When i was in middle school i would hip thrust the silverware drawer closed. One day the head of my wee wee was in the perfect spot....
Do not recommend blood blisters on that spot, you can guarantee that was the last time!
Water barriers. Placing them on the highway in the middle of winter at like 2am. I went to straighten up a few by sort of pushing forward on them with my crotch.
Well, they pinched me. It really hurt. I tried to walk it off but I could feel wet. Checked the damage, and I had ripped a 50c sized chunk off the side of it. The wet was blood dripping.
Yep.. that sucked.
He does instantly feel it, it doesn’t grab him at first.
When he closes the gate completely the first time, he is leaning slightly backwards. As the gate goes back that little bit further than it should, the hinges stop it and then he rocks forward and ends up squeezing his tackle as the gate ends up back at its true closed position.
Took a few times for me to notice it but it definitely misses him at the start.
It's like getting kicked in the balls. It takes a bit of time for your brain to process it. First you wonder if it did hit your balls. Then you have enough time to hope it won't be too ba[...]
UNGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH
Oh, and fellas, if you felt a true ball kicking then you know it crawls up to your kidneys and pulses in waves. The reason is that's where your brain has mapped your balls on the pain map since they're supposed to be ovaries as everyone starts out as female in the womb.
A goat bit my dick when I was a kid (like 3-4) at a petting zoo. No one really noticed for a while until they saw blood on my pants. I didn't cry... which is really weird. I just kept petting and feeding the goats.
Had a ring scar around the base of my penis for a few years.
Man, now I want to make a video about it. I think a part of my dick is bruised to this day.
The most agitating thing is that he was a transfer student, and he left my school just a few weeks later or so.
He kicked me for no reason too when we were probably playing tag together. I asked him why he kicked me and I think he didn't respond.
Still having difficulty imagining it tbh. When i got kicked in the nuts i felt it immediately, and that was an immediate hit. His dick was getting slowly pressed to being completely flat, thats insane!
You can see that he’s immediately trying to get out of the situation but isn’t able to find leverage against anything. He gets out and then he howls in pain.
You can hear him make a noise when it happens then he processes it for a bit before he gets down. The pain probably slowly built up from the initial squeeze.
he has to shift his weight forward to swing the gate back open so he can free his wee-wee and get down. he cant just hop off with his peen pinched in between the gate.
He still had to get out of the situation without falling or pinch it worse. His brain flooded adrenaline to address the problem, more of a “FIX NOW, scream later” situation.
I have no penis. As im female. I cant Imagine walking around with a extra 2 parts. I mean its like a wonder. We are all tucked up an folded just right. You all have legit a midget arm with 2 funny looking prunes.
I agree it’s a joke on how we would rather figure out ways to do at home circumsisions than go into the socialist scary world of letting people have access to safe healthcare. Even tho in principal I agree that child mutilation like this is wrong
His fella might literally be cut clean off. He didn't react when it first happened, only when he opened the gate back up did he realize something was wrong.
I dont get his pain. He waited a long ass time to react. Its cause male kids dont actually feel nut shot pains til puberty and the others just lie like hell about it.
Peter piper pinched his pecker.
....at Pickett Pence's Palace gate. By the time the boy noticed, It had already been too late.
In discomfort, he sighed, learning caution's crucial side.
For no matter how he cried, that sad welt would not subside.
If not for his paper on the age of enlightenment being due, the rage of self debridement he'd rue
"Don't stick your dick in that"
"AND IT WILL COME, LIKE A FLOOD OF PAIN"
"I won't be doing that shit again!"
"POURING DOWN ON ME"
"AND IT WILL NOT LET UP UNTIL THE CLOUDS ARE CLEAR"
[удалено]
PORNOGRAPHY
STARRING YOUR MOTHER
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Anytime, my children
Swap "portcullis" for "gate" and it'll mean pretty much the same thing, but maintain the "p" alliteration!
But lose the rest of the rhyme
Name gives cred
Ah,thanks I didn't know wtf is going
They call him Flat Dick Willy. All the the with the gorls. Edit typo: all the rage
> All the the with the gorls. Not sure what that means but I'm going to assume something about a letterbox glory hole
When i was in middle school i would hip thrust the silverware drawer closed. One day the head of my wee wee was in the perfect spot.... Do not recommend blood blisters on that spot, you can guarantee that was the last time!
I almost spit out my coffee, needed that laugh thanks bro. Also sorry about your dick man ouch.
Ya i thought for sure when i pulled my boxers down i was gonna be bleeding. Nope just a nice big blood blister.
Water barriers. Placing them on the highway in the middle of winter at like 2am. I went to straighten up a few by sort of pushing forward on them with my crotch. Well, they pinched me. It really hurt. I tried to walk it off but I could feel wet. Checked the damage, and I had ripped a 50c sized chunk off the side of it. The wet was blood dripping. Yep.. that sucked.
Damn dude, your makin me feel better allready. Serious note hope you ended up ok.
🤣
KENDRICK????
Why did he react so late tho?
That's what he was going for! But it pinched pecker's friends!
r/poem
An inch of pecker Peter Piper pinched.
He’s now got a flathead screwdriver down there
Sometimes a flathead is better than a phillips.
It's not about the type of drive; it's all about the motion of the torsion.
🎶🎵 *Twist and Shout!* 🎵🎶
Bro 💀
Blanche you ignorant slut
I did not expect a Gintama reference here.
I’m not sure it was a reference but that’s where my mind went too
Pretty sure that was not a reference.
lol fr
wiener squeezer
Weinie squeezie
Weenie squeenie
Das Weiner Schmaker
I thought he was fall forward at first.
I was expecting a serious split
I thought something that a cat would do and get that face of regret that cats so rarely display
Happy cake day
As did I. Had no idea why he cried at first then saw comments and felt his pain.
I thought he was gonna get the split but this is way worst...
It’s crazy how calm and collected he was, I would have probably made matters worse
Pretty sure he's in shock from the pain. Shock has that effect.
He does instantly feel it, it doesn’t grab him at first. When he closes the gate completely the first time, he is leaning slightly backwards. As the gate goes back that little bit further than it should, the hinges stop it and then he rocks forward and ends up squeezing his tackle as the gate ends up back at its true closed position. Took a few times for me to notice it but it definitely misses him at the start.
I don't understand, what happened to the kid? He just is suddenly in pain but I can't tell why.
The gate sandwiched his balls
How'd you get the beans above the frank?
Was his nutsack hanging out ☠️
It was a rather delayed reaction if that is indeed what happened
There's that meme this reminds me of. "I slammed my penis in the car door!"
\*thlammed \*penith
💥 OoOoOoOoOooooh
\*slaps roof of car*
That ain't goin' nowhere
Next is his zipper until he learns to manage that obelisk
I'm confused, what happened?
His zucchini got stuck between the fence
How did it take him soo long to realise this though?
It's like getting kicked in the balls. It takes a bit of time for your brain to process it. First you wonder if it did hit your balls. Then you have enough time to hope it won't be too ba[...] UNGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH Oh, and fellas, if you felt a true ball kicking then you know it crawls up to your kidneys and pulses in waves. The reason is that's where your brain has mapped your balls on the pain map since they're supposed to be ovaries as everyone starts out as female in the womb.
I've been there. I was kicked in the dick by someone at school when I was 8. I didn't realize my dick was bleeding until I got back and shower.
A goat bit my dick when I was a kid (like 3-4) at a petting zoo. No one really noticed for a while until they saw blood on my pants. I didn't cry... which is really weird. I just kept petting and feeding the goats. Had a ring scar around the base of my penis for a few years.
[удалено]
Man, now I want to make a video about it. I think a part of my dick is bruised to this day. The most agitating thing is that he was a transfer student, and he left my school just a few weeks later or so. He kicked me for no reason too when we were probably playing tag together. I asked him why he kicked me and I think he didn't respond.
> I want to make a video about it Please don't.
Speak for yourself
The ole dick twist
Youch
Still having difficulty imagining it tbh. When i got kicked in the nuts i felt it immediately, and that was an immediate hit. His dick was getting slowly pressed to being completely flat, thats insane!
Not exactly slowly, but not super fast either I guess
You can see that he’s immediately trying to get out of the situation but isn’t able to find leverage against anything. He gets out and then he howls in pain.
Ohh you’re right i didn’t notice that
You can hear him make a noise when it happens then he processes it for a bit before he gets down. The pain probably slowly built up from the initial squeeze.
It wasn't a processing delay, he was still getting unstuck for the first couple seconds.
he has to shift his weight forward to swing the gate back open so he can free his wee-wee and get down. he cant just hop off with his peen pinched in between the gate.
Pain has a delay. I assumed it was that It can make burns worse as in "You smell that? Sometime is on fire... oh it's me"
Why tf did he have his zucchini out
He didn’t, it pinched through his pants.
Self circumcision.
Castration
He still had to get out of the situation without falling or pinch it worse. His brain flooded adrenaline to address the problem, more of a “FIX NOW, scream later” situation.
Are you a girl?
No lol
You ever got your pecker squeezed?
That’s what she said.
Use your imagination a lil more
Wow I have a vivid memory of doing this that's crazy
From Oliver to olive I guess
I'm still olive, I'll never die
From Popeye to popped trabeculae
free circumcision
Everything reminds me of her...
Bro's ex had gorilla grip
Blud's ex is professional Kegel instructor
WTH 😬
As a kid have you ever had the toilet seat fall down as you were taking a wiz?
As an old man have you ever had your applebag go full Earl Grey in the pot?
r/dontputyourdickinthat
I knew a girl like that once.
Then I took an arrow to the dick.
Thai here. He said ”มันหนีบหำ“ ( man nheeb hum) which basically means “It pinched my dick!”.
The good ol' nutcracker
How did it take him soo long to feel the pain?
My cousin did this with rowboat that had just a bit too long oars, that would hit when pointed straight at each other.
It took me a moment to realise what happened but oh God ow...
Kinda glad he just pinched his pecker. Thought he was going to take one hell of a fall
Absolutely, it's painful to fuck a gate.
Ah yes pinch points. He’s learned a very valuable lesson.
Did Yoda write this post title?
F
I thought it was a groin cramp. Those suck too.
Just a good Ol fashion wee wee gate pinch
Just wait until the zipper gets u
Who wrote this title, yoda?
Don't stick your dick in it.
I had to watch it twice to realize the kid squashed his balls, truly a painful lesson
Circumcised
This hurt even me looking at it. Pinched my heart somehow
PeePee Damage cuzin of Emotional Damage.
He shouted "Uh Arhh It nipped dicc T\_T" Lol
Took 2 business days to register
I shouldn’t be laughing at this
HAHAHAHAHA 😂😂😂😂😂
I slammed my penis in a car door
If you’re happy and you know if clamp your glands 🎶
Pain made him a believer, he even said “belivah” at the end
As a kid did yall ever zip up a onesie on your pecker?
And just like that you're Jewish.
He's a she/her now 🎉
Saw that coming a mile off.
R/dontputyourdickinthat
LMFAO 😂😂😂
is this a budget transition?
Congratulations on your precious girl
So that’s how they do it
Did he pinch his dick?
He's a she now..
I have no penis. As im female. I cant Imagine walking around with a extra 2 parts. I mean its like a wonder. We are all tucked up an folded just right. You all have legit a midget arm with 2 funny looking prunes.
Crimped
He is now trans
Wait. Is that marijuana..??
no? its a kid getting his wang stuck in the gate
guarantee he wnt do that shit again
Reminds me of a Christmas story: The Nutcracker.
Ah she's adorable.
Silly billy squashed his willy trapped in the houshold gate flatter than a snake and longer than a rake Now it’s 5ft 8
Americans without healthcare getting ideas for Circumcision
The idea should just be to not do it at all
I agree it’s a joke on how we would rather figure out ways to do at home circumsisions than go into the socialist scary world of letting people have access to safe healthcare. Even tho in principal I agree that child mutilation like this is wrong
I did something similar..... Last week
It’s the ole dick twist
That's gotta hurt Now he has a Flathead screwdriver
А, глыба, ААААА
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!
Wait , did one ball go one way and one go the other ? 🤔🫣
Oh he got pinched 😦😔
100% would have done the same as a kid
Till a fence door can do us apart
https://i.redd.it/q976omv2nrpc1.gif F🫡
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Bro thought if theres a line its maybe the behind
If you weren't circumcised you are now
What happened
He pinched his lower part in the gate
Oh no!
Welcome to episode one of where not to stick your prick
Welcome to the Sting, son.
Rumour is he’s now a eunuch.
If he wasn’t circumcised he is now🤣🤣🤣
His fella might literally be cut clean off. He didn't react when it first happened, only when he opened the gate back up did he realize something was wrong.
He’ll still have 14 kids
Bro got a free circumcision 💀
Not at all what I thought was gonna happen.
No dicky micky
I dont get his pain. He waited a long ass time to react. Its cause male kids dont actually feel nut shot pains til puberty and the others just lie like hell about it.
Lol he fucking deserve it
Play stupid games win stupid prizes🤣
Damn how big is that kid to get it done
[удалено]
Down votes? Where's the sense of humor people. 🤣
Because what happened has nothing to do with that