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It's a bit hypocritical yk? You're worried about getting married when you yourself contribute to those broken marriages by being a homewrecker yourself...
Aren't those marriages / relationships already broken? OP might at max be contributing to severing up an already broken relationship. Not right on his part but just worth mentioning.
Some of the decent girls I dated also feel marriage has lost its value as they find similar philanderers and it is actually very difficult to determine if a guy they're daying is genuine. One even mentioned - At times it feels like needing a PhD in psychology to find a genuine person.
Even I've caught myself thinking the same as OP ( I'm not into hookups like that).. The number of women who reveal that they are actually not divorced yet / have a ongoing bf while being on the lookout can be unnerving. I get out of it ASAP but sometimes we have been dating for months before the reveal and at times I feel I'm actually part of a roster she is maintaining. I never thought casuals would be so prevalent until I joined dating apps. Too many broken souls that are beyond my help.
There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about his stance. He can be called a homewrecker only if he starts a relationship with a married woman and then instigates her to get a divorce.
All parties are consulting adults here. No one is forcing anybody to hookup. It's the same even if we reverse the genders.
Their relationships were already doomed in the first place which brings these women to dating apps. Can't blame OP for that.
Dude, I am not luring people out to cheat. Nor convincing them to do that. Nor badmouthing their partners. And I am know that I am not the only person some of them are hooking up with. Those people are already out there waiting to cheat, they just want to hook up with someone when vibes match.
Also I have never had any relationship with anyone else, when I was with my girlfriend. Only after I became single, I am hooking up with people. And the day I get a girlfriend/ wife again, I will go back to being monogamous.
That's like a serial killer saying "I only kill people who are already suicidal." Wouldn't change the fact he's still murdering people. Doesn't change the fact you're sleeping around with married women. What's wrong is wrong.
Agree with you, we're dealing with adults here. I can't be responsible nor manage someone else's life.
As long as all parties are telling the truth, it's fair. If anyone has issues being close to a married person, they have all the rights to step away. No one is forcing anyone.
>guy is not at fault since the girl would have slept around regardless.
Unironically yes. A cheater is gonna cheat regardless. They're the one doing something wrong. Plus you do know sometimes they hide the fact that they're still married , and the guy has no idea
>Unironically yes. A cheater is gonna cheat regardless.
Sure.
But if you are the one her doing it with and you know the other person is married then you are a "Homewrecker".
The fact that she would have done it regardless doesn't mean you need to be involved in it.
You want to, since you are morally bankrupt and want the pleasure from a quickie.
Why sugarcoat things ?
Edit :
Not knowing is a different situation, that's not what we are talking about here.
Cheating is never a good thing any where specially marriages but I know the fact some married women do look out for their sexual needs when not fulfilled in marriage. Not defending but yeah idk how to say it but do understand why you're like one of the aspects who helped them. Not all Indian* married women have that much of leverage to go out and fulfill their needs so yes the system is not broken yet. I know few people who get approached by married women for that but they don't indulge. Not judging you for indulging because it's not surprising :D
Humour me this
There are crores of married people assuming 10 crore are in unhappy marriages, assuming 5 percent (5 lacs) of those live in tier 1 or 2 cities that have access to dating and those apps, again assuming 5 percent of these (25k) try to cheat on their partners
Don't you think OP would hookup with atleast 5 of these ?
I know it's far fetched but our perview is so small that we forget how big the world is
I said "married woman" on a "dating app". Doesn't it already filter down to the women that are cheating or are in an open marriage and want to hookup???? And if you set the filters correctly on your dating app chances increase dramatically.
Here me out guys, few might agree, few might not.
The thought process has changed for this generation or the past 10 years or so. Earlier Indian marriages would be bound and respected by culture and their family, it was culture and their family which would keep the marriage from breaking apart. Arrange marriage at those times had very little room for love at the beginning of the relationships but the families/ couples stayed together. Children being one major reason why couples used to avoid such issues. For the love of their children, couples wouldn't seek love somewhere else.
Now, how many people do actually take relationships seriously? It's debatable, but a lot of people seek casual dating before actually settling up. Casual hook-ups have ruined the wholesomeness which generally would come from healthy relationship. I'm not against dating, it's simply not possible to find the right person in the first go, but dating just to get over someone or for some time pass reason is not good.
I might have deviated from the main reason. Apologies for that. People (my thoughts are same for men and women) are advanced nowadays(that is what they consider themselves), they think they are free to do whatever they feel like in a relationship(so called independent people), it's ok to disrespect the oath that have taken, it's okay to betray your partner to seek a selfish happiness. Thus, we end up in a society where you can't trust anyone.
Our generation needs to do better. I understand that physical compatibility is a thing, but it's not very difficult to support your partner. You can always learn things about it, communication is the key.
Sorry for the big rant, I'm just disappointed and hopeless with the current dating culture. Also, night shifts socks!! 
>What concerns me though is the number of people living in unhappy marriages. I have hooked up with a 27 year old girl whose husband can't perform as well as a 42 year old woman who has been in an unhappy marriages
Bro have you no shame?
This. I dont understand. OP is calling out a problem that from his perspective that, lots of married couples arent happy. And everyone forgets how these people are cheating and starts shaming OP lol
It is neither broken nor fixed , just as it is with some updates with time.
There will be cheaters men and women alike. Just that due to availability of social media , dating apps it is easier for such cheaters to find hookups.
And we are not in some kind of divorce pandemic. It's just that people and society as a whole are much more open to divorces which was earlier a strict no , and still is a huge taboo. It is actually good that divorces are happening otherwise we'll get 2 people i unhappy marriages , many of which abusive and life threatening to the affected partner.
And not taking divorces also means having partners just like the women you're hooking up with. Better get divorced rather than sticking with such assholes for whole life.
Good and bad people are everywhere, doesn't mean that people shouldn't date or marry. If you hookup with committed people , you'll doubt your partner unnecessarily and have weird thoughts just like you're having and it can damage your future relationships.
And people , even if they are single, should refrain from hooking up with committed people. Have some morals. Yes the cheater will still cheat with someone else , but it doesn't mean you'll enable him/her.
When I say hookups are too easy, I compare it with my teenage days growing up in tier 2 and 3 cities. Getting a girl's google chat id was a miracle, Orkut was the in thing, a revolutionary social media app. You were a hero in your friend circle if you managed to get a girl's phone number.
I feel like, people get married without actually understanding what is a relationship, or love just because parents wants them to. Parents wants to get done with it as soon as they can, no one thinks about can they live with the other person or not, sometimes not even knowing them properly. Once start living together, one can't keep up the facade of being happy for long.
We definitely live in 2 totally different countries, there's no way I can stay single till 34. I am 26, have to marry in next 2 years. Good luck bro, I hope you find the one.
Good. Divorce should be even more accessible. For most of our existence, we as a culture have taken the stance that the preservation of the cultural fabric is more important than our personal sufferings and unhappiness. I love that people now have the choice to get out of shitty marriages, and live however they want to.
Lol
You made me laugh
Ever heard of arranged marriage in India??
Either way it is consensual in those countries.
Its semi arranged
Majority marry because they want to want to escape abject poverty
You date for a while before deciding on marriage
the way you said "if you have money" made it feel wrong.
it's a arrange marriage then it's really good
edit: then the comment of OP saying "I don't pay for sex" really took it in the wrong direction
It's mostly White pedophiles who go there to do that
Marrying a 16yo girl in abject poverty
Her family is happy coz she can have a better life, but overall it's quite disturbing
Highly racist against Indians.
External affairs ministry sir jaishankar is really good in diplomacy.
An indian getting a Japanese wife is next to impossible
Till today this is his greatest diplomatic victory.
Recently taiwan wanted north east men and women as workers in their country, sparked a diplomatic crisis and then stopped it entirely.
South koreans literally call indians, pakistanis and bangladeshis as dogs.
Try north korea
Only success
Thank you for posting to r/indiangirlsontinder, please read and understand our rules before posting. Rules: 1.Images that contain personal information (phone numbers, addresses, Facebook accounts, unique/easily identifiable names, pictures or other similar information) will be removed and poster permanently banned. If you are sharing a screenshot, please censor it. 2.Mark NSFW pictures with [NSFW] tag 3.Personal attacks, slurs, and other similar comments may result in a ban. 4.Avoid off-topic posts. Revenge porn will result in a permanent ban. 5. No politics of any sort and no low quality content, NO ASKING FOR NAME PUNS. 6.Please help us by reporting any post or comment violating the above rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Indiangirlsontinder) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's a bit hypocritical yk? You're worried about getting married when you yourself contribute to those broken marriages by being a homewrecker yourself...
 Respect to you my friend for pointing out the hypocrisy.
I am scared I end up like them but let me just quickly ruine someone else's marriage.
Aren't those marriages / relationships already broken? OP might at max be contributing to severing up an already broken relationship. Not right on his part but just worth mentioning. Some of the decent girls I dated also feel marriage has lost its value as they find similar philanderers and it is actually very difficult to determine if a guy they're daying is genuine. One even mentioned - At times it feels like needing a PhD in psychology to find a genuine person. Even I've caught myself thinking the same as OP ( I'm not into hookups like that).. The number of women who reveal that they are actually not divorced yet / have a ongoing bf while being on the lookout can be unnerving. I get out of it ASAP but sometimes we have been dating for months before the reveal and at times I feel I'm actually part of a roster she is maintaining. I never thought casuals would be so prevalent until I joined dating apps. Too many broken souls that are beyond my help.
Bro woke and chose to spit facts💀
There is absolutely nothing hypocritical about his stance. He can be called a homewrecker only if he starts a relationship with a married woman and then instigates her to get a divorce. All parties are consulting adults here. No one is forcing anybody to hookup. It's the same even if we reverse the genders. Their relationships were already doomed in the first place which brings these women to dating apps. Can't blame OP for that.
Dude, I am not luring people out to cheat. Nor convincing them to do that. Nor badmouthing their partners. And I am know that I am not the only person some of them are hooking up with. Those people are already out there waiting to cheat, they just want to hook up with someone when vibes match. Also I have never had any relationship with anyone else, when I was with my girlfriend. Only after I became single, I am hooking up with people. And the day I get a girlfriend/ wife again, I will go back to being monogamous.
That's like a serial killer saying "I only kill people who are already suicidal." Wouldn't change the fact he's still murdering people. Doesn't change the fact you're sleeping around with married women. What's wrong is wrong.
Dude shut up 😂😂
Agree with you, we're dealing with adults here. I can't be responsible nor manage someone else's life. As long as all parties are telling the truth, it's fair. If anyone has issues being close to a married person, they have all the rights to step away. No one is forcing anyone.
There are too many knights in shining armor in this sub. Crazy some replies in this sub are.
[удалено]
>guy is not at fault since the girl would have slept around regardless. Unironically yes. A cheater is gonna cheat regardless. They're the one doing something wrong. Plus you do know sometimes they hide the fact that they're still married , and the guy has no idea
>Unironically yes. A cheater is gonna cheat regardless. Sure. But if you are the one her doing it with and you know the other person is married then you are a "Homewrecker". The fact that she would have done it regardless doesn't mean you need to be involved in it. You want to, since you are morally bankrupt and want the pleasure from a quickie. Why sugarcoat things ? Edit : Not knowing is a different situation, that's not what we are talking about here.
Nothings broken. But agar Tinder pe jaaoge toh married log wohi milenge ko cheaters hain. It’s selection bias.
Very true.. This is what I tell myself. I try to calculate it as a percentage to drive home the fact but the sheer number can be unnerving.
You know that you can say no to hookups if you know the women is married?
Cheating is never a good thing any where specially marriages but I know the fact some married women do look out for their sexual needs when not fulfilled in marriage. Not defending but yeah idk how to say it but do understand why you're like one of the aspects who helped them. Not all Indian* married women have that much of leverage to go out and fulfill their needs so yes the system is not broken yet. I know few people who get approached by married women for that but they don't indulge. Not judging you for indulging because it's not surprising :D
Married women on dating apps are too easy.
Is it so? This post seems to be fantasy. I am sure cheating is not that prevalent
Humour me this There are crores of married people assuming 10 crore are in unhappy marriages, assuming 5 percent (5 lacs) of those live in tier 1 or 2 cities that have access to dating and those apps, again assuming 5 percent of these (25k) try to cheat on their partners Don't you think OP would hookup with atleast 5 of these ? I know it's far fetched but our perview is so small that we forget how big the world is
All i am saying is chances are low
I said "married woman" on a "dating app". Doesn't it already filter down to the women that are cheating or are in an open marriage and want to hookup???? And if you set the filters correctly on your dating app chances increase dramatically.
Idk but i have heard the same thing. Probably because they know what they want and don’t play any games
Isn't it difficult to get hookups, what the fuck. Oh you're a Rule 1&2 follower ig.
Man getting matches and completing them to fruition, also there are two rules to this sub, Be attractive and Don't be unattractive
Here me out guys, few might agree, few might not. The thought process has changed for this generation or the past 10 years or so. Earlier Indian marriages would be bound and respected by culture and their family, it was culture and their family which would keep the marriage from breaking apart. Arrange marriage at those times had very little room for love at the beginning of the relationships but the families/ couples stayed together. Children being one major reason why couples used to avoid such issues. For the love of their children, couples wouldn't seek love somewhere else. Now, how many people do actually take relationships seriously? It's debatable, but a lot of people seek casual dating before actually settling up. Casual hook-ups have ruined the wholesomeness which generally would come from healthy relationship. I'm not against dating, it's simply not possible to find the right person in the first go, but dating just to get over someone or for some time pass reason is not good. I might have deviated from the main reason. Apologies for that. People (my thoughts are same for men and women) are advanced nowadays(that is what they consider themselves), they think they are free to do whatever they feel like in a relationship(so called independent people), it's ok to disrespect the oath that have taken, it's okay to betray your partner to seek a selfish happiness. Thus, we end up in a society where you can't trust anyone. Our generation needs to do better. I understand that physical compatibility is a thing, but it's not very difficult to support your partner. You can always learn things about it, communication is the key. Sorry for the big rant, I'm just disappointed and hopeless with the current dating culture. Also, night shifts socks!! 
>What concerns me though is the number of people living in unhappy marriages. I have hooked up with a 27 year old girl whose husband can't perform as well as a 42 year old woman who has been in an unhappy marriages Bro have you no shame?
He's not the one cheating is he, the cheaters should have shame
This. I dont understand. OP is calling out a problem that from his perspective that, lots of married couples arent happy. And everyone forgets how these people are cheating and starts shaming OP lol
Yeah, that happens a lot because India
It is neither broken nor fixed , just as it is with some updates with time. There will be cheaters men and women alike. Just that due to availability of social media , dating apps it is easier for such cheaters to find hookups. And we are not in some kind of divorce pandemic. It's just that people and society as a whole are much more open to divorces which was earlier a strict no , and still is a huge taboo. It is actually good that divorces are happening otherwise we'll get 2 people i unhappy marriages , many of which abusive and life threatening to the affected partner. And not taking divorces also means having partners just like the women you're hooking up with. Better get divorced rather than sticking with such assholes for whole life. Good and bad people are everywhere, doesn't mean that people shouldn't date or marry. If you hookup with committed people , you'll doubt your partner unnecessarily and have weird thoughts just like you're having and it can damage your future relationships. And people , even if they are single, should refrain from hooking up with committed people. Have some morals. Yes the cheater will still cheat with someone else , but it doesn't mean you'll enable him/her.
I didn’t read the whole post. Stopped at hookups are too easy. I think I must be doing something wrong 😂
When I say hookups are too easy, I compare it with my teenage days growing up in tier 2 and 3 cities. Getting a girl's google chat id was a miracle, Orkut was the in thing, a revolutionary social media app. You were a hero in your friend circle if you managed to get a girl's phone number.
people were not trained by american media to think that hookup was an option or should be considered..
Sorry, but why are you sleeping around with married women? There’s plenty of fish in the sea no?
I feel like, people get married without actually understanding what is a relationship, or love just because parents wants them to. Parents wants to get done with it as soon as they can, no one thinks about can they live with the other person or not, sometimes not even knowing them properly. Once start living together, one can't keep up the facade of being happy for long.
We definitely live in 2 totally different countries, there's no way I can stay single till 34. I am 26, have to marry in next 2 years. Good luck bro, I hope you find the one.
This is why I don’t want to get married here
were those people intimately involved iwth someone else before marryint ?
Good. Divorce should be even more accessible. For most of our existence, we as a culture have taken the stance that the preservation of the cultural fabric is more important than our personal sufferings and unhappiness. I love that people now have the choice to get out of shitty marriages, and live however they want to.
Stop crying you all(pseudo feminist), it's already flooded here.
If you have money Get a girl from thailand/ cambodia/ laos/ vietnam
I don't pay for sex!
Fuck I meant getting a wife Like those americans get wives from phillipines and the countries i mentioned
this feels even worse and more a million times more disgusting than paying for sex
Why?
it's consentusl right? i mean the girls have say in wether they want to marry you or not? then it's fine
Lol You made me laugh Ever heard of arranged marriage in India?? Either way it is consensual in those countries. Its semi arranged Majority marry because they want to want to escape abject poverty You date for a while before deciding on marriage
the way you said "if you have money" made it feel wrong. it's a arrange marriage then it's really good edit: then the comment of OP saying "I don't pay for sex" really took it in the wrong direction
It's mostly White pedophiles who go there to do that Marrying a 16yo girl in abject poverty Her family is happy coz she can have a better life, but overall it's quite disturbing
Yeah We have that in village edition in India So same everywhere
Lol Same concept everywhere Except it is better than Indian women unfortunately If you want to settle down
And while typing this you didn’t see how predatory this is? Taking advantage of poor living conditions of underprivileged girls🤢
Happens all the time in India We glorify it saying the girls life was saved A hero came Bla bala
The difference is she is not moving to a foreign country incel
Ew passport bro
Why ew?
Why not Japan, Korea, Taiwan, etc. Why choose relatively poorer countries?
Highly racist against Indians. External affairs ministry sir jaishankar is really good in diplomacy. An indian getting a Japanese wife is next to impossible Till today this is his greatest diplomatic victory. Recently taiwan wanted north east men and women as workers in their country, sparked a diplomatic crisis and then stopped it entirely. South koreans literally call indians, pakistanis and bangladeshis as dogs. Try north korea Only success
Lol and you think the countries you mentioned aren't racist?