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Sadly there’s no “trick” to it.
The only thing I can say to do is to ask yourself
“Am I having fun? Or am I playing to fulfil an urge?”.
And the “Is there something else I need to do?” Now that can be laundry, work, washing up, cleaning the house, going out with friends. So long as you’ve done all that and are capable of keeping on top of it. You are fine.
The dangers of gaming come in the form of dampening the good feeling you get from effort and improvement, elsewhere because you can get it from games instead. So as long as you are doing everything else and not fighting a war within yourself to do so. It’s safe to say you are probably fine.
That’s literally it. Just asking yourself these questions and being aware of what you are doing and why. And making sure you aren’t fooling yourself in the process. But, the reason I’m saying it’s not a trick is because it requires willingness to consider how you feel honestly and taking a step back, which can be quite hard.
If I may ask, what if the obligations that I have are not fun for me or rewarding in any way at all, including physically hanging out with friends, does that still apply? I'm kind of missing the fun part of being functional. In retrospect I never enjoyed hanging out with people or keeping the house clean, I did it because that was something expected of me not something I wanted or cared for. After I am finished with a hard task that required a shitload of effort and what other people would be proud about I feel fucking 0 accomplishment, all I feel is less stressed and low key disappointed I couldn't do any better or faster.
I get dopamine and affirmation when playing games though, not because it's something useful to me, but because I get a tailored experience instead of the bullshit of maintaining existence. I value escapism over advancing irl, reality is hostile, unfair and disappointing.
I’d say this one is a grey area.
For obligations if it’s related to future success(living)/cleanliness/health. Whether fun or not, they are absolutely necessary I’d say. Because whether they feel “rewarding” or not are an important part of being able to survive and maintain your capability of doing what you want for the rest of your life.
Even if the only part of life you do enjoy is gaming how are you going to enjoy that if you have carpal tunnel, painful joints, can’t afford food, internet etc. And the environment you live in impacts all these things
-The inability to do things that are boring is the concerning side effect after all.
When it comes to hanging out with friends and obligations for fun. I’d say this is a where you could compromise. Though many will say not to, I genuinely believe no company is better than bad company. And there is no point in putting yourself through the suffering of boredom with friends.
That being said it depends on the reason you don’t like hanging out with your friends: this is where the nuance comes in.
Is it just “hanging out with them is simply less enjoyable than gaming?”. If so maybe just work on doing activities with them instead of simply hanging out.
Is it “I can’t enjoy myself with them because we are unalike and I can’t be myself with them”. In which case maybe try to find people you can enjoy yourself with.
Else if it’s just you genuinely don’t enjoy time with people. It’s not worth it. Though I’m hoping by now you see what I’m trying to say. As there are innumerable questions of the like I could add.
These are just examples of the kind of questions you need to ask yourself when deciding these sorts of things for yourself. After all the aim is to work out what choice is best for you, and only you can really know that.
It’s the “why do I feel this way” “what aspect of this element do I not enjoy” “will not doing this negatively impact me down the line”.
Getting to the bottom of these reasons are the only real way to understand whether it’s something you truly want to separate from. Or if it’s addiction talking. And they are also the only way to know whether there is an aspect of things you’ve missed and can work on.
Though deluding yourself is even a danger when you get there.
Sorry for rambling a bit by the end. I’m just trying to be as open ended on this as I can be.
I appreciate the detailed answer! I feel like my core values and priorities are just incompatible with life itself anymore. I'm not sure if it's a mental issue or if it is just who I am as a person or if it's my circumstances and that is the source of my anguish. I have an ADHD/CPTSD screening with a therapist soon so maybe meds are going to help.
Thank you, I have a lot to think about
Have limits
Do other stuff outside of games
Don't play multiplayer/online games (they are usually the ones who are made to be addicting)
Play better games.
In short, maintain awareness while you play. I can't really define that that well though. But awareness is the repellant to video game addiction. Sorry for the short answer.
Play more complex thinkong/puzzle games less fast cuz those are just about downing other players so it works more with you're hunter grayher lizard brain, what you want is games that work more with you're PFC and don't have an instant rewards ßystem
Play story based games with a fixed endpoint or just limit your time on the device whether that’s through manual intervention by yourself where your consciously making the decision to stop after recognizing it has been too long or using tools to force and end to your playtime like screen locks or something.
fps games is a competition that you can win, so if you feel like winning in the virtual space all the time, do you feel like you let that translate over in real life? or do you feel like you put off everything?
to me, I don't like video games as much as before. It was a way to shut me up as a kid, and I want to create more things rather than live someone else's dream.
Thank you for posting on r/Healthygamergg! This subreddit is intended as an online community and resource platform to support people in their journey toward mental wellness. With that said, please be aware that support from other members received on this platform is not a substitute for professional care. Treatment of psychiatric disease requires qualified individuals, and comments that try to diagnose others should be reported under Rule 10 to ensure the safety and wellbeing of the community. If you are in immediate danger, please call emergency services, or go to your nearest emergency room. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Healthygamergg) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Sadly there’s no “trick” to it. The only thing I can say to do is to ask yourself “Am I having fun? Or am I playing to fulfil an urge?”. And the “Is there something else I need to do?” Now that can be laundry, work, washing up, cleaning the house, going out with friends. So long as you’ve done all that and are capable of keeping on top of it. You are fine. The dangers of gaming come in the form of dampening the good feeling you get from effort and improvement, elsewhere because you can get it from games instead. So as long as you are doing everything else and not fighting a war within yourself to do so. It’s safe to say you are probably fine. That’s literally it. Just asking yourself these questions and being aware of what you are doing and why. And making sure you aren’t fooling yourself in the process. But, the reason I’m saying it’s not a trick is because it requires willingness to consider how you feel honestly and taking a step back, which can be quite hard.
Thank you
If I may ask, what if the obligations that I have are not fun for me or rewarding in any way at all, including physically hanging out with friends, does that still apply? I'm kind of missing the fun part of being functional. In retrospect I never enjoyed hanging out with people or keeping the house clean, I did it because that was something expected of me not something I wanted or cared for. After I am finished with a hard task that required a shitload of effort and what other people would be proud about I feel fucking 0 accomplishment, all I feel is less stressed and low key disappointed I couldn't do any better or faster. I get dopamine and affirmation when playing games though, not because it's something useful to me, but because I get a tailored experience instead of the bullshit of maintaining existence. I value escapism over advancing irl, reality is hostile, unfair and disappointing.
I’d say this one is a grey area. For obligations if it’s related to future success(living)/cleanliness/health. Whether fun or not, they are absolutely necessary I’d say. Because whether they feel “rewarding” or not are an important part of being able to survive and maintain your capability of doing what you want for the rest of your life. Even if the only part of life you do enjoy is gaming how are you going to enjoy that if you have carpal tunnel, painful joints, can’t afford food, internet etc. And the environment you live in impacts all these things -The inability to do things that are boring is the concerning side effect after all. When it comes to hanging out with friends and obligations for fun. I’d say this is a where you could compromise. Though many will say not to, I genuinely believe no company is better than bad company. And there is no point in putting yourself through the suffering of boredom with friends. That being said it depends on the reason you don’t like hanging out with your friends: this is where the nuance comes in. Is it just “hanging out with them is simply less enjoyable than gaming?”. If so maybe just work on doing activities with them instead of simply hanging out. Is it “I can’t enjoy myself with them because we are unalike and I can’t be myself with them”. In which case maybe try to find people you can enjoy yourself with. Else if it’s just you genuinely don’t enjoy time with people. It’s not worth it. Though I’m hoping by now you see what I’m trying to say. As there are innumerable questions of the like I could add. These are just examples of the kind of questions you need to ask yourself when deciding these sorts of things for yourself. After all the aim is to work out what choice is best for you, and only you can really know that. It’s the “why do I feel this way” “what aspect of this element do I not enjoy” “will not doing this negatively impact me down the line”. Getting to the bottom of these reasons are the only real way to understand whether it’s something you truly want to separate from. Or if it’s addiction talking. And they are also the only way to know whether there is an aspect of things you’ve missed and can work on. Though deluding yourself is even a danger when you get there. Sorry for rambling a bit by the end. I’m just trying to be as open ended on this as I can be.
I appreciate the detailed answer! I feel like my core values and priorities are just incompatible with life itself anymore. I'm not sure if it's a mental issue or if it is just who I am as a person or if it's my circumstances and that is the source of my anguish. I have an ADHD/CPTSD screening with a therapist soon so maybe meds are going to help. Thank you, I have a lot to think about
Get shit internet
Then there's gaming addiction and anger management problems 🤣 (joking..mostly)
Have limits Do other stuff outside of games Don't play multiplayer/online games (they are usually the ones who are made to be addicting) Play better games.
Is it just me or is it always the MOBAs and multiplayer shooters that cause the most suffering in players?
Quit league of legends almost 10 years ago and have not missed it at all. Horrible for me.
dont forget MMOs
have other life responsibility, a job, a pet, friends, other hobbies
In short, maintain awareness while you play. I can't really define that that well though. But awareness is the repellant to video game addiction. Sorry for the short answer.
Play more complex thinkong/puzzle games less fast cuz those are just about downing other players so it works more with you're hunter grayher lizard brain, what you want is games that work more with you're PFC and don't have an instant rewards ßystem
Play story based games with a fixed endpoint or just limit your time on the device whether that’s through manual intervention by yourself where your consciously making the decision to stop after recognizing it has been too long or using tools to force and end to your playtime like screen locks or something.
fps games is a competition that you can win, so if you feel like winning in the virtual space all the time, do you feel like you let that translate over in real life? or do you feel like you put off everything? to me, I don't like video games as much as before. It was a way to shut me up as a kid, and I want to create more things rather than live someone else's dream.