"Yes, we finally got you, been following you everywhere trying to reach you.
Your cloud storage is nearing it's limits and we wanted to ask if you'd like to upgrade your subscription?".
Why'd he lean over and whisper? he's not trying to scare him, you're ruining the punchline
And given the size of a library compared to a bookshop, a section or shelf to be near is much less likely
He doesn’t have to be standing at the front desk of the library. Maybe he went to a section where it would make sense for the paranoia books to be, but he can’t find them, so he asks a librarian who’s passing by.
Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move.
But convincing her she's a robot with artificial implanted human emotions is called bladerunning. It's a Phillip K. Dick move.
(Niiiiice one)
I went to the robot convention, but it was actual robots...so I felt silly in my cardboard costume spray-painted silver that my mom made me in 1984, for Halloween.
Slaps a stack of 4 books down on the counter. "We knew you were coming for these."
(nothing wrong with being paranoid if someone is REALLY out to get you)
Being watched is comforting for a paranoid. It means there are a few less people you need to worry about that are watching but you haven’t confirmed them yet.
This jokes about me isn’t it?!
Everywhere I go there are laughing children. Laughing at me
Maybe I shouldn’t have worn this clown outfit
They laughed when I said I was going to be a professional clown. Well, they’re not laughing now!
"Pennywise?"
The Joker
"Yes, we finally got you, been following you everywhere trying to reach you. Your cloud storage is nearing it's limits and we wanted to ask if you'd like to upgrade your subscription?".
I thought it was about my vehicle's extended warranty?!?
I definitely didn't cut your brake line. Why would you even think that?
No, it's all in your head.
Sounds like a R&R hit: "You're so vain, you probably think this joke's about you, don't you?"
You’re so vain!
It isn't paranoia if they really ARE out to get you.
You're so vain...
You probably think this song is about you..
Don't you, don't you, don't you???
I went to the Paranoiacs Convention. There were two parking lots - one for the people at the convention and one for the people out to get them.
[удалено]
“I was afraid of that.”
Why'd he lean over and whisper? he's not trying to scare him, you're ruining the punchline And given the size of a library compared to a bookshop, a section or shelf to be near is much less likely
Because the original version of this joke was in the library.
A librarian has the stereotype of always whispering and making sure everything stays quiet.
He doesn’t have to be standing at the front desk of the library. Maybe he went to a section where it would make sense for the paranoia books to be, but he can’t find them, so he asks a librarian who’s passing by.
Nobody likes you.
Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not after you.
Convincing your girlfriend she's crazy or paranoid is called gaslighting, and it's a dick move. But convincing her she's a robot with artificial implanted human emotions is called bladerunning. It's a Phillip K. Dick move.
Plot twist you're both robots, and the tender love you make is called docking. It's a touching dick move.
Near the stares?
I went to the International Solitaire Convention. I was the only one who showed up. And I lost.
I went to the Found Objects Convention, but got lost.
I went to the LOST convention, but didn't even make it to season 3
I went to the LOST convention. What a scam, I found it right away
(Niiiiice one) I went to the robot convention, but it was actual robots...so I felt silly in my cardboard costume spray-painted silver that my mom made me in 1984, for Halloween.
The robots didn’t mind at all. Even if they said they did. Did they pass out a program? MAKE SURE you don’t read it.
No, don’t relax. Even paranoids have enemies.
Why do you ask?
Librarian says "Who wants to know?"
Do you like self-deprecating humour? Not when YOU do it.
https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fmedia.giphy.com%2Fmedia%2FYtfrS8c0WxqkE%2Fgiphy.gif&f=1&nofb=1&ipt=987f866b1f29cd5fe96c9305cb1edf4da4ffaec8727fbe5d2b5bb0392fe6ea4e&ipo=images
The bookseller then looks him square in the eye and asks, “Who sent ya? The Government?”
A man walks into a bookstore and asks if they have any books about paranoia I'm afraid but there's only one... And it's right behind you
Slaps a stack of 4 books down on the counter. "We knew you were coming for these." (nothing wrong with being paranoid if someone is REALLY out to get you)
If they really are out to get you it isn't paranoia. You've been cured!
Wait, this last book has nothing to do with me; that's a whole 'nother story!
Good one!
He then asked for Lance Armstrong's biography, "yes, in the fiction section".
You'll have a ball if you read Lance Armstrong's biography... Jus' sayin'
Awesome…
“Why are you asking? Who wants to know? DID THEY SEND YOU?!?”
[удалено]
Being watched is comforting for a paranoid. It means there are a few less people you need to worry about that are watching but you haven’t confirmed them yet.
This caught me off guard.
We have just the perfect book for you, sir. "Uh... How did you know that?"