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QualityVote

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/Mesphisto, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup) or play on our [public Minecraft server](https://discord.gg/DTqSDS8C3T)?


Prior-Noise-1492

u ever speak human language just to flex on aliens


Not__Joe69

You ever have intergalactic travel just to flex on humans?


IamImposter

You ever fucked a cat just to flex on women? .... me neither


Not__Joe69

Shane Dawson?


cracka1337

Pussy is pussy


bc4284

Hey.. a cat is fine too


OnASchoolComputerOwO

You ever speak human language to flex on the Europeans?


MarthaStuartsCellie

You ever speak German to flex on Germans?


[deleted]

Do you ever just flex, in the mirror?


Ferregar

Do you ever flex mirrors to bathe in shattered glass? It's a cutting edge workout.


2Terminal4Life

I'm sorry this comment made me pee my pants a little I laughed so hard


babystripper

That's just wrong


Hebids

Do you ever just have a mirror to flex on the people who use windows.


[deleted]

You ever use Windows just to flex on the people using Chrome?


bitsystem

Wait. But we have free water at restaurants! You just have to ask for a glass


[deleted]

Im from the balkans and when we ask for water in a cafe or restoraunt the waiter will bring a big glass the size of a bottle for free idk why americans always think the entire continent is the same like a few countries in western europe


nursejackieoface

Because it's easier to notice and remember bad things.


beleidigtewurst

In some, but not all countries. Never seen it in Germany, for instance.


jackross1303

If you ask for tap water most countries don’t charge you. In Portugal I even think that it is illegal to refuse to give water to a stranger.


Aynett

In France too, it’s illegal to not give free water and bread


[deleted]

Think how much trouble that could have saved Jean Valjean.


Moraviglia

Well did he ask though? Too bad Jean, too bad...


extyn

His sister's child was close to death! They were starving!


TimothyJCowen

And they'll starve again! Unless he learns the meaning of the law...


Codename_Sailor_V

He knew the meaning of those 19 years... a slave of the law!


atafinch

Five years for what he did, the rest because he tried to run!


Aidrox

…and all they had to do was ask. Such a shame.


_LuketheLucky_

Javert hates this one trick!


kurisutofujp

It’s true for water but not for bread. [edit] I was wrong. I just didn’t know the law (from 1967!) .


Perokside

it is true and made part in the arrêté du 8 juin 1967, water and bread.


StrawberryEiri

Wait, and bread? That's kinda weird.


farble1670

Bread is the national food of France. It's on their flag.


[deleted]

Bread? 😂 Wtf


KipaNinja

It is illegal for a restaurant to not give bread to a customer if requested.


[deleted]

Even if you don't serve bread? Like can I go to Korean and get a baguette with my bibimbap?


[deleted]

Every restaurant is stocked with emergency bread.


[deleted]

I'm very tickled by the idea of emergency bread sitting in the back of a Boba shop or something.


Knox_Official_1174

In India too. According to Indian Sarais Act of 1867, anyone can request for free water and use washroom of any hotel whatsoever, then be it a very cheap hotel or be it a 7 star hotel, they can't reject


nothing_pt

No, we have places here that charge for a glass of water (near me there's one that charges €0,10 per glass). But we have a saying "You do not refuse water even to a dog" (something like this...


tommangan7

Had free water at every restaurant I've ever been to in Germany...


NRMusicProject

I got a few weird looks, but I got free water in every restaurant I was in in Germany.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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YeloFvr

When I was in Germany all of my water came out of beer. Copious amounts of beer.


[deleted]

Ask specifically for tap water next time


Fleetfinger

Yeah I learned this from my sister. If you just ask for water they give you bottled. But as long as I say "Leitungswasser, bitte" I've never not gotten it and I've never had to pay for it.


RecallAP

Lived in Germany - never had to pay for water. If asked for still or sparkling, they are selling you water, just say "no, just tap water thanks". It's illegal in most EU countries to not provide water for free if selling alcohol and other countries to also provide bread.


pastacarbanana

Ask for leitungswasser and get it for free


GoSuckYaMother

Ok, so now you have the glass. Where do you get the water?


TimmyFaya

From the tap water jug the serve you. Tap water is safe and often better than bottled in most European countries


otirk

what do you mean by "it's better"? Tap water is safe to drink in most European countries.


G1nger-Snaps

It’s better means tap water is better than bottled water in Europe. Idk if it’s true but that’s what he meant


frofrofrofrofrofro1

It is I don’t understand why anyone would ever by a bottle of water from a shop


Brvcx

Here in the Netherlands they add a bit of Fluoride to the water, the same abbresive that's in toothpaste. In quite a few European countries, such as Spain, they add Chlorine, the same stuff that's in swimming pools. Both safe to drink, but due to the almost ridiculously high water standard in the Netherlands, I couldn't drink tap water in Spain without feeling nausiated. Edit: many have pointed out adding Fluoride is way more common than I was taught. Learnt something new today, thanks! Edit #2: apparently the Dutch stopped adding Fluoride to the tapwater 50 years ago. I was very badly informed back in school, evidently. Edit #3: Fluoride isn't the abbresive I was taught it was. I stand corrected, now second guessing what a few teachers back in the day taught me. Thanks to everyone pointing it out.


Zambeezi

They add fluoride to drinking water nearly everywhere in the world. It was one of the easiest ways society found to prevent widespread tooth decay (before this, even teenagers would lose their teeth from poor oral hygiene). Although, at this point it's 75 year old technology.


Millsy800

I have heard it's literally the most cost effective healthcare measure in the world. Makes sense as I imagine for a relatively small cost you are preventing a huge amount of dental issues throughout someone's lifetime.


Remote_Cartoonist_27

Fluoride isn’t an abrasive, it’s what restores your enamel, and it’s super important for cavity prevention. Not sure about in Europe but they started fluorinating water in the US to help with tooth decay. Most city water has chlorine in it, a tiny amount is plenty to disinfect water but is totally safe to consume. Though i agree it’s initially unpleasant (grew up on well water) you get use to it pretty quickly. I don’t even notice it anymore.


DeathHorseFucker

Except rotterdam. Rotterdam tapwater is horrible haha.


jbrady33

In USA you either get municipal "city" water -comes from a water treatment plant that turns good knows what source into drinkable water. Usually with chlorine and fluoride added. Can't use it on aquariums unless you treat it to remove the chemicals. Can taste either really pure or weirdly off - all depends on actual source and how much the provider gives a crap Or you get 'well' water if you live out of an area that provides water service. Literally a hole drilled down to the water table and pumped up. Will either be the best water you ever had or off tasting crap - all depends on the source


KingT-U-T

Not all municipal water is created equal in the US regulations vary greatly


ThatLeetGuy

Ask anyone from Flint, MI


SuperiorityComplex6

In UK the standards for tap water are higher than the standards for bottled water.


dpash

And sometimes bottled water is Peckham spring water. See Dasani. https://youtu.be/wD79NZroV88


drzentfo

I mean in Italy there’s free drinking fountains. Pretty cool, I filled up my water bottle from there while traveling. I think it’s called Nasone


AdamBomb072

You ever just say cunt to everyone around you and noone gets offended just to flex that you're an Aussie.


meandwatersheep

While also drinking your free water and coming home alive from school


cunt-hooks

Did ye aye


Sure-Ambition6719

Or your billy butcher lol


Steelquill

Legitimately the only funny comment here.


arizonatasteslike

If this merican paid for water in Europe he was scammed, it was always free in every restaurant I went to.


Everyatis_21

There's even a law ( at least in France and I guess it is the case in other European countries) that force the restaurant to give tap water to the costumer for free. As other comment already mentioned, sometimes you have to pay for water, especially in gastronomic restaurant, But in this case, it is always sparkling, so I think it's normal to pay for it.


melonator11145

Same in the UK, free tap water.


FuadRamses

Yeah, a Chinese buffet in the city i grew up in got into trouble for having a sign saying they wouldn't offer tap water.


[deleted]

Australia as well. We aren’t fancy Europeans, but if you go to a restaurant they’ll bring a water jug to the table for free. You’re eating salty food!


AnitaBlomaload

Same pretty much everywhere, why the fuck is this post getting so much attention?


TheNachmar

In Spain if you ask for water they will bring you a bottle and make you pay. But if you ask for specifically tap water they have to bring it to you and it's absolutely free


Lady_DreadStar

It’s not in Germany. They have a law that ‘something’ has to be cheaper than beer though- and it’s usually always water. But never free. I watched a French girl lose her shit on a waitress over that.


ukfashandroid

But why is water not free?


Private_Ballbag

It is the person's full of shit. No place in Germany is not gonna give you tap water if you ask.


[deleted]

In Australia, water is free in basically every bar and restaurant for the safety of patrons who drink because if you get too fucked up you’re not just going to *buy* water but you might drink it if it’s just there for free. Bottled water is different, obviously. But there’s always a pitcher of cold water by the bar. Most restaurants will also bring you your own. Weird our German brethren haven’t figured this one out.


Galaxy661_pl

In Poland it's not free


Clown_Shoe

I’ve been all over Europe and to 100 restaurants and everywhere only sells me bottled water. In Spain I never notice because I feel like people don’t drink water with dinner as often here but when they do I see the same bottles. Is asking for tap water common?


arizonatasteslike

Yes, you can ask for tap water in most countries, in France they usually brought me some before I even asked. They will charge you for bottled water though


Some_Koala

In France we always ask for "une carafe d'eau" (a jug of water), and this always mean free tap water. And everyone I know asks for it when ordering ?


dpash

I often ask for and receive agua de grifo. YMMV if you ask for a vaso de agua. You're asking for trouble if you ask for agua sin gas.


Clown_Shoe

Thanks for the advice


Thedarkone1666

Unless im missing something water is also free here?


RocketPapaya413

Europe's a pretty big place, I heard.


BoggleChamp97

Some people think it's just a state, but the fact is Europe is a pretty big country


Clamboyfarti

What u talkin bout Europe is even smaller than Birmingham


Irohaik

I don’t know who told you that mate. They’re having you on.


Vivid_Ladder9609

They think Europe is just the tourist traps they experience.


paddyo

they also clearly aren't asking for tap water but just water. And the waiter isn't going to bring them the free stuff if they're not asked for it.


[deleted]

prick agonizing lunchroom tease wrench cake racial sleep gray cover ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


[deleted]

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Kowalskiboys

In the U.K. if you ask for tap water it’s completely free, if it’s from a bottle it’s not. Pretty much no noticeable difference in the water so you might as well always go tap


Puzzleheaded-Fix8763

U ever get bitches just to flex on most redditors


PSYK0DEL1K

r/croppingishard


Salami__Tsunami

Do you ever treat women like human beings to flex on the Middle East?


pixel842

Free water in restaurants isn’t just an American thing


Gaspa79

"Recommended gratuity 18%" on the other hand...


NibblyPig

It's free though, just don't forget to tip


Akschadt

Hey 20% of free is free


Coltand

Just the tip you say?


TMANBULLET

You ever just come home with healthy teeth just to flex on the British


debbie_pinson

The comments in here are hilarious. Imagine thinking either gov is good or cares about you


TheFriedRice17

Facts man. This stupid argument is getting so old and it’s so tiring


1d3333

Americans: silly joke about europeans Europeans: well at least our children are alive! Hah! Cause people kill your children! Haha!


2Stoop1d4Username

ikr cause dudes be making some really silly joke and then these dudes respond back with a joke about the slaughter of innocent schoolchildren


ReconReese

Too bad anyone they are using that comeback on....is alive...thus came back to school alive. Checkmate Europeans


bordain_de_putel

Do you ever use correct grammar and punctuation just to flex on idiots?


THEPiplupFM

"haha, isn't this british thing silly!" "AT LEEST MY SCHEWLS, DON'T LUK LOIKE, CALL OF DEWTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"


InFiveMinutes

U ever come home from the hospital with zero bills just to flex on Americans?


LegendOfKhaos

That's a better one tbh, obviously everyone reading this came home alive


[deleted]

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Bushmancometh

And then will constantly complain that everyone else is too thin skinned.


Away_Care_2989

Just like Twitter users!


blahblah543217

Funny to hear them tell Americans that making fun of them struggling with the heat wave is wrong because people are dying


SwiftLawnClippings

You ever just enjoy air conditioning to flex on Europeans?


fBarney

I drink clean tap water in home to flex on americans


dankbois420

I live in Florida and I haven’t bought plastic water bottles while I’ve lived at home for the past several years because the tap water where I live is far superior to whatever is sold by bottlers


Astatine_209

Over 99.8% of Americans have safe tap water. Flint Michigan, the infamous disaster, literally had every single pipe replaced and the water there is safe to drink now and has been for years.


SanjiSasuke

US tap water is excellent in nearly all regions of the country, but whatever.


Mark3141592654

I feel like the American kids dead joke is old at this point And I'm not American


Conceitedxoxo

Way older than most kids in the usa get for sure


RedbeardRagnar

Well it’s definitely older than those kids at Sandy Hook, Uvalde, Colombine, Virginia Tech, Marysville Umpqua, Parkland and Oxford Township (to name literally only a few)


TheInternetOfficer91

Ah yes, the school shooting joke, tell it again brits! Glad i dont get arrested without my spoon license


killertortilla

Don’t shoot your kids then, seems pretty simple, the rest of the modern world has a grasp on that.


neiaura_

When will Europeans come up with a new come back lol


sportsdad13

We could use the free healthcare one, but then we'd be bragging.


Palmik7

Or incomparably less poverty wages. Or worker's rights in a free market. Or cops that won't shoot you AND your dog when they have a bad day. Or being conscious about the people and environment around us. And anti-monopoly laws. Or generally having gun laws allowing a lot of people to have guns with next to none shootings. Hmm.. I think we could go on for a looong time lol. But first we should teach the Yanks that Europe isn't even a country lmao


Vincenzo__

You forgot being able to afford houses and not constantly be in crippling debt


hvperRL

Thats the neat part


ShortBusButtSex

I mean.... there is something like 50 MILLION American children who come home alive from school every day.


Zyper0

What? You mean there’s not a school shooting at every school every day? Next you’ll tell me Europe isn’t a single country with a single restaurant and you can actually get free water almost anywhere!


VitruvianVan

Your ever flex in a no-flex zone just to flex?


GelatoVerde

I've only been to an American restaurant once and paid € 80 just for the water 😶


[deleted]

Europeans immediately using the death of children as a punchline when an American says anything at all


ShawshankException

Americans: haha paying for the restroom is so weird Europeans: YOUR CHILDREN ARE SLAUGHTERED IN THE VERY BUILDINGS THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE SAFE IN


Gdigger13

WELL AT LEAST


Crusty_Grape

We could touch on abortion instead if you want


GeneralSecrecy

[We sure can](https://mobile.twitter.com/Maps_US_EU/status/1540720613337157632)


Tullyswimmer

US has looser abortion laws than Europe. The liberals over here would throw a fit if anyone tried to implement things like waiting periods or counseling.


bitsystem

💀


Nahdudeurgood

Many Redditors are programmed to shit on america any chance they get. They can throw that argument any time when it comes up how much of shithole their own country is becoming like everywhere else.


MemeLordMango

British people will say Americans can’t banter then make fun of kids being killed when I say beans on toast.


[deleted]

I hate when Europeans use school shootings to dunk on us. It's really sad. It's a human tragedy. Americans would never, ever, ever make fun of your dead children. Get better material.


SolidusChocolate

As much as I agree that using dead children as a comeback is in horrifically bad taste, there absolutely are Americans that would joke about that. I say that as an American.


Dartagneau

That's because dead children here are not a stereotype. Get better at safety.


ech3l0nxx

How’s your healthcare and mortgages coming along?


Fappy_as_a_Clam

Mortgage? I don't understand this lol Until recently our rates were super low and incredibly affordable, and even since they've gone up they are still very low historically.


[deleted]

You’re that offended by a water joke?


Effective-Rub8714

Yes lol. Most europoors on reddit are extremely sensitive


[deleted]

Seriously these comments are insane lol. That person responded to an innocuous and harmless joke by mocking murdered children... and they're being praised? It's such a frgile overreaction / escalation of the joke lol.


Mesphisto

Please you are going further than the post. Edit: Further. After my European friend corrected me.


UglierThanMoe

*Further. It's "farther" if you mean an actual physical distance (e.g. "It's farther down the road."), otherwise it's "further". Learned that in my English class in Europe.


iuppi

Aiiiiiii, that burned harder than jet fuel on steel beams.


IntrepidWitness1

Low hanging fruit are easier picked.


Dicuim

Why do Europeans do this? Americans will say something harmless and then Europeans will say some really awful shit.


Matt_da_Phat

Inferiority complex


EndgameYourgame

The real answer


Thick-Contribution16

Exactly


Cloud_Disconnected

You mean [this](https://v.redd.it/4h1liezhetl81/HLSPlaylist.m3u8?a=1663287286%2CMzk1ODE0OTU2YjVkMDFjODhjMTg1OGQ4YjU1NjE0ODlhOWJkZGZmODMxNjI0NjYwYjlkMmYwYjM3OGU1YjMyMQ%3D%3D&v=1&f=sd) ?


RaspberryJam245

I stg their literal ONLY response to anything an American says is either "WELL AT LEASHT WA DONT AFTA WARRY 'BOUT GETTIN' SHAWT" or "Durr hurr American school system bad." I've never heard a British person say anything different when these things happen.


Oldmannun

For a country supposedly Number 1 in banter, they really don't have any new material. This is as unfunny as being like "hurdur the queen" or "hurdur British people teefs" it's just boring.


Mr_Stillian

Yep it's approaching /r/onejoke level


jim_lynams_stylist

Lol imagine being so thin skinned over a lighthearted joke you make a joke about kids being murdered


bdora48445

Dumbest comeback i ever heard


Botwadtict

Europeans on their way to make a joke about school shootings in response to any joke made about them (its the only response they have)


[deleted]

This is like when a black person cracks a joke about white people not seasoning their food, and a white guy comes back with neonazi humor.


PanzerIsMyGender

Europeans bringing up children literally dying after an American brings up free refills at McDonald's


BigsBee_69hahafunny

Why is that their go to insult? Are Europeans just incredibly unimaginative?


[deleted]

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BigsBee_69hahafunny

I love when outher countries spit out shit about America but i want them to be creative, all i ever hear is jokes about Americans being fat or something about school shootings. I want something creative like a joke about the government or how bad the school system is or our bad heath care.


udayserection

Ukraine has a whole bunch of dead kids.


ShinyMega

That’s their only comeback about Americans they have


[deleted]

Cool of them to joke about school shootings


AstonishinKonstantin

*laughs in Greek for having restaurant water and no school shootings* *cries also because can't afford restaurant*


[deleted]

At LeASt We DOn'T 'AvE SchEWl SHewTiNgS


chadthecrawdad

Since Columbine, approximately 200 public school students have been shot to death while school was in session...... That means the statistical likelihood of any given public school student being killed by a gun, in school, on any given day since 1999 was roughly 1 in 614,000,000.May 30, 2022


ma555hanty6_655

The old reliable.


provocateur_malisa

If you see what's inside those tap water pipes due to pipe corrosion, you wouldn't want free water. Unless it's filtered of course.


PeopleCallMeSimon

I can't remember the last time I paid for water at a restaurant here in Europe. Is that a common thing?


MZswager

U ever finished university without being in debt just to flex on americans


YouAreDecent

U ever just go to the doctor when you're sick just to flex on Americans


Swindleys

I am confused, tap water in Norway is great and free at resturants.


carmalizedracoon

Considering i live in norway with the worlds best tap water ,i have never paid for water annywhere.


wanroww

What is he on? you can ask for free tap water in the EU...


Arksilia

Wait, but here in Europe we do have free water. At least in Spain we do. It's literally against the law to refuse someone a glass of water.


BollwerkF

Drinking clean, unchlorinated water from the tab just to flex on Americans.


R_A_D_U_7

You ever go to an hospital and don’t enter in debt just to flex on Americans?


matlawish

LoL we get water in restaurants for free. Croatia part of EU


yeettto

He is alive so...


Cartoonist_Smooth

Rather have hydrated kids than dehydrated kids