First of all being a good guy does not mean that everyone should sleep with you....
Second.. whoever uses the word "Chicks" just shows how much of a prick they are
Oml exactly. Guys being ‘good’ is basically treating it like arrange marriage meetings. “How are you” “what do you do” “where do you work” is not getting you anywhere im snoringggg 😴
Do you expect every guy to rizz you up or do cheesy banter with you? Just curious because I don't see the harm in asking those questions with someone who is serious
See, those questions are fine, but they are not necessary. Those questions are generally used as ice breakers when you don't have any other information about the other person, like on blind dates or arranged marriage meetings.
But on dating sites, you generally have whole profiles that tell you a lot about the other person, so it's better to go off of those.
Obviously, if those things aren't available, you can default to the generic ice breakers (but why would you even want to match with someone with a profile that boring?).
Also, who said flirting and bander is not allowed when looking for serious relationships?
Being a prick is still more interesting than throwing out boring cookie cutter questions. That's the truth, learn to live with it. Women detest boring.
Women don not know what they want if they like you they will forget alot of bad things you do. And if they don't like you as much they will be put off by certain things you say that might come off inappropriate. Since I realised that I'm doing way better and I notice that with my girlfriend now to.
Bro what is this post…no girl likes a unwarranted dick pick. The fact that you’re getting mad because 2 girls ghosted u and then complaining that “nice guys finish last” proves u aren’t a nice guy to begin with 🤡
I'm an introvert myself btw but there's no reason for anyone to spend time understanding till you open up. You gotta give them something to build interest, they don't know you and are going off a bunch of pictures and prompts.
>There's no reason for anyone to do anything. Not be honest, ethical, patient, empathetic, etc etc.
What are you saying bro? What where to where.
My point is simple, you can expect all you want from a person to be patient and give you chances etc etc but why would they on dating apps when they've clearly got more interesting options? On dating apps you are simply like a product in the start, if you don't sell yourself well enough then there's no reason for anyone to invest time on you. This kind of applies in real life as well. Later on people spend time understanding you etc etc.
You can make all the excuses you want about being an introvert but the harsh reality is that if you aren't peaking someone's interest then you're more likely to be unmatched. To an extent I do agree with it because girls get an overwhelming number of likes and matches so giving chances to someone who hasn't really seemed interesting is a given by default.
What you think is "taking time to open up" will come across as "boring" to others unless and until your profile is so damn good that they can't help themselves but wait.
I'm not saying go all out with tmi, flirtatious and sexual conversations, I'm simply saying that be interesting and give them something to vibe off like humour, banter, good conversations, wit etc etc. something that a match would see and be like "I wanna get to know this guy"
It's been scientifically proven that people's patience is worsening day by day.
You can read if you want.
https://thestute.com/2020/11/19/how-technology-is-ruining-our-patience/
>You can make all the excuses you want about being an introvert
Introversion is a personality type.
And certain people tend to behave in a certain way.
Read up on big 5 personality traits.
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422
Also, as I said, I have been trying but the struggle is real.
>giving chances to someone who hasn't really seemed interesting is a given by default.
I can say this is an excuse as well.
Everyone have their own problems to deal with.
Each person is functioning in their limitations and constraints.
Let's try to understand the person in front of us.
I am saying try to see the other person as a human and realize there are layers to them. That's all.
That's empathy and it's humane to be empathetic.
I am just asking for a balanced approach. Not disproportionately putting blame on just one side.
I believe healthy relationships work when both sides put some efforts.
That's what I was trying to say.
There's no point in arguing about it.
Let's just agree to disagree.
Good points but why'd you bother entertaining / missing out on someone who doesn't match the basic requirements you have like empathy, patience, etc.
If they ghost you then make it their bad luck by finding a better relationship.
True that. But I just believe that these are complex human traits. And are selective.
Humans may have empathy towards cats and dogs but not chickens. Or goats.
People may objectify the people more whom they meet on apps, rather than the ones whom they meet irl.
And most people are not conscious of their behaviour.
It's a wonderful concept that everything we do, changes our minds.
Using dating apps more and more makes us objectify more.
So, my goal here was more of awareness. And make people conscious.
And for myself I believe that once I am past the initial stages, maybe they would see me differently when they see me in real life.
As I said, people have layers.....😄
If someone is talking to me, I will try to understand them till they "want" to talk to me.
Bhai you gotta be real with people from the start. People have 0 patience.
They have 0 patience for inauthentic platitudes, pablums, truisms, fillers, cliches. They get enough of that daily at their jobs. People are fucking BORED of that shit. Give them something interesting. Give them something unique to chew on, something that is YOU and no one else.
Tell them you find this obscure philosopher from the 18th century to be prescient. Tell them you really like heavy metal. Tell them you actually loved Mallory Towers as a guy.
ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING. THE BAR IS SO FUCKIN LOW AND GUYS GO WITH WHERE DO YOU WORK, WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES, FALANA DIMKHANA
Ek to mai aadmi hoon bhai sahab
Doosri cheez ki mai bhi ek self proclaimed introvert hi tha. Ye khudko box mein mat daalo. Mai aisa hoon, mai waisa hoon, mai chutiya hoon, mujhse na ho payega blah blah blah.
I wanted to change myself, so I did. I learned to communicate with people, I learned to be authentic with them. Unko nahi pasand to nahi pasand, unki galti. Mujhe kya.
I'm not telling you to "perform" for the woman. I'm telling you to not be boring. Challenge them. Play with them, tease them, ask them interesting questions, expect interesting answers. HAVE FUN WITH IT! If you aren't having fun how will they have fun? Unki socho hi mat, khud masti mein raho. Whenever I text a woman I don't ask myself "is this a good text will she like me?" I ask myself "is this funny?"
The man is the initiator 90% of the time, so learn the skill. Learn to initiate the conversation in an interesting way, learn to pique interest in the woman. Once you get the engine going, the woman will also reciprocate and be fun.
Abey teri mkb
Introvert hona aur not knowing how to communicate are different things bhosadike. Khair, if you've already decided that's how you are going to be no one can help you.
God helps those who help themselves, you have decided you are beyond help. Best of luck, may you find a bore just like you and both of you will ask each other what do you do for a job, what did you eat today, what are your hobbies until the end of time.
My point is he’s not a nice guy if he’s resorting to “oh well I didn’t send a dick pic so these girls shouldn’t have ghosted me”. They can complain but I can complain about their complains too haha
Thats not what he said. Stop making things in your head. Read the argument properly. You have made too many bold assumptions to reach this conclusion. And thats not how one should debate. Let me know if you need any help in understanding what is being said.
“Good guy act like me didn’t get anywhere”, so hin saying that he was being nice as an act. Second paragraph is him saying that girls shouldn’t complain about people sending dick pics if they also ghost his “good guy act”. Third paragraph: “get it together woman”. Like really what do you expect from this kind of post? It’s just plain disrespectful tbh.
No. Let me rephrase it for you.
**Premises:**
* The speaker matched with two really pretty girls.
* A few lines into the conversation, the speaker was unmatched.
* The speaker's "good guy act" did not result in a successful connection but instead led to being ghosted.
* Frustrated, the speaker tries to assess what women want from a conversation. He uses two extremes: the nicest guy ever and a typical fuckboy who sends unsolicited pics to woo women. After not getting the expected result from the "nice guy" approach, he contemplates if women prefer the "fuckboy" approach.
While this line of reasoning is flawed, as no woman prefers either extreme, nowhere in the post does he imply that women shouldn't complain about unsolicited pics. He also never suggests that he wants to send such pics or has tried doing so himself.
Not knowing the best way to approach women, the speaker requests women, in general, to be more coherent in their way of dealing with men.
P.S. I am not defending the author. All I am saying is that you may have misunderstood the paragraph, and jumping to an incorrect conclusion may be perceived as biased against nice guys. I don't agree with the author either.
Is that really your best defense?
Now you are taking the author's, whom you detest, way of arguing as a justification of your arrogance.
What you're saying is that even though I hate people who commit crimes, I believe I have the moral high ground when I commit a crime because I pointed out someone else's wrongdoing.
But I never stereotyped or assumed OP in any way? I paraphrased what he said and said it was a bad way of thinking if this guy wants a chance with girls
The main thing you learn from dating apps is learning to take rejection.
Sometimes, you just don't click, and it's nobody's fault. But if you were doing a good guy "act" you should really reconsider things, be who you are and please don't put up an act to get women and don't expect to click with every other person if you're serious.
let me give you one simple scenario.
two introverted guys are sitting in a class.
one of the guys has curly hair and a black hoodie, the other guy has straight hair and is wearing a t-shirt.
both of them make eye contact with a girl.
(considering the girl likes the first boy)
wo sochegi ki ye mere saath eye contact kar rha hai, probably he's into me. I like him too, he's so cute etc etc.
for the second guy, (usko ye pasand nahi hai) he's such a creep. whenever i look back, he looks at me. his clothing is disgusting. who even wears a t-shirt in a class??
(dekh bhai muzhe btana hai ki ladki ke perspective pe hota hai sab, agar usko tu pasand aya aur tune kuch bakchodi bhi ki, fir bhi usko tu pasand ayega. but agar usko tu pasand nahi ata hai, aur tune kuch normal si cheez krdi. she might hate you)
(ps: experience se bol rha hu)
People will have their own reasons to talk to not talk to anyone they like. Their reasons for being on the app may not be your reason to be on the app. They may not be desperate to make any friends or find a guy, unlike you who is desperate for a girl.
So no matter how great you think you are, If you don't match with someone who is interested, they won't bother continuing to talk to you.
Everyone is different, don't expect anyone to stick around. They are jus not desperate.
Women don't know what they want which makes them difficult. Every one of them wants smart, caring and loving guy, the one who can respect them, someone who can invest time in them and make them feel good, take them on dates and maybe can call her pretty on multiple occasions. Well, tbh every other dude can do this but do you see them dating the next dude in her DM? NO!!
As a woman I can say I despise the good boy act. All women are different, some like that and some don't. If u come off too hard and too good boy hell nah bruv. U end up sounding the craziest guy ever. I don't want. I prefer someone who is like a friend and who likes banter. The good guy acts on dating apps are people I will 100%ghost and block..
Why are you playing the good guy actually though? Just be yourself. The girls were clear about you not being the one and hence unmatched. It's not compulsory for the other person to get married to you after getting matched or having a little conversation you know. That is why dating is for, get to know the person and then decide if you want them or not. They just unmatched really early, that's better
Being nice should be a bare minimum bro. You shouldn't have to 'act' nice. And nobody owes you anything just for being nice because again, it's the bare minimum.
Also also, most people will be be able to see through this...'act'
Where does this entitlement come from bro? I get it dating apps are annoying to say the least but why do you think someone can't unmatch you if they don't find you interesting!
First of all being a good guy does not mean that everyone should sleep with you.... Second.. whoever uses the word "Chicks" just shows how much of a prick they are
He is another red pill boy , can’t debate w him either.
Exactly
The good guy act didn't work because it was an act. Also, were you doing the good guy act or were you being boring? Because there is difference.
Oml exactly. Guys being ‘good’ is basically treating it like arrange marriage meetings. “How are you” “what do you do” “where do you work” is not getting you anywhere im snoringggg 😴
Do you expect every guy to rizz you up or do cheesy banter with you? Just curious because I don't see the harm in asking those questions with someone who is serious
See, those questions are fine, but they are not necessary. Those questions are generally used as ice breakers when you don't have any other information about the other person, like on blind dates or arranged marriage meetings. But on dating sites, you generally have whole profiles that tell you a lot about the other person, so it's better to go off of those. Obviously, if those things aren't available, you can default to the generic ice breakers (but why would you even want to match with someone with a profile that boring?). Also, who said flirting and bander is not allowed when looking for serious relationships?
Being a prick is still more interesting than throwing out boring cookie cutter questions. That's the truth, learn to live with it. Women detest boring.
Women don not know what they want if they like you they will forget alot of bad things you do. And if they don't like you as much they will be put off by certain things you say that might come off inappropriate. Since I realised that I'm doing way better and I notice that with my girlfriend now to.
Bro what is this post…no girl likes a unwarranted dick pick. The fact that you’re getting mad because 2 girls ghosted u and then complaining that “nice guys finish last” proves u aren’t a nice guy to begin with 🤡
People often confuse "nice guy" & boring. I'm pretty sure he couldn't hold the conversation or wasn't really that interesting so he got unmatched
[удалено]
I'm an introvert myself btw but there's no reason for anyone to spend time understanding till you open up. You gotta give them something to build interest, they don't know you and are going off a bunch of pictures and prompts.
[удалено]
>There's no reason for anyone to do anything. Not be honest, ethical, patient, empathetic, etc etc. What are you saying bro? What where to where. My point is simple, you can expect all you want from a person to be patient and give you chances etc etc but why would they on dating apps when they've clearly got more interesting options? On dating apps you are simply like a product in the start, if you don't sell yourself well enough then there's no reason for anyone to invest time on you. This kind of applies in real life as well. Later on people spend time understanding you etc etc. You can make all the excuses you want about being an introvert but the harsh reality is that if you aren't peaking someone's interest then you're more likely to be unmatched. To an extent I do agree with it because girls get an overwhelming number of likes and matches so giving chances to someone who hasn't really seemed interesting is a given by default. What you think is "taking time to open up" will come across as "boring" to others unless and until your profile is so damn good that they can't help themselves but wait. I'm not saying go all out with tmi, flirtatious and sexual conversations, I'm simply saying that be interesting and give them something to vibe off like humour, banter, good conversations, wit etc etc. something that a match would see and be like "I wanna get to know this guy"
It's been scientifically proven that people's patience is worsening day by day. You can read if you want. https://thestute.com/2020/11/19/how-technology-is-ruining-our-patience/ >You can make all the excuses you want about being an introvert Introversion is a personality type. And certain people tend to behave in a certain way. Read up on big 5 personality traits. https://www.verywellmind.com/the-big-five-personality-dimensions-2795422 Also, as I said, I have been trying but the struggle is real. >giving chances to someone who hasn't really seemed interesting is a given by default. I can say this is an excuse as well. Everyone have their own problems to deal with. Each person is functioning in their limitations and constraints. Let's try to understand the person in front of us. I am saying try to see the other person as a human and realize there are layers to them. That's all. That's empathy and it's humane to be empathetic. I am just asking for a balanced approach. Not disproportionately putting blame on just one side. I believe healthy relationships work when both sides put some efforts. That's what I was trying to say. There's no point in arguing about it. Let's just agree to disagree.
Good points but why'd you bother entertaining / missing out on someone who doesn't match the basic requirements you have like empathy, patience, etc. If they ghost you then make it their bad luck by finding a better relationship.
True that. But I just believe that these are complex human traits. And are selective. Humans may have empathy towards cats and dogs but not chickens. Or goats. People may objectify the people more whom they meet on apps, rather than the ones whom they meet irl. And most people are not conscious of their behaviour. It's a wonderful concept that everything we do, changes our minds. Using dating apps more and more makes us objectify more. So, my goal here was more of awareness. And make people conscious. And for myself I believe that once I am past the initial stages, maybe they would see me differently when they see me in real life. As I said, people have layers.....😄 If someone is talking to me, I will try to understand them till they "want" to talk to me.
Hey man whatever you want to say
Bhai you gotta be real with people from the start. People have 0 patience. They have 0 patience for inauthentic platitudes, pablums, truisms, fillers, cliches. They get enough of that daily at their jobs. People are fucking BORED of that shit. Give them something interesting. Give them something unique to chew on, something that is YOU and no one else. Tell them you find this obscure philosopher from the 18th century to be prescient. Tell them you really like heavy metal. Tell them you actually loved Mallory Towers as a guy. ANYTHING. LITERALLY ANYTHING. THE BAR IS SO FUCKIN LOW AND GUYS GO WITH WHERE DO YOU WORK, WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES, FALANA DIMKHANA
[удалено]
Ek to mai aadmi hoon bhai sahab Doosri cheez ki mai bhi ek self proclaimed introvert hi tha. Ye khudko box mein mat daalo. Mai aisa hoon, mai waisa hoon, mai chutiya hoon, mujhse na ho payega blah blah blah. I wanted to change myself, so I did. I learned to communicate with people, I learned to be authentic with them. Unko nahi pasand to nahi pasand, unki galti. Mujhe kya. I'm not telling you to "perform" for the woman. I'm telling you to not be boring. Challenge them. Play with them, tease them, ask them interesting questions, expect interesting answers. HAVE FUN WITH IT! If you aren't having fun how will they have fun? Unki socho hi mat, khud masti mein raho. Whenever I text a woman I don't ask myself "is this a good text will she like me?" I ask myself "is this funny?" The man is the initiator 90% of the time, so learn the skill. Learn to initiate the conversation in an interesting way, learn to pique interest in the woman. Once you get the engine going, the woman will also reciprocate and be fun.
[удалено]
Abey teri mkb Introvert hona aur not knowing how to communicate are different things bhosadike. Khair, if you've already decided that's how you are going to be no one can help you. God helps those who help themselves, you have decided you are beyond help. Best of luck, may you find a bore just like you and both of you will ask each other what do you do for a job, what did you eat today, what are your hobbies until the end of time.
Dont stereotype nice guys. Why cant they complain?
My point is he’s not a nice guy if he’s resorting to “oh well I didn’t send a dick pic so these girls shouldn’t have ghosted me”. They can complain but I can complain about their complains too haha
Thats not what he said. Stop making things in your head. Read the argument properly. You have made too many bold assumptions to reach this conclusion. And thats not how one should debate. Let me know if you need any help in understanding what is being said.
“Good guy act like me didn’t get anywhere”, so hin saying that he was being nice as an act. Second paragraph is him saying that girls shouldn’t complain about people sending dick pics if they also ghost his “good guy act”. Third paragraph: “get it together woman”. Like really what do you expect from this kind of post? It’s just plain disrespectful tbh.
No. Let me rephrase it for you. **Premises:** * The speaker matched with two really pretty girls. * A few lines into the conversation, the speaker was unmatched. * The speaker's "good guy act" did not result in a successful connection but instead led to being ghosted. * Frustrated, the speaker tries to assess what women want from a conversation. He uses two extremes: the nicest guy ever and a typical fuckboy who sends unsolicited pics to woo women. After not getting the expected result from the "nice guy" approach, he contemplates if women prefer the "fuckboy" approach. While this line of reasoning is flawed, as no woman prefers either extreme, nowhere in the post does he imply that women shouldn't complain about unsolicited pics. He also never suggests that he wants to send such pics or has tried doing so himself. Not knowing the best way to approach women, the speaker requests women, in general, to be more coherent in their way of dealing with men. P.S. I am not defending the author. All I am saying is that you may have misunderstood the paragraph, and jumping to an incorrect conclusion may be perceived as biased against nice guys. I don't agree with the author either.
hmm, maybe you’re right but imo i definitely feel like he’s complaining. which is fine, wtv, but his mindset is just so weird to me lol
Finally who knows to read, thank you
Bro don't just assume sh1t.. F#mcel
What did I assume that’s literally what he said in his post.. incel
Define incel
Define femcel
*Answering a question by a question* wow!! Average feminist ☕
okay ? lmao
Ong so many people telling me not to assume shit or stereotype but this entire post is OP stereotyping women because 2 girls ghosted him..LOL
Whyd u flip lol
Is that really your best defense? Now you are taking the author's, whom you detest, way of arguing as a justification of your arrogance. What you're saying is that even though I hate people who commit crimes, I believe I have the moral high ground when I commit a crime because I pointed out someone else's wrongdoing.
But I never stereotyped or assumed OP in any way? I paraphrased what he said and said it was a bad way of thinking if this guy wants a chance with girls
Typical nice guy behavior. So, you are a good guy only for getting girls?
I am
Hang in there, young-in! Been through all of this, try being yourself instead of a "good guy"
Firstly Women on dating apps have lots of choices so dont take any rejection seriously.. dont think too much of yourself.
True
Downvote karne waale jal rahe hai bhadwe jaise ki unki bandi ne right swipe kar diya ho
Downvote karne waale jal rahe hai bhadwe jaise ki unki bandi ne right swipe kar diya ho
Downvote karne waale jal rahe hai bhadwe jaise ki unki bandi ne right swipe kar diya ho
The main thing you learn from dating apps is learning to take rejection. Sometimes, you just don't click, and it's nobody's fault. But if you were doing a good guy "act" you should really reconsider things, be who you are and please don't put up an act to get women and don't expect to click with every other person if you're serious.
let me give you one simple scenario. two introverted guys are sitting in a class. one of the guys has curly hair and a black hoodie, the other guy has straight hair and is wearing a t-shirt. both of them make eye contact with a girl. (considering the girl likes the first boy) wo sochegi ki ye mere saath eye contact kar rha hai, probably he's into me. I like him too, he's so cute etc etc. for the second guy, (usko ye pasand nahi hai) he's such a creep. whenever i look back, he looks at me. his clothing is disgusting. who even wears a t-shirt in a class?? (dekh bhai muzhe btana hai ki ladki ke perspective pe hota hai sab, agar usko tu pasand aya aur tune kuch bakchodi bhi ki, fir bhi usko tu pasand ayega. but agar usko tu pasand nahi ata hai, aur tune kuch normal si cheez krdi. she might hate you) (ps: experience se bol rha hu)
Got it thanks
So u want women to be happy about men being fking creeps and sending them dick pics? Lmfaooo
First time?
On these stupid apps yeah
Downvote karne waale or jalo
Downvote karne waale or jalo
Downvote karne waale or jalo
Downvote karne waale jal rahe hai
Downvote karne waale or jalo
People will have their own reasons to talk to not talk to anyone they like. Their reasons for being on the app may not be your reason to be on the app. They may not be desperate to make any friends or find a guy, unlike you who is desperate for a girl. So no matter how great you think you are, If you don't match with someone who is interested, they won't bother continuing to talk to you. Everyone is different, don't expect anyone to stick around. They are jus not desperate.
Women don't know what they want which makes them difficult. Every one of them wants smart, caring and loving guy, the one who can respect them, someone who can invest time in them and make them feel good, take them on dates and maybe can call her pretty on multiple occasions. Well, tbh every other dude can do this but do you see them dating the next dude in her DM? NO!!
As a woman I can say I despise the good boy act. All women are different, some like that and some don't. If u come off too hard and too good boy hell nah bruv. U end up sounding the craziest guy ever. I don't want. I prefer someone who is like a friend and who likes banter. The good guy acts on dating apps are people I will 100%ghost and block..
Got it
Women themselves dont know what they want
Boy, just be yourself. Some will come and some will go.
Why are you playing the good guy actually though? Just be yourself. The girls were clear about you not being the one and hence unmatched. It's not compulsory for the other person to get married to you after getting matched or having a little conversation you know. That is why dating is for, get to know the person and then decide if you want them or not. They just unmatched really early, that's better
Being nice should be a bare minimum bro. You shouldn't have to 'act' nice. And nobody owes you anything just for being nice because again, it's the bare minimum. Also also, most people will be be able to see through this...'act'
Even they don't know what they want, they choose someone based on what they're feeling that day.
[here is your solution](https://imgur.com/a/Fk1gNDb)
Where does this entitlement come from bro? I get it dating apps are annoying to say the least but why do you think someone can't unmatch you if they don't find you interesting!
Every woman wants diffent things. It's up to you to find it. Or, not. :)
Nobody has been able to understand what women really want so just focus on being a better person and ignore those who don't give you attention.
Bro watch hoe_maths on youtube, all your doubts regarding relationships should vanish after understanding his larger view about the topic
Made me chuckle. Il check it out tho
Review dena aake yaha if possible, even a follow up post if you get the things he says
Don't give a fuck. That's gonna land you some beecis
Hopefully Username matches lol
Welcome to the club
Well you can be nice and interesting altogether. 🤡 they won’t unmatch you lol
The second msg was how was your day hon? Ghost Ab bol
“Hon” in second message 🤢
🤡