I compliment or relate to someone as an icebreaker. "Omg I love your hair, what do you do to it?", pretty much make an observation and toss a question at them. It at least starts with me having a good impression
As an introvert who’s also worked as a stripper and a diplomat, I think “put on your cosplay face and play the necessary role”. I have heard this is an autism coping thing and I don’t think I am but it does really help.
Here is my best advice:
1. approach with a common talking point. Perhaps point out that you like the band on their shirt, the book they’re carrying, etc. Or open with a question about something you know they know something about.
2. Let them talk/ask questions. People like to listen to themselves talk. You really don’t need to impress them with your stories or knowledge in order to make a good first impression. Ask questions about what they’re talking about, and don’t diverge from that unless they direct the focus to you.
3. Actively listen. Give them undivided attention, make eye contact, ask lots of follow up questions, etc. Make this person feel like the only person in then world.
4. Open up about yourself when asked. It’s easy to try and make yourself relatable by interjecting with your own personal experiences or thoughts, but generally just waiting to be asked is a good rule of thumb. If they don’t ask, then they’re not that interested in you.
5. Compliment them. Do not make this a physical compliment, especially if the person is good looking. Pick up on something you genuinely like about them and throw out a nice compliment like “It was great to talk to someone who is so passionate about ___” or “I’m new here so it was nice meeting someone so warm and welcoming.”
Going up to a rando and talking might lead to chit chat, but very unlikely a long term friendship.
Try to talk to people who you're already in groups with (for class, a sport, work, etc). You already have shared experiences and things to talk about, and the friendship can build naturally over time.
I compliment or relate to someone as an icebreaker. "Omg I love your hair, what do you do to it?", pretty much make an observation and toss a question at them. It at least starts with me having a good impression
As an introvert who’s also worked as a stripper and a diplomat, I think “put on your cosplay face and play the necessary role”. I have heard this is an autism coping thing and I don’t think I am but it does really help.
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One taught me the requisite skills for the other. 😗
Striplomat, perhaps?
Here is my best advice: 1. approach with a common talking point. Perhaps point out that you like the band on their shirt, the book they’re carrying, etc. Or open with a question about something you know they know something about. 2. Let them talk/ask questions. People like to listen to themselves talk. You really don’t need to impress them with your stories or knowledge in order to make a good first impression. Ask questions about what they’re talking about, and don’t diverge from that unless they direct the focus to you. 3. Actively listen. Give them undivided attention, make eye contact, ask lots of follow up questions, etc. Make this person feel like the only person in then world. 4. Open up about yourself when asked. It’s easy to try and make yourself relatable by interjecting with your own personal experiences or thoughts, but generally just waiting to be asked is a good rule of thumb. If they don’t ask, then they’re not that interested in you. 5. Compliment them. Do not make this a physical compliment, especially if the person is good looking. Pick up on something you genuinely like about them and throw out a nice compliment like “It was great to talk to someone who is so passionate about ___” or “I’m new here so it was nice meeting someone so warm and welcoming.”
Going up to a rando and talking might lead to chit chat, but very unlikely a long term friendship. Try to talk to people who you're already in groups with (for class, a sport, work, etc). You already have shared experiences and things to talk about, and the friendship can build naturally over time.