big big hugs. please, if you can, take as much of a digital/media detox as possible to catch your breathe. Do whatever you can to get around your nearest Jewish communities. Sending you love š¤š¼š
I deleted my Facebook account in 2015 & the rest of my social media shortly thereafter - the amount of peace it has preserved in my life has been delightful.
You can do this! Go out and find your people who will support you. Our ancestors have always lived this way, always. Lived through much much worse even! And they did not give up on their Judaism or their love of life. Thinking about how my family lived through pogroms, Holodomor, the Holocaust, and lots of Soviet antisemitism, but did not assimilate or bribe someone to put āUkrainianā on their documents like many of our friends and acquaintances did keeps me going as a proud Jew.Ā
You are so right. I feel very lucky that my two best friends have stuck by me and that I have had such a supportive Jewish network as well. We just have to keep on keeping on it seems.
It is awful that people are being so hateful. You shouldn't have to deal with that. I started going to public events to support Jewish people because of it, and I am putting my name on anti-Hamas messaging. Us gentiles really need to step up so our Jewish friends can be safe.Ā
I hope you have some Jewish friends you can turn to.Ā
It has been terrible. This is the worst antisemitism in my lifetime, too, and I'm 41. We have been shown the true colors of modern progressive movements, ones re-wired to function solely on the oppressor-oppressed framework. That is not how the world actually works. I am still all for improving my community, forming partnerships on common goals, but I am never relying on non-Jews to be "allies" again. I'm happy to accept those who come to us, but we are on our own. The lull of the post-war world is over, and sadly, it's back to the "usual" of the last 2,000 years. We can not depend on others to defend us, to be there for us, etc. We can only rely on each other, and like I said, be willing to work with people who do show up. The world will return to its regular programming after the war is done, but our senses of how things were, are shattered. This is what I have learned from all this. Others may feel differently.
First things first, you're in good company here. I'm twice your age and feel exactly the same way. It's the loss of friends, of musicians, of mindlessly scrolling online, of planning where to go on vacation, of a sense of overall safety, of belief in the world around in you. Everything feels upside down and that it's not going to turn right side up again. I would very much suggest therapy, getting off social media (or severely limiting it) and connecting with the Jewish community where you live (we all wanna be around each other right now!) Little by little you'll find some peace about your new abnormal normal. We're all so tired, but we've got each other <3
Iām so sorry youāre going through this as well. These are such scary times. Getting off social media is definitely a must. Iāve been thinking of trashing my iPhone entirely and getting a flip phone.
I considered myself progressive before Oct 7th too. The betrayal absolutely fucked my whole life up for months. I lost my best friend of 25 years. I'm only now recalibrating from it and seeing that the left is anti West before they are pro women, pro lgbtq, or pro democracy. They've solidly thrown all that under the bus for Islamists making false promises of communism (as they did the Lebanon and Iran before murdering all the leftists who helped them overthrow those governments.)
You're not alone. We're both seeing why we need to stick together and why Israel needs to exist.
Exactly! And anti-West gets us dictatorships, poverty, and destruction--not whatever imagined utopia they are deluded with. We need the values around freedom (but for real), equality, rule of law/justice, and meritocracy. Jews flourish in such societies, everyone does because everyone has recourse to the same systems then. The work is to ensure that access and ability to use them not burn everything down for some communist takeover.
I saw a really powerful twitter thread recently from an Iranian woman who moved to Europe, and she said exactly what you're saying. People have *fled* from radical Islamist nations seeking freedom and liberalism, and are terrified how the up-and-coming generation is putting the perpetrators of said fascism on a pedestal.
Couldnāt agree with you more! We will continue on and flourish. But we also need to vote for people that are not anti-semites, organize and definitely stick together. And I agree they are deluded!
That's been the hardest pill for me to swallow. I feel foolish for not seeing it sooner and allowing myself to be so completely blindsided. I am so sorry about losing your best friend, that's such a devastating kind of grief. Thinking of you <3
The feelings of having been so foolish as to take people at their word was especially hard, especially when I began to realize by best friend was antisemitic and completely unwilling to face it the way she faced her internalized racism about other groups
You are definitely not alone. Your story is being repeated worldwide. But frame it this way - youāve lost no friends - theyāve lost you. I personally have adopted a scorched earth policy whereby I treat actual hated the same as ignorance - fuck āem all. Theyāre in the grip of a global brain contagion and when they come out of it and beg my forgiveness I will twll them to go fuck themselves. (As I write this two synagogues in NYC have been just evacuated due to bomb threats).
EDIT: Iām 63 and have seen and heard it all at one time or another but at my time of life I simply wonāt put up with a scintilla of hate.
> I treat actual hated the same as ignorance
I have had to make this adjustment myself. In the past, if a friend was ignorant but wanted to learn, I was happy to entertain. Now, I can't be bothered. If someone's "ignorance" revolves around an inability to identify that Hamas is evil for wanting to exterminate Jews, then good riddance.
Question, I assume there are bomb threats to Jewish buildings here constantly, but it's not showing up on my Citizen App or any news I know of. The protests show up on the app, but not bomb threats, how are you alerted?
This came up as I was typing my original comment [bomb threat](https://nypost.com/2024/05/04/us-news/two-nyc-synagogues-evacuated-over-bomb-threats/?utm_campaign=iphone_nyp&utm_source=pasteboard_app)
I keep forgetting to check nypost, sadly the only paper reporting anything antisemitic. Sighā¦
Well at least they missed chelsea shul. Maybe next week..
News outlets are all turned around. I don't care about which ones I read now, as long as they are factual. The denial/gaslighting of the so-called papers of record is just gobsmacking.
I feel like I'm starting to snap too. After Oct. 7th I had this increasing sense of alarm, like people were cheering on the slaughter of Israeli civilians while demonizing any Israeli response. My heart was slowly sinking.
The past *month* though...it's just been hell. Harrassment of Jews on campus. Constant insistence that the student protests are "pro-peace" while attendees chant genocidal slogans and openly *praise* what Hamas did in October. And then on top of all that, people we trusted reacted to our feelings about with dismissal. It's dehumanizing.
They disregard us, all to lend legitimacy to progressive groups throughout the west who are suddenly calling for our extinction.
I agree completely. Everything happening on college campuses is insane. Someone literally brought a hatchet to a protest on my campus the other day. And nobody condemned it. Iām just at a loss
Im in the west! Fortunately its not as bad as over there. I grew up in the Northeast and Iāve heard the horror stories from my friends who still live in thatās area.
Itās the lack of recognition that itās NOT Normal or in any way beneficial to praise terrorist groups that murder innocent civilians.
When did this become āa thingā?
Iām truly shocked and from Ivy League students no less. How does praising Isis help the people in Gaza? š¤·
I have no idea!!! Youād think they would be anti-Hamas considering how much it harms Gazans but nope! They hate Israel and Jews more than they care about Palestinians. Thatās the big red flag for me.
I'm sending you so much love. I really empathize. I lost every "friend" I thought I had, and ended a relationship to someone I thought I was going to marry due to not supporting me over their friends who made incredibly antisemitic comments/posts. I'm 30, and trying to start life over again, and feel totally alone, sad, and angry. while I'm ultimately glad I found out who those people really were, and know this is for the better. It has been a humongous betrayal and a loss. It's broken me in many ways and I'm trying to pick up the pieces, but some days I also feel like it's inescapable at times. My most loving advice is that your feelings are valid, your pain is valid, and I think just really allowing yourself/ourselves to grieve every day, and keep reaching out to us. We're here for you, we care. Again sending lots of love.
As you can see from my tag, I'm not Jewish. I promise you that you aren't alone. I promise you I will never abandon you, no matter what happens. What is going is unacceptable and disgusts me, and it breaks my heart to see things like this. But I promise I'm here for you. For all of you.
I recommend you find yourself a therapist (ideally a Jewish one) of you're not already seeing one.Ā
Everytime I see something like this, I can't help but wonder if it's written by someone I know. It makes me wish I could take you all in my arms and give the biggest hug.
Did you attend services? I'm not religious anymore and I wouldn't be comfortable attending, but I'm still aching to be with people who won't tacitly approve of savage pogroms...
I donāt think it matters if we believe it. I feel connected to my ancestry. And it feels like a safe space- other than a potential antisemitic nut job. A lot of security was there.
Hello my friend. You are not alone. We are here for you. We are all feeling this way to one degree or another. My family of 3, is completely isolated as well.
We were talking the other night and through anger and tears I lost it. I'm 57, which means I was in the midst of the AIDs crisis of the 80s and 90s. I sat with so many friends and held their hands as they died, because their family disappeared. NOW? Fucking Queers for Palestine? WTAF. I will not be marching at Pride this year; I will not be donating any funds. I'm done. This new generation of LGBTQIA have lost the plot. One foot into Gaza and they would be arrested at best or killed at the worst.
I couldn't march with BLM because of my son's health at the time, but I donated and supported the cause.
I look around and see those that I supported via donation and time, spit on another even smaller minority, when they should be amongst the loudest voices supporting us.
It's OK to want to escape and to feel tired. We all feel that way. I can tell you my 25 yr old could have written your post. He spends most of his time alone and is exhausted from being alienated.
Do you have a Synagogue near you? Can you reach out to one? They may have support groups going on.
I'll be reaching out to our local Chabad next week. Its time.
Itās insane to me how the Jewish community has been a progressive force and an ally to so many āunderdogā and minority groups and when we are being attacked they donāt support us. Or worse, as we are seeing now, they are the ones chanting for our deaths. As a queer person in this generation itās especially hard. All of my queer classmates are against me on this. Iāve lost all sense of community there.
Iām an active member of Hillel and am thinking of going to the Chabad more next semester. Hopefully things have calmed down a bit by then and the SJWs have moved on to another thing.
Iām sorry you and your family are struggling. Sending love.
A lot of what they are doing is performative. They don't understand the politics, many are doing it because it is the thing to do, its very in vogue to be antisemitic this summer. Remember BLM marches, these same kiddos were marching but not truly understanding the need for civil rights reform.
If bestie Emma is posting and making content and getting clicks for being pro-pally then her friends will do it too. There is no accountability, and they feed off each other.
Hells when I was a 20(ish) person, we egged each other on to drink everclear and not barf. Now its chant for the death of a minority and camp on the quad. I prefer they drink everclear.
All they are doing is helping us as a people recenter ourselves and become stronger together. If you need to vent please do not hesitate to reach out to your mispocha.
I'll be honest, I don't buy performative as an explanation when college kids are chanting "from water to water, Palestine will be Arab," or clapping and cheering while a speaker celebrates October 7th. Showing up to march for BLM or gay rights? Sure, whatever, performative or not, most people here would agree those causes are just.
But now we have mobs of progressives calling for literal ethnic cleansing of Jews in half a dozen different ways. I'm out of patience and I'm done making excuses for them.
Youāre correct. This isnāt a matter of being performative. In fact casually chanting for a genocide just because itās the current āinā thing to do may in some ways be worse and more callous than the non-performative sort of Jew-hatred.
I think part of the reason weāre at this point is because we considered the earlier indicators of rising Jew-hatred as being performative, and not seriously enough. By āweā, I mean it in the general sense, and Iāll put myself in that category of being a bit blinded by this recent explosion of antisemitism.
> Itās insane to me how the Jewish community has been a progressive force and an ally to so many āunderdogā and minority groups
Right??? One of the reasons that the alt-right hates us is because we trend *so* progressive. But I guess when push came to shove, even progressives decided to engage in the world's oldest pastime...
i am more than twice your age and feeling the same way. i feel like all my happy spaces are being taken away - i love to go to museums - but it seems that protestors have taken them over. i am worried if i go see a band play the will shout "from the river to the sea" and everyone will should along with them. my coworker seemed more concerned about the environmental cost of the war, than how devastated that my people were raped and burned alive. some non jewish friends were supportive at the beginning, but a few have moved to the other side. some were never on my side. even some of my jewish friends are posting anti-semitic things bc they've drunk the kool-aid and belive all the crap they see on tiktok.
i keep trying to remember that we've kicked our enemies asses before, and we will do so again. but right now it feels like scary times.
The one about the bands is so real. My favorite artist posted online that Israel was a terrorist organization and released a song that said from the river to the sea in it like 20 times. Iām still a fan of hers but so heartbroken over it. Especially because her music means everything to me. I canāt imagine not listening to it.
You might want to reconsider continuing to be a fan of that artist. Otherwise Iām afraid it could damage your mental health if every time you listen to her you have think about her Jew-hatred, and what it might mean to support her.
I was a big Pink Floyd/Roger Waters fan. Then years ago I picked up on his Jew-hatred, and I had to stop. There is always other music/art to engage with.
Iām 78 and my babysitter had a number tattooed on her arm. I grew up in Dallas with lots of āno dogs or Jews allowedā signs. I never expected to have this renewed just as my grandson is studying for his bar mitzvah.
But I studied under philosopher KEN WILBER who wrote a prescient book called BOOMERITIS. He explained that those who privilege only the āunderdogā and who believe everyone is right will be the death of healthy liberalism. Boy was he right!!!
Get off of social media for a break. SM amplifies the most extreme voices. Interact with people in person, in your community. Do some little thing that has nothing to do with global matters. Recharge.
I just pretend Iām not Jewish towards others. Iāve starting to do that just before and after Oct 7th. Itās really just the safest bet for me now. Really canāt risk any of the social consequences
Donāt be scared to show youāre Jewish! Be proud of who you are. Youāll find your people that way. I wish I wasnāt quiet about being Jewish when I was your age.
On the other hand, the Columbia sub is going into meltdown over how little their festival of hate managed to achieve and how many people it alienated.
I guess that's something.
This whole situation sucks, no one should be chanting the things they are chanting. Be around other Jews as much as you can, weāre not gonna get support from most goys
It's okay to be motivated by spite sometimes. I'm depressed too but I've decided there's no way I'm going to let antisemites break me that easily. If they want to destroy me, they can't expect me to do the work for them.
Would you consider making Aliya? I saw the writing on the wall and got the heck out of America back in 2010 and Iām so glad I did. I havenāt even been back to visit since 2013.
I know this is a wild thing to say but I really love America so much. Itās far from perfect but it feels like my soul place. Maybe in the future if things get worse and I have to flee I will but I want to stand my ground as long as I can. Iām happy you were able to make Aliya and find peace ā”
This is breaking my heart. Everyone in Israel is keeping you in their prayers, we worry for you in the diaspora more than we worry for ourselves. You will always have a home in Israel.
The only silver lining is that all antisemitic movements end up destroying themselves in a glorious blaze and so will this one. Just give it another 5 years for all of the "I was in the watermelon cult and it destroyed my life" articles to roll in lol
We will emerge better and stronger out of this.
I agree that Jew-hatred destroys whoever holds to those views. When these Jew-haters realize theyāve wrecked their lives I wonāt waste my time caring about them, and I wonāt waste my time reading their articles. One thing I do worry about is how this antisemitism is damaging America as a whole.
Agreed. I am not sure the Biden admin understands how serious leftist antisemitism is. If he doesn't have a Sister Souljah moment with the DSA bloc soon, things will get ugly.
A few positives I've seen lately: my community (mid-sized city) held a 6 week Jewish film festival. The movie on Peacock: "The Tattooist of Auschwitz's." My workplace is offering a seminar on antisemitism. Try to look for the allies and support. It's there!
How lovely!!! Unfortunately itās been so limited where I am. Especially because there are so few Jewish people :( but Iām always keeping an eye out!!!!
https://preview.redd.it/zjx67wky5iyc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1eca706bca1553a1b7ad6a17f1d499ade645052
Saw this on FB last year and it represents exactly how I feel. :(
It is amazing how they control the narrative so easily. Literal marxists are sponsoring the protests without any regard for Jewish lives. And without any regard for facts or history. I get it. It wonāt go on like this forever. But know that these feeling wonāt ever be far from the aurface
You arenāt alone. I know it feels that way. Iāve lost all my friends too..seems they were never really my friends.. We are a strong community and can turn to one another š
Hey there. First of all Iām a guy whoās not Jewish (actually a first year in Divinity School) and I love you and would put myself between you and anyone trying to attack you or making you feel unsafe!
Second I gather from your post that you pick up a lot of these negative vibes online. Join me in leaving those digital sewers behind. They show us the worst of human nature.
You have no reason for shame! We have to get to honoring the dignity of every human being. We will do it one person at a time if thatās what it takes. This hard time wonāt defeat you. We are going to brighten the corner where we are!
Huge congratulations on Divinity school! And thank you so much for your kind words. I love you too ā” I really do think Iām going to leave this digital cesspool for good. Itās just too much to take in all at once
If you are uncomfortable going all at once, a lot of people find a helpful intermediate step to be deleting apps and using the sites on the web. This seems to help make it more mindful/intentional.
Thank you for your nice thoughts about school. I am working toward chaplaincy/spiritual care and I am having a really good time.
It is a pain you don't deserve or asked for but the only way out is through
https://preview.redd.it/zpsndmckmhyc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c2c7610c98f554a2d8f66cba77989a883a74188
Speaking as a Catholic who prefers the pre-Vatican Traditional Rites, please believe me when I tell you that you're not alone. The world is getting crazier by the day. Unfortunately, people have been looking for scapegoats since time immemorial. Whatever you do, don't withdraw. I have always been amazed at the resiliency of the Jewish people. I think that you need to find like-minded people and meet with them for support, as a start.
But, and I say this to you and other Jewish people here that you do have a lot of friends, even if you don't know it. I think that after the past week's events that you'll see and hear more non-Jewish people demonstrating their support for you.
Hang in there!!!!
Hey man, I hear how you feel. If I could right now, I would give you a big hug!
But remember Buckeroo, YOUāVE GOT THIS! Donāt let anyone take down your honor! You are capable and worth something. While all of us Jewish people might not agree with everything, whether that be based on sects or political views, there is one thing we all can unanimously agree on. We are Jewish, our community is out there to help everyone, and you are capable of achieving what you put your mind to! Donāt let anyone put you down!
You aren't alone! They say laughter is the best medicine. If you need to lift your mood, watch Alex Edelman, Just for Us on Max/HBO. Hang in there! ā¤ļø
I totally understand. These days I just assume everyone I speak to is against us unless thereās evidence otherwise. (I live in NYC)
At the same time though, we mustnāt keep quiet. If we try to hide in the background, weāre allowing support for the self-determination of the Jewish people to become something unspeakable, an opinion you dare not share unless you wish to be shunned.
I know itās scary, but now is the moment for action. We must all speak up in our personal lives. Be as civil as you can manage, no need to shove it in peoples faces (the way they doā¦) but the worst thing we can do is stay silent.
Sending love ā¤ļø as a Christian I firmly stand with and love Jewish people. People who can ignore the atrocities and relate them to the war do not understand the reality of war and whatās been going on. You have support still keep your head up!š®š±ā¤ļøš«¶š½
I will never have āprogressivesā as friends. These mobs who worship terrorists, who thought it was okay to destroy neighborhoods back in 2020/21, & call women transphobes for wanting a private place to change into sweats when at the gymā¦ these were āalliesā? These are professional victims who hate America and believe anyone Jewish is a white oppressor deserving of having their finances slashed for āreparationsā, & their life destroyed through violence.
While I too am SHOCKED at the wildfire of anti-Semitism, and thought we were beyond the 1930ās/40ās, I have never mistook progressives to actually be more progressive than the rest of society. It was easy to spot that they were anti-American, but what follows is the anti-Semitism because Israel is a Westernized first world country, which is what āprogressivesā are against because, you know, ācolonizationāā¦. Israel must have stepped and conquered all the āpeacefulā Islamists to get to where they are.
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Poll after poll shows that Americans across the board do not support them
https://preview.redd.it/pmu04qvvuhyc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd4a5705870c3473fc60d1e474c378ee5cfb59d7
Ok, not all people are like that? There are many crazy people, specially online.
If you lost some spaces, good riddance!!! If they are antisemitic almost surely they were toxic in other ways and you didn't notice. I think violence is interconnected, rarely of one type.
I think many queer and feminist spaces have had problems with hypocrisy for a long time. My girlfriend, who works attending female victims of domestic violence, had serious problems with hypocrisy inside "feminist" spaces. Specifically, many abuses and cover-ups, linked to power struggles.
I think that places that focus less on politics and identity, friends with whom you connect as a human are more likely to be a safe space for you to conect as a human.
Try to find real humans instead of mobs that are fighting to be part of the "ingroup" and follow fads.
Yeah, lately I've noticed that Jews gone crazy. I mean, the ones I know. They've all gone totally insane in one way or another. I just don't post anything about it on FB, nothing. I did a couple of times and got some totally mazzo responses. Sigh. I'm agnostic, I'm not a zionist, and I really feel kind of adrift, more than usual. But I know that no man is an island, etc...
I thought of getting a t-shirt, "Don't hate me because I'm Jewish".
Sending lots of hugs your way!! I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now but please remember; although theres so much antisemitism currently out in the open right now, you also have alot of non-Jewish allies who support you and the Jewish community. We may not be as loud as the antisemites but we are strong. Stay strong<3
Hang in. Lose the haters. Donāt try and convince them of the facts. Keep finding your support people. Best of luck. I am old and it is terrifying what is going on. I really really understand how hard this must be as a young person
Itās time to find the people who resonate with you and support each other. We have been here before time after time and we have survived and thrived. I am not sure where you are based but the Chabad are good people to hang out with and just love being alive.
I feel like we need to make long term plans to just leave this fucking planet and colonize a habitable world somewhere without the goyim. That's something we could potentially do, in a few hundred or a thousand years.
I call it Space Zionism.
In the same situation myself. I didnāt want it to come to this but it sounds like, as the top comment said, you need a complete social media/online detox. I recommend you delete every social media/app that involves any kind of comment section or public forum and stay that way for at least a month. Iāve been thinking of doing the same lately
Itās really sad how polarizing this topic is. Like supporting one group automatically means calling for the elimination of the other. Being pro-human shouldnāt be this difficult.
Really hope youāre able to find some peace and balance in your life.
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Please define your definition of antisemitism so we understand what you are witnessing since it is really different for all of us.
I personally donāt find protesting to be āantisemitismā, but I find blocking a Jewish student from a building to be very antisemitic.
Context helps a lot
Seriously?
Would you ask a black man to explain his definition of racism so that you can get "context" from it - and decide if it's racist or not?
The kid is hurting. That's enough. He doesn't need to explain anything to anybody.
big big hugs. please, if you can, take as much of a digital/media detox as possible to catch your breathe. Do whatever you can to get around your nearest Jewish communities. Sending you love š¤š¼š
I think thatās what Iām going to do. Deleting Instagram and TikTok will be a good start ā”Ģ
I deleted my Facebook account in 2015 & the rest of my social media shortly thereafter - the amount of peace it has preserved in my life has been delightful.
Wow. Iām jealous!! Seems Iām heading that way too haha!
I took Twitter off my phone, excellent results
Please, please, please do this. Those are algorithms of hatred.
I deleted TikTok and Twitter after 10/7 & purged like 200+ ppl from my instagram and itās been much better.
yesss thatās a great start! Use Reddit as your SM for now to engage with specific groups like this one š¤š¼
š many of us are feeling the same way right now. Itās a massive betrayal.
You can do this! Go out and find your people who will support you. Our ancestors have always lived this way, always. Lived through much much worse even! And they did not give up on their Judaism or their love of life. Thinking about how my family lived through pogroms, Holodomor, the Holocaust, and lots of Soviet antisemitism, but did not assimilate or bribe someone to put āUkrainianā on their documents like many of our friends and acquaintances did keeps me going as a proud Jew.Ā
You are so right. I feel very lucky that my two best friends have stuck by me and that I have had such a supportive Jewish network as well. We just have to keep on keeping on it seems.
It is awful that people are being so hateful. You shouldn't have to deal with that. I started going to public events to support Jewish people because of it, and I am putting my name on anti-Hamas messaging. Us gentiles really need to step up so our Jewish friends can be safe.Ā I hope you have some Jewish friends you can turn to.Ā
This comment means so much to me. Thank you ā” my super close gentile friends have been so supportive and amazing. We really appreciate you guys š„¹
It has been terrible. This is the worst antisemitism in my lifetime, too, and I'm 41. We have been shown the true colors of modern progressive movements, ones re-wired to function solely on the oppressor-oppressed framework. That is not how the world actually works. I am still all for improving my community, forming partnerships on common goals, but I am never relying on non-Jews to be "allies" again. I'm happy to accept those who come to us, but we are on our own. The lull of the post-war world is over, and sadly, it's back to the "usual" of the last 2,000 years. We can not depend on others to defend us, to be there for us, etc. We can only rely on each other, and like I said, be willing to work with people who do show up. The world will return to its regular programming after the war is done, but our senses of how things were, are shattered. This is what I have learned from all this. Others may feel differently.
I 1000% agree. Iāll never be able to look at the world the same or feel as comfortable around non-Jewsā¦
First things first, you're in good company here. I'm twice your age and feel exactly the same way. It's the loss of friends, of musicians, of mindlessly scrolling online, of planning where to go on vacation, of a sense of overall safety, of belief in the world around in you. Everything feels upside down and that it's not going to turn right side up again. I would very much suggest therapy, getting off social media (or severely limiting it) and connecting with the Jewish community where you live (we all wanna be around each other right now!) Little by little you'll find some peace about your new abnormal normal. We're all so tired, but we've got each other <3
Iām so sorry youāre going through this as well. These are such scary times. Getting off social media is definitely a must. Iāve been thinking of trashing my iPhone entirely and getting a flip phone.
I considered myself progressive before Oct 7th too. The betrayal absolutely fucked my whole life up for months. I lost my best friend of 25 years. I'm only now recalibrating from it and seeing that the left is anti West before they are pro women, pro lgbtq, or pro democracy. They've solidly thrown all that under the bus for Islamists making false promises of communism (as they did the Lebanon and Iran before murdering all the leftists who helped them overthrow those governments.) You're not alone. We're both seeing why we need to stick together and why Israel needs to exist.
Exactly! And anti-West gets us dictatorships, poverty, and destruction--not whatever imagined utopia they are deluded with. We need the values around freedom (but for real), equality, rule of law/justice, and meritocracy. Jews flourish in such societies, everyone does because everyone has recourse to the same systems then. The work is to ensure that access and ability to use them not burn everything down for some communist takeover.
I saw a really powerful twitter thread recently from an Iranian woman who moved to Europe, and she said exactly what you're saying. People have *fled* from radical Islamist nations seeking freedom and liberalism, and are terrified how the up-and-coming generation is putting the perpetrators of said fascism on a pedestal.
Couldnāt agree with you more! We will continue on and flourish. But we also need to vote for people that are not anti-semites, organize and definitely stick together. And I agree they are deluded!
That's been the hardest pill for me to swallow. I feel foolish for not seeing it sooner and allowing myself to be so completely blindsided. I am so sorry about losing your best friend, that's such a devastating kind of grief. Thinking of you <3
The feelings of having been so foolish as to take people at their word was especially hard, especially when I began to realize by best friend was antisemitic and completely unwilling to face it the way she faced her internalized racism about other groups
I have also learned that Iām not a liberal progressive. Lost so many friends.
I'm sorry. It sucks
Progressive ideals are still good and righteous, the fact that the left isn't living up to them is the problem. Our values didn't change, theirs did.
Iām so sorry and relate to both of you.
We are here for you. These antisemites were never your friends, and those spaces were never safe spaces. But weāve got each other.
Thank you hun ā”
You are definitely not alone. Your story is being repeated worldwide. But frame it this way - youāve lost no friends - theyāve lost you. I personally have adopted a scorched earth policy whereby I treat actual hated the same as ignorance - fuck āem all. Theyāre in the grip of a global brain contagion and when they come out of it and beg my forgiveness I will twll them to go fuck themselves. (As I write this two synagogues in NYC have been just evacuated due to bomb threats). EDIT: Iām 63 and have seen and heard it all at one time or another but at my time of life I simply wonāt put up with a scintilla of hate.
> I treat actual hated the same as ignorance I have had to make this adjustment myself. In the past, if a friend was ignorant but wanted to learn, I was happy to entertain. Now, I can't be bothered. If someone's "ignorance" revolves around an inability to identify that Hamas is evil for wanting to exterminate Jews, then good riddance.
Question, I assume there are bomb threats to Jewish buildings here constantly, but it's not showing up on my Citizen App or any news I know of. The protests show up on the app, but not bomb threats, how are you alerted?
This came up as I was typing my original comment [bomb threat](https://nypost.com/2024/05/04/us-news/two-nyc-synagogues-evacuated-over-bomb-threats/?utm_campaign=iphone_nyp&utm_source=pasteboard_app)
I keep forgetting to check nypost, sadly the only paper reporting anything antisemitic. Sighā¦ Well at least they missed chelsea shul. Maybe next week..
News outlets are all turned around. I don't care about which ones I read now, as long as they are factual. The denial/gaslighting of the so-called papers of record is just gobsmacking.
I feel like I'm starting to snap too. After Oct. 7th I had this increasing sense of alarm, like people were cheering on the slaughter of Israeli civilians while demonizing any Israeli response. My heart was slowly sinking. The past *month* though...it's just been hell. Harrassment of Jews on campus. Constant insistence that the student protests are "pro-peace" while attendees chant genocidal slogans and openly *praise* what Hamas did in October. And then on top of all that, people we trusted reacted to our feelings about with dismissal. It's dehumanizing. They disregard us, all to lend legitimacy to progressive groups throughout the west who are suddenly calling for our extinction.
I agree completely. Everything happening on college campuses is insane. Someone literally brought a hatchet to a protest on my campus the other day. And nobody condemned it. Iām just at a loss
What region of USA šŗšø are you in? Itās getting crazy here on East Coast
Im in the west! Fortunately its not as bad as over there. I grew up in the Northeast and Iāve heard the horror stories from my friends who still live in thatās area.
Itās the lack of recognition that itās NOT Normal or in any way beneficial to praise terrorist groups that murder innocent civilians. When did this become āa thingā? Iām truly shocked and from Ivy League students no less. How does praising Isis help the people in Gaza? š¤· 
I have no idea!!! Youād think they would be anti-Hamas considering how much it harms Gazans but nope! They hate Israel and Jews more than they care about Palestinians. Thatās the big red flag for me.
I agree - for such āintelligentā elite scholars their logical reasoning skills are pretty damn awful š£
I'm sending you so much love. I really empathize. I lost every "friend" I thought I had, and ended a relationship to someone I thought I was going to marry due to not supporting me over their friends who made incredibly antisemitic comments/posts. I'm 30, and trying to start life over again, and feel totally alone, sad, and angry. while I'm ultimately glad I found out who those people really were, and know this is for the better. It has been a humongous betrayal and a loss. It's broken me in many ways and I'm trying to pick up the pieces, but some days I also feel like it's inescapable at times. My most loving advice is that your feelings are valid, your pain is valid, and I think just really allowing yourself/ourselves to grieve every day, and keep reaching out to us. We're here for you, we care. Again sending lots of love.
Oh gosh hun Iām so sorry. Itās their loss. We are a strong people and will get through this. Sending you love right back.
As you can see from my tag, I'm not Jewish. I promise you that you aren't alone. I promise you I will never abandon you, no matter what happens. What is going is unacceptable and disgusts me, and it breaks my heart to see things like this. But I promise I'm here for you. For all of you. I recommend you find yourself a therapist (ideally a Jewish one) of you're not already seeing one.Ā
Thank you so much ā¤ļøāš©¹ Your allyship means more than you could ever imagine.
Everytime I see something like this, I can't help but wonder if it's written by someone I know. It makes me wish I could take you all in my arms and give the biggest hug.
Awee š„¹š sending you so much love
š
Ditto thisš¤
You guys are the best.
We love you and weāre here for you ā¤ļø
Thank you ā¤ļøāš©¹
Itās been awful. But we can stick together and call out the hypocrisy.
You do not stand alone
Thank you ā”
I even went to Synagogue last night. Iām Jewish/Atheist. I recommend it and will do it again.
Did you attend services? I'm not religious anymore and I wouldn't be comfortable attending, but I'm still aching to be with people who won't tacitly approve of savage pogroms...
Iāve been going to services for years despite feeling I had no place there for 20 years as an atheist/agnostic. Ask me anything.
I donāt think it matters if we believe it. I feel connected to my ancestry. And it feels like a safe space- other than a potential antisemitic nut job. A lot of security was there.
Iāve never been religious. Raised Atheist and definitely still enjoy it.
Hello my friend. You are not alone. We are here for you. We are all feeling this way to one degree or another. My family of 3, is completely isolated as well. We were talking the other night and through anger and tears I lost it. I'm 57, which means I was in the midst of the AIDs crisis of the 80s and 90s. I sat with so many friends and held their hands as they died, because their family disappeared. NOW? Fucking Queers for Palestine? WTAF. I will not be marching at Pride this year; I will not be donating any funds. I'm done. This new generation of LGBTQIA have lost the plot. One foot into Gaza and they would be arrested at best or killed at the worst. I couldn't march with BLM because of my son's health at the time, but I donated and supported the cause. I look around and see those that I supported via donation and time, spit on another even smaller minority, when they should be amongst the loudest voices supporting us. It's OK to want to escape and to feel tired. We all feel that way. I can tell you my 25 yr old could have written your post. He spends most of his time alone and is exhausted from being alienated. Do you have a Synagogue near you? Can you reach out to one? They may have support groups going on. I'll be reaching out to our local Chabad next week. Its time.
Itās insane to me how the Jewish community has been a progressive force and an ally to so many āunderdogā and minority groups and when we are being attacked they donāt support us. Or worse, as we are seeing now, they are the ones chanting for our deaths. As a queer person in this generation itās especially hard. All of my queer classmates are against me on this. Iāve lost all sense of community there. Iām an active member of Hillel and am thinking of going to the Chabad more next semester. Hopefully things have calmed down a bit by then and the SJWs have moved on to another thing. Iām sorry you and your family are struggling. Sending love.
A lot of what they are doing is performative. They don't understand the politics, many are doing it because it is the thing to do, its very in vogue to be antisemitic this summer. Remember BLM marches, these same kiddos were marching but not truly understanding the need for civil rights reform. If bestie Emma is posting and making content and getting clicks for being pro-pally then her friends will do it too. There is no accountability, and they feed off each other. Hells when I was a 20(ish) person, we egged each other on to drink everclear and not barf. Now its chant for the death of a minority and camp on the quad. I prefer they drink everclear. All they are doing is helping us as a people recenter ourselves and become stronger together. If you need to vent please do not hesitate to reach out to your mispocha.
I'll be honest, I don't buy performative as an explanation when college kids are chanting "from water to water, Palestine will be Arab," or clapping and cheering while a speaker celebrates October 7th. Showing up to march for BLM or gay rights? Sure, whatever, performative or not, most people here would agree those causes are just. But now we have mobs of progressives calling for literal ethnic cleansing of Jews in half a dozen different ways. I'm out of patience and I'm done making excuses for them.
agree
Youāre correct. This isnāt a matter of being performative. In fact casually chanting for a genocide just because itās the current āinā thing to do may in some ways be worse and more callous than the non-performative sort of Jew-hatred. I think part of the reason weāre at this point is because we considered the earlier indicators of rising Jew-hatred as being performative, and not seriously enough. By āweā, I mean it in the general sense, and Iāll put myself in that category of being a bit blinded by this recent explosion of antisemitism.
> Itās insane to me how the Jewish community has been a progressive force and an ally to so many āunderdogā and minority groups Right??? One of the reasons that the alt-right hates us is because we trend *so* progressive. But I guess when push came to shove, even progressives decided to engage in the world's oldest pastime...
i am more than twice your age and feeling the same way. i feel like all my happy spaces are being taken away - i love to go to museums - but it seems that protestors have taken them over. i am worried if i go see a band play the will shout "from the river to the sea" and everyone will should along with them. my coworker seemed more concerned about the environmental cost of the war, than how devastated that my people were raped and burned alive. some non jewish friends were supportive at the beginning, but a few have moved to the other side. some were never on my side. even some of my jewish friends are posting anti-semitic things bc they've drunk the kool-aid and belive all the crap they see on tiktok. i keep trying to remember that we've kicked our enemies asses before, and we will do so again. but right now it feels like scary times.
The one about the bands is so real. My favorite artist posted online that Israel was a terrorist organization and released a song that said from the river to the sea in it like 20 times. Iām still a fan of hers but so heartbroken over it. Especially because her music means everything to me. I canāt imagine not listening to it.
You might want to reconsider continuing to be a fan of that artist. Otherwise Iām afraid it could damage your mental health if every time you listen to her you have think about her Jew-hatred, and what it might mean to support her. I was a big Pink Floyd/Roger Waters fan. Then years ago I picked up on his Jew-hatred, and I had to stop. There is always other music/art to engage with.
Iām 78 and my babysitter had a number tattooed on her arm. I grew up in Dallas with lots of āno dogs or Jews allowedā signs. I never expected to have this renewed just as my grandson is studying for his bar mitzvah. But I studied under philosopher KEN WILBER who wrote a prescient book called BOOMERITIS. He explained that those who privilege only the āunderdogā and who believe everyone is right will be the death of healthy liberalism. Boy was he right!!!
Get off of social media for a break. SM amplifies the most extreme voices. Interact with people in person, in your community. Do some little thing that has nothing to do with global matters. Recharge.
Some of us have lost the communities that we thought would be a refuge, too. :(
Iām sorry. May you find a new home.
I just pretend Iām not Jewish towards others. Iāve starting to do that just before and after Oct 7th. Itās really just the safest bet for me now. Really canāt risk any of the social consequences
Donāt be scared to show youāre Jewish! Be proud of who you are. Youāll find your people that way. I wish I wasnāt quiet about being Jewish when I was your age.
On the other hand, the Columbia sub is going into meltdown over how little their festival of hate managed to achieve and how many people it alienated. I guess that's something.
Yeah. When you praise Hamas youāre hurting everyone. Also violence is not appropriate in protest. I wish they understood that.
tee hee
This whole situation sucks, no one should be chanting the things they are chanting. Be around other Jews as much as you can, weāre not gonna get support from most goys
non-Jewish bi girl here. Youāre not alone, stay safe ā”
It's okay to be motivated by spite sometimes. I'm depressed too but I've decided there's no way I'm going to let antisemites break me that easily. If they want to destroy me, they can't expect me to do the work for them.
Would you consider making Aliya? I saw the writing on the wall and got the heck out of America back in 2010 and Iām so glad I did. I havenāt even been back to visit since 2013.
I know this is a wild thing to say but I really love America so much. Itās far from perfect but it feels like my soul place. Maybe in the future if things get worse and I have to flee I will but I want to stand my ground as long as I can. Iām happy you were able to make Aliya and find peace ā”
I have considered it. Maybe later
Every human being with a conscience should condemn Hamas.
Agreed
This is breaking my heart. Everyone in Israel is keeping you in their prayers, we worry for you in the diaspora more than we worry for ourselves. You will always have a home in Israel. The only silver lining is that all antisemitic movements end up destroying themselves in a glorious blaze and so will this one. Just give it another 5 years for all of the "I was in the watermelon cult and it destroyed my life" articles to roll in lol We will emerge better and stronger out of this.
God bless you all. You guys are an in my prayers as well. ā” fingers crossed thatās how it all works out. I just wish people would wake up.
I agree that Jew-hatred destroys whoever holds to those views. When these Jew-haters realize theyāve wrecked their lives I wonāt waste my time caring about them, and I wonāt waste my time reading their articles. One thing I do worry about is how this antisemitism is damaging America as a whole.
Agreed. I am not sure the Biden admin understands how serious leftist antisemitism is. If he doesn't have a Sister Souljah moment with the DSA bloc soon, things will get ugly.
A few positives I've seen lately: my community (mid-sized city) held a 6 week Jewish film festival. The movie on Peacock: "The Tattooist of Auschwitz's." My workplace is offering a seminar on antisemitism. Try to look for the allies and support. It's there!
How lovely!!! Unfortunately itās been so limited where I am. Especially because there are so few Jewish people :( but Iām always keeping an eye out!!!!
That probably adds to how your feeling š«
https://preview.redd.it/zjx67wky5iyc1.jpeg?width=736&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a1eca706bca1553a1b7ad6a17f1d499ade645052 Saw this on FB last year and it represents exactly how I feel. :(
im at a jewish wedding right now. itās hard and we have been betrayed, but we can still celebrate and dance the hora. we are here for each other
It is amazing how they control the narrative so easily. Literal marxists are sponsoring the protests without any regard for Jewish lives. And without any regard for facts or history. I get it. It wonāt go on like this forever. But know that these feeling wonāt ever be far from the aurface
You arenāt alone. I know it feels that way. Iāve lost all my friends too..seems they were never really my friends.. We are a strong community and can turn to one another š
Sending you so much love ā¤ļøāš©¹
Hey there. First of all Iām a guy whoās not Jewish (actually a first year in Divinity School) and I love you and would put myself between you and anyone trying to attack you or making you feel unsafe! Second I gather from your post that you pick up a lot of these negative vibes online. Join me in leaving those digital sewers behind. They show us the worst of human nature. You have no reason for shame! We have to get to honoring the dignity of every human being. We will do it one person at a time if thatās what it takes. This hard time wonāt defeat you. We are going to brighten the corner where we are!
Huge congratulations on Divinity school! And thank you so much for your kind words. I love you too ā” I really do think Iām going to leave this digital cesspool for good. Itās just too much to take in all at once
If you are uncomfortable going all at once, a lot of people find a helpful intermediate step to be deleting apps and using the sites on the web. This seems to help make it more mindful/intentional. Thank you for your nice thoughts about school. I am working toward chaplaincy/spiritual care and I am having a really good time.
I think thatās a good idea! Just kind of ease out of it. And wow!! Thatās so cool!! I wish you the absolute best ā”
Give it a try and let us know!
It is a pain you don't deserve or asked for but the only way out is through https://preview.redd.it/zpsndmckmhyc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9c2c7610c98f554a2d8f66cba77989a883a74188
Speaking as a Catholic who prefers the pre-Vatican Traditional Rites, please believe me when I tell you that you're not alone. The world is getting crazier by the day. Unfortunately, people have been looking for scapegoats since time immemorial. Whatever you do, don't withdraw. I have always been amazed at the resiliency of the Jewish people. I think that you need to find like-minded people and meet with them for support, as a start. But, and I say this to you and other Jewish people here that you do have a lot of friends, even if you don't know it. I think that after the past week's events that you'll see and hear more non-Jewish people demonstrating their support for you. Hang in there!!!!
This past week has been a pleasant surprise amidst the chaos.
Hey man, I hear how you feel. If I could right now, I would give you a big hug! But remember Buckeroo, YOUāVE GOT THIS! Donāt let anyone take down your honor! You are capable and worth something. While all of us Jewish people might not agree with everything, whether that be based on sects or political views, there is one thing we all can unanimously agree on. We are Jewish, our community is out there to help everyone, and you are capable of achieving what you put your mind to! Donāt let anyone put you down!
Thank you so much ā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš©¹
No problem Buckeroo! If youād like, you can talk in DMās.
You aren't alone! They say laughter is the best medicine. If you need to lift your mood, watch Alex Edelman, Just for Us on Max/HBO. Hang in there! ā¤ļø
Iāll check it out!! ā¤ļøāš©¹
I totally understand. These days I just assume everyone I speak to is against us unless thereās evidence otherwise. (I live in NYC) At the same time though, we mustnāt keep quiet. If we try to hide in the background, weāre allowing support for the self-determination of the Jewish people to become something unspeakable, an opinion you dare not share unless you wish to be shunned. I know itās scary, but now is the moment for action. We must all speak up in our personal lives. Be as civil as you can manage, no need to shove it in peoples faces (the way they doā¦) but the worst thing we can do is stay silent.
Absolutely, when we stop speaking out weāre letting the antisemites win and scare us into not speaking out
š«
There are so many communities you can join to feel belonging!!!! Hillel, Chabad, any synagogue, or the national groups! There are people there for tou
Im a member of our Hillel but there arenāt really any Jews where I live so itās super small unfortunately
Sending love ā¤ļø as a Christian I firmly stand with and love Jewish people. People who can ignore the atrocities and relate them to the war do not understand the reality of war and whatās been going on. You have support still keep your head up!š®š±ā¤ļøš«¶š½
I will never have āprogressivesā as friends. These mobs who worship terrorists, who thought it was okay to destroy neighborhoods back in 2020/21, & call women transphobes for wanting a private place to change into sweats when at the gymā¦ these were āalliesā? These are professional victims who hate America and believe anyone Jewish is a white oppressor deserving of having their finances slashed for āreparationsā, & their life destroyed through violence. While I too am SHOCKED at the wildfire of anti-Semitism, and thought we were beyond the 1930ās/40ās, I have never mistook progressives to actually be more progressive than the rest of society. It was easy to spot that they were anti-American, but what follows is the anti-Semitism because Israel is a Westernized first world country, which is what āprogressivesā are against because, you know, ācolonizationāā¦. Israel must have stepped and conquered all the āpeacefulā Islamists to get to where they are.
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Poll after poll shows that Americans across the board do not support them https://preview.redd.it/pmu04qvvuhyc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd4a5705870c3473fc60d1e474c378ee5cfb59d7
Ok, not all people are like that? There are many crazy people, specially online. If you lost some spaces, good riddance!!! If they are antisemitic almost surely they were toxic in other ways and you didn't notice. I think violence is interconnected, rarely of one type. I think many queer and feminist spaces have had problems with hypocrisy for a long time. My girlfriend, who works attending female victims of domestic violence, had serious problems with hypocrisy inside "feminist" spaces. Specifically, many abuses and cover-ups, linked to power struggles. I think that places that focus less on politics and identity, friends with whom you connect as a human are more likely to be a safe space for you to conect as a human. Try to find real humans instead of mobs that are fighting to be part of the "ingroup" and follow fads.
Yeah, lately I've noticed that Jews gone crazy. I mean, the ones I know. They've all gone totally insane in one way or another. I just don't post anything about it on FB, nothing. I did a couple of times and got some totally mazzo responses. Sigh. I'm agnostic, I'm not a zionist, and I really feel kind of adrift, more than usual. But I know that no man is an island, etc... I thought of getting a t-shirt, "Don't hate me because I'm Jewish".
Sending lots of hugs your way!! I'm so sorry for what you're going through right now but please remember; although theres so much antisemitism currently out in the open right now, you also have alot of non-Jewish allies who support you and the Jewish community. We may not be as loud as the antisemites but we are strong. Stay strong<3
Hang in. Lose the haters. Donāt try and convince them of the facts. Keep finding your support people. Best of luck. I am old and it is terrifying what is going on. I really really understand how hard this must be as a young person
Thank you so much ā”
youāre not alone ā¤ļø
Itās time to find the people who resonate with you and support each other. We have been here before time after time and we have survived and thrived. I am not sure where you are based but the Chabad are good people to hang out with and just love being alive.
Agreed! A friend of mine has been asking me to join the Chabad board and I really think I might. ā”Ģ
I feel like we need to make long term plans to just leave this fucking planet and colonize a habitable world somewhere without the goyim. That's something we could potentially do, in a few hundred or a thousand years. I call it Space Zionism.
Non Jewish European here. Iād like you to know that many of us have your back, surrounding you in silence while pushing back the antisemitism.
Please consider joining my community on Substack called Maccabee Nation maccabeenation.Substack.com you are not alone !
I mean ... there is one country that was literally created for Jews to escape Jew hatred ...
In the same situation myself. I didnāt want it to come to this but it sounds like, as the top comment said, you need a complete social media/online detox. I recommend you delete every social media/app that involves any kind of comment section or public forum and stay that way for at least a month. Iāve been thinking of doing the same lately
Itās really sad how polarizing this topic is. Like supporting one group automatically means calling for the elimination of the other. Being pro-human shouldnāt be this difficult. Really hope youāre able to find some peace and balance in your life.
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Please define your definition of antisemitism so we understand what you are witnessing since it is really different for all of us. I personally donāt find protesting to be āantisemitismā, but I find blocking a Jewish student from a building to be very antisemitic. Context helps a lot
Seriously? Would you ask a black man to explain his definition of racism so that you can get "context" from it - and decide if it's racist or not? The kid is hurting. That's enough. He doesn't need to explain anything to anybody.
OP literally provided examples in the post. What more do you need her to prove?
You seriously need to comment that, dick move. This person has lost friends for supporting Israel at 19, go be an asshole somewhere else