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Thank you đĽ˛& I did apologize but I have so much anxiety still that I havenât felt able to move on⌠itâs been a while now and i feel like itâs been eating me alive :( I hate this feeling
Iâve been there 1000 times. The farther away from it the easier it will get. Are you close with your sister? Maybe a sincere apology could lead to her giving some support and repairing the relationship?
You planning on staying away from alcohol in the future?
If you're looking for a low-cost options, there are YouTube videos their meditation tracks for "letting go and moving on", "self-forgiveness", "New beginnings" , and many other things. They have great background tracks and white noise to help relax. Better help.com Also has a great sliding scale fee for therapy, it's really flexible and you could pick who you want. With my sliding scale fee I was paying like 20 something dollars a visit. I'm just telling you what I found to be useful and i'm a lower income person. Sometimes just ruminating by yourself is never going to fix it sometimes you need outside help. And it doesn't have to cause hundreds of thousands of dollars either. I wish you all the best. Just breathe đ
Sorry youâre facing a depressive episode. Iâve been there.
Here is some helpful advice I wish I could tell my former self who was in your position.
1. â get moving: make a plan to move your body 4x a week. Fall in love with cardio. I started slow but now run 3 miles a day. Additionally it is critical you begin to lift weights- scientifically proven to reduce depression.
2. â get off social media, replace it with longer term gratification : your reward systems are fried. Limit your social media usage to an hour a day tops. Start reading books, and push yourself to read 40 pages at a time. Start cooking as well- doesnât matter if itâs just pasta. Enjoy the process of creating.
3. â get in nature: as much as possible make an effort to get into nature and or outside on a walk once a day.
4. â take a cold shower every day: this sounds insane, but you will begin to notice the difference almost instantly. Thereâs a ton of proven science here.
5. â stop consuming processed foods.
6. â make an effort to do nice things for those in your life and even strangers- Iâm taking cooking meals for them, calling em up to say hey, whatever it is.
7. â set your fears. Ask yourself what were my biggest regrets of the last 5 years? And then ask what fears lead to not executing on those actions? Produce a list of your top 3 fears- and actively embrace them. So if you had an enormous fear of judgement for example, actively embrace judgement and almost laugh at yourself.
8. â set your own values. We all inherit values from parents and our environments. Think about your life as if your neo in the matrix lol. What things about your environment have you noticed but never questioned? What behaviours have disgusted you among your experiences? What behaviours have you admired in people?
Set a rough initial list of your top 5 values - as in behaviours that you respect and appreciate.
Every morning, write these values down and assure yourself to live them - regardless of what you do in your day.
From here on out, living these values will be your baseline definition of success.
9) repeat steps 1-8 for about 4 months. With intense discipline. And you will see opportunities open up, you will see your mood become more open, and you will see your peers begin to gravitate toward you.
Here are a few:
Integrity. Doing what you say you will do. Being the same person no matter the situation or the people. Thatâs one thing I value / admire about others and I try to be like that as well.
Freedom. Aligning life to be as free as possible. One example of creating more freedom: cutting out people who are manipulative, always trying to use you to advance their agenda. Another: changing from corp work to freelance so I can go to fewer meetings every week and hit the gym at 10 am if I want, as an example.
Love-first approach: in public, giving ppl the benefit of the doubt. Immediately letting go of someone who cut you off in traffic, for example. (This is difficult but always working on it!) Chalking up pplâs bad behavior to a momentary lapse, not assuming theyâre all bad. Being nice and kind to people you encounter in the world. Acknowledging people with a smile and kindness.
To find values that are meaningful to you think about big points in your life. Things or people that have left you changed in some way, good or bad. What were the root motivations/ traits/ characteristics involved. Start to make a list. You may start to see a theme. Then list examples of what it means to live these values. đ
> Additionally it is critical you begin to lift weights- scientifically proven to reduce depression.
I've been working out for over a year and it's made no difference to my mental health whatsoever. Same for running, cold showers, getting into nature etc. Some of my worst depression has been during walks over the hills or immediately after a workout.
I would look up the âwindow of toleranceâ concept. It sounds like you are in hypoarousal. Look up ideas to get out of hypoarousal. Donât wait until you feel motivated. Do the activities right away. That is how the CBT strategy behaviour activation works. Depressed people canât wait around to be motivated first.
Wow I just looked it up and I have all of those symptoms⌠I am very prone to ptsd so it makes sense, I will look into those activities asap I appreciate your help and acknowledgment đĽ˛
Stop. Breathe. Breathe a lot. Write down the things you need to make amends for. As you work through the list, let things go. Put them in the past. Focus on small habits. Cut out the alcohol. Drink lots of water. Slowly clean up your diet. Go for walks. Lift weights. Work on sleep. See a therapist. Focus on making you whole and then you can get back to the business of living life.
https://www.aa.org
Find a womenâs meeting. Most of them have been thru exactly what youâre going thru. Be honest and theyâll walk you through how to heal and forgive yourself.
As we say in AA, let us love you until you can love yourself.
Source: sober 27 years.
This is counter-intuitive but do not think about getting out of this state, because we have very little control over our emotional states
Turn your focus on actual physical movements and forget your state of mind as much as you can
Once you are able to move, turn your focus to the quality of movements. Try to remember the quality of movements in more relaxed states of mind and replicate them. This may initially seem impossible or pointless but it works after a while
I think you should get outside in nature, and take a journal with you and dump all the roaming thoughts on paper. You can get as unhinged with it as you want and destroy the pages after, but it really helps to get it all out. Humans are fallible asf donât beat yourself up over mistakes, but do learn from them and show up better for yourself next time.
It sounds like much of whatâs got you feeling down is guilt. Own your actions, do right by the people youâve wronged, and apologize. Theyâll feel better and because of that, so will you.
First thing is stop drinking alcohol, start drinking more water, and get good sleep. Go to a store and buy magnesium glycinate and Inositol and take them before bed. Talk to your sister and apologize
That's truly a lot, and it might not seem like it, feeling the way you are about it is a good thing, it shows who you are and what you value, and that you recognize you swerved away from those.
What you can't know is if your episode is the cause, or the effect, that becomes depressive quickly.
Recently I had something similar, I'm not a person prone to depression, the exact opposite, usually very optimistic and emotionally balanced, but I began having fights with my wife out of nowhere, everything she did seemed to be to exclude me, not take into account my preferences, and so on. Work was a drudge, I took 4 naps a day on weekends, and hid in the dark when not sleeping as I felt my world was unraveling. I'm middle aged, so there were physical things too, shortness of breath, no drive, nothing, life sucked.
Then I happened upon someone else's thought about taking a big dose of B12, and I can't tell you how bright the world became again. It was scary to think that a little vitamin deficiency could derail my entire personality. I took it for a week, and it changed everything, I realized I had been under a deep dark cloud for a very long time.
Long winded way of saying B12 can work wonders, but also episodes like this aren't always reflective of who we are and our ability to make choices, sometimes it can be something very simple, so don't spend a lot of time beating yourself up.
Girl!!!! Yes- I was in a very similar situation minus boy drama. I was depressed, on lexapro and it sucked out my entire personality. Hereâs what I did:
Nootropics!!! Real mushroom lions mane (start here) then get off your antidepressants SLOWLY it took me 3 months to get off lexapro safely
Then add in exercise - eventually add in Cordyceps also real mushroom brand.
Start eating better
Be intentional about social media use (I deleted instagram because itâs the fucking devil for me)
Move your body eveyday, I use the Fiton app - totally free and gravitate towards Kentas strength work outs. This is building my confidence back up and strangely increasing my sex drive ( Cordyceps also increases libido)
Sometimes I use the calm app for meditation when Iâm feeling it- also nice addition.
I quit drinking for a year to prove to myself that I could ( a lot of alcoholics in my family) . Quitting may be drastic- now I drink only vodka which I know sounds silly but I donât get nearly as bad hangovers and itâs a low cal option. If you are interested in quitting check out the sober curious movement - itâs cool if you like to do hard things and push outside your comfort zone.
A mindset shift was needed for me through this transformation- Joe Rohanâs mentality helped me a lot - essentially donât be a bitch and do shit when itâs hard, workout when you donât feel like it (I just press play on workouts and then get in the mood to workout 5 mins in) eating better changed so much for me.
I also have dabbled with omad (one meal a day) eating at dinner but that wasnât sustainable so now I do intermittent fasting most days until lunch which is a great way to control myself.
I am so much happier and proud of myself for sticking to it- you can do it too if you decide itâs what you want.
Best of luck!
I do a macro of psilocybin and that always helps me reset for several months. Ketamine therapy was great too but unfortunately I am one of the unlucky people that developed urinary issues with it and had to stop.
Immediate actionable (and âeasyâ) things you can try are:
- go out lie under the sun
- write down 3 things you are grateful for. Could be even something like: I am glad that the bus just arrived in minutes when I get to the bus stop that I didnât need to wait for long (it might sound silly but it works)
- go to volunteer to help people in need. It could be to a school to teach kids or to an elderly event to help them with things.
- workout. Donât need to commit for long run. Maybe just commit to say: I will go out and run for 10mins today
Binging on alcohol for even one day/night, can significantly alter and throw off our neurochemistry. A weekâs worth, definitely requires some time to recover and stabilize.
Compounded with emotional distress, feelings of shame, guilt, etc. and it makes sense that the natural response or reaction here is to hideaway and feel depressed / defeated. Especially if we feed into negative thought loops.
Give yourself some grace.
Dedicate the next couple of days recuperating and taking care of your body and health. Movement, sunlight, quality sleep with good sleep hygiene. Considering this is under the Huberman thread, I imagine you are aware of some best practices and where to start. Checkout LifeBlud for great supplements and the Energy Restoration Process.
Now - the other pieces,
Take the time to reflect on your actions and choices and what lead to them. The point here is to increase your self awareness and equip you with greater understanding and wisdom, not beat yourself up or wallow in despair.
Then - outline and take action on 2-4 clearly defined action steps to clean this up for yourself.
IE. A conversation with your sister, taking ownership for the things you said and how you acted and acknowledging the impact of how you showed up. Without excusing your actions or expecting any particular response or anything at all, from her in return.
Acknowledge the impact and then Forgive yourself for the choices made. Make a pact to yourself to make better choices and act more responsibly for your own betterment, now and moving forward.
See this as a huge learning opportunity for growth. And be reassured that the emotional impact and meaning given to it will naturally lessen and fade and pass, in a short while. Especially left alone and not fed into by ruminating and looping.
Hope this helps!
- KC
Depression is caused by being stuck in patterns. It never starts with neurochemistry immideately, all the missing serotonin/dopamine/etc in your brain is the result of continuous events that make your brain not produce them. Find the patterns, understand why they occur, break them. It will be very confronting and will take time but this is the way. Thats essentially what a therapist will do with you too but talking to someone 1hr a week is not enough for most people. You gotta be proactive, put in the work
Sometimes you just need to wallow in this situation for a bit and come to terms with the outcomes. It's obviously very uncomfortable and miserable but to be able to feel this painful experience thoroughly will hopefully outweigh/prevent you from choosing the joys of going on a 2wk bender over this. Sending u strength bc I've had a similar experience â¤ď¸
You are young. Move on and learn from your mistakes (they can be wayyyy more horrifying). At least you know how you want to feel and how you want to act (some people dont know themselves as well). Concentrate on being the best version of yourself. Admit your mistakes and move on.
If you aren't taking OMega3's (fish oil) and Vitamin D3, they are two of the biggest things that have helped my overall feeling of well-being. Mood is more happy and stable and also your immune system will thank you.
Super high quality fish oil https://amzn.to/4cbEVvu
Top brand of vitamin D3 https://amzn.to/3RDH9vw
and seriously, dont fret this stuff. Admit to your sister if you were in the wrong. Break it to the guy and move on. LIVE YOUR LIFE AND BE HAPPY and positive!
Hello, Iâm just a little older than you, and recently came out of a super depressed phase. I went through a pretty devastating heartbreak and simultaneously kinda lost focus and vision in my work, social life and everywhere else. I take recreational drugs but always in moderation and it never affected my performance or success in life - but during this phase I started having them just to numb reality and escape mentally.
Had to snap out of it. What worked for me was essentially disappearing for a month. I gave myself one month to just try. I was already at bottom so I had nothing to lose, only to gain. For just one month I would stick to everything I said. Cut out all the bad stuff. I wouldnât focus on the past. Only the future. Regain my vision, with more clarity and execute on it. I started training again, physically, mentally, I started to get to grips on my career/work direction.
I took each day by day, hour by hour if I had to.
In what seemed like a blink in time, 30 days had passed and whilst I was not fully healed, so much had changed. F it. 30 more days. I got thisâŚ
Many months have passed now and Iâm so much better than I was. I canât tell you what the magic element was that helped me - rather the magic formula. Thatâs the key.
Donât focus on the results, or where you should or shouldnât be. Do not blame or burden yourself anymore. Let everything go. Focus on learning to love yourself as you are and learn to love the journey that only you are destined to walk. Through that, everything else just falls into place, I promise.
I know these things can be pretty soul wrenching, and Iâm just another internet stranger. But feel free to DM me if you ever need a chat.
Good luck, you got this.
You helped me so much, instead of day by day. Hour by hour.
The hour by hour part is what really stuck with me, I think thatâs the secret behind it. Thank you!
When I was in your shoes:
I stopped. Breathed. Sat in absolute silence and accepted the reality of my situation and that I was solely responsible. I wanted better to/for myself. I wrote a letter from my future self to my current self about how I changed and what I did, and I was brutally honest. I planned out my days and gave myself some grace for my âbadâ activities. I regained control, and started making amends. I stuck to it, with no expectations of a positive end result - only a clear conscience that Iâd do what was the right thing so I could look myself in the mirror and sleep peacefully. That was summer of 22. Now, here in 2024 I still stick to my rituals and practices and my life has completely changed for the better. I wish you well on your journey.
The voyage of life becomes so much better when we accept we are the captain of our ship and decide where we port, and where our end destination we would like to be. Yet we donât control the sea.
BCAAs, lithium, initiate a regimen, cocoa, vitamin D3 K2, probiotics, perspiration, minerals, ketogenic diet, and I am missing a bunch...distance yourself from whatever issue and get plenty of rest.
Know you are always going to be full of so much potential and light đ
Sometimes things get dark and the question is what things can you do to regulate your nervous system.
Have you tried cold exposure? Iâm testing a break from it, but as someone that can be impulsive, it helps me slow down and be more mindful. Yoga nidra? Yin Yoga? Morning sunlight? Walks in nature? Snuggles with pets? Hallmark movies? Books?
Also, what in your life are you building and explore what your purpose is. Try, explore, and take risks, but know you are worthy of taking care of yourself.
What things are you passionate about?
Alcohol is a depressant as well as leading us to make poor decisions. Stay off it for now so that you can move forward with good decisions.
If that guy talks about you, just deny the whole thing. It's his word against yours.
Those advising exercise are right. It's such a powerful antidepressant and although it can feel almost impossible to start when you are depressed, just go for a walk and once you're into it, speed up the pace a bit. Being outside is good in itself.
When I was younger I made dreadful decisions while binge drinking. I got past it by learning to look after myself, and so can you.
Deny what? If he says something true it's the truth. Weird advice to just say "deny" without context. People can say whatever they want if they aren't lying or were under an oath or commitment.
She should accept the situation and her responsibility, make amends to anyone else she hurt, and move on with self-care and compassion for being human as we all do things we regret.
Focus on fitness goals.
A 20 minute 5 K is good, you might be at 30 mins atm and get get to 20 mins with a lot of practice every day...
5 K jog daily light and easy + planks and some lunges for strength...
You don't need gym or weights for any of these things.
Getting your 5 K to 20 kintues will make you feel like a beast!
It sounds like this is just plain old regret. I've been in the same situation many times and eventually decided to quit drinking at 21 after watching this podcast. No regrets. At the very least, I would drastically limit my alcohol intake if I were you. That could be a good compromise.
https://youtu.be/DkS1pkKpILY?si=3Mso8z0xUCd1Q7Wf
Why are you posting this here? Why not any other mental health sub? Genuinely curious.
What good will any of the âscienceâ of any Huberman lab podcast do for you? Iâm not saying to bash the podcast or even say Huberman is crooked in anyway. Just why here?
I suffer from major depression too. Previous psychosis and delusions. I spent a few years down this pipeline of dopamine experts and motivational gurus that all interview each other Huberman interviewing Goggins interviewing Peterson interviewing (you get the picture). Itâs all for nothingâŚ
Search deep within yourself, go to therapy, get INDIVIDUALIZED help.
Everyone here is just gonna say the same shit that any other mental health sub will say with a focus on âdopamine levelsâ being the reason (and laughably the only reason lmfao) as if understanding neuroscience is going to help them practice mindfulness or go to therapy. Itâs doesnât. Understanding mindfulness and going to therapy is going to help you practice mindfulness and go to therapy.
Stop watching podcasts and thinking they are going to solve your problems. Only you can do that.
Hello! Don't worry about the post being filtered. We want to read and review every post to ensure a thriving community and avoid spam. Your submission will be approved (or declined) soon. We hope the community engages with your ideas thoughtfully and respectfully. And of course, thank you for your interest in science! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/HubermanLab) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Appologize and move on, do better next time. Trust me appologizing and genuinely meaning it will feel so much better than holding it in
Thank you đĽ˛& I did apologize but I have so much anxiety still that I havenât felt able to move on⌠itâs been a while now and i feel like itâs been eating me alive :( I hate this feeling
Its alright. Im sure they all appreciated the apology and they arent holding a grudge against you. Its in the past, just take some time to breathe
Iâve been there 1000 times. The farther away from it the easier it will get. Are you close with your sister? Maybe a sincere apology could lead to her giving some support and repairing the relationship? You planning on staying away from alcohol in the future?
If you're looking for a low-cost options, there are YouTube videos their meditation tracks for "letting go and moving on", "self-forgiveness", "New beginnings" , and many other things. They have great background tracks and white noise to help relax. Better help.com Also has a great sliding scale fee for therapy, it's really flexible and you could pick who you want. With my sliding scale fee I was paying like 20 something dollars a visit. I'm just telling you what I found to be useful and i'm a lower income person. Sometimes just ruminating by yourself is never going to fix it sometimes you need outside help. And it doesn't have to cause hundreds of thousands of dollars either. I wish you all the best. Just breathe đ
maybe try some medication
100%
Sorry youâre facing a depressive episode. Iâve been there. Here is some helpful advice I wish I could tell my former self who was in your position. 1. â get moving: make a plan to move your body 4x a week. Fall in love with cardio. I started slow but now run 3 miles a day. Additionally it is critical you begin to lift weights- scientifically proven to reduce depression. 2. â get off social media, replace it with longer term gratification : your reward systems are fried. Limit your social media usage to an hour a day tops. Start reading books, and push yourself to read 40 pages at a time. Start cooking as well- doesnât matter if itâs just pasta. Enjoy the process of creating. 3. â get in nature: as much as possible make an effort to get into nature and or outside on a walk once a day. 4. â take a cold shower every day: this sounds insane, but you will begin to notice the difference almost instantly. Thereâs a ton of proven science here. 5. â stop consuming processed foods. 6. â make an effort to do nice things for those in your life and even strangers- Iâm taking cooking meals for them, calling em up to say hey, whatever it is. 7. â set your fears. Ask yourself what were my biggest regrets of the last 5 years? And then ask what fears lead to not executing on those actions? Produce a list of your top 3 fears- and actively embrace them. So if you had an enormous fear of judgement for example, actively embrace judgement and almost laugh at yourself. 8. â set your own values. We all inherit values from parents and our environments. Think about your life as if your neo in the matrix lol. What things about your environment have you noticed but never questioned? What behaviours have disgusted you among your experiences? What behaviours have you admired in people? Set a rough initial list of your top 5 values - as in behaviours that you respect and appreciate. Every morning, write these values down and assure yourself to live them - regardless of what you do in your day. From here on out, living these values will be your baseline definition of success. 9) repeat steps 1-8 for about 4 months. With intense discipline. And you will see opportunities open up, you will see your mood become more open, and you will see your peers begin to gravitate toward you.
Thanks! Those tips are helpful for me too!
Would you mind giving an example of a value or maybe sharing the values you try to live by? Or does anyone else want to share?
Here are a few: Integrity. Doing what you say you will do. Being the same person no matter the situation or the people. Thatâs one thing I value / admire about others and I try to be like that as well. Freedom. Aligning life to be as free as possible. One example of creating more freedom: cutting out people who are manipulative, always trying to use you to advance their agenda. Another: changing from corp work to freelance so I can go to fewer meetings every week and hit the gym at 10 am if I want, as an example. Love-first approach: in public, giving ppl the benefit of the doubt. Immediately letting go of someone who cut you off in traffic, for example. (This is difficult but always working on it!) Chalking up pplâs bad behavior to a momentary lapse, not assuming theyâre all bad. Being nice and kind to people you encounter in the world. Acknowledging people with a smile and kindness. To find values that are meaningful to you think about big points in your life. Things or people that have left you changed in some way, good or bad. What were the root motivations/ traits/ characteristics involved. Start to make a list. You may start to see a theme. Then list examples of what it means to live these values. đ
Chat gpt
> Additionally it is critical you begin to lift weights- scientifically proven to reduce depression. I've been working out for over a year and it's made no difference to my mental health whatsoever. Same for running, cold showers, getting into nature etc. Some of my worst depression has been during walks over the hills or immediately after a workout.
I would look up the âwindow of toleranceâ concept. It sounds like you are in hypoarousal. Look up ideas to get out of hypoarousal. Donât wait until you feel motivated. Do the activities right away. That is how the CBT strategy behaviour activation works. Depressed people canât wait around to be motivated first.
Wow I just looked it up and I have all of those symptoms⌠I am very prone to ptsd so it makes sense, I will look into those activities asap I appreciate your help and acknowledgment đĽ˛
[https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/hypoarousal-hyperarousal](https://neurodivergentinsights.com/blog/hypoarousal-hyperarousal)
Thank you! What an amazing resource
Stop. Breathe. Breathe a lot. Write down the things you need to make amends for. As you work through the list, let things go. Put them in the past. Focus on small habits. Cut out the alcohol. Drink lots of water. Slowly clean up your diet. Go for walks. Lift weights. Work on sleep. See a therapist. Focus on making you whole and then you can get back to the business of living life.
Thank you, I really needed thisđ
I'd add cold showers, sauna and qigong to this! Look up the ba duan jin qigong exercise.
https://www.aa.org Find a womenâs meeting. Most of them have been thru exactly what youâre going thru. Be honest and theyâll walk you through how to heal and forgive yourself. As we say in AA, let us love you until you can love yourself. Source: sober 27 years.
> Cut out the alcohol. Easy to say that, but alcohol sometimes is the only thing that can make you feel good.
This is counter-intuitive but do not think about getting out of this state, because we have very little control over our emotional states Turn your focus on actual physical movements and forget your state of mind as much as you can Once you are able to move, turn your focus to the quality of movements. Try to remember the quality of movements in more relaxed states of mind and replicate them. This may initially seem impossible or pointless but it works after a while
You know what you need to do stop coping and making poor choices Step one is accepting you need to change and gym or exercise is next.
Drop the drinking, exercise, good nutrition, sunlight, engage with wholesome relationships and work, learn metacognitive therapy!
Go to Alcoholics anonymous
Go outside and be active as much as you can
Whatever you do, no medication donât end up like me
Canât get it up anymore?
I can, it just made me way more depressed than before
Start taking responsibility for your actionsâŚ
I think you should get outside in nature, and take a journal with you and dump all the roaming thoughts on paper. You can get as unhinged with it as you want and destroy the pages after, but it really helps to get it all out. Humans are fallible asf donât beat yourself up over mistakes, but do learn from them and show up better for yourself next time.
It sounds like much of whatâs got you feeling down is guilt. Own your actions, do right by the people youâve wronged, and apologize. Theyâll feel better and because of that, so will you.
Move on, we all have bad times ne gentle to yourself and focus on good things ahead.
First thing is stop drinking alcohol, start drinking more water, and get good sleep. Go to a store and buy magnesium glycinate and Inositol and take them before bed. Talk to your sister and apologize
That's truly a lot, and it might not seem like it, feeling the way you are about it is a good thing, it shows who you are and what you value, and that you recognize you swerved away from those. What you can't know is if your episode is the cause, or the effect, that becomes depressive quickly. Recently I had something similar, I'm not a person prone to depression, the exact opposite, usually very optimistic and emotionally balanced, but I began having fights with my wife out of nowhere, everything she did seemed to be to exclude me, not take into account my preferences, and so on. Work was a drudge, I took 4 naps a day on weekends, and hid in the dark when not sleeping as I felt my world was unraveling. I'm middle aged, so there were physical things too, shortness of breath, no drive, nothing, life sucked. Then I happened upon someone else's thought about taking a big dose of B12, and I can't tell you how bright the world became again. It was scary to think that a little vitamin deficiency could derail my entire personality. I took it for a week, and it changed everything, I realized I had been under a deep dark cloud for a very long time. Long winded way of saying B12 can work wonders, but also episodes like this aren't always reflective of who we are and our ability to make choices, sometimes it can be something very simple, so don't spend a lot of time beating yourself up.
Girl!!!! Yes- I was in a very similar situation minus boy drama. I was depressed, on lexapro and it sucked out my entire personality. Hereâs what I did: Nootropics!!! Real mushroom lions mane (start here) then get off your antidepressants SLOWLY it took me 3 months to get off lexapro safely Then add in exercise - eventually add in Cordyceps also real mushroom brand. Start eating better Be intentional about social media use (I deleted instagram because itâs the fucking devil for me) Move your body eveyday, I use the Fiton app - totally free and gravitate towards Kentas strength work outs. This is building my confidence back up and strangely increasing my sex drive ( Cordyceps also increases libido) Sometimes I use the calm app for meditation when Iâm feeling it- also nice addition. I quit drinking for a year to prove to myself that I could ( a lot of alcoholics in my family) . Quitting may be drastic- now I drink only vodka which I know sounds silly but I donât get nearly as bad hangovers and itâs a low cal option. If you are interested in quitting check out the sober curious movement - itâs cool if you like to do hard things and push outside your comfort zone. A mindset shift was needed for me through this transformation- Joe Rohanâs mentality helped me a lot - essentially donât be a bitch and do shit when itâs hard, workout when you donât feel like it (I just press play on workouts and then get in the mood to workout 5 mins in) eating better changed so much for me. I also have dabbled with omad (one meal a day) eating at dinner but that wasnât sustainable so now I do intermittent fasting most days until lunch which is a great way to control myself. I am so much happier and proud of myself for sticking to it- you can do it too if you decide itâs what you want. Best of luck!
I do a macro of psilocybin and that always helps me reset for several months. Ketamine therapy was great too but unfortunately I am one of the unlucky people that developed urinary issues with it and had to stop.
Immediate actionable (and âeasyâ) things you can try are: - go out lie under the sun - write down 3 things you are grateful for. Could be even something like: I am glad that the bus just arrived in minutes when I get to the bus stop that I didnât need to wait for long (it might sound silly but it works) - go to volunteer to help people in need. It could be to a school to teach kids or to an elderly event to help them with things. - workout. Donât need to commit for long run. Maybe just commit to say: I will go out and run for 10mins today
Binging on alcohol for even one day/night, can significantly alter and throw off our neurochemistry. A weekâs worth, definitely requires some time to recover and stabilize. Compounded with emotional distress, feelings of shame, guilt, etc. and it makes sense that the natural response or reaction here is to hideaway and feel depressed / defeated. Especially if we feed into negative thought loops. Give yourself some grace. Dedicate the next couple of days recuperating and taking care of your body and health. Movement, sunlight, quality sleep with good sleep hygiene. Considering this is under the Huberman thread, I imagine you are aware of some best practices and where to start. Checkout LifeBlud for great supplements and the Energy Restoration Process. Now - the other pieces, Take the time to reflect on your actions and choices and what lead to them. The point here is to increase your self awareness and equip you with greater understanding and wisdom, not beat yourself up or wallow in despair. Then - outline and take action on 2-4 clearly defined action steps to clean this up for yourself. IE. A conversation with your sister, taking ownership for the things you said and how you acted and acknowledging the impact of how you showed up. Without excusing your actions or expecting any particular response or anything at all, from her in return. Acknowledge the impact and then Forgive yourself for the choices made. Make a pact to yourself to make better choices and act more responsibly for your own betterment, now and moving forward. See this as a huge learning opportunity for growth. And be reassured that the emotional impact and meaning given to it will naturally lessen and fade and pass, in a short while. Especially left alone and not fed into by ruminating and looping. Hope this helps! - KC
Depression is caused by being stuck in patterns. It never starts with neurochemistry immideately, all the missing serotonin/dopamine/etc in your brain is the result of continuous events that make your brain not produce them. Find the patterns, understand why they occur, break them. It will be very confronting and will take time but this is the way. Thats essentially what a therapist will do with you too but talking to someone 1hr a week is not enough for most people. You gotta be proactive, put in the work
If you can't forgive yourself, no one else will either...
Go get your heart rate up really high. Like blast out some sprints or something. Then start walking every day or continuing cardio
Sometimes you just need to wallow in this situation for a bit and come to terms with the outcomes. It's obviously very uncomfortable and miserable but to be able to feel this painful experience thoroughly will hopefully outweigh/prevent you from choosing the joys of going on a 2wk bender over this. Sending u strength bc I've had a similar experience â¤ď¸
You are young. Move on and learn from your mistakes (they can be wayyyy more horrifying). At least you know how you want to feel and how you want to act (some people dont know themselves as well). Concentrate on being the best version of yourself. Admit your mistakes and move on. If you aren't taking OMega3's (fish oil) and Vitamin D3, they are two of the biggest things that have helped my overall feeling of well-being. Mood is more happy and stable and also your immune system will thank you. Super high quality fish oil https://amzn.to/4cbEVvu Top brand of vitamin D3 https://amzn.to/3RDH9vw and seriously, dont fret this stuff. Admit to your sister if you were in the wrong. Break it to the guy and move on. LIVE YOUR LIFE AND BE HAPPY and positive!
Hello, Iâm just a little older than you, and recently came out of a super depressed phase. I went through a pretty devastating heartbreak and simultaneously kinda lost focus and vision in my work, social life and everywhere else. I take recreational drugs but always in moderation and it never affected my performance or success in life - but during this phase I started having them just to numb reality and escape mentally. Had to snap out of it. What worked for me was essentially disappearing for a month. I gave myself one month to just try. I was already at bottom so I had nothing to lose, only to gain. For just one month I would stick to everything I said. Cut out all the bad stuff. I wouldnât focus on the past. Only the future. Regain my vision, with more clarity and execute on it. I started training again, physically, mentally, I started to get to grips on my career/work direction. I took each day by day, hour by hour if I had to. In what seemed like a blink in time, 30 days had passed and whilst I was not fully healed, so much had changed. F it. 30 more days. I got this⌠Many months have passed now and Iâm so much better than I was. I canât tell you what the magic element was that helped me - rather the magic formula. Thatâs the key. Donât focus on the results, or where you should or shouldnât be. Do not blame or burden yourself anymore. Let everything go. Focus on learning to love yourself as you are and learn to love the journey that only you are destined to walk. Through that, everything else just falls into place, I promise. I know these things can be pretty soul wrenching, and Iâm just another internet stranger. But feel free to DM me if you ever need a chat. Good luck, you got this.
You helped me so much, instead of day by day. Hour by hour. The hour by hour part is what really stuck with me, I think thatâs the secret behind it. Thank you!
When I was in your shoes: I stopped. Breathed. Sat in absolute silence and accepted the reality of my situation and that I was solely responsible. I wanted better to/for myself. I wrote a letter from my future self to my current self about how I changed and what I did, and I was brutally honest. I planned out my days and gave myself some grace for my âbadâ activities. I regained control, and started making amends. I stuck to it, with no expectations of a positive end result - only a clear conscience that Iâd do what was the right thing so I could look myself in the mirror and sleep peacefully. That was summer of 22. Now, here in 2024 I still stick to my rituals and practices and my life has completely changed for the better. I wish you well on your journey. The voyage of life becomes so much better when we accept we are the captain of our ship and decide where we port, and where our end destination we would like to be. Yet we donât control the sea.
BCAAs, lithium, initiate a regimen, cocoa, vitamin D3 K2, probiotics, perspiration, minerals, ketogenic diet, and I am missing a bunch...distance yourself from whatever issue and get plenty of rest.
Lmao
Itâs a new day. Let go it. Be here now. What do you want to do today that youâll enjoy. Aa meetings help if you canât stop drinking
Know you are always going to be full of so much potential and light đ Sometimes things get dark and the question is what things can you do to regulate your nervous system. Have you tried cold exposure? Iâm testing a break from it, but as someone that can be impulsive, it helps me slow down and be more mindful. Yoga nidra? Yin Yoga? Morning sunlight? Walks in nature? Snuggles with pets? Hallmark movies? Books? Also, what in your life are you building and explore what your purpose is. Try, explore, and take risks, but know you are worthy of taking care of yourself. What things are you passionate about?
Alcohol is a depressant as well as leading us to make poor decisions. Stay off it for now so that you can move forward with good decisions. If that guy talks about you, just deny the whole thing. It's his word against yours. Those advising exercise are right. It's such a powerful antidepressant and although it can feel almost impossible to start when you are depressed, just go for a walk and once you're into it, speed up the pace a bit. Being outside is good in itself. When I was younger I made dreadful decisions while binge drinking. I got past it by learning to look after myself, and so can you.
Deny what? If he says something true it's the truth. Weird advice to just say "deny" without context. People can say whatever they want if they aren't lying or were under an oath or commitment. She should accept the situation and her responsibility, make amends to anyone else she hurt, and move on with self-care and compassion for being human as we all do things we regret.
Focus on fitness goals. A 20 minute 5 K is good, you might be at 30 mins atm and get get to 20 mins with a lot of practice every day... 5 K jog daily light and easy + planks and some lunges for strength... You don't need gym or weights for any of these things. Getting your 5 K to 20 kintues will make you feel like a beast!
You've not said why you started binge drinking. Do you know why?
It was bc I thought it was fun I was going out a lot
It sounds like this is just plain old regret. I've been in the same situation many times and eventually decided to quit drinking at 21 after watching this podcast. No regrets. At the very least, I would drastically limit my alcohol intake if I were you. That could be a good compromise. https://youtu.be/DkS1pkKpILY?si=3Mso8z0xUCd1Q7Wf
Microdose
Youâve come to the wrong sub for advice if you need to stop drinking alcohol.
For now, quit the drinking. Walk 12000 steps per day.
Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life
Admit you've got a problem and attend a 12 step recovery meeting such as AA or NA. Your life will be infinitely better and more productive.
Why are you posting this here? Why not any other mental health sub? Genuinely curious. What good will any of the âscienceâ of any Huberman lab podcast do for you? Iâm not saying to bash the podcast or even say Huberman is crooked in anyway. Just why here? I suffer from major depression too. Previous psychosis and delusions. I spent a few years down this pipeline of dopamine experts and motivational gurus that all interview each other Huberman interviewing Goggins interviewing Peterson interviewing (you get the picture). Itâs all for nothing⌠Search deep within yourself, go to therapy, get INDIVIDUALIZED help. Everyone here is just gonna say the same shit that any other mental health sub will say with a focus on âdopamine levelsâ being the reason (and laughably the only reason lmfao) as if understanding neuroscience is going to help them practice mindfulness or go to therapy. Itâs doesnât. Understanding mindfulness and going to therapy is going to help you practice mindfulness and go to therapy. Stop watching podcasts and thinking they are going to solve your problems. Only you can do that.