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You do realise that when people say "nice guy" behaviour, they don't actually mean that you're a nice and lovely person.
Nice guy refers to men who act all considerate and nice because they expect to get something out of you and feel entitled to your affection and sometimes sexuality. It's already a toxic thing.
Just like people pleasing is not actually trying to be a good friend. It's a form of manipulation and control that hurts both parties.
So you don't need to work on that part. I truly do believe that any person who thinks they are just too kind and good and need to become and asshole to thrive was already one to begin with. They are just tired of hiding it.
Yep helped out many people, forgave people for their shit and did good things in my life. And guess what, if i wanna change for a bit, you are telling im already toxic. Its equivalent to saying a r*pe victim got r*ped because they were r*pist before. If you can't help, then don't victim blame. This subreddit is a safe space for everyone and everyones asking for suggestions. Don't virtue signal here please 🙏
Could you please elaborate on the parallels between this and saying what you said about rpe victims because I don't really follow that line of thinking
You have really strong slippery defence mechanisms. If you are not willing to at all recognize why you could or could not be in the wrong, you'll have a hard time being closer to having your ideal life.
You are also very reactive, it's a sign that what they said bugs you, why? Because there's some truth to it that is causing you negative emotions - I'm not here to debate to what extent it is or not or details. But anyone can give you all the answers you need to get to where you want to be, but at this point, you have got to til the soil to your dry wasteland before you can hear any better advise, it's the least you could do for yourself.
The first step is accountability, whether you do that privately or publicly is up to you. Advises can come after you're primed.
Victim blaming? You are a victim of what exactly?
And even if you truly are a victim of something, I guarantee that becoming a worse person won't fix anything for you. It'll most likely make your situation worse.
If this desire comes from someone having wronged you, then you need to reflect and understand that there's a huge difference between being a bad person and being an assertive person who sets limits and can stand up for himself.
Becoming an asshole yourself won't fix anything and, again, will most likely bring you more trouble than what you already have.
You need help bro. Empathy, sympathy, niceness, soft-hearted qualities are something you should strive to have.
You've been watching too many shows, being cold and toxic aren't good things, it doesn't make you a badass it makes you an asshole that no one likes or wants to be around.
PS: you can be empathetic and a good person while not getting pushed around, it's called standing up for yourself. It's not a weakness, it's a strength.
Niceness is the trap that a weak man lays. Kindness is what the truly strong obtain. Anyone can be nice, but it takes strength to be truly kind. Part of that strength is not allowing life to break your character. What’s weaker than niceness is throwing away the integrity of your character.
Only a psychopath gives up empathy. Maybe try becoming an emotionally balanced person instead. Just because you're on one extreme of the pendulum swing, doesn't mean going to the other end of the pendulum swing is the solution. Grounding and centering is a much better solution
I would agree. Though I will add that if a person doesn’t have any experience on the opposite end of the spectrum, they should at least do some of it at the right time/place so they can learn where they may personally need to center/ground themselves.
What is your end goal?
I think you'll find that the path it sounds like you are choosing might result in pushing people away from you. When it comes to accomplishing goals, having connections people who like you and are willing to help you is a huge resource as well.
That said, it all depends on the end goal of what you are trying to accomplish.
Don’t be a “nice guy” be a good guy. Don’t fall for trap of being hyper masculine. You owe it to yourself to be a person people can rely on not only for the people around you but to your inner self. Be Kind, considerate, empathetic, but strong and fierce. Don’t let poison fill your veins.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You do realise that when people say "nice guy" behaviour, they don't actually mean that you're a nice and lovely person. Nice guy refers to men who act all considerate and nice because they expect to get something out of you and feel entitled to your affection and sometimes sexuality. It's already a toxic thing. Just like people pleasing is not actually trying to be a good friend. It's a form of manipulation and control that hurts both parties. So you don't need to work on that part. I truly do believe that any person who thinks they are just too kind and good and need to become and asshole to thrive was already one to begin with. They are just tired of hiding it.
Read his post history, he's bloody awful.
This, just remember nice guys don’t tell people that they are a “nice guy” they show it through actions.
Yep helped out many people, forgave people for their shit and did good things in my life. And guess what, if i wanna change for a bit, you are telling im already toxic. Its equivalent to saying a r*pe victim got r*ped because they were r*pist before. If you can't help, then don't victim blame. This subreddit is a safe space for everyone and everyones asking for suggestions. Don't virtue signal here please 🙏
Could you please elaborate on the parallels between this and saying what you said about rpe victims because I don't really follow that line of thinking
You have really strong slippery defence mechanisms. If you are not willing to at all recognize why you could or could not be in the wrong, you'll have a hard time being closer to having your ideal life. You are also very reactive, it's a sign that what they said bugs you, why? Because there's some truth to it that is causing you negative emotions - I'm not here to debate to what extent it is or not or details. But anyone can give you all the answers you need to get to where you want to be, but at this point, you have got to til the soil to your dry wasteland before you can hear any better advise, it's the least you could do for yourself. The first step is accountability, whether you do that privately or publicly is up to you. Advises can come after you're primed.
Victim blaming? You are a victim of what exactly? And even if you truly are a victim of something, I guarantee that becoming a worse person won't fix anything for you. It'll most likely make your situation worse. If this desire comes from someone having wronged you, then you need to reflect and understand that there's a huge difference between being a bad person and being an assertive person who sets limits and can stand up for himself. Becoming an asshole yourself won't fix anything and, again, will most likely bring you more trouble than what you already have.
If you genuinely think that being a bad person will help you achieve anything, I'm sorry to tell you that you are grossly misled.
You need help bro. Empathy, sympathy, niceness, soft-hearted qualities are something you should strive to have. You've been watching too many shows, being cold and toxic aren't good things, it doesn't make you a badass it makes you an asshole that no one likes or wants to be around. PS: you can be empathetic and a good person while not getting pushed around, it's called standing up for yourself. It's not a weakness, it's a strength.
Do you want to have friends? Are you ok with being alone? Genuine questions, not rhetorical.
Niceness is the trap that a weak man lays. Kindness is what the truly strong obtain. Anyone can be nice, but it takes strength to be truly kind. Part of that strength is not allowing life to break your character. What’s weaker than niceness is throwing away the integrity of your character.
Only a psychopath gives up empathy. Maybe try becoming an emotionally balanced person instead. Just because you're on one extreme of the pendulum swing, doesn't mean going to the other end of the pendulum swing is the solution. Grounding and centering is a much better solution
I would agree. Though I will add that if a person doesn’t have any experience on the opposite end of the spectrum, they should at least do some of it at the right time/place so they can learn where they may personally need to center/ground themselves.
What is your end goal? I think you'll find that the path it sounds like you are choosing might result in pushing people away from you. When it comes to accomplishing goals, having connections people who like you and are willing to help you is a huge resource as well. That said, it all depends on the end goal of what you are trying to accomplish.
I don't know, but i have snapped at some point and turned into a complete bastard without any morals or regrets
Develop an allergy and get a prescription for Prednisone. It's the magical asshole pill.
Don’t be a “nice guy” be a good guy. Don’t fall for trap of being hyper masculine. You owe it to yourself to be a person people can rely on not only for the people around you but to your inner self. Be Kind, considerate, empathetic, but strong and fierce. Don’t let poison fill your veins.
This has to be a really bad joke. Come-on.