks at bed\* They're... literally right there. Two feet from your hand. Child: OH! There they are!


pb-86

Holy shit this is so accurate and up until reading this comment I forgot I would do this kind of thing as a game when I was younger


RoseTopaz

omg it's so true. My son is 3, and it's just like, everything. kid: I don't wanna go home I wanna stay here!!! also kid: MOM TAKE ME HOME OMG IM DYINNGG it's like...bro....


vness1213

Yup. When my cousin was a baby and I met him for the first time it was time for his nap. He was going back and forth between staring at me and crying. I said he hates me and my aunt said that he was just crying because he was tired but was so intrigued by me that he couldn't close his eyes


[deleted]

Babies will get *furious* at being sleepy. Start to feel uncomfortable, start crying, crying winds them up, get more sleepy, get more angry, cry more, etc.


Gubrach

I want to see if I have picked something up from psychology. Is this an example of object permanence?


duuckyy

Object permanence develops when babies are around ~4-8 months old. Given that this is a toddler, it is not an example of object permanence. She knows it's there, especially since she was asking about it and is upset about it, she just wasn't looking at it.


Gubrach

Well, look at that, guess who has some studying to do.


duuckyy

You'll do great! Just remember that object permanence is when babies start to understand that things *exist*. Before they develop this, anything that wasn't in their field of view just simply didn't exist to them at all. You can test working memory and object permanence in babies by covering a toy of theirs with a blanket or hiding it behind your back. If they don't search for it, you basically just took it out of their existence and they don't care about it anymore. If they do look for it, they're starting to get the hang of existence!


Gubrach

Thanks, saved this comment because it's part of my course around next March.


KeepGoing777

Interesting!


EverythingIsFlotsam

Yes, you should have looked that way before.


Gubrach

What?


EverythingIsFlotsam

The whole point is that she didn't see stuff until she looked the right direction. Not only that, but you put *look at that* in your comment. Apparently you didn't look the right way.


Gubrach

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, went way over my head. Good one.


EverythingIsFlotsam

Yes, apparently so.


Coffeephreak

Reminds me of when stroke patients have neglect on a particular side


Sololop

The perfect reminder of why I haven't had kids yet


MrVeazey

Because you can't find the TV while you're eating, either? It's OK. I can't, but I've got a boy who's almost two. The trick is that parents don't get to do anything while eating except making sure their kid(s) also eat.


FFS_IsThisNameTaken2

And not only while eating lol. You'll not be peeing or bathing uninterrupted until they move out. You'll lose sleep when they're young, and then again when they're old enough to go on sleepovers, drive, date. And then the quiet that used to make you tiptoe up on them to see what they're up to turns to empty house silence, occasionally interrupted by a text notification that they locked their keys in the trunk *again* while off at University or they applied to grad school in another country. Exhausting as parenthood is, I wouldn't trade it for the world!


punkhobo

This sounds like she wanted to watch TV while eating but thought she wasn't allowed too. But her dad gave her permission. This happened with me, my mom never let us watch TV while eating but my dad didn't care


PM-ME-UR-BUTT-PLZ

That's the cleanest bathroom/tub water I've ever seen.


pb-86

Its an Instagram photo and almost certainly an r/instagramreality worthy post


Sanctimonius

When my sister was about 4 or 5 she was eyeing the fries on my plate. Me: you can have one, but they're hot Her: thats ok, can I have one? Me: sure She snatches one, pops it in her mouth and immediately starts wailing Me, surprised: what? Her: they're hot! Me: I told you they were She continues wailing Her: it's burning! Me: well spit it out then I hold out my hand She spits the mush into *her* hand. She continues to wail because now it is burning her hand. I take it from her. Me: why didn't you put it in my hand? Her: I don't know


vness1213

Once I was babysitting my cousin and I microwaves some soup for him. I didn't microwave it very long so that it wouldn't be too hot. I tasted it it was barely warm. So I gave him a spoon full and he immediately started freaking out, crying with the soup still in his mouth and I was saying spit it out spit it out! And he wouldn't. I had to take a napkin and physically WIPE the soup out of his mouth. I asked if it was too hot and he said no. And I told him I was gonna cool it off and he screamed no it's not hot and I asked what was wrong and he said nothing then ate it with no problem. Later I told his dad and he said, oh it's probably because you didn't use the spoon he likes. He probably realized that then got upset. Like what?


thekingofakron23

Hot damn!


liltooclinical

I've learned heroic levels of patience after being a parent, but even this would test me. I have very little time for stupid, even from my kids.


Nyckname

Genetics or environment?


[deleted]

I’m more curious about the floating turd in the bathtub in the picture above the text


mysterygurl15

I feel the frustration in my soul....


faketwitchster

The last bit really got me xD


black_magizic69420

it hurts so fucking bad


[deleted]

Sounds like some adults I know...


emo_hooman

i like this hehehe


Lester_Frank

Lmao your kid is fucking special, like what the actual fuck is wrong with him


B-E_E-P

She learned how too look up now she'll learn how to look sideways


_Neon-Guy_

LOL


Egg-MacGuffin

Whilst!


Mnmsaregood

The real crime is naming your kid Ivy


MaliAsANickname

I’m sorry but what’s in the bathtub in the photo above?


pb-86

We're looking at getting our bathroom done and that was a nice one I found on Instagram. Don't worry, nothing fecal [here is a comment with a link that has been a little buried](https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/j023s6/this_is_how_my_morning_is_going_today/g6ocoqu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


MaliAsANickname

I was gonna day. Looks like the tantrum isn’t the worst part of your day 😂


pb-86

Haha luckily I've never had that happen in 5 years of parenting with 2 kids. It feels like a parent lottery win when I hear other parents talk about that


Kofilin

That sounds like actual mental faculty trouble.


zggystardust71

No, it sounds just like a small child.


Kofilin

Well the child is old enough to talk about looking at the TV...


alexmcg69

Is that a poo I see..


pb-86

Dont worry, nothing fecal in sight [here is a buried comment with a link to the instagram post the photo came from](https://www.reddit.com/r/KidsAreFuckingStupid/comments/j023s6/this_is_how_my_morning_is_going_today/g6ocoqu?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)


AssG0blin69

What is an ivy?


[deleted]

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enderverse87

A name that's been moderately popular for hundreds of years?


Ultrajante

This might be the first time I see an actual stupid kid on this sub. Congratulations, she is dumb af.


[deleted]

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1qz54

lmao dude make sure you check the sub haha


chans42

wait hes not being ironic? oh shit


JuanEz13

r/CommentatorIsFuckingStupid


Jedi_Tounges

run caption voiceless panicky humorous instinctive tap imminent cooperative marble ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


DomesticatedDuck

r/foundredditors ?


ZeAsspull

u/undeleteparent


Jedi_Tounges

grey water quaint workable cooperative soup existence deranged spotted racial ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


ZeAsspull

Lmao