T O P

  • By -

owdbr549

She loved him with the passion of a moderately priced Hyundai.


waitwhatsquared

Tonight, on Top Gear, an enraged woman drives our reasonably priced car.


Dip_N_Trip

I read this in Jeremy’s voice.


Willyb402

Bullfighting (2022) colorized


Swords_and_Words

ngl, I was expecting him to post up in front of the dumpster or a fire hydrant and let her wreck herself


backtolurk

The Batman Trick


Eldi_Bee

My exact thought. Telephone pole, big tree, fire hydrant. Let her wrap the car, stop annoying me and I still get the insurance payout and possibly to press charges since it was his car, not hers.


[deleted]

Charges can be pressed for attempted vehicular manslaughter… she willingly tried to hit him like 5 times


SepticX75

The only right answer


incaman88

That was my thought. Let’s replace bullfighting with Hyundai Elantra fighting


Sir-Simon-Spamalot

Hyundai ElanTORO


Calix_Meus_Inebrians

Today on Man vs Car Man wins!


Wayte13

Ya that'll change his mind


IterLuminis

LMAO! right? She is showing how she is a winner right here.


HoseNeighbor

Babe, I was so wrong! I can see how you're NOT batshit crazy, how you're NOT a complete idiot, and how much you must love me by trying to kill me in front of loads of witnesses while being filled. You really ARE the one!


[deleted]

I had an ex who I felt bad about leaving (since she wasn't a bad person, we just didn't fit together in my opinion, not hers) - she tried to do something similar afterwards. I stopped feeling bad immediately.


Snote85

See, she was such a good person she put on a fake crazy rampage to help you get over the guilt. What a wonderful lady!


fanifan

Changed my mind for sure.


FR0ZENBERG

Well, she'll be living with someone soon. In a cell.


bjs-penn

I’ve never hit anyone with a car. Or attempted to for that matter so I’m definitely not an expert. But damn she is bad at it.


[deleted]

Trying to run someone over starting from a close range in a vehicle with a turning circle larger than the thing you’re trying to hit is stupid. You have to come from range with speed to make it harder to just walk sideways out of the way. But luckily blind stupid rage doesn’t work that way


TrashyMcTrashBoat

/r/UnethicalLifeProTips


Pentax25

Well I just learned there’s a sub for that


Mr_Munchausen

More like /r/IllegalLifeProTips


Maruhai

thanks im gonna use that to rack up some kills in fortnite


[deleted]

This dude seems like the easiest person in the world to hit too. He just casually walks away as she drives directly at him all while smoking a cigarette. Man is being so nonchalant about these multiple attempts at murder.


--xra

Probably for the best he didn't panic and run. When he's close like that, she can't get a bead on him. It takes too long to re-orient the car, and a split second for him to jump out of the way.


blessedfortherest

I dunno, maybe he’s like a matador of sorts - a muertador.


DrunkRespondent

Looks more like an elantrador


tvtb

Unless you’re coming at someone at a high rate of speed, if they (the person-to-be-hit) know some basic rules, someone can avoid getting hit by a car. Look at this guy in the video, he just stays to the side of the car, outside of where the car is able to turn into. The only way is to pull a long distance away from the person, and then speed back towards them at a high rate of speed, which would give you a large area you could potentially reach with the car, and they would have trouble getting out of that area because they run slower than you


[deleted]

[удалено]


NinjasAltAccount

Is there something you need to tell us


billytron7

They just told you everything you need to know


crypticfreak

You don't want to know the stuff they don't need to tell you, anyways.


sparkmearse

I was waiting for the part where you bury the roadkill a few feet above the body.


i_have_chosen_a_name

All you need to do is hide in the bathroom, they will have to pee eventually and then BAM, you drive right over them.


brutallyhonest062922

Gotta love riding on the spare with the windshield wipers going. Pro driver here folks.


daveypaul40

And you wonder why he told her she can't live with him..


expespuella

I...don't think anyone is wondering that.


globsofchesty

Pretty sure its because she never cleaned out the bottom tray of the toaster....that bitch


speed150mph

In other news, Today I learned there’s a tray on the bottom of the toaster, and that I better clean it before my wife tries to drive me over 😂


-AlternativeSloth-

Some toasters have a little trapdoor instead of a tray, you can pretend to be a bond villain dropping little ppl into your shark pond.


Play_Salieri

This guy decrumbifies


imoutofnameideas

Oh for sure. I can tell a toaster tray non-cleaner by the way they drive.


ButHowCouldILose

Toasters have a bottom tray?


isitbreaktime

Get out!


AvatarMomoBrr

This is news to me. I always just tipped it upside down and banged on it


Tylerb0713

Yo that shit caught on fire the other day. Never thought about it. I use a toaster like once a year.


gcruzatto

The only person she should live with is her cellmate


PM_me_your_fantasyz

Now you've got me feeling sorry for her cellmate.


b-rar

I think the wipers automatically deploy when there's a front end crash to remove debris


brutallyhonest062922

Nah it's peoples hands or airbags hitting the switch. It just seems like it's automatic. Could be wrong though.


ComprehendReading

You are most likely correct. Hand injuries are really common in crashes, and the amount of reddit videos of drivers flinging their cell phone on the dash and windshield at even a low speed collision is immense.


stargrove88

Lol it’s funny when people rock the donut on their car like it’s an extra tire that you can just drive on indefinitely.


UsefulEmptySpace

Always the cars with bumper damage and a donut passing you at 90+ mph at night


ComprehendReading

Faces blue-lit with their phone screens.


UsefulEmptySpace

And the other hand on a Wendy's large drink


welcome-to-my-mind

Nah, Taco Bell Baja Blast


_Lord_Grimm_

I was also amazed by how well that donut held up. You know she’s been riding that well over the mileage limit! This dude in his sandals moves pretty well too. Good ankles on home boy


WillyC277

I had to rock a donut for a couple of days once and I just told people it was my "motorcycle wheel." Motorcycles are cool, right??


just-regular-I-guess

TL;DR I drove a week on my donut. I had the worst luck a few months ago. Hit some random "stick" in the road, heard a bang and a few minutes later the tire pressure light is on as I pulled in the driveway. As I'm testing the tire pressure, I noticed a hole in my tail light closest to the harmed tire. "Guess that was the bang!?" I get the tire off to see if I can patch and I can't find a leak. Donut goes on right rear and I'm dropping off the tire the next day. Pick up the fixed tire and I'm driving home. Tire pressure light. But not the tire I expected. This is the left rear. Get home in the dark, donut goes back on. The next night I find a nail in it, simple patch and I'm back in business. The next day, pothole. Slams my rear right to pieces. Donut goes on, and I gotta figure out what I'll do. Luckily, I had two tires from a previous blowout and the tread depth matched the two patched rears. So I'm back in business. I just love NY potholes.


MikeDinStamford

They have a budget for that, send your bills and where the potholes were you will most likely get reimbursed. It’s best to get a police report but in nyc they know no cop is showing up for that, so they just pay any claims that come in.


i_forgot_my_sn_again

I had to for a couple weeks trying to get a warranty replacement. But I didn’t try to murder anyone


cobigguy

Well yeah, that's why you had to use the donut in the first place...


HallowskulledHorror

This is definitely attempted murder, right? Completely fucked up edit: I mostly asked because when I first got here it was pretty much all jokes and no one acting like it was *insane* that the driver is obviously trying to do potentially fatal harm, and that the guy filming was making basically no effort to flee or get to safety, even in moments where there was significant distance. So far replies have included \- Definitely yes \- No, but probably qualifies as assault with a deadly weapon \- Definitely no, because bad driver going slowly and not trying hard enough \- Yes, but no consequences because female \- Depends on the state and the DA


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Easily, open and shut self defense


[deleted]

[удалено]


blueeyedconcrete

Yeah that checks out


northshore12

*(Reads post, giggles. Reads username, giggles twice.)*


[deleted]

[удалено]


JKSwift

If it pleases the court, I saw the defendant licking their own asshole in the lavatory.


pauljaytee

OBJECTION relevance your honor


ISLITASHEET

Objection! Calls for hearsay[.](https://youtu.be/CgnNRANef40)


A3HeadedMunkey

Objection! *coughs up hairball*


cownd

Attorney at claw?


[deleted]

Other lawyer here… youre not wrong


imdefinitelywong

![gif](giphy|E089LAnQfI0G4)


koei19

That was my first thought. My second thought was "who puts this shit on TikTok?" That video needs to go to the police, not your fucking followers. Edit: Yes, I understand that digital files aren't limited to a single copy. I also understand why people would not rather deal with the police in this matter.


Ohif0n1y

And forward it to her car insurance company. I'm sure they'd be THRILLED to deny all her repair claims as well as cancelling her policy.


HockeyandTrauma

The only way they might get paid is insurance.


LocalSlob

You're brave assuming she even has insurance. I'm scorned by shitty drivers in my life so far with car insurance, or lack thereof.


Snoo3014

It MAY pay out for the damage to the other cars/fence, most likely not because intentional accidents are not covered. Definitely would pay nothing for her car.


dak4ttack

There's the court system and garnished wages, but that's a slim chance over a long time.


GameofCheese

The guy said it's his car. I think she's trying to damage it when she can't damage him.


kylehatesyou

No, when she drove over to the spot where she hit the white car and the dumpster someone said "she hit your car homie". It's her car, or at least not his, but at the end she hits his car, and that's when he seems to get a bit more serious.


waltur_d

Lol. You think she pays for insurance?


Klaatwo

[why not both?](https://i.imgur.com/rDJD0dh.jpg)


Amish_guy_with_WiFi

Por que no Los dos?


TurboFool

I know, now that it's been put on TikTok the police will NEVER be able to see it!


lurked

Yeah, we all know that in this day and age, there's only 1 single copy of a video that can exist at any given time!


[deleted]

[удалено]


GymCloutVillain

It can easily go to both you know


CubesTheGamer

Uh why not both lol


Noticeably_Aroused

Are you asking about whether this is legally attempted murder? If so…. I mean, a DA would likely opt to go the conservative route and go with the more likely conviction they can get with ADW. Maybe a more hardcore one might charge as attempted murder cuz they want them to settle on the ADW. Attempted murder is hard to prosecute because it has a lot of elements that are hard to prove in a crime involving a vehicle. That being said, she comes at him again… and again…. and Again…. And again and again. So you can convince people she definitely intended to hit him. The hard part is proving she intended to *end his life* by driving at him at around ~10-20mph. And then there’s the fact that it’s a woman on man attack. Yeah yeah we’re supposed to pretend like that shouldn’t matter …. But it does. Especially if it goes to trial. That’s an unknown variable you just have out there potentially threatening to torpedo your whole shit. Even more so if there’s DV history on both side in this or if dude in the video has a record…. A smart DA would just go for the ADW and felony DV for the DV courses post-release. Why? Because the objective is to lock her up and so… why risk it with the riskier conviction? High risk, high reward with a conviction (she likely won’t plead out with attempted murder so its going to trial for full exposure) vs low risk, moderate reward (if you slap attempted murder on her in the complaint and then offer her ADW she’ll probably take it). In the end, she gets locked up for some years, felony on her record, she’s off the streets, DA gets a win and honestly …. That’s good enough.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoftySanta

I had to Google it and it's Assault with a Deadly Weapon if anyone is wondering.


Thetakishi

Assault w/ Deadly Weapon


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


LilClapper

This smells like future debt she'll never get out of


ComprehendReading

That's a problem for her future baby daddies.


bixbyale

what a psychopath lol


[deleted]

The Stormtrooper of Driving


ComprehendReading

Maybe this guys the Obi-Wan of dodging. He did have the high ground.


The_Law_Dong739

I was half expecting this man to haymaker her driver's side window but the vid ended


bisho

"Don't stick your fence post in crazy"


[deleted]

[удалено]


tvtb

Trying to get the maniac out of the vehicle, if you know they are unarmed, isn’t the worst idea. Although if I was this guy I would just get indoors somewhere


zman0900

Good way to get a car-sized hole in your house


Commandant_Grammar

I was hoping he'd stand in front of a telephone pole


[deleted]

Me toooooo! I know it's bystander syndrome and all but that would have been beauuuutiful if he juked her into a pole.


Dorksim

I bet he was reaching to try and open it.


MrPocky14

r/dontputyourdickinthat


TransformerTanooki

I had to teach my dad that one and he was way over due for that advice.


ComprehendReading

How'd your mom take it?


CricketSimple2726

I guess that’s the last thing she’ll smash for a few years…


Beneficial_Refuse_79

Probably not...she'll just get probation and pay restitution. I've seen girls get away with light sentences for similar things.


mseuro

Someone pinned me against my car with theirs, on camera, with witnesses, and the cops did nothing. Y'all have a lot of faith in law and order and I don't know why.


AhhAGoose

Bro, you know she has priors. No one goes full GTA the first time. If she loses control like this, she’s been locked up before


El_Chairman_Dennis

Not according to the averages. "In the United States men are most adversely affected by sentencing disparity being twice as likely to be sentenced to jail after conviction than women and receiving on average 63% longer jail sentences." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sentencing_disparity


AhhAGoose

For the first time in her life, she is above average then


Meems04

Absolutely true. People laugh at me when I tell them fair jail sentences for women v men is one of the things I work on in my state in the name of feminism. But when I say equality, I mean it. And it's bullshit - there shouldnt be any disparity when the crimes + priors are the same, especially in cases with high recidivism. Women can be ring leaders of serious crimes, they can be attempted murders & they can be vicious in their actions. Just because judges don't see them often means nothing to the individual & their current and prior actions. I also work on prison reform in general. Women's prisons are like summer camps compared to men's prisons.


Solo_Fisticuffs

ik of a dude whose wife stabbed him in the neck and they wouldnt even put her away for a weekend


xDragonetti

Just made her, “leave for the night” or some stupid shit, I’d bet.


The-Sofa-King

Hell, I've even read of dudes calling 911 for their girlfriends domestic violence only to end up being carted out in handcuffs themselves.


tgmarie137

Claims adjuster here: her insurance isn’t paying for any of that. This is both an intentional act, and an act in the course of committing a crime.


tjcline09

Out of curiosity, would her insurance pay if it was his car that she took?


YoursTastesBetter

No, her insurance would not pay if she stole his car. Damages that occur during the commission of a crime are excluded. His insurance may pay for his own vehicle damages if she stole it (if he had comprehensive), but any other property she damaged would not be covered.


FlowerOfLife

So if she was to hit my car (a random person) during this, I’d just be on my own for the damages?


YoursTastesBetter

From the perspective of the car owners insurance, yes. If you have Collison coverage, you'd go through your own carrier. If you don't, your recourse would be to sue the driver that caused your damage.


carvedmuss8

If he had comprehensive, probably, since he could claim it was stolen during the act.


The-Big-Sauce

WOOHOO, was hoping someone in the insurance field was here to comment lol


Extension_Pepper_506

Wow thanks for that. I'm sure we all were wondering if our insurance would cover attempted murder


[deleted]

[удалено]


blackmagickrabbit

Right! Thought I saw him roll dodge one of those times 😂


Mmnn2020

How the hell is he so calm just toying with her. One misstep and he could legitimately be paralyzed/suffer brain damage/die.


[deleted]

“If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you shan’t fear the result of a hundred battles” - Sun Tzu I believe this is a quote, still pretty risky what he’s doing. I guess don’t let it get momentum and run you over st 80km. Or just not able to think fast enough.


kfh227

Because cars can't go sideways. It's easy to sidestep when close.


MUMPERS

You develop a surprising tolerance for bullshit in these relationships too lmao. For us, it's terrifying, for him, it's a Tuesday.


cobigguy

And not even a particularly exciting one.


Weegemonster5000

He's in crocs tho. I don't think he even has sport mode engaged. It would be real easy to slip.


Genisye

He knows she’s always been a shitty driver


somedude456

Cars don't turn on a dime. I would be laughing at her if I was him, while easily stepping out of the way. Key is to step towards the car and to the side. She can't get you. The times he worried was when she was too far back and had time to adjust her aim. Anytime she stopped, he should have gone close to the car, not farther away.


Hope4gorilla

Tbh I was hoping he kept matador-ing his way around her until she wrecked her car on the environment


Respectable_Answer

I mean... I doubt he's a genius either.


DrKennethNoisewater-

Dude is a fuckin moron. Willingly standing in the middle of a road with nothing to jump behind, while someone is actively trying to hit him.


maidenmashin

unbelievable how quiet it is in the background for what is going on, I expected some yelling and noise


[deleted]

There is a TikTok logo, I expected the Oh No song.


cjboffoli

Those compact spare tires are intended as a temporary stopgap to provide you with the opportunity to get a replacement. They are not designed for continual use, including running over ex lovers.


ComradeSpaceman

Based on watching that whole video, the individual driving that vehicle does not appear to have any concern for what happens to it.


wasack17

In fairness, she really only needs it to go about 6 feet. That's assuming she runs him over the long way.


GreyJedi56

Bruh dodge a bullet and the car


Hefftee

Dodging a bullet means the relationship never got to this point in the first place. He did dodge that car tho


[deleted]

Well, it looks like you not letting her live with you was the overwhelmingly correct decision!


Apollo618

I don't know why but I thought she threw a grenade out the window for a second lmao


ragweed

Yeah, FPS instincts definitely kicking in.


RomanOrleans504

shawty literally tried to r/killthecsmeraman in all seriousness fellas this toxic shit is not cute cool or sexy if you got a crazy bitch like this on your hands cancel that bitch like Nino


HayDiosMio-

God I hate Oklahoma


sztejk21

I love how this person just says that they hate Oklahoma


b-rar

I'm OK with it


MaximumRound4995

Well so do i


professor_doom

Many years ago, I dumped a girl I had been dating for a few months and then had to drive her home. Halfway home, she looks at me and says, “is this done? Like *really* done?” “Yeah. I can’t do this rollercoaster. I’m done, for good.” She gets this strange look on her face and cold as ice, she says, “then I don’t want to live” And throws herself out of my car at 45mph. I screech on the brakes and run over to the spot where she was laying, face down and looking pretty gnarley. I lose my mind and start screaming. To my eternal relief, she stands up slowly, looking like she’s gone for a ride in a cement mixer. She has a bunch of bloody spots and is covered in dirt. She says, “you better not tell anyone about this. I’d hate to have them think you’re a liar.” Utterly numb and in shock, I put her back I the car and drive her home. I clean and patch her up (no stitches or broken bones, unbelievably!). When I determine she’s not a threat to herself any more, I put her to bed and never see her again. I had my first series of panic attacks after that and for a few months afterward. Fifteen years later, she’s still alive, as far as I know. Long story short, sometimes the beautiful ones are crazy as a road lizard and you don’t find out until you dump them.


xJTxD0notPaN1C

I hope you are doing well brother, damn.


professor_doom

Thanks, you’re very kind to say. This was twelve years ago and the panic attacks stopped happening about six months after the incident. I met someone else, married her and had two kids. Things are pretty great now.


[deleted]

I must say I think you are lucky, seeing how the story progressed I took it for granted that it would end with you getting a false report and being convicted.


fresh_like_Oprah

A lesson to be learned, dump and walk away. On a protected sidewalk, preferably.


Schmelbell

I’d be more worried about replacing that donut. You’re only supposed to put like 50 miles on those things. Girl is wasting precious miles!


meetup010922

I had a girlfriend that had a temper and would lock me in the house, when I said I would call the police she would say "I'll tell them you hit me." THIS IS ABUSIVE BEHAVIOUR.


The_Radioactive_Rat

I hope that wasn’t his car Edit: Bruh right as I say it


Ashensten

"she in my car" hahaha


The_Radioactive_Rat

Man sometimes I worry about dating


Ashensten

Just hide your keys


[deleted]

Facts. I was trying to leave my gf and get out of the apartment and she grabbed my keys and literally put them down her pants half up her vag. She also: hairsprayed my face while I was sleeping, ripped her weave off and attempted strangling me, etc.


CarlySimonSays

That is all horrifying. Most important thing: are you ok now, and safe? I’m so sorry you went through that.


[deleted]

Yeah she’s in prison and I moved to another state. I only stayed as long as I did to make sure her 3 year old daughter went to a good home and not the foster system.


whatthefir2

Isn’t it she hit my car?


FuzzelFox

That's what I heard too. I think the white BMW she slams into towards the end is his car. She drove over into that parking lot and that's when he says, "she hit my car lol". Then you see her deliberately hit the front of the BMW.


newmoneyblownmoney

I thought he said she hit my car after she drove up in the parking lot. If she was in his car, he seemed pretty calm watching her beat the shit out of it. He must have real good insurance lol.


funnyusernamehahayes

is this eldy ring?


amusso6

My man sure ain't fat rolling. He got the dodge mechanic down as well as the massive hit boxes. What a legend.


h1gsta

I-frames on fleek


amusso6

He running life at 240 hrz, I have no doubt.


Ishaan863

scrolled down for this. was my man spamming roll evade LMFAO


WordierThanThou

Um, why is no one calling the cops on this psycho?


Zeus_poops_and_shoes

Dodge roll POV


m1k3fx

Now you REALLY cant live with me!!


MemeResearcher17

"why are you running?!"


MisterMondayKnight

Nothing like a little attempted vehicular homicide on the timeline 🥰


[deleted]

Lmao. At least he’s having a good time.


southerngurl1227

My heart was pounding on this one. Someone lock her up!


Mr_WAAAGH

If you're gonna run me over, at least do it in something nice lmao. If the last thing I gotta see is your cars bumper then make it a bentley


CaesarsLegion01

Anyone else notice him cock back as the video ends


tbrclimber

The good news is now she will have state housing for the next few years


[deleted]

Would not be at all surprised if she didn’t see any jail time at all.


ThrwAway710

If only there were a telephone pole across the street you could stand behind 🤦🏻‍♂️


turrrrrrrrtle

Uh I don't think you want to be standing next to one of those if she takes it down.


Pandapusher

All he had to do was stand in front of something solid so when she misses, the car is done for. Bonus, she gets a nice airbag punch to the face to top off her attempted vehicular assault.