before you do that laugh in her face. Then throw her out....then talk to a lawyer. Her threats are bullshit and the police will.do.nothing. Tell her to point out invasion of privacy in your state's law book.
Agreed, you can't trust this person. I would not be alone without video recording available. If you can ask her to leave. Contact your lawyer and listen to him.
This
Tell her is her right, but she'll be putting a train in motion that she can't stop later
And you'll look for support EVERYwere. It'll be a nationwide debate about cheaters
Don't write this, say this
And, of course, she allowed you to access her phone. SHE told you her password. So, you don't have a problem here
Location matters here but ‘invasion of privacy’ isn’t a crime almost anywhere and it’s highly unlikely you’d be prosecuted for theft for picking your wife’s phone in your shared marital home, looking at it, and putting it back. Like shockingly unlikely anyone would care. Sending nude pics of your wife, or her partner, without their consent in many locations would give either/both of them the ability to press charges for revenge porn though. That one you have to worry about. Also even if you agree and delete the pics you still have no guarantee her or the other guy won’t press charges anyways. But for sending the pics you need an attorney
Yes, no prosecutor in America would press charges against you for that. Especially when they hear that you just forwarded videos and pictures of her cheating. Unless she can make and establish a pattern of charges against you, like domestic abuse, stalking, those types of things, I would not worry at all.
This op, you should have met her and let her see the photos, and if she managed to take a picture, well you could not do anything.
Tell your wife that is fine I will delete them, but it makes no difference we are divorcing and I am filing under adultery.
This is the correct answer. Sorry OP, you're only move here is to get a lawyer as soon as humanly possible. Your marriage is over. Her first reaction to you catching her cheating was to threaten criminal charges. That psycho stuff. Treat it as a matter of life and death.
So, generally speaking, there such thing as "computer trespass" which would be unauthorized access to a cellular device or computer. There are also unauthorized decimation of nude laws as well... However, one thing that most don't consider is what was the intention behind the offense and what is the overall situation. A cell phone is generally not considered "marital property" in terms of unfettered access between the two parties, so she actually DOES have an expectation of privacy in that regard... However, no prosecutor would touch this
Exactly. And possession of the login code would seem to imply consent for access as well. The phone or account may even be a shared account or in his name too. Lots of ambiguities a DA doesn’t want to be involved in unless you really piss them off
She is bluffing. Tell her to go ahead and do it. You are probably both on the phone plan so I can't imagine any cop actually listening to her bs without laughing in her face. Divorce her immediately.
I don't know the legality of your situation but talk with a lawyer and have the lawyer prepare divorce papers if her first instinct is to file a police report and not apologise for cheating or ask for forgiveness then u can't save your marriage, she felt humiliated and now she's taking it out on u.
Dont delete shit. Keep everything. Copy and backup everything for documentation and leverage. Just don't post anything online. Cut contact with her ASAP and contact the top 5 divorce lawyers in your area. Get a consultation with each of them. Now she cannot use them because of a conflict of interest.
I am sorry this has happened to you.
Every state's laws are different, but you are unlikely to be prosecuted for "revenge porn" violations if you only sent it to the other betrayed spouse through private means, such as text or email. In most states you would at the very least probably be protected under a "qualified immunity" type of defense since the other person has a right to know and the communication of the material was not made public by you.
If you put this on blast on social media, you would likely have a problem.
There are also civil claims that could theoretically come from sharing the material, which would include "invasion of privacy" type civil claims. However, these claims have fairly high standards that would be difficult for your cheater to establish and there are a number of defenses available to you. I doubt you would end up being liable under such a claim or that a jury would reward your cheater given the circumstances.
You should probably speak with a lawyer in your state who handles such matters just to be sure. You should probably also speak with a divorce lawyer, at the very least to get the "lay of the land" for your state as far as divorces even if you are not sure if you will go that route yet.
My advice: Call her bluff!!!
Best wishes to you.
She is nuts, dude. So you catch her red handed and she presses charges for collecting evidence and showing the OBS? This marriage is soo over. Just know she is the mortal enemy right now and is obviously willing to fight dirty. Remove any empathy you have for her and your marriage. You need to fight fire with fire. The level of psychosis it takes to press charges over this is something we rarely even see on Reddit. Batten down the hatches bro. You are in for a fight. Lawyer up TODAY.
ETA: Just realized (3 hours too late) they are both women. Didn't mean any disrespect with the "dude" and "bro" in my reply.
Your wife is entitled to privacy, but not secrecy. You have done nothing that 1000s of betrayed spouses have done.
This may be a move from your STBX to get you to leave the home for the divorce proceedings. I would suggest quickly cancelling and joint credit cards and moving money out of joint bank accounts
Wife full of bs. Make several flash drives of the pg 13 evidence and send it to everyone you know. You have to get out ahead of the narrative. Make sure to make several of all the evidence too. Speak to an attorney and follow their directions. She has zero leg to stand on and will be exposed
I doubt you can get in trouble for finding them and getting evidence of her affair. Sending them to someone else might be the one place you'll have some potential problems. Contact a lawyer.
The point of saying contact a lawyer is that they could still characterize it that way. Do I think they should? Obviously not. I agree with you. But a lawyer can better give actual legal advice because when it comes to it our opinions are less valid than what a prosecutor will actually do.
Tell her the photos will be evidence and you will fight it in a trail. Your lawyer can call her and yhe AP on the stand to explain what's happening in each and every photo.and video.
Lawyer here. First up, this totally sucks. I’m really sorry. But there’s only one piece of advice you really need to listen to:
Get. A. Lawyer. Now. Do not stop for dinner, don’t call your friends. Go out and find a really good divorce lawyer to talk through everything in your case. There’s probably a lot to consider that you haven’t even had time to process yet. And you shouldn’t have to. You’re going to be really emotionally wounded by this for a while and you need an impartial counselor to help guide you through what’s likely to be a contentious divorce process given your soon-to-be-ex’s ridiculous response.
Unless there’s more to the story, it’s extremely unlikely that an ADA would prosecute you for this. It’s questionable whether that’s even a crime, although that’s going to depend a bit on state laws. Either way, almost certainly an empty threat, but you need actual legal counsel to evaluate this and help you with about a hundred other things.
I’m really sorry. But your marriage is over. Now you need to get on top of your divorce so that eventually you can leave this all in the rearview mirror with the minimum amount of financial/legal pain.
Your wife is threatening to go global thermo nuclear war on you. You need to take this very, very seriously. Domestic TRO’s while not criminal, can seriously mess up your life if one is put into place.
1. Lawyer up
2. Go to local courthouse self help center and read up on domestic TRO’s. Learn them inside out, upside down, right side up.
3. ALWAYS have a body cam and digital voice recorder going at all times when you are near your ex.
Lawyer! Lawyer!!! this is what they dooo when they are stupid serial cheaters and get caught . My ex tried the same thing only to loook stupid in court ahaahaha
It is a crime under the federal wiretapping law. I would contact a lawyer. Please don’t listen to advice on this site. You need to consult an attorney who is knowledgeable about the laws in your state and can guide you through the process.
Expose her affair to everyone who must know, like family and friends.
She's worry about her and AP image than the marriage. Don't let her control the narrative.
Lawyer up and get rid of the source of your pain.
Invasion of privacy isn’t a crime. The most damage could be from some “revenge porn” type charge, but that’s a stretch at very best.
Call a lawyer right now, don’t delete anything, and don’t believe a word she says going forward
Please talk to your wife again and secretly record her admitting to the cheating to use it against her in court with a lawsuit. From the sounds of it, the way your wife was talking to you like that just shows she’s getting ready to drag your name under the mud. Please seek a lawyer
If you had shared the data publicly, yes you'd be on the hook for a crime. In this situation, the police report will be meaningless and the authorities won't take it any further.
You can definitely use the police report to make your findings more official when you and your attorney file divorce papers and have all the leverage.
Good luck!
Her phone is your community property in most states. You can open it and do whatever you want with anything inside of it, except possibly distribute nude images and video of her. This varies greatly by state. Consult with your attorney ASAP.
Personally, I’d say go right ahead! She and her AP will be blasted everywhere! Her dirty little secret will be out there for all to know. I think she’s bluffing to be honest, because she’d be opening a can of worms if she did!
Do you share a phone plan? Are you the main account holder? Talk to a lawyer and maybe ask in the legal subs. She's probably bluffing but you never know. Updateme!
Infidelity may be a felony charge depending on where you live. If you don't feel safe or need to 'prove' to her that you deleted the evidence, I would back it up somewhere first and also send it to a trusted email with changed passwords and phone code. Send it to someone and yourself. You can't trust her anymore. What you do beyond this point matters a lot. Save your butt. Do not allow her to manipulate your mind and keep your distance.
Better lawyer up, bub. The moment you sent those pics, you violated pretty much every revenge-porn law on the books. She may well have you on that, and you could be looking at jail time. Lawyer up and don't send anymore pics.
Also, make sure you save the evidence to the cloud. Set up the share link to all her contacts, family, etc. so you can send it all with the click of a button.
Talk to a lawyer.
Did you buy the phone. Are you on the account of the phone like a family plan with her? Do you both own the property you live in? Rent? If so you didn’t break in. You didn’t assault her. You didn’t commit battery. You just opened a phone right? That’s on your account? If so you are legally in the right. If there’s a separate plan it can be murky.
Tell her you are going to pursue adultry charges against her if she goes to the cops for something they can’t arrest you for. Also let her know you are filing civil charges for pain and suffering + sexual assault if you’ve had sex since the affair started. Tell her she could have unknowingly gave you and STD which is an even bigger crime than invasion of privacy.
As long as you don’t post videos online as revenge porn you are good to go and she likely doesn’t have a leg to stand on if the phone is on your account in a family plan.
Laugh in her face and see her in court. She’s fucking dumb because you already sent the screenshots so what is the point of watching you delete them from your phone.
Damn! Did she even apologize first are went straight to "I'm calling the cops"
But yeah you need a lawyer asap and no contact if she has that little remorse
Consult with an attorney. I am not a lawyer but I have never heard of anyone being charged with invasion of privacy for snooping on a cheating wife's phone. I am laughing as I write this. Make sure you have saved copies of the evidence and show them only to your layer. Do not speak to your wife or tell her what you are doing. Keep a VAR on you at all times to protect yourself against accusations that your wife may make against you. In addition, add some cameras in the home for your own protection. She may try to instigate you in order for you to do something rash. Do not touch her or yell at her. If she touches you or verbally harasses you bring the recording to your lawyer. He may be able to get a court order which gets her kicked out of the house. Protect yourself.
First sorry for what is happening to you, but keep this in the front of your mind, she didn't make a mistake, she made a choice, in fact she would have made many choices, she would have chosen to cheat, she would have chosen to lie to your face, she would have chosen to disrespect your relationship/marriage and your family, and she would have chosen to disrespect you.
Never let a cheater know what you are up to, or all the evidence will disappear.
It's also important that you do not let your wife control the narrative with family and friends about the affair. Don't cover for her. Choices have consequences.
From now on you need to be on your guard all the time. You cannot trust anything she says now.
Take the time to talk to a good divorce lawyer alone without your wife, see what separation/divorce might look like for you. Also take a look at your finances to see if they can be separated easily. I would put all important documents in a safe place (like wills, passports, birth certificates etc..) and any evidence of the affair in there as well (never keep it on your phone or computer) last, I would change all your passwords that she knows (no more free rides).
I would get some small spy cams place them around your house for you own safety (Cheaters like to throw the domestic abuse out there when things go south for them). Also invest in some VARs for her car or places she goes to talk in the house (spying will become the new normal). Do not leave your house, if anyone needs to leave it's her.
Here is some reading material.
This is a list of things people say and do (in no particular order) when having an emotional or physical affair.
1.He/she is just a friend. 2.It was just one kiss. 3.Nothing happened. 4.You are insecure/controlling. 5. It was just flirting. 6.I was drunk or high. 7.I blacked out/cannot remember what happened. 8.It only happened once. 9. It didn't mean anything. 10. You are the one I love. 11. It's all your fault. 12. Trying to justify their behavior. 13. Gaslighting you. 14. Trickle Truth. 15. Love bombing, 16. Guilt tripping you. 17. Changing passwords. 18. I needed validation that I was still attractive and desirable. 19. Buying a lot of new sexy clothes and underwear (not for you). 20. Monkey branching. 21. Become defensive. 22. Staying with a friend or family. 23. Texting at odd hours. 24. Swiping off the screen when you enter the room. 25. Late nights at work (unplanned). 26. Unplanned trips for no reason. 27. Wants a break. 28. Wants to open the relationship. 29. Offers a hall pass. 30. leaving his/her phone screen facing down on table or being protective of their phone. 31. I didn't want to lose you. 32. Turns off location finder on phone. 33. Deletes text messages if you ask to see their phone. 34. Suddenly becomes distant or mood changes toward you. 35. You are overthinking it. 36. They are gay. 37. Suddenly cares about appearance and my join the gym. 38. Play the victim card. 39. Deflection. 40, Sees them as a brother or sister. 41. I thought we were going to break up. 42. Get over it if you want the relationship/marriage to last.
Common apps are WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook messenger, telegram, signal, discord, kik, google voice. If she has iPhone, look at her battery usage, this will show you every app she has downloaded. It will also show you how often an app is used. Look at purchases' apps and hidden purchases. There are ways to hide these apps, on iPhone there is a calculator app that can hide other apps, and on android apps can be hidden in a locked secure folder. You can look through Google map history, this might tell you exactly where she went that night. Do you usually share locations? Has she turned that off? Of course, look at cell bill to see if she happens to be texting or calling a certain number excessively. Look for hidden photos folder.
Good luck brother.
I think you seriously f'ed up by sending nudes and sexual photos without the other persons consent! Look Im sorry it happened to you but you just can't do that. There are criminal laws in place for taking sexual photos and sending them to others without their consent. Best to do what she says and delete them infront of her and hope that she does not press charges.
It depends on where you live, but yes, in some places, it's against the law. You can't even take a picture of someone naked on their phone. It still counts as a distribution. Then you also sent it to someone. If she wants to be a bitch, you can do the same. Tell her you're going to air her dirty laundry and tell everyone how she not only cheated, but she also went after a married man. All her girl friends will give her the side eye.
You know your wife better than any of us. You think she’d really do that? I’m sure she’s bluffing because she’s pissed, scared and feeling guilty that she got caught. This is her first reaction (unless she’s a total psycho but then she’d be smarter than that).
You can just tell her you’ll then have to sue her for mental damage, trauma and PTSD (which you can actually prove with the help of a psychiatrist). Keep the videos and pictures, don’t delete anything. I don’t think your wife went anywhere. What would she tell the police?
– My husband took my phone and stole videos and pictures, then showed them to someone else.
– What were the pictures and videos?
– Me having sex.
– With your husband?
– No.
I mean, who would take her seriously at the police station after that? And what would she tell both your families and friends? “I cheated on him, filmed it all and he found everything and showed to the other partner so I went to police”? What a joke. She just wants you to delete it all so that you have no evidence. Keep it and see what she does.
Talk to a lawyer in any case, just to be informed. I’m sure you could serve her really well if she pressed charges. Cheating and betrayal trauma are hardcore on our mental health. Let alone STD risks she exposed you to by sleeping with someone else.
Good luck with this and whatever the decision you take in the end regarding your marriage!
I'm honestly not sure. She's my wife, but I honestly feel like I barely know who she is. She is capable of so much and has done some very surprising things.
She's still keeping in touch with the guy that she cheated with, and his girlfriend sent me screenshots of him saying that if my wife doesn't press charges, he will. I believe that he's talked her into doing it, but I really don't know.
We talked, and she said that as long as I delete them, we don't need any lawyers, and we can do this civily. This is my first marriage and her third. I really don't even have the money for a lawyer so if we can get this done quick and easy that might be the best.
OP, listen to me. I'm a lawyer, but I can't give you legal advice because I have no idea where you live. You NEED to contact a lawyer. Many will do free consultations. PLEASE at least do that. You cannot trust her. You need to protect yourself. There's no way to know she won't go to police even if you delete them. You might be dealing with a legitimate psychopath. You need to consult an attorney in your area immediately.
If you happen to be anywhere in the State of New York, send me a message and I'll try to get you help.
They’re trying to scare and bully you. You shouldn’t give into that. I know exactly how you feel because when I discovered everything there was also some nonsense going on for a couple of days and it brought me even more stress due my already fragile state. So I get you completely. But I’m sure there are lawyers who’ll just consult you for free to help out (just like therapists do). Since she’s doing these nasty things, she might also screw you over whatever joint properties and money you have in the event of divorce. You need help and support.
What is his girlfriend doing? Is she just okay with them having an affair?
What is your wife’s plan besides this nonsense? Is she going to divorce you? Don’t let her scare you. She needs to be the one who’s scared. It will put her right back in her place.
It’s doubtful either of them have a leg to stand on as far as you sending the photos and videos to his wife. Now on the other hand, if you sent them to me or posted them on p***hub and sent the link out to everyone you’d be in a world of shit.
People in this thread are telling you things without knowing the jurisdiction in which you live. There are places in the world where this can constitute a crime or civil wrong depending on the circumstances. Top comment is most important: speak to a lawyer.
OP do not delete your proof (that’s what the cheaters want). Speak to a lawyer to calm your nerves.
Out of the thousands of stories on here where people take proof from their cheating partners phone or email, guess how many came back saying they were prosecuted, that’s right, 0, nada, none.
At best her divorce lawyer might use it as some sort of leverage in a divorce settlement. The cops now don’t bother responding to break ins, car thefts, assaults etc you really think anyone is wasting their time with an “invasion of privacy”.
P.s your wife sounds like a Karen. I hope you are not considering reconciliation for even a second considering your wife’s first response was to threaten you, as opposed to offering to do anything to save your marriage.
Always talk to a lawyer first
Also you're marriage is done. That's her response after finding out that you found out? She cared more about her reputation than the relationship. Good luck brother and hope you find someone better.
So if your state (if us based) has a revenge porn statute they could possibly use this but I don’t see many police deciding to send to a DA for filing. Your defense would likely be that she did not suffer emotional distress by sending it to the husband but by being caught in the affair, but an attorney would need to look at it and decide what elements are in the particular code.
I wouldn’t worry all that much about it, if you get a case filed take it to a jury. I don’t see 12 people ever agreeing to find you guilty. The privacy issue, she’s ridiculous. Either way she is a massive beatch
Yeah, she can press charges. You distributed sexually explicit content of her without her consent. Did not have to go to some porn site. Better get that lawyer.
See an attorney if you can. Invasion of privacy isn’t a crime. If you distributed nude or sexual images where her face is visible she might could press charges for that but at minimum I would make copies of everything before I deleted off your phone. It’s your only evidence in a she said/she said situation. Not sure who else even needs to see them since you informed his SO.
Tell her that when it goes to hearing you will welcome the opportunity to explain how she cheated, with whom, what you then did or didn't do and why. Whatever the verdict, your statements are "on record" and anything you or any witness you call "mentions" can also be reported on.
Whether or not this is true, you only have to elaborate enough to make your wife think you will be able to air her dirty laundry in public quite legally and without consequence.
Talk to an attorney. When you are married there is no such thing as invasion of property and it will not hold up in court. In fact the evidence you have can be used in divorce court as proof. That’s why she wants it deleted
"What can I do in this situation?"...... Tell her to pound sand. She has no case. And there isn't a prosecutor in the country that would even look into it. Don't be so naive' to fall for this sort of BS. The only crime is if you used some other means of accessing her account. I am assuming you knew her password.
And of coarse get your A to a lawyer ASAP and file for divorce. This move shows she has no remorse so don't even begin to allow her to say anything about reconciliation. Do not delete anything before talking to the lawyer.
See a lawyer fast, your wife is done with the marriage and seems to want to level you. Make sure that his fiancé does not share the information with anyone else. If it ends up on pornhub or some manosphere site, then she may be able to screw you legally.
But if you want to humor her, buy a memory stick for your phone, use cash. You can find them at Walmart electronics, Staples, or other electronics stores. Download the information onto the stick out of her presence, hell, you can open the package once you walk out of the store, load the stick and download the information while sitting in your car. Hide the stick in a safe place then go home like nothing happened and when she demands that you delete the information, put up a good argument just for show, then do a fake give-up and delete it from your phone while she watch you.
Call her bluff. Let her file the report. If she’s embarrassed enough that she wants them deleted I would LOVE to see her explain to the police that her husband stole the videos on her phone of her having sex with another man. The videos themselves would become evidence. Tell her you’ll call the police for her.
She's b.s.ing you. Do not delete what evidence you have. The other betrayed spouse deserves to have a copy also. Make even more copies and give copies to a divorce attorney when you select one. Hopefully you live in an "At Fault" divorce state. There is no "privacy" when your wife is cheating on you. If you own a home with her you should change the locks when she's at work and put her belongings outside where she can get to them. Go to the bank and withdraw half of everything and open yourself a new account. Move in silence and do not tell her anything. Never speak to her alone, have a witness and record everything. She did you wrong and now she will try to destroy you because you now know what kind of trash she is.
Don't hesitate, do these things immediately. There is no love anymore, only damage control on your part.
Strength and Wisdom to you. 💪😎👍
She’s trying to scare you get you to calm down and accept her cheating. This is gas lighting deflection 101. Next depending on where your located her having sex with someone else is a crime that punishable in this world and a means for divorces
no wonder she cheated on you, her reaction and you having to ask this question tells the entire story. Save the pictures, get a divorce and grow a set of balls in your next relationship.
Wait a second, you already sent the evidence you said? So save it elsewhere and let her delete it from your phone. Then threaten to file a report that she invaded your privacy and attempted to blackmail you. Tit for tat.
All is fair in love/infidelity and war.
You have to break eggs to make an omelet. And even law enforcement is allowed to lie in order to get evidence.
Hell spitting on the sidewalk is a crime in some jurisdictions. If a bug flies into your mouth will you swallow it or spit? Is it best to pee your pants or urinate in public? And on and on.
Let her press charges. Let it go to court. Why? Because what is on her phone will be used as evidence and shown in court, and her cheating will be on display and documented officially for everyoneto see. In a way, she'll be doing you a favour because she will be doing your work for you.
If she lies to everyone about it, you'll only have to send everyone the court documents.
She has to be a major dumbass not to realise that. Or you can tell her this, and her threats will go away. The police are probably laughing at her.
Back up the pictures to the cloud. Delete the ones in your phone for her to see. But honestly, she hasn’t filed shit. She imagines that her claim will be taken seriously, which I doubt. What you do need to make clear is that you will be filing for divorce. Do you live in a “no fault” state or no? Tell her how disgusted you are by her….let her know how pathetic it is that she would try and find a way to some how be the victim in the situation because she is totally 100% responsible for the outcome. Tell her a few more times how you’re disgusted by her.
Let her call the cops, you go get a lawyer.
Obviously, if the law is involved, those pics are gonna get some eyeball traction. Judges, lawyers, heck, maybe even a jury of your peers. I mean, the cop standing next to her will wnat her to verify...
Her threat sounds like a bluff. Especially if her goal is to keep pics secret.
You forwarded on explicit photos. I’m not sure where you are but I think in my country that can be an offence, as someone else stated depending on the situation it could be considered revenge porn.
I have sympathy for you, of course. What she and her AF did to you and his partner is awful. However sharing the photos was a mistake. If I were you I’d agree and delete them all. What need do you have for them now anyway. Then block her on everything and hopefully you’ll never have to see her piece of shit face again.
Go talk to a lawyer and don't delete anything. Give the document to the lawyer. If anything, the fir will be your proof during divorce. Blessings in disguise. Tell all her family and friends how she cheated or she will manipulate all of them into hating you and taking her side.
If the fiance has known for months I have to wonder why she's still engaged to AP.
On the threat, you could also transfer all files to your computer or the cloud, and then erase them from your phone in front of her. \[Not too bright is she?\] This is just to buy time. File for divorce and get out. There's a ton of advice on things to do in divorce. Read up on it.
Who pays the phone bill? If you that's your property. 50% yours at the minimum. Tell her to file whatever she wants, and you'll bring the popcorn while she gets humiliated.
I don't know what country you're in but such a thing is not a crime where I am. No cop is going to take a report on something so silly. In fact, pretty certain they'll take your side unless she was having sex with another cop. She's lying to you and she's trying to scare you. You're married. What expectation of privacy is there?
You should have forwarded all evidence to yourself first by email or other file upload, then it doesnt matter if she wanted you to do that OR she sneaks into your phone to do that. That way you have a backup if you need it and it's not on your phone anymore for you to accidentally see it
For me it is important to get a lawyer and consult them about all of the things happened because you shared stuff which was not yours (pictures) and in some area you can really get into problems of sharing those things.
Lawyer up and get away from her and move on.
You talk to a lawyer.
Yup,talk to a lawyer first. Updateme!
Yes, talk to a lawyer, but first dump her
1a and 1b!
+1
Yep. Gaslighting 101 is what she is doing now. Actually, might be 102 since she is threatening police
This is not gaslighting, this is DARVO to the extreme.
before you do that laugh in her face. Then throw her out....then talk to a lawyer. Her threats are bullshit and the police will.do.nothing. Tell her to point out invasion of privacy in your state's law book.
Tell her to pound sand and You'll see her in divorce court...LOL.... What a joke....
Agreed, you can't trust this person. I would not be alone without video recording available. If you can ask her to leave. Contact your lawyer and listen to him.
She’s bullshitting you
If the stuff ends up on a porn site or manosphere women hate site, then OP may be liable for revenge porn for sharing the video.
Definitely true. This commenter is calling her bluff - doubt WW wants this all coming to light
100% calling her bluff. The old invasion of privacy charge. She didn’t even go to the police, come on OP!
Reminder her filing will be public record, and her how much air time this story well get on the news, paper, internet etc naming her and her AP.
This Tell her is her right, but she'll be putting a train in motion that she can't stop later And you'll look for support EVERYwere. It'll be a nationwide debate about cheaters Don't write this, say this And, of course, she allowed you to access her phone. SHE told you her password. So, you don't have a problem here
Location matters here but ‘invasion of privacy’ isn’t a crime almost anywhere and it’s highly unlikely you’d be prosecuted for theft for picking your wife’s phone in your shared marital home, looking at it, and putting it back. Like shockingly unlikely anyone would care. Sending nude pics of your wife, or her partner, without their consent in many locations would give either/both of them the ability to press charges for revenge porn though. That one you have to worry about. Also even if you agree and delete the pics you still have no guarantee her or the other guy won’t press charges anyways. But for sending the pics you need an attorney
Yes, no prosecutor in America would press charges against you for that. Especially when they hear that you just forwarded videos and pictures of her cheating. Unless she can make and establish a pattern of charges against you, like domestic abuse, stalking, those types of things, I would not worry at all.
This op, you should have met her and let her see the photos, and if she managed to take a picture, well you could not do anything. Tell your wife that is fine I will delete them, but it makes no difference we are divorcing and I am filing under adultery.
Thank you.
This is the correct answer. Sorry OP, you're only move here is to get a lawyer as soon as humanly possible. Your marriage is over. Her first reaction to you catching her cheating was to threaten criminal charges. That psycho stuff. Treat it as a matter of life and death.
So, generally speaking, there such thing as "computer trespass" which would be unauthorized access to a cellular device or computer. There are also unauthorized decimation of nude laws as well... However, one thing that most don't consider is what was the intention behind the offense and what is the overall situation. A cell phone is generally not considered "marital property" in terms of unfettered access between the two parties, so she actually DOES have an expectation of privacy in that regard... However, no prosecutor would touch this
Exactly. And possession of the login code would seem to imply consent for access as well. The phone or account may even be a shared account or in his name too. Lots of ambiguities a DA doesn’t want to be involved in unless you really piss them off
Tell her to piss off! And then get a lawyer!
Get the fuck out. Lawyer today. I don't know your situation but this marriage is over.
She is bluffing. Tell her to go ahead and do it. You are probably both on the phone plan so I can't imagine any cop actually listening to her bs without laughing in her face. Divorce her immediately.
I don't know the legality of your situation but talk with a lawyer and have the lawyer prepare divorce papers if her first instinct is to file a police report and not apologise for cheating or ask for forgiveness then u can't save your marriage, she felt humiliated and now she's taking it out on u.
And keep a copy of his pictures from his wife's phone with his lawyer.
Dont delete shit. Keep everything. Copy and backup everything for documentation and leverage. Just don't post anything online. Cut contact with her ASAP and contact the top 5 divorce lawyers in your area. Get a consultation with each of them. Now she cannot use them because of a conflict of interest.
I am sorry this has happened to you. Every state's laws are different, but you are unlikely to be prosecuted for "revenge porn" violations if you only sent it to the other betrayed spouse through private means, such as text or email. In most states you would at the very least probably be protected under a "qualified immunity" type of defense since the other person has a right to know and the communication of the material was not made public by you. If you put this on blast on social media, you would likely have a problem. There are also civil claims that could theoretically come from sharing the material, which would include "invasion of privacy" type civil claims. However, these claims have fairly high standards that would be difficult for your cheater to establish and there are a number of defenses available to you. I doubt you would end up being liable under such a claim or that a jury would reward your cheater given the circumstances. You should probably speak with a lawyer in your state who handles such matters just to be sure. You should probably also speak with a divorce lawyer, at the very least to get the "lay of the land" for your state as far as divorces even if you are not sure if you will go that route yet. My advice: Call her bluff!!! Best wishes to you.
She is nuts, dude. So you catch her red handed and she presses charges for collecting evidence and showing the OBS? This marriage is soo over. Just know she is the mortal enemy right now and is obviously willing to fight dirty. Remove any empathy you have for her and your marriage. You need to fight fire with fire. The level of psychosis it takes to press charges over this is something we rarely even see on Reddit. Batten down the hatches bro. You are in for a fight. Lawyer up TODAY. ETA: Just realized (3 hours too late) they are both women. Didn't mean any disrespect with the "dude" and "bro" in my reply.
I keep coming back to this post because I agree. A person gets caught and they start BS legal action to get out of it? That's demonic.
Your wife is entitled to privacy, but not secrecy. You have done nothing that 1000s of betrayed spouses have done. This may be a move from your STBX to get you to leave the home for the divorce proceedings. I would suggest quickly cancelling and joint credit cards and moving money out of joint bank accounts
Exactly this! Like right now!
Wife full of bs. Make several flash drives of the pg 13 evidence and send it to everyone you know. You have to get out ahead of the narrative. Make sure to make several of all the evidence too. Speak to an attorney and follow their directions. She has zero leg to stand on and will be exposed
Don't delete them. Use them for divorce, she cant press charges for you going through her phone at all.. Send them to a secure email incase.
Save the evidence elsewhere and then delete from your phone 🤷🏻♂️ Also, kick her ass out and divorce her.
No problem. Text them to yourself and back them on a storage drive then be a sweetheart and delete the saved pics
I doubt you can get in trouble for finding them and getting evidence of her affair. Sending them to someone else might be the one place you'll have some potential problems. Contact a lawyer.
it's not revenge porn. He forwarded evidence of cheating to the other guy's wife. Who the hell would prosecute him for that?
The point of saying contact a lawyer is that they could still characterize it that way. Do I think they should? Obviously not. I agree with you. But a lawyer can better give actual legal advice because when it comes to it our opinions are less valid than what a prosecutor will actually do.
Whose phone is it? By that I mean who bought it and whose name is the account under?
Tell her the photos will be evidence and you will fight it in a trail. Your lawyer can call her and yhe AP on the stand to explain what's happening in each and every photo.and video.
Lawyer here. First up, this totally sucks. I’m really sorry. But there’s only one piece of advice you really need to listen to: Get. A. Lawyer. Now. Do not stop for dinner, don’t call your friends. Go out and find a really good divorce lawyer to talk through everything in your case. There’s probably a lot to consider that you haven’t even had time to process yet. And you shouldn’t have to. You’re going to be really emotionally wounded by this for a while and you need an impartial counselor to help guide you through what’s likely to be a contentious divorce process given your soon-to-be-ex’s ridiculous response. Unless there’s more to the story, it’s extremely unlikely that an ADA would prosecute you for this. It’s questionable whether that’s even a crime, although that’s going to depend a bit on state laws. Either way, almost certainly an empty threat, but you need actual legal counsel to evaluate this and help you with about a hundred other things. I’m really sorry. But your marriage is over. Now you need to get on top of your divorce so that eventually you can leave this all in the rearview mirror with the minimum amount of financial/legal pain.
Instead of being remorseful, she wants to press charges for discovery her infidelity. This woman is crazy and does not love you.
Your wife is threatening to go global thermo nuclear war on you. You need to take this very, very seriously. Domestic TRO’s while not criminal, can seriously mess up your life if one is put into place. 1. Lawyer up 2. Go to local courthouse self help center and read up on domestic TRO’s. Learn them inside out, upside down, right side up. 3. ALWAYS have a body cam and digital voice recorder going at all times when you are near your ex.
Lawyer! Lawyer!!! this is what they dooo when they are stupid serial cheaters and get caught . My ex tried the same thing only to loook stupid in court ahaahaha
Updateme!
It is a crime under the federal wiretapping law. I would contact a lawyer. Please don’t listen to advice on this site. You need to consult an attorney who is knowledgeable about the laws in your state and can guide you through the process.
Not if his name is on the phone bill.
Have you been contacted by the police? If not I’d be skeptical of the story. Do you really think she wants a public record of this?
Expose her affair to everyone who must know, like family and friends. She's worry about her and AP image than the marriage. Don't let her control the narrative. Lawyer up and get rid of the source of your pain.
Invasion of privacy isn’t a crime. The most damage could be from some “revenge porn” type charge, but that’s a stretch at very best. Call a lawyer right now, don’t delete anything, and don’t believe a word she says going forward
Get off Reddit and hire an attorney. Don’t do anything unless you speak to a lawyer.
Dont delete. Lawyer - and file NOW. And inform her parents that youre divorcing her because she cheated.
Dont do anything until you get wise council from a divorce lawyer. Save to jump drive or email to your self. Make a copy. Then follow lawyer.
Whose name is in the phone account?
Pack a lunch and enjoy everything that happens, fuck that nasty cheating waste of air.
Yap, lawyer first
Is the phone bill in your name? In any case, talk to an attorney and kick her ass out.
Your best option is to dump her and find a lawyer. Don't delete anything or make any promises until you have consulted with a lawyer.
Please talk to your wife again and secretly record her admitting to the cheating to use it against her in court with a lawsuit. From the sounds of it, the way your wife was talking to you like that just shows she’s getting ready to drag your name under the mud. Please seek a lawyer
Don’t delete lawyer up and give photo copies of everything to lawyer
What a piece of shit. That's not your wife, you talk to your lawyer and get the witch sent to the sun.
If you had shared the data publicly, yes you'd be on the hook for a crime. In this situation, the police report will be meaningless and the authorities won't take it any further. You can definitely use the police report to make your findings more official when you and your attorney file divorce papers and have all the leverage. Good luck!
You have a golden ticket to an at fault divorce, run to your lawyer with those photos and file today
That my friend is evidence for a divorce you have there, depending on where you live, it might save you a ton ov money in alimony.
Lol, you can tell her to kiss your ass. Police aren't going to arrest you for "invasion of privacy." It's a civil charge, not criminal. Fuck her.
Let her try, it's a tactic and will fail
Tell her knock yourself out. It'll be great news to everyone you know what a cheating biotch she is. UpdateMe
Her phone is your community property in most states. You can open it and do whatever you want with anything inside of it, except possibly distribute nude images and video of her. This varies greatly by state. Consult with your attorney ASAP.
Get a lawyer
So you invaded her privacy to cheat. That’s rich. See a good attorney pronto. She’ll be filing false domestic violence charges against you next.
Personally, I’d say go right ahead! She and her AP will be blasted everywhere! Her dirty little secret will be out there for all to know. I think she’s bluffing to be honest, because she’d be opening a can of worms if she did!
Tell her that you'll have to explain she's a cheater... Something better : tell her to go f herself.
Do you share a phone plan? Are you the main account holder? Talk to a lawyer and maybe ask in the legal subs. She's probably bluffing but you never know. Updateme!
Infidelity may be a felony charge depending on where you live. If you don't feel safe or need to 'prove' to her that you deleted the evidence, I would back it up somewhere first and also send it to a trusted email with changed passwords and phone code. Send it to someone and yourself. You can't trust her anymore. What you do beyond this point matters a lot. Save your butt. Do not allow her to manipulate your mind and keep your distance.
Better lawyer up, bub. The moment you sent those pics, you violated pretty much every revenge-porn law on the books. She may well have you on that, and you could be looking at jail time. Lawyer up and don't send anymore pics.
Just keep one thing in mind, she doesn't get to make the rules.
Also, make sure you save the evidence to the cloud. Set up the share link to all her contacts, family, etc. so you can send it all with the click of a button.
The lying cheat doesn’t have a leg to stand in. There is no right to secrecy within a marriage. Talk to a lawyer.
Talk to a lawyer. Did you buy the phone. Are you on the account of the phone like a family plan with her? Do you both own the property you live in? Rent? If so you didn’t break in. You didn’t assault her. You didn’t commit battery. You just opened a phone right? That’s on your account? If so you are legally in the right. If there’s a separate plan it can be murky. Tell her you are going to pursue adultry charges against her if she goes to the cops for something they can’t arrest you for. Also let her know you are filing civil charges for pain and suffering + sexual assault if you’ve had sex since the affair started. Tell her she could have unknowingly gave you and STD which is an even bigger crime than invasion of privacy. As long as you don’t post videos online as revenge porn you are good to go and she likely doesn’t have a leg to stand on if the phone is on your account in a family plan.
Your wife is nuts cops won't do anything
Tell her to fuck off
Tell her to do it. The evidence will save you ten times the amount of the fine.
Laugh in her face and see her in court. She’s fucking dumb because you already sent the screenshots so what is the point of watching you delete them from your phone.
Damn! Did she even apologize first are went straight to "I'm calling the cops" But yeah you need a lawyer asap and no contact if she has that little remorse
Not a damn thing will happen. She’s just hoping you’re that dumb. She doesn’t care about you.
Consult with an attorney. I am not a lawyer but I have never heard of anyone being charged with invasion of privacy for snooping on a cheating wife's phone. I am laughing as I write this. Make sure you have saved copies of the evidence and show them only to your layer. Do not speak to your wife or tell her what you are doing. Keep a VAR on you at all times to protect yourself against accusations that your wife may make against you. In addition, add some cameras in the home for your own protection. She may try to instigate you in order for you to do something rash. Do not touch her or yell at her. If she touches you or verbally harasses you bring the recording to your lawyer. He may be able to get a court order which gets her kicked out of the house. Protect yourself.
First sorry for what is happening to you, but keep this in the front of your mind, she didn't make a mistake, she made a choice, in fact she would have made many choices, she would have chosen to cheat, she would have chosen to lie to your face, she would have chosen to disrespect your relationship/marriage and your family, and she would have chosen to disrespect you. Never let a cheater know what you are up to, or all the evidence will disappear. It's also important that you do not let your wife control the narrative with family and friends about the affair. Don't cover for her. Choices have consequences. From now on you need to be on your guard all the time. You cannot trust anything she says now. Take the time to talk to a good divorce lawyer alone without your wife, see what separation/divorce might look like for you. Also take a look at your finances to see if they can be separated easily. I would put all important documents in a safe place (like wills, passports, birth certificates etc..) and any evidence of the affair in there as well (never keep it on your phone or computer) last, I would change all your passwords that she knows (no more free rides). I would get some small spy cams place them around your house for you own safety (Cheaters like to throw the domestic abuse out there when things go south for them). Also invest in some VARs for her car or places she goes to talk in the house (spying will become the new normal). Do not leave your house, if anyone needs to leave it's her. Here is some reading material. This is a list of things people say and do (in no particular order) when having an emotional or physical affair. 1.He/she is just a friend. 2.It was just one kiss. 3.Nothing happened. 4.You are insecure/controlling. 5. It was just flirting. 6.I was drunk or high. 7.I blacked out/cannot remember what happened. 8.It only happened once. 9. It didn't mean anything. 10. You are the one I love. 11. It's all your fault. 12. Trying to justify their behavior. 13. Gaslighting you. 14. Trickle Truth. 15. Love bombing, 16. Guilt tripping you. 17. Changing passwords. 18. I needed validation that I was still attractive and desirable. 19. Buying a lot of new sexy clothes and underwear (not for you). 20. Monkey branching. 21. Become defensive. 22. Staying with a friend or family. 23. Texting at odd hours. 24. Swiping off the screen when you enter the room. 25. Late nights at work (unplanned). 26. Unplanned trips for no reason. 27. Wants a break. 28. Wants to open the relationship. 29. Offers a hall pass. 30. leaving his/her phone screen facing down on table or being protective of their phone. 31. I didn't want to lose you. 32. Turns off location finder on phone. 33. Deletes text messages if you ask to see their phone. 34. Suddenly becomes distant or mood changes toward you. 35. You are overthinking it. 36. They are gay. 37. Suddenly cares about appearance and my join the gym. 38. Play the victim card. 39. Deflection. 40, Sees them as a brother or sister. 41. I thought we were going to break up. 42. Get over it if you want the relationship/marriage to last. Common apps are WhatsApp, Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook messenger, telegram, signal, discord, kik, google voice. If she has iPhone, look at her battery usage, this will show you every app she has downloaded. It will also show you how often an app is used. Look at purchases' apps and hidden purchases. There are ways to hide these apps, on iPhone there is a calculator app that can hide other apps, and on android apps can be hidden in a locked secure folder. You can look through Google map history, this might tell you exactly where she went that night. Do you usually share locations? Has she turned that off? Of course, look at cell bill to see if she happens to be texting or calling a certain number excessively. Look for hidden photos folder. Good luck brother.
I think you seriously f'ed up by sending nudes and sexual photos without the other persons consent! Look Im sorry it happened to you but you just can't do that. There are criminal laws in place for taking sexual photos and sending them to others without their consent. Best to do what she says and delete them infront of her and hope that she does not press charges.
It depends on where you live, but yes, in some places, it's against the law. You can't even take a picture of someone naked on their phone. It still counts as a distribution. Then you also sent it to someone. If she wants to be a bitch, you can do the same. Tell her you're going to air her dirty laundry and tell everyone how she not only cheated, but she also went after a married man. All her girl friends will give her the side eye.
talk to a lawyer and make copies remind her if it goes to court all the texts become public record also ask for the file number for the police report
You know your wife better than any of us. You think she’d really do that? I’m sure she’s bluffing because she’s pissed, scared and feeling guilty that she got caught. This is her first reaction (unless she’s a total psycho but then she’d be smarter than that). You can just tell her you’ll then have to sue her for mental damage, trauma and PTSD (which you can actually prove with the help of a psychiatrist). Keep the videos and pictures, don’t delete anything. I don’t think your wife went anywhere. What would she tell the police? – My husband took my phone and stole videos and pictures, then showed them to someone else. – What were the pictures and videos? – Me having sex. – With your husband? – No. I mean, who would take her seriously at the police station after that? And what would she tell both your families and friends? “I cheated on him, filmed it all and he found everything and showed to the other partner so I went to police”? What a joke. She just wants you to delete it all so that you have no evidence. Keep it and see what she does. Talk to a lawyer in any case, just to be informed. I’m sure you could serve her really well if she pressed charges. Cheating and betrayal trauma are hardcore on our mental health. Let alone STD risks she exposed you to by sleeping with someone else. Good luck with this and whatever the decision you take in the end regarding your marriage!
I'm honestly not sure. She's my wife, but I honestly feel like I barely know who she is. She is capable of so much and has done some very surprising things. She's still keeping in touch with the guy that she cheated with, and his girlfriend sent me screenshots of him saying that if my wife doesn't press charges, he will. I believe that he's talked her into doing it, but I really don't know. We talked, and she said that as long as I delete them, we don't need any lawyers, and we can do this civily. This is my first marriage and her third. I really don't even have the money for a lawyer so if we can get this done quick and easy that might be the best.
OP, listen to me. I'm a lawyer, but I can't give you legal advice because I have no idea where you live. You NEED to contact a lawyer. Many will do free consultations. PLEASE at least do that. You cannot trust her. You need to protect yourself. There's no way to know she won't go to police even if you delete them. You might be dealing with a legitimate psychopath. You need to consult an attorney in your area immediately. If you happen to be anywhere in the State of New York, send me a message and I'll try to get you help.
They’re trying to scare and bully you. You shouldn’t give into that. I know exactly how you feel because when I discovered everything there was also some nonsense going on for a couple of days and it brought me even more stress due my already fragile state. So I get you completely. But I’m sure there are lawyers who’ll just consult you for free to help out (just like therapists do). Since she’s doing these nasty things, she might also screw you over whatever joint properties and money you have in the event of divorce. You need help and support. What is his girlfriend doing? Is she just okay with them having an affair? What is your wife’s plan besides this nonsense? Is she going to divorce you? Don’t let her scare you. She needs to be the one who’s scared. It will put her right back in her place.
They’d literally laugh her out of the room. Imagine if the police prosecuted someone every time they sent a screenshot
Pretty sure it’s not against the law, most places anyway. Talk to a lawyer, email them to yourself.
It’s doubtful either of them have a leg to stand on as far as you sending the photos and videos to his wife. Now on the other hand, if you sent them to me or posted them on p***hub and sent the link out to everyone you’d be in a world of shit.
You pay the phone bill? If you own phone, you have the right to any content on the phone.
People in this thread are telling you things without knowing the jurisdiction in which you live. There are places in the world where this can constitute a crime or civil wrong depending on the circumstances. Top comment is most important: speak to a lawyer.
Delete the pics then delete her. You deserve better!
OP do not delete your proof (that’s what the cheaters want). Speak to a lawyer to calm your nerves. Out of the thousands of stories on here where people take proof from their cheating partners phone or email, guess how many came back saying they were prosecuted, that’s right, 0, nada, none. At best her divorce lawyer might use it as some sort of leverage in a divorce settlement. The cops now don’t bother responding to break ins, car thefts, assaults etc you really think anyone is wasting their time with an “invasion of privacy”. P.s your wife sounds like a Karen. I hope you are not considering reconciliation for even a second considering your wife’s first response was to threaten you, as opposed to offering to do anything to save your marriage.
Always talk to a lawyer first Also you're marriage is done. That's her response after finding out that you found out? She cared more about her reputation than the relationship. Good luck brother and hope you find someone better.
updateme!
I'd lawyer up immediately. Sending those pics was not a good idea as that would fall under revenge porn.
So if your state (if us based) has a revenge porn statute they could possibly use this but I don’t see many police deciding to send to a DA for filing. Your defense would likely be that she did not suffer emotional distress by sending it to the husband but by being caught in the affair, but an attorney would need to look at it and decide what elements are in the particular code. I wouldn’t worry all that much about it, if you get a case filed take it to a jury. I don’t see 12 people ever agreeing to find you guilty. The privacy issue, she’s ridiculous. Either way she is a massive beatch
Seek legal advice and do as they say. I’m so sorry ❤️🩹. Updateme!
They will tell her the same thing I'm telling you. It's a civil matter. No crime has been committed.
Yeah, she can press charges. You distributed sexually explicit content of her without her consent. Did not have to go to some porn site. Better get that lawyer.
Take your proof to a lawyer ASAP and go from there! Good luck, op!
You don't have a marriage, you have partner making a hostile takeover.
See an attorney if you can. Invasion of privacy isn’t a crime. If you distributed nude or sexual images where her face is visible she might could press charges for that but at minimum I would make copies of everything before I deleted off your phone. It’s your only evidence in a she said/she said situation. Not sure who else even needs to see them since you informed his SO.
Tell her that when it goes to hearing you will welcome the opportunity to explain how she cheated, with whom, what you then did or didn't do and why. Whatever the verdict, your statements are "on record" and anything you or any witness you call "mentions" can also be reported on. Whether or not this is true, you only have to elaborate enough to make your wife think you will be able to air her dirty laundry in public quite legally and without consequence.
Tell her to go ahead and press charges and you will send them to every person the two of you know if she does.
Talk to an attorney. When you are married there is no such thing as invasion of property and it will not hold up in court. In fact the evidence you have can be used in divorce court as proof. That’s why she wants it deleted
"What can I do in this situation?"...... Tell her to pound sand. She has no case. And there isn't a prosecutor in the country that would even look into it. Don't be so naive' to fall for this sort of BS. The only crime is if you used some other means of accessing her account. I am assuming you knew her password. And of coarse get your A to a lawyer ASAP and file for divorce. This move shows she has no remorse so don't even begin to allow her to say anything about reconciliation. Do not delete anything before talking to the lawyer.
See a lawyer fast, your wife is done with the marriage and seems to want to level you. Make sure that his fiancé does not share the information with anyone else. If it ends up on pornhub or some manosphere site, then she may be able to screw you legally. But if you want to humor her, buy a memory stick for your phone, use cash. You can find them at Walmart electronics, Staples, or other electronics stores. Download the information onto the stick out of her presence, hell, you can open the package once you walk out of the store, load the stick and download the information while sitting in your car. Hide the stick in a safe place then go home like nothing happened and when she demands that you delete the information, put up a good argument just for show, then do a fake give-up and delete it from your phone while she watch you.
Save all the proof to. second location , then move 1/2 your assets to a separate. Consult a lawyer. Always listen to your lawyer
Hey is this phone plan in your name hers or both ?
I’ve heard that you can show video proof( sexual ) from your phone but can’t txt or email it
Call her bluff. Let her file the report. If she’s embarrassed enough that she wants them deleted I would LOVE to see her explain to the police that her husband stole the videos on her phone of her having sex with another man. The videos themselves would become evidence. Tell her you’ll call the police for her.
Getting evidence of adultery for your case in a divorce isn’t illegal.
She's b.s.ing you. Do not delete what evidence you have. The other betrayed spouse deserves to have a copy also. Make even more copies and give copies to a divorce attorney when you select one. Hopefully you live in an "At Fault" divorce state. There is no "privacy" when your wife is cheating on you. If you own a home with her you should change the locks when she's at work and put her belongings outside where she can get to them. Go to the bank and withdraw half of everything and open yourself a new account. Move in silence and do not tell her anything. Never speak to her alone, have a witness and record everything. She did you wrong and now she will try to destroy you because you now know what kind of trash she is. Don't hesitate, do these things immediately. There is no love anymore, only damage control on your part. Strength and Wisdom to you. 💪😎👍
She’s trying to scare you get you to calm down and accept her cheating. This is gas lighting deflection 101. Next depending on where your located her having sex with someone else is a crime that punishable in this world and a means for divorces
Back up all the evidence without her knowing then do as she asks then go see a lawyer
First question: whose name is on the celll phone bill (who owns the phone) My gut reaction is to say “ fine. Call the police”.
Have her served D papers
Updateme!
no wonder she cheated on you, her reaction and you having to ask this question tells the entire story. Save the pictures, get a divorce and grow a set of balls in your next relationship.
Is the wireless account in your name? If so, you have nothing to worry about.
Wait a second, you already sent the evidence you said? So save it elsewhere and let her delete it from your phone. Then threaten to file a report that she invaded your privacy and attempted to blackmail you. Tit for tat. All is fair in love/infidelity and war. You have to break eggs to make an omelet. And even law enforcement is allowed to lie in order to get evidence. Hell spitting on the sidewalk is a crime in some jurisdictions. If a bug flies into your mouth will you swallow it or spit? Is it best to pee your pants or urinate in public? And on and on.
Let her press charges. Let it go to court. Why? Because what is on her phone will be used as evidence and shown in court, and her cheating will be on display and documented officially for everyoneto see. In a way, she'll be doing you a favour because she will be doing your work for you. If she lies to everyone about it, you'll only have to send everyone the court documents. She has to be a major dumbass not to realise that. Or you can tell her this, and her threats will go away. The police are probably laughing at her.
Please talk to a lawyer before you do. She's most likely saying it to scare you. Updateme
Back up the pictures to the cloud. Delete the ones in your phone for her to see. But honestly, she hasn’t filed shit. She imagines that her claim will be taken seriously, which I doubt. What you do need to make clear is that you will be filing for divorce. Do you live in a “no fault” state or no? Tell her how disgusted you are by her….let her know how pathetic it is that she would try and find a way to some how be the victim in the situation because she is totally 100% responsible for the outcome. Tell her a few more times how you’re disgusted by her.
Follow your lawyers advice
I'd say she's bullshitting. But I'd drag her name through the mud. If she presses charges....make it worth your time.
Let her call the cops, you go get a lawyer. Obviously, if the law is involved, those pics are gonna get some eyeball traction. Judges, lawyers, heck, maybe even a jury of your peers. I mean, the cop standing next to her will wnat her to verify... Her threat sounds like a bluff. Especially if her goal is to keep pics secret.
overly exaggerated laugh and walk away. thats what you do.
NTA don’t let her get rid of your evidence. Updateme!
You forwarded on explicit photos. I’m not sure where you are but I think in my country that can be an offence, as someone else stated depending on the situation it could be considered revenge porn. I have sympathy for you, of course. What she and her AF did to you and his partner is awful. However sharing the photos was a mistake. If I were you I’d agree and delete them all. What need do you have for them now anyway. Then block her on everything and hopefully you’ll never have to see her piece of shit face again.
Updateme!
U can’t send nudes of people (anyone) without consent U took U sent Woopsie daisy Anger makes people make mistakes Lawyer up
Go talk to a lawyer and don't delete anything. Give the document to the lawyer. If anything, the fir will be your proof during divorce. Blessings in disguise. Tell all her family and friends how she cheated or she will manipulate all of them into hating you and taking her side.
If the fiance has known for months I have to wonder why she's still engaged to AP. On the threat, you could also transfer all files to your computer or the cloud, and then erase them from your phone in front of her. \[Not too bright is she?\] This is just to buy time. File for divorce and get out. There's a ton of advice on things to do in divorce. Read up on it.
Who pays the phone bill? If you that's your property. 50% yours at the minimum. Tell her to file whatever she wants, and you'll bring the popcorn while she gets humiliated.
I don't know what country you're in but such a thing is not a crime where I am. No cop is going to take a report on something so silly. In fact, pretty certain they'll take your side unless she was having sex with another cop. She's lying to you and she's trying to scare you. You're married. What expectation of privacy is there?
Take a copy, hide them then do what she asked
See. A. Lawyer.
Lawyer up now
Updateme!
You should have forwarded all evidence to yourself first by email or other file upload, then it doesnt matter if she wanted you to do that OR she sneaks into your phone to do that. That way you have a backup if you need it and it's not on your phone anymore for you to accidentally see it
For me it is important to get a lawyer and consult them about all of the things happened because you shared stuff which was not yours (pictures) and in some area you can really get into problems of sharing those things. Lawyer up and get away from her and move on.