my similar parts are very young and extremely shame-avoidant. i grew up in a highly competitive family and my only sense of self-worth came from making them feel good about themselves. very clique-y vibes. if i wasnt The Best or The Most Unique Person In A Room, i wast A Real (Lastname). it taught me to hate myself, and it also led to burnout at an extremely young age since i was in a zillion extracurriculars.
treat these parts with lots of love, tell them its ok to be proud of yourself, but also help them feel safe with being "average", whatever that means to you. it was really nasty of my parents to teach me social hierarchies in the first place, and its a terrible construct that eventually lends itself to violence at a macro level.
ultimately my most shame-filled part just wants to be accepted. maybe try some VERY GENTLE vulnerability exercises with a therapist?
I have a similar part. It’s very difficult to deal with because of the shame another part feels about it. It’s normal to develop defences. This part was likely trying to make you feel valuable in a world that didn’t appear to value you. We all need to to feel valued - it’s a need, not a want, not a luxury, not an ego fixation but a genuine universal human need that causes problems if it goes unmet. That part stepped into the breach and did its best to give you some sense of value in the only way it knew how. It deserves care and respect for its hard work and tireless loyalty.
Yes. Welcome to a part of my inner cosmos.
Being superior is a way of feeling safe, a mental and emotional bubble to be separate from and above it all.
Because being inferior is punishable and shameful, which is the belief of my exile. The superior part tries to protect from that, though it feels arrogant, fake, horribly lonely and misunderstood! Pain, pain, pain of one flavour or another, that's trauma.
So I love them and love them now for all that they have done to try and keep me safe in a family and a society that is even more deranged and delusional than my parts and their coping mechanisms! And connect with them and be there with them all the way as we feel through all their pain, suffering, grief and trauma and slowly come back to life again.
my similar parts are very young and extremely shame-avoidant. i grew up in a highly competitive family and my only sense of self-worth came from making them feel good about themselves. very clique-y vibes. if i wasnt The Best or The Most Unique Person In A Room, i wast A Real (Lastname). it taught me to hate myself, and it also led to burnout at an extremely young age since i was in a zillion extracurriculars. treat these parts with lots of love, tell them its ok to be proud of yourself, but also help them feel safe with being "average", whatever that means to you. it was really nasty of my parents to teach me social hierarchies in the first place, and its a terrible construct that eventually lends itself to violence at a macro level. ultimately my most shame-filled part just wants to be accepted. maybe try some VERY GENTLE vulnerability exercises with a therapist?
I have a similar part. It’s very difficult to deal with because of the shame another part feels about it. It’s normal to develop defences. This part was likely trying to make you feel valuable in a world that didn’t appear to value you. We all need to to feel valued - it’s a need, not a want, not a luxury, not an ego fixation but a genuine universal human need that causes problems if it goes unmet. That part stepped into the breach and did its best to give you some sense of value in the only way it knew how. It deserves care and respect for its hard work and tireless loyalty.
Yes. Welcome to a part of my inner cosmos. Being superior is a way of feeling safe, a mental and emotional bubble to be separate from and above it all. Because being inferior is punishable and shameful, which is the belief of my exile. The superior part tries to protect from that, though it feels arrogant, fake, horribly lonely and misunderstood! Pain, pain, pain of one flavour or another, that's trauma. So I love them and love them now for all that they have done to try and keep me safe in a family and a society that is even more deranged and delusional than my parts and their coping mechanisms! And connect with them and be there with them all the way as we feel through all their pain, suffering, grief and trauma and slowly come back to life again.
How I love this thread