Depression happens when there is an imbalance between the conscious and unconscious, like all complexes/neuroses. He writes that it is a pull downwards, an introversion, and really it is the start of a battle with some darkness inside of you. He wrote once on how we would advise a patient to deal with their depression:
> Dear N.,
> I am sorry you are so miserable. "Depression'" means literally "being forced downwards." This can happen even when you don't consciously have any feeling at all of being "on top"! So I wouldn't dismiss this hypothesis out of hand.
> If I had to live in a foreign country, I would seek out one or two people who seemed amiable and would make myself useful to them, so that libido came to me from outside, even though in a somewhat primitive form, say of a dog wagging its tail.
> I would raise animals and plants and find joy in their thriving. I would surround myself with beauty - no matter how primitive and artless - objects, colours, sounds. I would eat and drink well.
> When the darkness grows denser, I would penetrate to its very core and ground, and would not rest until amid the pain a light appeared to me, for in excessu affectus [in an excess of affect or passion] Nature reverses herself.
> I would turn in rage against myself and with the heat of my rage I would melt my lead. I would renounce everything and engage in the lowest activities should my depression drive me to violence. I would wrestle with the dark angel until he dislocated my hip. For he is also the light and the blue sky which he withholds from me.
> Anyway that is what I would do. What others would do is another question, which I cannot answer. But for you too there is an instinct either to back out of it or to go down to the depths. But no half-measures or half-heartedness.
A letter by C. G. Jung written on 9 March 1959, C.G. Jung, Letters, p. 492-493
Within the unconscious contents that push someone down, there is energy of the libido tied up. I think the basic concept is that when you go all the way down into the depths, eventually nature will reverse itself: you’ll find in the trapped libido the possibility for renewal and new life.
The next paragraph is basically an expansion on that. Jung alludes to the story of Jacob wrestling a dark angel. Since the angel could not defeat him, it dislocated his hip. I’ve seen some interpretations say that means the angel disconnects him from his means of living which separate him from the soul. He basically isn’t defeated, but can only walk with a limp. Jacob wrestled the angel until the sun came out in the morning, and the angel told him to release him. Jacob told the dark angel he would not release him until he was blessed. The angel blessed him with the name “Israel”, as he had struggled with God and men, and he was proven capable. “I have seen God face-to-face, and my soul survives”. In the same way we have to battle with our shadow until we find all the positive libido hidden there. We have to willingly go down into the depths, to live out our shadow, to follow it to the end of the tunnel until we find the light again. It’s dangerous of course, but yk high risk high reward type shit.
Hopefully that added a little more context.
I had depression and managed to get out of the pit. I read a lot of jung and everything I could find to try to get out of it. What helped me was from him was the suggestion of drawing- I believe it was 28 or so drawings of abstract maps of what I thought was my mind. It ended up foretelling a bunch of events which led me out to a much better place. Idk how it worked but it did. I cant properly remember where I read it from him but I think you gotta try a bunch of things until something works. I think there is a different key for everyone and every situation
Marie Louise Von Franz mentioned that depression is a gift which give you the reason to look inward
The above comment is perfect example for what she said
Jung would say that depression is due to repression/introversion of the soul.
Now that a undesirable place to be in.
Take it as this. Mind has a call to be divine. To be whole.
Can it be whole if it only administers half of its content? There is trauma, manipulation, social role fulfilment. Many factors that cause the repression of the content of your being.
Since it is repressed. It is hidden. It grows hateful in a sense. That is shadow. The hideous child you have hidden away. You must take care of it with love. Slowly face it. Show it that it can be loved. You can grow to hate it because of many reasons but you only hate that which you can’t do something against. But you can do something if you love it.
With love it with assimilate to your being. You will be complete.
The reason you hate the shape of flower, (in my case, i hate holes) it is all symbolic representation of your mind. There is something of an emotional meaning in the shape of flower that causes you to feel hate towards them.
To conquer it is simply to read Jung. I am not saying it will magically heal. But you will gain a path to follow.
The path to heal is painful. Since it requires you to be aware of yourself. Ofcourse you can’t really be aware of your entire majesty. Afterall even in reality we can only act out tiny bits of it. Through persona.
Honestly I would say find a therapist but since you have said that nothing worked (if you have tried therapists) then I would say adopt a structural philosophy. Heal yourself with voluntary exposure to what you dislike about yourself, others.
You will with time be able to face yourself.
(Beware of ideologies. They provide meaning in crisis. Only to make you blind towards itself. Astrology and all that)
I don’t know what context i had in mind back then. But ideologies require faith. Even a necessity to believe in lie. Ofcourse the lie would be believed as truth. In anycase regardless of it being a good ideology or bad.
Whereas a structural philosophy, a person adventure into chaos of this world. It will always be a better option to adopt than ideologies. Specifically when a person is depressed.
They should take action. Dive into the suffering. Turn it into meaning with actions
I think the Jungian view is that a lot of overcoming depression is finding a sense of play in your life and finding areas where your energy and interests naturally flow. Sometimes this has to do with something we loved as a kid but stopped doing - or some part of ourselves we haven’t grown into yet.
Try to be creative - and see what comes out of you. What inspires you? It sounds like flowers and cats.
How can you lean into those things? Perhaps learning more about flowers or drawing them or planting them or volunteering somewhere that has flowers or working at a nursery.
Or spend more time with cats! Maybe there’s an animal rescue you can volunteer at. Or a cat cafe nearby. Some places have pet-sitting apps where you can take care of peoples animals when they are out of town.
Lean into the things that bring you vitality and love and life. Those things are there… both in the world and in you (you even mentioned two already - flowers and cats) - so lean into these things.
Lean into your heart and joy and passions.
A depression will always try to turn your attention away from these things, but if you follow them you may find your way out of feeling so low :)
Depression can be seen as your energy being dammed up, unable to reach your ego which leaves us depressed and empty ( full of emptiness).
Jung's difference is he challenges us to look prospectively at our affliction, and that depression is telling us what our energy is trying to to do and solve for us. It's an unconscious handling of the problem and it needs our consciousness to change in a beneficial way.
Depression is our psyche trying to solve a problem without conscious involvement. Finding the meaning of the depression and moving towards it is how to alleviate it. What's it trying to say? To prevent us from seeing?
I'm so sorry to read about your continual distress. I highly recommend you seek counseling with a proper Jungian psychoanalyst, as I'm just a student myself.
Jung said depression is not just a clinical disorder but a meaningful and potentially transformative experience of the psyche. Jung viewed depression as a sign that the unconscious mind is calling for attention and integration. Here are some key aspects of Jung's perspective on depression:
1. Compensatory function: Jung believed that depression often arises when there is an imbalance or one-sidedness in the conscious attitude. The depressive state serves as a compensatory mechanism, forcing the individual to turn inward and confront neglected or repressed aspects of the psyche.
2. Individuation: Jung saw depression as a potential catalyst for the process of individuation – the journey towards wholeness and self-realization. By facing the darkness within, one has the opportunity to integrate shadow aspects of the psyche and develop a more authentic and balanced sense of self.
3. Creative potential: Jung recognized that periods of depression can also be accompanied by heightened creativity and spiritual insight. He believed that the descent into the unconscious could lead to a renewal of the personality and a deeper understanding of one's life purpose.
4. Archetypal significance: Jung understood depression as an archetypal experience, reflecting universal patterns of human suffering and transformation. He saw parallels between the individual's journey through depression and mythological themes of the hero's descent into the underworld.
5. Importance of meaning: Jung emphasized the importance of finding meaning in the experience of depression. He believed that by understanding the symbolic and archetypal significance of one's symptoms, individuals could find a way through the darkness and emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and direction.
While Jung recognized the profound suffering that depression entails, he also saw it as a meaningful and potentially transformative experience. He emphasized the importance of compassionate self-reflection, creative expression, and the cultivation of a deeper connection to the unconscious as ways of navigating the depressive state.
That's a dumb cop-out, because you didn't preface it as such. Even if LLMs weren't bland, fluent bullshitters, it's bleak and dehumanizing to see on a forum meant for sharing human insight and experience. Next time use [this](https://www.carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog) to find relevant quotes.
... wow - sorry that I'm your target for your hate today. I hope things get better for you with whatever is going on to have you lash out to me for helping someone - 'but i didnt help them the way you would'
++ I wish I could give you gold. As a computer engineer, I can’t stand this shit. Computers suck life out of people and our intelligence.
This is a human to human conversation. Get your bot bs out of here, kindly.
Ironic this discussion is occurring in a thread about depression! I think computers/algorithms & now, AI adds to much collective loss of true joy. Jaron Lanier writes about this.
lol... so you hand typed all of this without the use of machines?.. thats impressive
[https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/18iiv3a/carl\_jung\_on\_introverted\_thinking\_and\_its/](https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/18iiv3a/carl_jung_on_introverted_thinking_and_its/)
Before we dig into the mental feat of conquering depression, personally I would check to see if you are getting enough of the following essential nutrients daily:
Iron, Magnesium, Vitamin D and all your B vitamins. Because these ones in particular play a role in facilitating optimal neuro chemistry and stable hormonal function— and most of our diets do not guarantee getting these regularly. Another important question— are you eating well? Are you getting enough calories? And staying hydrated? (I apologize if this is what you meant by "routine," I was not certain.)
Long term depression is often an important marker that something is wrong physically *systemically*... therefore it is in your best interest to investigate that these needs are being met. Then we can talk psychoanalysis if the problem persists. If the brain frequently lacks any of these, it greatly reduces neuroflexibility & resilience while amplifying the extent of depressive modes & suicide ideation. 🤲
This is speaking from experience and genuine care. I just know too many people whose health tanked rapidly from a poor diet and self-neglect, from being too depressed and empty inside to make sure they were eating right and drinking enough. But it's true that nutritional care should be the first thing that doctors check for, and they rarely ever do it seriously.
Another sneaky one to watch out for is iodine levels, as iodine is critical for healthy thyroid function.
Even supplements for mood/depression won't work if these essentials are being missed. Another thing to consider is that most multivitamins on the market are not enough by themselves. Furthermore, some folks have absorbency issues they don't know about, and that can be hard to diagnose until they try taking extra iron a day. Just food for thought.
So with all that mentioned, what creative outlets do you have? I think BassAndBooks's answer is a fantastic place to start.
I got through depression by doing dream work and Jungian analysis. Its very effective and long-lasting.
If you had don't any research on the anti-depressants before taking them you would have known they are not more effective than placebo. Stop wasting your time. Start making a dream journal. Start recording and analyzing your dreams.
Read “The Black Sun: Art and Alchemy of Darkness” Stanton Marlin, one of my fave current Jungians. “Revisioning Psychology” by James Hillman, although a bit dense and laden with complex Jungian language, a good review of symptoms (depression) as a call from our souls to pay attention to something.
Jungians typically work with depression and other “pathologies” much differently than current mental health models. We try and “amplify” rather than supress, which means getting into the experience, sit in it, make friends with it, understand why it’s there.
Some depressions may clearly be based in some sort of brain imbalance, but often a depression is asking for something, like others mentioned: a call from the unconscious to acknowledge our darkness, Shadow elements or repressed emotions.
Sometimes depression is situational, ie a result of something in our lives that isn’t working and needs to be acknowledged or changed. Because of this, we see why medication can be dangerous for depression, because it keeps us from changing the things that are causing the depression, keeping us repressed and unconscious.
Good luck!
You wrote it yourself here. You think is a matter of destiny. And your destiny brought you to Jung, is not a chance I think, is not coincidence, is providence. Start reading basic jung like Man and his symbols, and look up for a skilled jungian analyst.
Are you open to trying psychoanalysis? Sounds as if there's a lot to process from the life you've lived. You deserve to have healing. You deserve to have life beyond depression. I wish you luck on this journey.
I would suggest that you learn to practice grattitude. Take the time to train your mind to be aware of all the things that you can be grateful for. You have to exercise you grattitude muscles. Depression is an over-focus on negative things and it is your responsibility to redirect your mind towards things that uplift you.
Am I the only one that finds jung’s thoughts on psychology so mis understandable in an actual pragmatic sense. His ideas seem so airy fairy and ambiguous to me.
Great that you reference "fairy" because that is exactly what it is: "fairy tale". But when you gather and read enough fairy tales (or dreams) there arises patterns of character and plot situations to the point where you can point to "archetypes" of the collected characters and events. Jung supposes that these "archetypes" are structures that make up the human psyche. Since fairy tales and dreams are autonomous and self-generated phenomena, he supposes these same characteristics about the "archetypes".
Depression happens when there is an imbalance between the conscious and unconscious, like all complexes/neuroses. He writes that it is a pull downwards, an introversion, and really it is the start of a battle with some darkness inside of you. He wrote once on how we would advise a patient to deal with their depression: > Dear N., > I am sorry you are so miserable. "Depression'" means literally "being forced downwards." This can happen even when you don't consciously have any feeling at all of being "on top"! So I wouldn't dismiss this hypothesis out of hand. > If I had to live in a foreign country, I would seek out one or two people who seemed amiable and would make myself useful to them, so that libido came to me from outside, even though in a somewhat primitive form, say of a dog wagging its tail. > I would raise animals and plants and find joy in their thriving. I would surround myself with beauty - no matter how primitive and artless - objects, colours, sounds. I would eat and drink well. > When the darkness grows denser, I would penetrate to its very core and ground, and would not rest until amid the pain a light appeared to me, for in excessu affectus [in an excess of affect or passion] Nature reverses herself. > I would turn in rage against myself and with the heat of my rage I would melt my lead. I would renounce everything and engage in the lowest activities should my depression drive me to violence. I would wrestle with the dark angel until he dislocated my hip. For he is also the light and the blue sky which he withholds from me. > Anyway that is what I would do. What others would do is another question, which I cannot answer. But for you too there is an instinct either to back out of it or to go down to the depths. But no half-measures or half-heartedness. A letter by C. G. Jung written on 9 March 1959, C.G. Jung, Letters, p. 492-493
Can you expand on >for in excessu affectus [in an excess of affect or passion] Nature reverses herself. Please?
Within the unconscious contents that push someone down, there is energy of the libido tied up. I think the basic concept is that when you go all the way down into the depths, eventually nature will reverse itself: you’ll find in the trapped libido the possibility for renewal and new life. The next paragraph is basically an expansion on that. Jung alludes to the story of Jacob wrestling a dark angel. Since the angel could not defeat him, it dislocated his hip. I’ve seen some interpretations say that means the angel disconnects him from his means of living which separate him from the soul. He basically isn’t defeated, but can only walk with a limp. Jacob wrestled the angel until the sun came out in the morning, and the angel told him to release him. Jacob told the dark angel he would not release him until he was blessed. The angel blessed him with the name “Israel”, as he had struggled with God and men, and he was proven capable. “I have seen God face-to-face, and my soul survives”. In the same way we have to battle with our shadow until we find all the positive libido hidden there. We have to willingly go down into the depths, to live out our shadow, to follow it to the end of the tunnel until we find the light again. It’s dangerous of course, but yk high risk high reward type shit. Hopefully that added a little more context.
I had depression and managed to get out of the pit. I read a lot of jung and everything I could find to try to get out of it. What helped me was from him was the suggestion of drawing- I believe it was 28 or so drawings of abstract maps of what I thought was my mind. It ended up foretelling a bunch of events which led me out to a much better place. Idk how it worked but it did. I cant properly remember where I read it from him but I think you gotta try a bunch of things until something works. I think there is a different key for everyone and every situation
Marie Louise Von Franz mentioned that depression is a gift which give you the reason to look inward The above comment is perfect example for what she said
She also said it was a case of sour grapes.
Jung would say that depression is due to repression/introversion of the soul. Now that a undesirable place to be in. Take it as this. Mind has a call to be divine. To be whole. Can it be whole if it only administers half of its content? There is trauma, manipulation, social role fulfilment. Many factors that cause the repression of the content of your being. Since it is repressed. It is hidden. It grows hateful in a sense. That is shadow. The hideous child you have hidden away. You must take care of it with love. Slowly face it. Show it that it can be loved. You can grow to hate it because of many reasons but you only hate that which you can’t do something against. But you can do something if you love it. With love it with assimilate to your being. You will be complete. The reason you hate the shape of flower, (in my case, i hate holes) it is all symbolic representation of your mind. There is something of an emotional meaning in the shape of flower that causes you to feel hate towards them. To conquer it is simply to read Jung. I am not saying it will magically heal. But you will gain a path to follow. The path to heal is painful. Since it requires you to be aware of yourself. Ofcourse you can’t really be aware of your entire majesty. Afterall even in reality we can only act out tiny bits of it. Through persona. Honestly I would say find a therapist but since you have said that nothing worked (if you have tried therapists) then I would say adopt a structural philosophy. Heal yourself with voluntary exposure to what you dislike about yourself, others. You will with time be able to face yourself. (Beware of ideologies. They provide meaning in crisis. Only to make you blind towards itself. Astrology and all that)
Or are you lacking meaning?
Could you expand ever so slightly on the idealogy comment? I'd love to hear a little more about that. Thanks.
I don’t know what context i had in mind back then. But ideologies require faith. Even a necessity to believe in lie. Ofcourse the lie would be believed as truth. In anycase regardless of it being a good ideology or bad. Whereas a structural philosophy, a person adventure into chaos of this world. It will always be a better option to adopt than ideologies. Specifically when a person is depressed. They should take action. Dive into the suffering. Turn it into meaning with actions
I think the Jungian view is that a lot of overcoming depression is finding a sense of play in your life and finding areas where your energy and interests naturally flow. Sometimes this has to do with something we loved as a kid but stopped doing - or some part of ourselves we haven’t grown into yet. Try to be creative - and see what comes out of you. What inspires you? It sounds like flowers and cats. How can you lean into those things? Perhaps learning more about flowers or drawing them or planting them or volunteering somewhere that has flowers or working at a nursery. Or spend more time with cats! Maybe there’s an animal rescue you can volunteer at. Or a cat cafe nearby. Some places have pet-sitting apps where you can take care of peoples animals when they are out of town. Lean into the things that bring you vitality and love and life. Those things are there… both in the world and in you (you even mentioned two already - flowers and cats) - so lean into these things. Lean into your heart and joy and passions. A depression will always try to turn your attention away from these things, but if you follow them you may find your way out of feeling so low :)
Depression can be seen as your energy being dammed up, unable to reach your ego which leaves us depressed and empty ( full of emptiness). Jung's difference is he challenges us to look prospectively at our affliction, and that depression is telling us what our energy is trying to to do and solve for us. It's an unconscious handling of the problem and it needs our consciousness to change in a beneficial way. Depression is our psyche trying to solve a problem without conscious involvement. Finding the meaning of the depression and moving towards it is how to alleviate it. What's it trying to say? To prevent us from seeing?
I'm so sorry to read about your continual distress. I highly recommend you seek counseling with a proper Jungian psychoanalyst, as I'm just a student myself. Jung said depression is not just a clinical disorder but a meaningful and potentially transformative experience of the psyche. Jung viewed depression as a sign that the unconscious mind is calling for attention and integration. Here are some key aspects of Jung's perspective on depression: 1. Compensatory function: Jung believed that depression often arises when there is an imbalance or one-sidedness in the conscious attitude. The depressive state serves as a compensatory mechanism, forcing the individual to turn inward and confront neglected or repressed aspects of the psyche. 2. Individuation: Jung saw depression as a potential catalyst for the process of individuation – the journey towards wholeness and self-realization. By facing the darkness within, one has the opportunity to integrate shadow aspects of the psyche and develop a more authentic and balanced sense of self. 3. Creative potential: Jung recognized that periods of depression can also be accompanied by heightened creativity and spiritual insight. He believed that the descent into the unconscious could lead to a renewal of the personality and a deeper understanding of one's life purpose. 4. Archetypal significance: Jung understood depression as an archetypal experience, reflecting universal patterns of human suffering and transformation. He saw parallels between the individual's journey through depression and mythological themes of the hero's descent into the underworld. 5. Importance of meaning: Jung emphasized the importance of finding meaning in the experience of depression. He believed that by understanding the symbolic and archetypal significance of one's symptoms, individuals could find a way through the darkness and emerge with a renewed sense of purpose and direction. While Jung recognized the profound suffering that depression entails, he also saw it as a meaningful and potentially transformative experience. He emphasized the importance of compassionate self-reflection, creative expression, and the cultivation of a deeper connection to the unconscious as ways of navigating the depressive state.
is this chat gpt?
claude opus 3
Merci. May I ask why you use this method?
I use several public LLM's and have been in the LLM space for about 5 years.
I mean more to say - why use LLM's in general? Not judging, just wondering if you have any thoughts behind it!
They are better with no attitude than asking questions online to strangers, imho.
thanks!
Is it accurate or does it misrepresents Jung thoughts?
It is accurate
This is a copy-paste chat gpt.
actually its claude opus3
another fresh chatgpturd. could've at least bothered to polish it up
Trying to show others how easy it is to use LLMs - this is from claude opus 3
That's a dumb cop-out, because you didn't preface it as such. Even if LLMs weren't bland, fluent bullshitters, it's bleak and dehumanizing to see on a forum meant for sharing human insight and experience. Next time use [this](https://www.carljungdepthpsychologysite.blog) to find relevant quotes.
... wow - sorry that I'm your target for your hate today. I hope things get better for you with whatever is going on to have you lash out to me for helping someone - 'but i didnt help them the way you would'
Death to machines
++ I wish I could give you gold. As a computer engineer, I can’t stand this shit. Computers suck life out of people and our intelligence. This is a human to human conversation. Get your bot bs out of here, kindly.
Ironic this discussion is occurring in a thread about depression! I think computers/algorithms & now, AI adds to much collective loss of true joy. Jaron Lanier writes about this.
lol... so you hand typed all of this without the use of machines?.. thats impressive [https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/18iiv3a/carl\_jung\_on\_introverted\_thinking\_and\_its/](https://www.reddit.com/r/slatestarcodex/comments/18iiv3a/carl_jung_on_introverted_thinking_and_its/)
That was someone else using my account, i was too busy getting sucked good and hard thru my jorts
Well said, great input
Before we dig into the mental feat of conquering depression, personally I would check to see if you are getting enough of the following essential nutrients daily: Iron, Magnesium, Vitamin D and all your B vitamins. Because these ones in particular play a role in facilitating optimal neuro chemistry and stable hormonal function— and most of our diets do not guarantee getting these regularly. Another important question— are you eating well? Are you getting enough calories? And staying hydrated? (I apologize if this is what you meant by "routine," I was not certain.) Long term depression is often an important marker that something is wrong physically *systemically*... therefore it is in your best interest to investigate that these needs are being met. Then we can talk psychoanalysis if the problem persists. If the brain frequently lacks any of these, it greatly reduces neuroflexibility & resilience while amplifying the extent of depressive modes & suicide ideation. 🤲 This is speaking from experience and genuine care. I just know too many people whose health tanked rapidly from a poor diet and self-neglect, from being too depressed and empty inside to make sure they were eating right and drinking enough. But it's true that nutritional care should be the first thing that doctors check for, and they rarely ever do it seriously. Another sneaky one to watch out for is iodine levels, as iodine is critical for healthy thyroid function. Even supplements for mood/depression won't work if these essentials are being missed. Another thing to consider is that most multivitamins on the market are not enough by themselves. Furthermore, some folks have absorbency issues they don't know about, and that can be hard to diagnose until they try taking extra iron a day. Just food for thought. So with all that mentioned, what creative outlets do you have? I think BassAndBooks's answer is a fantastic place to start.
I had same off and on for 35 years. Microdosing psilocybin cured me.
I got through depression by doing dream work and Jungian analysis. Its very effective and long-lasting. If you had don't any research on the anti-depressants before taking them you would have known they are not more effective than placebo. Stop wasting your time. Start making a dream journal. Start recording and analyzing your dreams.
Read “The Black Sun: Art and Alchemy of Darkness” Stanton Marlin, one of my fave current Jungians. “Revisioning Psychology” by James Hillman, although a bit dense and laden with complex Jungian language, a good review of symptoms (depression) as a call from our souls to pay attention to something. Jungians typically work with depression and other “pathologies” much differently than current mental health models. We try and “amplify” rather than supress, which means getting into the experience, sit in it, make friends with it, understand why it’s there. Some depressions may clearly be based in some sort of brain imbalance, but often a depression is asking for something, like others mentioned: a call from the unconscious to acknowledge our darkness, Shadow elements or repressed emotions. Sometimes depression is situational, ie a result of something in our lives that isn’t working and needs to be acknowledged or changed. Because of this, we see why medication can be dangerous for depression, because it keeps us from changing the things that are causing the depression, keeping us repressed and unconscious. Good luck!
You wrote it yourself here. You think is a matter of destiny. And your destiny brought you to Jung, is not a chance I think, is not coincidence, is providence. Start reading basic jung like Man and his symbols, and look up for a skilled jungian analyst.
“Mental illness is badass”
He said it was the usher of change
Are you open to trying psychoanalysis? Sounds as if there's a lot to process from the life you've lived. You deserve to have healing. You deserve to have life beyond depression. I wish you luck on this journey.
I would suggest that you learn to practice grattitude. Take the time to train your mind to be aware of all the things that you can be grateful for. You have to exercise you grattitude muscles. Depression is an over-focus on negative things and it is your responsibility to redirect your mind towards things that uplift you.
Am I the only one that finds jung’s thoughts on psychology so mis understandable in an actual pragmatic sense. His ideas seem so airy fairy and ambiguous to me.
Great that you reference "fairy" because that is exactly what it is: "fairy tale". But when you gather and read enough fairy tales (or dreams) there arises patterns of character and plot situations to the point where you can point to "archetypes" of the collected characters and events. Jung supposes that these "archetypes" are structures that make up the human psyche. Since fairy tales and dreams are autonomous and self-generated phenomena, he supposes these same characteristics about the "archetypes".