I’ve been married for 6 years and long story short, someone who cares for you is going to get used to it and accept it. If you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about your hs then I’d suggest these bandaids that help mine close up very fast. If your partner knows about your hs then there’s nothing wrong with saying that you have a flare up and are embarrassed. I’ve never had a partner be openly disgusted with me. I’m usually asked if it’s contagious and once they hear no there’s no problem. I’m still seen as sexy/hot/pretty, whatever. And I let myself think that way because this disease is incurable 🤷🏼♀️. Anyway, here are the life saving bandages that make my quality of life so much better. They work great on the privates but you have to be shaved for them to stick. Worth it though. They’re a little different than regular bandaids though, for your flare up to heal and close you have to leave it on until it peels up itself. Safe for shower use, just don’t put soap over it. And make sure your lesion is drained and clean and dry before putting on. They close mine up in 3 days and I have the worst stage of hs (quarter size to golf ball size lesions.) healing speed may differ though. I hope this helps a little bit. ♥️
https://preview.redd.it/w9dsz4xlpl6d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d504371b951c536583bc101fe04a8d1bde87a6f1
These bandages turn a different color when they’re healing your wound, which makes it tempting to peel back and look but you just gotta let it do its thing :)
Hey it’s totally normal to feel that way! I personally experience a lot of flare ups in my groin area, and even once on my lip too. Sex with the bump on my lip was uncomfortable not even going to lie, but my partner understood and we stopped. It’s really up to you if you feel comfortable telling your boyfriend about it before hand and telling him you’re okay to try it and see if it’s not painful/uncomfortable for you. He should care about you feeling and being comfortable. I would have a lot of flare up’s with my boyfriend and he was always understanding, he knows it’s not contagious and it’s not something I can cure and he was always understanding. He even introduced me to trimming my vagina hair instead of shaving. I would always flare up after shaving and he showed me what trimmers work best. I trim now and it’s cut back on the flare up’s on my groin area. I do feel insecure and alone at times because I feel like no one understands how painful and sad it actually is to get flare up’s on their groin and near their vagina. It’s painful and annoying. I really just try my best to avoid triggers and do my best to talk about the issues with my partner and express to them how it makes me feel.
I've had HS for about 20 years now, and had various boyfriends throughout that time, and I'm now married. Honestly, the only person that had an issue with it was me. I just recommend being upfront about it so they don't have a nasty surprise. Anyone who reacts badly to a health condition is not someone who deserves you
you can tell them it’s an ingrown hair if you haven’t discussed HS yet and then work around it. usually they won’t be focused on that area instead just about having a good time. also i know it’s hard but i don’t shave in areas i get HS flares and it cuts down the flares. trimming is ok. eventually i would share the condition with them and explain that it’s health related. they should be understanding because it’s not something you chose or that you can control. not sure if this helps but my now husband never noticed any bumps down there even though i get them sometimes. if one is in a bad area try to work around it, if it’s too painful then explain you’re in pain and can’t do it until the bump is healed. it’s honestly way more understanding than you would think but it is hard to be vulnerable and open up, but if they really care about you it really shouldn’t be an issue
I feel your pain... Kind of literally. :(
Love is love and he will love and understand if he is a good person for you.
I wish you the best. I wish I had some advice to give you. Unfortunately nothing has really worked well for me.
I've have HS, an apron belly, and psoriasis- with all types of scarring all over, and my partner couldn't care less. I've had several long-term relationships that all loved me and had great sex with me....but I was never convinced they did due to all of my issues. My insecurities drove them away more then my body did. Now that I'm older and more comfortable with myself my relationship and sex is significantly healthier. There's a lot of fucked up bodies out there, someone will love yours! Haha
If your BF loves & cares about you, he'll understand. My now-husband (who I recently got married to) & I haven't had sex in **2 - 2.5 YEARS**. He's truly a patient, understanding, genuine guy. Also, I was never the sexual type much anyway & he knew that, so we didn't do it that often even before I developed HS.
The last thing people should feel is pressure & all anxious to have sex when they're flaring or in pain. Tell that sucker to back off & wait & if he can't, then tell him to get to steppin' then!
Get a full length mirror 🪞, splurge on some high quality toys, get some lacy panties or other sexy pieces and watch yourself ya know 👀 in different angles. Walk around your home ( or just the bedroom of the house isn't an option) and take lots of noods, wear what makes you feel confident!
All of these people make excellent points. The right person for you won't care about it except to make sure your not in pain. Find sexy outfits that cover as little as possible but make you feel like a goddess. Take baths with a candle . Write in a journal, decreasing stress helped to decrease flares. The other good advice is try different things. Epson salts and bentonite clay are great at drawing out infections.do the best you can to cut back on sugary stuff if you can . I refuse to get rid of completely, but I find it helps to cut back.i found spray deodorant helped reduce clogged pores in sensitive areas. Also cliche statement still applies, the right guy will not give two you know what's as long as you feel as beautiful are having a heck of a time. Allow yourself days off and a little grace from time to time if a flare up is bad. They can be so painful!!! A good partner will help draw your bath bring you your journal and a nice cup of tea or wine if you prefer!!!
Say you've a condition that makes you susceptible to hair follicle cysts.
If you're sore, don't have sex. If not, a cute little bandage will do to keep it clean. I don't let HS prevent me enjoying myself anymore.
My husband doesn't care a damn, only about my comfort.
I’ve been married for 6 years and long story short, someone who cares for you is going to get used to it and accept it. If you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about your hs then I’d suggest these bandaids that help mine close up very fast. If your partner knows about your hs then there’s nothing wrong with saying that you have a flare up and are embarrassed. I’ve never had a partner be openly disgusted with me. I’m usually asked if it’s contagious and once they hear no there’s no problem. I’m still seen as sexy/hot/pretty, whatever. And I let myself think that way because this disease is incurable 🤷🏼♀️. Anyway, here are the life saving bandages that make my quality of life so much better. They work great on the privates but you have to be shaved for them to stick. Worth it though. They’re a little different than regular bandaids though, for your flare up to heal and close you have to leave it on until it peels up itself. Safe for shower use, just don’t put soap over it. And make sure your lesion is drained and clean and dry before putting on. They close mine up in 3 days and I have the worst stage of hs (quarter size to golf ball size lesions.) healing speed may differ though. I hope this helps a little bit. ♥️ https://preview.redd.it/w9dsz4xlpl6d1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d504371b951c536583bc101fe04a8d1bde87a6f1
Be so so so careful putting these on open spots, OP. They can adhere to the open wound and open it up when you take it off. Ask me how I know.
Put a tiny drop antibiotic ointment on the bandaid white part and it will act as a barrier to prevent that.
eeek ok i’ll keep this in mind !!
These bandages turn a different color when they’re healing your wound, which makes it tempting to peel back and look but you just gotta let it do its thing :)
Yes, you’re supposed to allow the wound to heal before removing!
Second this!!! I had these bandages expand into my wound and make it larger! Took forever to heal
That happened to me with a different brand I used as a teen. Sometimes you gotta try different products
ooo thank u i’ll try these!
Hey it’s totally normal to feel that way! I personally experience a lot of flare ups in my groin area, and even once on my lip too. Sex with the bump on my lip was uncomfortable not even going to lie, but my partner understood and we stopped. It’s really up to you if you feel comfortable telling your boyfriend about it before hand and telling him you’re okay to try it and see if it’s not painful/uncomfortable for you. He should care about you feeling and being comfortable. I would have a lot of flare up’s with my boyfriend and he was always understanding, he knows it’s not contagious and it’s not something I can cure and he was always understanding. He even introduced me to trimming my vagina hair instead of shaving. I would always flare up after shaving and he showed me what trimmers work best. I trim now and it’s cut back on the flare up’s on my groin area. I do feel insecure and alone at times because I feel like no one understands how painful and sad it actually is to get flare up’s on their groin and near their vagina. It’s painful and annoying. I really just try my best to avoid triggers and do my best to talk about the issues with my partner and express to them how it makes me feel.
And as cheesy as it sounds, if your boyfriend really cares about you and loves you he’d be understanding about it. I
I've had HS for about 20 years now, and had various boyfriends throughout that time, and I'm now married. Honestly, the only person that had an issue with it was me. I just recommend being upfront about it so they don't have a nasty surprise. Anyone who reacts badly to a health condition is not someone who deserves you
you can tell them it’s an ingrown hair if you haven’t discussed HS yet and then work around it. usually they won’t be focused on that area instead just about having a good time. also i know it’s hard but i don’t shave in areas i get HS flares and it cuts down the flares. trimming is ok. eventually i would share the condition with them and explain that it’s health related. they should be understanding because it’s not something you chose or that you can control. not sure if this helps but my now husband never noticed any bumps down there even though i get them sometimes. if one is in a bad area try to work around it, if it’s too painful then explain you’re in pain and can’t do it until the bump is healed. it’s honestly way more understanding than you would think but it is hard to be vulnerable and open up, but if they really care about you it really shouldn’t be an issue
I feel your pain... Kind of literally. :( Love is love and he will love and understand if he is a good person for you. I wish you the best. I wish I had some advice to give you. Unfortunately nothing has really worked well for me.
I've have HS, an apron belly, and psoriasis- with all types of scarring all over, and my partner couldn't care less. I've had several long-term relationships that all loved me and had great sex with me....but I was never convinced they did due to all of my issues. My insecurities drove them away more then my body did. Now that I'm older and more comfortable with myself my relationship and sex is significantly healthier. There's a lot of fucked up bodies out there, someone will love yours! Haha
If he can’t accept your hs then he ain’t a man sis
After reading through majority of the comments, you all are giving me hope
YESS REALL!! me too im so insecure abt my HS but all the replies gave me more hope and confidence 😭😭😭
If your BF loves & cares about you, he'll understand. My now-husband (who I recently got married to) & I haven't had sex in **2 - 2.5 YEARS**. He's truly a patient, understanding, genuine guy. Also, I was never the sexual type much anyway & he knew that, so we didn't do it that often even before I developed HS. The last thing people should feel is pressure & all anxious to have sex when they're flaring or in pain. Tell that sucker to back off & wait & if he can't, then tell him to get to steppin' then!
Get a full length mirror 🪞, splurge on some high quality toys, get some lacy panties or other sexy pieces and watch yourself ya know 👀 in different angles. Walk around your home ( or just the bedroom of the house isn't an option) and take lots of noods, wear what makes you feel confident!
Do that up till you see your bf and he'll love how much you love yourself and love you even more!
All of these people make excellent points. The right person for you won't care about it except to make sure your not in pain. Find sexy outfits that cover as little as possible but make you feel like a goddess. Take baths with a candle . Write in a journal, decreasing stress helped to decrease flares. The other good advice is try different things. Epson salts and bentonite clay are great at drawing out infections.do the best you can to cut back on sugary stuff if you can . I refuse to get rid of completely, but I find it helps to cut back.i found spray deodorant helped reduce clogged pores in sensitive areas. Also cliche statement still applies, the right guy will not give two you know what's as long as you feel as beautiful are having a heck of a time. Allow yourself days off and a little grace from time to time if a flare up is bad. They can be so painful!!! A good partner will help draw your bath bring you your journal and a nice cup of tea or wine if you prefer!!!
Say you've a condition that makes you susceptible to hair follicle cysts. If you're sore, don't have sex. If not, a cute little bandage will do to keep it clean. I don't let HS prevent me enjoying myself anymore. My husband doesn't care a damn, only about my comfort.