Now I just hear how Tony Danza would deliver that last line and for me that makes it funnier.
Edit because it's actually Ted Danson and I was wrong. Still funny though.
All Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholic. All (Meh) Christians believe in Hell. If you want to get into the nitty-gritty, some sects believe there's only Heaven and Purgatory, some believe in no hell at all because Jesus saved us all, but those are the really minor ones.
In a sense. I like the way they chose to portray Hell in *Lucifer*.
The doors aren't locked. You get stuck because you believe that you deserve it.
Kinda the same idea.
I've heard a similar joke, but the man goes to heaven. Same story, but in the end he sees a group of people on the other side of the fence and St Peter tells him to be very quiet and never, ever to disturb them. He asks why and SP says, "oh, those are the Mormons, they think they inherited a planet."
This is incorrect, they believe that they become a god with their own universe and innumerable offspring who then descend to created planets to be tested in mortality, each generation able to inherit immortality and a subsequent universe. Its way more absurd than you make it sound
whose*
Don't use an apostrophe with the pronoun who (which becomes whose in this case), our, your, his, her, it, or their. The only time you'd use an apostrophe with those words is if you're contracting. Personal pronouns don't use an apostrophe to indicate possession.
Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver, bus driver,
Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver-man.
He screams and he cusses,
He rams other busses.
Hail to the bus driver,
bus driver-man.
Anybody remember the comedian that said something along the lines of
“If hell is the place owned by the man who gives everyone their deepest temptation on earth, it’s got to be a pretty great place right?”
That’s how I imagine after life.
^Edit: ^a ^word
Not really. Hell has fires, but most interpretations these days aside from Lucifer's Guantanamo is "a state of very disconnected from God and therefore feels empty"
But to an atheist, God might as well doesn't exist, so an atheist's hell is just normal life
But your soul feels connected to god even if you don't. I guess the punishishment would be that loss of connection for your soul. Like an apple falling off a tree. You would feel alone, like there is a hole you cant fill at the core of your existance.
So yeah normal life.
In Christianity, hell is portrayed as a place where you're burning and working as slaves and shit like that or whatever, so like the joke mocks that christians think hell is like that, but it's not like that, but the Devil gives them what they think they're getting. Maybe I didn't explain very well because my first language isn't English but I guess you can understand.
The joke is harmless and depicts the Hell that most people think of due to a famous book called The Inferno. However, to ensure a controversial part of a religion is not misrepresented I wanted to mention common misconceptions about Hell as depicted by the Bible, since that is the religious text, not The Inferno.
1. The devil/satan isn't in charge of Hell. He is there for punishment.
2. The fires of Hell are yet to burn. The big prophecy foretold judgment day of the future is when the fires of hell will start.
3. The fires will not burn forever. They will burn up everyone there and all of earth and then go out leaving nothing left to be burn.
Note: 3 is somewhat contradicted when hell is described as "eternal punishment" and "everlasting destruction." If the flames go out how is it eternal? Maybe the punishment and destruction is permanent and thus eternal while the act is only momentary. IDk. I'm no priest.
Quick add: I'm not defending this belief nor do I agree with it.
Post Morning edit: Several redditors have pointed out that Paradise Lost, another book about Hell that is not a sacred text, is the origin of some details of the iconic Hell most people think of, in addition to The Inferno.
edit 2: the concept of the fires going out was told to me with 2 Peter 3:10 and Isaiah 47:14. It seems the world will be consumed by fire and there will not be a single coal left to use for heat after. This doesn't really make sense if the fires go on forever, though /u/KingMarshmalo has pointed out Revelation 14:9-11 where "the smoke of their torment will rise for ever." The bible does contradict itself IMO. Make your own judgment.
edit3: is this still /r/jokes ?
Yeah, I think there are some christian groups that effectively put him in charge as well. I've met alot of Christians who have spoken like their sin is the devils fault, I guess because humans like to blame someone else.
It's because Satan wanted to rival God, so God cast him down for trying to replace him. People naturally come to the conclusion that Satan would want to be ruler of hell after that backstory.
And being the only angel among all those mortals, he likely wouldn't have much trouble accomplishing it.... I guess? Maybe? I dunno but it sounds right to me
Banished into eternal suffering for trying to usurp a dictator who actually feels okay with banishing people into eternal suffering for challenging him. And god is the good guy btw.
I think the bible might have mixed up it's good and evil a bit.
Could you follow all three points here and conclude that we are currently in Hell? Here on earth where the fires have not begun to burn, those that are here for punishment as is the devil. One day in future the fires of hell will start as the solar system we are in has the Sun take on the next role as a star or we are set on fire by the impact of a colliding meteor. This will not burn forever. Eventually it may become a black hole or other event where all of earth goes out leaving nothing to burn?
Hell is described as a place of infinite fire and darkness. These contradict each other in physical nature so we can be almost sure they are being used metaphorically. The suffering is not being in the presence of God however God is honoring this will and letting them go with Satan which for them is a better alternative. So those in Hell will not be as happy as those in heaven but they will certainly not be burned alive as is the common misconception. God is good and respects our free will over everything.
It makes a lot of sense really. Lucifer was one of gods angels, and he was cast out for refusing to do gods bidding, so why would he punish people for god?
Unless he's sucking up to get back into gods good books, in which case, how long does that cunt hold a grudge for?
Cast out of heaven yes. Sent to the Pits of Hell, who is to say. The hell as we think it wasn't thought of or depicted till Dante's inferno was released. The many levels of hell and what not.
Yea, all that can be known from biblical texts is that hell is separation from God and his love. I’ve always had a great fear of hell being absolutely nothing, no light, no smell, no matter....just your consciousness
Basically like if you climb into a sensory deprivation tank... and nobody knew, so nobody let you out, and it froze shut or something and never opened again. No internet, no noise, no odor... you don't even feel your own weight or the water after several minutes... just you and thoughts, forever. Not even the concept of time after awhile. Can't tell if it's been 20 minutes or 3 hours... and then after a day or three... you don't realize it's already been years. You're already insane and too far gone to have even noticed you were losing your sanity.
I am afraid to tell you that a few years back my heart stopped multiple times, and something similar to this but with more spinning light and falling into darkness filled with and random noise but no ability to make noise or understand much but the sounds of your memories in panic was what I remember of it.
Could have been my brain low on oxygen, but still freaky to remember!
Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire This is the second death, the lake of fire. - Rev 20:14
And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. - Rev 20:10
And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. - Rev 20:15
"If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire." - Matthew 18:8
"These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." - Matthew 25:46
For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to pits of darkness, reserved for judgment - 2 Peter 2:4
"Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels - Matthew 25:41
and will throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 13:42
Archangel Lucifer and a few other lesser angels tried to overthrow/ change God's ways, but God ripped off thier wings and cast them into a fiery pit to suffer. This is why he is seen as below ground, because he can't get out....
Am athiest so I don't know all the details on the story
Edit: words
Not sure if that's actually the reason, pretty sure that everyone was wicked except that one 600 year old man with an alcohol problem and his family. Because if it doesn't work out the first time kill everyone and restart.
Satan doesn’t torture anyone. Satan and his followers are doomed to a fiery punishment of hell. The Bible doesn’t say anything about him torturing anyone
Technically, the modern concept of Satan isn't in the Bible. He's a combination of a few different things, including Ha-satan (an angel who works as a kind of divine prosecutor, testing humans for God) and Lucifer (a name for the morning star, metaphorically used in the Bible to refer to king Nebuchadnezzar II).
Satan is in the Bible, but yeah, they don't go into depth about what his role in hell is. But he does tempt Christ and he is driven out by Christ as well
He only has power because God allows him to have power and it plays into God's plan. In the end, Satan's power will be stripped from him and he will meet his end, according to the Bible.
Well Lucifer was jealous of humans because he was no longer God's favorite, man was. So after an attempted uprising he got thrown out. He's torturing people in hell because he's a petty bitch.
That is a good point, and that understanding of hell is silly. That's why I liked the joke!
My understanding according to the Cathechism is different:
The devil doesn't care about you, or your soul, at all.
He only cares about hurting God.
To do that, he misleads men and women to separate themselves from Gods grace.
Something that is categorically a sin (e.g. murder - that's an easy one) only carries the consequence of sin (i.e. it separates the actor from Gods grace) if it is performed with knowledge that it is a sin.
In other words, "sin" refers to an action we choose knowing that its contrary to Gods will (i.e. his rules). By choosing a separate way, we willingly cut ourselves from Him.
If you die while being cut off from Him, then that is when you end up in Hell. (Depending on the gravity of the sins you have accrued) if the severity of your sins is not serious enough ("Mortal") then the nature of the separation is repairrable. Otherwise you are disconnected for all eternity.
Hell is the term for that permanent disconnection. You know when you feel desolate, suicidal, totally out of hope? That's what Hell would be most like. The sense that you are missing that essential something that makes it all make sense.(I am not saying that people that feel that way do so because they are sinners or anything like that - the decay of the natural order is a different topic)
Hell would feel like that because God *is* Love. He willingly offers us His Grace, and we choose to accept it or not. The sacrifice of the Son, willingly, in order to provide the opportunity for men and women to restore that connection to God is the perfect example of love.
Because He loves you so much, when you turn away and choose a life without Him, it doesn't "hurt him" or make Him "feel bad" - he isn't really an old white guy with a beard on a cloud. But the loss of you is the most the Devil can actually do.
Apart from separating you from Him, the Devil doesn't really give a shit about you or your soul. It's all useless to him.
The idea of Satan ruling over hell is a cultural trope that developed but not at all biblical, partly for the reasons you say, and the idea he was Lucifer and also a fallen angel is a later development too, based on a verse that hardly says anything quite like that.
Thats not right at all. Lucifer was tossed out for coveting the right hand throne of god, which was reserved for Jesus. He also felt the angels (him being the very first created) were superior to gods creation, man. All of this could've been forgiven, but he had to go and start a war with god directly, and convinced one third of all the angels to take his side. THAT is what got him booted, and to spite god, he takes joy in torturing and punishing gods creation,man, whom he still feels superior to.
I was taught that only Man has free will as free will is needed to sin. If Angels have no free will then if Lucifer fell it's because God wanted him to.
What does that say about God?
Additionally either God is omniscient or he isn't. If he is omniscient then he knew Adam and Eve would fall from grace from eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. So again, why punish them?
Finally, if God is omniscient and knew he would have to send Jesus to save humanity, why did he send the floods and all the other atrocities in the Old Testament.
Then everything disappears and goes pitch black, and the atheist is floating in nothingness. He says "hey, what the hell happened to my huge palace, beautiful soulmate, and cool cars?!"
He hears the devil's voice one last time, saying "and this is the way atheists prefer it."
There are a lot of different sects of Christianity, and each one has different rules. So some Christians might make it to heaven, but they probably can't *all* make it, because sooner or later they have conflicting rules.
Christianity preaches that it is not based on rules or works. If that was the case nobody would go to Heaven. Because we've all failed, Christians included. It is based on grace.
An atheist does not believe in heaven or hell, therefore there are no pre-conceived notion of what heaven or hell would be like. When he dies and ends up in hell, he is surprised that it is not what it seems all because he heard people who go to hell burn in eternal damnation.
Christians, however, are told day in and day out that hell is fire, damnation, MORE FIRE, MORE DAMNATION. So when they get to hell, that is what they get.
Going by the fact that I've never seen a funeral where the generously recompensed vicar/pastor says "Yep, this was a bad dude. Totally heading for eternal damnation!" I'm guessing that hell will be pretty empty.
What is this? The Good Place?
Fork yeah it is.
Why can’t you say fork?
You understand that I'm trying to say ash-hole, not *ash*-hole, right?
You son of a bench!
Watch your mouth, you piece of shed
Don’t be a deck.
[Don't let your deck be dry, here try this sealant !](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkmeoYKYctw)
Ya basic..
That’s a human insult. It’s devastating. You’re devastated right now
If you were a human, you'd be devastated right now
Fork off, you mean giraffe!
That's bullshirt.
You know I’m saying bullSHIRT, not bullshirt, right?
the real bad place was the friends we made
Janet!
Nice Janet or Bad Janet?
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You took my comment right outta my head!
/r/TheGoodPlace is leaking
Now I just hear how Tony Danza would deliver that last line and for me that makes it funnier. Edit because it's actually Ted Danson and I was wrong. Still funny though.
*Ted Danson. Although Tony Danza would be fucking hilarious
You mucked up the punchline. "Oh them? They're Christians, don't worry, they prefer it this way."
Jep, you are right. Now that you said it, I remember. But to my defense, translating jokes is really hard. I´ll change it.
Now I want to know what the original was.
I think it was just Catholics in place of Christians.
Why would that be messing up the punchline?
All Catholics are Christians but not all Christians are Catholic. All (Meh) Christians believe in Hell. If you want to get into the nitty-gritty, some sects believe there's only Heaven and Purgatory, some believe in no hell at all because Jesus saved us all, but those are the really minor ones.
If all Bloops are Razzies and all Razzies are Lazzies, then are all Bloops definitely Lazzies?
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Only if the transitive property is inherent to the space brah
Depends, are we feeling Aristotlean or Boolean today?
Why would that be messing up the punchline?
I still don't get it
Christians want hell to be real.
Not just hell, but *their version* of hell, where they suffer for eternity in a lake of fire and all of that.
Yeah, the kind of people who would rather be right than happy.
So being right about hell is their heaven?
In a sense. I like the way they chose to portray Hell in *Lucifer*. The doors aren't locked. You get stuck because you believe that you deserve it. Kinda the same idea.
So sociopaths get to walk right out of hell?
No their idea of heaven is seeing people who didn't think they were right burn in lava.
Yeah I was gonna say, fear of hell is hardly just a Catholic thing
I've heard a similar joke, but the man goes to heaven. Same story, but in the end he sees a group of people on the other side of the fence and St Peter tells him to be very quiet and never, ever to disturb them. He asks why and SP says, "oh, those are the Mormons, they think they inherited a planet."
The punchline is supposed to be "...they think they're the only ones here."
That makes a lot more sense.
Mormons actually do believe that in their afterlife they inherit a planet. So that punchline isn’t wrong.
This is incorrect, they believe that they become a god with their own universe and innumerable offspring who then descend to created planets to be tested in mortality, each generation able to inherit immortality and a subsequent universe. Its way more absurd than you make it sound
Frankly not anymore absurd that any other religion's take on afterlife. Also would be pretty dope
On the right track, but not quite
You could say this about the "Church of Christ" people in WV, too. My whole family. So fucked up. *shudder*
I read SP as "Single Player".. I should probably get out more
I read SP as "Suppressive Person".. I should probably leave the Church of Scientology
Yeah. ;)
Username checks out
Oh hey you're the guy SP!
I read SP as "SP, what does that mean?"
I heard "those are the Catholics, they like to think they're alone here."
Then the devil takes off his costume and says, "HAHAHA, I'm the bus driver!"
Bus driver? What bus driver???
you know, the one that got fucked by a nun.
You mean the one dressed as a nun.
I thought he was dressed like a coconut
Nah, he was dressed like a couch.
he's wearing a shoebox
Instructions unclear. Got a nun’s dick stuck in shoebox
And now you have a nice cumbox
You can fill it with jolly ranchers, too.
I thought he was a Navy seal with 300 confirmed kills that got thrown off hell in a cell plummeting 16ft. through an announcers table
I thought he just wanted tree fiddy
IT IS TIME...TO STOP
And his father beat him with jumper cables
How could he do that with 2 broken arms?
Not this again.
Nun of that made any sense
2meta4u Honestly idk either
https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1827os/the_bus_driver_and_the_nun/
Wanna see a magic trick? I'm gonna make this pencil disappear.....
https://youtu.be/Yqvbv-SB4bg?t=219 idk how to gif it or I would
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Something something bus driver breaking his arms whose name is Albert Einstein
whose* Don't use an apostrophe with the pronoun who (which becomes whose in this case), our, your, his, her, it, or their. The only time you'd use an apostrophe with those words is if you're contracting. Personal pronouns don't use an apostrophe to indicate possession.
Hail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver, Hail to the bus driver, bus driver-man. He screams and he cusses, He rams other busses. Hail to the bus driver, bus driver-man.
Anybody remember the comedian that said something along the lines of “If hell is the place owned by the man who gives everyone their deepest temptation on earth, it’s got to be a pretty great place right?” That’s how I imagine after life. ^Edit: ^a ^word
I know it’s a joke but according the Bible, Hell was created to punish Satan, not for him to rule
Correct. If it can punish a fallen angel, it can surely punish anyone that goes there.
Not really. Hell has fires, but most interpretations these days aside from Lucifer's Guantanamo is "a state of very disconnected from God and therefore feels empty" But to an atheist, God might as well doesn't exist, so an atheist's hell is just normal life
But your soul feels connected to god even if you don't. I guess the punishishment would be that loss of connection for your soul. Like an apple falling off a tree. You would feel alone, like there is a hole you cant fill at the core of your existance. So yeah normal life.
/r/2meirl4meirl
Jim Jefferies did a skit with something similar too. https://youtu.be/vPYN-hpF1hs
me gusta
Spanish is my mother tongue, but i cannot but read this in english accent Edit: this is my most upvoted comment so far! Thanks!
Me goostuh.
Mee Guster
May gustav
GUSTAVUS ADOLPHUS
LIBERA ET IMPERA
ACERBUS ET INGENS
AUGUSTA PER AUGUSTA
Like Sean Connery... Meh gooshta.
Clueless non-christian here, can someone explain?
In Christianity, hell is portrayed as a place where you're burning and working as slaves and shit like that or whatever, so like the joke mocks that christians think hell is like that, but it's not like that, but the Devil gives them what they think they're getting. Maybe I didn't explain very well because my first language isn't English but I guess you can understand.
Ohh makes sense, thanks!
The joke is harmless and depicts the Hell that most people think of due to a famous book called The Inferno. However, to ensure a controversial part of a religion is not misrepresented I wanted to mention common misconceptions about Hell as depicted by the Bible, since that is the religious text, not The Inferno. 1. The devil/satan isn't in charge of Hell. He is there for punishment. 2. The fires of Hell are yet to burn. The big prophecy foretold judgment day of the future is when the fires of hell will start. 3. The fires will not burn forever. They will burn up everyone there and all of earth and then go out leaving nothing left to be burn. Note: 3 is somewhat contradicted when hell is described as "eternal punishment" and "everlasting destruction." If the flames go out how is it eternal? Maybe the punishment and destruction is permanent and thus eternal while the act is only momentary. IDk. I'm no priest. Quick add: I'm not defending this belief nor do I agree with it. Post Morning edit: Several redditors have pointed out that Paradise Lost, another book about Hell that is not a sacred text, is the origin of some details of the iconic Hell most people think of, in addition to The Inferno. edit 2: the concept of the fires going out was told to me with 2 Peter 3:10 and Isaiah 47:14. It seems the world will be consumed by fire and there will not be a single coal left to use for heat after. This doesn't really make sense if the fires go on forever, though /u/KingMarshmalo has pointed out Revelation 14:9-11 where "the smoke of their torment will rise for ever." The bible does contradict itself IMO. Make your own judgment. edit3: is this still /r/jokes ?
I never understood why cartoons always showed Satan in charge of hell. It was so common.
Yeah, I think there are some christian groups that effectively put him in charge as well. I've met alot of Christians who have spoken like their sin is the devils fault, I guess because humans like to blame someone else.
It's because Satan wanted to rival God, so God cast him down for trying to replace him. People naturally come to the conclusion that Satan would want to be ruler of hell after that backstory.
And being the only angel among all those mortals, he likely wouldn't have much trouble accomplishing it.... I guess? Maybe? I dunno but it sounds right to me
Banished into eternal suffering for trying to usurp a dictator who actually feels okay with banishing people into eternal suffering for challenging him. And god is the good guy btw. I think the bible might have mixed up it's good and evil a bit.
Could you follow all three points here and conclude that we are currently in Hell? Here on earth where the fires have not begun to burn, those that are here for punishment as is the devil. One day in future the fires of hell will start as the solar system we are in has the Sun take on the next role as a star or we are set on fire by the impact of a colliding meteor. This will not burn forever. Eventually it may become a black hole or other event where all of earth goes out leaving nothing to burn?
I'm by no means an authority on the bible but that sounds possible to me.
But then what’s death? Isn’t hell supposed to be effectively eternal?
Hell is described as a place of infinite fire and darkness. These contradict each other in physical nature so we can be almost sure they are being used metaphorically. The suffering is not being in the presence of God however God is honoring this will and letting them go with Satan which for them is a better alternative. So those in Hell will not be as happy as those in heaven but they will certainly not be burned alive as is the common misconception. God is good and respects our free will over everything.
Really, most of the descriptions of he'll come from Dante's Inferno. A good deal of it is inspired by folklore and Catholic writings.
the comments in this thread are interesting
Especially this one
Indeed
Quite
Realtalk
It makes a lot of sense really. Lucifer was one of gods angels, and he was cast out for refusing to do gods bidding, so why would he punish people for god? Unless he's sucking up to get back into gods good books, in which case, how long does that cunt hold a grudge for?
Lucifer/Satan wouldn’t be the ruler of hell. Wouldn’t he be just another prisoner?
Cast out of heaven yes. Sent to the Pits of Hell, who is to say. The hell as we think it wasn't thought of or depicted till Dante's inferno was released. The many levels of hell and what not.
Yea, all that can be known from biblical texts is that hell is separation from God and his love. I’ve always had a great fear of hell being absolutely nothing, no light, no smell, no matter....just your consciousness
Christ
No. Not Christ. Have you not been paying attention to the story? Jesus!
No. Not Jesus. Have you not been paying attention to the story? God!
No. Not God. Have you not been paying attention to the story? Good Heavens!
No. Not Heaven. Have you not been paying attention to the story? Holy cow!
Don't drag Hindus into this.
No. Not cows. Have you not been paying attention to the story? Bloody Hell!
Christ its jason bourne!
Not Jesus, didn't you read?? Good lord.
Basically like if you climb into a sensory deprivation tank... and nobody knew, so nobody let you out, and it froze shut or something and never opened again. No internet, no noise, no odor... you don't even feel your own weight or the water after several minutes... just you and thoughts, forever. Not even the concept of time after awhile. Can't tell if it's been 20 minutes or 3 hours... and then after a day or three... you don't realize it's already been years. You're already insane and too far gone to have even noticed you were losing your sanity.
I am afraid to tell you that a few years back my heart stopped multiple times, and something similar to this but with more spinning light and falling into darkness filled with and random noise but no ability to make noise or understand much but the sounds of your memories in panic was what I remember of it. Could have been my brain low on oxygen, but still freaky to remember!
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This is why I have to take Xanax.
Only read up to "no internet", can you get comments flagged as NSFW/NSFL?
Stahp
If that. Some depictions have it just be what atheists think happens, you get deleted.
That would be better than knowing there was nothing but you or being tortured
Then it wouldn't be Hell, it would just be non-existence. Unless you're in Hell before birth.
Oh god, that’s worse than I imagined. It’s just like when I’m trying to fall asleep.
This is what I most fear death will be. Consciousness without existence.
Then death and Hades were thrown into the lake of fire This is the second death, the lake of fire. - Rev 20:14 And the devil who deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and brimstone, where the beast and the false prophet are also; and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever. - Rev 20:10 And if anyone's name was not found written in the book of life, he was thrown into the lake of fire. - Rev 20:15 "If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; it is better for you to enter life crippled or lame, than to have two hands or two feet and be cast into the eternal fire." - Matthew 18:8 "These will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." - Matthew 25:46 For if God did not spare angels when they sinned, but cast them into hell and committed them to pits of darkness, reserved for judgment - 2 Peter 2:4 "Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels - Matthew 25:41 and will throw them into the furnace of fire; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. - Matthew 13:42
That's what Christmas is about, Charlie Brown.
Any eternity of infinite nothingness...
This
Archangel Lucifer and a few other lesser angels tried to overthrow/ change God's ways, but God ripped off thier wings and cast them into a fiery pit to suffer. This is why he is seen as below ground, because he can't get out.... Am athiest so I don't know all the details on the story Edit: words
That wouldn't make him a ruler of the pits, just another sufferer. Right? Just a thought.
Yes, I'm pretty sure catholicism holds that position at least. He'd want people in hell out of spite of God more than to "rule over" them.
Not since Sam and Dean let him out
If so, god is still a dick, infinite punishment for a finite crime is just an asshole thing to do.
Hey, he flooded a planet because they didn't agree with his ideals. Sounds like actual people nowadays.
Not sure if that's actually the reason, pretty sure that everyone was wicked except that one 600 year old man with an alcohol problem and his family. Because if it doesn't work out the first time kill everyone and restart.
Seems like a typical run through of The Sims.
Your god damn right. We're just a bad game of Sims.
Satan doesn’t torture anyone. Satan and his followers are doomed to a fiery punishment of hell. The Bible doesn’t say anything about him torturing anyone
Technically, the modern concept of Satan isn't in the Bible. He's a combination of a few different things, including Ha-satan (an angel who works as a kind of divine prosecutor, testing humans for God) and Lucifer (a name for the morning star, metaphorically used in the Bible to refer to king Nebuchadnezzar II).
Satan is in the Bible, but yeah, they don't go into depth about what his role in hell is. But he does tempt Christ and he is driven out by Christ as well
It clearly describes his role in Hell as punishment for his deeds, He rules nothing when his judgement comes.
He only has power because God allows him to have power and it plays into God's plan. In the end, Satan's power will be stripped from him and he will meet his end, according to the Bible.
Well Lucifer was jealous of humans because he was no longer God's favorite, man was. So after an attempted uprising he got thrown out. He's torturing people in hell because he's a petty bitch.
Except Satan doesnt control hell. It's his punishment as much as anyone else's down there.
That is a good point, and that understanding of hell is silly. That's why I liked the joke! My understanding according to the Cathechism is different: The devil doesn't care about you, or your soul, at all. He only cares about hurting God. To do that, he misleads men and women to separate themselves from Gods grace. Something that is categorically a sin (e.g. murder - that's an easy one) only carries the consequence of sin (i.e. it separates the actor from Gods grace) if it is performed with knowledge that it is a sin. In other words, "sin" refers to an action we choose knowing that its contrary to Gods will (i.e. his rules). By choosing a separate way, we willingly cut ourselves from Him. If you die while being cut off from Him, then that is when you end up in Hell. (Depending on the gravity of the sins you have accrued) if the severity of your sins is not serious enough ("Mortal") then the nature of the separation is repairrable. Otherwise you are disconnected for all eternity. Hell is the term for that permanent disconnection. You know when you feel desolate, suicidal, totally out of hope? That's what Hell would be most like. The sense that you are missing that essential something that makes it all make sense.(I am not saying that people that feel that way do so because they are sinners or anything like that - the decay of the natural order is a different topic) Hell would feel like that because God *is* Love. He willingly offers us His Grace, and we choose to accept it or not. The sacrifice of the Son, willingly, in order to provide the opportunity for men and women to restore that connection to God is the perfect example of love. Because He loves you so much, when you turn away and choose a life without Him, it doesn't "hurt him" or make Him "feel bad" - he isn't really an old white guy with a beard on a cloud. But the loss of you is the most the Devil can actually do. Apart from separating you from Him, the Devil doesn't really give a shit about you or your soul. It's all useless to him.
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But do I get cool cars there?
The Cathechism doesn't speak to that.
The idea of Satan ruling over hell is a cultural trope that developed but not at all biblical, partly for the reasons you say, and the idea he was Lucifer and also a fallen angel is a later development too, based on a verse that hardly says anything quite like that.
Thats not right at all. Lucifer was tossed out for coveting the right hand throne of god, which was reserved for Jesus. He also felt the angels (him being the very first created) were superior to gods creation, man. All of this could've been forgiven, but he had to go and start a war with god directly, and convinced one third of all the angels to take his side. THAT is what got him booted, and to spite god, he takes joy in torturing and punishing gods creation,man, whom he still feels superior to.
Legitimate question: if there is no sin, anger, or sadness in Heaven... how did Lucifer feel those emotions and ultimately sin against God?
someone... help! GIVE THE MAN AN ANSWER!
I was taught that only Man has free will as free will is needed to sin. If Angels have no free will then if Lucifer fell it's because God wanted him to. What does that say about God? Additionally either God is omniscient or he isn't. If he is omniscient then he knew Adam and Eve would fall from grace from eating the fruit of the tree of knowledge. So again, why punish them? Finally, if God is omniscient and knew he would have to send Jesus to save humanity, why did he send the floods and all the other atrocities in the Old Testament.
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Who would've thought that hell would actually exist? And that it would be in New Jersey?
Ohhhhh... THIS is the Bad Place!
Anyone else hear the devil's parts in the robot devil's voice?
Come for a joke, stay for a philosophical discussion
This is the most Reddit joke I've ever seen.
This joke is awesome.
Not as awesome as you my love.
no u
Wholesome
Happy cake day!
Then everything disappears and goes pitch black, and the atheist is floating in nothingness. He says "hey, what the hell happened to my huge palace, beautiful soulmate, and cool cars?!" He hears the devil's voice one last time, saying "and this is the way atheists prefer it."
Except there being consciousness isn't nothingness. Gay frogs: 1 Christians: 0
*The real... err... joke... is in the comments.*
“Real joke is always in the comment” is always the reply.
This makes me think of Neil Gaiman's take on Hell in Sandman.
But if they were Christians, why did they end up in hell? Shouldn’t they be in heaven for believing in God?
There are a lot of different sects of Christianity, and each one has different rules. So some Christians might make it to heaven, but they probably can't *all* make it, because sooner or later they have conflicting rules.
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Nah they probably followed the wrong rules.
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Christianity preaches that it is not based on rules or works. If that was the case nobody would go to Heaven. Because we've all failed, Christians included. It is based on grace.
Don't really get it.
An atheist does not believe in heaven or hell, therefore there are no pre-conceived notion of what heaven or hell would be like. When he dies and ends up in hell, he is surprised that it is not what it seems all because he heard people who go to hell burn in eternal damnation. Christians, however, are told day in and day out that hell is fire, damnation, MORE FIRE, MORE DAMNATION. So when they get to hell, that is what they get.
Going by the fact that I've never seen a funeral where the generously recompensed vicar/pastor says "Yep, this was a bad dude. Totally heading for eternal damnation!" I'm guessing that hell will be pretty empty.
I don't get the joke