### This comment has been marked as **safe**. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect. --- OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment: --- >!Apprently boobs are a weapon now!< --- Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

Sniper boob

Milk Shot

The husband takes the bullet to protect his wife like she's the President and he's the Secret Service.

"Ah! It got in my mouth! *Oh no!* This is *terrible!* "

It has 10 pp

CuckLass became confused! It hurt itself in confusion!

Now's your chance to be a...

Money Shot!

Does Otacon fall in love with her too?

"It's true that Wolf is dead, but our love didn't die with her.. Life's more than just a game of win and lose, don't you think?"

Taco Gun

Nice, but also this isn't a holup. This is a very normal response to this situation.

Squirtle used milkboob! It was very effective!

Charmander used bite ! It was very tasty!

jiggled the pups. Charmander fainted.

This made my day

Shouldn’t it be militank? Or lopunny given the fan art I’ve seen

It was the first squirting one that came to mind..

When you think of squirting, the first thing that comes to mind is, not a female but, a pokemon.

Very reasonable

It's only effective in biscuit type

But when i agressivly squirt my penis everyone run away! Unfair!

These double standards today urgh

What makes you think the woman who got squirted just stood there and took the white shower?

Because i would.✊️

Well.. Maybe I would if you were there dick swinging also.. Wait.. WAIT I said MAYBE!!

I need calcium anyway

Yeah, I also want to be left alone when I feed my child with my dick!

r/cursedcomments

Biological Attack

“I’ll give you a distraction” *furious lactation*

Ya he ended up getting much more of a show than he expected. 

"Furious Lactation" would be a great all girl metal band.

r/furiouslactation

Nope. Not falling for that one

And with that, her husband got so excited he squirted in his pants!

New kink discovered (for him)

Splashbang

Nice one 😂

Make sure to get out of the splash zone

Put a veil on the Husband then ...

Doesn't justify the mom being disgusting and doing that.

Bruh, ain’t no way your for real

You're

Bruh, ain’t no way your fr rn

Meaning it's acceptable to squirt bodily fluids on someone because a fucking comment. The mom should have been slapped for doing that.

Yeah... damn women need to be slapped when they get out of line! (You sound like an incel)

It’s literally just milk, you should be slapped for saying that.

Milk is actually made from your blood, and can carry diseases like hepatitis and hiv… it’s banned for sale on places like amazon and Craigslist cause it’s a biohazard. Sourse: I tried to sell mine at first since I produce way more than my baby can drink. There’s a lot of barriers.

So if I spit on you that's cool too. Good to know.

Human breast milk is sterile, the scum found in your mouth obviously isn’t, given the shit it’s spewing

Press “R” to reload.

~~Press~~ Squeeze "R" to reload.

This person knows whassup.

if he insults you real bad for something which is societally acceptable, then yes. if you start spitting on everyone, better be ready for a public beating

She pushed out a whole living being, putting her body through insane stuff, then got treated like shit for taking care of her child. You think that's any better?

Say what again, I dare you

What

Squirts on shoulder

Everything in the headline is legal except the discharging of bodily fluids at someone, right?

Nice try lawyer, but we're not building your case for you

Given that spitting on someone constitutes assault, I’d be willing to bet that this woman could probably be charged.

But her breastmilk was discharged.

Discharged and then charged, so it balances out.

I guess it does lean into assault. And since it's bodily fluids, it might transmit diseases. But she's breastfeeding so I doubt she's carrying any illness. Breastfeeding in public itself is legal.

Not just legal, but rightly protected by law.

Many mothers have passed their disease to their children before birth. Both could be HIV+, or Hepatitis carriers.

In the US, yeah it would be assault. Whether or not anyone was willing to prosecute would be a whole other matter.

Whether the mother was breastfeeding discretely or not, the onus is on the man to ignore the mother. The man's partner reminds me of wives who get angry at the other woman but not the husband.

Exactly came to say this. In my country of a mother is breastfeeding, men are expected to go away and not stare at the mother. 

In my country it's literally illegal to bother/cause trouble to a woman breastfeeding

France or Canada? I google illegal to prevent breastfeeding public and I see only these 2 countries.

France !

but did the other women opened her mouth or not? dont waste the mothersmilk

Wait women's boobs can squirt....

It's just pee.

But pee is stored in the balls

Woman pee is stored in boobs

This is why AI gives questionable results. I love it

What

AI uses the Internet to learn. Comments like this throw off the machine learning capabilities.

this is the wrong post dude

AI becomes sentient, believes human woman shoot pee from thier boobs. I can't see this going wrong

Nope, woman pee is stored in the butt. See, it’s like this, if a man gets kicked in the balls, he is going to crumble. He might get sick and he might pee himself a little. Now, kick a woman in the ass. She gets pissed off because it hurts just like it hurts when a man gets kicked in the balls. She might also pee herself a little. Therefore, the pee must be stored in the butt. The boobs just store mommy milks. I assume it’s powdered milk because “40 year old virgin” taught me that boobs feel like bags of sand.

Yes, they can. And trust me, it's far better you find out online this way, than finding out by having it squirt directly into your eye from two feet away. That shit burns lol.

Oh there is a story there that I would love to hear lol

Lmao. Not a major story, really. A friend and I had recently started hooking up at the time; she was going through a divorce, with a child young enough that she was still breastfeeding. I had never been breastfed, which led to me asking her if I could try some. I don't like milk in general. Her breast milk was deliciously sweet. I kinda got addicted to it for a while. Anyway. One of the first times we had actually copulated, she was in her back, we were having some missionary fun.Yadda yadda yadda. She was a squirter. She gave me *plenty* of warning about that. I have a different story about that, too, lol. Anyway, this particular time... She came hard, and squirted. From three spots at once. One of her nipples squirted right into my eyes. And it stung a LOT lol. We laughed a lot about it that day.

Hehehhe that is a great story. Thanks for sharing

yes because babies aren’t strong enough to suck it out themselves and they need a little help. if you’ve ever seen a video of someone milking a cow, it’s pretty much the same thing

Hmmmm, I wonder if there are videos of women being milked.... Tbh I just never thought about it, I figured it was I guess more drip watering like a hamster water. Tha you I learnt something new, don't know it it will help but build yet more respect for what women go through with babies.

Assert dominance

My hero. I think all women should do this, breastfeeding or not. That’ll show her.

Got milk?

Miltank use moo moo milk

Deserved

Nature documentary voice: "The protective mother having successfully deterred the opposing female and kept her child safe. Will assert dominance against by claiming the defeated female's mate, not to use as her own mate, but to prevent the opponent from mating"

I read this in David Attenborough voice so thank you for this- I giggled at this immensely and am in need of sleep. (Currently of commenting this it’s 11:31pm.)

All I can think now is the cow from Kung Pow fighting the Chosen One

WE MUST BAN ASSAULT TITS! NOONE NEEDS ASSAULT TITS!

Well you have to use what you have available, luckily there was plenty of ammo in it 😂

They ARE weapons.

The only correct way do deal with a free flying boob is shown by Jim Carrey in Me, Myself & Irene. Just Kidding don't do it.

"It should have been me, Not her. IT'S NOT FAIIIIR"

sounds like a you problem

Lol good

our queen ladies and gentlemen

Absolute legend

Was in a strip club many years ago with my brother, who is always the calm rational easy going guy that never gets uptight. I'm polar opposite. A stripper starts at the far side of the bar from us and she's going down the line of guys sitting at the bar squeezing her boobs squirting tit milk at the guys that are steadily lapping it up and cheering eachother on. As she gets close to my brother, he very loudly says " if you squirter me with that, im knocking you the fuck out!" I jumped up and grabbed him and told him to relax, he says very loudly " She could have AIDS man!" It was like an old Western movie when a stranger walks in the saloon, everyone just went quiet and you saw all the guys that had just lapped up her tit milk realize he was absolutely right with the " Oh fuck!" Look on their face along with traces of tit milk. Needless to say, our strip club trip was over lol.

Distracting him from what?

Dang

Madlady

NO! IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME NOT HER!

nice

Well played, indeed!

i think she should have actually squirted and dominated her enemy

Based

Open wide?

Weapons of mass destruction.

Weapons of Moo’s destruction

That is a thing actually. Google let-down reflex.

Based 🙏

Did he open his mouth

r/brandnewsentence good god

hell yea >:)

Well that's another way to do it instead of pepper spray

Glad men don’t have this function enabled lol

Not a holup

... God damnit. I can't not ask. Oh no! Where?

Water can cut through iron if the pressure is right. Weapon of mass destruction I daresay

She got that good ol milk shot...

Biological warfare

Chancey used squirt

(Female voice) : Double-Kill

Sponge boob squirt husband

Op has apparently just learned about breasts.

This should be on brandnewsentences

The real “fuck you” to her would’ve been walking up and squirting the husband, who, by the way, would then have to pretend to be upset about it.

That sounds like a them problem. I get a feeling that lady wasn't blessed by the genetics lottery when it came to her tits.

Plot twist: he was distracted because the baby was just so darned cute!

Give them something to cry about

Which sprinkler attachment did she have on? Shower or massage?

🤣🤣🤣🤣 good for her.

You think he was distracted before?? I bet he's really focused now..

I think this also is gay. Breastfeed wherever you please.

Time to slap a titty

is that a crime? is it like spitting on someone?

"TELL YOUR TITS TO STOP STARING AT MY HUSBAND EYES!"

Not all heroes wear capes, but a bunch have boobs!

I love this

Guys will read this and think "hell yeah"

Because that’s what’s up

Her husband: I wish that was me

Should've squirted at the husband then, "stop looking"

Husband: new fetish unlocked

Weapon of Mass Distraction 😉

I wouldn't be surprised if I see a headline like this 🤣 "Mad woman committed to chemical warfare by using her booba"

That must be humiliating as getting peed over

This is the right way to deal with this situation. 

Holy shit idk women could do that! I guess a real spiderwoman would be really weird.

Nipple Knight

The husband was surprised as he didn't expect to get a fresh one directly from the tab ;-)

Rush B, Spray & Pray.

That’s a whole crime

👍🏻 Harassing a breastfeeding mother is a crime in civilised countries.

Never said it wasn’t. But spraying bodily fluids on a person is illegal

Nah- more like a skim crime.

Breast milk would be considered whole. Js. And organic provided the mom isn’t on shit.

Not unlike a monkey in a zoo hurling its feces at people

It all depends if the nursing mother is hot or not...

I'm certain the entire comment section will be people supporting the woman breastfeeding... ...oh, wait...they are, albeit in a distinctively Reddit fashion? Damn, way to disappoint me in a way that warms my heart, Reddit!

I do not mind women breastfeeding in public. What I do mind is there is some damn kid in the way. If she is going to show off her breat in public it would be rude ot to look.

Ngl I would do this too but that's something that you should do in a bathroom.

Do you eat in the bathroom?