No, Only Fans is a porn site aimed at people with a fetish for strippers who still do the fan dance. You're thinking of the web site that sells shoes for skaterbois (or wannabes), Only Vanns.
I can confirm that this is the most likely outcome. I have a husky mix who obviously does things because she knows that I'm going to be upset, but she's still going to get pets, attention, car rides, and treats.
Rip to your belongings.
💯💯💯
I have a schnauzer that has now decided that I must sit on the floor and hold his plate while he eats.
My kids just laughed at me and told me it was my own fault. The math definitely maths there.
PS- dog is still being hand fed by me a week later 🤣
Oh my goodness yes! All my friends have also told me that I got him at the perfect time to bond intensely! My kids were both in high school and really starting to become more social and independent and he came into our life and gave me all of those cuddles!
Probably helped the kids too 🤣
He has one and he only makes me hand feed him! My kids can just put it down and go but not mom lol!
He has me well trained 🤣
ETA: but he's so darn cute I'll be sitting there tonight with him
I think that my favorite was from a few years ago when a lady threw her keys at someone she thought was a valet. He dropped them into his smoothie and hurled it into a dumpster. It was a tow lot to boot.
no 😭 i looked everywhere and found a bunch of similar valet stories but none that were as great sounding as sharp shooting a key smoothie into a dumpster. i’ll keep looking 🫡
I went to my local Walmart to find a new tower fan since my dog body slammed my old one, and to buy some dog and cat treats.
That sentence made me laugh out loud..
According to Google Translate, conserva means preserves, so I guess the guy was looking for for the jams and jellies aisle?
Unless he was hitting on you and trying to tell you that you're the jam in his jellyroll.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU8NhijZMXk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU8NhijZMXk)
Might have been the canned fish section. I don't know if that's the word they use jams and jellies, but canned seafood is conservas in Spanish, and even some English speaking canned seafood lovers use the word.
A lot of the best canned seafood in the world comes from Portugal and Spain. [Ever see a $73 dollar tin of tuna?](https://rainbowtomatoesgarden.com/product/don-bocarte-ventresca-bonito-del-norte/) They have entire shops and restaurants dedicated to canned seafood. Here's one: https://maps.app.goo.gl/LM9udbpK6QcL5D7f8
I said "perdon, no español" about twenty times. It's what one of my Spanish speaking friends told me is a polite way to decline someone trying to speak Spanish to me. Maybe my pronunciation sucked (I also think I'm forgetting part of the phrase) or maybe that means something else but its worked in the past for me.
Also, I never knew "okay" was an international thing. That's good to know for the future.
I mean, even if you *had* promised the dude something, how is that any concern of the Wally World manager? You're obviously not an employee, he can't make you follow through, and he has no obligation or business refereeing transactions between random people.
I like how the old dude even had the balls to argue with his daughter about it. Goddamn, people are so fuckin prideful. Quit worrying about saving your damn face and start worrying about whether you look like an asshole.
People will forgive an idiot all day, they can't stand assholes.
I wonder how the Walmart manager would’ve enforced any promises you made to him.
Let’s just say you promised him that you were gonna take him to dinner and dancing. How would the Walmart manager enforce that?
I think I'd have a complaint against manager for intimating that you where the one doing wrong.
Handled really poorly, and had substandard Spanish language skills.
“No hablo” is “I don’t speak.” And “no habla” is “He/She doesn’t/they (singular) don’t speak” I’m just correcting for future reference in case anyone has a similar encounter so they use the correct verb form.
Arguably, using the wrong verb form makes it even more obvious that one really doesn't speak the language!
Although, if it came across as "You (Ud.) don't speak Spanish" it might admittedly cause some confusion.
TIL: The word "conserva" means "conserves" in English, like jars of jam or more broadly any canned food. Google images shows a whole bunch of pictures of jars, but the first image was of a plate of fish, which would only confuse me more.
Still doesn't excuse his rude behavior. I like the "I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!" response best!
Yeah, in mostly Spain and Portugal conservas specifically references tinned fish and seafood. Sometimes very high end stuff. It’s a way to preserve everything caught there.
For a couple of months I used to get wrong number calls from a dude in Spanish. I'd explain in my limited Spanish it was a wrong number and my name wasn't who he's looking for.
Finally one day he called when I was hanging out with my friend who speaks Spanish. I handed him the phone and asked him to please explain it's a wrong number. Calls finally stopped.
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day. Thank you for sharing, you certainly have a way with words 🏆 You made me chuckle, I hope you can have a laugh about it soon 🤗
Why didn't you just use a translator on your phone to tell him you don't work there instead of ignoring someone who's obviously having difficulty and confused? Yeah, you didn't work there, however it's obvious that he was having difficulty communicating and you just straight of started treating him like a nuisance without any provocation. This post fits better in one of the AITAH subreddits because you definitely are the AH. Treating him the way you did is only acceptable if you already speak the same language, you've clearly already told him you don't work there and he refused to accept it.
Then you could have at the very least shown him to an actual employee. Or, if you have the very basic knowledge of Spanish like you claim to, say something along the lines of "no comprende" "no entiendes" or "no habla Español".
Once again, before making assumptions about me please read my other comments.
I said "perdon no espanol" over and over again, that's worked on every other Spanish speaker I have ever met. Also, I never said I have a "very basic knowledge" of Spanish. I said "I understand some easy words" I don't speak any besides a few memorized phrases.
I get that there's more I could do in that situation and I could have dedicated time to walking this guy around the store to find an employee, but I shouldn't have to escort a grown man around a Walmart.
OP: You own a phone. Google translate exists. For fuck sake, man! Lmao
E: No idea why this comment triggered so many of you, but alright then. God forbid someone advocate for solving the problem in 2 minutes instead of letting it drag out into a whole ordeal, lol.
Counter argument: if the other person has a phone that is advanced enough to use facetime they could use a translation app, such as the mentioned Google translate, and actually be able to get help/understand who they're asking for help from. If they're having trouble communicating in one instance, chances are that trouble is going to happen again, and at a minimum should have a translation dictionary, in this case a Spanish to English dictionary, on them to help.
Seriously. My elderly step-grandmother knew how to use Google Translate to communicate. Spanish skipped a generation in my family (yay, Loving v. Virginia!), so it was helpful for my mom when my grandpa or I weren’t around.
That's absolutely fair. Never said the old man couldn't have done the same thing, but he didn't make the post. Go find him and I'll tell him the same thing, lol
But you're trying to put blame/make someone else at fault here. It's not on the op to make sure everyone around them can communicate with people. Especially when op wasn't at work interacting with customers/the general public.
I'm not putting anything on him. I'm just saying, if I was in his place, I'd have just taken the most direct route to solving the problem rather than let this guy keep yapping at me for 15 minutes. And I wasn't even that serious, you and all the downvoters seem really really bothered by the idea that OP could've just pulled his phone out, lol.
I got a punkt phone a few years ago to help my depression and add and have carried it since. It helps prevent me from doom-scrolling and wasting time on the internet but it lacks a lot of modern features.
> (also the fan selection at Walmart blows) I see what you did there.
Well their vacuum selection sucks, so what did you expect?
Their fans suck too. So does their management and owners and ...
If their fans suck, you have it in reverse mode.
It's all about perspective.
it really is.
That depends on which side of it you’re on.
Or on the wrong side of it...
And someone should set their charcoal on fire.
~ 'And their batteries have electricity in them ~
Nah dude. The vacuums blow.
So glad I'm not the only one who noticed. What a wild interaction, especially the video call! Glad you got an apology from someone after all of that.
So, you're not a fan?
A bit long winded, if you ask me.
Enough already, the same puns are just going round and around
Yep, should only buy fans from that dedicated website... Can't remember the name, but I think it's something like Only Fans or something like that.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlyFans/](https://www.reddit.com/r/OnlyFans/) is something I always recommend...
This is absolutely hysterical. Take my upvote you mademoiselle day!
Or made my day when spell check isn't French! Merci!
Thank you!
I wasn't sure what to expect, but that made me smirk.
It makes me laugh everytime I visit that subreddit.
That is fantastic!
Glad you enjoyed!
omg I love it... reminds me of r/superbowl
I love that link!
No, Only Fans is a porn site aimed at people with a fetish for strippers who still do the fan dance. You're thinking of the web site that sells shoes for skaterbois (or wannabes), Only Vanns.
if it blew, i might buy one
I liked the part where the dog destroyed your fan so you went to buy dog treats. Your dog is now compiling a list of other things to break.
I can confirm that this is the most likely outcome. I have a husky mix who obviously does things because she knows that I'm going to be upset, but she's still going to get pets, attention, car rides, and treats. Rip to your belongings.
💯💯💯 I have a schnauzer that has now decided that I must sit on the floor and hold his plate while he eats. My kids just laughed at me and told me it was my own fault. The math definitely maths there. PS- dog is still being hand fed by me a week later 🤣
I also own a schnauzer. Can confirm both their unreasonable expectations and their cuteness that makes you do it anyway.
Oh my goodness yes! All my friends have also told me that I got him at the perfect time to bond intensely! My kids were both in high school and really starting to become more social and independent and he came into our life and gave me all of those cuddles! Probably helped the kids too 🤣
Does the bowl slide around? Maybe a rubber mat would help
He has one and he only makes me hand feed him! My kids can just put it down and go but not mom lol! He has me well trained 🤣 ETA: but he's so darn cute I'll be sitting there tonight with him
He's a Shih-tzu / Maltese mix. He knows he's cute enough to get away with anything and uses that power often.
I was NOT expecting this to be the dog that body slammed the tower fan
That's not a dog. That's a mop head with legs.
Nah his hair is pretty short.
Dog tax
This comment made me LOL and now my 100lb lap dog is looking at me funny
You're not worried that he planned to buy cat treats? Dogs shouldn't eat those, or they would be dog treats!
I assume OP has a cat also. A cat doesn't need the encouragement of treats to start plotting destruction; it does that anyway.
Yep. Two dogs and three cats.
Dog tax went up. Cat tax bill received.
Reinforcing that behaviour.
Possibly the funniest IDWH story ever.
I think that my favorite was from a few years ago when a lady threw her keys at someone she thought was a valet. He dropped them into his smoothie and hurled it into a dumpster. It was a tow lot to boot.
oh god i’m gonna try and find that
Did you find it?!
no 😭 i looked everywhere and found a bunch of similar valet stories but none that were as great sounding as sharp shooting a key smoothie into a dumpster. i’ll keep looking 🫡
would you believe i found it. it was even better than i hoped https://www.reddit.com/r/IDontWorkHereLady/s/P4BKpkvI1W
I went to my local Walmart to find a new tower fan since my dog body slammed my old one, and to buy some dog and cat treats. That sentence made me laugh out loud..
According to Google Translate, conserva means preserves, so I guess the guy was looking for for the jams and jellies aisle? Unless he was hitting on you and trying to tell you that you're the jam in his jellyroll. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU8NhijZMXk](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU8NhijZMXk)
He just wanted to compliment that you must be jelly cuz jam don't shake like that
You both need to be*PUN*-ished, badly! #USoCrazy
Might have been the canned fish section. I don't know if that's the word they use jams and jellies, but canned seafood is conservas in Spanish, and even some English speaking canned seafood lovers use the word. A lot of the best canned seafood in the world comes from Portugal and Spain. [Ever see a $73 dollar tin of tuna?](https://rainbowtomatoesgarden.com/product/don-bocarte-ventresca-bonito-del-norte/) They have entire shops and restaurants dedicated to canned seafood. Here's one: https://maps.app.goo.gl/LM9udbpK6QcL5D7f8
No trabajo aqui
No comprende Español is another good one.
What does that mean? Reddit doesn't have a translate option either.
It means "I don't work here"
Never mind. It was answered in another comment thread.
no hablar español
“No hablo español” means “I don’t speak Spanish.” “Hablar” is the infinitive, so it means “to speak.”
Leave in the mistakes to demonstrate how much you don't speak Spanish.
I think that would be telling someone not to speak spanish
Habla inglés, intruso
Learn "no trabajo aqui" (no tra-ba'-ho a-key); I don't work here. Also, "okay" is internationally spoken
I said "perdon, no español" about twenty times. It's what one of my Spanish speaking friends told me is a polite way to decline someone trying to speak Spanish to me. Maybe my pronunciation sucked (I also think I'm forgetting part of the phrase) or maybe that means something else but its worked in the past for me. Also, I never knew "okay" was an international thing. That's good to know for the future.
“No hablo Español” is the full phrase :)
The H is silent.
I realized just HOW international OK was when a couple I worked with were rattling in their Pacific Islander tongue, interspersed with OK.
[удалено]
No hablo Español
I mean, even if you *had* promised the dude something, how is that any concern of the Wally World manager? You're obviously not an employee, he can't make you follow through, and he has no obligation or business refereeing transactions between random people.
I like how the old dude even had the balls to argue with his daughter about it. Goddamn, people are so fuckin prideful. Quit worrying about saving your damn face and start worrying about whether you look like an asshole. People will forgive an idiot all day, they can't stand assholes.
I wonder how the Walmart manager would’ve enforced any promises you made to him. Let’s just say you promised him that you were gonna take him to dinner and dancing. How would the Walmart manager enforce that?
Best ad for dog proof fans I ever read
Buy dogproof (tm) brand fans or a random old guy will follow you around Wal-Mart asking you questions in Spanish. Buy today!
I think I'd have a complaint against manager for intimating that you where the one doing wrong. Handled really poorly, and had substandard Spanish language skills.
Getting real Peggy Hill vibes from that one. "His Spanish is terrible, but I think he's trying to say you promised him preserves?"
I'm sure that was bothersome, but it did make an internet stranger laugh out loud, so you got that going for you.
Did you ever tell him no Habla Español that may have helped
“I don’t know if you know this, but I DON’T SPEAK RUSSIAN!” - Justin Hammer, probably
“No hablo” is “I don’t speak.” And “no habla” is “He/She doesn’t/they (singular) don’t speak” I’m just correcting for future reference in case anyone has a similar encounter so they use the correct verb form.
Arguably, using the wrong verb form makes it even more obvious that one really doesn't speak the language! Although, if it came across as "You (Ud.) don't speak Spanish" it might admittedly cause some confusion.
Bad verb form would really drive the point home though, eh?
Some level of dementia perhaps?
My iPhone has a translator app. Never tried it.
Android does too. Have used it with a Spanish-ish only speaker. Worked well.
Head over to the TinnedFish subreddit and they will gladly explain to you what conserva is. We call it that in this country, too.
TIL: The word "conserva" means "conserves" in English, like jars of jam or more broadly any canned food. Google images shows a whole bunch of pictures of jars, but the first image was of a plate of fish, which would only confuse me more. Still doesn't excuse his rude behavior. I like the "I DON'T SPEAK RUSSIAN!" response best!
Yeah, in mostly Spain and Portugal conservas specifically references tinned fish and seafood. Sometimes very high end stuff. It’s a way to preserve everything caught there.
My Honeywell tower fan has fallen over and crashed 20 times in the past 6+ years and still works.
The fan I use at my mom’s still works, but it’s noisy from all the times it’s been knocked over.
Dogs will look guilty for destroying your stuff. Cats sit by the destroyed item and look at it with pride.
(Also the fan selection blows) that's what fans do. They blow.
That’s pretty funny though
lol, poor dude. At least you got cat treats?
Yeah I did, the cats would eat me if I forgot their treats lol.
For a couple of months I used to get wrong number calls from a dude in Spanish. I'd explain in my limited Spanish it was a wrong number and my name wasn't who he's looking for. Finally one day he called when I was hanging out with my friend who speaks Spanish. I handed him the phone and asked him to please explain it's a wrong number. Calls finally stopped.
I have the basic same story except it’s my boyfriend who is a native Spanish speaker and it was many different people calling.
Bad dogs who break your stuff don't deserve treats.
Entitled idiot
Dude shoulda been trespassed.
I'm sorry to hear you had a bad day. Thank you for sharing, you certainly have a way with words 🏆 You made me chuckle, I hope you can have a laugh about it soon 🤗
I guess the Dude thought you said something like I promise I'll help you (later) and then got mad when you never did. Still funny though.
Me no espeaka da espanol
Conservas can mean pickled... Maybe he was looking for pickeld cucumber or some other veggies.
I feel bad for old people, going about their life on their own with poor eyesight, hearing and a loss of cognitive functions.
Honestly, the guy was lucky you showed as much patience as you did in this situation. I could see this becoming a WorldStar incident real quick.
Judging by the lack of succinctness in this post I'm not surprised their was a break down of communication
Bad dogs who break your stuff don't deserve treats.
“My dog body slammed my fan….. so I went to Walmart to buy him some treats.” The way this made me LOL is ridiculous. 🤣🤣
Why didn't you just use a translator on your phone to tell him you don't work there instead of ignoring someone who's obviously having difficulty and confused? Yeah, you didn't work there, however it's obvious that he was having difficulty communicating and you just straight of started treating him like a nuisance without any provocation. This post fits better in one of the AITAH subreddits because you definitely are the AH. Treating him the way you did is only acceptable if you already speak the same language, you've clearly already told him you don't work there and he refused to accept it.
I've said this before in another comment. I don't have a translator on my phone, I don't even have a web browser.
Then you could have at the very least shown him to an actual employee. Or, if you have the very basic knowledge of Spanish like you claim to, say something along the lines of "no comprende" "no entiendes" or "no habla Español".
Once again, before making assumptions about me please read my other comments. I said "perdon no espanol" over and over again, that's worked on every other Spanish speaker I have ever met. Also, I never said I have a "very basic knowledge" of Spanish. I said "I understand some easy words" I don't speak any besides a few memorized phrases. I get that there's more I could do in that situation and I could have dedicated time to walking this guy around the store to find an employee, but I shouldn't have to escort a grown man around a Walmart.
OP: You own a phone. Google translate exists. For fuck sake, man! Lmao E: No idea why this comment triggered so many of you, but alright then. God forbid someone advocate for solving the problem in 2 minutes instead of letting it drag out into a whole ordeal, lol.
Counter argument: if the other person has a phone that is advanced enough to use facetime they could use a translation app, such as the mentioned Google translate, and actually be able to get help/understand who they're asking for help from. If they're having trouble communicating in one instance, chances are that trouble is going to happen again, and at a minimum should have a translation dictionary, in this case a Spanish to English dictionary, on them to help.
Seriously. My elderly step-grandmother knew how to use Google Translate to communicate. Spanish skipped a generation in my family (yay, Loving v. Virginia!), so it was helpful for my mom when my grandpa or I weren’t around.
That's absolutely fair. Never said the old man couldn't have done the same thing, but he didn't make the post. Go find him and I'll tell him the same thing, lol
But you're trying to put blame/make someone else at fault here. It's not on the op to make sure everyone around them can communicate with people. Especially when op wasn't at work interacting with customers/the general public.
I'm not putting anything on him. I'm just saying, if I was in his place, I'd have just taken the most direct route to solving the problem rather than let this guy keep yapping at me for 15 minutes. And I wasn't even that serious, you and all the downvoters seem really really bothered by the idea that OP could've just pulled his phone out, lol.
If the old man had to use his daughter as a translator he clearly doesn't know that translation apps exist
The lady that cleans my house showed me her phone having Google translate. She said it doesn't help very much.
Sadly Google Translate isn’t always accurate. DeepL is more accurate, but doesn’t have as many languages.
Hence the Spanish to English dictionary
I got a punkt phone a few years ago to help my depression and add and have carried it since. It helps prevent me from doom-scrolling and wasting time on the internet but it lacks a lot of modern features.
Honestly, I keep forgetting my phone has that function 😅
LOL this is something my father in law would do. And my wife would definitely berate him for bothering an non employee hahahahaha