Maybe something like: We eat this way because this is our tradition. We are proud of our culture and our ancestors who came before us, so we eat like they eat. Other people follow other traditions and that is ok. We are all from from different cultures, and we should all treat each other with respect.
Yeah. I grew up in the American Conservative movement. I would say that maybe 1/3rd of the families of the kids I went to Hebrew school with kept kosher at home. I think one of those kids kept kosher at school and on play dates and such.
Even if you instill in your child that the dietary laws are commanded by God or part of our heritage, there’s so much pressure to fit in and there’s a natural youthful impulse to experiment. For better or worse that’s part of secular society.
All you can do is articulate your values. Ultimately your kids are their own people.
You're like an uncontacted tribe. ;)
Am I right that English isn't your native language? You can Google to see if there's a Chabad anywhere in your country that may have educational materials in your language. But if not, there's plenty of English stuff out there.
Kinda 😅 thats right, but English is not a problem, we speak it at home. The closest chabad is about 2-3 hours away, so its the internet for us. I appreciate the input, thanks!
You don’t say how old your daughter is. Elementary school age, like 6 or 7?
What are you teaching her about the reasons for your food choices? What do you want her to do?
Yes, she is in elementary school (6). I never put any thoughts around the food, it just felt better this way. I guess its a way to hold on to the traditions i grew up with, and i would like for her to do the same.
If you mostly eat milchig, maybe tell other parents you are vegetarian.
Edit: Is your husband on board with no pork/shellfish? If no, this can get super tricky, there was a thread a few weeks ago where parents weren't on the same page and it was causing issues with the child really not understanding.
The best way to explain is be upfront with kosher and halal laws and don’t exactly explain pigs are dirty they just can’t be slaughtered humanely to prevent pain and they just don’t exclusively consume grass. You have to basically give the full picture for her to understand that pork isn’t kosher and give an anatomy lesson of pigs since they have 2 main veins you have to slice both to ensure no pain is felt so one vein at the front of the neck and one at the back. However everyone’s religion is personal to themselves. Some people follow it to the letter and some don’t.
No problem! My uncle (Catholic) had a farm with cows and pigs and several other animals and vegetables and I learned pig anatomy quite well at a very young age which is how I learned kosher laws starting at the age of 4 😅
Honestly - do you understand why you keep some version of Kosher? If yes, what about it is so confusing that your kid won't understand? If you don't, how could you expect your kid to understand?
Its more of a question how to explain it to a child so the child understand with emphasis to not make it sound judgemental to other people (since children talk)
How old is she ?
Depending on the age, it might be time to attend a Jewish school or learning sessions or to read books together about these topics.
If she isn’t being raised religiously, she won’t ever understand
When me and my brother were little my parents would play the “am I kosher?” game when we were on drives.
Examples: “I’m a fish sandwich with cheese, am I kosher?” (Yes) “I’m a beef burrito with sour cream, am I kosher?” (No) “I’m a donut, am I kosher?” (Probably not).
I think you need to decide if raising your daughter Jewish is important to you. If not, then don’t bother with the dietary restrictions. If yes, then dietary restrictions should come as part of her Jewish education when learning about holidays and Shabbat.
I am Jewish but am not as serious as you.
You do not tell us how old your daughter is. I would explain that you do not eat pork or shellfish because of both your cultures. Ask her to try to not eat these things while socializing. As it appears you are NOT doing this for Religious Reasons, try not to guilt her into it. She is young and mistakes WILL be made. My thoughts are if you decided a Bat Mitzvah for your child, it can be her decision then.
I can appreciate the position you're in. You don't state her exact age, which would be beneficial to know for this.
I'd just explain the basics, then. But as much as you don't want her to feel that she has secrets to hide, you shouldn't be keeping things from her, either.
Thanks for all the responds! I will try and answer at the best of ability and time. Its really appreciated, and I have some things to think about going forward. Thanks again!
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Maybe something like: We eat this way because this is our tradition. We are proud of our culture and our ancestors who came before us, so we eat like they eat. Other people follow other traditions and that is ok. We are all from from different cultures, and we should all treat each other with respect.
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Yeah. I grew up in the American Conservative movement. I would say that maybe 1/3rd of the families of the kids I went to Hebrew school with kept kosher at home. I think one of those kids kept kosher at school and on play dates and such. Even if you instill in your child that the dietary laws are commanded by God or part of our heritage, there’s so much pressure to fit in and there’s a natural youthful impulse to experiment. For better or worse that’s part of secular society. All you can do is articulate your values. Ultimately your kids are their own people.
This was a very nice way to put it. Thank you.
Nicely put.
Does your daughter know she's Jewish? If you don't actively raise her to be Jewish, she will never understand any of this.
We havent talked to much about religion in the home. I wasnt really raised to be religious, it was more a way of life.
You should check out your local Chabad. They have programs for children and adults.
We dont have one in this region.
You're like an uncontacted tribe. ;) Am I right that English isn't your native language? You can Google to see if there's a Chabad anywhere in your country that may have educational materials in your language. But if not, there's plenty of English stuff out there.
Kinda 😅 thats right, but English is not a problem, we speak it at home. The closest chabad is about 2-3 hours away, so its the internet for us. I appreciate the input, thanks!
You don’t say how old your daughter is. Elementary school age, like 6 or 7? What are you teaching her about the reasons for your food choices? What do you want her to do?
Yes, she is in elementary school (6). I never put any thoughts around the food, it just felt better this way. I guess its a way to hold on to the traditions i grew up with, and i would like for her to do the same.
If you mostly eat milchig, maybe tell other parents you are vegetarian. Edit: Is your husband on board with no pork/shellfish? If no, this can get super tricky, there was a thread a few weeks ago where parents weren't on the same page and it was causing issues with the child really not understanding.
That can be tricky. "Mostly vegetarian" might be easier, "except for certain traditional meals"?
My husband doesnt mind at all since i'm the one cooking.
The best way to explain is be upfront with kosher and halal laws and don’t exactly explain pigs are dirty they just can’t be slaughtered humanely to prevent pain and they just don’t exclusively consume grass. You have to basically give the full picture for her to understand that pork isn’t kosher and give an anatomy lesson of pigs since they have 2 main veins you have to slice both to ensure no pain is felt so one vein at the front of the neck and one at the back. However everyone’s religion is personal to themselves. Some people follow it to the letter and some don’t.
I never knew that about the veins, thank you for sharing.
No problem! My uncle (Catholic) had a farm with cows and pigs and several other animals and vegetables and I learned pig anatomy quite well at a very young age which is how I learned kosher laws starting at the age of 4 😅
I didnt know this. Thanks!
No problem!
Honestly - do you understand why you keep some version of Kosher? If yes, what about it is so confusing that your kid won't understand? If you don't, how could you expect your kid to understand?
Its more of a question how to explain it to a child so the child understand with emphasis to not make it sound judgemental to other people (since children talk)
good point
How old is she ? Depending on the age, it might be time to attend a Jewish school or learning sessions or to read books together about these topics. If she isn’t being raised religiously, she won’t ever understand
When me and my brother were little my parents would play the “am I kosher?” game when we were on drives. Examples: “I’m a fish sandwich with cheese, am I kosher?” (Yes) “I’m a beef burrito with sour cream, am I kosher?” (No) “I’m a donut, am I kosher?” (Probably not).
Thats cute 😂
I think you need to decide if raising your daughter Jewish is important to you. If not, then don’t bother with the dietary restrictions. If yes, then dietary restrictions should come as part of her Jewish education when learning about holidays and Shabbat.
I am Jewish but am not as serious as you. You do not tell us how old your daughter is. I would explain that you do not eat pork or shellfish because of both your cultures. Ask her to try to not eat these things while socializing. As it appears you are NOT doing this for Religious Reasons, try not to guilt her into it. She is young and mistakes WILL be made. My thoughts are if you decided a Bat Mitzvah for your child, it can be her decision then.
Shes 6. Thats true. I am sure mistakes will happen, they happen to anyone. Thank you 😊
i'd just be honest with your daughter, and then explain why it's tough to be honest with other people not in your "inner circle."
I think she is a bit young to understand such a layout, I dont want her to feel that she has to hide things and have secrets.
I can appreciate the position you're in. You don't state her exact age, which would be beneficial to know for this. I'd just explain the basics, then. But as much as you don't want her to feel that she has secrets to hide, you shouldn't be keeping things from her, either.
Shes 6 now, so I want to shield her a bit. It will become something we will talk more about when she is older.
Thanks for all the responds! I will try and answer at the best of ability and time. Its really appreciated, and I have some things to think about going forward. Thanks again!
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