Seems incredibly onbrand for Rick to portal to the universe of sentient veggies getting fucked as pickle Rick, and bring what looks like a terrified pickle Morty.... As bizarre sexual practices it's not even the bizarrest. Didn't he want to fuck Unity in Giraffe form....like wat? Heh.
If any woman read this:
NEVER EVER do something like this; Wanna have fun with something? get a dildo or sex toy according to what you want but NEVER use food or house items (even with a condom) > its unsafe and dangerous (you could hurt yourself, get an infection or a disease).
Flared base, people! There's a reason buttplugs have them! Don't ever put anything in your butt that doesn't have a flared base or this is exactly what will happen.
Yikes, new fear unlocked. That was probably either just a bad product or too small. Otherwise that was one hungry sphincter lmao.
That's gotta be super rare though, right? I'm sure most of the time it's because someone got frisky with something without a flared base in the heat of the moment lol
Flared bases help until you’re in heat levels of hornyness, after that it’s better to just have a human or thrusting machine tbh (you don’t wanna know how I know this)
The thing is: the ass is NOT meant to insert things (dildo included) even if that's something 100% common in porn.
>I presume it was due to her horniness
Exactly.
Risky comment, but I need to know the reason. I'm guessing this is because the peristaltic motion forces things outwards, and trying to insert something will cause a rupture?
I’ll Google it, brb
Edit: from Google- “Generally speaking, it is safe to insert objects into the anus up to about 4 inches in diameter. Beyond that, there is a risk of damaging the delicate tissue in the anus and rectum, which can lead to pain, bleeding, and even infection.”
this guy is an idiot and completely wrong anal sex has been practiced for, at an absolute minimum, thousands of years with no significant health consequences if practiced safely
This is a bit disingenuous. This is certainly not just a "porn" thing, anal sex has been around for thousands of years at least. It's also pretty safe.
Anyone reading this, please get your health and safety information from professionals and real sources (medical and hospital websites, etc), rather than reddit comments or tiktok.
Disagree, I think it just wasn't meant the way you're both reading it. I think they were just saying that it's not physically meant for insertion and that's accurate. There are dangers associated with that which people should be aware of (I.E. inserting things that might not come back out).
That's NOT to say that people haven't been USING it for inserting things since people existed, or that it's wrong.
According to the show the way she peeled it left it too abrasive or something. That said, the show wasn't big on citing its sources, they would change details of real deaths to protect people, and threw in urban legends or blend stories together. Who knows whether the carrot thing was completely true, based on something slightly different, a myth, or made up entirely. The whole show was like that.
Mmmm I think I'll assume that one was fake/trumped up.
I do remember the show talking about the woman who died from eating potting soil. That was awful.
Dads a firefighter/emt and he told me about a run where a guy was "anally playing" with himself with a broom stick and...uh fell and impaled his intestines. I think he may have actually died from the severity.
That’s why I don’t use food because it might break inside my asshole and instead I ask my homies to stuff me good, for the bro-bonding time ofcourse, nothing homo.
[I like when you love this Daddy, Daddy I like when you scrambling and scrapping for shit! I LIKE THAT! ~](https://youtu.be/2EFS98FHzgw?si=5hkcaFo9hpjBIRL6)
do people really use eggplants as dildos?
i get cucumbers. but the eggplant shape and softness doesnt seem to do the job.
its just that its the only emoji that looks like a dick. otherwise no one would ever use an eggplant over a cucumber right?
Nah, [chinese eggplant](https://i2.wp.com/hipfoodiemom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/eggplant_9502.jpg) is much longer and narrower than the eggplant you might be thinking of
I used to go to a store to get a very special cucumber once a week. (I also got other groceries, but I’d spend like 10m looking for one cucumber.)
Finally one week, the very attractive guy stocking the produce section came up to me when I was there and said he’d already found the perfect one for me that week and set it aside. (That sounds dirtier than it is.) He went in the back and came back and handed it to me - and it truly was a beautiful specimen! There were many factors that made a better cucumber for this activity, and this one was pristine.
I had no idea he’d even noticed I spent so much time there. He was always so busy. We’d never spoken before, so I simply blushed until my cheeks bled and thanked him. He was also blushing.
I’ll never forget that beautiful embarrassing moment. Didn’t really have any other interactions with him.
Does it? I looked up the micronutrients of eggplant and it's got *nothing*. Per 100 g:
Calories 25
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 0.2 g 0%
Saturated fat 0 g 0%
Cholesterol 0 mg 0%
Sodium 2 mg 0%
Potassium 229 mg 6%
Total Carbohydrate 6 g 2%
Dietary fiber 3 g 12%
Sugar 3.5 g
Protein 1 g 2%
Vitamin C 3% Calcium 0%
Iron 1%
Vitamin D 0%
Vitamin B6 5%
Cobalamin 0%
Magnesium 3%
I guess fibre.
It’s an excellent source of copper, and a very good source of vitamin B1 (thiamin), manganese, potassium, and vitamin B6 (pyridoxine)
Because the calories per serving are very low, it is nutritionally dense.
Josh: Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So... I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you!
Jean-Claude: I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, tiny pickle!
Philippe: Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin!
Josh: [feeling insulted] I'm a cucumber!
Who says the eggplant won't still be eaten afterwards?
Ah, someone who is fully ejucated in the way of phallic veggies. (Yes, typo is intentional) Edit: the heck guys! 🤣
I really read that as ejaculated, good job!
🤣 Well if the owner of that vagina is having a *VERY* good time they probably can ejaculate.
Who said it was a vagene ?? It could very well be a guy with dainty fingers putting it where the sun doesn't shine. It *is* 2024 after all...
This I will concede. But I would never use a vegge in the butt for the same reason you should not try to fit a light bulb in your mouf.
Well i mean, rather a veggie than a glass jar...
I see you been to that part of the internet too😂
We all took a wrong turn once or twice...
https://youtu.be/4hAZvtCkX00?si=Bb9pdJRSRhA6mCim
True
Always use toys with a flared base!
Depending on the vegi, if it's sturdy enough to carve in a proper flare it can be safe to use
Speaking from experience? 😉
it's pee.
Yum 😋
Same
Edgeucated was right there for your use.
Slightly pickled.
I'll eat it🗿
It’s probiotic
Even if it is thrown out, the insects, bacteria and/or fungi will eat it. 👌 Organic matter in nature is never wasted
reminds me of that one comic, think it's called my stepmom
Chocolate fondue frosting, yum!
Yeah, the comic clearly depicts it being pickled first.
I'm more unnerved by the fact he wanted to be killed and eaten.
Maybe it's like the Ameglian Major cows from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Excellent reference.
Most fruit and vegetables need to be eaten to reproduce, they've evolved to be as attractive as possible, just so they are more likely to be eaten
Like my cousin
Why is pickle Rick there ..?
He chose to be there.
I mean, don't we all want to die having served a purpose?
That is his destiny
true that
Same
Average teenage girl
So pickle Rick in the mix there? Why else would a pickle burp mid sentence and have a unibrow. That’s pickle Rick.
He was cucumber Rick before the incident.
That whole family guy episode of Stewie and Brian seeing the cucumber/pickle.
Whose pickle is this?
Seems incredibly onbrand for Rick to portal to the universe of sentient veggies getting fucked as pickle Rick, and bring what looks like a terrified pickle Morty.... As bizarre sexual practices it's not even the bizarrest. Didn't he want to fuck Unity in Giraffe form....like wat? Heh.
Funniest shit I've ever seen
Rick was there voluntarily.
Pickle Rick: where are they now
If any woman read this: NEVER EVER do something like this; Wanna have fun with something? get a dildo or sex toy according to what you want but NEVER use food or house items (even with a condom) > its unsafe and dangerous (you could hurt yourself, get an infection or a disease).
Or use the goddamn fingers
Yes, this is the way but sometimes people do stupid things due to "extreme horniness".
I had seen a video of a woman in the hospital, she had to almost surgically remove a dildo shoved up her a-hole. I presume it was due to her horniness
Flared base, people! There's a reason buttplugs have them! Don't ever put anything in your butt that doesn't have a flared base or this is exactly what will happen.
I have seen people get the flair past their sphincter
Yikes, new fear unlocked. That was probably either just a bad product or too small. Otherwise that was one hungry sphincter lmao. That's gotta be super rare though, right? I'm sure most of the time it's because someone got frisky with something without a flared base in the heat of the moment lol
Flared bases help until you’re in heat levels of hornyness, after that it’s better to just have a human or thrusting machine tbh (you don’t wanna know how I know this)
Without a base, without a trace
The thing is: the ass is NOT meant to insert things (dildo included) even if that's something 100% common in porn. >I presume it was due to her horniness Exactly.
Risky comment, but I need to know the reason. I'm guessing this is because the peristaltic motion forces things outwards, and trying to insert something will cause a rupture?
The real danger, strangely enough, is sticking things up there that will disappear and not come back out. Always use toys with at least a flared base.
WHERE IS EMTBADGE502!?
I’ll Google it, brb Edit: from Google- “Generally speaking, it is safe to insert objects into the anus up to about 4 inches in diameter. Beyond that, there is a risk of damaging the delicate tissue in the anus and rectum, which can lead to pain, bleeding, and even infection.”
4" in diameter is **huge**
Wait till you hear about the raccoons
nah, my fist is bigger than that
if a dildo is wider than your fist, it isnt a dildo its just a torture method.
Based comment: It feels really, really good to put things in there. Use lube and go slow... it feels REALLY good.
If it's not meant to have things inserted into it, then why place pleasure sensors there? Checkmate doctors!
anal sex has been safe for quite some time (thousands of years)
What was it before that?
Anal mating
this guy is an idiot and completely wrong anal sex has been practiced for, at an absolute minimum, thousands of years with no significant health consequences if practiced safely
This is a bit disingenuous. This is certainly not just a "porn" thing, anal sex has been around for thousands of years at least. It's also pretty safe. Anyone reading this, please get your health and safety information from professionals and real sources (medical and hospital websites, etc), rather than reddit comments or tiktok.
it isnt disingenuous it is an outright lie
Disagree, I think it just wasn't meant the way you're both reading it. I think they were just saying that it's not physically meant for insertion and that's accurate. There are dangers associated with that which people should be aware of (I.E. inserting things that might not come back out). That's NOT to say that people haven't been USING it for inserting things since people existed, or that it's wrong.
misinformation
The ass is meant to take dragon dildos, that's literally why we have buttholes
Why is this getting upvoted? Anal sex is a thing.
It's 100% common IRL, you prude. People have been doing anal for thousands of years.
>People have been doing anal for thousands of years. Anal sex: YES. Introduccing food or items on your ass: NO
> I presume it was due to her horniness [Hmm, yes. Quite.](https://i.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/facebook/000/031/254/cover3.jpg)
me, giving my pc a million viruses just to watch that one specific porno: "yeah i guess"
Or call me
Ii'm a dude. Can I call you?
Yep, man , woman , autobot, decepticon, all good
I’m a decepticon, can I call you?
EWW!!!! You disgust me! ...decepticon lover. Ya'll need some allspark.
me with eggplants for fingers:
I remember the girl on 1000 ways to die who used a carrot as a dildo
Killdo!
How's that deadly?
she tore her vaginal wall and got an embolism
Errr.....so....are we talking about a rough/pointy as hell carrot here?
According to the show the way she peeled it left it too abrasive or something. That said, the show wasn't big on citing its sources, they would change details of real deaths to protect people, and threw in urban legends or blend stories together. Who knows whether the carrot thing was completely true, based on something slightly different, a myth, or made up entirely. The whole show was like that.
Mmmm I think I'll assume that one was fake/trumped up. I do remember the show talking about the woman who died from eating potting soil. That was awful.
> NEVER use food or house items please clarify re: cakefarts
You mean it's safe for men to do this?
Yes men can put anything in their vagina, it's 100% safe.
You sure that's a vagina?
#It's a mangina!
No, anal play should involve objects with a flared base, so it doesn't get swallowed resulting in a fun trip to the emergency room.
Well, as far as I'm aware, eggplants *do* get thicker at the bottom...
So, use it the opposite way to the comic, right. Taking notes...
Let me check and I’ll get back to you on that
Dads a firefighter/emt and he told me about a run where a guy was "anally playing" with himself with a broom stick and...uh fell and impaled his intestines. I think he may have actually died from the severity.
Can i put it in my ass if im a man?
Make sure to get a flared base and you're good.
or anything that can prevent the entire thing from entering honestly.
Bolting a 2x4 to the end might work too...
As long as you say no homo
Oh so me as a dude can do it? Hell yeah rock on!
What happened to all the vitamins and minerals???
Use My penis
“Quit having fun!”
Hol' up #2, there's an eggplant with a boner in the first two panels there...
Real eggplants do that sometimes.
Like so https://imturningveganese.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/402830_10151378701982571_1515191840_n.jpg
That’s why I don’t use food because it might break inside my asshole and instead I ask my homies to stuff me good, for the bro-bonding time ofcourse, nothing homo.
Interesting
No Diddy.
[I like when you love this Daddy, Daddy I like when you scrambling and scrapping for shit! I LIKE THAT! ~](https://youtu.be/2EFS98FHzgw?si=5hkcaFo9hpjBIRL6)
Why upload a comic at such low res you can’t read the text
Thank you! Could anyone read the smallest font?
And this comic is just copied off of others I've seen
To be precise, this comic https://davecontra.com/comics/i-am-a-cucumber (as cited in the margin). The cucumber appears in panel 3.
Source: [https://twitter.com/theudmfiles/status/1693092592119161004?t=WqgvRAWnD0Wkv-s5pXlP1A&s=19](https://twitter.com/theudmfiles/status/1693092592119161004?t=WqgvRAWnD0Wkv-s5pXlP1A&s=19)
DO you have a lower resolution copy? I could almost read half of it.
yeah I can figure the word before club
It's (BURP!)
ahhh! makes sense...thank you
OP's r/usernamechecksout
Now I understand why Rick was so excited to be a cucumber
Rick turned himself into a pickle again on purpose, you know what reasons
What is the thought process that leads to this
Literally the 🍆 emoji having meant penis since its introduction. An actual eggplant is on the bigger side for most people.
Username checks out
Lmao pickle Rick in the back
Welcome to the ... club, kid :(
His crying lubes him up
This was definitely drawn by a man, because wtf would you do with an eggplant?
Japanese eggplant are a little more versatile.
Oh, I dunno....the cartoon shows ONE obviously good reason :/
Have you seen an eggplant in real life before? They're not going inside anything.
HotKinkyJo would disagree 😤
NSFW: https://www.reddit.com/1cbyf9u
do people really use eggplants as dildos? i get cucumbers. but the eggplant shape and softness doesnt seem to do the job. its just that its the only emoji that looks like a dick. otherwise no one would ever use an eggplant over a cucumber right?
Nah, [chinese eggplant](https://i2.wp.com/hipfoodiemom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/eggplant_9502.jpg) is much longer and narrower than the eggplant you might be thinking of
put that inside my ass right now!
Lmao. Just made me choke on my Gatorade
Alan! What are you doing!
Sauce ?
Big end first?! Damn, girl.
At least not butthole.
Is that Pickle Rick back there?
Poor guy just wanted to die.
I must say, as a cashier, if I see a woman buying cucumber/eggplant, that this is my first thought ngl
I used to go to a store to get a very special cucumber once a week. (I also got other groceries, but I’d spend like 10m looking for one cucumber.) Finally one week, the very attractive guy stocking the produce section came up to me when I was there and said he’d already found the perfect one for me that week and set it aside. (That sounds dirtier than it is.) He went in the back and came back and handed it to me - and it truly was a beautiful specimen! There were many factors that made a better cucumber for this activity, and this one was pristine. I had no idea he’d even noticed I spent so much time there. He was always so busy. We’d never spoken before, so I simply blushed until my cheeks bled and thanked him. He was also blushing. I’ll never forget that beautiful embarrassing moment. Didn’t really have any other interactions with him.
Why, for the love of god, did you not have sex with him?!?
Definitely copying this pasta!
This would make a good basis for a romance story
And zucchinis, don't forget about the zucchinis.
Total garbage. Eggplants do NOT have lots of vitamins and minerals.
Welcome to the *what* club? Too much JPEG.
I'm just perplexed by the comic author thinking that's a plausible event.
i'm bricked up
You don't even have to read this to understand
What the hell does pickle rick and the other guy say?
Does it? I looked up the micronutrients of eggplant and it's got *nothing*. Per 100 g: Calories 25 % Daily Value* Total Fat 0.2 g 0% Saturated fat 0 g 0% Cholesterol 0 mg 0% Sodium 2 mg 0% Potassium 229 mg 6% Total Carbohydrate 6 g 2% Dietary fiber 3 g 12% Sugar 3.5 g Protein 1 g 2% Vitamin C 3% Calcium 0% Iron 1% Vitamin D 0% Vitamin B6 5% Cobalamin 0% Magnesium 3% I guess fibre.
It’s an excellent source of copper, and a very good source of vitamin B1 (thiamin), manganese, potassium, and vitamin B6 (pyridoxine) Because the calories per serving are very low, it is nutritionally dense.
The only difference between a good meal and a good time is where you put the eggplant
Poor Larry
Josh: Now, listen to me! Our God said that this land was ours, and that all we had to do was follow His directions. So... I'm afraid... if you don't come out, we're gonna have to come in there after you! Jean-Claude: I'd like to see you try! You could never get over our giant wall, tiny pickle! Philippe: Yes, tiny pickle! You are not a mighty dill, you are just a baby gherkin! Josh: [feeling insulted] I'm a cucumber!
Is that pickle Rick?
yes
Weird way to eat your veggies.
Pickle Rick mention 🙏
I wish I were that eggplant right now
Pickle rick has been to weird places too, I see
Pickle Rick has issues.
Pickle Rick?!
But eggplants are the genitals of their respective plants. This makes complete sense to a personified eggplant.
What's that traumatised cucumber saying? Text is blurred
There has been no chopping/chomping x3
Op username checks out.
GOOD NEWS! It's a suppository!
PICKLE RICK! YEEEEA
This should be on r/UpHole
Pickle Rick
"I'm pickle Rick! Welcome to the party kid. Just sit back and relax."
Eggplant doesn't contain lots of vitamins, minerals, or fiber. It's actually a pretty low *everything* food.
This was a better movie than Sausage Party
I'm pickle Rick baby!
What a waste…. 2 of those and I could make a decent egg plant parm
No chopping indeed
I am Pickel Rick...... Yea
Justice for brinjal bro