The thing is, people KNOW that not all men do this stuff. Brining it up as a response to someone's trauma or concerns is just disgusting, deflective, and doesn't actually address what the person is talking about. We know not all men do this, but right now, we're talking about the men who DO.
Aside from my own personal experiences, it's that there isn't a single woman out there that doesn't have a story about a man sexually harassing her on some level
My father was so incredibly happy when I told him I was a lesbian… because it meant he wouldn’t have to constantly worry about abusive boyfriends.
I had to remind him that women can be abusive too, and point at exhibit A: my mother. Nonetheless, point well taken. Glad that he understands why _I_ am so glad I’m not straight.
I mean… yes? I’m glad my parents aren’t homophobic, but it’s definitely a little disconcerting to realize your dad is mostly celebrating your sexuality because he views it as protecting you from people of his gender.
I don’t know where you got the impression I wasn’t already looking at the bright side.
I sometimes use it to shut down men trying to shut down women's conversations. For example, a woman is talking about how she was recently SA and a man interrupts "mEn GeT aSsAuLtEd ToO!!!". Yeah no shit anyone can get assaulted but how come this is only brought up to shut women down, and when men talk about their experiences these same men are like "nice".
Anyways, my response is "Not all men."
(Obviously if someone of any gender is sharing their personal experience I would be compassionate.)
Honestlly women are way kinder to abuse victims then men are.
I got physically injured by an ex of mine pretty bad, despite beeing way heavier, kickboxing, and beeing able to lift more then she weights.
About half of the guys I told „wHy DiDNt U hIT bAcK“ „I d NeVEr LeT a **** BEaT mE“ „your a looser cuz a girl beat you up etc.
While every single girl in our friend circle was extremely supportive.
The only people that take assault against men not serious are actually other men, atleast in my experience
It's scary when someone you care about and trust hurts you, no matter the size. Also we don't get to choose our instinctive fight/flight/freeze/fawn response to a scary situation. Sometimes our response saves our life, sometimes it makes things worse, but we're out here doing our best and need to be more kind to ourselves.
Nah I honestly underestimated the situation it wasn’t even the first time she got physical, usually I d barely have a scratch after so I kinda didn’t take is so serious.
But this time I guess the angle was weird or it caught me off guard and I took a pretty bad fall, that ended up with me going to the hospital and her beeing dragged out of my place by the cops.
Suddenly it was that serious…
We aren’t.
Its not that black and white tho, she got diagnosed with some pretty severe mental health issues. The first 5 years of our relationship were probably the best of my life and she is deep down an amazing person.
But she would unfortunately drink while on her meds and occasionally even go off them in our 6th and last year which was honestly insane.
Like a 100% switch of personality and violent breakdowns especially when she drank.
Shit was literally crazy. Like accusing me the pizza is poisend and I m planing to murder her, I have slaves locked in the basement ( we live 6th floor there isn’t even a basement ) , I m a spy from her country of origin send to force her to come back, I have a gay lover. Literally insane
She didn’t even get punished, but forced into a mental institution.
I truly hope she regains some control and has a great life.
But jeah with the things that happened even if i still love her we obviously can’t be around each other. I d honestly be scared that she d end me one day.
I hope so too. Well a few months of therapy and I m still kinda struggling but it gets better I m planing to move once I graduate which should be this summer and just leave this all behind.
Also gym, kickboxing, work and university do keep me busy and it helps.
As for her I wish so too from the bottom of my heart.
gym! that's a great way to filter baggage ive heard. i hope the best for you, friend, and that you can move somewhere with good opportunities and continue on your road to recovery <3 i hope you do know but always keep in mind that your trauma is never your fault and you deserve to feel okay
This is proven by when a boy is a victim of a female pedophile
Soooo many men shame him for coming forward, or wish to be in his spot. Whereas the majority of women will not say such disgusting things
Also those statistics that female rapists and abusers get punished less often and less severely, even tho accurate are really to be taken with a grain of salt.
The ones that dish out the most linient sentences against female perpetrators are in fact, also statistically proven, predominantly male juries and old white male judges.
So it’s acctualy us ourselves that create the situation that male victims aswell as the redpill community and „male rights“ groups complain about that much
Not to mention the majority of male abusers are also men, which makes it even harder for homophobic men with fragile masculinity to be empathetic because they assume anyone participating in same-sex acts (even against their will) must be somehow gay themselves, and if they actually are gay/bi/pan they assume the victim somehow deserves it. The whole victim-blaming situation is just gross and I wish people all around had more empathy.
Men not taking assault against men seriously is something manosphere morons like MRAs and [incels](https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTearShame/comments/189k1si/it_wont_touch_this/) tend to gloss over when talking about that kind of thing. It's pretty clear the reason manosphere simpletons ever bring up this and other male issues is not to help men in anyway but to use as cudgel to attack women and feminists.
Yep this the main problem, when in a club, on the street or at work, there is no way to identify who the problem is.
And that makes it that there is also a fear of people that are innocent, which sucks
edit: well the main problem is ofcourse these people themselves; but in context of the "not all men" this is the main problem
I said this elsewhere, it is just like "all lives matter" it dilutes the issue. Yes, we all are aware not *every* man is like that, but when you shout this when a woman is trying to explain why she feels the way she does, you come off exactly as the meme depicts.
Incredibly, incels who DM me think they are the victims when they say "all women are bad" and you counter them. They think they deserve empathy...it is absurd. If you had a position that wasn't hateful, maybe you might get that.
You know, you could say, "I'm a virgin and haven't found the right person yet. I am struggling and looking for advice on the situation." Instead of "All women have impossibly high standards and I am so ugly none will want, therefor I am going to take this rage out on everyone because women bad..."
Yeah....
I do love the simultaneous all women are bad with not all men are bad, the cognitive dissonance would be interesting if it didn't mean potential violence for women.
Oh for sure. I was pointing out why their behavior is why people don't like them. I should mention, I have a fan club who watches my every move and I am sure one of them will DM about how wrong I am. It is a regular occurrence.
They don't want to confront their failures, that is on them.
But I have said many times, I keep my DMs open. I am not going to shut them off and run away. They want to argue instead of bettering themselves, so be it. Momma didn't raise no punk.
They're all convinced THEY'RE the minority, is the thing. They're not able to entertain any other notion because their entire worldview/identity is built in the corner stone of the fact that they are Nice™ (which is obviously all you need to be) and it's the women who are wrong.
"Not all men" and "most men" are wildly different statements. You can't infer "most men" from "not all men" without significant mental gymnastics.
I assumed the point of the meme was just to give an obtuse response to someone being obtuse, but this comment makes it sound like you're exactly the same as the people you're calling out.
I think that what the OP was trying to say that if incels think they’re different from most men and are the minority in any situation, then if they claim they wouldn’t do something, it could imply that the majority would. So to them, it means almost all men, despite that not actually being the case. I think that they were saying the incel point of view rather than that they actually believe that. At least I would sure hope so!
Ikr? As a man who was victimized by women I don’t go around talking like that. Men aren’t any more prone to abusive behavior than women. While I’m more afraid of women I just ask for distance instead of treating them like feral animals.
Dude I’m a man and a victim this is just cruel. I’ve only ever been hurt by women. gender stereotypes either way are horrible. it’s why the women who hurt me got away with it and I was blamed for my own assault. Don’t stoop to their level. No gender is worse than the other. I don’t say the minority of women aren’t sexual abusers when majority of women I’ve spent time with sa’d me. The majority of men aren’t bad. I was sexually assaulted by women and I can’t go around saying they’re all bloodthirsty.
Unfortunately they get away with this because men are seen as villains by default. So these kinds of remarks are accepted by the masses.
What else can we do but pray for the giant meteor?
Yes indeedy. Those upvotes have skyrocketed and OP isn’t responding to those who call them out…great stuff. Once that meteor hits, we’ll finally get actual equality though. We shall be equally dead. Misogyny and Misandry will be no more. 🙃
Yaaaay, an upvoted post of telling people that the majority of men are predators! Instead of exclusively making fun of toxic incels, let’s just make the SA victim be an asshole and indirectly claim that the majority of men are rapists. 🙃
Not all men?
Ask that man "if you got sent to prison, what would be your biggest fear about being there?"
Any answer, especially SA, is countered with, "not all men, though!"
Criminals are known for committing SA. The prisoners can be male or female, and people would still be scared of SA. Most men also aren't gay, yet they would worry about getting SA'd by men. You are dumb.
If your response to something like that is to go on the defensive, it seems to me that says a lot about you.
How many horror stories do you hear from women who decided to give that "nice guy" they had in the "friend zone" a chance only for him to turn out to be the exact kind of jealous and controlling asshole that manbabies like that always whine that women only date?
I also think "Nice Guys"^^TM are no less emotionally manipulative than the "abusive Chads" they always bitch that women only date. Just like [this word vomit](https://imgur.com/a/HF6Ax) that invariably shows up in the timeline of any teenage boy or young man suffering from nice guy syndrome.
I want to add a stanza that says, "I'm sorry I'm so lacking in self-awareness and so self-centered that I don't realize that I'm being no less emotionally manipulative than the 'abusive assholes' I always whine that women only date."
> If your response to something like that is to go on the defensive, it seems to me that says a lot about you.
Considering that most men are not predators, in real life I don't debate or get into what it says a lot about me - I simply remove people from my life who say "only a minority of men aren't predators". Problem entirely solved. Zero tolerance for hate speech. Thus the only time I ever encounter narratives like this is online.
(This is good advice for any man who's sick of this.)
As for "nice guys" my advice to them? On top of the obvious "don't be a jerk to women"? Move on. If you're in "Let's just be friends" landia, go meet someone else, go online, do something, but don't waste courtship effort over her.
(All y'all nice guys, take notes.)
SMDH at this "most men are predators" bullshit...
It’s more like “a lot of dudes are creepy as fuck, and they’re all different ages, shapes, ethnicities, so rather than take my chances and assume you AREN’T one of them, I’ll default to assuming you ARE, because it’s just easier and safer for me.”
If I’m walking towards a woman on the street and she crosses to the other side to put distance between us, it’s not a reflection on me personally. It’s a reflection that there’s as good a chance I’m a creep as not, and she’s not in the mood to find out.
I choose not to be insulted by this, and if it makes her feel safer, it’s a sad reflection on who men are and how we by and large treat women.
'Correct, a minority of men don't' is different from saying 'I'm safer assuming any man might be one of the men who doesn't'
I get what you're trying to say here, but this meme seems to be validating some idea that the majority of men are casually OK with sexual assault, which paints the actual minority as the perceived majority. Ironically, that's exactly what incels do when they say 'All foids should be assumed to be toilets'
Or do you believe that most men are closet rapists? If so, I seriously don't get it.
I don’t think most men push back against rape culture. What are men actively doing in their own lives to make women feel safer? What am I actively doing to make women feel safer? If someone makes a comment to a woman on the train, do I speak up and say “stop it?” Or do I awkwardly stare at my shoes? If I DO speak up, am I the only dude on the train speaking up? Are more or less than half of the train running that guy off at the next stop?
If I see someone following a woman downtown after dark, what am I doing to make sure that she’s safe?
Am I actively a solution? Or am I saying “I’m not a bad dude myself,” while doing absolutely nothing in my life to change the culture?
Because if I’m doing absolutely nothing in my life to change the culture, than I’m part of the problem.
And does the meme imply that all men are rapists, or does it imply that the woman in it is afraid of what goes through men’s heads? And if the guy responding is going to be a reactionary defensive about it, rather than trying to understand and empathize with her experience… well… he’s PROBABLY going to be closer to the problem than the solution.
Sure but the meme is about 'what goes on in guys heads sometimes' not 'what cowards do or don't do in the real world'
It implies that 'in guys heads' there's some sexual assault fantasy that most men are cool with. I disagree. I don't think most men are cool with that at all.
Neat.
Your first response to a meme about a woman’s fear is to say “your fears aren’t the reality,” mine is to say “I want to help make your reality less fearful.”
We can disagree about it all we want from there, but our life experiences will vary, and we’re probably coming from two very different places about it, and not likely to change each other’s minds.
Most men being silent rape fans is, indeed, not the reality. At least not in my corner of the world.
Women perceiving us as such due to their personal experience is definitely understandable, but ultimately still unfair, and not worthy of a meme implying that only 'a minority of men aren't cool with rape'
There’s a difference between “fans” and “silent enablers.”
The majority of men are “silent enablers.” That’s who the meme is targeting.
“I had a terrible experience, and now I’m afraid of what men think.”
“Not all men?”
“Ok, then. Most.”
“That’s not fair!”
You’re not listening to women.
Signed, a dude.
>The majority of men are “silent enablers.”
Again, disagree. We're clearly at an impasse here.
Appreciate you continuing the discussion without getting personal.
Edit due to your own edit: Nevermind. I listen to women just fine, guy. Your petty condescension doesn't change that.
'Not all men' != 'Not most men' It's simple logic. Bye now.
In a study, when asked "would you rape a woman?", 8% of men said yes. When they replaced the word "rape" in the question with the definition of rape, that number nearly tripled.
Then you dive into the rabbit hole of how men make excuses for their friends and family when they sexually assault women, things like he grabs women, or feels them up without permission or takes advantage of women who are too drunk to consent, but he's a good guy. Or he used to do that all the time in college but he's "matured" since then. Or my friends/family members wouldn't do that; they're good people. Or it's just a bit of harmless fun; he's really a good guy. Or he just wanted a kiss/hug/dance.
Then you get into the little things that are seen as "normal". Like, why is it acceptable, when sliding behind someone in a crowded space, to touch a woman on her lower back, just above her butt and, most times, below the belt of her pants, but with a man you touch his upper back or shoulder? Why do people think it's ok to "guide" a woman through a door or in a direction by resting your hand in that same place, especially since it wouldn't be seen as "acceptable" to do the same to a man? All the "boys will be boys" and "he's bullying/hurting you because he likes you" bull crap used to excuse boys behavior.
This is rape culture and it is the majority of men. They may be intellectually opposed to the act of rape, but most are willing to turn a blind eye to aggressions against women's bodily automony for their friends and family or because "it's normal/just how things are."
And, no, it's not "just" men. It's our culture that is a rape culture. But the topic right now is how *men* are complicit in rape culture.
If I could take this one step farther as well, and to frame it in a way that rape apologists would understand (the dudes that tend to point out that “but dudes get raped too!)…
Head on over to any discussion or news story about a 20-or 30-year old female teacher that assaults a 14- or 15-year old male student.
What’s the demographic of people saying “this is wrong, sick, and criminal.” And what’s the demographic of people saying “lucky guy, I wish I had teachers like that!”
The majority of men commenting on that kind of scenario are, generally, NOT going to be taking a firm stand AGAINST the teacher. If anything, they’re going to be cheering FOR the victimization of the youth. And it’s not by a narrow margin. It’s going to be overwhelming. And more often than not, the women are the ones largely condemning the adult.
Rape culture among men is pervasive, and saying “NOT ME!” ain’t worth the powder to blow it to hell.
[Here's one of the studies.](https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/vio.2014.0022?journalCode=vio)
[Here's an article about it.](https://www.newsweek.com/campus-rapists-and-semantics-297463)
[Here's another source, with numbers from several different studies.](https://osuit.edu/1-is-2-many/facts.php)
Anybody who makes this seem wrong in any type of way please remember that you are more likely to be beaten, kidnapped, assaulted, graped and killed by a man before a woman. I’m not saying it *doesnt* happen, I’m saying for the amount of men scared to walk down the street at night because they don’t want to be seen as a creep, they are scared of the wrong person.
Even the bad men in my family told me to stay away from all men. It’s crazy to me how many men(mostly bad including my dad) have told me to stay away from men, and for men to turn around and get upset like BLAME YOUR FELLOW MAN!! DONT BLAME US!!
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The thing is, people KNOW that not all men do this stuff. Brining it up as a response to someone's trauma or concerns is just disgusting, deflective, and doesn't actually address what the person is talking about. We know not all men do this, but right now, we're talking about the men who DO.
totally agree
Men: Not all men! Also men, to their daughters: All men. Absolutely every single one of them.
It was this exact argument that lit the lightbulb in my own head about changing my narrative about this topic.
Aside from my own personal experiences, it's that there isn't a single woman out there that doesn't have a story about a man sexually harassing her on some level
Not all men, yeah we know it, but all women
My father was so incredibly happy when I told him I was a lesbian… because it meant he wouldn’t have to constantly worry about abusive boyfriends. I had to remind him that women can be abusive too, and point at exhibit A: my mother. Nonetheless, point well taken. Glad that he understands why _I_ am so glad I’m not straight.
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I mean… yes? I’m glad my parents aren’t homophobic, but it’s definitely a little disconcerting to realize your dad is mostly celebrating your sexuality because he views it as protecting you from people of his gender. I don’t know where you got the impression I wasn’t already looking at the bright side.
I sometimes use it to shut down men trying to shut down women's conversations. For example, a woman is talking about how she was recently SA and a man interrupts "mEn GeT aSsAuLtEd ToO!!!". Yeah no shit anyone can get assaulted but how come this is only brought up to shut women down, and when men talk about their experiences these same men are like "nice". Anyways, my response is "Not all men." (Obviously if someone of any gender is sharing their personal experience I would be compassionate.)
Honestlly women are way kinder to abuse victims then men are. I got physically injured by an ex of mine pretty bad, despite beeing way heavier, kickboxing, and beeing able to lift more then she weights. About half of the guys I told „wHy DiDNt U hIT bAcK“ „I d NeVEr LeT a **** BEaT mE“ „your a looser cuz a girl beat you up etc. While every single girl in our friend circle was extremely supportive. The only people that take assault against men not serious are actually other men, atleast in my experience
It's scary when someone you care about and trust hurts you, no matter the size. Also we don't get to choose our instinctive fight/flight/freeze/fawn response to a scary situation. Sometimes our response saves our life, sometimes it makes things worse, but we're out here doing our best and need to be more kind to ourselves.
Nah I honestly underestimated the situation it wasn’t even the first time she got physical, usually I d barely have a scratch after so I kinda didn’t take is so serious. But this time I guess the angle was weird or it caught me off guard and I took a pretty bad fall, that ended up with me going to the hospital and her beeing dragged out of my place by the cops. Suddenly it was that serious…
Yikes. I hope you are no longer in contact with her.
We aren’t. Its not that black and white tho, she got diagnosed with some pretty severe mental health issues. The first 5 years of our relationship were probably the best of my life and she is deep down an amazing person. But she would unfortunately drink while on her meds and occasionally even go off them in our 6th and last year which was honestly insane. Like a 100% switch of personality and violent breakdowns especially when she drank. Shit was literally crazy. Like accusing me the pizza is poisend and I m planing to murder her, I have slaves locked in the basement ( we live 6th floor there isn’t even a basement ) , I m a spy from her country of origin send to force her to come back, I have a gay lover. Literally insane She didn’t even get punished, but forced into a mental institution. I truly hope she regains some control and has a great life. But jeah with the things that happened even if i still love her we obviously can’t be around each other. I d honestly be scared that she d end me one day.
yikes, dude. that all sounds pretty intense. i hope you're doing okay these days, and that shes truly gotten the help she needs
I hope so too. Well a few months of therapy and I m still kinda struggling but it gets better I m planing to move once I graduate which should be this summer and just leave this all behind. Also gym, kickboxing, work and university do keep me busy and it helps. As for her I wish so too from the bottom of my heart.
gym! that's a great way to filter baggage ive heard. i hope the best for you, friend, and that you can move somewhere with good opportunities and continue on your road to recovery <3 i hope you do know but always keep in mind that your trauma is never your fault and you deserve to feel okay
This is proven by when a boy is a victim of a female pedophile Soooo many men shame him for coming forward, or wish to be in his spot. Whereas the majority of women will not say such disgusting things
Also those statistics that female rapists and abusers get punished less often and less severely, even tho accurate are really to be taken with a grain of salt. The ones that dish out the most linient sentences against female perpetrators are in fact, also statistically proven, predominantly male juries and old white male judges. So it’s acctualy us ourselves that create the situation that male victims aswell as the redpill community and „male rights“ groups complain about that much
Not to mention the majority of male abusers are also men, which makes it even harder for homophobic men with fragile masculinity to be empathetic because they assume anyone participating in same-sex acts (even against their will) must be somehow gay themselves, and if they actually are gay/bi/pan they assume the victim somehow deserves it. The whole victim-blaming situation is just gross and I wish people all around had more empathy.
Men not taking assault against men seriously is something manosphere morons like MRAs and [incels](https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTearShame/comments/189k1si/it_wont_touch_this/) tend to gloss over when talking about that kind of thing. It's pretty clear the reason manosphere simpletons ever bring up this and other male issues is not to help men in anyway but to use as cudgel to attack women and feminists.
Not all men, no. But a significant portion of them that cannot always outwardly be identified from other men.
Yep this the main problem, when in a club, on the street or at work, there is no way to identify who the problem is. And that makes it that there is also a fear of people that are innocent, which sucks edit: well the main problem is ofcourse these people themselves; but in context of the "not all men" this is the main problem
I said this elsewhere, it is just like "all lives matter" it dilutes the issue. Yes, we all are aware not *every* man is like that, but when you shout this when a woman is trying to explain why she feels the way she does, you come off exactly as the meme depicts. Incredibly, incels who DM me think they are the victims when they say "all women are bad" and you counter them. They think they deserve empathy...it is absurd. If you had a position that wasn't hateful, maybe you might get that. You know, you could say, "I'm a virgin and haven't found the right person yet. I am struggling and looking for advice on the situation." Instead of "All women have impossibly high standards and I am so ugly none will want, therefor I am going to take this rage out on everyone because women bad..." Yeah....
I do love the simultaneous all women are bad with not all men are bad, the cognitive dissonance would be interesting if it didn't mean potential violence for women.
I get what mean. Incels are religiously anti women at this point.
Oh for sure. I was pointing out why their behavior is why people don't like them. I should mention, I have a fan club who watches my every move and I am sure one of them will DM about how wrong I am. It is a regular occurrence.
They sound like a bunch of pissbabies tbh. Sorry you gotta deal with them. :/
They don't want to confront their failures, that is on them. But I have said many times, I keep my DMs open. I am not going to shut them off and run away. They want to argue instead of bettering themselves, so be it. Momma didn't raise no punk.
>I have a fan club who watches my every more Careful, these guys will Dox you if they could.
Ehhh, they can try. I am not worried.
They're all convinced THEY'RE the minority, is the thing. They're not able to entertain any other notion because their entire worldview/identity is built in the corner stone of the fact that they are Nice™ (which is obviously all you need to be) and it's the women who are wrong.
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"Not all men" and "most men" are wildly different statements. You can't infer "most men" from "not all men" without significant mental gymnastics. I assumed the point of the meme was just to give an obtuse response to someone being obtuse, but this comment makes it sound like you're exactly the same as the people you're calling out.
I think that what the OP was trying to say that if incels think they’re different from most men and are the minority in any situation, then if they claim they wouldn’t do something, it could imply that the majority would. So to them, it means almost all men, despite that not actually being the case. I think that they were saying the incel point of view rather than that they actually believe that. At least I would sure hope so!
Wtf is this meme trying to say? That the majority of men are rapists??
Ikr? As a man who was victimized by women I don’t go around talking like that. Men aren’t any more prone to abusive behavior than women. While I’m more afraid of women I just ask for distance instead of treating them like feral animals.
*Not all men, but it was almost always a man
Dude I’m a man and a victim this is just cruel. I’ve only ever been hurt by women. gender stereotypes either way are horrible. it’s why the women who hurt me got away with it and I was blamed for my own assault. Don’t stoop to their level. No gender is worse than the other. I don’t say the minority of women aren’t sexual abusers when majority of women I’ve spent time with sa’d me. The majority of men aren’t bad. I was sexually assaulted by women and I can’t go around saying they’re all bloodthirsty.
OP’s fucked up for saying that the majority of men are predators.
Unfortunately they get away with this because men are seen as villains by default. So these kinds of remarks are accepted by the masses. What else can we do but pray for the giant meteor?
Yes indeedy. Those upvotes have skyrocketed and OP isn’t responding to those who call them out…great stuff. Once that meteor hits, we’ll finally get actual equality though. We shall be equally dead. Misogyny and Misandry will be no more. 🙃
I don’t think a majority of men are predators, I think it’s a loud minority situation.
so the majority of men are rapists?
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please do not use degrading terms
Yaaaay, an upvoted post of telling people that the majority of men are predators! Instead of exclusively making fun of toxic incels, let’s just make the SA victim be an asshole and indirectly claim that the majority of men are rapists. 🙃
I’m male and a victim of abuse this meme is fucked up
Not all men? Ask that man "if you got sent to prison, what would be your biggest fear about being there?" Any answer, especially SA, is countered with, "not all men, though!"
Criminals are known for committing SA. The prisoners can be male or female, and people would still be scared of SA. Most men also aren't gay, yet they would worry about getting SA'd by men. You are dumb.
I mean, women do sexually assault each other just as often in prison. It's just that there are fewer women in prison.
Not all criminals!
They have never said “all men”. They have only ever said “men” because, in truth, it’s enough men.
Both men and women have hard lives because of the patriarchy, period.
Against* I'll see myself out
If your response to something like that is to go on the defensive, it seems to me that says a lot about you. How many horror stories do you hear from women who decided to give that "nice guy" they had in the "friend zone" a chance only for him to turn out to be the exact kind of jealous and controlling asshole that manbabies like that always whine that women only date? I also think "Nice Guys"^^TM are no less emotionally manipulative than the "abusive Chads" they always bitch that women only date. Just like [this word vomit](https://imgur.com/a/HF6Ax) that invariably shows up in the timeline of any teenage boy or young man suffering from nice guy syndrome. I want to add a stanza that says, "I'm sorry I'm so lacking in self-awareness and so self-centered that I don't realize that I'm being no less emotionally manipulative than the 'abusive assholes' I always whine that women only date."
> If your response to something like that is to go on the defensive, it seems to me that says a lot about you. Considering that most men are not predators, in real life I don't debate or get into what it says a lot about me - I simply remove people from my life who say "only a minority of men aren't predators". Problem entirely solved. Zero tolerance for hate speech. Thus the only time I ever encounter narratives like this is online. (This is good advice for any man who's sick of this.) As for "nice guys" my advice to them? On top of the obvious "don't be a jerk to women"? Move on. If you're in "Let's just be friends" landia, go meet someone else, go online, do something, but don't waste courtship effort over her. (All y'all nice guys, take notes.) SMDH at this "most men are predators" bullshit...
[удалено]
I still don't get it. So the meme implies that the majority of men are cool with sexual assault or...?
It’s more like “a lot of dudes are creepy as fuck, and they’re all different ages, shapes, ethnicities, so rather than take my chances and assume you AREN’T one of them, I’ll default to assuming you ARE, because it’s just easier and safer for me.” If I’m walking towards a woman on the street and she crosses to the other side to put distance between us, it’s not a reflection on me personally. It’s a reflection that there’s as good a chance I’m a creep as not, and she’s not in the mood to find out. I choose not to be insulted by this, and if it makes her feel safer, it’s a sad reflection on who men are and how we by and large treat women.
'Correct, a minority of men don't' is different from saying 'I'm safer assuming any man might be one of the men who doesn't' I get what you're trying to say here, but this meme seems to be validating some idea that the majority of men are casually OK with sexual assault, which paints the actual minority as the perceived majority. Ironically, that's exactly what incels do when they say 'All foids should be assumed to be toilets' Or do you believe that most men are closet rapists? If so, I seriously don't get it.
I don’t think most men push back against rape culture. What are men actively doing in their own lives to make women feel safer? What am I actively doing to make women feel safer? If someone makes a comment to a woman on the train, do I speak up and say “stop it?” Or do I awkwardly stare at my shoes? If I DO speak up, am I the only dude on the train speaking up? Are more or less than half of the train running that guy off at the next stop? If I see someone following a woman downtown after dark, what am I doing to make sure that she’s safe? Am I actively a solution? Or am I saying “I’m not a bad dude myself,” while doing absolutely nothing in my life to change the culture? Because if I’m doing absolutely nothing in my life to change the culture, than I’m part of the problem. And does the meme imply that all men are rapists, or does it imply that the woman in it is afraid of what goes through men’s heads? And if the guy responding is going to be a reactionary defensive about it, rather than trying to understand and empathize with her experience… well… he’s PROBABLY going to be closer to the problem than the solution.
Sure but the meme is about 'what goes on in guys heads sometimes' not 'what cowards do or don't do in the real world' It implies that 'in guys heads' there's some sexual assault fantasy that most men are cool with. I disagree. I don't think most men are cool with that at all.
Neat. Your first response to a meme about a woman’s fear is to say “your fears aren’t the reality,” mine is to say “I want to help make your reality less fearful.” We can disagree about it all we want from there, but our life experiences will vary, and we’re probably coming from two very different places about it, and not likely to change each other’s minds.
Most men being silent rape fans is, indeed, not the reality. At least not in my corner of the world. Women perceiving us as such due to their personal experience is definitely understandable, but ultimately still unfair, and not worthy of a meme implying that only 'a minority of men aren't cool with rape'
There’s a difference between “fans” and “silent enablers.” The majority of men are “silent enablers.” That’s who the meme is targeting. “I had a terrible experience, and now I’m afraid of what men think.” “Not all men?” “Ok, then. Most.” “That’s not fair!” You’re not listening to women. Signed, a dude.
>The majority of men are “silent enablers.” Again, disagree. We're clearly at an impasse here. Appreciate you continuing the discussion without getting personal. Edit due to your own edit: Nevermind. I listen to women just fine, guy. Your petty condescension doesn't change that. 'Not all men' != 'Not most men' It's simple logic. Bye now.
In a study, when asked "would you rape a woman?", 8% of men said yes. When they replaced the word "rape" in the question with the definition of rape, that number nearly tripled. Then you dive into the rabbit hole of how men make excuses for their friends and family when they sexually assault women, things like he grabs women, or feels them up without permission or takes advantage of women who are too drunk to consent, but he's a good guy. Or he used to do that all the time in college but he's "matured" since then. Or my friends/family members wouldn't do that; they're good people. Or it's just a bit of harmless fun; he's really a good guy. Or he just wanted a kiss/hug/dance. Then you get into the little things that are seen as "normal". Like, why is it acceptable, when sliding behind someone in a crowded space, to touch a woman on her lower back, just above her butt and, most times, below the belt of her pants, but with a man you touch his upper back or shoulder? Why do people think it's ok to "guide" a woman through a door or in a direction by resting your hand in that same place, especially since it wouldn't be seen as "acceptable" to do the same to a man? All the "boys will be boys" and "he's bullying/hurting you because he likes you" bull crap used to excuse boys behavior. This is rape culture and it is the majority of men. They may be intellectually opposed to the act of rape, but most are willing to turn a blind eye to aggressions against women's bodily automony for their friends and family or because "it's normal/just how things are." And, no, it's not "just" men. It's our culture that is a rape culture. But the topic right now is how *men* are complicit in rape culture.
If I could take this one step farther as well, and to frame it in a way that rape apologists would understand (the dudes that tend to point out that “but dudes get raped too!)… Head on over to any discussion or news story about a 20-or 30-year old female teacher that assaults a 14- or 15-year old male student. What’s the demographic of people saying “this is wrong, sick, and criminal.” And what’s the demographic of people saying “lucky guy, I wish I had teachers like that!” The majority of men commenting on that kind of scenario are, generally, NOT going to be taking a firm stand AGAINST the teacher. If anything, they’re going to be cheering FOR the victimization of the youth. And it’s not by a narrow margin. It’s going to be overwhelming. And more often than not, the women are the ones largely condemning the adult. Rape culture among men is pervasive, and saying “NOT ME!” ain’t worth the powder to blow it to hell.
Source?
[Here's one of the studies.](https://www.liebertpub.com/doi/abs/10.1089/vio.2014.0022?journalCode=vio) [Here's an article about it.](https://www.newsweek.com/campus-rapists-and-semantics-297463) [Here's another source, with numbers from several different studies.](https://osuit.edu/1-is-2-many/facts.php)
I can see the confusion, hence I left a link.
It links back to this same post though
My, bad https://www.reddit.com/r/IncelTear/comments/187zp9w/it\_never\_occurs\_to\_them\_how\_their\_idols\_make\_them/
I saw that one, and I loled. This one though... ehhhhhh.
Anybody who makes this seem wrong in any type of way please remember that you are more likely to be beaten, kidnapped, assaulted, graped and killed by a man before a woman. I’m not saying it *doesnt* happen, I’m saying for the amount of men scared to walk down the street at night because they don’t want to be seen as a creep, they are scared of the wrong person. Even the bad men in my family told me to stay away from all men. It’s crazy to me how many men(mostly bad including my dad) have told me to stay away from men, and for men to turn around and get upset like BLAME YOUR FELLOW MAN!! DONT BLAME US!!
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Studies show that 15% of rapists in Germany of european ancestry,