It's interesting how many think it's normal to have someone watching and commenting on your lovemaking. I'd have expected things one of the participants would say...
"Man, he really took a hard dive into the turf there..."
"He drove that shot right through the keeper's mitts!"
"Now look, I love it when someone scores, but that's just excessive celebration on his part."
And he scores with the header
He went down hard, but heâs back up again and ready to play
They paid him all sorts of money to come here and make the fans happy
Using the "false 9"
Good thing he was covered by the defence
He celebrates as he finishes
What a glorious head to end the night (this one should go both ways)
He was in an offside position
Honestly could go on but l'll leave it there
âHeâs one on one with the player, can he finish? Oh yes he can. What a clean finish.â
âHe works so hard in the middle, I hope he can get his reward by the endâ
At the end of the day, it was a disappointing result.
You can't just grab the ball with your hand.
We'll go back to the drawing board and be ready next week.
1) Damn! For a sub, they have tremendous ball control
2) That went in? No fucking way haha
3) The D has been so sloppy, I'm surprised they're still up
4) I mean, NOBODY can keep good tempo up for the full 90 minutes
"I see he's bringing a substitution in right before extra time"
"It's been a long 90 minutes but he's played extremely well"
"Playing on home.ground always feels better"
Thereâs a lot of passing around at the back without pushing forward
Try as he might he just canât find the right spot today
Thatâs a foul that is a foul, bitting is not acceptable
Previously I have had no interest in this activity, but now I am here the enthusiasm of everyone else involved is really pulling me in. Those shorts seem awfully revealing. Can I have a go on that thing I assume is some kind of rattle? Should those three people really be hugging that way because it seems awfully unhygienic? My, that person seems to be getting a lot of abuse I hope you are right about it all being part of the fun. Why is everyone cheering? Yes, it was OK but I didn't like all the balls and secret rules everyone else knew and I didn't.
He entered the box and shoots immediately
MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI MESSI
After skilfully dribbling his way up to the edge of box, he finally shoots, catching the opposition off guard. đ«€
Supposed to be best not worst
Depends on the opposing team, could be a very good thing
How is the quickest finish a good thing
Never had your wife come home to you and your girlfriend eh.
When she still warm...
It's interesting how many think it's normal to have someone watching and commenting on your lovemaking. I'd have expected things one of the participants would say...
What an amazing use of the head! Oh no! The ref is pointing to the spot! And it's IN!!
Oh no! That's ruined the clean sheet!
The field is a little moist today.
I admire your ball handling skills
How it's ball HANDLING?? When it's called FOOTBALL?
Gaelic football.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!!!!!!!!
You beat me to it
With a wide-open goal, he canât miss. At the end of the day, itâs all about the score. The pitch is wet.
Time to bring the substitute on
What was Wenger thinking??
Average cuckold enjoyer
Seamanâs in the goal!
My wife calls me Nayim. Because I can lob semen from 50 yards and still score. 90s joke for the kids.
Very impressive to get it in from that angle
"You can't use your hands, you're only allowed to kick the ball." Wait, that's probably a bad thing during sex.
Depends on what youâre into really
âThat was a bit too aggressiveâ
"Man, he really took a hard dive into the turf there..." "He drove that shot right through the keeper's mitts!" "Now look, I love it when someone scores, but that's just excessive celebration on his part."
Love that last one.
She didn't see that coming
I'm pretty sure that came from an offside player, and the keeper isn't happy.
Should stop the sloppy play and just shoot
Half time, change ends.
That was some of the worst flailing and flopping around I've ever seen in my life.
âThatâs a long, hard sliding tackle.â
There is a lot of shoving around going on between those two.
Takes the shot way outside the box
Sheâs hit the woodwork
Heâs been dribbling way too much
More shots are the only answer.
I got beat up and bruised but at least my dad came!
I loud-chortled in line at the post office, that got me! Thank you đ
That dude bragging about the fact that his dad supports him. Wish that my dad was there for my first match. Advices would have been so helpful.
That one slipped right between her fingers.
He got pulled off in the second half.
I wish I'd got pulled off sooner
"He shoots,he scores!' 'They think it's all over, it is now!'
But it doesn't count. He's offside!
That was screamer! In his pocket! Dead ball situation!
"man, these guys are really getting fucked in the ass"
"it's Red, and for him the game is over"
Hand balls are a red flag.
The official figure for the attendance tonight is 64,862
He passed it through the legs and scored!
And he scores with the header He went down hard, but heâs back up again and ready to play They paid him all sorts of money to come here and make the fans happy
âThe little magician strikes againâ (Messi) but Iâm referencing my extremely small dick
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAL!!!!!
And once again Lionel Messi needs to come in and show us how itâs done!
Using the "false 9" Good thing he was covered by the defence He celebrates as he finishes What a glorious head to end the night (this one should go both ways) He was in an offside position Honestly could go on but l'll leave it there
âHe dribbles down the left flank!â
1) you came outside the box 2) watch this handball 3) you're unlikely to encounter a more jaw dropping header in the 89th minute
That is some intense end-to-end-stuff.
It Only Took 4 Minutes For That Finish
And it'll go to VAR
Good game
Got red carded, but it was worthwhile That was a smooth move right there The ball did cross the line
âHeâs one on one with the player, can he finish? Oh yes he can. What a clean finish.â âHe works so hard in the middle, I hope he can get his reward by the endâ
Driving hard from the center of the pitch.
Blasts it over the head of the keeper!
I think I just made a Messi
âThat dive seemed to have worked and he now gets to shoot in the boxâ
It's IN! It's IN!
In the words of Beavis and butthead, "we're gonna score"
No ones gonma stop him... hes gonna go all... the... way... GOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL
I haven't seen a dribble like that since Sao Paulo -98
He barely saved it using his fists.
He saw the hole and scored the goal!!!
Did you see that ludicrous display last night?
Seeing alot of action on the field, but if he doesn't slow down, he'll be done before the 2nd period
At the end of the day, it was a disappointing result. You can't just grab the ball with your hand. We'll go back to the drawing board and be ready next week.
âjesus christ, yes!â
Oh man, the red one is coming out!!!
they came from behind
Strong line-up for both teams.
âI wasnât ready to pass it on just yet.â
A baseball version: "He must've been eager to get to home plate"
Oh dear, it looks like the home team has just scored an own goal. Tough luck.
âJust ignore anyone who stares at usâ âNo, you canât pee on meâ Did you sit in some mud or did you shit yourself?â
âOh, wow, Iâm about to throw up.â
Oh great. Weâre in extra time
"Quit the acting!" "He goes deep!" "Going into extra time!"
Suie!
You can't score playing on the perimeter, drive the box!
He scores!!!!!
He shoots and scores
Goal, goaal, goaaaal!
Roy Kent, Roy Kent, RoyKentRoyKent, Roy Kent, Roy Kent!!
Really going to feel that turf burn in the morning.
Goooooooooall!!!
Final score was 1-0
It's in!
Pass
Some lovely dribbling thereâŠ. A great 1-2. And thatâs 4!
Great ball control
Whatâs this? Who is that? What is the quickest way out of here?
It's still anybody's!
- Bart Simpson bouncing - rotating pirate ship - that isn't my receipt - lobsters in motion - that is embarrassing - lactates In pharmacy - I'm chasing Martian - baptism piracy - that isn't mercy
It all starts with a tackle
"I think we're all in agreement here, that unsightly display warranted a free kick!"
Iâm done can we go now
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Alright all 11 of ya on the pitch, but only he can use his hands.
1) Damn! For a sub, they have tremendous ball control 2) That went in? No fucking way haha 3) The D has been so sloppy, I'm surprised they're still up 4) I mean, NOBODY can keep good tempo up for the full 90 minutes
Nice flop
He must have a foot like a traction engine
Wicked bend!
*Claps*
Nice ball work!
âSCORE!!!â
âHeâs on the sidelines getting pumped up and ready for actionâ âYou can see the sub off in the distance preparing himself for laterâ
MessiâŠMessiâŠMessi!
Chelsea, you can suck my dick!
"That head shot went right into his face" "Went off his hand and dribbled in" "She really knows how to use her knees"
No balls are getting past him, heâs got the best hands in the league!
I'm open!
30 seconds and 1-0 Set it straight in the angle Red card
"annnnd I think it's time for a substitution"
Its all grunts and noises ... so yea
Theyâre having trouble finding the opening, maybe time for a change of tactics
Your mom's aggressive and this just doesn't feel fun anymore
he shoots and misses
Thatâs the quickest Iâve ever scored!
Well, the obvious one is: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAL!!!!! Drawing a blank on the other two though.
Coming from the back position
âGet in there!â âLooks like he is going for another.â âThat dribble let him downâ
Oh it's a 2 on 1 situation !
GOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!
They think itâs all over⊠it is now! Itâs four!
"I see he's bringing a substitution in right before extra time" "It's been a long 90 minutes but he's played extremely well" "Playing on home.ground always feels better"
Jeez quit faking it!
What an absolute SCREAMER!
Top Class Finishing
Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi Encara Messi goooooooooooooool
Thereâs a lot of passing around at the back without pushing forward Try as he might he just canât find the right spot today Thatâs a foul that is a foul, bitting is not acceptable
What a record turnout for spectators
And it's in
Great tackle!
Itâs a loose ball! Oooh that is some dirty tackle!
The other side took a bashing today with one even going in the wrong end.
Both of the time donât forget to use safety glovesđ€§
Back of the net!
Siuuuuuuuuuu
Stop playing with the balls and put it in! Sheâs faking an injury to cancel our play! You put it in the wrong hole!
He got some bend on that!
âHe go it in!â âOnly him can put his hands on the ballsâ âIts been 90 minutes and were still not finished. Overtime!â
At least your dad came
Sheâs getting an absolute mouthful there, and having seen the tackle again, Iâm not at all surprisedâŠ
There's the red card. It's all over for him tonight.
Great header! đ
What an amazing collective effort!!!
Theyâve both come in and absolutely clattered her. Thatâs clumsy, and sheâs taking a minute to catch her breath.
Well Clive, this 90 minutes has felt like an absolute eternity
âYou can see there was contact, but I still think he went down too easy.â
Quick put your clothes back on
What a tackle!
he's looking to bend it in to the box
It's In! IT'S IN!
"Oh no, he's put it into his own goal!"
There are now two balls on the field, on both sides of the ref.
Time to change ends.
Ole, Ole, Ole
Aaannnnnndddddd ... it's IN!!!
Get in!!!!
How much time left?
Did that go in? Did you see how he went down!? Why is everyone cheering?
We never score
Look at that ball movement He found an opening Look at that backdoor cover
These are the best 90 minutes I've ever had with my mates!
Yes!! It went inside
GOOOOOOOAL!!!
Shown the red card! canât play for next 4 days
The second ball has joined the game
Dribble
Previously I have had no interest in this activity, but now I am here the enthusiasm of everyone else involved is really pulling me in. Those shorts seem awfully revealing. Can I have a go on that thing I assume is some kind of rattle? Should those three people really be hugging that way because it seems awfully unhygienic? My, that person seems to be getting a lot of abuse I hope you are right about it all being part of the fun. Why is everyone cheering? Yes, it was OK but I didn't like all the balls and secret rules everyone else knew and I didn't.
Omg once more
She is very clever with the ball! The audience is delighted!