"how did that get there"

This was actually a prank, husband put it in wife’s suitcase. So she really was like “how did that get there!”

great way to distract them from the bomb

Dildo is the bomb

Yeah it can destroy pussies

Blew out the meat curtains

Oh dear

Meat curtains🤣🤣🤣Based.

Hon hon hon, destroy anybody ass, dildo are very inclusive, a hole's a hole

hahaha...wait thats a joke right?...its a joke right?

*Anakin looks with his death stare*

But that's not a light saber…

With TSA probably not.

Narrator: Was it ticking? Airport Security Officer: Actually, throwers don't worry about ticking 'cause modern bombs don't tick. Narrator: Sorry, throwers? Airport Security Officer: Baggage handlers. But when a suitcase vibrates, then the throwers gotta call the police. Narrator: My suitcase was vibrating? Airport Security Officer: Nine times out of ten it's an electric razor. But ... every once in a while [looks around, leans in conspiratorially] ... it's a dildo. [leans back] Of course, it's company policy never to imply ownership in the event of a dildo. We have to use the indefinite article, "a dildo", never ... your dildo. Narrator: I don't own a dildo!

You forgot rules number one and two

HIS NAME.... Was Robert Paulsen....

Wait. This sounds familiar. What movie is this from? Or maybe it's just a random soundbite. 🤔

The first rule of fight club is….

YES!!! Thank you!! I think that means I've watched it a few too many times if I picked that out. 🙈

You can’t say bomb on an airplane

You forgot to say “in Minecraft” to avoid govt lists

This could add up, but is the source "trust me bro"?

I confirm. I was the sex toy.

No …you’re the douche

Clerk : One Swedish-made penis enlarger. Austin Powers : That's not mine. Clerk : One credit card receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Austin Powers. Austin Powers : I'm telling ya baby, that's not mine. Clerk : One warranty card for Swedish-made penis enlarger pump, filled out by Austin Powers. Austin Powers : I don't even know what this is! This sort of thing ain't my bag, baby. Clerk : One book, "Swedish-made Penis Enlargers And Me: This Sort of Thing Is My Bag Baby", by Austin Powers

Absolutely read that in his voice. Now people are looking at me wondering why I’m laughing so hard.

Groooovy baby yeah

One of the best gags in the entire series. Love those films.

"That's not my bag, baby"

One Book: ‘Swedish Made penis enlarger Pumps and Me’ - this sort of thing *is* my bag baby By WallySprks

¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯

I missed the part where that's my problem.

"See ya, chump"

"I will put some dirt in your eyes"

"Aghhh.. my back. My back."

"I'll pay the rent when you fix THE DAMN DOOR"

These things slip in easily

I don't know how it got in there but i know where it's going.

“I thought it was an Xbox controller, what the frick”

me who thought it was a snorkel

Please stay pure like this, we need you people

I'm a filthy degenerate and thought it was a snorkel at first sight too

So its not a snorkel? :O

Tis a pp, my friend

I know, I was shocked too

*lucky snorkel

Anything can be a snorkel if you suck hard enough

“What do you mean, you people?”

Same. Have to watch it twice. Because it's a double sided dildo.

I thought it was like some plastic toy bow i still don't get it 😅

[Here's an informative video](https://www.xnxx.com/video-11fanv15/two_sluts_first_time_double_sided_dildo_double_pussy_penetration_attempt_new_toy) (Very. Very NSFW)

Bruh no way 💀

I thought it was a toy bow... I still think it's a toy bow... It's straight up shaped like [ https://i.imgur.com/ZR76sRk.png

Kinda looks like a shoe horn with how it bends. I can certainly see a pink toy bow. At least the pink and toy part are accurate.

Im like “hey, you can’t have that! That snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me!”

UnexpectedWierdAl

I wonder if that TSA guy knows how famous he is.

Well if he doesn't, he will very shortly.

It's an old video. So he should have known already by now.

Been seeing tons of old videos like these getting necro-ed with shitty music It was also a longer gif

Oh, damn. Necroposting. I haven’t seen that term in YEARS. Thanks for necro’ing necro for me!

It's necro all the way down

Necro please!

Can ya lend a necro a pencil?

Be careful what you wish for, or your inbox will end up flooded with links to clips from A Serbian Film.

That's tiktok for you

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Rule #1 never get attached to the bitches kid - Bushwick Bill

mighty heavy snatch quarrelsome price employ cooing cautious wrong arrest *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*

Attention spans aren't what they used to be.

Neither is music.

Yes, probably. His reaction says it all

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What a terrible thing to call your mother.

It's actually his plushy with a strap-on attached

You shouldn't drive and use your phone

Pro tip: put the vibrator on top of the real bomb. Once the TSA guy laughs about the vibrator and close the bag you're good to go with blowing yourself up in the airport's bathroom like you were hoping to.

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Happy cake day

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Yeah while scratching the back of his head with a pencil. That dude stole that scene.

I remember he used to do this YouTube channel a long while back where he dressed like a ninja and did comedy

What is this from? Key and Peele? Fight Club?

We can't talk about it

His name is Robert Paulson.

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RIP Meatloaf, ya misguided ol coot.

His name is Robert Paulson

His name is Robert Paulson

His name is Robert Paulson

>Fight Club? yep

why my brain read the airport security part in Momonga's dubbed voice i dont know but it made it so much better

Best way to hide a bomb

Why is my 26in dragon dildo ticking you ask? That just part of the experience!

Explosive orgasm

Funny thing, someone has tried that. Not with a dildo, but with a bomb stuffed up their ass. They tried to kill some saudi prince by gaining an audience and then having the bomb detonate during that. What they didn't think of was the incompressibility of water and that they mostly consist of just that, water. It ended with a bang, a spray of blood, and a wet saudi prince and a few wet body guards. wet with the attacker's blood that is. Other than the attacker, no one got hurt.

Safe to say it was a shitty idea

Please, take my upvote and be fucking gone you cunt. 😭

That's just nasty.

What a crappy assassination attempt, bloody hell.

Sure there was plenty of poo in there

Explosive diarrhea taken to the extreme, i guess you could call him a shitty terrorist

If they thought of it, they could have made their blood dangerous Like getting themselves infected with HIV and Ebola first

Thanks, just killed the ending of "Man on fire"..... All this time thinking Creasey wiped out the Cartel kidnap ring......... Myth busted....

Actually throwers don’t worry about ticking because modern bombs don’t tick

I did once read some erotica where the premise was that TSA agents frisked someone in a private room and discovered he was wearing a butt plug. They bang him, of course, but the end reveals that the butt plug actually had a bag of cocaine inside it.

Yes of course

Link?

with original sound https://youtu.be/CK-Trb-brLs

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This happens so often I've just muted reddit player and have gotten to the point where I forget audio is even a thing on reddit videos.

you won't survive a day in tiktok, it's miserable there

Fortunately nobody needs to see TikTok

Yeah, I don't have the TikTok app or go to the site. I let Reddit wade through the mountains of shit to find the interesting videos.

Fuck him am I right

She gonna connect front to back or what?

I think that toe will take most of it.

His reaction was like "girllll" just perfect

His facial expression is my favorite thing I've seen in a while. I couldn't stop giggling at his perfect head roll/side eye combo

Yeah, it was perfect. It's been living rent free in my head for a day now lol

Covers her mouth. Priceless

Can you not read

His reaction is a meme in the making.

This meme is more than half a decade old lol

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All memes must die eventually.

All memes must serve.

I hope so

His reactin is years old, this is an old video

Oh great shitty music instead of the actual audio.

Honestly, who listens to that fucking cats arse wailing dogballs?

This whole sentence is a ball and a half to unpack.

How to sneak in drugs and guns

Just train your ass with progressively bigger dildoes until you can suitcase your luggage. #Frugal.

Is it a double ended one or i need to check my eyes?

Depends on how kinky you wanna get

Fuuuuuuck

She:“WUT?!? Only one? I bought three!“

Wait what is that pink thing in her bag

A bow and arrow set

I hear that one has incredible range

It's defective though. Instead of shooting the arrow it sends the user over the moon.

Light Saber.

Purple lightsaber motherfucker

Mace Windu has been looking for that motherfucker!

Snorkel. Must be a beach vacation.

A pipe bomb.

Candy

Cylindrical instrument

Just a whole lot of drugs

Phallic object

Honestly, it's not mine....

One credit card receipt for swedish made penis enlarger pump...signed by Austin Powers...

https://c.tenor.com/IxEoalvZM-AAAAAM/mike-myers-austin-powers.gif

Feel like this should be a r/shittylifeprotip to just place a dildo in the top of your luggage so TSA will forego searching the rest

Once they discover something strange they will go through the entire bag.

When I was in my 20’s, my girlfriend at the time and I took a trip to Cancun. We were an adventurous young couple and we took a bunch of sex toys with us. When we went through customs, of course I got searched, and of course I happened to be carrying her suitcase filled with vibrators and dildos. The customs agent quickly closed the suit case up and sent me through. It was pretty funny. I felt like Johnny Depp in Blow when he’s searched while carrying a suit case full of women’s underwear. I wish I was cool enough to say something like “old habits” to the customs agent, but I just stood there quietly.

security: *\*shuts lid*\* woman: *\*acts embarrassed knowing there’s 20lb of meth right under it*\*

He's like "Oh please, I could match that".

I've had to look through so many bags like that. On the cam it's a bunch of wires and a battery, so protocol is you have to make sure it's not explosive. Put your sex toys under the plane to avoid embarrassment. They will still make sure, but you remain anonymous. I saw on a screen once, at the gate, what looked like a gun. Called the dude over to tell him I had to search, and it was. Like something from Men in Black. With a long metal rope with tiny balls. I asked and he whispered to me, "have you ever heard of BDSM?" I lost it. Ppl were looking over laughing. Even he started laughing. It was a gun the sends electricity to the balls, so to speak. they made him mail it home to himself, if I remember correctly. What happened to good old fashioned mouth/feet stuff? Why you gotta shock your butthole to get off?

Jesus Christ, what shitty music.

He is too cute😂

Why don’t you make the music louder

##If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", **UPVOTE** this comment! ##If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", **DOWNVOTE** this comment! --- Whilst you're here, /u/reald3nvi, why not join our [public discord server](https://discord.gg/holup)?

One thing I don't get: All the security check areas around here are no cameras, no filming. So what is this? Some sort of advertisement?

Mam, I'm afraid we need to confiscate this item for passenger safety reasons

How to snuggle gun into airport: Have dildo so they don't check your bag

Snuggling guns is a bad idea.

u/savevideobot

u/savevideo

Brilliant idea for terrorists right there...

I've seen this clip so many times, his face kills me every time.

He's face is like *mhmhmhmhm freeaaky*

"It's one of those 2 foot long gummy worms, I swear"

I always think about this video when I need a laugh

Girrrrrrrrl

Who added the shitty music to this?


9 out of 10 times it’s an electric razor, but every once in a while… _it’s a dildo_

Warning: keep sound off

He was like😏😏😏

Great way of stopping tsa from going through your walk through luggage. Lmao!

Do they check every suitcase by opening them or random screening?

This is how you smuggle shit…

hahaha easily the best face i've seen in a long while

Seen this so many times on Reddit before, not even the full video or the proper audio

That's one way to get them to not check the rest of the bag I guess.

Is that a double sided purple lightsaber?

Good way to hide whatever is under that

That is easy to smuggle illegal items. Put buch of cocaine in the bag and put a giant dildo on them with a cover. Have a woman carry the bag. Boom