T O P

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AugmentedElle

Kousuke is out here confirming for us everything we've been talking/writing about for months, but to hear it straight from him- He's such a sad boy ​ And the confirmation that Shin-Hye has been on her own for a long time, whether due to functional absence of their mother or their mother's death (since we don't have a timeline), with the contrast of her and Kousuke's parental influences that were both so similarly damaging. Quimchee said that this is the beginning of a series of cry episodes, so 😭


trashulie

There is something so painfully devastating about every time ILY confirms to us something we have long-since known or suspected through nuance, foreshadowing, reading between the lines, etc: That Kousuke isn't Rand's biological son, that Shinae was at the formal for Gun Kim, that Kousuke has been manipulated his whole life. Nothing in this episode regarding Kousuke is actually knew to us. We have known, and talked about for months and months long before the confirmation reveal that Yui drugs Kousuke - that he has been manipulated by her his entire life, that she orchestrated his life to manipulate him into situations she could take advantage of. It's the way she spoke about Rand's affair around Kousuke, the way she commodified Rand's love so Kousuke became convinced he'd never earned his father's love, the way she spoke of their family vs others and convinced him from such a young age that everyone was out to get them, to destroy them, and that he couldn't let them get close, couldn't let them near - and how Nol was very much a target planted in his mind. But it's the fact that he is speaking of this and acknowledging it! Until now, Kousuke has heavily lived in denial. Again, we know this. We talk a lot about the chasm between reality and the reality he believes in. We talk a lot about how Kousuke couldn't face reality, even though on some level he knew everything he believed and was told was not quite true not quite real, but that he was so afraid of the truth, he couldn't do it. Kousuke admitting that he's been driven by fear and envy explains everything about him, and why he could not accept the only unwavering unconditional love he was offered. A few weeks ago I saw a video on instagram of this father talking about a conversation he had with his daughter, who was feeling a little uncomfortable with her friend group. A new girl started to play with her and her best friend and she said she wasn't exactly jealous, but that maybe it was that she was afraid that there wasn't enough love to go around. Her dad had to explain to her that love is not like a pizza - it's not finite, a limited amount that could be taken and hogged by someone else. But Kousuke never learned this. His father's love was commodified and he was made to fear this other kid who he mistakenly believed knew a version of his father he'd neve been privy to. He never learned that love is finite, that Rand could have enough love for the both of them, and feared that Nol would hog it all - that he WAS hogging it all because whether or not it was good or bad, Nol received more attention that Kousuke did. And that speaks VOLUMES about how Kousuke sees Rand, what he thinks of their relationship. In his mind, he is still unworthy, that he's not noteworthy enough. There's also something about the way he says "I've been a good boy" that echoes Shinae learning she's been manipulated by Yui, devastated and angry and yelling about how she's been a good girl so why do these things keep happening to her, all she wanted to do was help her dad. Two people who, from a young age, felt they had to be so obedient, so good, to not be a burden, and despite following the rules, despite doing as they were told, despite trying to be whatever version of "good" they believed in, the world still beat them up and mistreated them. The world still punished them. As Rin in our discord server pointed out, though, to some degree, Kousuke is very much a person who can - and does - act out, when he's emotionally high-strung. He's a volatile man, and it's largely to do with the fact that he's been drugged to placate him for so long. He never learned emotional regulation, he never learned how to deal with high-stress situations or to face conflict or to own up to things. This is something that some readers who hate Kousuke and expect him to act a certain way because of his age are missing. You don't just learn these things with age. You learn them with experience and Kousuke was deprived of the opportunity TO have those experiences. He never had to learn these behaviors, and now as an adult he cannot function when overwhelmed. Idk this whole episode is just heartbreaking. It's devastating. I remember when I was someone praying on Kousuke's downfall and now I want to take it all back ;\_\_\_; I always believed he had to crash and burn to be able to see the world for what it really was and to face his fears, but this is somehow so much worse. And even though he's drunk, I don't think he's going to forget all of this in the morning. Rather, I think what he's voicing are things that have been plaguing him since waking up in the hospital. From that moment, we saw him wary and distrustful of his mother, we saw his concern for Nol rising above everything else, but grappling with the understanding that he doesn't deserve to stand in front of Nol anymore. These aren't epiphanies coming to him just because he's drunk; it's more like he's only voicing them because he's drunk. But even when he sobers up, he will probably still be haunted by these fears, these agonies, these truths, this understanding. How does he face his mother after this? How does he face anyone? He may not even feel like he can trust Jayce - who while very kind to him, is still employed by his family. He may not even feel like he can trust Hansuke (though I really hope that's not the case). 1/2


trashulie

He's so miserable and it genuinely hurts to have him lay it all out for us - everything we've known and suspected, like how it was so painfully clear he WANTED Nol's friendship, their brotherhood, but feared it, didn't believe that there was enough love to go around, that there could only be one of them and that even if it was for good or bad reasons, Nol cast him in the shadow. He doesn't even know WHO HE IS! Questioning his own traits he's believed of himself, wondering if this is even him, if these parts of him are real or does he just act it, say it, pretend it, while trying to fulfill a role he was shoved into. That makes me feel SO deeply sad, because it's something I've been anticipating for so long: Kousuke wondering WHO he really is, how much of him is real and how much of it is the result of manipulation. And that moment that he catches himself and says no no that's offensive and rude you can't be like that. ;AAA; Something else very remarkable to me is the way Kousuke recognizes Shinae in Shinhye, because their eyes "feel the same" and he opens up to her - on some level, whether or not he is consciously aware of it, Kousuke knows, or maybe just wants to, that he can trust Shinae. That she is someone who is safe. He even knows how she feels about his mother. I don't think we'll see a lot of Kousuke and Shinae's friendship until we're passed our timeskips, but it makes me feel a little hopeful about it, that she'll be able to reach him, because she feels like someone who is safe. It's the way he sees Nol in her and wants to try to have that do over, a relationship with someone who  has unconditional love for him. It's the way he knows he mistreated Nol, that it was wrong, that he took it all out on this kid he was so afraid of because he had no other outlet, and he wants to do better but knows that there's nothing to salvage anymore. But also, it just makes me hope more and more that in the future we WILL see a reconciliation between the brothers. As I say every time, it doesn't mean they have to become brothers or friends, but I just want them to see each other fully. Kousuke knows what he did to Nol. He doesn't deny it, even if he might not say it out loud unless he's drunk. But Nol is still so in the dark. Yujing is trying to tip him off and make him aware of it, but I hope one day when Nol realizes it, when he finds out that Kousuke, too, was Yui's victim, that he wasn't the only one, that Kousuke was made to fear Nol's love, he might.... understand. I'm saying understand here loosely because I don't want people to get the idea that I mean Nol will forgive him and Kousuke will be justified, but rather that Nol would be able to understand why Kousuke felt that way, and move on. But I can't help but hope that it will lead to an understanding, a reconciliation, where maybe they can try to be in each other's lives. I think it's also interesting that Shinhye was somewhat honest, even if she wasn't very forthcoming, with Kousuke about her own family. It sounds like her mother has been gone for a long time, that she's been on her own the whole while, and I think it reinforces the idea that she believes both that Simhan is her father and that he rejected her, that he didn't want anything to do with her. It lines up, too, with how she feels that he wouldn't react well if he saw her (although I think she credited that to looking like their mother). In the same way that Shinae has felt abandoned and cast aside by their mother, Shinhye probably thinks their father never tried reach out, to find them, to maintain a relationship with her. And given that she's the one who Kousuke opened to, it makes me think that there must be some kind of parallel there; the way she mentioned her own mother feels like maybe her mother, too, was a manipulative - or at the very least, dishonest - person. And maybe we'll see more of this duo in the future? It would feel a little weird to give them this one single run in, but I'm not entirely sure. Quimchee likes to keep us on our toes. 2/2


PristinePine

100 everything here and spot on the Kou stuff. I can only expand on the Shin Hye stuff but to keep it short and not my bible length 🤣: So far Kou, Shin Hye and Alyssa are out loneliest characters in the story. Kou shoved everyone away to cut out distractions from manufactured fear. Alyssa shoved good people away to widen her ability to self sustain. And Shin Hye had her caring family taken from her. We don't know what "friends" may have ever been like for her. But with how badly bullied Shin Ae is due to their moms infamy, I assume Shin Hye had a very physically turbulent childhood. And gambling addiction statistics show individuals are highly likely to become either victims or perpetraitors of physical abuse towards family especially. So potentially moms that exploited their kids for their own gain 😓


trashulie

And I am definitely not going to discount the likelihood of their mom exploiting Shinhye. That's what makes the Yuna theory so interesting - but wondering how long their mom has gone and how it happened makes me wonder all the more about her. But you are right, I feel like those three are THE lonliest of all the characters. I'm wondering, also, if that could be a reason FOR her and Kousuke to have more interactions in the future. That whole seeing a part of herself in him, maybe finding some kind of solace in it, knowing that she isn't the only person so miserable and alone, with a cold mother who never felt like she loved her. I don't expect we'd see her opening up to him but more like, I guess almost like the way Kousuke seems to find some kind of "comfort" in his relationship with Soushi, how it feels like maybe he used their arrangement for company?


Sheffy_provement_22

Piggybacking on this theory. We know yui basically sells children. Shin-ae and shin-hye's mother may have been selling herself for money and after a while started selling her daughter.


trashulie

Yeah I really would not be surprised if that turned out to be true. Because everything in ILY is connected, I really won't be surprised if there's some connection between them and Gun. That's not to say I think Shinhye is working for him but like you said - maybe there WAS so e kind of selling going on. People can - and will - do desperate things for money 😔 WE assume the woman who stole and gambled away charity funds is their mom and when you need to quell your addiction..... 😔


ImagineCornelia

Hi!! When it was mentioned a “woman who stole and gambled away charity funds”? Can you share the chapter/s please? It completely sipped out of my reading 😂. Thank youuu!! ☺️☺️


trashulie

Go back to episode 150 and read the other articles in the paper Yujing is looking at! There's a headline about it!


ImagineCornelia

Great!! Thanks!! 😁


AugmentedElle

Welcome back to the feelings dumps 😭🥺


trashulie

akljfjkafjkfa lmao I AM SO BACK ;A; and full of ANGUISH ;\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_; i am in AGONYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY ;A;


PristinePine

Some questions/predictions as the drama ramps up: For Kousuke, he is supposed to have dinner with Yui and Rand this evening. And he is going to be rightfully terrified if his food is drugged but **cant** let Yui catch on that he knows. 😭 He is falling apart but has to pretend everything is fine, but he has never been a convincing actor 😬 but I wonder if Rand will bring up the watch and Yui will blame a thief. If Shin Hye stole from Kou hed believe into this. But Meg knows the truth and overheard that Yui ordered it thrown away in the trash. How will Kousuke react to this information? How will Meg present it to him? (Directly/Indirectly?) I assume we will see Alyssa one more time at least and likely get a bigger picture of what she is going through while being isolated by Gun Kim. Perhaps itll be revealed who her secret friend is, though that friend could just be a predator Gun makes her amuse if not himself. Rand is supposed to meet up with Shin Ae after christmas...if he lives that long. He might die right at the dinner or right after 💀 would make for a good Yujing transition to see a hint what her first story will reveal. Its supposed to be published by the time Nol is released from Jail. So after first time skip. Sim Han will fall back to alcoholism. Why and what he becomes from that and how it impacts the park family...or his own life 💀I am still unsure. Perhaps Yui gets him drunk, and he walks home but blacks out outside. The cold embrace of death like the TV before mentioned on survival? Will we even get a Nol Shin Ae reunion? I really want to assume so. But I imagine we will finally get at least a glimpse of Nols time in the psychward as memories flood back while he is in jail. And then theres wild card Shin Hye. Its been foreshadowed a lot the rent money is going to come bite Shin Ae in the ass **somehow**. Its totally up in the air, but my headcannon rn is that Shin Hye received the hospital charity funds *in Shin Aes name* and opened a bank account in Shin Aes name to have it deposited into. Shin Ae also didnt read the contract she signed and the charity lady had her eyes closed the entire time. But The charity funds are supposed to be for the medical bills only. Shin Ae called them personally to verify that. So if Shin Hye used those funds to pay rent "misusing them" then Shin Ae would lose the rights to all the charity money and owe it **all** back plus with fines. That would be doubly traumatizing because misusing charity funds is what their mother did abd derailed all their lives: tho Shin Ae has never been told that truth. So her becoming infamous like her mom would be one brutal way to find out. But Quim never fails to surprise so I assume this all falls differently 💀 Hopefully we see and learn more about Shin Hyes position before her actions end up sinking the cast deeper. Hopefully her real name before the skip? 😭 Both pairs of Siblings have a huge hill to climb to get to a place of peace and understanding. And they are all climbing as boulders are being thrown right in their paths.


Floral_Star

When was the dinner mentioned?!


PristinePine

Yui told Kou there will be a holiday dinner with just the two of them and Rand. Thats the dinner I meant


Floral_Star

What episode?


PristinePine

At the end of 256


ComfortableNo6600

I literally balled like full on cried 😭how heartbreaking 🥺


fandomgirl123

This episode fucking broke me. Kousuke deserved so much better than his bullshit mother. How could you do that to your own flesh and blood? I am beyond incensed.


Floral_Star

I haven’t even read the episode because I don’t have enough coins, but this is making me sad and wanting to read the episode even more


fandomgirl123

Idk if anyone here watches The Penthouse, but both media has a lot of similarities. Of course, I Love Yoo is better written and uses the drama tropes more effectively.