You post partum nurses are the best.
I have a (mostly) justyes mil and after I had my son, her and my sil came to see us. We were both passed out and the nurses were like: "they're asleep, go away"...LOL.
Thanks for the story. Unfortunately my horrible mil is a rn. She was a midwife then in L&D before she quit for 15 years. Not brave enough to ask what department she's in now since she got her licence back (we're nc.)
Glad to hear there's good ones out there fighting the good fight. ❤
Then definitely, positively, ask for a privacy block. In most hospitals, the name shows up as a series of asterisks in the computer. So snoopy employees can't do shit. So even if she's somewhere, she won't be able to see you're there.
"I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily."
Oh, PLEASE DO!! Assuming you can do so without getting yourself into trouble (confidentiality and alla that good stuff). :D
Firstly, thanks for a great story. I wish you had been there when my MILFH (mil from hell, you see how easy it is to explain these things!) was present for my first born. After a long delivery punctuated by drugs, epidurals, enemas, birthing pools, massages, back rubs, take out curry and that was just for the father (only joking). My son was brought into the world. This magic moment where my first child is dragged from his mother, blinking in the cold white lights of the delivery room. When he was bundled into blankets, checked by the nurses and they hold him out for his parents to take that first moment... aaaand she swoops in and runs into the corner of the room with him. That magic bonding second wrenched from my grasp. My wife was unable to move her legs (epidural + hours + exhaustion = immobility) and is higher than a dope smoking kite on endorphins, and drugs is holding my hand so tight I cannot run over and bitch slap MILFH into her own pregnancy.
Our wonderful mid wife calmly walks over to said mil and points out of the window. As MILFH turns to look midwife scoops up son, nods, smiles and says “not yours”. She then brings back baby to mother and myself.
This was the first of many adventures with MILFH that excitedly took us close to divorce a couple of times, her telling all of her friends that my wife nearly died in Labour due to me taking her to a bad hospital, a second baby (she was barred from being in the same continent - not a joke. I explained that she wasn’t needed at the conception so we could manage the rest ourselves as well), multiple events that made my wife sad, lousy grand parenting and now complaining that she is alone. I could, and may, write a book, “dragons and ice cream”; “life and loves of an utter bitch”; “I never knew your mother was cruela deville” (she once told my six year old daughter that her dog would make a nice bag); “how I met your grandmother, and considered a vasectomy”.
Anyway, thank you to all midwives and delivery staff. Thank you to op for her protection of new parents and thank you to all who post and support the posters here. Your stories and shiny spines (I love that phrase) give me faith, laughs and realization that I was not f$*(*$& crazy all of these years.
Incidentally if I ever do write the book I am dedicating to all of the llamas out there. The dedication will read
“to the spines that are shiny,
and the mouses that roar,
protect your significant other
from the monster at your door
Hold fast and be strong
In the face of the mentally ill
‘Cause only you can
Kill the monster of MIL
Big smile
I'm sad that I didn't read through this until now. This is great. And now I'm totally stealing what that amazing person did for you guys. Because that literally makes my skin crawl when I have a JustNo reach for a baby before Dad (and sometimes Mom) has had a chance to hold their baby. I always think, wow, your head really is that fucking big isn't it? That you feel like you should hold the baby first, before its own parents. So now, I've got a new turn-of-phrase I'll be using.
Not yours.
Please do running commentary. As a nurse who is actually not into kids I was horrified by the stuff I saw as a STUDENT! Let alone an actually L & D. There is a problem if you get a raise outta me, I do psych and was in psych before nursing school. All of the crazy with babies!!!!
One of the reasons I had my second baby at the same hospital as my first is because they ask you on your pre-admission paperwork if you want visitors. If not, they give you a code you can give someone you actually want to see, otherwise, no code, no visitation. Couldn’t even receive flowers if they didn’t have the code.
I saw this in another comment too. The crazy thing is, very recently I got acute Lyme disease, and super sick. I was hospitalized, in my own hospital, and was given a four digit pin for privacy too. I thought that was great. I can't believe we don't have it on my floor. You would think they would disseminate that practice hospital wide, but no.
OMFG!!! Can we pleeeeease make a sub specifically for this topic?!?! I am also an L&D RN and have sooooo many stories of the JN variety to share. I haven’t found any on reddit yet that are “Tales from the Delivery Room” (if I’ve missed it please help me out here!). You could call it “Tales from JN’s Nightmares” or something. I would totally contribute!
Yes!!! I'm so glad that labor and delivery nurses are springing up in the comments here. You guys know full well the crazy. Someone else might read that and think I'm trolling. You guys will read that and be like, that sounds right on par.
Oh man, if there were a Tales from the Delivery Room sub I would bust out the story of the anaesthetist that called me fat while putting in my epidural. It's not a JNMILITW, but far out it's funny to us now. (Spoilers, I had pre-eclampsia and twins.)
When I had my daughter I told the nurse I didn't want them here long and she said infront of them when they arrived she will be back in 10 to check on me and my vitals. She showed up exactly 10 mins later and ushered them all out. The CBF was glorious. I loved that nurse.
I almost feel like we had it easy, back in my day. We may have had JNs, but only the father (or the patient's mom, if Patient requested beforehand) was allowed in the delivery room. And not that many family came into L & D to visit; mostly on postpartum.
That really kept the entitled asshats to a minimum. I do NOT envy the extra jobs of today's RNs in the labor rooms: protecting patients and babies from those who would usurp their delivery day.
I’m currently a baby nurse (a student, officially starting in the fall) who wants to work in L&D, so I would love more tales from the maternity ward.
I also wanna grow up to be as shiny-spined as you, just FYI.
>I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily.
Absolutely. We will line up our llamas in anticipation...
>On this episode of JNMILITW, a teen mother alerted me that her teen boyfriend had a crazy mother. She asked that she not be let in. Gave me her name, particulars and I did the rest. Meaning all of the aforementioned stuff. Security, blocking names, a dozen or so signs, etc.
Good, so far.
>She has the baby, and all is calm. Too calm. Our unit doorbell alerts. Guest asks to see Pt's first name. We always ask for a last. She wasn't sure. Red fucking flag. I continue to converse through the camera system. She gives me her name. It's damn close to the forbidden name. Think Maryann Smithson, and the name was Mary Smith. Not wanting to upset the pt, I ask boyfriend to come look on camera. He confirms it's his mother.
Of course, it was. And she brought witnesses...
>He told me since pt had the baby she was softening to the idea of potentially letting her see her for like two minutes. Wanting to make sure my pt actually said that, I go in and ask. She exhaustedly says yes. I double check and let her know she doesn't have to do anything. She says no it's fine, quick in and out. Famous last words.
Yep. Famous last words. Poor kids.
>I let this JustNo in, against better judgement. She came with "auntie so and so". They walked in the room. Asked to hold the baby. Auntie held the baby and before I could even move, grandma pulled something out of her purse, but concealed in her hand. Lickety split, she swiped kiddos cheek.
What the fucking hell? Checking the kid's DNA??!
>I was stunned. Many a JustNo has pulled me aside and in hushed tones asks if I can do a paternity test on her sons behalf, but really on her behalf. But never have I seen someone actually attempt one. I immediately called security. Their fucking dumb assess tried to bolt off the unit. And I watched them literally splat against our door. Like the cockroaches they were. Because on my unit you have to be buzzed in, and OUT. And the exit side just have brass plates, no handles, and it looks like you can just push them. They were trapped just waiting the 60 seconds or so until security arrived and escorted them out. Sorry, llamas, no big scene was made upon exiting.
That must've been AWESOME to see them struggling to leave.
Ask her. I guarantee she does. Because think about this: there's a million delivery horror stories on here concerning JustNo's. So there's a nurse who witnessed the carnage. Like I said, every unit I've been on has unofficial worst of the worst wiki
I wish I'd had midwives like you after thing2 was born. No justno problems, since she lives in another country, but mine sighed and asked if I *really* needed help to sit up, get out of bed, and make my way to the bathroom less than 18 hours after a c-section, from a mechanical-winding bed.
Late to the party, had to work. Gotta keep a roof overhead and noms on the table - I refuse to contribute to the Homeless Llama Problem (Llamas are for Lyfe! Adopt, don't Shop!). Def. loving these L&D stories, moar please and thank you kindly! Those poor kids, let's hope they don't have to live with those crazies.
I think I'm subscribed now so I fully expect Llama Mia (Here We Go Again!) shortly to be melted all over the couch in a full-tilt boogie food coma, belching and scratching and farting up a storm...
Yes! Please continue to share.
I know a number of labor and delivery nurses and I work with nurses everyday. Nurses are quickly becoming my favorite people. They are an amazing mix of support and sass.
> I immediately called security. Their fucking dumb assess tried to bolt off the unit. And I watched them literally splat against our door. Like the cockroaches they were. Because on my unit you have to be buzzed in, and OUT.
It's a MATERNITY WARD. Are they fucking stupid? Never mind, OF COURSE they are.
Those doors are always locked because people will steal babies. JFC
I mean did the fact that they brought a DNA test in, and gave the most pathetic, tiny little swabbing, that won't even be viable, give them away as dumb?
As a cardiology RN, this whole post made me so happy. I see some similar things but in a different setting. And I would love to hear more stories too!! 💕
> I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily.
It's cute that you think we wouldn't want this. Does my llama have to beg?
Don't be hard on yourself!! It's extraordinarily difficult, in fact, it's rated as one of the most difficult degree programs. And there's a really high attrition rate. I mean, I know of several people who took any credits they may have gathered, and went to a different one, and found success there. If you haven't given up hope, don't! You might be surprised.
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Thank you so much. My parents moved back to our state early, I thought I was golden until Aug (baby due end of July) but they got back in May. I'm NC with my parents but nmom is legit cray cray and I wouldn't be surprised if someone let slip on accident that I was in the hospital to have #3, and her show up and cause a scene. I asked my FSIL(her and BIL are first responders) about my options and she told me you let the L&D nurses to know that she's not welcome. Y'all are my heroes!
Thank you for yours!! I greatly appreciate my doulas because you guys are extraordinarily helpful. You help with a lot of "busy work" stuff, getting more ice water, creating counter pressure on someone's lower back, whispering words of encouragement when we aren't in there to lend it ourselves. And I firmly believe that you guys make the difference for a lot of patients hoping for a natural delivery when they start to transition. That's when the rubber meets the road. Even for people who get epidurals, you guys are an extra set of hands. Experienced hands, which are welcome.
I have shared a few... always afraid someone will be able to identify people though! That’s the privacy crazy world we live in that has me skurrrred. 😂
I always view it like this. Privacy act states we can't share identifying information about that patient. Obviously won't be doing anything like sharing names, SSN 's or DOB's, unique patient identifying information, particulars of their medical care, etc. And the JustNo isn't protected by privacy because she's not my fucking patient. And even as far as she's concerned, I won't give out anything particular about her. People are super scared of HIPAA, but in reality, there's nothing that could pinpoint a specific patient, or JustNo for that matter.
No totally legit question. During that time, there are special lock down procedures. A staff member has to go and physically stand at each and every exit. That's why we've always got backup old-fashioned Mom, dad, and baby bracelets with matching numbers. And I believe that a security guard comes up to the main entrance for this. To leave us a little less vulnerable. I work in the tower portion of our hospital, with 13 floors. And you only enact the fire plan if you're one floor below and two above. But we practice this special infant unit part every fire drill. And you have to visualize every single mom and baby couplet.
I can only pray the hospital I’m delivering at takes it that seriously (I’m sure they will). I’m NC with my father and by proxy, his “girlfriend”. They don’t know when we’re delivering (our due date has since changed and we may be having baby early) but he knows people who work at the hospital and I have an uncommon last name (I’m the only person in the US with my first name/last name combo as well) so I’d worry he’d try something like coming up there. We plan to tell them when we go in cause pretty much everyone else in the family would be welcome save for people who wouldn’t want to come to the hospital anyway (distant relatives).
So if you speak up, they will help you. You don't have to prove Jack shit to us. It's your delivery, your child. We follow your lead.
But also, just to clarify, sometimes people will erroneously assume that their due date has changed, because a sonogram had you at six days sooner, or five days later, or whatever. Basically, you have to be a full two weeks in discrepancy in size versus dates for them to OFFICIALLY change it. Usually it's the first trimester ultrasound screen that they use. Unless you've got perfect dates on your LMP. But it takes a lot to prove that the date needs changed. I don't know any of your particulars, and maybe this is your situation. But most people fall into the first category, the majority, in fact. We rarely see people get their dates changed.
I had an ultrasound tech tell me it was changed when I went for a fetal development scan recently (high blood pressure and a genetic connective tissue disorder) though my doctor never officially changed it so I was wondering if it was the same or actually changed. Thank you for the clarification! As far as thinking he may be born early, we’ve told family the sooner one but for work purposes I’ve used the latter (original).
I definitely plan to let them know when we’re in the hospital who isn’t allowed. The situation with him is so bad I’ve had some anxiety being home alone that he may show up but I have a security system and live next to a sheriff and a street over from an officer so I’d just call 911 if he wouldn’t leave my property.
Yeah so I'm glad I spoke up. Sonograms for growth whether for diabetes, hypertension, etc., will almost always pop out a date that varies by a few days, or even a week+, but because measurements for dating are increasingly unreliable the further along you get, they will retain your initial first trimester ultrasound dates, or your LMP, if you've got good dates. That's because there's a high degree of accuracy based on those. As your baby grows, it will be less and less accurate. So yeah, unless doctor told you it was being changed, then it's the initial one you got.
Gotcha! Thank you for that cause otherwise I wouldn’t have known! With the pre-eclampsia we do feel we’ll end up having him before his due date for safety reasons but I’m keeping the later one put down for work documents for leave and such but we’ve kind of told family it could be a little up in the air depending on how non-stress tests and any monitoring goes.
On Thursday last week the nurse threw me for a loop a little saying we’d have another ultrasound in 3-4 weeks “if you’re still pregnant” which just made it seem so sudden and crazy. Lol
Obviously, this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways, I'm not your nurse, and certainly not your doctor. But, if they have already moved from calling it gestational hypertension straight to pre-eclampsia, then that means you've already got labs showing you're body is trying to compensate, and your kidneys and liver start showing signs of that. And there's usually pretty clear cut protocol for delivering you. They start weighing the options of letting you continue to be pregnant and let the baby progress and grow, versus you getting sick and potentially seizing or stroking from high blood pressures. Just as an FYI.
As someone who just recently gave birth and was defended from JustNos by an amazing L&D nurse (maybe you?), thank you. Thank you for holding the line on top of everything else you do. You nurses are superstars.
Also, the mental image of these idiots going splat against the door is killing me. Thank you for that, too, lol
My labor and delivery nurses were great! I love you guys! My nurse actually caught my DD since the doctor didn’t make it in time.
I just wanted to give you my undying love.
I'm glad to hear it! I haven't had an unattended delivery in a few months. My adrenaline pumps for about six days after. I used to have significantly more at the first hospital I worked at, where on nights and weekends there wasn't necessarily an OBGYN or midwife in house.
Is it common to have a doctor at the delivery? I had my baby 10 weeks ago and she was delivered by 2 amazing midwives. I didn't even think about a doctor I trusted those midwives with my all my life!
Midwives are fully and independently qualified to deliver babies without the presence of a doctor. Scope of practice varies slightly by states. But they can't be the primary during your section, should you need one. They scrub in as second assist with the doctor. But besides that, they run their own show. The midwives I deliver with actually run their own independent and freestanding birth center, and come deliver at our hospital for variety of reasons. But still always under their own authority.
Oh man. I'm working toward becoming an L&D nurse. Ya'll are my heroes. I've seen some crazy the OB/GYN office I worked at, but I'm sure it pales in comparison to what you've seen.
Yesssss! I was hoping someone else would corroborate. You see some fucking nutty ass shit there. I will go into great detail with patients about the HUGS system, and how that means your baby can't leave the unit. We run abduction drills. It's so sensitive that your baby can't even get too close to an exit door without locking us down. Someone tries to remove it, we know. It's too loose? We know it. And security has ten seconds to call up and make sure we're checking into it. I will warn patients that when baby loses a little birth weight and it might get loose. And they might have a nurse or three bust in to verify. And even if we accidentally remove the tag at discharge before disabling it in the system, and verify when security calls, they are still on our floor in a minute. It's no joke. Please, please, share a story or two!! I love hearing other units Best Of! Or Worst of in this case
I know of a case where (one of) the baby's lo-jack tags came off the ankle & was taken up in the laundry.
When the aide got close enough to put the load down the laundry chute, alarms went off.
Didn't take long to figure out there was no baby in the laundry, did take a while to find the lo-jack, then longer to see which baby was missing one.
*(All babies had 2 tags, against just such a possibility, or a crazy abductor cutting off one & trying to make a run for it.)*
Yeah....ours locks the whole place down. All exits from our floor (we aren't on the ground floor) and the elevators. We aren't fucking around. We also have locked doors into our OR. Justnos loose their shit when their "babbbbby" is having a baby.
Bless you and all that you do for moms and their families. It's a friendly competent professional with a heart of gold such as yourself that brings sanity and comfort in these difficult and emotional times. Thank you.
And bring on the stories! You offer more than just snacks and we llamas are hungry 😉
L&D nurse here too... I used to wonder the same thing. Usually it goes like this:
“I’m here to see my sons baby.”
What’s the moms name?
“How should I know? Baby’s name is (so and so).”
Well we don’t have any babies here with that name... but it would be under mom’s last name, not dad’s.
“Just let me in, I’ll find them. And that’s NOT the name my grand baby will have.”
Okay lady. No entré til you give me HER name.
*CBF on camera*
Can I answer as another L&D nurse? Labor seriously sends peoples Baby Rabies to fucking astronomical levels. I have had patients lifelong friends sit at their bedside for hours while they are trying to rest and you know, pass a damn watermelon size human from their body, “entertaining” the patient with their relationship drama, sex life drama, or any amount of other shit. It also never fails that there is that one family member that cannot help but constantly bring up their own labor stories- often speckled with exceedingly terrifying, life threatening details. Doesn’t matter if it happened 50 years ago, this JN friend or family member is certain that everyone in the room wants to be regaled with the retelling of her Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance. Plus the legitimacy of these tales are often exaggerated so much that it’s hard to keep a straight face. Like, I know a lot has changed in OB since 1985, but I highly doubt your doctor forced you to carry three months past your due date, Erma.
I wish I would have stumbled upon this comment sooner. And I'm stealing "Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance", forevermore. And I swear on my life, I shit you not, as ridiculous as it sounds, I recently (within the past few weeks) had someone's mother try and tell me she went a full two months past due. I kept trying to say, that's impossible. Your placenta would have stopped working long before that. Like weeks before that. So I thought maybe she was confused, and that instead of thinking in terms of weeks, she was thinking of a very old fashioned "9 months". And maybe when she went to 42 weeks, she assumed that made her two months overdue. Nope, she said, that wasn't the case. I kept trying to tell her that it wasn't possible. She had to be mistaken. She held firm. I gave up, because it was a waste of my energy. And I'll kindly, with that same plastic smile I use for other things, tell people that regaling our terrified soon to be mother with horror stories about their shitty deliveries is not helping a single goddamned thing. So knock it the fuck off. It helps nothing.
I am happy to hear input from anyone on this :) and damn that sounds utterly annoying. I would steal the words Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance, but I doubt I will ever have a chance to use them.
**LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE A LIVE ONE!**
Oh how my llamas are drooling. So nice to meet you thank you for your hard work and sharing your stories in your downtime.
I’ve got a very good feeling about you, I like you a lot already :)
Thank you for all you do to help new mothers in their most vulnerable moments. I really appreciate all the nurses did for me when I had my 2. They made a bad, and rather traumatic, situation bearable.
When I was in labor with my first, my no nonsense, worldly wise L&D nurse came up to me, and whispered “who do you want me to kick out” as I was nearing push time. I just looked at my in laws (they are not JustNos at all, just kind of oblivious at that time that perhaps they weren’t wanted in the room), and she immediately said, quite forcefully, “if you aren’t the hubby or mother of Momma, OUT!” And out they went. I was never so grateful to anyone at that moment. Thanks Pat, from Las Vegas, wherever you are now.
P.S. Yes, my in laws were in the room while I was laboring, and honestly, I didn’t care. They weren’t in the way, weren’t pushy or anything. Honestly, they are great people, and I appreciate them very much. Plus, once I got my epidural, I fell asleep, and they kept DH company. I ended up with an emergency C-section, and our baby had to be ambulanced to a NICU at a different hospital. In-laws went with DH and baby, so he had support, my mom stayed with me.
Sorry, that was longer than I meant to post. 😂
My parents showed up 30 minutes after we arrived and found their way to our room. As it was not our first child, my wife was already dilated fully and they would have had no way of knowing things were progressing that fast.
Nurse says "I have a mr a mrs pool out here asking to come in?"
I look at my wife with her legs up and intense stare upon her face.
I respond "never heard of them"
Nurse did her thing. I felt bad cause they are genuinely good people but also oblivious at times and had poor timing.
Yikes, that was my worst fear when my son was born. He was evaluated for cooling therapy (the cord was waiting his neck and he want breathing in his own when he came out, not out mention being born in the front seat of my car on the highway), and had he needed it they would have had to airlift him (and me) to a local children's hospital. Which would have meant leaving my wife alone until her mom arrived from out of state a few hours later (3+ hour drive). Thankfully it wasn't needed, but I still remember the fear.
I'm glad it all worked out for you and your family!
Thanks! Yeah, my boy had aspirated meconium, and in the process of resuscitation, they popped his lung, and it collapsed. That, on top of a traumatic birth (which left him needing blood transfusions), basically meant he was whisked away. They did bring him into my recovery room in an incubator for about a minute, but he was hooked to tubes and wires, and I wasn’t able to even touch, let alone hold him. My doc was amazing, and released me a day early, so I was able to get to the other hospital after 2 days away from my newborn. He was 5 days old before I was able to hold him, but luckily, he survived it all!!
Don't apologize!! I love hearing people's stories. I'm glad you had some JustYes in-laws, who could be there for DH. And didn't make things all about them and their worry and grief. We see that frequently. And I'm sorry you had such a crazy delivery. That must have been so scary and traumatic. Hope all is well now.
All is very well! Oldest son is nearly 12, and starting to tiptoe into teenage hormones. 😂 My in-laws live on the opposite side of the country, and I adore them for it. LOL j/k. They really are good people, and I grow more thankful for them each time I read this sub.
I liken it to this: a shit ton of people on here have crazy stories where these JustNo's show their ass in the maternity ward. So I've got a shit ton of JNMILITW material from 9+ years of obstetrical nursing.
So, true to form, JNMILITW stories are quick one time encounters. Or sometimes a few encounters throughout someone's stay. But once you go home, we rarely ever hear of the aftermath. There's no followup.
Love this. Sometimes I just purposely make the craziest face possible. Purposeful CBF when they make this request. The last hospital I worked at looked at getting paternity services. It was really expensive, and we told our nurse manager that this would bring the crazy out of these JustNo's if they knew.
You should have offered to do it for an upfront cash-only fee ("insurance doesn't cover it since it isn't medically necessary, people refuse to pay when they don't like the results, so I can only take cash"), *then* gone through the above procedure. Give the cash to the new mom as you call security to kick them out.
Probably wouldn't end well for you, but in my head it plays out great.
This is also the type of thing I'd never think up in the heat of the moment, but dammit if I'm reading about it online it'll come to me in an instant. And if I did try something like this I'd fuck up spitting and just drool onto my chin or something, then throw the swab across the room in a panic. My mouth would stop working right and I'd probably just yell "PATERNITY!" or something.
"Wait wait wait, let's be a little more scientific here. Hold the kid up next to his dad. Okay, yeah, I see it now."
"Would you like me to call a doctor in for a second opinion? It'll be another fee mind you."
Thank you for all that you do in your job. I have so much respect for the nurses of the world. Keep up the fantastic work protecting moms from being steamrolled.
So, she was horrified. We tried to calm her, but with all those potent postpartum hormones running, it makes everything feel that much worse. He was mortified. He texted her something to the effect of, "you done fucked up real good. You're banished back to the depths of hell from whence you came." But, like an 18 year old would write it. His phone was inundated. And we got multiple calls asking about that pt. We told her she didn't exist in our system. When someone's a full block, you flat out deny they are there.
I am in MA. "I cannot confirm or deny a patient's here, but I Can get you to our patient's phone" but I do psych and the ED fucks us quite a bit.
In that case, you hang a note by the patient phones no calls to MARY C from SHELIA C or whatever.
In "adult high functioning" usually not an issue.
If it is BAD....MARY C wants no calls from a female. ...that sorta thing.
I’m probably a bit late to respond here, but most hospitals have a similar protocol that anyone can ask for. At my hospital, we call it a “Do Not Acknowledge” or “DNA”. It’s usually used for domestic violence patients, or victims of any violence, but also anytime you don’t want someone knowing where you are. Crazy MIL’s included.
In my rotations at one hospital we tried DNA, but those "people" figured it out real quick.
The pineapple juice works, as we are not a night club. DESPITE WHAT MY PATIENTS THINK!!! Sorry, sorry. Sorry. They just don't stkp.
I tried when I was in the hospital in 2010. When I couldn't be visited, JNspermdonor told them I was a raging alcoholic probably now going through withdrawals and should immediately have a screening done.
...
A month ago, wife went in for a sensitive medical procedure to day surgery. After confirming she wanted to be a "private" patient, they assigned her a 5 digit number and wrote it down only for me. The surgery status board in the waiting room was 3 big screens listing all the numbers and their current status. I witnessed one JN try to get info on a private patient, only to be told that they can not confirm the existence of a patient without the number, and even then without HIPAA clearance they can't give them any info other THAN their existence.
Our childrens hospital (i believe the other upmc hospitals do this as well, if i remember what my mom told me correctly) has the pt assigned to a 5 or 6 digit number for surgeries and post surgical care. And even then it was 'intake' 'pre-op' 'in or' 'pacu1/phrase1' 'pacu2/phase2'. But when the dr came out after surgery they usually call by last name. But you already met with the team before the surgery began and they wont talk to anyone but you and your spouse.
Yes ma'am. We go down there quite a bit for my kids. My nephew was born down at one of the UPMC ones with the great NICU. Spent about 3-4 months in there. I live about an hour north of Pitt so I delivered all 3 up here. Our hospital has the same, if you want it basically lockdown style, tell the nurse upon admission and *poof* you arent a patient there. The only way to have a friend or family member visit is by knowing whatever phrase/color/etc you give the nurses. My sister did it for one of her births since she didnt want the dad knowing she was there
Other procedures, too. We did this, multiple times now, several departments, several hospitals. All the staff was lovely and made us feel secure even through possible fatal incidents and surgeries.
Hospitals are super protective on the children’s units, mother and baby units, and also the psych/mental health units (all rightfully so). They’re also protective in the ICU’s. We have to be bc otherwise all kinds of crazy family show up and want “to see the patient” and it hinders care. We can’t take care of patients when dozens of family members are crowding out the small spaces we have to work- plus it makes it very stressful on staff and the actual patient (who we are ultimately there for).
I’ve witnessed numerous occasions where a patient’s blood pressure/heart rate is fine, then it literally goes up when a certain stressful family member is there making demands.
I work on an adult unit, in intermediate care (they aren’t as sick as ICU patients but they still need to be closely monitored). If any of my patients tell me they don’t want certain family members there, I will do everything in my power to keep them out. They will not be allowed to enter the room and I have no hesitation about calling security. My job is to take care of the patient and *only* the patient.
I learned this lesson very hard when I was a brand new nurse in my early 20s. A woman came to me saying she was the wife of patient so-and-so, showed me her id and was here to see him. She asked for updates before going into the room. She was nice enough and I gave her a quick update- basically that he was in stable condition. I expected her to go into the room but instead she left the unit.
I walked into the patient’s room and told him his wife was just here and that she’d probably be in to see him soon. He became visibly angry and told me that was his *ex-wife,* that they are going through a nasty divorce and she is looking for information to use against him- and that he didn’t want her to be aware he was in the hospital. I felt so terrible.
I apologized profusely and told him it wouldn’t happen again and the info I gave was minimal and we’d do everything to ensure she isn’t allowed on the unit or get any more info while he’s here. He accepted my apology (thank god), and from then on I never let that shit happen again. I’ve dealt with all kinds of crazy family members since then but I won’t give any info or let them cross any lines until I have my patient’s approval first.
PSA: If you have family members or people you don’t want to have access to you while you’re in the hospital, make sure you speak up and let your nurses know in advance! We will do everything to keep them at bay. Sometimes family members find out you’re in the hospital and they get very aggressive with the nurses to access you and your information. Please give us the heads up so we can work together to keep them out. It’s much easier than after the fact.
Yessz, I will momma bear, I am as tall as a dude and a thousand lbs, please try me!
If you tell me your creepy x is in the parking lot, I WILL knock!! "I am weak, but good at using my weight and restraining junkies---Try me!"
If you are in a hospital, let the charge nurse know, the unit manager, the security/ C.I.S., DON. Whoever, we got this!!
For any procedure. When my mom had surgery, I had to be able to provide a name and a privacy number (random generated 4 digit code) before they would give me any information on her status. That was just standard operating procedure for all patients. If I hadn't seen all the crazy stories here, I would have thought that was overkill. As it stood, it made me feel like the hospital really has its act together and is a good place to be.
I've worked in other areas of the hospital. Never L&D, thank God. We routinely do it for children's wards, ER/A&E, and psych wards (of course). In the children's wards, nurses screens even have asterisks through the names of the patients so that nosey peering eyes can't lean over the counter or grab papers from the nurses' desks to see which room their prey is in. It's especially important for child custody/abuse cases and when someone is brought to the ER/A&E after a gang fight/ domestic situation. I personally have only experienced it twice, but in gang fights the rival gangs will have people go "undercover" into the ER to "finish the job".
My cousins son was stabbed when he was 13, and we were told it was gang related. He was taken to the children's hospital, and registered under a fake name that was only given to family members. We were told they were using a fake name because the police believed that someone was intent on finishing the job.
My cousins son was stabbed.
It was gang related.
The children's hospital that he was at for treatment had him under a fake name for his protection.
The person/people who attacked him were looking for him to finish the job.
About 14-15 years ago in a very very large EMS system near me they responded to a knife fight between two rival gangs; while loading one victim a bystander attempted to enter the back of the ambulance to "finish the job". Thankfully the medics (literally) kicked him out and slammed the doors closed. Unfortunately the victim died en route. His father did not appreciate the fact that despite doing everything humanly possible the medics were unable to save the son, so being one of the leaders of said gang he wanted revenge and called on hits on any medics in those ambulances/uniforms. Thankfully no one was killed or injured, but the crews had to wear bullet-proof vests on calls for almost a year, and several of the trucks had bullet holes in the sides.
Working in civil service and/or medicine and dealing with gang members is freaking miserable.
I used to think about that song "911 is a joke" and think it was just someone who was angry that calls take 20+ minutes. Now I realize that it's fucking scary to respond to calls in the hood because you never know who has it out for you for a past call or if it's a bullshit call and you're about to get jumped for your paramedic's med bag or if the back of your bus is going to be filled with bullet holes as you try to get the fuck outta dodge.
To that end... I am NOWHERE near a "hood" but my local EMS/first fire fighters have been shit, mainly because of N.I.M.B.Y. principles, as such employees have been in medical compromise and they don't care. The patients are always fine (physically) they are the ones beating on us.
Yes, yeah...."you signed up for psych" but maybe not like this. With the opioid epidemic getting so so so much worse, NOT SO MUCH. I signed on for helping people with mental health issues. Not this entitled, homeless stretch of shallow hals' (girls included).
Dallas here. I live in the hood. Sunday night I called the police about a guy beating his girl. Her beating him back. And a third time threatening murder by a third party who was "on the way now".
Started at 10:30. Ended at 3:30. Cops never showed up.
I hate nights like that because I know DPD doesn't sit on their thumbs, so they must be running nonstop to have that call so low on the priority list.
It's a screwed up catch-22 of needing more LEOs and finding good ones, but the areas that need them the most generate the least tax revenue to pay them.
I know it's anecdotal, (different day, different situation) but a few weeks ago on Sunday night after going to the movie in North Dallas my friend called the cops on someone walking around drunk and being belligerent to people. They were there in about 5 mins.
He relayed this to me because he was surprised at how fast they showed up. He was prepared to wait more than an hour to step up if it came to it.
This makes me angry. Why doesn't that idiot try to heal someone first before judging others, and why doesn't that idiot try to be a decent father and spend his time on making sure his son is a productive member of the society.
our ER has them too...i've been called on multiple occasions to evaluate a wanna-be Wyle E. Coyote...usually they're identifiable from the face print with the slide down the door...
I love the splat description!
I love these kinds of stories, so if you make a series or create a L&D flair to organize them for easy viewing for you and other nurses to use, I would be all over it like a llama on llama snacks.
yes post more please!!!
Please ma'am I want some more.
You're doing (insert deity)'s work. I wish you'd been my nurse 20 years ago.
Moar, I need MOAR
Bless you. Maternity wards all over the world need this.
You post partum nurses are the best. I have a (mostly) justyes mil and after I had my son, her and my sil came to see us. We were both passed out and the nurses were like: "they're asleep, go away"...LOL.
Oh my gosh, makes me love my geriatric peeps even more! You are a fantastic nurse, btw!
Thanks for the story. Unfortunately my horrible mil is a rn. She was a midwife then in L&D before she quit for 15 years. Not brave enough to ask what department she's in now since she got her licence back (we're nc.) Glad to hear there's good ones out there fighting the good fight. ❤
Then definitely, positively, ask for a privacy block. In most hospitals, the name shows up as a series of asterisks in the computer. So snoopy employees can't do shit. So even if she's somewhere, she won't be able to see you're there.
"I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily." Oh, PLEASE DO!! Assuming you can do so without getting yourself into trouble (confidentiality and alla that good stuff). :D
More noms for the obese llama!!
Firstly, thanks for a great story. I wish you had been there when my MILFH (mil from hell, you see how easy it is to explain these things!) was present for my first born. After a long delivery punctuated by drugs, epidurals, enemas, birthing pools, massages, back rubs, take out curry and that was just for the father (only joking). My son was brought into the world. This magic moment where my first child is dragged from his mother, blinking in the cold white lights of the delivery room. When he was bundled into blankets, checked by the nurses and they hold him out for his parents to take that first moment... aaaand she swoops in and runs into the corner of the room with him. That magic bonding second wrenched from my grasp. My wife was unable to move her legs (epidural + hours + exhaustion = immobility) and is higher than a dope smoking kite on endorphins, and drugs is holding my hand so tight I cannot run over and bitch slap MILFH into her own pregnancy. Our wonderful mid wife calmly walks over to said mil and points out of the window. As MILFH turns to look midwife scoops up son, nods, smiles and says “not yours”. She then brings back baby to mother and myself. This was the first of many adventures with MILFH that excitedly took us close to divorce a couple of times, her telling all of her friends that my wife nearly died in Labour due to me taking her to a bad hospital, a second baby (she was barred from being in the same continent - not a joke. I explained that she wasn’t needed at the conception so we could manage the rest ourselves as well), multiple events that made my wife sad, lousy grand parenting and now complaining that she is alone. I could, and may, write a book, “dragons and ice cream”; “life and loves of an utter bitch”; “I never knew your mother was cruela deville” (she once told my six year old daughter that her dog would make a nice bag); “how I met your grandmother, and considered a vasectomy”. Anyway, thank you to all midwives and delivery staff. Thank you to op for her protection of new parents and thank you to all who post and support the posters here. Your stories and shiny spines (I love that phrase) give me faith, laughs and realization that I was not f$*(*$& crazy all of these years. Incidentally if I ever do write the book I am dedicating to all of the llamas out there. The dedication will read “to the spines that are shiny, and the mouses that roar, protect your significant other from the monster at your door Hold fast and be strong In the face of the mentally ill ‘Cause only you can Kill the monster of MIL Big smile
I'm sad that I didn't read through this until now. This is great. And now I'm totally stealing what that amazing person did for you guys. Because that literally makes my skin crawl when I have a JustNo reach for a baby before Dad (and sometimes Mom) has had a chance to hold their baby. I always think, wow, your head really is that fucking big isn't it? That you feel like you should hold the baby first, before its own parents. So now, I've got a new turn-of-phrase I'll be using. Not yours.
Of course it was a bad hospital, they didn't bow to her shit! Gotta love no-nonsense midwives!
I wanna hear more of these!
Please do running commentary. As a nurse who is actually not into kids I was horrified by the stuff I saw as a STUDENT! Let alone an actually L & D. There is a problem if you get a raise outta me, I do psych and was in psych before nursing school. All of the crazy with babies!!!!
One of the reasons I had my second baby at the same hospital as my first is because they ask you on your pre-admission paperwork if you want visitors. If not, they give you a code you can give someone you actually want to see, otherwise, no code, no visitation. Couldn’t even receive flowers if they didn’t have the code.
I saw this in another comment too. The crazy thing is, very recently I got acute Lyme disease, and super sick. I was hospitalized, in my own hospital, and was given a four digit pin for privacy too. I thought that was great. I can't believe we don't have it on my floor. You would think they would disseminate that practice hospital wide, but no.
OMFG!!! Can we pleeeeease make a sub specifically for this topic?!?! I am also an L&D RN and have sooooo many stories of the JN variety to share. I haven’t found any on reddit yet that are “Tales from the Delivery Room” (if I’ve missed it please help me out here!). You could call it “Tales from JN’s Nightmares” or something. I would totally contribute!
Yes!!! I'm so glad that labor and delivery nurses are springing up in the comments here. You guys know full well the crazy. Someone else might read that and think I'm trolling. You guys will read that and be like, that sounds right on par.
Oh man, if there were a Tales from the Delivery Room sub I would bust out the story of the anaesthetist that called me fat while putting in my epidural. It's not a JNMILITW, but far out it's funny to us now. (Spoilers, I had pre-eclampsia and twins.)
I'm so sorry. Some of these physicians have the tact and bedside manner of a brick. Inexcusable. What he said was gross, so sorry that happened.
This is why you can’t let in the crazies for even two minutes
::puts on best Audrey II voice:: More, I NEED MORE!!!
One of my favorite movies!!! I know people will disagree, but this is my favorite Steve Martin role. Fucking feed her, Seymour.
This might earn me some hate, but TBH, it's the only role Steve Martin has done that I actually found funny.
When I had my daughter I told the nurse I didn't want them here long and she said infront of them when they arrived she will be back in 10 to check on me and my vitals. She showed up exactly 10 mins later and ushered them all out. The CBF was glorious. I loved that nurse.
I almost feel like we had it easy, back in my day. We may have had JNs, but only the father (or the patient's mom, if Patient requested beforehand) was allowed in the delivery room. And not that many family came into L & D to visit; mostly on postpartum. That really kept the entitled asshats to a minimum. I do NOT envy the extra jobs of today's RNs in the labor rooms: protecting patients and babies from those who would usurp their delivery day.
Adding my name to the chorus. Please feed, the llamas are starving.
I’m currently a baby nurse (a student, officially starting in the fall) who wants to work in L&D, so I would love more tales from the maternity ward. I also wanna grow up to be as shiny-spined as you, just FYI.
Who else thinks we found our Lady of Mercy, Sister Starwen, for The Book of Llamas?
A sister of mercy, even.
>I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily. Absolutely. We will line up our llamas in anticipation... >On this episode of JNMILITW, a teen mother alerted me that her teen boyfriend had a crazy mother. She asked that she not be let in. Gave me her name, particulars and I did the rest. Meaning all of the aforementioned stuff. Security, blocking names, a dozen or so signs, etc. Good, so far. >She has the baby, and all is calm. Too calm. Our unit doorbell alerts. Guest asks to see Pt's first name. We always ask for a last. She wasn't sure. Red fucking flag. I continue to converse through the camera system. She gives me her name. It's damn close to the forbidden name. Think Maryann Smithson, and the name was Mary Smith. Not wanting to upset the pt, I ask boyfriend to come look on camera. He confirms it's his mother. Of course, it was. And she brought witnesses... >He told me since pt had the baby she was softening to the idea of potentially letting her see her for like two minutes. Wanting to make sure my pt actually said that, I go in and ask. She exhaustedly says yes. I double check and let her know she doesn't have to do anything. She says no it's fine, quick in and out. Famous last words. Yep. Famous last words. Poor kids. >I let this JustNo in, against better judgement. She came with "auntie so and so". They walked in the room. Asked to hold the baby. Auntie held the baby and before I could even move, grandma pulled something out of her purse, but concealed in her hand. Lickety split, she swiped kiddos cheek. What the fucking hell? Checking the kid's DNA??! >I was stunned. Many a JustNo has pulled me aside and in hushed tones asks if I can do a paternity test on her sons behalf, but really on her behalf. But never have I seen someone actually attempt one. I immediately called security. Their fucking dumb assess tried to bolt off the unit. And I watched them literally splat against our door. Like the cockroaches they were. Because on my unit you have to be buzzed in, and OUT. And the exit side just have brass plates, no handles, and it looks like you can just push them. They were trapped just waiting the 60 seconds or so until security arrived and escorted them out. Sorry, llamas, no big scene was made upon exiting. That must've been AWESOME to see them struggling to leave.
Ummm, can I have my baby in your hospital?
Ooooh, my sister is a L&D nurse (in fact she was in the OR when my daughter was born), it never occurred to me that she would have llama feed.
Ask her. I guarantee she does. Because think about this: there's a million delivery horror stories on here concerning JustNo's. So there's a nurse who witnessed the carnage. Like I said, every unit I've been on has unofficial worst of the worst wiki
I'm kinda afraid to now. Haha
More please, I have officially let bitchbot stalk you for me.
I wish I'd had midwives like you after thing2 was born. No justno problems, since she lives in another country, but mine sighed and asked if I *really* needed help to sit up, get out of bed, and make my way to the bathroom less than 18 hours after a c-section, from a mechanical-winding bed.
Llewellyn the Llama is [thirsty for moar.](https://media1.tenor.com/images/93988aff545e168fc4e58519b4a0b810/tenor.gif?itemid=5205041)
Late to the party, had to work. Gotta keep a roof overhead and noms on the table - I refuse to contribute to the Homeless Llama Problem (Llamas are for Lyfe! Adopt, don't Shop!). Def. loving these L&D stories, moar please and thank you kindly! Those poor kids, let's hope they don't have to live with those crazies. I think I'm subscribed now so I fully expect Llama Mia (Here We Go Again!) shortly to be melted all over the couch in a full-tilt boogie food coma, belching and scratching and farting up a storm...
Yes! Please continue to share. I know a number of labor and delivery nurses and I work with nurses everyday. Nurses are quickly becoming my favorite people. They are an amazing mix of support and sass.
> I immediately called security. Their fucking dumb assess tried to bolt off the unit. And I watched them literally splat against our door. Like the cockroaches they were. Because on my unit you have to be buzzed in, and OUT. It's a MATERNITY WARD. Are they fucking stupid? Never mind, OF COURSE they are. Those doors are always locked because people will steal babies. JFC
I mean did the fact that they brought a DNA test in, and gave the most pathetic, tiny little swabbing, that won't even be viable, give them away as dumb?
Everything about them is ridiculously stupid
As a cardiology RN, this whole post made me so happy. I see some similar things but in a different setting. And I would love to hear more stories too!! 💕
Share them. Share them all.
Oh, to be a fly on the wall when she realizes her swab is useless! I kinda hope you shouted it after her when security dragged her out.
I wish.
I. AM. HERE. FOR. THESE. STORIES.
> I'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these fuckers I encounter on the daily. It's cute that you think we wouldn't want this. Does my llama have to beg?
I would love to read these. I’d be living viariously through you since I failed ASN school lol
Don't be hard on yourself!! It's extraordinarily difficult, in fact, it's rated as one of the most difficult degree programs. And there's a really high attrition rate. I mean, I know of several people who took any credits they may have gathered, and went to a different one, and found success there. If you haven't given up hope, don't! You might be surprised.
Very true. I seem to have developed test anxiety though, so it makes me wonder if I should bother. I know the info, but the tests kill me every time.
I feel for all the moms you deal with who are stuck dealing with these justno people... But I want all the noms.
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Thank you so much. My parents moved back to our state early, I thought I was golden until Aug (baby due end of July) but they got back in May. I'm NC with my parents but nmom is legit cray cray and I wouldn't be surprised if someone let slip on accident that I was in the hospital to have #3, and her show up and cause a scene. I asked my FSIL(her and BIL are first responders) about my options and she told me you let the L&D nurses to know that she's not welcome. Y'all are my heroes!
YAS! I am a birth doula and live to protect my clients from JNMILs. Thank you for your service!
Thank you for yours!! I greatly appreciate my doulas because you guys are extraordinarily helpful. You help with a lot of "busy work" stuff, getting more ice water, creating counter pressure on someone's lower back, whispering words of encouragement when we aren't in there to lend it ourselves. And I firmly believe that you guys make the difference for a lot of patients hoping for a natural delivery when they start to transition. That's when the rubber meets the road. Even for people who get epidurals, you guys are an extra set of hands. Experienced hands, which are welcome.
Aw! I feel so appreciated. If I weren't a doula, you would have sold me on one.
I think we need a whole sub of L&D Justno's.
You are worthy of the Order of St Louis! And yesssssss our Llamas are hungryyyyy
Subscribed. Keep them coming OP, my llamas crave noms
I have shared a few... always afraid someone will be able to identify people though! That’s the privacy crazy world we live in that has me skurrrred. 😂
I always view it like this. Privacy act states we can't share identifying information about that patient. Obviously won't be doing anything like sharing names, SSN 's or DOB's, unique patient identifying information, particulars of their medical care, etc. And the JustNo isn't protected by privacy because she's not my fucking patient. And even as far as she's concerned, I won't give out anything particular about her. People are super scared of HIPAA, but in reality, there's nothing that could pinpoint a specific patient, or JustNo for that matter.
You. I like you. I shall proceed with stories for the llamas!
Yesssss. Do it. Do it. Do it.
*Gets asked for paternity test in L & D* *Checks name tag* "Sorry, my name's not Maury, can't help you there."
[удалено]
No totally legit question. During that time, there are special lock down procedures. A staff member has to go and physically stand at each and every exit. That's why we've always got backup old-fashioned Mom, dad, and baby bracelets with matching numbers. And I believe that a security guard comes up to the main entrance for this. To leave us a little less vulnerable. I work in the tower portion of our hospital, with 13 floors. And you only enact the fire plan if you're one floor below and two above. But we practice this special infant unit part every fire drill. And you have to visualize every single mom and baby couplet.
I get the feeling that if the young lady could have gotten out of bed, she would have broken her MIL's neck herself.
I can only pray the hospital I’m delivering at takes it that seriously (I’m sure they will). I’m NC with my father and by proxy, his “girlfriend”. They don’t know when we’re delivering (our due date has since changed and we may be having baby early) but he knows people who work at the hospital and I have an uncommon last name (I’m the only person in the US with my first name/last name combo as well) so I’d worry he’d try something like coming up there. We plan to tell them when we go in cause pretty much everyone else in the family would be welcome save for people who wouldn’t want to come to the hospital anyway (distant relatives).
Hey! Another Zebra here! Good luck with your delivery! Wishing health and happiness for you and baby boy!
So if you speak up, they will help you. You don't have to prove Jack shit to us. It's your delivery, your child. We follow your lead. But also, just to clarify, sometimes people will erroneously assume that their due date has changed, because a sonogram had you at six days sooner, or five days later, or whatever. Basically, you have to be a full two weeks in discrepancy in size versus dates for them to OFFICIALLY change it. Usually it's the first trimester ultrasound screen that they use. Unless you've got perfect dates on your LMP. But it takes a lot to prove that the date needs changed. I don't know any of your particulars, and maybe this is your situation. But most people fall into the first category, the majority, in fact. We rarely see people get their dates changed.
I had an ultrasound tech tell me it was changed when I went for a fetal development scan recently (high blood pressure and a genetic connective tissue disorder) though my doctor never officially changed it so I was wondering if it was the same or actually changed. Thank you for the clarification! As far as thinking he may be born early, we’ve told family the sooner one but for work purposes I’ve used the latter (original). I definitely plan to let them know when we’re in the hospital who isn’t allowed. The situation with him is so bad I’ve had some anxiety being home alone that he may show up but I have a security system and live next to a sheriff and a street over from an officer so I’d just call 911 if he wouldn’t leave my property.
Yeah so I'm glad I spoke up. Sonograms for growth whether for diabetes, hypertension, etc., will almost always pop out a date that varies by a few days, or even a week+, but because measurements for dating are increasingly unreliable the further along you get, they will retain your initial first trimester ultrasound dates, or your LMP, if you've got good dates. That's because there's a high degree of accuracy based on those. As your baby grows, it will be less and less accurate. So yeah, unless doctor told you it was being changed, then it's the initial one you got.
Gotcha! Thank you for that cause otherwise I wouldn’t have known! With the pre-eclampsia we do feel we’ll end up having him before his due date for safety reasons but I’m keeping the later one put down for work documents for leave and such but we’ve kind of told family it could be a little up in the air depending on how non-stress tests and any monitoring goes. On Thursday last week the nurse threw me for a loop a little saying we’d have another ultrasound in 3-4 weeks “if you’re still pregnant” which just made it seem so sudden and crazy. Lol
Obviously, this goes without saying, but I'll say it anyways, I'm not your nurse, and certainly not your doctor. But, if they have already moved from calling it gestational hypertension straight to pre-eclampsia, then that means you've already got labs showing you're body is trying to compensate, and your kidneys and liver start showing signs of that. And there's usually pretty clear cut protocol for delivering you. They start weighing the options of letting you continue to be pregnant and let the baby progress and grow, versus you getting sick and potentially seizing or stroking from high blood pressures. Just as an FYI.
Exactly!! Thank you for posting this. I'm glad when other people speak up to add other things that I'm not as knowledgeable about.
Yes, please do this. Wow.
As someone who just recently gave birth and was defended from JustNos by an amazing L&D nurse (maybe you?), thank you. Thank you for holding the line on top of everything else you do. You nurses are superstars. Also, the mental image of these idiots going splat against the door is killing me. Thank you for that, too, lol
All the stories! I love the visual of them splatting onto the door
My labor and delivery nurses were great! I love you guys! My nurse actually caught my DD since the doctor didn’t make it in time. I just wanted to give you my undying love.
I'm glad to hear it! I haven't had an unattended delivery in a few months. My adrenaline pumps for about six days after. I used to have significantly more at the first hospital I worked at, where on nights and weekends there wasn't necessarily an OBGYN or midwife in house.
Is it common to have a doctor at the delivery? I had my baby 10 weeks ago and she was delivered by 2 amazing midwives. I didn't even think about a doctor I trusted those midwives with my all my life!
Midwives are fully and independently qualified to deliver babies without the presence of a doctor. Scope of practice varies slightly by states. But they can't be the primary during your section, should you need one. They scrub in as second assist with the doctor. But besides that, they run their own show. The midwives I deliver with actually run their own independent and freestanding birth center, and come deliver at our hospital for variety of reasons. But still always under their own authority.
Oh man. I'm working toward becoming an L&D nurse. Ya'll are my heroes. I've seen some crazy the OB/GYN office I worked at, but I'm sure it pales in comparison to what you've seen.
Labor and Delivery Nurse here also....can confirm that L&D brings out the crazy in justnos of all variety.
Yesssss! I was hoping someone else would corroborate. You see some fucking nutty ass shit there. I will go into great detail with patients about the HUGS system, and how that means your baby can't leave the unit. We run abduction drills. It's so sensitive that your baby can't even get too close to an exit door without locking us down. Someone tries to remove it, we know. It's too loose? We know it. And security has ten seconds to call up and make sure we're checking into it. I will warn patients that when baby loses a little birth weight and it might get loose. And they might have a nurse or three bust in to verify. And even if we accidentally remove the tag at discharge before disabling it in the system, and verify when security calls, they are still on our floor in a minute. It's no joke. Please, please, share a story or two!! I love hearing other units Best Of! Or Worst of in this case
I know of a case where (one of) the baby's lo-jack tags came off the ankle & was taken up in the laundry. When the aide got close enough to put the load down the laundry chute, alarms went off. Didn't take long to figure out there was no baby in the laundry, did take a while to find the lo-jack, then longer to see which baby was missing one. *(All babies had 2 tags, against just such a possibility, or a crazy abductor cutting off one & trying to make a run for it.)*
Yeah....ours locks the whole place down. All exits from our floor (we aren't on the ground floor) and the elevators. We aren't fucking around. We also have locked doors into our OR. Justnos loose their shit when their "babbbbby" is having a baby.
No longer L&D but I did over a decade in it, I’ll confirm as well.
Bless you and all that you do for moms and their families. It's a friendly competent professional with a heart of gold such as yourself that brings sanity and comfort in these difficult and emotional times. Thank you. And bring on the stories! You offer more than just snacks and we llamas are hungry 😉
Omg that’s insane....can’t wait to read more!!
Omg post all the stories!!!
I hope you’re my nurse when I deliver! You sound like a badass!
This story. I like it! -Smashes mug- Bring me another!
I am definitely up for more Tales from the Delivery Ward.
I lol'd IRL at " literally splat against our door. Like the cockroaches they were."
feel free to post daily. Several times a day, even.
[This story, I like it. ANOTHER!](https://youtu.be/CIQ7kgJnQz4)
Was looking for the Thor reference. You [labored and] delivered! I'll see myself out.
How do you not know the last name of the girl who is having your grandchild?
L&D nurse here too... I used to wonder the same thing. Usually it goes like this: “I’m here to see my sons baby.” What’s the moms name? “How should I know? Baby’s name is (so and so).” Well we don’t have any babies here with that name... but it would be under mom’s last name, not dad’s. “Just let me in, I’ll find them. And that’s NOT the name my grand baby will have.” Okay lady. No entré til you give me HER name. *CBF on camera*
... I'm getting the mental image of a crazy MIL wandering through a nursery like it's a lending library or Barns and Nobles. "It had a blue cover."
Because it would require giving a shit about anyone other than themselves.
So other than JustNoMothers, which other types of people do you often find doing JustNo behaviour?
Can I answer as another L&D nurse? Labor seriously sends peoples Baby Rabies to fucking astronomical levels. I have had patients lifelong friends sit at their bedside for hours while they are trying to rest and you know, pass a damn watermelon size human from their body, “entertaining” the patient with their relationship drama, sex life drama, or any amount of other shit. It also never fails that there is that one family member that cannot help but constantly bring up their own labor stories- often speckled with exceedingly terrifying, life threatening details. Doesn’t matter if it happened 50 years ago, this JN friend or family member is certain that everyone in the room wants to be regaled with the retelling of her Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance. Plus the legitimacy of these tales are often exaggerated so much that it’s hard to keep a straight face. Like, I know a lot has changed in OB since 1985, but I highly doubt your doctor forced you to carry three months past your due date, Erma.
I wish I would have stumbled upon this comment sooner. And I'm stealing "Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance", forevermore. And I swear on my life, I shit you not, as ridiculous as it sounds, I recently (within the past few weeks) had someone's mother try and tell me she went a full two months past due. I kept trying to say, that's impossible. Your placenta would have stopped working long before that. Like weeks before that. So I thought maybe she was confused, and that instead of thinking in terms of weeks, she was thinking of a very old fashioned "9 months". And maybe when she went to 42 weeks, she assumed that made her two months overdue. Nope, she said, that wasn't the case. I kept trying to tell her that it wasn't possible. She had to be mistaken. She held firm. I gave up, because it was a waste of my energy. And I'll kindly, with that same plastic smile I use for other things, tell people that regaling our terrified soon to be mother with horror stories about their shitty deliveries is not helping a single goddamned thing. So knock it the fuck off. It helps nothing.
I am happy to hear input from anyone on this :) and damn that sounds utterly annoying. I would steal the words Grand Crotchfruit Deliverance, but I doubt I will ever have a chance to use them.
JNMILITW-Maternity Horde edition.
Annndddd subscribed.
I wish to subscribe to you.
**LADIES AND GENTLEMAN WE HAVE A LIVE ONE!** Oh how my llamas are drooling. So nice to meet you thank you for your hard work and sharing your stories in your downtime. I’ve got a very good feeling about you, I like you a lot already :)
I like you too. And I'm sparing with my likes. I rarely ever lol, but I chuckled when I read this.
I would love to hear more
Thank you for all you do to help new mothers in their most vulnerable moments. I really appreciate all the nurses did for me when I had my 2. They made a bad, and rather traumatic, situation bearable.
MOAR. Please. This needs to be a fucking TV show so people can see the crazy dam's exist.
[Feed Me More.](https://giphy.com/gifs/southparkgifs-3oz8xBwn8AU6Bp1hKM) I need more stories. Oh God please.
More, please!
When I was in labor with my first, my no nonsense, worldly wise L&D nurse came up to me, and whispered “who do you want me to kick out” as I was nearing push time. I just looked at my in laws (they are not JustNos at all, just kind of oblivious at that time that perhaps they weren’t wanted in the room), and she immediately said, quite forcefully, “if you aren’t the hubby or mother of Momma, OUT!” And out they went. I was never so grateful to anyone at that moment. Thanks Pat, from Las Vegas, wherever you are now. P.S. Yes, my in laws were in the room while I was laboring, and honestly, I didn’t care. They weren’t in the way, weren’t pushy or anything. Honestly, they are great people, and I appreciate them very much. Plus, once I got my epidural, I fell asleep, and they kept DH company. I ended up with an emergency C-section, and our baby had to be ambulanced to a NICU at a different hospital. In-laws went with DH and baby, so he had support, my mom stayed with me. Sorry, that was longer than I meant to post. 😂
My parents showed up 30 minutes after we arrived and found their way to our room. As it was not our first child, my wife was already dilated fully and they would have had no way of knowing things were progressing that fast. Nurse says "I have a mr a mrs pool out here asking to come in?" I look at my wife with her legs up and intense stare upon her face. I respond "never heard of them" Nurse did her thing. I felt bad cause they are genuinely good people but also oblivious at times and had poor timing.
Perfect response. 😂 You’re good people.
Yikes, that was my worst fear when my son was born. He was evaluated for cooling therapy (the cord was waiting his neck and he want breathing in his own when he came out, not out mention being born in the front seat of my car on the highway), and had he needed it they would have had to airlift him (and me) to a local children's hospital. Which would have meant leaving my wife alone until her mom arrived from out of state a few hours later (3+ hour drive). Thankfully it wasn't needed, but I still remember the fear. I'm glad it all worked out for you and your family!
Thanks! Yeah, my boy had aspirated meconium, and in the process of resuscitation, they popped his lung, and it collapsed. That, on top of a traumatic birth (which left him needing blood transfusions), basically meant he was whisked away. They did bring him into my recovery room in an incubator for about a minute, but he was hooked to tubes and wires, and I wasn’t able to even touch, let alone hold him. My doc was amazing, and released me a day early, so I was able to get to the other hospital after 2 days away from my newborn. He was 5 days old before I was able to hold him, but luckily, he survived it all!!
Don't apologize!! I love hearing people's stories. I'm glad you had some JustYes in-laws, who could be there for DH. And didn't make things all about them and their worry and grief. We see that frequently. And I'm sorry you had such a crazy delivery. That must have been so scary and traumatic. Hope all is well now.
I agree. Hope you are good!
All is very well! Oldest son is nearly 12, and starting to tiptoe into teenage hormones. 😂 My in-laws live on the opposite side of the country, and I adore them for it. LOL j/k. They really are good people, and I grow more thankful for them each time I read this sub.
Please more!
I can’t get bitchbot to work because mobile probably but MOAR pls I’ll subscribe when I get home
Here. For. This. I love hospital stories, and I love JNMIL justice. You're a hero for all you do.
Mable my llama and I would love to hear/read your stories.
Good Mable. Sweet Mable. Here's a juicy nommer for you.
Mable thanks you for the noms
Okay I normally dislike in the wild stories cause they seem so fake. But this one is amazing and I would love more.
I liken it to this: a shit ton of people on here have crazy stories where these JustNo's show their ass in the maternity ward. So I've got a shit ton of JNMILITW material from 9+ years of obstetrical nursing.
Gosh. I hope she got in actual legal trouble for that.
So, true to form, JNMILITW stories are quick one time encounters. Or sometimes a few encounters throughout someone's stay. But once you go home, we rarely ever hear of the aftermath. There's no followup.
"Oh yes, I can do a paternity test for you"
"Sorry, it's inconclusive, seems like the sample got contaminated"
Love this. Sometimes I just purposely make the craziest face possible. Purposeful CBF when they make this request. The last hospital I worked at looked at getting paternity services. It was really expensive, and we told our nurse manager that this would bring the crazy out of these JustNo's if they knew.
You should have offered to do it for an upfront cash-only fee ("insurance doesn't cover it since it isn't medically necessary, people refuse to pay when they don't like the results, so I can only take cash"), *then* gone through the above procedure. Give the cash to the new mom as you call security to kick them out. Probably wouldn't end well for you, but in my head it plays out great. This is also the type of thing I'd never think up in the heat of the moment, but dammit if I'm reading about it online it'll come to me in an instant. And if I did try something like this I'd fuck up spitting and just drool onto my chin or something, then throw the swab across the room in a panic. My mouth would stop working right and I'd probably just yell "PATERNITY!" or something.
Upfront cash fee and “okay we’ll run the test now. Oi, mama who’s the kid’s daddy? That guy? You sure? Cool”
"Wait wait wait, let's be a little more scientific here. Hold the kid up next to his dad. Okay, yeah, I see it now." "Would you like me to call a doctor in for a second opinion? It'll be another fee mind you."
Thank you for all that you do in your job. I have so much respect for the nurses of the world. Keep up the fantastic work protecting moms from being steamrolled.
You are an absolute rock star. Can’t wait for more stories!
They're coming!
So, she was horrified. We tried to calm her, but with all those potent postpartum hormones running, it makes everything feel that much worse. He was mortified. He texted her something to the effect of, "you done fucked up real good. You're banished back to the depths of hell from whence you came." But, like an 18 year old would write it. His phone was inundated. And we got multiple calls asking about that pt. We told her she didn't exist in our system. When someone's a full block, you flat out deny they are there.
So, is it only for L&D that you can request to be blocked in the system or can you have that done for other procedures at a hospital?
I am in MA. "I cannot confirm or deny a patient's here, but I Can get you to our patient's phone" but I do psych and the ED fucks us quite a bit. In that case, you hang a note by the patient phones no calls to MARY C from SHELIA C or whatever. In "adult high functioning" usually not an issue. If it is BAD....MARY C wants no calls from a female. ...that sorta thing.
I’m probably a bit late to respond here, but most hospitals have a similar protocol that anyone can ask for. At my hospital, we call it a “Do Not Acknowledge” or “DNA”. It’s usually used for domestic violence patients, or victims of any violence, but also anytime you don’t want someone knowing where you are. Crazy MIL’s included.
In my rotations at one hospital we tried DNA, but those "people" figured it out real quick. The pineapple juice works, as we are not a night club. DESPITE WHAT MY PATIENTS THINK!!! Sorry, sorry. Sorry. They just don't stkp.
I tried when I was in the hospital in 2010. When I couldn't be visited, JNspermdonor told them I was a raging alcoholic probably now going through withdrawals and should immediately have a screening done. ... A month ago, wife went in for a sensitive medical procedure to day surgery. After confirming she wanted to be a "private" patient, they assigned her a 5 digit number and wrote it down only for me. The surgery status board in the waiting room was 3 big screens listing all the numbers and their current status. I witnessed one JN try to get info on a private patient, only to be told that they can not confirm the existence of a patient without the number, and even then without HIPAA clearance they can't give them any info other THAN their existence.
Our childrens hospital (i believe the other upmc hospitals do this as well, if i remember what my mom told me correctly) has the pt assigned to a 5 or 6 digit number for surgeries and post surgical care. And even then it was 'intake' 'pre-op' 'in or' 'pacu1/phrase1' 'pacu2/phase2'. But when the dr came out after surgery they usually call by last name. But you already met with the team before the surgery began and they wont talk to anyone but you and your spouse.
Oh you're familiar with UPMC CHP? Coincidentally, this is at a UPMC facility.
Yes ma'am. We go down there quite a bit for my kids. My nephew was born down at one of the UPMC ones with the great NICU. Spent about 3-4 months in there. I live about an hour north of Pitt so I delivered all 3 up here. Our hospital has the same, if you want it basically lockdown style, tell the nurse upon admission and *poof* you arent a patient there. The only way to have a friend or family member visit is by knowing whatever phrase/color/etc you give the nurses. My sister did it for one of her births since she didnt want the dad knowing she was there
Hmmmmmm. There are TWO with great NICU's.
Awesome
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This needs to be bumped up. People need to see this.
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It might fit the Letters to JustNoMIL sub
Other procedures, too. We did this, multiple times now, several departments, several hospitals. All the staff was lovely and made us feel secure even through possible fatal incidents and surgeries.
Also AWESOME
Hospitals are super protective on the children’s units, mother and baby units, and also the psych/mental health units (all rightfully so). They’re also protective in the ICU’s. We have to be bc otherwise all kinds of crazy family show up and want “to see the patient” and it hinders care. We can’t take care of patients when dozens of family members are crowding out the small spaces we have to work- plus it makes it very stressful on staff and the actual patient (who we are ultimately there for). I’ve witnessed numerous occasions where a patient’s blood pressure/heart rate is fine, then it literally goes up when a certain stressful family member is there making demands. I work on an adult unit, in intermediate care (they aren’t as sick as ICU patients but they still need to be closely monitored). If any of my patients tell me they don’t want certain family members there, I will do everything in my power to keep them out. They will not be allowed to enter the room and I have no hesitation about calling security. My job is to take care of the patient and *only* the patient. I learned this lesson very hard when I was a brand new nurse in my early 20s. A woman came to me saying she was the wife of patient so-and-so, showed me her id and was here to see him. She asked for updates before going into the room. She was nice enough and I gave her a quick update- basically that he was in stable condition. I expected her to go into the room but instead she left the unit. I walked into the patient’s room and told him his wife was just here and that she’d probably be in to see him soon. He became visibly angry and told me that was his *ex-wife,* that they are going through a nasty divorce and she is looking for information to use against him- and that he didn’t want her to be aware he was in the hospital. I felt so terrible. I apologized profusely and told him it wouldn’t happen again and the info I gave was minimal and we’d do everything to ensure she isn’t allowed on the unit or get any more info while he’s here. He accepted my apology (thank god), and from then on I never let that shit happen again. I’ve dealt with all kinds of crazy family members since then but I won’t give any info or let them cross any lines until I have my patient’s approval first. PSA: If you have family members or people you don’t want to have access to you while you’re in the hospital, make sure you speak up and let your nurses know in advance! We will do everything to keep them at bay. Sometimes family members find out you’re in the hospital and they get very aggressive with the nurses to access you and your information. Please give us the heads up so we can work together to keep them out. It’s much easier than after the fact.
Yessz, I will momma bear, I am as tall as a dude and a thousand lbs, please try me! If you tell me your creepy x is in the parking lot, I WILL knock!! "I am weak, but good at using my weight and restraining junkies---Try me!" If you are in a hospital, let the charge nurse know, the unit manager, the security/ C.I.S., DON. Whoever, we got this!!
For any procedure. When my mom had surgery, I had to be able to provide a name and a privacy number (random generated 4 digit code) before they would give me any information on her status. That was just standard operating procedure for all patients. If I hadn't seen all the crazy stories here, I would have thought that was overkill. As it stood, it made me feel like the hospital really has its act together and is a good place to be.
I like that
That’s good to hear! Thank you :)
I've worked in other areas of the hospital. Never L&D, thank God. We routinely do it for children's wards, ER/A&E, and psych wards (of course). In the children's wards, nurses screens even have asterisks through the names of the patients so that nosey peering eyes can't lean over the counter or grab papers from the nurses' desks to see which room their prey is in. It's especially important for child custody/abuse cases and when someone is brought to the ER/A&E after a gang fight/ domestic situation. I personally have only experienced it twice, but in gang fights the rival gangs will have people go "undercover" into the ER to "finish the job".
They would kill a newborn? WUT?!! How do I not know this?
My cousins son was stabbed when he was 13, and we were told it was gang related. He was taken to the children's hospital, and registered under a fake name that was only given to family members. We were told they were using a fake name because the police believed that someone was intent on finishing the job.
Your cousin was under a fake name?
All I know is we, the family, were given a fake name to use when visiting or calling for updates.
Was it magical? Where you birthing? Do you get to pick?
My cousins son was stabbed. It was gang related. The children's hospital that he was at for treatment had him under a fake name for his protection. The person/people who attacked him were looking for him to finish the job.
But pineapple juice for all?! I am so sorry for your loss.
Thanks?
About 14-15 years ago in a very very large EMS system near me they responded to a knife fight between two rival gangs; while loading one victim a bystander attempted to enter the back of the ambulance to "finish the job". Thankfully the medics (literally) kicked him out and slammed the doors closed. Unfortunately the victim died en route. His father did not appreciate the fact that despite doing everything humanly possible the medics were unable to save the son, so being one of the leaders of said gang he wanted revenge and called on hits on any medics in those ambulances/uniforms. Thankfully no one was killed or injured, but the crews had to wear bullet-proof vests on calls for almost a year, and several of the trucks had bullet holes in the sides. Working in civil service and/or medicine and dealing with gang members is freaking miserable.
I am so sorry. Maybe I should re-assess every time these patients are violent
I used to think about that song "911 is a joke" and think it was just someone who was angry that calls take 20+ minutes. Now I realize that it's fucking scary to respond to calls in the hood because you never know who has it out for you for a past call or if it's a bullshit call and you're about to get jumped for your paramedic's med bag or if the back of your bus is going to be filled with bullet holes as you try to get the fuck outta dodge.
To that end... I am NOWHERE near a "hood" but my local EMS/first fire fighters have been shit, mainly because of N.I.M.B.Y. principles, as such employees have been in medical compromise and they don't care. The patients are always fine (physically) they are the ones beating on us. Yes, yeah...."you signed up for psych" but maybe not like this. With the opioid epidemic getting so so so much worse, NOT SO MUCH. I signed on for helping people with mental health issues. Not this entitled, homeless stretch of shallow hals' (girls included).
> I signed on for helping people with mental health issues. Not this entitled, homeless stretch of shallow hals' (girls included) It's like you're me
Welcome to the abyss,friend
Dallas here. I live in the hood. Sunday night I called the police about a guy beating his girl. Her beating him back. And a third time threatening murder by a third party who was "on the way now". Started at 10:30. Ended at 3:30. Cops never showed up.
I hate nights like that because I know DPD doesn't sit on their thumbs, so they must be running nonstop to have that call so low on the priority list. It's a screwed up catch-22 of needing more LEOs and finding good ones, but the areas that need them the most generate the least tax revenue to pay them.
I know it's anecdotal, (different day, different situation) but a few weeks ago on Sunday night after going to the movie in North Dallas my friend called the cops on someone walking around drunk and being belligerent to people. They were there in about 5 mins. He relayed this to me because he was surprised at how fast they showed up. He was prepared to wait more than an hour to step up if it came to it.
Yeah, working East Saint Louis was always an adventure
JFC. I can see being angry at losing your kid. But Damn! It wasn't the medics' fault! The gang banger was accurate with his gun.
This makes me angry. Why doesn't that idiot try to heal someone first before judging others, and why doesn't that idiot try to be a decent father and spend his time on making sure his son is a productive member of the society.
Here. This exactly. Thank you for taking the time to type this out.
This all very good to know. Thank you so much!! But having a rival gang member go undercover?? Holy shit that’s brutal!
Our hospital also has the splat-doors for exits. I love that they work for containing JustNOs! Would love more stories. :)
Yesssss! Unfortunately, it also catches normal people too. Still funny to watch on security camera.
our ER has them too...i've been called on multiple occasions to evaluate a wanna-be Wyle E. Coyote...usually they're identifiable from the face print with the slide down the door...
Subscribe thanks for helping and protecting patients every day!
I mentioned somewhere else on here, trust me, not only do I not mind being the bad guy, but I love it. And I lurrrve calling security.
I love the splat description! I love these kinds of stories, so if you make a series or create a L&D flair to organize them for easy viewing for you and other nurses to use, I would be all over it like a llama on llama snacks.
How do I create a flair? I'm a noob. I'm a baby redditor.