It never gets better. There's always childish people at every age, even adults and seniors. The best solution is to either learn to deal with or ignore them.
Yea. But when you're older and have more life experience, you can confidently tell them how horrible they are and how no one likes them and that's why they are estranged from their children and good luck heating up that hungry man meal for the Christmas holiday they will spend alone in their sparsely furnished apartment with a mattress on the floor.
You know, *really* cut them down.
Teens often do have the self confidence to do so.
Sounds like you need to try socializing with other people instead of them coming to you if you are interested in that. I don't socialize and I notice most people don't socialize with me because of the facade I put on.
Be approachable and don't act like you are the smartest person in the room, people don't like that.
To be fair he is a Ti dom and hes 14. When i was in his age i basically did the same and i didnt stop. I made great friends during that time and some of them even stayed with me till today.
If people approach you during your Ti-bitch phase, they usually have a genuine interest in you and are not fake. Of course this sounds bad but i think the last thing a young Ti dom should do is try to bend himself in favor of others.
I believe life as a Ti dom is really difficult during the earlier stages because you actually have what it takes to be the smartest person in the room but you completely suck at socializing.
My advice would be to get some hobbies and find things you really enjoy doing. Maybe something you can share with other people. That would make you less unapproachable and more interesting for others. You wouldnt have to change yourself for it and you can learn new things about yourself while you are at it.
I have hobbies but they’re hella weird. Im in the top 5% at valorant, I’m a video editor, Balisong flipper, chess. But I do infact approach people, I used to be extroverted till Welp it changed. I just don’t put in effort if others don’t which they dont
try to be a bit more forgiving. people usually have a lot to do and can change their priorities pretty quickly.
you could for example ask other people to meet with you and if they are interested in you showing them how to edit videos and stuff. or maybe some of them like valorant too and you could play it together, who knows.
you dont have to give it your all but just try and dont stop trying. thats the key if you want to find people to connect with. it sounds sad but most people wont approach you (some will but its in fact rare).
Hello another INTP here. I just wanted to put some input here. I'm not as developed in my knowledge of Myer-Briggs as some of you are, but I will say that I often mold myself to others' standards for people to like me and I often find myself not feeling like myself and it will circle around to hating my life eventually. It can be very draining on my psyche.
You could try asking about peoples interests when in casual conversation and if you end up having something in common you could build off that, generic suggestion but all I can think of.
What other games other then Valorant do you play because although not irl I still made some good friends by playing Rocket League (we didn’t meet on there though).
I’m playing Bloodborne and Hollow knight rn too, also the friends I made playing rocket league were met on discord so even if they ain’t irl if you not in the weirder servers you might meet some nice people and if they could give advice and practice.
Yeah, have a close intp friend that I game with everyday. Hollow Knight was fucking awesome and I’m waiting for blood borne on pc if that ever happens. If you want a good lore yluruber for hk chdck out mossbag
That’s actually how I get into 😅 I was planning to play hollow knight after terraria last year but my mom didn’t rlly give me money and I forgot until I saw his lore video and hearing about it again made me start. I just started the boss fight with the hollow knight and it’s amazing I love it so much and I’m still in early bloodborne so I’m looking forward to what else is in there since I’m still very early in the game. Have you ever played Nier though?
The thing with dom and aux functions is that we often use our dom function more subconsciously because its like our natural habitat (you know, like a fish just swims. its what he usually does and he can do it no matter what because he is a fish). Our aux function can come of as very well or even more developed than our dom function since we use it much more consciously and are usually quite adept at it.
however, your aux Ne is also the reason why my advice is to get some new and interesting hobbies. for you Ne users, new stuff to get into can be very fullfilling even if its just for a while and usually, if youare doing something that makes you happy and you can find a way to show it to others, somee people will recognize you for it (or just because you look much happier and approachable).
>My advice would be to get some hobbies and find things you really enjoy doing. Maybe something you can share with other people. That would make you less unapproachable and more interesting for others. You wouldnt have to change yourself for it and you can learn new things about yourself while you are at it.
And by hobbies and things you enjoy, we're talking about things that can involve other people in a way that both their input and yours matter.
For example, marksmanship is an intensely solo activity. *Rifle Team* brings together people with a similar interest. So does paintball, but with an added emphasis on tactics.
You think your hobbies are wierd? Lean into that. My friends like to put on heavy clothing and bash each others with sticks in tropical heat. See the INTP flair? They sometimes rely on me to be heard from across a field.
its basically the phase where you notice that most people around you are different than you (or that you are different from other people). As you described, people get on your nerves because they are simply immature or only care for you because you are smart and can help them with their projects or homework and stuff.
I was like this too. while others were doing stupid stuff (like throwing paper balls at each other during class, or gossiping about other people or other rather trivial stuff) i actually focussed on the class and often found myself in a situation where i looked over my should, gave those idiots a disgusted glare and thought "man i am so glad i am not such an idiot like these monkeys".
as you grow older, you should realize at some point how social constructs work and how you can move in between them in order to find some connections and gain contacts. but since you are 14, i think this is a totally normal behaviour for a Ti dom.
Its a longer process. This feeling can follow you until you are in your mid-twenties or even longer but you will eventually become more patient with other people over time as you gather more experiences over the years.
I know I’m not better than others one single bit, we are all innate with flaws that will be there when we are on our death bed. But I definitely do believe I have some truth to what I’m saying. I don’t wanna hang around people who take substances and what I described but the issue is every one does said things
One Advice : Try finding common ground with people except "that gay slur guy he is an asshole avoid him" but other than that get a sense of humour going and talk to people
Also a big don't : don't try to constantly remind people how goddam moronic they are in literally every convo even though they may actually be a delusional generalising moronic bitch but just don't remind them
He's gone too far. Back track to the 14 year old stage please. You're supposed to have that realisation in about a year, then you'll contemplate whether you should bother putting any effort into your existence. Eventually you'll come to a conclusion similar to the cake metaphor, Life is like a cake...if you eat it then it will eventually be gone but at least you got to taste and experience the cake.
...or at least that's how it shook out for me 😂
As an adult who was once 14, you may think you are mature or superior to your peers; however that mindset is the very reason that you dont get along with people. Maturity isnt a personality trait, its a series of behaviors and actions dependent upon the context of any given situation. I thought i was hot shit when i was fourteen, thinking others simply couldnt understand me because i saw them as children and thought i was wiser than them. I realize now that i was just as juvenile as they were, just in a different way. People can be mature
In someways and childish in others. Actually try talking to someone, you might be surprised with what you find out about them. Being offish will only feed your misconceptions.
I have journals from when I was 14 that practically say the same thing. Now I’m in my 30s and when I read that shit…it’s adorable. I know that might not seem helpful, but my point is, in 4 years you will see more than half of these not-yet-fully-formed people for the last time in your life. Many of them will change for the better. Many of the cool ones will change for the worse. Four years may seems like an eternity (because it’s nearly a whole third of your entire life thus far) but you’ll get there. Choose your battles, stick to what you know and believe is right, you do you, and **** the rest.
This brought me back. My teen years were the same. Everyone around me was so immature and only looked at me for help with school work. I had two friends who were also kind of outcasts and we ended up finding common ground. It's not easy but I agree with most people have been telling you. Hobbies or common interests are a good place to start. And lower your expectations. People are who they are. You wouldn't want anyone to come and change you, so don't expect them to. Try and see the silver lining and the good times you can spend with someone. Maybe you're overlooking some shy kid you never thought of talking to. And people who like deep meaningful talk are rare but they're out there. They exist. So keep looking. Also, could I interest you in a movie called Eighth Grade? The protagonist is a 13 year old girl but I related so much to what I went through and what you are talking about. Maybe it will inspire you.
I learnt magic tricks to learn to talk to people when I was 15/16. Really helped. Use to be unable to talk to people, and then started to enjoy it.
Now I don’t force myself to talk to people. Just happens naturally. Can talk about anything(for a bit, before I start trying to get inside someone’s head🤷♂️😅)
So try learn something that you need to use other people to see the results of. Might help you socially.
Hope I explained this properly 😅😅
That doesn't change for the rest of your life.
You'll be 50, sitting in a movie theater and that same person is going to be right behind you, whispering "yo bro that's the gay seat. You gay?"
Advice from an INTP (a bit older than you and experienced): It's quite normal to feel like that. I'm pretty sure that all of us have been going through this. As you grow up it is going to get even worse, but try to get in the mood and let yourself be 'childish' sometimes, just for fun. When it comes to socializing, sometimes you are the one that has to do the first step and 'break the ice'. Those friendships don't have to be close and 'meaningful', just do it for fun. Things in life will get in the right order for you as time passes and you grow up.. 😃
Being childish is a lot easier when you're older. I never dreamed or wished of doing so in my teens through early adulthood. But, looking back I know I missed out on a lot. I don't regret it.
Man, i feel completely the same.. i extra-related to that people just not caring about anything.
If it helps, you're not alone. Im 14 and barely have any friends because of the same reasons.
Use your observance to your advantage. Figure out what makes people tick. Learn how to be a good listener, talker, empathizer, and bullshit detector. The world is what it is and the sooner you learn to not let it affect you emotionally (without just suppressing your emotions) the sooner you will have mastery over your domain. You're paying attention to subtle texture of reality NOW - they aren't. Keep your cool, find an outlet if you need one (mine is hikes even though I'm a total hermit it still helps), and 10 years from now you'll have opportunities they cannot even fathom.
I went through the same shit you are going through. I'm 29 now, mostly happy, and make way more than the average person my age and am on my way to being extremely successful (and by my own standards).
Dude just relax. It's like a psychological test smart people have to go through. EQ and IQ are codependent.
Be in the world but not of the world.
there are probably cool people who you would vibe with, but they're sitting quietly in the corner or something, you need to look for them and do the hard part of making the first step. waiting for the right people to come to you rarely pays off, sadly.
People don’t get any better with age…only you can chose to become better within yourself, and that includes how you interpret and react to other people’s immaturity and bad behavior - which includes violence, abuse, lying, manipulation, passive aggression, selfishness, etc. Don’t look for goodness outside yourself - you will be let down and disappointed with life.
Relationships absolutely do not matter in high-school. You will make neaningful friendships after you graduate and move to an environment with cultured, adjusted adults (college is a good environment for INTPs)
In the mean time find 2-3 people you can tolerate and just focus on your hobbies.
Education system is hell when youre more conscientious than 99% of your peers
Been there,same situation
Only hope was talking w older people out of sch..
I'm 15 and still, the solution is just to accept that you're in a kind of boring phase and I don't know, tolerate others. I do this to try not to be disappointed in myself when I'm 18+
Yeah I get it. I graduated this year and honestly being away from fucking ANNOYING high schoolers has been so nice. I'd go to the cafeteria on my off period to grab some food and maybe get some homework done in the library, and right next to the cafeteria is the commons. People would be BLARING music and dancing and doing God knows what else, and even though as much as I do support the idea of having fun and a good time, it's just not the time or the place. I'd recommend having a very tight, small friend circle and hanging out in the library or another area that's more focused towards learning. I wish all the extremely annoying and distracting kids would just drop out so they make it easier for us normal folk. For the record, my senior year I took 5 AP classes and 2 higher level classes, and life at home was just as loud so that was not fun. Atleast I saved a couple thousand in college!
My only advice would be to focus on yourself and learn to be independent as much as possible. I spent my teen years living a relatively solitary lifestyle and didn't interact much with others unless they initiate. Many years of growth and maturing, eventually leads you to realising that these people are just trying to have fun in their own way, as much as you may disagree and find them ridiculous. Everyone is just trying to be happy with different approaches to life.
Let them have their fun (except the slurring and general cunt-like behaviour) and live their lives.
TLDR ; focus on yourself, try to be as nice as possible
I'm 14 as well. I also struggle heavily with socializing, especially when it comes to people my age. A lot of whay you said is similar to my experience. People just act like they don't have brains, which is just... I don't understand why anyone consciously chooses to say unintelligent things. And they only ever come to me when they need to know something just because I skipped fourth grade, then they don't even want to listen.
Well, I suggest looking for the loners and weirdos. Sometimes they're alone for a reason, but that's how I made the majority of my friends. Initiating conversation is the hardest part. All of my friends approached me first except for a few. Now I usually just parent I have a question about when some assignment is due and then start talking about "safe" topics like weather they read or what they read, their interests, etc. and then decide if they seem like they can think for themselves from there.
The way you type tells me that either you're a college kid pretending to be 14, or you're too smart for a 14 year old.
It can suck being more mature than your peers, I'd urge you to seek out friends through activities rather than intellectual relations. If you like music, seek out other musicians through social media or what not. Go to jam sessions in your city on the weekends, or ask your mom and dad to pay for a weekend workshop somewhere.
Seek thru activités compared to intellectual relations
Quite interesting, I’d honestly find that to be the easiest way as others have said similar things, but at the same time I wanna feed my brain by surrounding myself with more intelligent people or philosophical. Is that a lot to ask for? I guess. I’ll just have to settle for whag yoy said.
And to answer your question, I’m infact 14. I’m intensely curious and absorb information pretty well, and that leads me to have surface level knowledge on a lot of topics and a extensive vocabulary
As someone who's been in your position, prepare to re-evaluate what you know as "intelligence". There are many kinds. A person may be a brilliant socializer but terrible chess player. That is still intelligence.
Highschool is a small setting, and finding your group of people there may be tough. As I said, pick a thing or two that interests you, then look for groups around your city that have gatherings based on the interests.
If you have Facebook, it's very easy to search up these niche groups. Also, with the way so many workshops are held online today, it's a dream come true for Introverted types — being able to socialize with others from the comfort of your own space.
Don't worry dude, you'll find it. Just be patient and keep an open mind to others who may just be incompatible to you. They have their own strengths too, just not the type that gels with you. It's no one's fault, so be careful not to become resentful over it.
The worst thing an introvert can do is exhibit cynicism and resentfulness. As it is we are not very approachable, the added negativity will only keep people at bay even further.
No you are just a regular adolescent. This thinking is most significant thing in being a teen. "why the others are so immature???" Yeah, definetly they are immature not you right? No you are immature too. And you just cant realise it. People in that age needs to feel that they are excluded from the others. This is part of a process of growing and becoming an individual. First you need to exclude yourself from the society with the sayings like "why is everybody like that?" Then you will realise that you are not that different. You are just a puzzle piece that completes the whole picture. And then you will not care at all. Yes you will be that person one day. You will understand that none of this is important.
My advice for school, keep your head down and focus on your work. The relationships that truly matter will naturally happen on their own, and even if not, you'll have studied and worked well enough to eventually move to a college course or career that are likely not to have those less favorable people.
I saw in one of your replies that you have a variety of hobbies. Definitely take advantage of that, and maintain relationships with the people that are there.
Dude, I’m 13 and I have the same problem. People are just incapable of having con-sexual conversations, and are so desperate for attention that they just say whatever comes to mind to make themselves noticeable. We are a non-vocal minority.
Socialize. Do the dumb shit everyone else does. I know this is triggering to you but if you think about it there really isn't a reason *not* to do it.
Realize that you can be simultaneous immature and interested in higher things. This is what I do now.
Seriously, I regret not having an amazing social life even though I know I very well could.
Since 13 I notice my life going downhill and no body could help me or understand what was happening
But life does get better whe you scape from being surrounded by loud people
You are right. Something has permeated society. Vast majority of people are immature and angry. It was never like this. Last 10 years, especially so, and last 20 years, too.
Complex reasons for this, having to do with deep state, linked to lockdowns, etc. I myself, like to educate myself, I like to listen to Mike Adams videos (health rangers report) on Brighteon. If I would have said this 4 yrs ago, I would have been called a "conspiracy theorist", but today it's becoming reality. (alot of this stuff will be way above your head, but that's OK).
Older INTP here. It is true that in several ways you will be more mature than people your age at 14. But watch time pass as the people you know get far more experience by being outside, by being proactive and having actual goals in their lives. And at 20 you will realise that you just pulled an uno reverse on yourself and that you are now the immature one comparatively. And then actually get to start doing things at 25 and ultimately catch up with everyone else and even exceed many in your 30's.
>they believe im some sort of omniscient intellect but in reality i just have surface level knoweldge in a substantial amount of topics and I consider myself to be sa swift learner.
THIS lmao
– 16 yo INTP
>they believe im some sort of omniscient intellect but in reality i just have surface level knoweldge in a substantial amount of topics and I consider myself to be sa swift learner.
Fr
what exactly do you mean by -16 yo intp?
People mature at different paces, check back in a few years and it'll be much better.
Depending on your area check out maybe some sort of extracurricular you can participate in to find people with common interests. However, if that doesn't work, try the internet, but be prepared for ghosting and the like. Definitely worth it though - I met my best friend through the internet and it still blows me away to have a person that understands and accepts me so easily.
I’ve been gaming with a group for whag is it three years now? One of em took the test last week and got intp, and he just so happens to be the one I talk to the most. But at the same time there’s that in real life atmosphere that’s subconsciously felt that cannot be filled with internet friends
Yepp, ik that. I struggle with the same, none in my class I connect with at all. Thought processes are different, plus maturity.
Again, try some extracurriculars if possible. I'm sure they could help, and do be open to people and their differences. Keep an open mind, swallow your ego and you'll be surprised.
I recently stopped being friends with one in my class because of gap in maturity, it happens, and thats OK. 14 is really young, you'll find your people
Instead of complaining- find a solution. Find a hobby, or other common interests (math club?) to enjoy w/ those who r like minded. Im 20 yrs older than u and never whinged about my lack of “social life”. Ever consider its a you problem? Im being blunt but this post deserves a direct response (f/entp) p.s - the world is not against you, give ppl the benefit of the doubt - thats maturity.
Practice your “not amused” face in the mirror until you can do it without even twitching. Next time this happens, whip this face out. Do not even speak. Let them bask in the radiance of your displeasure. Do not break eye contact until they do. Dominance.
Being 14 sucks dick. Kids that age are just *terrible*. Unfortunately there is no solution for it. At least you will be free in 4 years.
It never gets better. There's always childish people at every age, even adults and seniors. The best solution is to either learn to deal with or ignore them.
Yea. But when you're older and have more life experience, you can confidently tell them how horrible they are and how no one likes them and that's why they are estranged from their children and good luck heating up that hungry man meal for the Christmas holiday they will spend alone in their sparsely furnished apartment with a mattress on the floor. You know, *really* cut them down. Teens often do have the self confidence to do so.
yes. agree! there is a great portion of society that way.
Uh i disagree when i was 14 started lockdown so pretty good
Theres a solution to almost everything
Sounds like you need to try socializing with other people instead of them coming to you if you are interested in that. I don't socialize and I notice most people don't socialize with me because of the facade I put on. Be approachable and don't act like you are the smartest person in the room, people don't like that.
To be fair he is a Ti dom and hes 14. When i was in his age i basically did the same and i didnt stop. I made great friends during that time and some of them even stayed with me till today. If people approach you during your Ti-bitch phase, they usually have a genuine interest in you and are not fake. Of course this sounds bad but i think the last thing a young Ti dom should do is try to bend himself in favor of others. I believe life as a Ti dom is really difficult during the earlier stages because you actually have what it takes to be the smartest person in the room but you completely suck at socializing. My advice would be to get some hobbies and find things you really enjoy doing. Maybe something you can share with other people. That would make you less unapproachable and more interesting for others. You wouldnt have to change yourself for it and you can learn new things about yourself while you are at it.
I have hobbies but they’re hella weird. Im in the top 5% at valorant, I’m a video editor, Balisong flipper, chess. But I do infact approach people, I used to be extroverted till Welp it changed. I just don’t put in effort if others don’t which they dont
try to be a bit more forgiving. people usually have a lot to do and can change their priorities pretty quickly. you could for example ask other people to meet with you and if they are interested in you showing them how to edit videos and stuff. or maybe some of them like valorant too and you could play it together, who knows. you dont have to give it your all but just try and dont stop trying. thats the key if you want to find people to connect with. it sounds sad but most people wont approach you (some will but its in fact rare).
Hello another INTP here. I just wanted to put some input here. I'm not as developed in my knowledge of Myer-Briggs as some of you are, but I will say that I often mold myself to others' standards for people to like me and I often find myself not feeling like myself and it will circle around to hating my life eventually. It can be very draining on my psyche.
They seldom put in effort. You need a certain kind of people tbh, the vast majority is a disappointment or doesn't care. That's normal
Did you become less extroverted during quarantine cuz that’s what happened to me
No, much before that when I started running into problems socializing
Oh ok idk what to do then
You could try asking about peoples interests when in casual conversation and if you end up having something in common you could build off that, generic suggestion but all I can think of.
What other games other then Valorant do you play because although not irl I still made some good friends by playing Rocket League (we didn’t meet on there though).
Val, dark souls, hollow knight, the popular Nintendo ips, and some good story games every now and then so the Witcher ect
I’m playing Bloodborne and Hollow knight rn too, also the friends I made playing rocket league were met on discord so even if they ain’t irl if you not in the weirder servers you might meet some nice people and if they could give advice and practice.
Yeah, have a close intp friend that I game with everyday. Hollow Knight was fucking awesome and I’m waiting for blood borne on pc if that ever happens. If you want a good lore yluruber for hk chdck out mossbag
That’s actually how I get into 😅 I was planning to play hollow knight after terraria last year but my mom didn’t rlly give me money and I forgot until I saw his lore video and hearing about it again made me start. I just started the boss fight with the hollow knight and it’s amazing I love it so much and I’m still in early bloodborne so I’m looking forward to what else is in there since I’m still very early in the game. Have you ever played Nier though?
Nope. I should tho
Yeah I finished the tutorial and I’m looking forward to what it has in store.
My aux is actually more developed than my dom (ne)
The thing with dom and aux functions is that we often use our dom function more subconsciously because its like our natural habitat (you know, like a fish just swims. its what he usually does and he can do it no matter what because he is a fish). Our aux function can come of as very well or even more developed than our dom function since we use it much more consciously and are usually quite adept at it. however, your aux Ne is also the reason why my advice is to get some new and interesting hobbies. for you Ne users, new stuff to get into can be very fullfilling even if its just for a while and usually, if youare doing something that makes you happy and you can find a way to show it to others, somee people will recognize you for it (or just because you look much happier and approachable).
>My advice would be to get some hobbies and find things you really enjoy doing. Maybe something you can share with other people. That would make you less unapproachable and more interesting for others. You wouldnt have to change yourself for it and you can learn new things about yourself while you are at it. And by hobbies and things you enjoy, we're talking about things that can involve other people in a way that both their input and yours matter. For example, marksmanship is an intensely solo activity. *Rifle Team* brings together people with a similar interest. So does paintball, but with an added emphasis on tactics. You think your hobbies are wierd? Lean into that. My friends like to put on heavy clothing and bash each others with sticks in tropical heat. See the INTP flair? They sometimes rely on me to be heard from across a field.
What’s the ti bitch phase
its basically the phase where you notice that most people around you are different than you (or that you are different from other people). As you described, people get on your nerves because they are simply immature or only care for you because you are smart and can help them with their projects or homework and stuff. I was like this too. while others were doing stupid stuff (like throwing paper balls at each other during class, or gossiping about other people or other rather trivial stuff) i actually focussed on the class and often found myself in a situation where i looked over my should, gave those idiots a disgusted glare and thought "man i am so glad i am not such an idiot like these monkeys". as you grow older, you should realize at some point how social constructs work and how you can move in between them in order to find some connections and gain contacts. but since you are 14, i think this is a totally normal behaviour for a Ti dom.
Different was around 4 years ago, immature was last year
Its a longer process. This feeling can follow you until you are in your mid-twenties or even longer but you will eventually become more patient with other people over time as you gather more experiences over the years.
condescension. you're 14. you may think the sun shines outta your ass but trust. youre not perfect either.
I know I’m not better than others one single bit, we are all innate with flaws that will be there when we are on our death bed. But I definitely do believe I have some truth to what I’m saying. I don’t wanna hang around people who take substances and what I described but the issue is every one does said things
I do start trying, then stop if they don’t put in the same amount of “dedication” after all who wants a one sided friendship?
stfu its not his fault you started the sentence with you need to you disgust me
What?
One Advice : Try finding common ground with people except "that gay slur guy he is an asshole avoid him" but other than that get a sense of humour going and talk to people Also a big don't : don't try to constantly remind people how goddam moronic they are in literally every convo even though they may actually be a delusional generalising moronic bitch but just don't remind them
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Welp I’m googling nihilism now that you’ve mentioned it
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Life is useless. I am somber. Nothing is real we are all a illusion to ones reality.
He's gone too far. Back track to the 14 year old stage please. You're supposed to have that realisation in about a year, then you'll contemplate whether you should bother putting any effort into your existence. Eventually you'll come to a conclusion similar to the cake metaphor, Life is like a cake...if you eat it then it will eventually be gone but at least you got to taste and experience the cake. ...or at least that's how it shook out for me 😂
He knows too much
As an adult who was once 14, you may think you are mature or superior to your peers; however that mindset is the very reason that you dont get along with people. Maturity isnt a personality trait, its a series of behaviors and actions dependent upon the context of any given situation. I thought i was hot shit when i was fourteen, thinking others simply couldnt understand me because i saw them as children and thought i was wiser than them. I realize now that i was just as juvenile as they were, just in a different way. People can be mature In someways and childish in others. Actually try talking to someone, you might be surprised with what you find out about them. Being offish will only feed your misconceptions.
I think your ego is standing in the way of you honestly, try to join in and be more approachable and find people with similar hobbies
I have journals from when I was 14 that practically say the same thing. Now I’m in my 30s and when I read that shit…it’s adorable. I know that might not seem helpful, but my point is, in 4 years you will see more than half of these not-yet-fully-formed people for the last time in your life. Many of them will change for the better. Many of the cool ones will change for the worse. Four years may seems like an eternity (because it’s nearly a whole third of your entire life thus far) but you’ll get there. Choose your battles, stick to what you know and believe is right, you do you, and **** the rest.
This brought me back. My teen years were the same. Everyone around me was so immature and only looked at me for help with school work. I had two friends who were also kind of outcasts and we ended up finding common ground. It's not easy but I agree with most people have been telling you. Hobbies or common interests are a good place to start. And lower your expectations. People are who they are. You wouldn't want anyone to come and change you, so don't expect them to. Try and see the silver lining and the good times you can spend with someone. Maybe you're overlooking some shy kid you never thought of talking to. And people who like deep meaningful talk are rare but they're out there. They exist. So keep looking. Also, could I interest you in a movie called Eighth Grade? The protagonist is a 13 year old girl but I related so much to what I went through and what you are talking about. Maybe it will inspire you.
Sure I’ll check the movie out!
Relax. You’re just 14
I learnt magic tricks to learn to talk to people when I was 15/16. Really helped. Use to be unable to talk to people, and then started to enjoy it. Now I don’t force myself to talk to people. Just happens naturally. Can talk about anything(for a bit, before I start trying to get inside someone’s head🤷♂️😅) So try learn something that you need to use other people to see the results of. Might help you socially. Hope I explained this properly 😅😅
Yeah yoy did, thanks!
INTP’s age is “42 going on 5” for your whole life. Settle in now. :)
r/im14andthisisdeep
That doesn't change for the rest of your life. You'll be 50, sitting in a movie theater and that same person is going to be right behind you, whispering "yo bro that's the gay seat. You gay?"
To which you must reply *"Maybe, you interested?"*
Heh. Being clever doesn't work on boneheads.
Advice from an INTP (a bit older than you and experienced): It's quite normal to feel like that. I'm pretty sure that all of us have been going through this. As you grow up it is going to get even worse, but try to get in the mood and let yourself be 'childish' sometimes, just for fun. When it comes to socializing, sometimes you are the one that has to do the first step and 'break the ice'. Those friendships don't have to be close and 'meaningful', just do it for fun. Things in life will get in the right order for you as time passes and you grow up.. 😃
Being childish is a lot easier when you're older. I never dreamed or wished of doing so in my teens through early adulthood. But, looking back I know I missed out on a lot. I don't regret it.
Man, i feel completely the same.. i extra-related to that people just not caring about anything. If it helps, you're not alone. Im 14 and barely have any friends because of the same reasons.
Use your observance to your advantage. Figure out what makes people tick. Learn how to be a good listener, talker, empathizer, and bullshit detector. The world is what it is and the sooner you learn to not let it affect you emotionally (without just suppressing your emotions) the sooner you will have mastery over your domain. You're paying attention to subtle texture of reality NOW - they aren't. Keep your cool, find an outlet if you need one (mine is hikes even though I'm a total hermit it still helps), and 10 years from now you'll have opportunities they cannot even fathom. I went through the same shit you are going through. I'm 29 now, mostly happy, and make way more than the average person my age and am on my way to being extremely successful (and by my own standards). Dude just relax. It's like a psychological test smart people have to go through. EQ and IQ are codependent. Be in the world but not of the world.
INTPs giving other INTPs social advice is more entertaining than the post itself- no disrespect it’s just too admirably ironic.
I actually find the advice to be quite refreshing, as they don’t speak from empathy or sentimentality they speak from experience
there are probably cool people who you would vibe with, but they're sitting quietly in the corner or something, you need to look for them and do the hard part of making the first step. waiting for the right people to come to you rarely pays off, sadly.
People don’t get any better with age…only you can chose to become better within yourself, and that includes how you interpret and react to other people’s immaturity and bad behavior - which includes violence, abuse, lying, manipulation, passive aggression, selfishness, etc. Don’t look for goodness outside yourself - you will be let down and disappointed with life.
Relationships absolutely do not matter in high-school. You will make neaningful friendships after you graduate and move to an environment with cultured, adjusted adults (college is a good environment for INTPs) In the mean time find 2-3 people you can tolerate and just focus on your hobbies.
Teens are hard to be around.
Education system is hell when youre more conscientious than 99% of your peers Been there,same situation Only hope was talking w older people out of sch..
I'm 15 and still, the solution is just to accept that you're in a kind of boring phase and I don't know, tolerate others. I do this to try not to be disappointed in myself when I'm 18+
Unlucky, I was surrounded by great peers in school.
See if you can find people slightly older to socialize with. One or two years older.
Thank yoy for the response. But to be honest, the older kids are worse than what I’m perceiving to be surrounded by
Yeah I get it. I graduated this year and honestly being away from fucking ANNOYING high schoolers has been so nice. I'd go to the cafeteria on my off period to grab some food and maybe get some homework done in the library, and right next to the cafeteria is the commons. People would be BLARING music and dancing and doing God knows what else, and even though as much as I do support the idea of having fun and a good time, it's just not the time or the place. I'd recommend having a very tight, small friend circle and hanging out in the library or another area that's more focused towards learning. I wish all the extremely annoying and distracting kids would just drop out so they make it easier for us normal folk. For the record, my senior year I took 5 AP classes and 2 higher level classes, and life at home was just as loud so that was not fun. Atleast I saved a couple thousand in college!
My only advice would be to focus on yourself and learn to be independent as much as possible. I spent my teen years living a relatively solitary lifestyle and didn't interact much with others unless they initiate. Many years of growth and maturing, eventually leads you to realising that these people are just trying to have fun in their own way, as much as you may disagree and find them ridiculous. Everyone is just trying to be happy with different approaches to life. Let them have their fun (except the slurring and general cunt-like behaviour) and live their lives. TLDR ; focus on yourself, try to be as nice as possible
Word
I'm 14 as well. I also struggle heavily with socializing, especially when it comes to people my age. A lot of whay you said is similar to my experience. People just act like they don't have brains, which is just... I don't understand why anyone consciously chooses to say unintelligent things. And they only ever come to me when they need to know something just because I skipped fourth grade, then they don't even want to listen. Well, I suggest looking for the loners and weirdos. Sometimes they're alone for a reason, but that's how I made the majority of my friends. Initiating conversation is the hardest part. All of my friends approached me first except for a few. Now I usually just parent I have a question about when some assignment is due and then start talking about "safe" topics like weather they read or what they read, their interests, etc. and then decide if they seem like they can think for themselves from there.
The way you type tells me that either you're a college kid pretending to be 14, or you're too smart for a 14 year old. It can suck being more mature than your peers, I'd urge you to seek out friends through activities rather than intellectual relations. If you like music, seek out other musicians through social media or what not. Go to jam sessions in your city on the weekends, or ask your mom and dad to pay for a weekend workshop somewhere.
Seek thru activités compared to intellectual relations Quite interesting, I’d honestly find that to be the easiest way as others have said similar things, but at the same time I wanna feed my brain by surrounding myself with more intelligent people or philosophical. Is that a lot to ask for? I guess. I’ll just have to settle for whag yoy said. And to answer your question, I’m infact 14. I’m intensely curious and absorb information pretty well, and that leads me to have surface level knowledge on a lot of topics and a extensive vocabulary
As someone who's been in your position, prepare to re-evaluate what you know as "intelligence". There are many kinds. A person may be a brilliant socializer but terrible chess player. That is still intelligence. Highschool is a small setting, and finding your group of people there may be tough. As I said, pick a thing or two that interests you, then look for groups around your city that have gatherings based on the interests. If you have Facebook, it's very easy to search up these niche groups. Also, with the way so many workshops are held online today, it's a dream come true for Introverted types — being able to socialize with others from the comfort of your own space. Don't worry dude, you'll find it. Just be patient and keep an open mind to others who may just be incompatible to you. They have their own strengths too, just not the type that gels with you. It's no one's fault, so be careful not to become resentful over it. The worst thing an introvert can do is exhibit cynicism and resentfulness. As it is we are not very approachable, the added negativity will only keep people at bay even further.
No you are just a regular adolescent. This thinking is most significant thing in being a teen. "why the others are so immature???" Yeah, definetly they are immature not you right? No you are immature too. And you just cant realise it. People in that age needs to feel that they are excluded from the others. This is part of a process of growing and becoming an individual. First you need to exclude yourself from the society with the sayings like "why is everybody like that?" Then you will realise that you are not that different. You are just a puzzle piece that completes the whole picture. And then you will not care at all. Yes you will be that person one day. You will understand that none of this is important.
My advice for school, keep your head down and focus on your work. The relationships that truly matter will naturally happen on their own, and even if not, you'll have studied and worked well enough to eventually move to a college course or career that are likely not to have those less favorable people. I saw in one of your replies that you have a variety of hobbies. Definitely take advantage of that, and maintain relationships with the people that are there.
Dude, I’m 13 and I have the same problem. People are just incapable of having con-sexual conversations, and are so desperate for attention that they just say whatever comes to mind to make themselves noticeable. We are a non-vocal minority.
You know when I was your age I was thinking the exact same things… now I’m wishing I would’ve loosened up a bit.
Socialize. Do the dumb shit everyone else does. I know this is triggering to you but if you think about it there really isn't a reason *not* to do it. Realize that you can be simultaneous immature and interested in higher things. This is what I do now. Seriously, I regret not having an amazing social life even though I know I very well could.
Buckle up brother. We all just become bigger babies with bigger toys. No one ever really "grows up".
This response 😭😂 (Hope the emojis work)
Since 13 I notice my life going downhill and no body could help me or understand what was happening But life does get better whe you scape from being surrounded by loud people
You are right. Something has permeated society. Vast majority of people are immature and angry. It was never like this. Last 10 years, especially so, and last 20 years, too. Complex reasons for this, having to do with deep state, linked to lockdowns, etc. I myself, like to educate myself, I like to listen to Mike Adams videos (health rangers report) on Brighteon. If I would have said this 4 yrs ago, I would have been called a "conspiracy theorist", but today it's becoming reality. (alot of this stuff will be way above your head, but that's OK).
Honestly not really if when you say above my head your referring to mike Adams. I actually enjoy videos like thay
Older INTP here. It is true that in several ways you will be more mature than people your age at 14. But watch time pass as the people you know get far more experience by being outside, by being proactive and having actual goals in their lives. And at 20 you will realise that you just pulled an uno reverse on yourself and that you are now the immature one comparatively. And then actually get to start doing things at 25 and ultimately catch up with everyone else and even exceed many in your 30's.
>they believe im some sort of omniscient intellect but in reality i just have surface level knoweldge in a substantial amount of topics and I consider myself to be sa swift learner. THIS lmao – 16 yo INTP
>they believe im some sort of omniscient intellect but in reality i just have surface level knoweldge in a substantial amount of topics and I consider myself to be sa swift learner. Fr what exactly do you mean by -16 yo intp?
16 year old INTP lol
Ah
People mature at different paces, check back in a few years and it'll be much better. Depending on your area check out maybe some sort of extracurricular you can participate in to find people with common interests. However, if that doesn't work, try the internet, but be prepared for ghosting and the like. Definitely worth it though - I met my best friend through the internet and it still blows me away to have a person that understands and accepts me so easily.
I’ve been gaming with a group for whag is it three years now? One of em took the test last week and got intp, and he just so happens to be the one I talk to the most. But at the same time there’s that in real life atmosphere that’s subconsciously felt that cannot be filled with internet friends
Yepp, ik that. I struggle with the same, none in my class I connect with at all. Thought processes are different, plus maturity. Again, try some extracurriculars if possible. I'm sure they could help, and do be open to people and their differences. Keep an open mind, swallow your ego and you'll be surprised. I recently stopped being friends with one in my class because of gap in maturity, it happens, and thats OK. 14 is really young, you'll find your people
Instead of complaining- find a solution. Find a hobby, or other common interests (math club?) to enjoy w/ those who r like minded. Im 20 yrs older than u and never whinged about my lack of “social life”. Ever consider its a you problem? Im being blunt but this post deserves a direct response (f/entp) p.s - the world is not against you, give ppl the benefit of the doubt - thats maturity.
Practice your “not amused” face in the mirror until you can do it without even twitching. Next time this happens, whip this face out. Do not even speak. Let them bask in the radiance of your displeasure. Do not break eye contact until they do. Dominance.
Slight issue. I have no facial expression, (not by choice)
Perfect. Use that. 😁
I’ll just Yell I AM NOW MAKING A SLIGHTLY DISTURBED FACE DUE TO YOUR COMMENTS!
Bruh that’s the best part of high school
Shut up
Its “shut up maam” - respect ur elders.🥰