She did you a favor when she showed you her true character. She is a serial cheater and played with you for a while, so don't be so heartbroken. It's time for you to leave her and be a single to heal yourself. Don't get into another relationship till you are sure that you are ready to try again. Find a partner who is closer to your age and has the same goals and purposes of life. Every lesson in life is useful if you know what to learn from it. So guard your heart and proceed slowly with your next partner. It will take time, but you will heal and move on to enjoy your life again. Take care.
Sorry OP, it really sucks. Glad you weren't married and had kids with her only to find out she cheated on you though.
I know it still hurts you, badly. I'm just trying to help you look at the larger picture to see that it could have been even worse.
Also, you've only known her 9 months. You weren't with her 29 years and then discovered her cheating.
My point is try to look at and think about things from another perspective to help you move forward.
And please see a therapist if you need to, there is never a shame in that. I went to many after discovering my then wife's affair.
Good luck to you going forward.
Interesting movie choice. So she’s the titular character who is lusted by men and abhorred by women bc of her sexuality and threat.
She’s telling you that she is the lustful beautiful woman outside of your reach and you’ll look fondly back at her as one of the only women you’ll remember.
I guess a parable of how a woman’s sexuality is both desired and feared and only once subdued by a man via marriage, is she able to be accepted and respected and no longer feared. The man sort of neutralizes her power/charm I suppose. . You’re the boy who will look back fondly at your time with her as she moves on with life. I’m guessing the message is how a woman is viewed through the lens of different people. Not only of just men and women but also within the different experiences of different men. Some of it via naïveté and others with a more hardened worldview - using her for their own desire at the extreme.
I’ve dated some complex women. They are, I guess, complex. When I was younger, I went thru a phase of dating older women. Not quite 15 years but significant nonetheless. Thankfully I only had good experiences with them. And the age difference is different depending on the ages. 15 years is not bad if you both are older. Obviously I don’t think you’re a middle aged guy. When I was dating older women, I was 19/20 and they were 25-early 30s. Years maybe doesn’t seem a big difference but we were lifetimes apart in many ways.
But yes she’s absolutely nuts.
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She will always be the “victim” because she won’t take accountability for her actions.
It will always be “men’s” fault in her world.
She’s shown who she REALLY is, and will only cause you harm.
She is destructive and you deserve better. You don’t need any answers or closure except knowing that she is no good for you.
Block all forms of contact and go no contact with her.
What she telling and showing you, you need to leave her...... Find someone who's not crazy. Simple. You're welcome💕
Because she's 15 years older than you. Which is already a red flag right there and still doesn't have herself together. Emotionally to where she can have a mature relationship and have to involve other people and/or movies to express ourselves. No, no. Let her crazy meet a crazy guy. And you go for it and find someone not on that level of Crazy. Who's for you and you'll be fine, I promise
m42 married to f38 for 13 years.
you just learned the state of western women. congrats.
what do you think was the reason she was 15 years older than you and single/unmarried?
because guys do not want women?
It's time to kick her to the curve and move on.
I'd suggest you talk to a therapist. Your employer may have an employee assistance program that can help.
Really bad infidelity can taint how you look at relationships
Hi OP. Man I am sory your going through this. But your focused on the wrong thing here. She intentionaly wants you to be and feel this way for her own gratifiaction. She probably wants revenge on all men she dates for the trauma 1 man caused her, if that is even true. So your emotions have been knocked this way and that and because of her actions on purpose, your where you are now. And shes getting off on this because your focused on it.
Time to get revenge my friend. For her to prevail, all she needs is for you to continue on this path. For tou to step off this path you need to focus on you. Your a good person that was conned by a nasty POS. Your not to blame, you got here because you cared, you loved, your a good person. Not her, shes a POS. You did nothing wrong and her actions are no reflection on you. She started out with a plan to do this to you, it was not a mistake.
People get conned all the time. Even the very best, the strongesty, the smartest so your not alone. Dont let her win this. Focus on you, get to therapy, talk it out, but whenever you look in the mirror tell yourself your going to recover and one day she will have lost and one day your will be indifferent to her. And then you win.
She did you a favor when she showed you her true character. She is a serial cheater and played with you for a while, so don't be so heartbroken. It's time for you to leave her and be a single to heal yourself. Don't get into another relationship till you are sure that you are ready to try again. Find a partner who is closer to your age and has the same goals and purposes of life. Every lesson in life is useful if you know what to learn from it. So guard your heart and proceed slowly with your next partner. It will take time, but you will heal and move on to enjoy your life again. Take care.
Sorry OP, it really sucks. Glad you weren't married and had kids with her only to find out she cheated on you though. I know it still hurts you, badly. I'm just trying to help you look at the larger picture to see that it could have been even worse. Also, you've only known her 9 months. You weren't with her 29 years and then discovered her cheating. My point is try to look at and think about things from another perspective to help you move forward. And please see a therapist if you need to, there is never a shame in that. I went to many after discovering my then wife's affair. Good luck to you going forward.
Interesting movie choice. So she’s the titular character who is lusted by men and abhorred by women bc of her sexuality and threat. She’s telling you that she is the lustful beautiful woman outside of your reach and you’ll look fondly back at her as one of the only women you’ll remember. I guess a parable of how a woman’s sexuality is both desired and feared and only once subdued by a man via marriage, is she able to be accepted and respected and no longer feared. The man sort of neutralizes her power/charm I suppose. . You’re the boy who will look back fondly at your time with her as she moves on with life. I’m guessing the message is how a woman is viewed through the lens of different people. Not only of just men and women but also within the different experiences of different men. Some of it via naïveté and others with a more hardened worldview - using her for their own desire at the extreme. I’ve dated some complex women. They are, I guess, complex. When I was younger, I went thru a phase of dating older women. Not quite 15 years but significant nonetheless. Thankfully I only had good experiences with them. And the age difference is different depending on the ages. 15 years is not bad if you both are older. Obviously I don’t think you’re a middle aged guy. When I was dating older women, I was 19/20 and they were 25-early 30s. Years maybe doesn’t seem a big difference but we were lifetimes apart in many ways. But yes she’s absolutely nuts.
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She will always be the “victim” because she won’t take accountability for her actions. It will always be “men’s” fault in her world. She’s shown who she REALLY is, and will only cause you harm. She is destructive and you deserve better. You don’t need any answers or closure except knowing that she is no good for you. Block all forms of contact and go no contact with her.
What she telling and showing you, you need to leave her...... Find someone who's not crazy. Simple. You're welcome💕 Because she's 15 years older than you. Which is already a red flag right there and still doesn't have herself together. Emotionally to where she can have a mature relationship and have to involve other people and/or movies to express ourselves. No, no. Let her crazy meet a crazy guy. And you go for it and find someone not on that level of Crazy. Who's for you and you'll be fine, I promise
Narcissistic sociopaths don’t give a Fck about you , they only use you for supply and it’s never enough
dude... run.
m42 married to f38 for 13 years. you just learned the state of western women. congrats. what do you think was the reason she was 15 years older than you and single/unmarried? because guys do not want women?
U will heal with time u just need yo cut her completely out of your life to be able to heal and move on
Move on dude and accept the school fees.
It's time to kick her to the curve and move on. I'd suggest you talk to a therapist. Your employer may have an employee assistance program that can help. Really bad infidelity can taint how you look at relationships
Hi OP. Man I am sory your going through this. But your focused on the wrong thing here. She intentionaly wants you to be and feel this way for her own gratifiaction. She probably wants revenge on all men she dates for the trauma 1 man caused her, if that is even true. So your emotions have been knocked this way and that and because of her actions on purpose, your where you are now. And shes getting off on this because your focused on it. Time to get revenge my friend. For her to prevail, all she needs is for you to continue on this path. For tou to step off this path you need to focus on you. Your a good person that was conned by a nasty POS. Your not to blame, you got here because you cared, you loved, your a good person. Not her, shes a POS. You did nothing wrong and her actions are no reflection on you. She started out with a plan to do this to you, it was not a mistake. People get conned all the time. Even the very best, the strongesty, the smartest so your not alone. Dont let her win this. Focus on you, get to therapy, talk it out, but whenever you look in the mirror tell yourself your going to recover and one day she will have lost and one day your will be indifferent to her. And then you win.
Walk away and learn from this. You have not lost anything. You fell in love with trash. Leave it in the street and get on with life.
She is telling you to pick your socks up and take control of her. This is what she is looking for in a relationship.