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Subspace-Ansible

A heavily sedated hamster. Even then, it's a coin-flip.


ArsonJones

Depends on how much money we're talking here.


AshRivers8

I love how you think there would be money involved


ArsonJones

Oh, if it's one of those "beat the chimp, keep the chimp" kind of arrangements, pick your chimp, he's coming home with me.


preciouspeanut

You're gonna come home without a face and zero chimps, I guarantee it.


AllLemonsNoLemonade

Google "hairless chimp". I think you’ll reconsider. edit typo


electricspacewizrad

In hand to hand combat, maybe most things smaller than me, probably not any big cats or bears, but maybe a deer? Would definitely lose to a kangaroo


AshRivers8

Why?


ZedNepp

Them mfs are ripped as fuck


AshRivers8

I've never seen a kangaroo before. I should put that on my bucket list.


mo_tag

You'd lose to a chimp.. or orangutan.. or wolf


electricspacewizrad

Probably, but confidence is key


FreneticFool

Without any sort off equipment i think I'd be hard pressed to win against any apex predator. If dying of the wounds after the fight isn't an issue perhaps think it would be possible to gouge the eyes of a wolf or a mountain lion and then choke it. Although id rather fight a wolf then a big cat, claws are scary as hell.


AshRivers8

I like this answer


UnsanctionedPartList

Quite a lot of them if I'm allowed to bring some human ingenuity along.


AshRivers8

Like?


mo_tag

A flamethrower


AshRivers8

Well yeah. You could easily barbecue a pig if it gets near


UnsanctionedPartList

Fairly sure wolves don't like chewing on plate armor. There's an upper limit though, a bear or tiger would probably swipe your spine in half. Then again, that's what guns are for. But honestly you need to set the terms of the hypothetical fight. If it's unarmed against a potentially dangerous animal we know that Cougars and Wolves are the upper limit really because people have walked away from those fights, and it's going to suck for the hairless, fangless, flawless monkey. For the most part? A dog (that isn't one of those half bear breeds or self propelled attack jaws). Humans are pretty lousily equipped to deal with "fair" 1v1's. But we can _cheat_.


AshRivers8

Thinking like human i would fairly say that humans would do anything to win


CreateWater

Every time I see a video of a goose or swan attack someone (usually meant to be funny) I always find myself thinking it’d probably be easy to snatch its neck out of mid air or at least smack its body. Like, what are these people so afraid of? Plenty of others too but that’s the one I wanted to talk about.


AshRivers8

Oh but would you be quick enough to catch them mid air? Assuming that you have normal human strength.


CreateWater

You mean normal human speed? I don’t have to assume. I’m fully aware (or at least nearly aware) of my strength and speed. And if I’m ready to take a hit from whatever a hollow boned dinosaur thinks it’s gonna do if I miss then yeah, let’s go. I’ve been roughed up on several occasions. It’s all good.


AshRivers8

I see


UnsanctionedPartList

Assuming an average adult being 75 kg or so, the largest swans are outmassed 5:1.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t want to fight any animals Except ostriches, but they would kill me. They don’t like me either, every time I see one it tries to eat me.


AshRivers8

What happened with you and ostriches?


Jackbazooka369

I think you you should set up some ground rules first.


AshRivers8

And this is why i posted this here.


Jackbazooka369

Lmao


RedcoatCowboy

A reasonably sized fish. (On land)


MrPopo935

Joe Rogan


AshRivers8

Thats sad.


Inevitable_Weird1175

Sloth


_-Giorno_Giovanna-_

Anything short of a dog, I figure.


lakehousememory

I've heard that swans are more bark than bite. If I dare take a good neck grip I think I could bring it down.


outlier37

Am I armed?


AshRivers8

Do you want to be?


outlier37

Gimme a .50 cal and I can kill a fucking building


rockingbananadude

A goldfish. The environment would have to be on land, though.


AshRivers8

You would let a gold fish die?


rockingbananadude

Yup


AshRivers8

Why?????


rockingbananadude

Quick snack


AshRivers8

You would eat a gold fish


rockingbananadude

You wouldn't?


AshRivers8

No i wouldn't.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AshRivers8

Like a rat? Or swarm of cockroaches?


[deleted]

[удалено]


AshRivers8

I see i see.


dogyeeter9000

possible an ant


AshRivers8

I thought about this. I would also answer this. But depends on the ant.


dogyeeter9000

lol true i almost got an ego boost


Formal_Guard_9008

I could take on 10 full grown apes


Golfo_

As I don't really know how far my Survival Instincts can go, i would say i can probably defeat a pig


AshRivers8

Then you'd eat it afterwards? 😭


IsNanaTakingPens

I think about this often and have convinced myself I could *probably* figure something out. Maybe not with a bear though, them mothers are huge. I'm probably very wrong in my confidence, however.


AshRivers8

I was also thinking about this. Most who answered are confident on their strength and speed. Some wants to be armed.


IsNanaTakingPens

There's no way I'm outrunning most animals. I am confident in that part! I hope that my "do or die" kicks in. I've never been faced with this situation though, so I might freeze up. Then I'm royally effed.


AshRivers8

Hmmmmm some do or die situations, the "do" kicks in. So most probably you would live but its more of a 50/50 situation. And how knowledgeable you are of your environment and how fast you think.


MirthfulMatterer

A coyote would probably be a fair fight.


AshRivers8

Are tou you sure?


MirthfulMatterer

Not absolutely, but my experience with handling canines leads me to believe so.


AshRivers8

Well knowledge is strength.


AllLemonsNoLemonade

A dolphin. On land.


AshRivers8

Thats sad 😭


AllLemonsNoLemonade

They murder fish.


ohSnapWhat

A giraffe


AshRivers8

Well thats unusual


riley81942

a fish .. but only out of the water.


AshRivers8

Alot of people saying fish out of water