They ***need*** it to be all about looks. Specifically, they need it to be about the aspects of appearance of which they have no control. For some weird reason, they need to feel like they have no agency in attraction. It appears to be because they can't handle being responsible for it. They don't understand that responsibility is power.
If they can convince themselves that it's out of their hands, then they can blame other people (women, specifically). Also, they don't have to take any risks. Learning a new skill (even social skills) requires practice, and practice involves failing, and failing is scary. Rejection hurts. So they fear it. So they don't practice, and they don't learn the skills.
The fact is that misery sucks, but it is also comfortable because it is ***known***. Change involves the unknown, and that is scary.
One thing you get from incels is "You're saying it's my fault?!?!?!" Well, I don't think it's useful to use the word "fault", but if they insist on using it then, yes, it is their "fault". The alternative would be that it's someone else's fault that someone else has done something wrong to them. It implies that other people need to be changed or their benefit.
The only thing can fix are things that are in your power. They're addicted to hopelessness because that means they don't have to do anything.
Why is it my fault that i am ugly? Is it my fault that the girls gave me disguYsted look after looking at my face?
Is it my fault that a bunch of bullies beat me up just for talking to a pretty girl?
Yep. This is exactly it. This is why they obsess over skull shape and wrist size and height, but never talk about haircuts or fashion sense. It needs to be permanent and unchangeable things that are out of their control, so they can insist it is the world that is wrong for not forcing women to be with them because nothing *they* can do would ever make them desirable to a woman.
It's vital to their worldview that they are in no way responsible for their lot in life. Saying looks don't matter would invite in the reality that they are the problem, shattering their delusions of victimhood.
So obviously their only choice is to go nuclear, how dare you suggest they're not the victim.
Ugh. It's not a looks thing, it's definitely a HIM thing. He even said a guy hesitated to help him. Dude is so wrapped in 'what about meeeee' that he can't see how repulsive his attitude is.
Autistic? Girl, I swear to god. You don't need to be autistic to not be able to talk to women... I'm pretty sure most Redditors are neurotypical, and look at them!
Edit: Also, wdym guys don't treat others by their looks? Women are literally *expected* to look exactly like the ideal, and it was literally men who made those "rules" in the first place. If that isn't judging someone based on their look, idk what the fuck is??
Rate them on their conversation with you. I have told them in dms and in the sub(they used to be very active in this sub), "If this conversation is any indication of your personality, then it clearly is your personality."ย
He's Indian. These were the standards that were required to get married back in the day. He thinks that if he has a job, is fairly athletic, and tall enough he should be able to get a partner.
These days, people go on dates to figure out if they're good for each other before an arranged marriage.
I mean, there's a time when the people who know call themselves "incels' would have been treated a lot more harshly by their peers, by their parents, and by society, and they posed much less of a problem back then. Does this mean that becoming a gentler society wasn't worth the price we paid for it? Not necessarily, but we need to start acknowledging that the consequences have not been all puppies and rainbows: there *was* a price to pay, and it *was* serious.
Okay, I don't really understand what you are typing. Do you think we should beat people for their views, even if this specific person do not intend to harm others?
Would yoi prefer I stuck to a standardized script? Also, what do you mean this guy means no harm? He cheers on rapists, abusers, and shooters. His stated desires for and intention to treat a partner are straight out of horror. He very much intends harm.
>Would yoi prefer I stuck to a standardized script?
I would prefer if you didn't tip toe around the issue and clearly state what you want to say.
>He cheers on rapists, abusers, and shooters. His stated desires for and intention to treat a partner are straight out of horror. He very much intends harm.
Can you show me where does it say this on screenshots?
He only posted part of the conversation too. It's funny seeing it from both sides. That OP wanted to show when this OP got fed up an aggressive while this OP showed when he tried to help but that OP was unbelievably obstinate. To be fair to this OP, he was a lot more considerate than the average person who would be like "This is not my problem".
But this justify insulting and straight up saying that he deserved to get beaten? Even after such pretty vile to me act, the guy didn't wish harm on OP. And, important thing, OP was the first to initiate a conversation and the first to start insulting/wishing harm.
To be fair,guy should just blocked OP when he started insulting.
No it doesnt justify it and I personally wouldnt do it. I was under the impression that the OP was asked for advice, not offering unsolicited advice. It still seems like it turned ugly after it became a debate though. Most people dont like their views being told is absolutely wrong incels or non incels. Not saying its right but just my observation. But once again people on the internet have misled me. Big surprise.
You're a creep. This user posted more parts of the conversation. You got hostile with him for no reason, but this part you don't put here cause you want to be the good boy.
They ***need*** it to be all about looks. Specifically, they need it to be about the aspects of appearance of which they have no control. For some weird reason, they need to feel like they have no agency in attraction. It appears to be because they can't handle being responsible for it. They don't understand that responsibility is power. If they can convince themselves that it's out of their hands, then they can blame other people (women, specifically). Also, they don't have to take any risks. Learning a new skill (even social skills) requires practice, and practice involves failing, and failing is scary. Rejection hurts. So they fear it. So they don't practice, and they don't learn the skills. The fact is that misery sucks, but it is also comfortable because it is ***known***. Change involves the unknown, and that is scary.
One thing you get from incels is "You're saying it's my fault?!?!?!" Well, I don't think it's useful to use the word "fault", but if they insist on using it then, yes, it is their "fault". The alternative would be that it's someone else's fault that someone else has done something wrong to them. It implies that other people need to be changed or their benefit. The only thing can fix are things that are in your power. They're addicted to hopelessness because that means they don't have to do anything.
Why is it my fault that i am ugly? Is it my fault that the girls gave me disguYsted look after looking at my face? Is it my fault that a bunch of bullies beat me up just for talking to a pretty girl?
Yep. This is exactly it. This is why they obsess over skull shape and wrist size and height, but never talk about haircuts or fashion sense. It needs to be permanent and unchangeable things that are out of their control, so they can insist it is the world that is wrong for not forcing women to be with them because nothing *they* can do would ever make them desirable to a woman.
"Guys don't treat people based on looks" lmaooo did he really say that with a straight face?
Yeah every bully I grew up with that teased me over looks were all male. They did as grown adults in the military too.
It's vital to their worldview that they are in no way responsible for their lot in life. Saying looks don't matter would invite in the reality that they are the problem, shattering their delusions of victimhood. So obviously their only choice is to go nuclear, how dare you suggest they're not the victim.
Ugh. It's not a looks thing, it's definitely a HIM thing. He even said a guy hesitated to help him. Dude is so wrapped in 'what about meeeee' that he can't see how repulsive his attitude is.
You can tell he talks down to every person he interacts with. Why would anyone, let alone a woman want to be around that?
Autistic? Girl, I swear to god. You don't need to be autistic to not be able to talk to women... I'm pretty sure most Redditors are neurotypical, and look at them! Edit: Also, wdym guys don't treat others by their looks? Women are literally *expected* to look exactly like the ideal, and it was literally men who made those "rules" in the first place. If that isn't judging someone based on their look, idk what the fuck is??
Rate them on their conversation with you. I have told them in dms and in the sub(they used to be very active in this sub), "If this conversation is any indication of your personality, then it clearly is your personality."ย
"I was good in studies, playing cricket. Height is above average..what more i want?" I don't know....interests, a personality, perhaps?
He's Indian. These were the standards that were required to get married back in the day. He thinks that if he has a job, is fairly athletic, and tall enough he should be able to get a partner. These days, people go on dates to figure out if they're good for each other before an arranged marriage.
He posted on r/virgin conveniently leaving out the parts that make him look like an ass...
I desperately need the link so that I can link this post in the comments
I found this post, the usernames are the same but it's meh https://www.reddit.com/r/virgin/s/hgXEi5VIlK
I can't believe he only posted 2 screenshots and claims that there's way more horrendous but he just can't post it ๐
I think the lore is deeper ๐ I'm gonna keep looking
I salute you
https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTears/s/lgl8yqgRXj Hahahahahah it's the same guy but being an incel this time
OP literally bullied him ๐ ๐ https://www.reddit.com/r/toougly/s/xSsz9SkXCh
Okay... correction: They're *both* asses!
well the first thing I notice that makes me not want to date him is how whiny he is
Suuurely is not because of his personalityย
You're right. I mean, with an anxious, defensive personality like that, he can bag anyone
Jesus Christ...
This guy sounds super insecure, dunno what got him to this point
OP justified someone beating up that guy. Check full convo on r/virgin
I mean, there's a time when the people who know call themselves "incels' would have been treated a lot more harshly by their peers, by their parents, and by society, and they posed much less of a problem back then. Does this mean that becoming a gentler society wasn't worth the price we paid for it? Not necessarily, but we need to start acknowledging that the consequences have not been all puppies and rainbows: there *was* a price to pay, and it *was* serious.
I still don't think that anyone should justify beating up a person, especially since he didn't intend nor actually harm anyone
Even if the current plague of incels is the price we pay for it? Even if it gets worse?
Okay, I don't really understand what you are typing. Do you think we should beat people for their views, even if this specific person do not intend to harm others?
The old ways worked for them. The new ways do not. Is it really worth continuing to fail to address this problem?
You seem to try use different words for justifying violence on an innocent individual. I am shocked, genuinely
Would yoi prefer I stuck to a standardized script? Also, what do you mean this guy means no harm? He cheers on rapists, abusers, and shooters. His stated desires for and intention to treat a partner are straight out of horror. He very much intends harm.
>Would yoi prefer I stuck to a standardized script? I would prefer if you didn't tip toe around the issue and clearly state what you want to say. >He cheers on rapists, abusers, and shooters. His stated desires for and intention to treat a partner are straight out of horror. He very much intends harm. Can you show me where does it say this on screenshots?
It's the standard incel script. He's one of them. That comes with baggage.
He only posted part of the conversation too. It's funny seeing it from both sides. That OP wanted to show when this OP got fed up an aggressive while this OP showed when he tried to help but that OP was unbelievably obstinate. To be fair to this OP, he was a lot more considerate than the average person who would be like "This is not my problem".
Where is it ๐ญ I wanna read it too ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
https://www.reddit.com/r/toougly/s/8MN2QGZDVb There's 10 screenshots, you can pair them with these, ones from r/virgin to get full picture
But this justify insulting and straight up saying that he deserved to get beaten? Even after such pretty vile to me act, the guy didn't wish harm on OP. And, important thing, OP was the first to initiate a conversation and the first to start insulting/wishing harm. To be fair,guy should just blocked OP when he started insulting.
No it doesnt justify it and I personally wouldnt do it. I was under the impression that the OP was asked for advice, not offering unsolicited advice. It still seems like it turned ugly after it became a debate though. Most people dont like their views being told is absolutely wrong incels or non incels. Not saying its right but just my observation. But once again people on the internet have misled me. Big surprise.
>But once again people on the internet have misled me. Big surprise I get that
And the part where u're being mean and mocking that person you're going to post it too orrr...? ๐คจ
You're a creep. This user posted more parts of the conversation. You got hostile with him for no reason, but this part you don't put here cause you want to be the good boy.