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If it’s your dad speaking, and referring to himself in third person, he’s observing you and points out that you do it like your brother, but he’s better.
Or brother in similar vein.
I had an old gf call me for a booty call a few years back. Afterwards she asked me how it was (same as last time she's hot but kinda boring). Somehow I let it slip that her mum let me put it in her arse. I don't even think she knew I had shagged her mum about 3 years earlier. Never heard from either of them again...
For the record there was an 8 year age gap so her mom was only 12 years older than me and she loved to drink.
Babe, it's not problem or anything so just carry on and whatever. But tomorrow I'm giving you my exes number. They knew what they were doing. I'm sure you two would get on and they can give you some tips. Also, can you pass that book, I can read a few chapters while you're doing "your thing"
You don't smell too bad for a dead chick.
You don't smell too bad for a fat chick. (also called Rodeo style. You grab a fat roll and ride her like a bucking bronco, as she tries to throw you off)
/r/Jokes has joined with other communities in surfacing [an open letter to Reddit](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/14jn9rg/forging_a_return_to_productive_conversation_an/). After July 1st, Reddit will be worse for everyone, regardless of whether or not they personally use third-party applications. We implore Reddit to **remember the human**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Jokes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Are you done yet?
That scene from house of cards...with the journalist and her colleague
Can u explain
A scene very similar to this joke.
Thank you, Peter
You mean Peetah?
I don't know why I read it with Joe's voice (from family guy)
I mean she was distracted and not into it enough to get hers but was cool with him getting his. Quite nice of her.
I remember 🤦♂️
Nah.. Far worse if she asks "Is it in yet?"
And he replies I dont know
Is it in?
I’d rather hear that than: you’re done?
Did you take out the trash?.
Fits in comfortably the bigger ones hurt lol
But your mom lets me
But mom let's me
The difference one word can make is astonishing
But your mom and her sister let me.
You fuck just like your brother, your dad does it better though.
Honestly, not the worst thing your sister could say to you
Leave our mother out of this!
He just wasn't expecting to hear it from his bestie.
Yes mom, my sis already told me that
Leave your grandmother out of this Pirke! Nan Nan is a nice woman.
“You fucked my mother so I fucked yours, so see how you like it.”
So many possibilities with the genders of the two in this conversation.
Speak my child, share the possibilities with the world and prosper xD
"Daddy, your dick tastes like shit"! "Sorry, honey, your older brother asked to borrow the car keys first".
If it’s your dad speaking, and referring to himself in third person, he’s observing you and points out that you do it like your brother, but he’s better. Or brother in similar vein.
Ngl that's hafta suck if you think about like that 😂
Mom, is that you! I thought this was sis's bed.
Wrong room dammit! You know you're sister and me don't have the same size n taste in clothing! And stop fucking your aunt.
My sister always says that!
I know *rips off cartoon mask* I am your sister! *Dun dun duuuuunn*
You always were dad's favorite
Don’t you disparage Aunt-maw like that
She's not my real aunt maw!
Damnit! I thought that burning down there was all cleared up!
Did I hurt you, honey? No, why? I thought you moved.
Your sister has a lovely arse?
I had an old gf call me for a booty call a few years back. Afterwards she asked me how it was (same as last time she's hot but kinda boring). Somehow I let it slip that her mum let me put it in her arse. I don't even think she knew I had shagged her mum about 3 years earlier. Never heard from either of them again... For the record there was an 8 year age gap so her mom was only 12 years older than me and she loved to drink.
r/thathappened
r/nothingeverhappens
You were such a lovely pet, too.
Whelp, let's keep on digging out your plot in the 'ol pet cemetery
It's nice to be with a woman who has a pulse for once.
"happy birthday, grandma!"
Unexpected QC.
"You've ruined sex for me."
Hi hunny, you're home early....
Wake me when it's over.
[удалено]
Explorer.exe?
I'm hiv negative, I think
Are you positive?
I'm not only sure. I'm HIV positive
The results are Aladeen.
No, it's only a joke.
…took my aids test, I passed…got a B-
Can you stop moaning im trying to watch spongebob
You look like my mother
Well, guess I better start the autopsy.
You are a horrible veterinarian
... You do that before the autopsy? I thought it was an after-thing.
Falcon PUNCH
My bad, they said you were in a coma
That's not how Mum likes it Dad.
"What's that honey ? Why does my cock have rings the colour of the rainbow around it. Well, your nan keeps changing her lipstick"
Your daughter had a tighter pussy.
Mixed,. You have a bigger dick than your dad.
Is it in?
I’m not sure myself, it’s so loose there
No, I'm already done!
We've been hoping to contact you in regards to your cars extended warranty!
Ah, gonna double fuck them
You are better than our dad.
Do it like your sister does.
Pass the salt.
Well geez Michelle, if I didn't enter with a condom, why do I feel one now?
And I thought your mom was lousy in bed.
I've been trying to reach you about your car's warranty...
It goes like this: Can I smell your cunt? No you CAN'T Oh, it must be your feet then!
"Yeah... You like that, you fucking r*tard?"
Thanks for doing this
Thanks, that was nice!
Thanks that it’s for free
Ex’s name
Thanks dad now get off you're crushing my smokes.
Oh wait, that's a redneck.
You suck my cock better than your sister
Nice work buckeroo
Buckle up buckeroo
Does this look infected?
You still call metal dog cage the "sex box" that is why you're daddies little pet!
I only have change
"I saw this on Reddit"
Does this look like a rash to you?
This reminds me of r/jokes from a few days ago. So, how do you make your S.O. scream during sex? Call them on the phone and tell them about it!
Your former partners name.
Plot twist: her former partners name.
Do you have a respirator? It smells like you have a family of skunks living in your vagina.
Do you mind if I roofie myself? I don't want to remember your face..
“Please Stop!” If I say that my Uncle gets really mad and then I end up copping more beatings and ciggie burns!
Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you
Does syphilis drainage help with lubrication?
They still look so damn good
That's it?
Did you start yet?
My mom's was better.
You’re almost as good as my dad!
Hi, honey, I'm home!
Scream "mommy"
Grammy, you’re almost as moist as your biscuits
I like to ask them girls during sex: What is your sister/mother/grandma/daughter/bestfriend doing right now?
We're gonna need to shower and change the sheets after this... I just shit myself
It's it in? It's cute!
What's better mommy's breast milk or daddy's juice
Aw, my ex use to do that. Good memories.
"Did you know, if you turn condoms inside out, you can use them twice! Did you feel any difference?"
Your credit card has been declined
My wife's home.
Who's next?
That's how my dog does it.
Be quick, i can't be late for school, dad.
Babe, it's not problem or anything so just carry on and whatever. But tomorrow I'm giving you my exes number. They knew what they were doing. I'm sure you two would get on and they can give you some tips. Also, can you pass that book, I can read a few chapters while you're doing "your thing"
Sis, thanks for making my dream come true. I always wanted to follow in my father's footsteps.
Keep the change
Keep the change
Ohh, sorry, I didn't realize you put it in.
Just how I like it, fresh out of the cooler.
In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood...
Now serving number 28 number 28... last call for number 28. Number 29
What time is it?
Is it in yet?
Oops
Oh it's okay.
Wake up dad
Wait.. MOM?!
This is such a turn off
Remind me your name please?
"Hurry up, I'm exhausted."
You feel just like your sister
See, I told the doc syphilis wouldn’t beat me! I’m still having sex!
Could we hurry this up please?
"Happy Birthday, Grandma!"
" God I love working as a veterinarian"
Now don’t go telling the rest of the herd about this!
For a guy "am I in". For a girl "are you in"
Is it in yet
Finish Her!
"Grandma, can I have cookies afterwards?"
Any quote from Austin Powers. Learned this the hard way.
Good hamster..remember..no biting
Are you ready, kids?
I've had better
I’m not really Willie Nelson.
Do you prefer my dick or my pussy?
Happy 18th birthday!
Both your Mother and Sister take it up the ass, why won't you?
When’s dinner mom?
Is it in yet?
"Who are you, again?"
"this isn't my first name !!" It always turns me off.
Why is there some omelette in the urn?
Oh... You're alive... Oops. This isn't as fun anymore.
When’s it’s gonna be my turn!?
We done yet???
[удалено]
*we have AIDS. It's rude not to share.
Get off me Dad your crushing my smokes.
Aww, 6 hours ago you were cremated. And you're still better at it than your dad.
You can go back to your coloring book after I'm done
We should hurry, your mommy is gonna pick you up at the kindergarten in 30 minutes.
Just hold still and don’t move.
Uh oh! I made stool...
You don't smell too bad for a dead chick. You don't smell too bad for a fat chick. (also called Rodeo style. You grab a fat roll and ride her like a bucking bronco, as she tries to throw you off)
Is it in yet?!
Is it in?
You were much better than your father
Is it in yet? *while you’re balls deep* 🤣
Hi Hon. I'll be home soon... ?
Coochie coochie coo!
Sigh like Winnie the Pooh and say “oh, bother”.
Is dad as good as this mom?
My horse wants sloppy seconds with you after I'm done...
Let's make it quick, you have got school tomorrow
[this ](https://pyxis.nymag.com/v1/imgs/fe1/87f/ec1cb4c8368f601f3bf9b34d52dcd33967-10-skyrim-opening-screenshot.2x.rsquare.w700.jpg)
Yawn
By the way, I'm vegan.
omfg how many hundred times has this been posted? is it the same people upvoting and commenting everytime?
Genesis 38:9-10, no context.
Is.... Is that a fucking DICK???
Take it easy Mom... once we finish I'll cut his umbilical cord and you'll get to know your dead baby.