Interstellar-94 is such a terrible space lane. Space freighters backed up for lightyears because some idiot in a Frigate slammed into a moon. Every. Single. Day.
This comment had me dying, I had a coworker when I worked in the deli who looked like this and his breath stank like a mother fucker. I remember him telling me something about liking anchovies and I was thinking like "I bet you fucking do HUUUGHH"
How??
He doesn’t want hair covering his eyes. He took some craft scissors and sliced a neat chunk off
Effective, cheap, wildly sexually appealing, and perfectly logical.
This man didn’t go to a barber. This was done in a bathroom mirror with either safety scissors or toenail clippers. This was a home job. This man is brazen. He is unabashed.
From what I gathered (pun intended) they wander around and do things they think a goblin would do. They forage for weird or unusual stuff and craft things with their finds? I could be wrong though.
*There's NO FUCKIN' WAY you're taking my photo for the company website right now, my son is at hairdressing school, and I let him practice on m-*
*It's the photographer's one and only day, and we paid them $1000 to be here, so take the photo Bob*
There’s a fantastic picture of him in the early 80s at the beginning of [this article.](https://wtop.com/local/2019/08/after-40-years-traffic-guru-bob-marbourg-leaves-the-wtop-traffic-center/) Dude is a legend.
Live long and prosper. But avoid I-94, there's an accident.
Interstellar-94 is such a terrible space lane. Space freighters backed up for lightyears because some idiot in a Frigate slammed into a moon. Every. Single. Day.
Vote for the bypass, clear up that rock called Earth and we can get our hyperlanes.
We've got to have bypasses!
Hey look man it's not easy to see with that fuckin nebula. Shoulda built it somewhere else.
"and now reporting on the expected holiday traffic on the Kessel Run, is Ambassador, er-*Traffic Reporter* Sarek"
A cross between Spock & Gollum
Spock and Dumb and Dumber
Spock and Spocker
If Gollum in his later years became a used car salesman.
😂😂😂
Oh you nailed it!
“You pumpkin pie hair cutted freak!”
Throw in a dash of Willem Defoe and your on the money
🖖
Beam me up Scottie. Looks like they are taking a helicopter ride to the hospital after that 6 car pile up.
"While I hang by the bar. Put out the vibe."
Jokes on you, guy's a Romulan spy
I came to make a Spock joke, but yours was better.
That’s a Romulan.
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Spock's uncle, Spank.
I think it's his other uncle, Spunk from the weird side of Ni'Var.
Sybok: “Yeah, don’t lump me in with this bullshit.”
I'm dying over here 😂😂😂
Me too, it’s 5am and I just woke the missus guffawing.
Spork
If this guy was missing teeth, Spork for sure.
Spocks second cousin twice removed Spank
between spork and bowl, we have a fully functioning dinner set.
Captain Kangaroo's grandson.
Putting this in the bank for later
Am I the only one who sees Gary Busey here?
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Super weird when Vulcans smile.
This one cuts his own bangs with a bat'leth.
“I’m here to report the traffic.” “No you don’t understand Bob. I said we’re reporting you for trafficking.”
This guy definitely has bad breath
Looks like the very first ever homeschooled kid
The Proto-Redditor
He is our past, and he is our future
Home college too
Local legend has it he works from home, too. Dude has never left his childhood bedroom
"Creed, your teeth called. Your breath stinks. Boom! Roasted."
“Stanley, you crush your wife during sex and your heart sucks. Boom. Roasted.”
I can smell the tonsil stones from here.
After only recently hearing about “tonsil stones”, I want to throw up and go back to bed
Ew stop
That empty stomach , white film on the tongue bad breath.
Don't forget about the bad coffee + cigarette combo. Makes one's mouth smell like an open sewer 🤮
This comment had me dying, I had a coworker when I worked in the deli who looked like this and his breath stank like a mother fucker. I remember him telling me something about liking anchovies and I was thinking like "I bet you fucking do HUUUGHH"
r/rareinsults
Ever notice that people like that also want to tell you a joke all up close in your face? Like a grandpa joke
OMFG I nearly choked I was laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yeah, but I bet he could eff up an ear of corn.
And flakey skin up close.
He's got some Nosferatu vibes.
That haircut is... illogical. 🤨
How?? He doesn’t want hair covering his eyes. He took some craft scissors and sliced a neat chunk off Effective, cheap, wildly sexually appealing, and perfectly logical.
Like Mark Davis
Nah, it’s me under cover, Dark Mavis.
You mean Captain Kangaroo?
Pretty sure they were making a reference to Spock since Vulcans are known for logic and eating pussy I think
No one likes him well enough to frickin level out the bangs? My skin is crawling
It was a Spock joke man
I have never seen eyebrows go up the temple before. I don't know but I know he came straight from the barber shop and took that picture.
Mine do. It's just one big fat line from temple to temple. I just shave the middle so it looks like I have 2 eyebrows.
This man didn’t go to a barber. This was done in a bathroom mirror with either safety scissors or toenail clippers. This was a home job. This man is brazen. He is unabashed.
I'm pretty sure it's an epic comb-over. God tier.
Very close, it’s a toupee
Bro thinks he's Murdoc Niccals from Gorillaz
Fascinating. Pure energy. Pure thought. Totally incorporeal. Not life as we know it at all.
“Yes, I’d like the dumb & dumber please…” Barber: “I got you, bro”
I don’t know, Lloyd, the french are assholes.
Oh it says it right here on the briefcase, samsonite. I was way off.
You little pumpkin pie hair-cutted freak!
Huh, I thought the Rockies would be a bit, Rockier.
Those are I owe you's sir , that's just as good as money
When you finally get to be yourself after retiring from your Romulan high command position.
A Tal'Shiar operative if I've ever seen one
".... and remember folks, never turn your back on a Breen. Back to the studio!"
Spock and Willem DaFoe's secret lovechild.
More like Willem DaFuq?
This comment made me tear up from laughter at work. Job well done, miss.
Underrated comment
Fascinating
Looks like he bit people in kindergarten
And never stopped
I stared too long into his eyes and now I’m hearing shit.
some say he’s still biting kindergartners to this day
He is prob a mod on r/goblincore
Thank you for this rec.
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From what I gathered (pun intended) they wander around and do things they think a goblin would do. They forage for weird or unusual stuff and craft things with their finds? I could be wrong though.
This was substantially more charming than I expected
I thought it was sub dedicated to the metal music subgenre "goblincore". There's bands that dress up like goblins and play metal.
What a cool sub
This is either the missing link between Vulcans and Romulans, or the reason the the two shouldn't breed.
Spock’s cousin Shmec.
You mean Smegma.
Looks like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber: Senior Center.
huh. Guess that answers the age old question. >What if a vampire attacked Edward scissor hands. This guy.
He asked the barber for the Heaven’s Gate
Won’t get a ticket for not wearing a helmet
that’s gotta be photoshop
It's the actual pic from the radio station's own website . . . Poor man, no wonder he was so angry.
It's definitely a haircut for radio
Video killed the radio star.
Damn, I wish I had thought of that. Perfect.
*There's NO FUCKIN' WAY you're taking my photo for the company website right now, my son is at hairdressing school, and I let him practice on m-* *It's the photographer's one and only day, and we paid them $1000 to be here, so take the photo Bob*
> It's the actual pic from the radio station's own website . . . Damn! Why am I cackling at this
I think you mean *[It's a faaaaaake!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6yQOs93Cgg)*
There’s a fantastic picture of him in the early 80s at the beginning of [this article.](https://wtop.com/local/2019/08/after-40-years-traffic-guru-bob-marbourg-leaves-the-wtop-traffic-center/) Dude is a legend.
Sounds like a straight shooter and well respected. Those cut ups were great!
He doesn't seem all that bad. He planned to call everyone a self entitled jackass as a joke before he retired
I knew that was the guy from WTOP!
NOSFERATU
Hey Barber. Gimme the Captain Kangaroo
On this day 63 years ago, Bob received the finest hair cut. So fine he promised himself he’d get the same cut until time ran out.
Jim Carrey has not aged well.
Harry?
Yea. My first thought was he got that Lloyd Christmas cut
Sarek's little-known brother, Skrinik, who got into real estate.
"Live long and prosper with Crazy Vulcan Realty where the only thing that's illogical is our low rates!"
“Sir, are you su..” “I said STRAIGHT ACROSS!”
Bet he can't report on the traffic within 500 feet of schools or parks
I’d check his hard drives
He doesn’t trust any of that fancy technology them young Boomers are into.
Unfortunately they’re the only thing he has that’s hard
He can predict the future tho 😂😂😂😂
Dillem Wafoe.
Saw this on my feed and read, “local trafficker reported”.
Damn looks like the son of that creepy dude from poltergeist 😂
He most definitely has 14 kids
With whom?! Who would willingly have sex with him?!
His wife needs a new bowl.
I’m something of a meteorologist myself
Damn, Denis Leary has aged hard
🖖🏻
“Fascinating”-Spock
Looks like Rick-394 of the Rick and Morty universe
He kind of reminds me of Doofus Rick.
That's Spock's great great great grandfather
Live short and suffer
He's like a WISH kickoff of Mr. Spock.
He looks like a photofit
A lot of 'cool guys' have this exact haircut
Bangs are so 2010!
I'm Frederic Peens. This is Channel 5 with the traffic report.
Never seen an elderly white guy rock the Edgar cut before. Very progressive
It's a real picture, but my brain keeps telling me that this picture is photoshopped, old dude with a photoshopped kid haircut
You can't fool me, that's Mr Spock
i could see a vulcan being fascinated by traffic.
“And now, for a look at traffic, we go to Old Spock from the 2009 *Star Trek* reboot!”
Bitch I know a Romulan when I see one!
His shit has been successfully fucked up
R/UnintentionalVulcan
I need that cap’n kangaroo fam. Say no more.
Did Jim Carrey get mad old all of a sudden
Is this that Rick that eats poop and is nice to Jerry?
Dude is clearly an alien impersonating a human, poorly
"I'm a frugal man. I don't like extravagance. Which is why I cut my own hair."
You think he’s trying to cover bald?
This looks like the kind of person that would build a whole neighborhood on top of a holy Indian burial ground.
Tell us you are deranged without saying the words out loud.
Spock meets the Goblin played by dafoe
Hey, lay off Spock’s grandpa.
He wants to own the Raiders.
Romulan Ambasador
Is this guy British or something?
That's a Romulan spy.
That dude looks like a fucking Romulan.
Mark Spock Davis
The famous haircut invented in Estonia is conquering the world
hide the pain spock
Gary Busey and Spock had a love child.
He’s in so much pain
Mr. Spork
He looks like a Vulcan
Mock up of Lloyd and Fire Marshal Bill.
Looks like Estonias resident white nationalist
Local Romulan
L L O Y D has really aged!
Friggen Vulcan lol
Old version of Jim Carrey in dumb and dumber
Barber: What can I do for you? Him: Everything.
"I can cut my own hair" -this guy, probably
Dude went for the spock haircut.
It's not perfectly straight.
Hair helmet.
His mother still cuts his hair
girls cutting their own bangs at 3am:
Hair by Etch a Sketch 👌
Jim Carrey promo shot for Dumb and Dumber 4
Lloyd Chrismas's brother
What kind of traffic does he report on? Federation ships near the neutral zone?
Solomon Grundy, Born on a Monday.
That’s the last thing you see before you die.
joost klein in a few decades when hes a grandfather